Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >OK folks, the big day is almost here; my wife and I are expecting our >first child (a girl) within the next two weeks, and I want to be as >involved, helpful and supportive as possible during the birth and over >the months to follow. We’ve been through the childbirth, babycare, >first-aid and breastfeeding classes, and read quite bit about what to >expect and how to deal with it. Still, I’d appreciate any tips or >useful experience that those of you who’ve already been through this >(especially the dads) could offer (i.e. "I never heard this before >he/she was born, but this really works…") on anything from comforting >a crying baby (or spouse), to how long dad should stay home after the >birth, to dealing with the sleep loss. >Thanks in advance! >–Excited, but just a little nervous…
changed her mind about wanting this new little bundle. She hasn’t, I assure you. My own DH thought this…….merely because I was SO worried all the time about doing everything just right, her health, her crying, her everything. think out loud…….really verbalize *alot*. They don’t want you to DO anything really about what they are telling you, they just want you to be as worried as they are. If you aren’t, they’ll give this hands on hips glare and ask you why you don’t even care about your *own baby*. But beware…..they’ll tend to turn on you in an instant if you’re *more* worried something were wrong with her? *I’m her mother, for God’s sake!" Just lend her an ear…….and don’t tell her to call the doctor if she’s *that* worried…….she won’t do it, and she’ll look at ya like you’re nuts because she just wants you really to listen and hear her. Just shut-up alot and listen. Take a course in mindreading if you can….that helps. When in doubt……agree with her on anything. When in further doubt……mumble. If your doubt grows worse than that…..I would advise you to invest in alot of chocolate and praise your mother-in-law to the high heavens for giving birth to the *obviously* best mother on earth. Other than that, the only advice I can give you is to learn to love the look of your wife in a bathrobe for a 3 month stretch…….learn to cook something other than soup in a can…..and to grow accustomed to shrugging your shoulders alot while saying, " I’ll trust your judgement, honey…..you’re her mother." Josie
Response:
LOL, Josie, but your right. Sue B.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->OK folks, the big day is almost here; my wife and I are expecting our >first child (a girl) within the next two weeks, and I want to be as >involved, helpful and supportive as possible during the birth and over >the months to follow. We’ve been through the childbirth, babycare, >first-aid and breastfeeding classes, and read quite bit about what to >expect and how to deal with it. Still, I’d appreciate any tips or >useful experience that those of you who’ve already been through this >(especially the dads) could offer (i.e. "I never heard this before >he/she was born, but this really works…") on anything from comforting >a crying baby (or spouse), to how long dad should stay home after the >birth, to dealing with the sleep loss. >Thanks in advance! >–Excited, but just a little nervous… she’s > changed her mind about wanting this new little bundle. She hasn’t, I assure > you. My own DH thought this…….merely because I was SO worried all the time > about doing everything just right, her health, her crying, her everything. to > think out loud…….really verbalize *alot*. They don’t want you to DO > anything really about what they are telling you, they just want you to be aren’t > as worried as they are. If you aren’t, they’ll give this hands on hips glare > and ask you why you don’t even care about your *own baby*. But > beware…..they’ll tend to turn on you in an instant if you’re *more* worried > something were wrong with her? *I’m her mother, for God’s sake!" Just lend her > an ear…….and don’t tell her to call the doctor if she’s *that* > worried…….she won’t do it, and she’ll look at ya like you’re nuts because > she just wants you really to listen and hear her. Just shut-up alot and listen. > Take a course in mindreading if you can….that helps. When in doubt……agree > with her on anything. When in further doubt……mumble. If your doubt grows > worse than that…..I would advise you to invest in alot of chocolate and > praise your mother-in-law to the high heavens for giving birth to the > *obviously* best mother on earth. Other than that, the only advice I can give > you is to learn to love the look of your wife in a bathrobe for a 3 month > stretch…….learn to cook something other than soup in a can…..and to grow > accustomed to shrugging your shoulders alot while saying, " I’ll trust your > judgement, honey…..you’re her mother." > Josie
Response:
> OK folks, the big day is almost here; my wife and I are expecting our > first child (a girl) within the next two weeks, and I want to be as > involved, helpful and supportive as possible during the birth and over > the months to follow. We’ve been through the childbirth, babycare, > first-aid and breastfeeding classes, and read quite bit about what to > expect and how to deal with it. Still, I’d appreciate any tips or > useful experience that those of you who’ve already been through this > (especially the dads) could offer (i.e. "I never heard this before > he/she was born, but this really works…") on anything from comforting > a crying baby (or spouse), to how long dad should stay home after the > birth, to dealing with the sleep loss.
YOU get up during the night. Seriously. Get the baby, bring her to Mom, plug her in, fill her up, change her, and put her back to bed. A few months of sleep deprivation and a lifetime of payoff. Trust me on this! — | Bogus as it might seem, people, this really is a deliverable | | e-mail address. Of course, there isn’t REALLY a lumber cartel. | | There isn’t really a tooth fairy, but whois toothfairy.com works. |
Response:
> One of the most wonderful things my husband did for me in the > early weeks, all three times, was to get up during the night and > bring the baby to me in bed, to nurse. I could nurse without > having to wake up completely and it also gave my aching body a > chance to rest. He would change the diaper before or after I > nursed and put the baby back in bassinet (even though it was > right near the bed) He has continued to be a completely involved > parent in every way possible and his wonderful relationship with > the children are the result of his dedication. So what ever you > choose to do, realize that you are doing it as much for your own > relationship with your child as for your wife.
it is nice if dad has a thing for which he is r esponsible — for us it was baths — I got to nurse which is fun and he did the baths, which are fun — and whoever was with the baby got to do the diaper changes which is not exactly the most fun part of parenthood.
Response:
That is very important. Don’t stand around and ask what she needs (all the time, anyway) If you see things that need to be done, do it. If the baby is screaming or fussy, take the baby and give her a break. The worst thing my hubby does is stand there while I am in the middle of washing clothes, dishes, and cooking is ask me if I want him to do something. That really makes me freak lol Marie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->You’ll probably be better at all this then you think you will. My husband >was much better at the baths and diaper changing then I was at first. Also >I’m not one of those that needed my husband to stay home for a long time. >His work gives him 10 days of paternity leave and that was plenty. We (me >and the baby, then babies) needed to go ahead and get in a routine. >Just take the baby when you feel like it. Don’t wait till you see your wife >is getting stressed out or for her to ask you. Just do it. I know I love >it when my husband just takes the baby. >Good luck, Sophie >mom to Charlotte (22 months) and Patrick (5 months)
Response:
Are you sure we aren’t married to the same man??? Hubby saw this post and thought I was using a ghost name….hehe Sarah
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> That is very important. Don’t stand around and ask what she needs (all the > time, anyway) If you see things that need to be done, do it. If the baby is > screaming or fussy, take the baby and give her a break. > The worst thing my hubby does is stand there while I am in the middle of > washing clothes, dishes, and cooking is ask me if I want him to do > something. That really makes me freak lol > Marie >You’ll probably be better at all this then you think you will. My husband >was much better at the baths and diaper changing then I was at first. Also >I’m not one of those that needed my husband to stay home for a long time. >His work gives him 10 days of paternity leave and that was plenty. We (me >and the baby, then babies) needed to go ahead and get in a routine. >Just take the baby when you feel like it. Don’t wait till you see your > wife >is getting stressed out or for her to ask you. Just do it. I know I love >it when my husband just takes the baby. >Good luck, Sophie >mom to Charlotte (22 months) and Patrick (5 months)
Response:
You’ll probably be better at all this then you think you will. My husband was much better at the baths and diaper changing then I was at first. Also I’m not one of those that needed my husband to stay home for a long time. His work gives him 10 days of paternity leave and that was plenty. We (me and the baby, then babies) needed to go ahead and get in a routine. Just take the baby when you feel like it. Don’t wait till you see your wife is getting stressed out or for her to ask you. Just do it. I know I love it when my husband just takes the baby. Good luck, Sophie mom to Charlotte (22 months) and Patrick (5 months)
Response:
One of the most wonderful things my husband did for me in the early weeks, all three times, was to get up during the night and bring the baby to me in bed, to nurse. I could nurse without having to wake up completely and it also gave my aching body a chance to rest. He would change the diaper before or after I nursed and put the baby back in bassinet (even though it was right near the bed) He has continued to be a completely involved parent in every way possible and his wonderful relationship with the children are the result of his dedication. So what ever you choose to do, realize that you are doing it as much for your own relationship with your child as for your wife. Susan http://havinganotherbaby.com * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Well, each mommy and childbirth is different. I, for one, was a complete and total bitch before, during and a couple of weeks after (three broken ribs courtesy of DD). Hubby was fantastic. Be prepared for a.)the most humbling spiritual experience of your life. b.)the most tiring, nervewracking experience of your life. Stay with baby and mommy as long and as much as you can. The more rest Mom can get, the faster she will bounce back. Remember, just because you didn’t carry the child yourself, doesn’t mean your hormones and your body isn’t preparing for the big change. (Its true!) You will be surprised at how much of a parenting instinct you have! Trust your gut and ENJOY! Sarah Mom to Kalen (8) and Victoria (5 months)
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> OK folks, the big day is almost here; my wife and I are expecting our > first child (a girl) within the next two weeks, and I want to be as > involved, helpful and supportive as possible during the birth and over > the months to follow. We’ve been through the childbirth, babycare, > first-aid and breastfeeding classes, and read quite bit about what to > expect and how to deal with it. Still, I’d appreciate any tips or > useful experience that those of you who’ve already been through this > (especially the dads) could offer (i.e. "I never heard this before > he/she was born, but this really works…") on anything from comforting > a crying baby (or spouse), to how long dad should stay home after the > birth, to dealing with the sleep loss. > Thanks in advance! > –Excited, but just a little nervous… > Before you buy.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> OK folks, the big day is almost here; my wife and I are expecting our > first child (a girl) within the next two weeks, and I want to be as > involved, helpful and supportive as possible during the birth and over > the months to follow. We’ve been through the childbirth, babycare, > first-aid and breastfeeding classes, and read quite bit about what to > expect and how to deal with it. Still, I’d appreciate any tips or > useful experience that those of you who’ve already been through this > (especially the dads) could offer (i.e. "I never heard this before > he/she was born, but this really works…") on anything from comforting > a crying baby (or spouse), to how long dad should stay home after the > birth, to dealing with the sleep loss. > Thanks in advance! > –Excited, but just a little nervous…
Something my DH did for me that was absolutely the best thing–he never left me during labor/delivery. It was very hard on me, and he never let me get down on myself, always had postive things to say, got right in my face when he needed to, and let me scream & sear at thim as much as I needed to. After the babies were born, he kept letting me know that we can only do the best we can. We can’t be perfect or exact, we can only do our best.
Response:
You probably have heard what I will suggest before: be ready to take over whatever is necessary when your wife needs a break, whether or not she directly asks for it. New Moms [and probably new Dads] expect that they must do "it" alone and just "should" know how intuitively. This whole parenting thing is a learning event from start to finish [if there is a finish] and it is ok to admit not knowing much about it from the get go. I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciated my hubby when he’d take the sort of colicky screaming little person out of my arms and walk around outside in the night air and return with a much quieter baby [most of the time]. Ofcourse, it also made me feel somewhat incompetent, but I got over that! Congratulations on your little person. I hope that this adventure is mostly a wonderful and rewarding one full of *enjoyable* surprises. Children change your life forever and you are about to find that out in spades. I wouldn’t trade off the changes our short person brought to us for anything. -Aula, mom to Alexander, 4.5 yrs.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> OK folks, the big day is almost here; my wife and I are expecting our > first child (a girl) within the next two weeks, and I want to be as > involved, helpful and supportive as possible during the birth and over > the months to follow. We’ve been through the childbirth, babycare, > first-aid and breastfeeding classes, and read quite bit about what to > expect and how to deal with it. Still, I’d appreciate any tips or > useful experience that those of you who’ve already been through this > (especially the dads) could offer (i.e. "I never heard this before > he/she was born, but this really works…") on anything from comforting > a crying baby (or spouse), to how long dad should stay home after the > birth, to dealing with the sleep loss. > Thanks in advance! > –Excited, but just a little nervous… > Before you buy.
Response:
Can you help my husband as we’re having #4? <s> — Jackie M. P&PSAHM to three wonderful kids… … and due again December 17, 2000 "An eye for an eye makes everyone blind." –Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> OK folks, the big day is almost here; my wife and I are expecting our > first child (a girl) within the next two weeks, and I want to be as > involved, helpful and supportive as possible during the birth and over > the months to follow. We’ve been through the childbirth, babycare, > first-aid and breastfeeding classes, and read quite bit about what to > expect and how to deal with it. Still, I’d appreciate any tips or > useful experience that those of you who’ve already been through this > (especially the dads) could offer (i.e. "I never heard this before > he/she was born, but this really works…") on anything from comforting > a crying baby (or spouse), to how long dad should stay home after the > birth, to dealing with the sleep loss. > Thanks in advance! > –Excited, but just a little nervous… > Before you buy.
Response:
OK folks, the big day is almost here; my wife and I are expecting our first child (a girl) within the next two weeks, and I want to be as involved, helpful and supportive as possible during the birth and over the months to follow. We’ve been through the childbirth, babycare, first-aid and breastfeeding classes, and read quite bit about what to expect and how to deal with it. Still, I’d appreciate any tips or useful experience that those of you who’ve already been through this (especially the dads) could offer (i.e. "I never heard this before he/she was born, but this really works…") on anything from comforting a crying baby (or spouse), to how long dad should stay home after the birth, to dealing with the sleep loss. Thanks in advance! –Excited, but just a little nervous… Before you buy.
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