Question:
I had my baby when I was 40 years old. How would you like to be 40 and It’s something that just comes to you as more time goes by. I was very uncomfortable with Maya, 3.5 now, at first and drove my mother nuts calling with questions every 5 minutes….and you know if I’m 43 now that my mom is much older! She’d tell me…."it’s been a very long time….I don’t remember that"! All I can tell you is the more time that goes by the more comfortable you’ll be…it’s almost instinctive. You sound like a wonderful and loving mother already to me! At my age, it’s very feasible to have an older daughter as well, so….scream here or email me if you have any questions at all…I’ll sure try to help! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I am the new mother of a perfect 7 month old baby. I am begining to > feel like I am loosing my mind. I cant seem to get my house clean or > anything else accomlished for that matter. I work for three hours a > day to get out of the house. I chose to stay at home and I do not > regret that at all. I’m not sure if what I am feeling is common or > over-reacting. From the day we brought her home from the hospital I can > not stop worring.(She was born with no health problems at all) When she > was almost 2 weeks old I thought she was breathing funny so I rushed her > to the doctor. Of course she was completely normal. It has only gotten > <forced to snip due to fussy server>
Response:
I am the mother of 3 healthy girls. I didnt do anything right but they are still alive. Kids are tuff and resilient. Over protection can be just as bad as underprotection. Let them grow they will learn. Rena
Response:
Congratulations!!!! I was in the same situation when my son was born. I had a mother but not much of one (I was a pawn in her life with my dad)Anyway I thought that I was doing everything wrong and had a husband who was very unsupportive and a mother-in law that felt she was the only one who should raise her Grandson. with the help of a very supportive Dr. I learned that I was a good mother to my son and that by reading books and taking what I read with a grain of salt I would learn the things that I was never taught and to always trust my gut feeling. My Dr. did go beyond the call of duty by calling out of the blue to see how things were going.(he knew my husband and in-laws and knew the situation was a bad one) Trust yourself beyond anyone else and seek the knowledge on your own whether it be here,books,your Dr.or your Mother-In Law. In the end you will know My ex-husband demanded that the house be clean and laundry always(every-day) done. Your husband is a lot more supportive than mine was so the need may not be there but I kept the house picked up and tried to get the laundry done everyday but as far as cleaning went I called a local cleaning service and was surprised to find out that they would come in to my home every other week and dust,vacuum, clean my bathrooms,make beds,and clean my kitchen(no dishes) and the charge was $50 a cleaning I don’t know your financial situation but if you can afford it and if having a clean home is on your priority list check out services in your area. I think that by what you have said you are doing a wonderful job. You will never stop worrying about your child and by showing love you are doing great Keep it up JMHO(I know my situation was different) Kerry-Lynn Noah’s mom
Response:
I think I missed the original poster, but…. In my case, my mother had a VERY abusive father and none of her family knew how to be good parents. With my daughter, I did what I thought I would have wanted my own mother to do. When I had questions, I called a cousin who had three kids – the youngest about a year older than mine. My husband’s first words were, I get up at 4 a.m., I am not getting up for the middle of the night feedings. You can guess how much support I got and am getting from there. I never hear from his family ’cause they’d rather have my daughter than me and they know I know it, and it’s not going to happen. They raised my Stepson so have no concept of how to react to someone actually wanting to raise their own child. I did any housework while my daughter napped. If I felt tired, I’d lay down with her. If my husband made a comment about the house, I’d tell him to take care of a child and try to do anything with a house. My daughter is now 20 months, I still can’t do laundry without her trying to help. Where’s he? At the computer, as usual. I’m sure this doesn’t help much. But remember, you only get one go around with your children. The housework will be there until someone does it. Your child will be there one day and be off to college the next. Cindy
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Sorry about the double posting I just realized Kerry-Lynn Mom to Noah
Response:
Hi, I just wanted to say you are not alone out there and there are people who care and are willing to listen. Maybe this will make you feel better. I am a mother of 4 children ages 5,3,2,10months.I choose to stay home fulltime while my husband works crazy hours.We really cant afford a daycare nor do I want to go that route anyway.I am alone with my kids most of the time,I really dont get out much only when I can find a baby sitter.I have been depressed with myself for a while now and im finally going for counciling and getting medication for it.My life is pretty full with the kids.I worry about there well being all the time,making sure there feeling ok,giving enough love being that there is 4 of them.I have been in your shoes before with my first child. Checking in the middle of the night ,not getting sleep,feeling though as if im not doing enough,etc…That is a normal process and you will get adjusted.Have you had any counciling with this? Are you on any medication such as prozac?I think this is important to talk to someone who has been there before and even still going through it now.It hasnt been to easy for me but,with family support,councilng and medication to take some of the edge off,Im getting through it. If you would like to talk further let me know. Take Care…lol..Lisa
Response:
I myself, used to be a very, very protective mommy. I still am protective, but am a bit more lax. My son is, by choice, going to be an only child, and I have basically been a stay home mommy since he was born. I am now looking for work to help pay bills and give him interaction with other kids. Trust your instincts, and remember, it is OKAY to be protective. You will start to relax a bit. Trust me. I used to be "psycho mom" when it came to my Zackie, now he runs around the house all the time, or should I say runs the house 
. I looked in on him when he was sleeping,and still do, to make sure he is breathing, that is just a mommy thing. You are normal, especially if this is child #1. Sara: wife to Rick, mommy to Zachary (12/9/96)
Response:
What you’re feeling is entirely normal! First of all, it will help you tremendously if you can just let some of the housework go. Prioritize, and figure out what it is you ABSOLUTELY have to have clean, and clean that. With a newborn/young child you’re not going to be able to do everything that you had done B.C…"before child". If the floor only gets mopped twice a month as opposed to once a week, nobody’s going to die. When my son was that age, I played this terrible game with myself. "I’m almost asleep, so I’ll just go check him one more time before I drift off…" This, of course, led to Mommy never sleeping. I was just sure it was the sheer force of my will that was keeping him alive. Guess what? It wasn’t. It was the sheer force of HIS will. I think that just the fact that you’re worried about being a good mother indicates that you’re already a good mother. You love your daughter, she loves you. That is truly the most important thing. If you can learn to relax a little and stop second-guessing every parenting decision you make, you’ll find that things start to flow more and more easily. It doesn’t really matter that you didn’t have much baby experience before…you’ve got PRACTICAL experience now. It doesn’t matter that you weren’t raised with the help of your mother…you had a loving parent that taught you trust and love and understanding. You’ve got all the tools that you need! Trust your instincts. Rely on help from your husband. Hug your baby every chance you get. And remember…YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER!!! Amanda
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Oh sweetie! ****BIG HUG****** You are a good mom. (tell yourself that 100 times) We all worry about our babies. That’s just part of the job. And it’s natural for you to worry even more since you haven’t been around babies and don’t know what’s "normal." (There really isn’t a normal that fits every child. They are all individuals.) The house will be clean again one day. Don’t let that bug you. Ask your hubby if he can help out with some of that. And don’t feel guilty about doing it. But let the baby be your first priority now. My two are 3 yrs and 7 yrs, my house still isn’t clean all the time. lol Whenever someone comes to visit that I wasn’t expecting, I always apologize for the mess. And you know what they all say? "Hey, you’ve got kids. The house isn’t supposed to be neat as a pin." You are doing a wonderful job. No one else will be able to love that baby the way you do. And that you are asking for support only says to me that you want to be the best mom you can be. You have come to a good place to look for that support. There are a lot of very caring, smart, wonderful people in this group. Any time you have a question you need answered, just ask away. Take care, Sharon
I am the new mother of a perfect 7 month old baby. I am begining to feel like I am loosing my mind. I cant seem to get my house clean or anything else accomlished for that matter. I work for three hours a day to get out of the house. I chose to stay at home and I do not regret that at all. I’m not sure if what I am feeling is common or over-reacting. From the day we brought her home from the hospital I can not stop worring.(She was born with no health problems at all) When she was almost 2 weeks old I thought she was breathing funny so I rushed her to the doctor. Of course she was completely normal. It has only gotten worse. I get up at all hours of the night just to touch her to make sure she is still breathing. It is almost like all my brain quits working when I think somethig s wrong with her
Response:
I stay at home too, and I’ve noticed that when you are at home you tend to dwell/obsess with things more than if you worked full or part time. Pretend you did work one or more days a week, would you sweat over the details as much? Probably not–you couldn’t because you wouldn’t have the time! So just relax! We’re all pulling for you, and if you’re crazy then we all are. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Oh sweetie! ****BIG HUG****** You are a good mom. (tell yourself that 100 > times) > We all worry about our babies. That’s just part of the job. And it’s > natural for you to worry even more since you haven’t been around babies and > don’t know what’s "normal." (There really isn’t a normal that fits every > child. They are all individuals.) The house will be clean again one day. > Don’t let that bug you. Ask your hubby if he can help out with some of > that. And don’t feel guilty about doing it. But let the baby be your first > priority now. My two are 3 yrs and 7 yrs, my house still isn’t clean all > the time. lol Whenever someone comes to visit that I wasn’t expecting, I > always apologize for the mess. And you know what they all say? "Hey, > you’ve got kids. The house isn’t supposed to be neat as a pin." > You are doing a wonderful job. No one else will be able to love that baby > the way you do. And that you are asking for support only says to me that > you want to be the best mom you can be. > You have come to a good place to look for that support. There are a lot of > very caring, smart, wonderful people in this group. Any time you have a > question you need answered, just ask away. > Take care, > Sharon > I am the new mother of a perfect 7 month old baby. I am begining to > feel like I am loosing my mind. I cant seem to get my house clean or > anything else accomlished for that matter. I work for three hours a > day to get out of the house. I chose to stay at home and I do not > regret that at all. I’m not sure if what I am feeling is common or > over-reacting. From the day we brought her home from the hospital I can > not stop worring.(She was born with no health problems at all) When she > was almost 2 weeks old I thought she was breathing funny so I rushed her > to the doctor. Of course she was completely normal. It has only gotten > worse. I get up at all hours of the night just to touch her to make > sure she is still breathing. It is almost like all my brain quits > working when I think somethig s wrong with her
Response:
Welcome to motherhood!!!!! I too have a daughter (7 months in a couple of days) but she is my third. The other two are 11 and 7. Yes, you will go through these phases. About your house, messy is okay. Your child needs your attention more than the laundry. As long as my beds are made and dishes are done, I’m happy (kind of) Feel free to e-mail me or just post here if you need to talk. You are SO normal!!!!!!!
I am the new mother of a perfect 7 month old baby. I am begining to feel like I am loosing my mind. I cant seem to get my house clean or anything else accomlished for that matter. I work for three hours a day to get out of the house. I chose to stay at home and I do not regret that at all. I’m not sure if what I am feeling is common or over-reacting. From the day we brought her home from the hospital I can not stop worring.(She was born with no health problems at all) When she was almost 2 weeks old I thought she was breathing funny so I rushed her to the doctor. Of course she was completely normal. It has only gotten worse. I get up at all hours of the night just to touch her to make sure she is still breathing. It is almost like all my brain quits working when I think somethig s wrong with her. I know that you cant find moms over the internet but I was sure hoping I could at least find some motherly advice. I have never really been around children. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant. We had been trying for a couple of years. I read every book available and went to every parenting class in our area. I want more than anything to be a good mom. I want to be the mother I never had. This is going to sound terrible, but I had never even changed diapers before. My husband has had to show me everything. He comes from a large family. I was raised by the greatest singl dad in the world. I have learned a lot in the last 7 months but not eneogh. I am genuinly looking for loving motherly support. I want to know how to teach her values. How to love her so she will grow up with confidence. I see so many neglected children today. I think it all starts at home. I’ve never had a mother to teach me so I am going at this mommy thing blindly. Any advice and loving support no matter how small can help. Thank you
Response:
I don’t think anyone with young children has a clean house these days – playing and being with your kids is so much more important than a clean and tidy house. As long as everyone is fed, the clothes are clean, and the house clean enough to keep from being infested with roaches, then relax. I don’t think anyone grows up wishing their Mom had spent more time cleaning and less time paying attention to them. Relax, you’re doing a great job. As far as meeting other Moms, you sound like you really need to. Try finding a Mothers support group, there are quite a few around. The top two that I know of are F.E.M.A.L.E. (Formerly Employed Mothers At the Leading Edge) and the Mothers’ Centers(www.motherscenter.org). You could also try meeting other Moms at local Gymboree classes or other Mommy and Me classes. Good Luck Heidi
Response:
First of all **HUGE HUGS**You are already doing a GREAT job!!!! If you weren’t already a great mom then you wouldn’t care so much. Give up on the clean house thing, you’ll only drive yourself mad. Do you and your hubby have clean underwear? Then thats all you need. I am the mother of 2 girls Samantha is 7 and Mackenzie is 5 1/2 months. Even though I have been through it all with Sami, I’m just as paranoid with Mackenzie. I took Mak to the dr when she was about 2 weeks old because she was breathing funny too. You teach her values by the examples that you and your hubby set. If you get to much change back at the register you give it back, if you see someone that’s "different" than you take the time to talk about what makes people different and that just because someone is different doesn’t make them a bad person. NEVER EVER EVER EVER call your child a name ie: stupid, lazy etc. it can really harm a child. Tell her something about her that you really like, ie: she’s smart or funny or has a great sense of humor. Tell her that she did a great job trying something new. And make sure that when you are talking on the phone to another adult that you always tell them how great you think she is. If she hears you talking about her to other people then she will know how much you care about her. And don’t EVER take everything you read in books and magazines to heart ,remember,YOU know your child better than anyone else in the whole world (including your husband). Geez I could go on and on. Please feel free to e-mail me. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I am the new mother of a perfect 7 month old baby. I am begining to > feel like I am loosing my mind. I cant seem to get my house clean or > anything else accomlished for that matter. I work for three hours a > day to get out of the house. I chose to stay at home and I do not > regret that at all. I’m not sure if what I am feeling is common or > over-reacting. From the day we brought her home from the hospital I can > not stop worring.(She was born with no health problems at all) When she > was almost 2 weeks old I thought she was breathing funny so I rushed her > to the doctor. Of course she was completely normal. It has only gotten > worse. I get up at all hours of the night just to touch her to make > sure she is still breathing. It is almost like all my brain quits > working when I think somethig s wrong with her. I know that you cant > find moms over the internet but I was sure hoping I could at least find > some motherly advice. I have never really been around children. I was > so excited when I found out I was pregnant. We had been trying for a > couple of years. I read every book available and went to every > parenting class in our area. I want more than anything to be a good > mom. I want to be the mother I never had. This is going to sound > terrible, but I had never even changed diapers before. My husband has > had to show me everything. He comes from a large family. I was raised > by the greatest singl dad in the world. I have learned a lot in the > last 7 months but not eneogh. I am genuinly looking for loving motherly > support. I want to know how to teach her values. How to love her so > she will grow up with confidence. I see so many neglected children > today. I think it all starts at home. I’ve never had a mother to teach > me so I am going at this mommy thing blindly. Any advice and loving > support no matter how small can help. Thank you
Response:
I am the new mother of a perfect 7 month old baby. I am begining to feel like I am loosing my mind. I cant seem to get my house clean or anything else accomlished for that matter. I work for three hours a day to get out of the house. I chose to stay at home and I do not regret that at all. I’m not sure if what I am feeling is common or over-reacting. From the day we brought her home from the hospital I can not stop worring.(She was born with no health problems at all) When she was almost 2 weeks old I thought she was breathing funny so I rushed her to the doctor. Of course she was completely normal. It has only gotten worse. I get up at all hours of the night just to touch her to make sure she is still breathing. It is almost like all my brain quits working when I think somethig s wrong with her. I know that you cant find moms over the internet but I was sure hoping I could at least find some motherly advice. I have never really been around children. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant. We had been trying for a couple of years. I read every book available and went to every parenting class in our area. I want more than anything to be a good mom. I want to be the mother I never had. This is going to sound terrible, but I had never even changed diapers before. My husband has had to show me everything. He comes from a large family. I was raised by the greatest singl dad in the world. I have learned a lot in the last 7 months but not eneogh. I am genuinly looking for loving motherly support. I want to know how to teach her values. How to love her so she will grow up with confidence. I see so many neglected children today. I think it all starts at home. I’ve never had a mother to teach me so I am going at this mommy thing blindly. Any advice and loving support no matter how small can help. Thank you
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