Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have not been reading many threads on this topic but I feel > like responding to what Hillyer added. When I was growing up I had a very > strict Father. He never struck me nor spoke down to me. He was just a > very authoritative person to me. He expected us to do as he said without > question. I was’nt the strong personality type so I never spoke back. I > know he did this with good intentions and really loved and cared for us, > but it did cause great problems for me growing up. I was never allowed to > think for myself, to know a real reason why, to express how I really > felt. As a result it was hard to say no in certain situations as an early > teen. Alot of the things he was trying to protect me from were done > anyway because I was not strong enough to say no. It was very hard for me > to stand up for myself and feel like I was worth something for a long > time. I was able to work things out for myself and am now a pretty > confident person. I have three kids now and no way will I do the same to > them. I want them to understand why they must do certain things. We as > parents are responsible for teaching our children many things, and this > can be done in other ways other than "You do it because I said so". So > ask yourself this question, when your child goes out on their own in this > greedy world, do you want a person who is confident or someone who is > empty inside? > [*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*] > Lisa Jones
Lisa, I can relate totally to what you said. I had a similar experience with my mother, whom I love, and whom I’m sure only meant well. However, the only backbone I have acquired has been in defiance of her, who apparently wanted (and probably still wants) to make me over in her image. I’m not a total wimp, but I have to tell you that I’ve sure worked hard for every shred of assertiveness that I now have, and I’m still far behind the people I know who can just speak up without going through an hour of self-doubt first. At some point I think you can break (or at least severely cripple) the will of a child, just like you break the will of a horse. You get a nice, docile-acting creature whose only outward behaviour to the authority figure is polite and measured. But a child is not a horse, and the child will, one day, have to go out in the world where there is no authority figure but herself. If she can’t make an independent decision, whose interests have you served? –Margot Ferguson
Response:
>> You authoritarian types get kinkier and kinkier. Are you some kind of > put on? I discovered a pedophile posting in the step-parents newsgroup, > claiming to want to discuss spanking. I don’t know if I hope you’re for > real or just some pervert, it’s sick either way. I wonder if we’re > being trolled here. > Ginny >You know, you people are so fired. You need to get out more. Can’t you >take anything at face vaule anymore?
I think she was taking it at face value that you and your spouse soap each others mouths, spank each other and put yourselves in time out. I’d like to be a fly on the wall at your dinner table 
I’m strict! I’ll be the first to admit >it. I will NOT be one of these parents on Oprah crying "my cild is out >of control" In MY house it’s MY rules!! PERIOD!!! If you don’t like >it, leave. Awwwwww but you’re a minor, you can’t leave. >I’m a strict person, no doubt about it! I am going to save my kids from >a life they won’t want.
By showing them that life now? It’s going to sting along way, but in the end, >it will work!!
What is strict? Do your children have the opportunity to develop as individuals, or are you just creating puppets? If you are creating puppets, either they will stay puppets or they’ll rebel — either way, you haven’t created healthy adults. But, heck, maybe they’ll have the same kind of fun around the dinner table that you’re having now … and the cycle continues …
Response:
does anybody really no if the soap they are using a is a none toxic???? are you using the real soap or does that really matter when it comes to being toxic??? i think you parents should put soap in your own mouth try it out and enjoy the taste that last 3 or more days since some of you parents are giving it to your child and see how you like it…. i have never had the soap treatment and i would never ever do it to my children my husband had it once when he was little and he hated it i think if you respect your children they will come to respect you and love you to…. but when you shame them they come to shame you to Anita mom to Courtney(9-29-92) Sean(4-11-94) Stephanie (4-13-96) >I agree with everything LaVonne Has said. >And for those of you who do it, try this. The next time >you say something you probably shouldn’t have, put a small >piece of soap in your own mouth, while saying to yourself >the things you tell your child. >Pay attention to how you feel. >Rhonda
– Please edit this signature file. * JDS Mail & News
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> You authoritarian types get kinkier and kinkier. Are you some kind of > put on? I discovered a pedophile posting in the step-parents newsgroup, > claiming to want to discuss spanking. I don’t know if I hope you’re for > real or just some pervert, it’s sick either way. I wonder if we’re > being trolled here. > Ginny > You know, you people are so fired. You need to get out more. Can’t you > take anything at face vaule anymore? My reasoning behind this logic is > that you don’t want your child to experience anything that you don’t > already know what it’s like! I’m strict! I’ll be the first to admit > it. I will NOT be one of these parents on Oprah crying "my cild is out > of control" In MY house it’s MY rules!! PERIOD!!! If you don’t like > it, leave. Awwwwww but you’re a minor, you can’t leave. > I’m a strict person, no doubt about it! I am going to save my kids from > a life they won’t want. It’s going to sting along way, but in the end, > it will work!!
I have not been reading many threads on this topic but I feel like responding to what Hillyer added. When I was growing up I had a very strict Father. He never struck me nor spoke down to me. He was just a very authoritative person to me. He expected us to do as he said without question. I was’nt the strong personality type so I never spoke back. I know he did this with good intentions and really loved and cared for us, but it did cause great problems for me growing up. I was never allowed to think for myself, to know a real reason why, to express how I really felt. As a result it was hard to say no in certain situations as an early teen. Alot of the things he was trying to protect me from were done anyway because I was not strong enough to say no. It was very hard for me to stand up for myself and feel like I was worth something for a long time. I was able to work things out for myself and am now a pretty confident person. I have three kids now and no way will I do the same to them. I want them to understand why they must do certain things. We as parents are responsible for teaching our children many things, and this can be done in other ways other than "You do it because I said so". So ask yourself this question, when your child goes out on their own in this greedy world, do you want a person who is confident or someone who is empty inside? [*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*] Lisa Jones
Response:
> I agree with everything LaVonne Has said. > And for those of you who do it, try this. The next time > you say something you probably shouldn’t have, put a small > piece of soap in your own mouth, while saying to yourself > the things you tell your child. > Pay attention to how you feel. > Rhonda
Well said Rhonda. Regards, Linda —
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Laura: I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I thought mouth-soaping was in some way pleasurable. I think its humiliating and unforgivable. Sorry if you got the wrong idea…. Rhonda
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > stuff snipped for brevity… > > I use it for lying, disrespect, and fighting with a sibling. > > The arguments against this method are unjustified, ridiculous, and > > false. The arguments for this method are overwhelmingly positive. > > Can anyone legitimately disagree? > Do you know what soap is made of? I don’t. I don’t think it is a good > idea to put something in a child’s mouth if you don’t know what the > ingredients are. Soap is not made for human consumption. I’m sure if you > called the soap company they would tell you not to eat it or put it in > your mouth. Maybe your kids have survived it so far, but can you really > prove that it’s a totally safe thing to do?
Thank you, Elaine. Soap is not made to be put in mouths — it’s made for cleansing — literally, not figuratively. It’s shaming, deameaning and potentially physically dangerous. There are ways to teach and discipliine children — this is not one!!! > ….more stuff snipped… > I use this punishment. I really do not like to do it. When I tell my > little boy that he will get his mouth washed out, he starts crying. He > crys and sobs and begs throughout the whole washing. He really hates > it. I know I have to do it. > Please, other mothers and fathers out there, what can I do so that > my little boy doesn’t react so badly? It really breaks my heart. I > cry and sob with him as I do it. I really hate doing this. I do > not want to do it. > …more snipped… > Don’t do it then already! Send him to his room, deny privileges, > whatever. There are so many other ways you can discipline a child, why > bother with such a grossed-out method?
This poster seemed to feel terrible about what she was doing to her child, and yet was looking for validity and confirmation. Your answer was so simple, yet so perfect — don’t do it! LaVonne
Response:
> > So would wearing a rubber glove, giving your child a fork, and then > making him/her put it in the socket. That would work a lot better than > mouthsoaping, have the same mental impact, and less of a chance for them > being seriously hurt. > What are you, some sort of sicko? Hey, why put the kid in an electric > chair!
No, I was saying that this would give the same affect as washing a child’s mouth out with soap. I in no way think either of the two is right.
Response:
> You authoritarian types get kinkier and kinkier. Are you some kind of > put on? I discovered a pedophile posting in the step-parents newsgroup, > claiming to want to discuss spanking. I don’t know if I hope you’re for > real or just some pervert, it’s sick either way. I wonder if we’re > being trolled here. > Ginny
You know, you people are so fired. You need to get out more. Can’t you take anything at face vaule anymore? My reasoning behind this logic is that you don’t want your child to experience anything that you don’t already know what it’s like! I’m strict! I’ll be the first to admit it. I will NOT be one of these parents on Oprah crying "my cild is out of control" In MY house it’s MY rules!! PERIOD!!! If you don’t like it, leave. Awwwwww but you’re a minor, you can’t leave. I’m a strict person, no doubt about it! I am going to save my kids from a life they won’t want. It’s going to sting along way, but in the end, it will work!!
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I agree with everything LaVonne Has said. > And for those of you who do it, try this. The next time > you say something you probably shouldn’t have, put a small > piece of soap in your own mouth, while saying to yourself > the things you tell your child. > Pay attention to how you feel. > Rhonda > I have. In fact, we have not imposed any discipline on our child that > we haven’t done to ourselves. Mouthsoaping, spanking, corner time, > lines, whatever! It’s been done to us (as adults), and I will be the > first to admit that a mouthsoaping is unpleasent, but it works!
How effective can it be if you have to keep doing these things? Once or twice in a lifetime should do it. Besides, whatever "discipline" you decide to accept for yourselves as adults, it is quite different imposing it on a helpless, dependent child. I suspect that for adults, there is an element of pleasure in submitting to corporal punishment. If not, then perhaps you should take other steps to shore up your own self-discipline, or reconsider just what you think your offenses are that precipitate this form of discipline. Either way, it’s not my cup of tea. And if you need to respond concerning your adult punishment, please do so by direct email to me and not on the newsgroup. This is not an invitation because I really don’t care to hear about it or discuss it, but I don’t want to change this NG into a branch of "alt.sex.*". Laura
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I agree with everything LaVonne Has said. > And for those of you who do it, try this. The next time > you say something you probably shouldn’t have, put a small > piece of soap in your own mouth, while saying to yourself > the things you tell your child. > Pay attention to how you feel. > Rhonda >I have. In fact, we have not imposed any discipline on our child that >we haven’t done to ourselves. Mouthsoaping, spanking, corner time, >lines, whatever! It’s been done to us (as adults), and I will be the >first to admit that a mouthsoaping is unpleasent, but it works!
You authoritarian types get kinkier and kinkier. Are you some kind of put on? I discovered a pedophile posting in the step-parents newsgroup, claiming to want to discuss spanking. I don’t know if I hope you’re for real or just some pervert, it’s sick either way. I wonder if we’re being trolled here. Ginny
Response:
> So would wearing a rubber glove, giving your child a fork, and then > making him/her put it in the socket. That would work a lot better than > mouthsoaping, have the same mental impact, and less of a chance for them > being seriously hurt.
What are you, some sort of sicko? Hey, why put the kid in an electric chair!
Response:
> I agree with everything LaVonne Has said. > And for those of you who do it, try this. The next time > you say something you probably shouldn’t have, put a small > piece of soap in your own mouth, while saying to yourself > the things you tell your child. > Pay attention to how you feel. > Rhonda
I have. In fact, we have not imposed any discipline on our child that we haven’t done to ourselves. Mouthsoaping, spanking, corner time, lines, whatever! It’s been done to us (as adults), and I will be the first to admit that a mouthsoaping is unpleasent, but it works!
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I agree with everything LaVonne Has said. > And for those of you who do it, try this. The next time > you say something you probably shouldn’t have, put a small > piece of soap in your own mouth, while saying to yourself > the things you tell your child. > Pay attention to how you feel. > Rhonda > I have. In fact, we have not imposed any discipline on our child that > we haven’t done to ourselves. Mouthsoaping, spanking, corner time, > lines, whatever! It’s been done to us (as adults), and I will be the > first to admit that a mouthsoaping is unpleasent, but it works!
So would wearing a rubber glove, giving your child a fork, and then making him/her put it in the socket. That would work a lot better than mouthsoaping, have the same mental impact, and less of a chance for them being seriously hurt.
Response:
I agree with everything LaVonne Has said. And for those of you who do it, try this. The next time you say something you probably shouldn’t have, put a small piece of soap in your own mouth, while saying to yourself the things you tell your child. Pay attention to how you feel. Rhonda
Response:
> > I agree with Judy Donovan. I, too, am not sparing with > soap. Sure my kids hate it. It is an example of a method > I use this punishment. I really do not like to do it. When I tell my > little boy that he will get his mouth washed out, he starts crying. He > crys and sobs and begs throughout the whole washing. He really hates > it. I know I have to do it.
No, Marge, you do not have to do it. It’s not the law, and no one is "making" you treat your child this way. All you have to do is watch your little boy’s reaction and you will know why you should stop. > Please, other mothers and fathers out there, what can I do so that > my little boy doesn’t react so badly? It really breaks my heart. I > cry and sob with him as I do it. I really hate doing this. I do > not want to do it.
So stop. You have the power to make that choice. > I do not shame him. But, he acts like he’s been shamed. He feels so > bad about himself afterwards. Does anyone have a child who acts the > same way after a soaping of the mouth?
You do not want to shame him? What exactly do you think you are doing if not shaming him? Do you honestly think you are treating him with respect? How would you feel if you were the recipient of this treatment! > Is there some way to explain to him that he should not feel > ashamed? > I really need some help with this.
When you treat him with disrespect, when you treat him with shame, there is no other logical way for him to react — other than with anger and defiance as he gets older and bigger. It is difficult to explain to a little child he should not feel shamed after treated in such a shaming and demeaning manner. Yes you do need help, Marge. You need help to stop this treatment of your child and learn positive, effective, loving, respectful methods of discplining your little boy. > I do strongly believe in washing a child’s mouth out with soap. It > has to be done. He has to learn good manners and respect. He has > to be trained to obey.
But instead of learning manners and respect, he is learning shame. And you feel terrible, because you do not want him to feel this way. Children learn manners and respect when people around them treat each other with respect. Children learn respect by being treated with respect. I suggest getting and reading some good parenting books to help you understand what is appropriate to expect of children at different ages, and to learn alternative, positive, respectful parenting. Elizabety Crary’s "Without Spanking or Spoiling" Jean Illsley Clarke’s "Your Child’s Self Esteem" and any book by Thomas Gordon on parenting would be excellent places to start. I’d also suggest enrolling in parenting or early childhood family education programs in your community. This will also provide you with information about young children and parenting, as well as a support group of other parents. Good luck, LaVonne
Response:
stuff snipped for brevity… > I use it for lying, disrespect, and fighting with a sibling. > The arguments against this method are unjustified, ridiculous, and > false. The arguments for this method are overwhelmingly positive. > Can anyone legitimately disagree?
Do you know what soap is made of? I don’t. I don’t think it is a good idea to put something in a child’s mouth if you don’t know what the ingredients are. Soap is not made for human consumption. I’m sure if you called the soap company they would tell you not to eat it or put it in your mouth. Maybe your kids have survived it so far, but can you really prove that it’s a totally safe thing to do? ….more stuff snipped… > I use this punishment. I really do not like to do it. When I tell my > little boy that he will get his mouth washed out, he starts crying. He > crys and sobs and begs throughout the whole washing. He really hates > it. I know I have to do it. > Please, other mothers and fathers out there, what can I do so that > my little boy doesn’t react so badly? It really breaks my heart. I > cry and sob with him as I do it. I really hate doing this. I do > not want to do it.
…more snipped… Don’t do it then already! Send him to his room, deny privileges, whatever. There are so many other ways you can discipline a child, why bother with such a grossed-out method? Just MHO, Elaine
Response:
You train dogs to obey. Are these the same people who were so against the soldiers in Vietnam accused of atrocities and claimed "I was just following orders." For those parents who insist on washing a child’s mouth out with "soap" (it is really detergent) give the poison control center a call to find out what the procedure is for a child who has ingested some. Sharon
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> I agree with Judy Donovan.
*Snip* Please stop writing to me! For some reason(this is weird…you CAN email me if you know why this happened!)Susan posted with MY email address. I have never even looked at this thread and do not want to talk about mouth soaping. -Becky
Response:
>I agree with Judy Donovan. I, too, am not sparing with >soap. Sure my kids hate it. It is an example of a method >that is very effective and is very light.
Very light? Poisoning a child is "light"?? I’d rate mouth-soaping at the same level as shaving a child’s head, making them eat from plates on the floor- Degrading, disgusting, and potentially physically and mentally harmful. >A child will not soon forget a good soaping of the mouth.
A child will not soon forget having their arm twisted up behind their back, or being whipped with a belt. That doesn’t mean that physical abuse is good, just that it’s effective. >LaVonne does not get it. She does not explain why she is against >a good washing of the mouth with soap. I know from experience >how effective soap in the mouth is.
And if the child happens to go into anaphylactic shock and die, I guess that really shows how effective itis? >My kids are very well behaved. A verbal reminder of the soap is >enough 99% of the time.
They’re well behaved for the same reason prisoners or slaves are well behaved- because they’re afraid of physical abuse if they are out of line. >I have order in my house. I have some degree of control over my kids.
I have some degree of control over my pet dog too, because he knows if he misbehaves, I’ll whup him good. In order for everyone to live together so that everyone >can profit from our home life, there needs to be some order. >I use a soft toothbrush and a washcloth. I make sure to have a >lot of good lather. Sure, my kids hate it totally and completely. >But, they really learn. Soap teaches.
Soap COWLS. It BREAKS their spirit. >I use it for lying, disrespect, and fighting with a sibling. >The arguments against this method are unjustified, ridiculous, and >false. The arguments for this method are overwhelmingly positive. >Can anyone legitimately disagree?
The only difference between mouth soaping and physically beating them is that only the latter leaves _physical_ scars. >Let’s hear from those parents who find such great success >with this method. Let’s enlighten people as to the great worth >of this method.
– David Richards Ripco, since Nineteen-Eighty-Three My opinions are my own, Public Access in Chicago But they are available for rental Shell/SLIP/PPP/UUCP/ISDN/Leased
Response:
How appropriate that this stuff was written on Friday the 13th. You people scare me. I would never, never consider doing something that is so cruel. Sorry, but I don’t need that much control over my child. Of course your child feels shamed and feels bad about himself. How bad he must be that the one person who should take care of him is doing such a terrible thing to him. Children often blame themselves for the bad things that others do to them. Tell me folks, did your parents do this to you? If not, then by all means, take a good swig of some dial liquid or a bite out of any bar of soap. This stuff is for EXTERNAL use, and can be toxic. Why would you want to poison your child into submission? There are many books on effective non-abusive forms of discipline, not just "time-out". Please run to your local library, check a few out and read them. Laura – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I agree with Judy Donovan. I, too, am not sparing with > soap. Sure my kids hate it. It is an example of a method > that is very effective and is very light. > A child will not soon forget a good soaping of the mouth. What > parents ask for is small. Kids need to have limits set for > them. There need to be consequences. For some behaviors, time > outs are not as effective. > LaVonne does not get it. She does not explain why she is against > a good washing of the mouth with soap. I know from experience > how effective soap in the mouth is. > My kids are very well behaved. A verbal reminder of the soap is > enough 99% of the time. > I have order in my house. I have some degree of control over my > kids. In order for everyone to live together so that everyone > can profit from our home life, there needs to be some order. > I use a soft toothbrush and a washcloth. I make sure to have a > lot of good lather. Sure, my kids hate it totally and completely. > But, they really learn. Soap teaches. > I use it for lying, disrespect, and fighting with a sibling. > The arguments against this method are unjustified, ridiculous, and > false. The arguments for this method are overwhelmingly positive. > Can anyone legitimately disagree? > Let’s hear from those parents who find such great success > with this method. Let’s enlighten people as to the great worth > of this method. > I use this punishment. I really do not like to do it. When I tell my > little boy that he will get his mouth washed out, he starts crying. He > crys and sobs and begs throughout the whole washing. He really hates > it. I know I have to do it. > Please, other mothers and fathers out there, what can I do so that > my little boy doesn’t react so badly? It really breaks my heart. I > cry and sob with him as I do it. I really hate doing this. I do > not want to do it. > I do not shame him. But, he acts like he’s been shamed. He feels so > bad about himself afterwards. Does anyone have a child who acts the > same way after a soaping of the mouth? > Is there some way to explain to him that he should not feel > ashamed? > I really need some help with this. > I do strongly believe in washing a child’s mouth out with soap. It > has to be done. He has to learn good manners and respect. He has > to be trained to obey.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I agree with Judy Donovan. I, too, am not sparing with > soap. Sure my kids hate it. It is an example of a method > that is very effective and is very light. > A child will not soon forget a good soaping of the mouth. What > parents ask for is small. Kids need to have limits set for > them. There need to be consequences. For some behaviors, time > outs are not as effective. > LaVonne does not get it. She does not explain why she is against > a good washing of the mouth with soap. I know from experience > how effective soap in the mouth is. > My kids are very well behaved. A verbal reminder of the soap is > enough 99% of the time. > I have order in my house. I have some degree of control over my > kids. In order for everyone to live together so that everyone > can profit from our home life, there needs to be some order. > I use a soft toothbrush and a washcloth. I make sure to have a > lot of good lather. Sure, my kids hate it totally and completely. > But, they really learn. Soap teaches. > I use it for lying, disrespect, and fighting with a sibling. > The arguments against this method are unjustified, ridiculous, and > false. The arguments for this method are overwhelmingly positive. > Can anyone legitimately disagree? > Let’s hear from those parents who find such great success > with this method. Let’s enlighten people as to the great worth > of this method. >I use this punishment. I really do not like to do it. When I tell my >little boy that he will get his mouth washed out, he starts crying. He >crys and sobs and begs throughout the whole washing. He really hates >it. I know I have to do it. >Please, other mothers and fathers out there, what can I do so that >my little boy doesn’t react so badly? It really breaks my heart. I >cry and sob with him as I do it. I really hate doing this. I do >not want to do it. >I do not shame him. But, he acts like he’s been shamed. He feels so >bad about himself afterwards. Does anyone have a child who acts the >same way after a soaping of the mouth? >Is there some way to explain to him that he should not feel >ashamed? >I really need some help with this. >I do strongly believe in washing a child’s mouth out with soap. It >has to be done. He has to learn good manners and respect. He has >to be trained to obey.
Welcome to the Lt. William Bligh school of child motivation (Of HMS Bounty fame). Al Moore
Response:
>> I agree with Judy Donovan. I, too, am not sparing with > soap. Sure my kids hate it. It is an example of a method > that is very effective and is very light. >I use this punishment. I really do not like to do it. When I tell my >little boy that he will get his mouth washed out, he starts crying. He >crys and sobs and begs throughout the whole washing. He really hates >it. I know I have to do it. >Please, other mothers and fathers out there, what can I do so that >my little boy doesn’t react so badly? It really breaks my heart. I >cry and sob with him as I do it. I really hate doing this. I do >not want to do it.
I have no hope that any of you will change your ways. I am curious as to what outcomes children raised in this manner have. Authoritarian style child rearing has a very bad reputation, and the one study I’ve seen backs this. Permissive parenting is not well regarded, but there is a middle road that involves more creative problem solving and treats the children with respect while setting reasonable limits. This so called "authoritative" parenting style was shown to have the best outcome, long-term, for children. It is incredible to me that some of you are so barbaric. I have well behaved children, who don’t lie, swear or do anything that this would be appropriate. You seem simple minded to me, you have no other thoughts? I assume that the spanker-soap-sleepoutside-dinner-deprivers feel they must defend these rather inhuman child rearing methods. Please know that to some you seem like some perverse sado-masochistic cult. I suggest the book "Helping Children with Common Problems" as a viable alternative to this torture, which seems to demean the souls of children. Lying: all people lie. Children lie for one of two reasons, to avoid trouble (getting caught at some transgression) or to inflate their sense of self worth. Look to the cause. Perhaps you set limits in a capricious way, so they try to lie their way out, or your punishments are so demeaning that they risk further misbehavior to avoid them. They may also lie if you demean them, to attempt to make themselves appear better. Swearing: All people in all cultures swear at times. Even grannies "oh sugar" serves this purpose. My children understand that children will swear around children and adults around adults. They never swear around me, I never (hardly ever) swear around them. None of them does it to try to appear more grown-up, as we treat all with respect. All you will do is create resentment and your children will not trust you. Ginny
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I agree with Judy Donovan. I, too, am not sparing with > soap. Sure my kids hate it. It is an example of a method > that is very effective and is very light. > A child will not soon forget a good soaping of the mouth. What > parents ask for is small. Kids need to have limits set for > them. There need to be consequences. For some behaviors, time > outs are not as effective. > LaVonne does not get it. She does not explain why she is against > a good washing of the mouth with soap. I know from experience > how effective soap in the mouth is. > My kids are very well behaved. A verbal reminder of the soap is > enough 99% of the time. > I have order in my house. I have some degree of control over my > kids. In order for everyone to live together so that everyone > can profit from our home life, there needs to be some order. > I use a soft toothbrush and a washcloth. I make sure to have a > lot of good lather. Sure, my kids hate it totally and completely. > But, they really learn. Soap teaches. > I use it for lying, disrespect, and fighting with a sibling. > The arguments against this method are unjustified, ridiculous, and > false. The arguments for this method are overwhelmingly positive. > Can anyone legitimately disagree? > Let’s hear from those parents who find such great success > with this method. Let’s enlighten people as to the great worth > of this method.
I use this punishment. I really do not like to do it. When I tell my little boy that he will get his mouth washed out, he starts crying. He crys and sobs and begs throughout the whole washing. He really hates it. I know I have to do it. Please, other mothers and fathers out there, what can I do so that my little boy doesn’t react so badly? It really breaks my heart. I cry and sob with him as I do it. I really hate doing this. I do not want to do it. I do not shame him. But, he acts like he’s been shamed. He feels so bad about himself afterwards. Does anyone have a child who acts the same way after a soaping of the mouth? Is there some way to explain to him that he should not feel ashamed? I really need some help with this. I do strongly believe in washing a child’s mouth out with soap. It has to be done. He has to learn good manners and respect. He has to be trained to obey.
Response:
I agree with Judy Donovan. I, too, am not sparing with soap. Sure my kids hate it. It is an example of a method that is very effective and is very light. A child will not soon forget a good soaping of the mouth. What parents ask for is small. Kids need to have limits set for them. There need to be consequences. For some behaviors, time outs are not as effective. LaVonne does not get it. She does not explain why she is against a good washing of the mouth with soap. I know from experience how effective soap in the mouth is. My kids are very well behaved. A verbal reminder of the soap is enough 99% of the time. I have order in my house. I have some degree of control over my kids. In order for everyone to live together so that everyone can profit from our home life, there needs to be some order. I use a soft toothbrush and a washcloth. I make sure to have a lot of good lather. Sure, my kids hate it totally and completely. But, they really learn. Soap teaches. I use it for lying, disrespect, and fighting with a sibling. The arguments against this method are unjustified, ridiculous, and false. The arguments for this method are overwhelmingly positive. Can anyone legitimately disagree? Let’s hear from those parents who find such great success with this method. Let’s enlighten people as to the great worth of this method.
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