Question:
Isn’t this fun, Melody? First we have to put up with Bro Jack, then Mother Hickey comes back, now Elaine… Can anything else go wrong around here? Do we have to get all the evil in usenet? And just when I thought that things were getting back to normal. Georga – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Kids with no parents. Nice. > Almost like witches with no broom, huh? Why don’t you go find yours?
Response:
And if you are in Texas, you are free to e-mail me, also. I worked for the Texas Department of Human Services a few years ago, and I can answer questions you might have about Medicaid and other social services. Lisa * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
>i agree also, but my question is how in the hell is this woman supposed >to afford medical and/or professional help?
This is the type of situation that social services in most counties is best equipped to help with. They typically have a sliding scale fee, from no cost to low-cost to market rate, based on income. If psychotropic medications become part of the equation, virtually every pharmaceutical house has a program to make these meds available free for those who need them but can’t afford to pay for them (contact your doctor for information and an application). It may take a few phone calls to figure out the right agency/person to talk to, but help SHOULD be there. Vicki H.
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Or if you’re in georgia or tennessee I know all the ways to get free counseling & services in both places 
Melody – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > And if you are in Texas, you are free to e-mail me, also. I worked for > the Texas Department of Human Services a few years ago, and I can > answer questions you might have about Medicaid and other social > services. > Lisa > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
You have already received some great advice, both in getting a routine installed and obtaining professional help. One poster raised the question of payment for professional assistance. If you are in the US and are unemployed it is probable that your children qualify for Medicaid. If you don’t have it for them yet then apply. The usual standard with Medicaid is that it is approved retroactively to the date of application. You can even apply over the phone in many areas these days. Secondly, most [if not all] US states offer Case Management services for children with mental and behavioral health needs. One of the main qualifiers is that the child requires two or more coordinated mental health services. Individual and family counseling qualifies as two separate services, and would probably be real helpful to you all at this point. Find out what agency provides this service in your area and ask for a Case Manager for at least one of your children. The Case Manager will help you by assessing what is going on, referring you and your family to appropriate service providers, following up until the services are in your home, monitoring the effectiveness of the services [and advocate for you if the need arises] and then gracefully bow out of your family’s life. Since you sound just as overwhelmed as the children may also feel, having the assistance and support of a Case Manager might be just what you need to get over this hump and into services. If you don’t know where to start looking for the Case Management agency, ask your version of Foster Care or the Medicaid Area Office [Case Management is a Medicaid reimbursed service]. If you are in Florida, email me and I may well be able to give much more specific information. Good luck. You can make your way through this and bring your kids along with you, too. – Aula
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she > is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t > see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two years. > "Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a > hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation which > we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by > Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of > finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter > began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare > entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a really > bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. > money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, > running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with > compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". > she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only > not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve > recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for > 15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry > with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always > different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy because > I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" > Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
> Kids with no parents. Nice.
Almost like witches with no broom, huh? Why don’t you go find yours? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
If you want to get professional help for both you and your children, you might check out your local mental health authority (well, that’s what it’s called here in Texas). Services are based on income–and if you are charged for services and you can’t pay for them, they write it off. Our local mental health authority offers parenting classes a couple of times a week and works with parents and kids together and in seperate sessions. Also, in some cities, WIC offices offer parenting classes. I also agree with the advice from the other posters (well, except for you-know-who, of course). Get a routine down and set some rules and enforce them. It may not seem like you are getting anywhere for a while, but I am willing to bet that your kids will respond once they see that you are trying to help them feel better. Something to keep in mind–don’t let people get you down. Some people make it their business to kick you while you’re in the gutter. Ignore these people. Some people think that they are living some sort of charmed life and that they have all the answers. They aren’t and they don’t. I imagine that you are doing the best you can right now, and you ARE concerned, or you wouldn’t have posted here. That’s the first step–realizing the problem. The next move is yours, too. Get help. If there are no counseling services available that you can afford, try talking to a pastor. Some of the best advice I’ve ever received has been from my pastor. HTH, Lisa * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Kids with no parents. Nice. >You really are a bitch, arn’t you? >For your information, the best of parents can have the worst of kids due >to any variety of problems. Get a life. Better yet, get some kids and >find out for yourself before you go spouting off your crap. >Georga
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >You’re not a bad mom. > Geeze, if THIS is not a bad bunch of parents, I would hate to think what > was. Yuk! > You stuck by your kids, you want to help them. > >Most kids would be lucky to have a mom like you. > >The other posters have already said it. Get a routine going, write it > >down. Daily bedtimes, mealtimes, playtimes. Stick to it. A routine > >will give your kids something stable to count on. Once you have a > >routine going, it’s easier to tackle the individual issues. Show lots > >of unconditional love, no matter what, you have to keep showing your > >kids that you love them regardless of how they behave. > >If you can get professional help, go for it. If not, look for a local > >support group. The good news is that young kids can get over the tough > >times and bounce back. A bad start is usually that, just a bad start. > >You’ve got a long, rough road ahead, but you seem to have what it > >takes. > >Good luck > >Paul > >>HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but > she > >>is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I > don’t > >>see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two > years. > >>"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a > >>hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation > which > >>we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by > >>Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of > >>finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter > >>began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare > >>entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a > really > >>bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then > hidden. > >>money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, > >>running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems > with > >>compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". > >>she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, > only > >>not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve > >>recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for > >>15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry > >>with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always > >>different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy > because > >>I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" > >>Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
Randy, No, she doesn’t have kids yet she hangs around here and every so often gives this kind of hateful advice. Georga – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Give them away. Find a real home for them with a mommy and a > daddy. They > don’t have any parents now. You’re at work all the time. The have > no father. > These are unloved, essentially feral children. The girl apparently > lost her > father and a step father. What a sad situation! Give them a > chance for a > real homelife. > what the hell kind of advice is that? you want this lady to treat her > kids like dogs? take them to the pound when you can’t train them not to > pee on the carpet? oh, i get it, now. plain as day….you don’t have > kids do you? maybe you should experience things first before you go > spouting off (crappy) advice to others, ya think? > randy > >HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not > ADD, but she > >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of > it". I don’t > >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last > two > years. > >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll > them from a > >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week > probation > which > >we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily > disowned by > >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because > of > >finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my > daughter > >began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed > from daycare > >entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel > like a really > >bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is > then hidden. > >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of > control, > >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has > problems with > >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just > because". > >she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed > wetting, only > >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements > also. I’ve > >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen > timer for > >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is > he angry > >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers > are always > >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at > mommy > because > >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" > >Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing. > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Elaine, You have out done yourself with insensitivity this time. Go to hell! Georga – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Give them away. Find a real home for them with a mommy and a daddy. They > don’t have any parents now. You’re at work all the time. The have no father. > These are unloved, essentially feral children. The girl apparently lost her > father and a step father. What a sad situation! Give them a chance for a > real homelife. >HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two > years. >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation > which >we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of >finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter >began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare >entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a really >bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy > because >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" >Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
You really are a bitch, arn’t you? For your information, the best of parents can have the worst of kids due to any variety of problems. Get a life. Better yet, get some kids and find out for yourself before you go spouting off your crap. Georga – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->You’re not a bad mom. > Geeze, if THIS is not a bad bunch of parents, I would hate to think what > was. Yuk! > You stuck by your kids, you want to help them. >Most kids would be lucky to have a mom like you. >The other posters have already said it. Get a routine going, write it >down. Daily bedtimes, mealtimes, playtimes. Stick to it. A routine >will give your kids something stable to count on. Once you have a >routine going, it’s easier to tackle the individual issues. Show lots >of unconditional love, no matter what, you have to keep showing your >kids that you love them regardless of how they behave. >If you can get professional help, go for it. If not, look for a local >support group. The good news is that young kids can get over the tough >times and bounce back. A bad start is usually that, just a bad start. >You’ve got a long, rough road ahead, but you seem to have what it >takes. >Good luck >Paul >>HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but > she >>is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I > don’t >>see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two > years. >>"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >>hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation > which >>we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by >>Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of >>finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter >>began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare >>entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a > really >>bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then > hidden. >>money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >>running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems > with >>compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >>she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, > only >>not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >>recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >>15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >>with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >>different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy > because >>I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" >>Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Wow, it sounds like things are very stressful in your house right > now! I > agree with everyone elses advice (except Elaine’s), you definitely > need > to seek professional help for both yourself AND your children. > In the meantime, think about it like this. Kids, the majority > anyway, > thrive on consistency and routine, your kids have neither. They > don’t > really have any control over what happens to them, so they are > reacting > in the only way they know how. You daughter is taking charge of > her life > and what happens to her (granted, it’s in a very negative way) in > the > only way she knows how. Your son is doing the same (it’s also > expected > that kids in really stressful situations will regress and if he’s > recently potty-trained, it’s reasonable that he is backsliding on > that). > Professionals can teach your kids very useful anger management > skills. > Sit down with your kids and talk to them (as a family or one at a > time, > whatever you think would be more manageable). Tell them what you > need, > find out what they need and work *together* to find a way to make > your > home a nice place to be. > Good luck!! > -Alexis > HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not > ADD, but she > is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of > it". I don’t > see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the > last two years. > "Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll > them from a > hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week > probation which > we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily > disowned by > Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because > of > finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time > my daughter > began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed > from daycare > entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel > like a really > bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is > then hidden. > money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of > control, > running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has > problems with > compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just > because". > she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed > wetting, only > not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements > also. I’ve > recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen > timer for > 15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? > Is he angry > with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers > are always > different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at > mommy because > I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" > Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing. > Before you buy.
i agree also, but my question is how in the hell is this woman supposed to afford medical and/or professional help? i think that this woman is probably gonna have to either fix or at least start the problem solving herself. start with the ground rules idea mentioned by a previous poster, and make sure to spend time with your kiddos!! that is very important. but start with the rules and be consistent with them. if you threaten with a punishement, you better follow through. good luck… randy * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
> Give them away. Find a real home for them with a mommy and a > daddy. They > don’t have any parents now. You’re at work all the time. The have > no father. > These are unloved, essentially feral children. The girl apparently > lost her > father and a step father. What a sad situation! Give them a > chance for a > real homelife.
what the hell kind of advice is that? you want this lady to treat her kids like dogs? take them to the pound when you can’t train them not to pee on the carpet? oh, i get it, now. plain as day….you don’t have kids do you? maybe you should experience things first before you go spouting off (crappy) advice to others, ya think? randy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not > ADD, but she >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of > it". I don’t >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last > two > years. >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll > them from a >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week > probation > which >we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily > disowned by >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because > of >finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my > daughter >began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed > from daycare >entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel > like a really >bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is > then hidden. >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of > control, >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has > problems with >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just > because". >she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed > wetting, only >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements > also. I’ve >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen > timer for >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is > he angry >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers > are always >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at > mommy > because >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" >Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
>>You’re not a bad mom. > Geeze, if THIS is not a bad bunch of parents, I would hate to think what >was. Yuk!
Ha ha ha haa. And what rock did you crawl out from under? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->You stuck by your kids, you want to help them. >Most kids would be lucky to have a mom like you. >The other posters have already said it. Get a routine going, write it >down. Daily bedtimes, mealtimes, playtimes. Stick to it. A routine >will give your kids something stable to count on. Once you have a >routine going, it’s easier to tackle the individual issues. Show lots >of unconditional love, no matter what, you have to keep showing your >kids that you love them regardless of how they behave. >If you can get professional help, go for it. If not, look for a local >support group. The good news is that young kids can get over the tough >times and bounce back. A bad start is usually that, just a bad start. >You’ve got a long, rough road ahead, but you seem to have what it >takes. >Good luck >Paul >>HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but >she >>is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I >don’t >>see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two >years. >>"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >>hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation >which >>we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by >>Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of >>finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter >>began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare >>entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a >really >>bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then >hidden. >>money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >>running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems >with >>compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >>she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, >only >>not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >>recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >>15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >>with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >>different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy >because >>I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" >>Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
>You’re not a bad mom.
Geeze, if THIS is not a bad bunch of parents, I would hate to think what was. Yuk! You stuck by your kids, you want to help them. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Most kids would be lucky to have a mom like you. >The other posters have already said it. Get a routine going, write it >down. Daily bedtimes, mealtimes, playtimes. Stick to it. A routine >will give your kids something stable to count on. Once you have a >routine going, it’s easier to tackle the individual issues. Show lots >of unconditional love, no matter what, you have to keep showing your >kids that you love them regardless of how they behave. >If you can get professional help, go for it. If not, look for a local >support group. The good news is that young kids can get over the tough >times and bounce back. A bad start is usually that, just a bad start. >You’ve got a long, rough road ahead, but you seem to have what it >takes. >Good luck >Paul >HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two years. >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation which >we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of >finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter >began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare >entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a really >bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy because >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" >Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
Wouldn’t be much of a difference. They don’t have parents now. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Give them away. Find a real home for them with a mommy and a daddy. >They > don’t have any parents now. You’re at work all the time. The have no >father. > These are unloved, essentially feral children. The girl apparently >lost her > father and a step father. What a sad situation! Give them a chance >for a > real homelife. > >HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, >but she > >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I >don’t > >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two > years. > >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them >from a > >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week >probation > which > >we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily >disowned by > >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of > >finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my >daughter > >began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from >daycare > >entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a >really > >bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then >hidden. > >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of >control, > >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has >problems with > >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just >because". > >she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed >wetting, only > >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. >I’ve > >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen >timer for > >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he >angry > >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are >always > >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy > because > >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" > >Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing. >You mean abandon them again eh? Doesn’t sound like a solution to me. >Mike >Before you buy.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Give them away. Find a real home for them with a mommy and a daddy. They > don’t have any parents now. You’re at work all the time. The have no father. > These are unloved, essentially feral children. The girl apparently lost her > father and a step father. What a sad situation! Give them a chance for a > real homelife. >HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two > years. >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation > which >we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of >finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter >began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare >entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a really >bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy > because >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" >Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
You mean abandon them again eh? Doesn’t sound like a solution to me. Mike Before you buy.
Response:
You’re not a bad mom. You stuck by your kids, you want to help them. Most kids would be lucky to have a mom like you. The other posters have already said it. Get a routine going, write it down. Daily bedtimes, mealtimes, playtimes. Stick to it. A routine will give your kids something stable to count on. Once you have a routine going, it’s easier to tackle the individual issues. Show lots of unconditional love, no matter what, you have to keep showing your kids that you love them regardless of how they behave. If you can get professional help, go for it. If not, look for a local support group. The good news is that young kids can get over the tough times and bounce back. A bad start is usually that, just a bad start. You’ve got a long, rough road ahead, but you seem to have what it takes. Good luck Paul – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two years. >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation which >we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of >finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter >began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare >entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a really >bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy because >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" >Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
> Give them away. Find a real home for them with a mommy and a daddy. They >don’t have any parents now. You’re at work all the time. The have no father. >These are unloved, essentially feral children. The girl apparently lost her >father and a step father. What a sad situation! Give them a chance for a >real homelife.
Heartless. How could you? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two >years. >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation >which >we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of >finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter >began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare >entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a really >bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy >because >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" >Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
Wow, it sounds like things are very stressful in your house right now! I agree with everyone elses advice (except Elaine’s), you definitely need to seek professional help for both yourself AND your children. In the meantime, think about it like this. Kids, the majority anyway, thrive on consistency and routine, your kids have neither. They don’t really have any control over what happens to them, so they are reacting in the only way they know how. You daughter is taking charge of her life and what happens to her (granted, it’s in a very negative way) in the only way she knows how. Your son is doing the same (it’s also expected that kids in really stressful situations will regress and if he’s recently potty-trained, it’s reasonable that he is backsliding on that). Professionals can teach your kids very useful anger management skills. Sit down with your kids and talk to them (as a family or one at a time, whatever you think would be more manageable). Tell them what you need, find out what they need and work *together* to find a way to make your home a nice place to be. Good luck!! -Alexis – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she > is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t > see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two years. > "Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a > hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation which > we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by > Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of > finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter > began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare > entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a really > bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. > money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, > running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with > compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". > she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only > not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve > recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for > 15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry > with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always > different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy because > I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" > Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Before you buy.
Response:
You poor thing. You really do have a situation. You sound very busy with your hands full. First I think I would set some ground rules. Start with behavior in the household. You need to have a daily routine and possibly spend more time one on one with your children and make them feel loved and special in their own way. Even if it is 15min per child. I think the child with the wetting problem is regressing for some reason. I think I would get to the bottom of that immediately. Just make quiet time and show your children that you love them. Definetly set your house rules and routine and I think things will get better. Write it out and try different things. Once you get all these things straight take some mommy time and relax. Reward yourself for a job well done. Remember to be firm but lovable. I wish ou all the luck!! E-mail address is * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping. Smart is Beautiful
Response:
I agree with you, Vicki. It sounds like the whole situation has gotten out of control. Some sort of psychological intervention my be in order, plus a parenting class. Your little ones are crying out for help. They seem to be emotionally distraught and it doesn’t seem that you have any idea where to start. There really are too many problems here for this newsgroup to help with. You can go back through the archives to look for specific answers to specific problems. Or even ask about one or two problems here. But an honest attempt at a reply to all that you posted would take pages. One little comment, children will often pick up on their parents feelings and emotions. How are you dealing with the abandonment and the lose of your job? It might help all of you, if you too sought some counseling. I don’t think you are a bad mother. You are honestly trying to find the right answers and are doing the best job that you know how. That is all anyone can do. You have made the first step in asking for help. You should be congratulated for that. But I think you are asking at the wrong place. Try the county mental health association, every county in the US should have one. Good luck, Heidi — Would you like a home-based business? Ask me what is working for me and my family.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two years. > Yes, they have – enough changes to create big stresses in any > children. Have you taken the kids to a therapist or a psychologist? > Someone who could help determine to what extent their issues are based > on the chaotic changes and to what extent their issues may be based on > disorders, learning disabilities, etc. Also, why are you saying your 5 > yo is not ADD but is ‘clinically hyperactive’? Except in very obvious > cases, it may be early elementary school before it becomes clear that > a child has ADD, when the child has to function in a school > environment. >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation which >we failed to find a solution for). > That probation should tell you something – there is noticeable > difference in your daughter and the other kids. This is where you may > want a therapist to help you understand what is going on. >My daughter was temporarily disowned by >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. > Put yourself in her shoes – how does a small child handle being > ‘disowned by Dad’? > I love my children, but I feel like a really bad mom. > Then look around for parenting classes. Many communities make them > available for free. >My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >she is a controlling, bossy thing. > So why are you sure she has no ADD and ‘is growing out of it’? >My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy because >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" > A child that young can’t explain. He needs some medical help. > I have adopted children with disorders and a lot of experience in > volunteer organizations dealing with other families with similar > issues. Your children are crying our for some help that a professional > can help you with. If you have insurance, get a referral from the > pediatrician. If you don’t have insurance, contact your local mental > health referral agency and get a referral. They DO have therapists > available with sliding scales based on ability to pay. You and your > children need some help. > Vicki H.
Response:
HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two years. "Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation which we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a really bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for 15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy because I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
>HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two years.
Yes, they have – enough changes to create big stresses in any children. Have you taken the kids to a therapist or a psychologist? Someone who could help determine to what extent their issues are based on the chaotic changes and to what extent their issues may be based on disorders, learning disabilities, etc. Also, why are you saying your 5 yo is not ADD but is ‘clinically hyperactive’? Except in very obvious cases, it may be early elementary school before it becomes clear that a child has ADD, when the child has to function in a school environment. >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation which >we failed to find a solution for).
That probation should tell you something – there is noticeable difference in your daughter and the other kids. This is where you may want a therapist to help you understand what is going on. >My daughter was temporarily disowned by >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now.
Put yourself in her shoes – how does a small child handle being ‘disowned by Dad’? > I love my children, but I feel like a really bad mom.
Then look around for parenting classes. Many communities make them available for free. >My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >she is a controlling, bossy thing.
So why are you sure she has no ADD and ‘is growing out of it’? >My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy because >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?"
A child that young can’t explain. He needs some medical help. I have adopted children with disorders and a lot of experience in volunteer organizations dealing with other families with similar issues. Your children are crying our for some help that a professional can help you with. If you have insurance, get a referral from the pediatrician. If you don’t have insurance, contact your local mental health referral agency and get a referral. They DO have therapists available with sliding scales based on ability to pay. You and your children need some help. Vicki H.
Response:
Give them away. Find a real home for them with a mommy and a daddy. They don’t have any parents now. You’re at work all the time. The have no father. These are unloved, essentially feral children. The girl apparently lost her father and a step father. What a sad situation! Give them a chance for a real homelife. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >HELP!! I have two children, ages 4 and 5. My 5 year old is not ADD, but she >is "clinically hyperactive" but "appears to be growing out of it". I don’t >see this. The kids have been through a lot of changes in the last two years. >"Dad" walked out two years ago (literally). I had to disenroll them from a >hellish preschool (actually my daughter was given a two week probation which >we failed to find a solution for). My daughter was temporarily disowned by >Dad (not her biological father)-but that is better now. Because of >finances, I changed daycare for both children at the same time my daughter >began Kindergarten, and just one month ago, they were removed from daycare >entirely because I got fired. I love my children, but I feel like a really >bad mom. My 4 year old steals. food from the pantry, which is then hidden. >money from my dresser, just to hold it. My daughter is out of control, >running, yelling (it’s like she HAS to create noise). She has problems with >compulsions, i.e.., walking past brother and smacking him "just because". >she is a controlling, bossy thing. My son, BIG problem!! Bed wetting, only >not always in bed. And, in the last two weeks, bowel movements also. I’ve >recently gone to goodnites and today I tried setting the kitchen timer for >15 minutes. He went "poop" in between!! How is that possible? Is he angry >with me for all these changes? I tried asking him, the answers are always >different and none agree with what I’m asking; "Are you mad at mommy because >I can’t take you to Tracy’s (babysitter) anymore?" >Any suggestions or just Mom insight would be a blessing.
Response:
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> BTW, Dakota is gorgeous! > Denna Lasik 
> : here’s my problem and i hope someone can help. > : I married my husband and had twin girls. both are 2.5 now. i also have = > : a 16 and a 10 year old sons. > : my husband, at the beginning used to bring the twins to bed saying "oh, = > : but they’re so cute". in the last 5 months, esp the last 2 months, he = > : has been yelling and screaming at the twins when they have their = > : tantrums or even whines or is upset. his solution is forcefully taking = > : them upstairs and puts them in their bed and shuts the door. =20 > Tantrums, whining, and "upsets" are normal, if undesirable, behavior for > 2.5 year olds. IMO, an adult regularly ‘yelling and screaming’ AT 2.5 year > olds is neither normal nor acceptable. > : when they were babies, i mean BABIES, i hardly had much sleep as they’d = > : wake up every night in middle of the night and my husband would = > : complaint "jesus, do something, give them a bottle or something, i gotta = > : work in the morning!" so i’d get up and give them a bottle. =20 > : last few weeks, he would say "ashley/marissa come in here(this is in = > : middle of the night when they’re upset or crying") and they’d come in = > : the room and get into bed and fall back to sleep. when they toss and = > : turn he’d get all out of shape and yank them out of our bed forcefully = > : and put them back in their beds and screams, LITERALLY SCREAMING, at the = > : top of his lunge "cover up and stop this and GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!!" and = > : shuts the door. > The way I see it, the poor kids are in a no-win situation. Any waking up > results in moving them to your bed, where what seems to be normal > tossing and turning leads to being screamed at and manhandled by your > husband. Furthermore, I bet that the screaming and arm-yanking > *reinforces* their restless sleep. I certainly wouldn’t sleep soundly if > I was worried about some maniac yelling at me in the middle of the night! > : last night, he did just that… ashely (the older of the twins) came = > : crying in middle of the night.. just got into bed and hang on to me for = > : dear life and i held her back and calmed her down. in the mean time, = > : marissa, her sister was woken up by her and came in slightly crying and = > : lay down on the edge of my side of the bed and covered herself up and = > : falling back to sleep. in the mean time, i had to move a little to make = > : room for marissa and that just upset ashely a little where she began to = > : "whine" (this took place all in less than 3 minutes) so she wasn’t = > : exactly calmed down completely when my husband, once again, says "ok.. = > : that’s it" and YANKS ashley out of bed while she’s screaming now for = > : "mama" and puts her back into bed and tells her to cover up and shut up = > : and go back to sleep. i can hear her crying for me for about an hour. > : i am at wits end. on one hand, he complaints when the babies wakes him = > : up. on the other, he screams at them making them upset. if i was a kid, = > : i’d have nightmares every night myself! there were nights where i’d = > : wake up and find ashley or marissa or both sleeping soundly next to me = > : and i’d actually welcome their presence over his! and rather than waking = > : them up and disturbing them and hearing my husband SCREAM at them, i’d = > : leave them next to me. at least i know they won’t be screamed at that = > : night. > I am usually a strong proponent of having parents share ‘getting up’ > duty as much as possible, but in this case you need to protect them from > his abuse. I recommend leaving them in their room and going to sleep > with them if necessary. > You clearly understand that your husband’s behavior is *way* out of hand > and contributing to the problem. Can’t you talk to him and explain that > his actions are making things worse? He also needs to understand that > screaming at and manhandling toddlers in this way is inappropriate, > unacceptable, and just plain abusive, IMO. > Your husband could also benefit from some parenting or anger management > classes. Maybe your pediatrician or local CPS office could recommend a > course that would help. > Laura Uerling 