Question:
> Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? > Thanks, > Symynthe
Congratulations! Best of luck to you first off…I have a son who will be three in June. Here’s what i’ve learned(so far): 1. Read the textbook then pitch it…sort of…remember that no two babies are the same…text books are a guideline, not the gospel. Remember this and you’ll save yourself loads of insanity. 2. Take it easy on yourself. ie: if it’s a choice between a nap for you and housework…if you are tired — take the nap…trust me…you and your baby will benefit immensely from you being rested, especially if you aren’t getting to sleep through the night at first. 3. Don’t be afraid to call the maternity ward nurse for advice after the baby arrives and you all go home…doctors, i’ve found, have all the medical expertise, but none of the maternal finesse…if i listened to my doctors advice on nursing…my baby would have starved to death…Duty nurse I spoke with gave me good advise that worked…also gave a patient ear to my rantings… Nurses have alot more practical information on kid raising, especially the very early days. 4. Remember, all those other "all-knowing" parents out there, were first-timers themselves at one point. Don’t let them rattle you…Do your best and love your baby and things will go fine… hope this helps some… donna > http://members.tripod.com/~EmalethEmrsn/index.html MY PERSONAL SITE > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/PaganFriends PAGAN MAILING LIST > http://themail.com/ref.htm?ref=415974 FREE EMAIL THAT PAYS!! 
– …so it goes — Billy Pilgrim Before you buy.
Response:
> Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay?
1) How do you pronounce your name? 2) Don’t worry about being text-bookish. Raising a child is anything but textbookish. Cathy Weeks Before you buy.
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Parents at 19 & 23 now a single parent at 21, can offer no real advise for relationships especially when there will be three of you’s, you’ll just need to get on with it, best of luck. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
WHAT?
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Parents at 19 & 23 now a single parent at 21, can offer no > real advise for relationships especially when there will be > three of you’s, you’ll just need to get on with it, best of luck. > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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well said, Steve. I’m in complete agreement. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? > Thanks, > Symynthe > Toss the parenting books. Believe only medical information. Ignore > relatives. Don’t believe in anything that tells you to MAKE your kid > into anybody, FORCE them to do anything, or DO any particular thing > other than to love them. Trust your child’s nature and your own when it > tells you it’s not nice to pick on people smaller than you. Treat them > like your guest because that’s what they are. They are not "yours". They > are THEIRS. > Steve
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The best advice my doctor gave me was 1) it is not possible to spoil a child under 1 yr of age. Pick them up whenever they cry (if you can) hug, kiss and cuddle them as much as you want. And 2) keep your home at a comfortable temp for you and your hubby (meaning it is okay to use a/c, which my MIL was convienced would kill my baby!) If their little hands and feet feel cold put sock and mittens on them, they are cold because of their small size. I have read a ton of child care books. Many, IMO, are a bunch of mumbo jumbo that don’t make sense in the real world. I did find a few good ideas in each and rejected what sounded and felt wrong to me. Good luck, Liz
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If I were you, I’d also try to hook up with other Mothers – it’s a great comfort to know that yours is not the only child doing or not doing a particular thing. Also, other Moms can usually help you out by telling you what worked for them in a particular situation (not unlike this newsgroup). One organization for Mothers is the Mothers’ Centers. There are about 50 across the United States. All Mothers (adoptive, biological, working, stay at home etc.) are welcomed at Mothers’ Centers, although at many (not all) of the centers, the majority of the Mothers stay at home either full or part time. If you’d like to learn more about them, and possibly find one in your area, go to their website: www.motherscenter.org Heidi
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You’ve received lots of good advice so far. One thing I would add is that I got lots of good information from the "What to Expect.." books, The First Year and Toddler Years would the ones. They are just FILLED with lots of information, kind of like having a doula on call. The format is lots of letters from moms with common sense replies. No nagging, no preaching, just lots of info. I used it to look up lots of stuff and ws surprised by what was in there. Check them out if you have time. Good Luck!!!! L
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? > Thanks, > Symynthe > http://members.tripod.com/~EmalethEmrsn/index.html MY PERSONAL SITE > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/PaganFriends PAGAN MAILING LIST > http://themail.com/ref.htm?ref=415974 FREE EMAIL THAT PAYS!!
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Hi I have just had my 5th baby and my advice is try using your own instinct with your baby and you’ll find you’ll know exactly what to do.It may take a few days but you will learn to distinguish his/her different cries and know what each one means i.e. hungry cry frightened cry . Once you do that its a piece of cake. Toni – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? > Thanks, > Symynthe > http://members.tripod.com/~EmalethEmrsn/index.html MY PERSONAL SITE > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/PaganFriends PAGAN MAILING LIST > http://themail.com/ref.htm?ref=415974 FREE EMAIL THAT PAYS!!
Response:
> Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? > Thanks, > Symynthe
Toss the parenting books. Believe only medical information. Ignore relatives. Don’t believe in anything that tells you to MAKE your kid into anybody, FORCE them to do anything, or DO any particular thing other than to love them. Trust your child’s nature and your own when it tells you it’s not nice to pick on people smaller than you. Treat them like your guest because that’s what they are. They are not "yours". They are THEIRS. Steve
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? > Congrats on the coming addition! The very best piece of advice I have for you is > something an old nurse told me the night my first was born. I was nursing the > baby and it was like 2am. This nurse came in and she held my dd’s hand for a > very long time. Then she said, "Just remember that this is the person who will > be holding your hand when you die and you will do just fine." It didn’t really > sink in at the moment…but that has touched the way I parent more than any other > one thing. Good luck! > — > Maureen > Single Mom to Sarah 13, Michael 11, Matthew 7, Rebecca 5 and Adam 3 > — Every morning I get miles of smiles — > Full time student/Small Business owner > http://www.pacificbytes.com/SS/
Oh Maureen, did that ever hit home & bring a tear to my eye. I’m so emotional though that I cry at everything sad or happy. I was holding my Mom’s hand when she died. And, she was always there for me. There is always somebody to knock you down (not literally), but there was always Mom to bolster me up & tell me how great I was. I always say I’ve been so fortunate as I had TWO people in my life that gave me total unconditional love no matter what. They are my Mom & my husband. I’ve tried to do the same for my kids. Symynthe, you have been given some excellent advice from some wonderful people. There is nothing more wonderful then rocking that tiny one in the wee hours in the morning with that soft head buried in your neck. That’s the best feeling in the whole world & they grow up so fast & want to be so independent. Now I get to enjoy that all over again with my granddaughters. The newest one is only 3 wks old. My pediatrician 30 yrs ago advised me to go with my mother’s instinct & not listen to mother & Mil’s preaching. I have to say I couldn’t have done it with such ease (it seems now,haha) without such a wonderful pediatrician. I called her constantly & her ‘girl Friday knew what doc advised for which set of circumstances & if not, she got the answer from her and called me back or the doctor would call me. A first class pediatrician are worth they’re weight in gold. Also, don’t turn down any help from family, friends or neighbors. And, have a good baby medical or reference book to run to & look up stuff about what to do at 3AM. It will be a lifesaver & calm you down until the doctor’s office opens later in the morning. Hugs, Judy
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The best thing my pediatrician told me was "If you don’t know what to do in, pretend that you are on a desert island with your child, where there is no one to ask, and follow your instincts. 99% of the time, you will do the right thing." I’m not sure I totally agree with him, but I do believe you should follow your gut, not some book. You can find a book that approves or disapproves of almost any parenting practice. Pick advice that feels right to you and feel free to discard the rest.
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Hi Symynthe. A big part of taking care of newborns depends on the newborn you are taking care of. I’m not saying that to be trite…a lot will depend on what your little darling is like. Some newborns like to be swaddled (my DD) while others cannot stand it (my DS). Some love their infant swings (my DS) and others don’t (my DD). It is hard to generalize about a child that is not here yet. I agree with Sue…for basic infant care the What to Expect book was my bible. But even with that, both my kids were so different in preferences that it usually took trial and error before learning what was best for each of them. My son hated his baby bath…you would have thought we were killing him. Yet my daughter, at the same age LOVED it and giggled throughout. Yet, once he got into the big bathtub he began to love baths while my daughter who will be 3 on Saturday is going through a phase where she hates the water on her face during rinse-off. I can give you one piece of advice that a friend gave me when I was pregnant with my 1st. Don’t start any habit that you are unwilling to continue doing when the child is 2. Whether this is rocking them to sleep, or giving them a pacifier ( and thus having to find it at 2 am). I’m not saying NOT to do them…just be aware that once started, they do continue. Feel free to email me with any questions you have…I’ll be happy to try to answer them, or, if I can’t I’ll be happy to just listen should you need. Marion—–Tampamom to Louis(7) and Erica (3 on Saturday) — Tomorrow is a mystery Yesterday is history Today is a gift…that’s why it is called "the present" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Hi Symynthe: >Congratulations on your new arrival. Is there anything in particular you >were wondering about, or just general baby care? There are some really good >books out there, lets see off the top of my head are What to expect the >first year, Dr. Spock (yes I still like him), Penelope Leach is a very good >children’s doctor and she has written several good books, Dr. Brazelton is >another children’s doctor that has written several good books. That is all >of the books I can think of. >As far as baby care, babies love to be held, swaddled, feed on demand (even >if that means feeding every hour), go to baby every time he cries, this >builds a bond between you and this builds trust from the baby and he will >cry less later on. Relax and trust your instincts. If you need more, please >feel free to email me. BTW, my name is Sue and I have three kids ages 7, 4 >and 3. >Sue B. > Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I >was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I >have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" >less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone >had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? > Thanks, > Symynthe > http://members.tripod.com/~EmalethEmrsn/index.html MY PERSONAL SITE > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/PaganFriends PAGAN MAILING LIST > http://themail.com/ref.htm?ref=415974 FREE EMAIL THAT PAYS!!
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Hi Symynthe! I was a little older when I had my first child(19 years old) and nothing could have perpared me for it. All those sleepless nights, baby cring all the time-first tummy upset. Just remember it does get better. You’ll forget about all the sleepless nights and all that screaming and cring the first time that sweet little child looks up at you, smiles and says Ma-ma when you needed to hear it the most! Good luck and have fun. Don’t forget to buy an exersaucer( I have a evenflo one ) it saved my life. The child can’t go any where in it and still has fun playing with all those toys on it(for ages around 4 months up), it work when you need a little mommy time. Just remember to make sure that you can always see baby while in the exersaucer! Jennifer mom of Matthew(9-3-99) * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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You are going to be told lots of things – sometimes conflicting advice. My advice to you is to thank whoever is giving you the advice (especially Mothers and Mother-in-Laws) and then use or not use the advice as you see fit. If the advice seems useful and right to you, then do it – your instincts are probably your best guide. My other advice? If you’re going to breastfeed, learn to do it lying down so you can sometimes take a nap with the baby. Sleeping with your baby is just a great feeling – and yes, there will be people who will tell you it’s dangerous, since there’s a risk of suffocation.I think if you keep pillows and heavy blankets away from the baby, and don’t sleep with him/her if you are on drugs that could make you sleepy (cold medicine etc.) or alcohol, then an occasional nap together won’t do you or the baby any harm. Heidi
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>Congratulations and remember also that the ninth month of pregnancy was >designed>to make women look FORWARD to going into labor. >–Welmoed
LOL … this is funny, but perhaps not what a first time expectant mommy wants to hear! The advice I give people who ask me is this: Nobody knows your baby like you will. If YOU think something is not just right, don’t let the pediatrician blow you off as a highstrung, nervous mommy. All you need to know at first is hold the baby as much as possible. You cannot spoil an infant. Start reading to the baby before it’s born, and continue to read to your child often. They will calm at the sound of your voice. Don’t talk baby talk … babies learn to talk from listening to you. I had a 18 month old with a 75 (appx) word vocabulary. Count and identify everything … stairs as you walk up or down, babies fingers and toes, feet, arms, eyes, animals you might see. Don’t wait until you think they can understand you to start talking to them. They understand more then we can fathom. Are you considering breastfeeding? If you know somebody with an infant, They would likely be happy to show you how to bathe a baby, or diaper one if you have not been exposed to that. Good luck, you are obviously a very concerned mommy-to-be to come here to ask for advice. You will do fine! Those first few months, most of what they need comes instinctually. Krystal "Life isn’t measured by how many breaths we take but by how many moments that take our breath away" Eat the "treat" in my address to e-mail me.
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> Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay?
Congrats on the coming addition! The very best piece of advice I have for you is something an old nurse told me the night my first was born. I was nursing the baby and it was like 2am. This nurse came in and she held my dd’s hand for a very long time. Then she said, "Just remember that this is the person who will be holding your hand when you die and you will do just fine." It didn’t really sink in at the moment…but that has touched the way I parent more than any other one thing. Good luck! — Maureen Single Mom to Sarah 13, Michael 11, Matthew 7, Rebecca 5 and Adam 3 — Every morning I get miles of smiles — Full time student/Small Business owner http://www.pacificbytes.com/SS/
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Hi Everyone, I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? Thanks, Symynthe http://members.tripod.com/~EmalethEmrsn/index.html MY PERSONAL SITE http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/PaganFriends PAGAN MAILING LIST http://themail.com/ref.htm?ref=415974 FREE EMAIL THAT PAYS!!
Response:
Hi Symynthe: Congratulations on your new arrival. Is there anything in particular you were wondering about, or just general baby care? There are some really good books out there, lets see off the top of my head are What to expect the first year, Dr. Spock (yes I still like him), Penelope Leach is a very good children’s doctor and she has written several good books, Dr. Brazelton is another children’s doctor that has written several good books. That is all of the books I can think of. As far as baby care, babies love to be held, swaddled, feed on demand (even if that means feeding every hour), go to baby every time he cries, this builds a bond between you and this builds trust from the baby and he will cry less later on. Relax and trust your instincts. If you need more, please feel free to email me. BTW, my name is Sue and I have three kids ages 7, 4 and 3. Sue B.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? > Thanks, > Symynthe > http://members.tripod.com/~EmalethEmrsn/index.html MY PERSONAL SITE > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/PaganFriends PAGAN MAILING LIST > http://themail.com/ref.htm?ref=415974 FREE EMAIL THAT PAYS!!
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One of the best pieces of advice I ever got when my first was born was this: "You’ve never been a mom before, but at the same time, this baby’s never HAD a mom before, so he won’t know what to expect either." In other words, my kid wasn’t going to judge me for doing things "wrong" and we would both figure each other out in due time. Congratulations and remember also that the ninth month of pregnancy was designed to make women look FORWARD to going into labor. –Welmoed > Hi Everyone, > I’m Symynthe.. I’m 17, married, and our first child is due April 25th.. I was > just wondering if anyone had any advice on taking care of newborns.. I have > been told lots of things, but just wanted some more people’s opinions and > advice.. My husband and I are trying to get our "parenting philosophy" less > "textbookish", if that makes sense.. And we were just wondering if anyone had > any tips or anything that helped them out, let me know, Okay? > Thanks, > Symynthe > http://members.tripod.com/~EmalethEmrsn/index.html MY PERSONAL SITE > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/PaganFriends PAGAN MAILING LIST > http://themail.com/ref.htm?ref=415974 FREE EMAIL THAT PAYS!!
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