Pure Parents

Question:

Hi Mike, Although your motivation behind this post is clear, the conclusions seem a bit far-reaching and problematic as well. In addition to unconditional love (which truly is essential), children need limits, and limits need to be enforced by healthy consequences to inappropriate behaviors.  This is also a form of love.  In fact, I believe a lack of healthy limit setting is also abusive, since a child raised without limits will in all likelihood grow up without an understanding of how to integrate into larger society, and will therefore almost certainly suffer enormously. In terms of heterosexuals and homosexuals, I don’t think it is helpful or accurate to hold a group responsible for the actions of some of the individuals within it.  There are also those in the gay and lesbian community who are abusive.  This is not just a heterosexual issue. Finally, you sound like you’ve come a long way in dealing with your own abuse.  And your desire to give love to any children you might have is admirable.  You might want to take some parenting classes however before you take the step of having a child, since your parental role-model was clearly so dysfunctional.  There are better examples to follow and tried-and-true parenting methodologies for both heterosexual and gay and lesbian parents which you might find very helpful. Best of luck to you, — Hugh Simmons, CSW http://www.hughsimmons.com – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >First of all, before I continue, I want to state that I was physically >abused by my father as a child, and because of it, I decided I did not want >to be anything like him, and chose another direction in my life. Recently I >have come to the conclusion that I think I would have been a good parent, >and have begun reconsidering some conclusions I made based on my father’s >own style of parenting. >I live in the upstairs apartment of my father’s house these days, and we get >along okay, although he still has never apologized for using physical >violence on a child. I doubt it will ever happen, but I think that this is >his problem, and I fear that this will turn out to come back at him some way >in the end. >I continue. First, the solution; >Just give the children what they want, and what they want is the >unconditional love of their parents, and what they want is to be taught love >by their parents. They don’t want to experience hate and pain, and they >don’t want to be taught hate and pain, they just want love. Give them the >all the love you can give them and all the love they want, they’ll get >enough pain on their own in their life. >Now, the problem; >All the problems in the world, and I mean ALL the problems in the world, can >be traced back to irresponsible reproduction and child >abuse/abandonment/neglect/molestation by heterosexual parents. >And then they try to blame the problems which they themselves have caused on >other things, like economics, drug abuse, homosexuality, etc., etc., ad >nauseum, until they feel better about the crimes against the human race >which they themselves have committed, under the banner and permission of >their false belief systems. >And then they try to pass laws and restrict the freedoms of other people on >whom they tried to blame the problems of the world, when they were the cause >of the problems in the first place. >The only people who will deny this are the heterosexuals and parents of the >world. The only people who will deny this are those who are they themselves >the problem. >To paraphrase Keanu Reeves’ character "Todd" in the movie Parenthood; "You >need a license to hunt, you need a license to drive, hell, you need a >license to catch a damn fish. But any butt-headed asshole can have a child." >Ain’t that the truth? In these times of rampant unlawful licensing, perhaps >we should license parenthood? >Yes, the heterosexuals and parents have failed the children of the world all >throughout history, don’t you think that it is time to give the bisexuals >and homosexuals a chance to see what they can contribute to the world with >their lifestyle and their ideas? >No, the heterosexuals and the parents will just keep on fostering their >false belief systems and their irresponsible reproduction and child >abuse/abandonment/neglect/molestation on the children of the world, call it >human nature, and continue to shift the blame onto the heads of their own >innocent children. >Love, peace and freedom for all people, >Mike >Have you had a new idea today? >How about love, peace and freedom for ALL people? >http://www.universalway.org

Response:

As far as I am concerned, children are smarter than parents, because they haven’t yet been indoctrinated to society as their parents have. If you birth them naturally, do not circumcise them, hold them when they cry, feed them healthily, give them love and teach them love, and teach them basic concepts as to how to treat other people (do unto others is simple and effective), then children will develop their own limits. As for my own parenting, I have given my advice to my sister (no, not "given," "terrorized"), and she has told me she has followed much of it in raising her child (my niece). I think that Kristen (my niece) is the proof of my parenting theories in action, to a degree, because I would give my child more love and more freedom than my sister. I’d also feed them ginseng and bee pollen at a very early age (those who know about them understand what that would do). Take a look at Kristen at; http://www.universalway.org/yourhost.html Love, peace and freedom for all people, Mike Have you had a new idea today? How about love, peace and freedom for ALL people? http://www.universalway.org

Response:

Seems to me that if people are abusing/abandoning/harming/beating…etc. etc. their children it IS their problem.  Whether they are hetero, homo, or bi.  If you know its wrong to sexually, physically, or verbally abuse someone and do it anyway, you need to blame yourself.  Not your parents and not heterosexual people for crying out loud.  People need to stand up and take responsibility for their actions.  You said you don’t want to be anything like your father.  That sounds like a good choice to me.  But IF you do have children and IF you abuse them, would it be your fathers fault or yours? M. Yokeley – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >First of all, before I continue, I want to state that I was physically >abused by my father as a child, and because of it, I decided I did not want >to be anything like him, and chose another direction in my life. Recently I >have come to the conclusion that I think I would have been a good parent, >and have begun reconsidering some conclusions I made based on my father’s >own style of parenting. >I live in the upstairs apartment of my father’s house these days, and we get >along okay, although he still has never apologized for using physical >violence on a child. I doubt it will ever happen, but I think that this is >his problem, and I fear that this will turn out to come back at him some way >in the end. >I continue. First, the solution; >Just give the children what they want, and what they want is the >unconditional love of their parents, and what they want is to be taught love >by their parents. They don’t want to experience hate and pain, and they >don’t want to be taught hate and pain, they just want love. Give them the >all the love you can give them and all the love they want, they’ll get >enough pain on their own in their life. >Now, the problem; >All the problems in the world, and I mean ALL the problems in the world, can >be traced back to irresponsible reproduction and child >abuse/abandonment/neglect/molestation by heterosexual parents. >And then they try to blame the problems which they themselves have caused on >other things, like economics, drug abuse, homosexuality, etc., etc., ad >nauseum, until they feel better about the crimes against the human race >which they themselves have committed, under the banner and permission of >their false belief systems. >And then they try to pass laws and restrict the freedoms of other people on >whom they tried to blame the problems of the world, when they were the cause >of the problems in the first place. >The only people who will deny this are the heterosexuals and parents of the >world. The only people who will deny this are those who are they themselves >the problem. >To paraphrase Keanu Reeves’ character "Todd" in the movie Parenthood; "You >need a license to hunt, you need a license to drive, hell, you need a >license to catch a damn fish. But any butt-headed asshole can have a child." >Ain’t that the truth? In these times of rampant unlawful licensing, perhaps >we should license parenthood? >Yes, the heterosexuals and parents have failed the children of the world all >throughout history, don’t you think that it is time to give the bisexuals >and homosexuals a chance to see what they can contribute to the world with >their lifestyle and their ideas? >No, the heterosexuals and the parents will just keep on fostering their >false belief systems and their irresponsible reproduction and child >abuse/abandonment/neglect/molestation on the children of the world, call it >human nature, and continue to shift the blame onto the heads of their own >innocent children. >Love, peace and freedom for all people, >Mike >Have you had a new idea today? >How about love, peace and freedom for ALL people? >http://www.universalway.org

Response:

First of all, before I continue, I want to state that I was physically abused by my father as a child, and because of it, I decided I did not want to be anything like him, and chose another direction in my life. Recently I have come to the conclusion that I think I would have been a good parent, and have begun reconsidering some conclusions I made based on my father’s own style of parenting. I live in the upstairs apartment of my father’s house these days, and we get along okay, although he still has never apologized for using physical violence on a child. I doubt it will ever happen, but I think that this is his problem, and I fear that this will turn out to come back at him some way in the end. I continue. First, the solution; Just give the children what they want, and what they want is the unconditional love of their parents, and what they want is to be taught love by their parents. They don’t want to experience hate and pain, and they don’t want to be taught hate and pain, they just want love. Give them the all the love you can give them and all the love they want, they’ll get enough pain on their own in their life. Now, the problem; All the problems in the world, and I mean ALL the problems in the world, can be traced back to irresponsible reproduction and child abuse/abandonment/neglect/molestation by heterosexual parents. And then they try to blame the problems which they themselves have caused on other things, like economics, drug abuse, homosexuality, etc., etc., ad nauseum, until they feel better about the crimes against the human race which they themselves have committed, under the banner and permission of their false belief systems. And then they try to pass laws and restrict the freedoms of other people on whom they tried to blame the problems of the world, when they were the cause of the problems in the first place. The only people who will deny this are the heterosexuals and parents of the world. The only people who will deny this are those who are they themselves the problem. To paraphrase Keanu Reeves’ character "Todd" in the movie Parenthood; "You need a license to hunt, you need a license to drive, hell, you need a license to catch a damn fish. But any butt-headed asshole can have a child." Ain’t that the truth? In these times of rampant unlawful licensing, perhaps we should license parenthood? Yes, the heterosexuals and parents have failed the children of the world all throughout history, don’t you think that it is time to give the bisexuals and homosexuals a chance to see what they can contribute to the world with their lifestyle and their ideas? No, the heterosexuals and the parents will just keep on fostering their false belief systems and their irresponsible reproduction and child abuse/abandonment/neglect/molestation on the children of the world, call it human nature, and continue to shift the blame onto the heads of their own innocent children. Love, peace and freedom for all people, Mike Have you had a new idea today? How about love, peace and freedom for ALL people? http://www.universalway.org

Response: