Pure Parents

Question:

Hello, This is only a suggestion, but I had tried the stories and everything else you did, probably when he was to young, but anyway.  What worked is when I would you the bathroom I would bring my son with me and let him sit on his potty seat.  At first he sat with clothes on lid down.  Then he went to lid up. Finally he would take his pants off.  Never worked.  But one day when I was changing his clothes he ran into the bathroom sat down and went. After that I would let him run around naked. or just in his underware and watched for signs.  Tryin to hard, was to hard on me and him.  So I bascially let him gop at his own pace. Good Luck Sherry

Response:

My theory with my boy was that if he didn’t do things by the time he was 15 I would start to worry. At 3 and 1/4 after spending a couple of months in a day care situation where he was one of three children that wasn’t trained he woke up one sunday morning and said " I want to go poopy on the poty." He hasn’t had an accident since. No muss, no fuss, no arguments, no problem.

Response:

> Another child at 3.5 is >completely trained but refuses to use the potty, and says he will give >up diapers on his 4th birthday.

This reminds me of my nephew.  When he turned 3 his mom said no more diapers.  He said "I’m one."  Later that year he was told he was going to start preschool, he said "not til I’m four". Nyoka (who hasn’t started training, but whose son we pee on command in the tub last week)

Response:

>    While we’re on the subject of potty training, does anyone have >any suggestions on preventing bedwetting?  My 3 yr old daughter is great >during the day, but can’t/won’t hold her bladder or go to the toilet at >night (we wash her sheets almost every day!).  pull ups keep the bed dry, >but I want her to actually use the toilet!  Any suggestions?

It is perfectly normal for a child of three to still be wet at night. Some NORMAL children are unable to stay dry at night until 6 or 7. If you can afford the pull-ups, save yourself some Tylenol, and give her time.

Response:

After getting two kids through this the hard way, by the time my third came around I just didn’t have the energy to get him out of diapers.  So, I just waited until summer and let the kid run naked in the backyard.  His little potty followed him where he went, and he gradually got the idea himeself.  By the end of summer he had it under control and I was so much more relaxed than the time I tried to train my first, in the winter, when he turned 2 (like the books all said). If you are trying to do this when your kids still have to be bundled up for warmth, you are working way to hard.  Even if you can’t let them run naked, a pair of shorts is a lot easier for little hands to deal with than pants, and zippers, and jackets, and ….. Just something to consider, Mary

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->When my daughter was 21 months old, my cousin was the first to say, "My >GOD, you haven’t got her potty trained yet!?"  So we began reading as many >books and articles on the topic, and also took my cousin’s advice that >"big girl panties" was all it took to train his daughter at 16 months, and >he also said it took about a week. >I mean to tell you, she is now 31 months old, and we are still trying.  We >have tried EVERYTHING!  "It’s Potty Time" video worked for about a week, > To me it looks as if this is really turned in to a sort of battle. > I think I would have started with diapers again for a while (IE some > months). > If she hasn’t started to want to go to the toilet by then (my son > never wanted to see a potty), I would have put a date well in advance. > It is nice to choose a date that she will remember. It can be comeing > back from a holiday, the day you will go to the zoo or anything like > that.  Talk about it as if that is the day there will be no more > diapers, and what you will do then.  (That she will were proper > underwear, and what will happen if she wets them-  they will be wet > and uncomfortable and they will smell ).  Also find a thing she really > apreciates.  Use it as a bribe.  ( for instance: "When you have been > so clever that you have been to the toilet four times, we’ll go down > to the boockstore and you can choose a boock all by yourself"). > This worked well with my son.  He didn’t even want to sit down on > either a potty or a toilet.  After two "accidents"  the first day, he > was totally clean night and day. > I don’t think "keep trying" is a good solution.  It only gives the kid > and you a unberable stress.  If it dosen’t work the first time,  wait > a few months, and try again.  All kids are different.  She will be dry > before starting school anyhow.:-)

        While we’re on the subject of potty training, does anyone have any suggestions on preventing bedwetting?  My 3 yr old daughter is great during the day, but can’t/won’t hold her bladder or go to the toilet at night (we wash her sheets almost every day!).  pull ups keep the bed dry, but I want her to actually use the toilet!  Any suggestions?

Response:

My advice here is to chill out and wait until the child is ready.  My husband and I were ready to pull our hair out because my daughter still wasn’t trained by her 3rd birthday.  But 3 months later it was like a light went on in her brain and she just started going to the potty like an old pro.  We did nothing different, she was just ready ! She still alternates between the toilet and the potty but she hasn’t had an accident yet and we’re going on 2 months now.  We still have her in a pull-up at night but she’s been starting to wake up dry so hopefully we can drop this soon. Good luck. Debbie

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > When my daughter was 21 months old, my cousin was the first to say, "My > GOD, you haven’t got her potty trained yet!?"  So we began reading as many > books and articles on the topic, and also took my cousin’s advice that > "big girl panties" was all it took to train his daughter at 16 months, and > he also said it took about a week. > I mean to tell you, she is now 31 months old, and we are still trying.  We > have tried EVERYTHING!  "It’s Potty Time" video worked for about a week, > "big girl Pooh-bear panties" didn’t work at all.  When we tried setting > her on the potty every hour, she threw a fit.  We took the advice of using > a "Third person" timer, which she always like to set and hear "ding", but > she still refused to go.  Pull-ups are a waste of money, because they > don’t "feel-wet" to her.  One article said to quit the training  for a > month, and get a new start.  That was a big mistake.  Shortly thereafter > we read another article that said NEVER give up.  We put her in cotton > training pants now, and we go through 2-6+ pairs a day.  We will try to > put her on the potty, and she will insist she doesn’t have to go.  Five > minutes later, she will wet herself. It isn’t that she is delayed mentally > by any means.  At two she could recite the alphabet and count to 5.  Now > she can count to 15, and know shapes and colors.  She can speak clearly in > full sentences, up to 15+ word sentences.  So my question to the world is > WHAT SHOULD WE DO NOW!?

First of all RELAX!  Kids seem to train when they are ready to train, period.  Your problems seemed to began when your cousin told you his child was already trained.  All kids are different.  There are some things that you can do to help out but my guess is the best thing you an do is relax.  Your daughter sounds quite bright.  I bet that she’s picking up on your anxiety and it may be rewarding for her to have that power over you.   This is what we did to train our daughter.  We bought an inexpensive gumball machine and every time she went on the potty, she got a gumball.  Needless to say, she didn