Question:
>in fact, my fiancee has >given me the freedom to pursue my dreams and at the same time >support our family. >However, I may not be present for several months of the year. . She is >a wonderful, >loving indivdual to allow me this option. I guess what I need from you >guys is >reassurance that I’m not acting selfishly.
IF you still feel the same way after the baby arrives and IF your finacee truly encourages you to pursue your dreams and does not mind your absences, you have nothing to feel guilty about by "going for it". Military families routinely spend months apart and are still very much loving families nonetheless. Again, if this is all done with the full support of your then wife, you will also be an excellent example to your son or daughter of how a person can be a loving parent and pursue his or her own dreams at the same time, something that child may one day want to do. But don’t forget to support her when she wants to follow some dreams of her own! Parenting and following ones heart’s desire are not necessarily mutually exclusive. There will be much give and take on both sides are you create your unique lifestyle. The key will be how you and your wife tailor your lives to best meet everyone’s needs and enable you all to lead life to the fullest. It make take a little time and creativity, but it will be well worth the effort. Mary
Response:
Thank you all- I have been in turmoil since learning of the pregnancy. Those of you that put the issue into perspective for me, thanks. Please help me address the issue of resentment. I understand the examples given that my dreams will seem less important when compared against the wonderful future with a family. However, as one poster so aptly put it, I am in a crisis. My dreams have been put on hold for so long now that I feel my decisions are clouded by them and I may act irrationally. You may be thinking, why doesn’t he just grow up and accept the respnsibility? I don’t intend to shirk my responsibilities, in fact, my fiancee has given me the freedom to pursue my dreams and at the same time support our family. However, I may not be present for several months of the year. . She is a wonderful, loving indivdual to allow me this option. I guess what I need from you guys is reassurance that I’m not acting selfishly. I think I share a dilemma with many others, otherwise, why would Bruce Springsteen write; "God have mercy on those that doubt what they are sure of".
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