Pure Parents

Question:

Hi Debbie I’m fairly new to the group also.  I weaned my son John at 7 months to work on #2.  I got pregnant when he was 10 months.  While I was pregnant I worked on getting John to fall asleep on his own.  He had always needed me to rock him to sleep while I sang to him.  I still sing to both before bedtime but now leave to feed my daughter while he is still awake.  The first couple weeks after Amy was born was hard until I figured out their schedules.  A couple of time they both wanted to be fed at the same time. They are just a couple days short of 19 months apart.  John loves to help me.  He helps unload the dishwasher, dryer ect. and gets diapers for me. that makes him feel important.  He helps me teach Amy to sit, play patty cake, Dadadada, etc.  Instead of sitting in a rocker to feed her I had to move to the sofa so John could sit next to me and I could rub his head. We also had a lot more TV time than we had before she was born.  Got to go they are waking up.  Jeanne mother of John 2 and Amy 5 months – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Can any of you give me some ideas on how one learns to deal with > having a toddler and a new baby?  How do you juggle their needs at the > same time?  I will want to breastfeed the new baby and I know how much > time that takes now, so how do I take care of a toddler and breastfeed > at the same time?  I know it is something women have done for a long > time, but I would appreciate some initial tips & ideas.  Yes, my DH > does help out but I am a SAHM and he works. > I am sure you all will hear from me again and I would very much > appreciate hearing from you. > — > Debbie S. > http://www.debsdomicile.com

Response:

Congrats – you sound very happy!  My first son was very demanding of my time and I was concerned about the same thing when I was pregnant with the second.  I used to read to the toddler while I was breastfeeding the baby.  I also made frequent use of the Snugli for the baby (even if we were just playing at home) so my hands were free to play with the toddler.  Good luck and keep having fun!

Response:

Hi: Congratulations on your new baby!  I had my first at 34 and my second at 38. Concerning your dilemma:  IMO you may want to consider supplementing your second with formula.  He/she will get the benefits of breastfeeding, but you will have help in that your husband will be able to handle some feedings for you.  This will also help with the fatigue factor.  You will find that one of the biggest challenges in breastfeeding is making enough milk when you are exhausted (and you WILL be exhausted caring for a newborn and a toddler — you will be thrilled, enchanted, but exhausted nonetheless.  I found with my second that other family stresses were taxing me to the point where I weaned at 6 months.  I would have liked to nurse her longer, but felt that I was physically unable to given my other responsibilities (a jealous 4 1/2 yr old and a disabled husband).  The bottom line is that if your husband is supportive and helpful it can be done.  Also, a front baby carrier or sling will help you care for the baby while you do other things.  I found the Baby Bjorn wonderful! On another note, watch out for those hormonal mood swings if you decide to use infertility treatments to conceive again.  Take it easy and don’t sweat the small stuff! Best wishes, Ivy Shafer, mom to Martha (6) and Molly 19 months) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I am new to this list and wanted to introduce myself.  I am 41 with >one child, Daniel, who is just now 4 months old. >We are thrilled to have him and went through infertility treatment to >get him.  He is such a joy, I never knew I could be soooooo happy.  I >love parenting although I have a lot to learn & have been reading >books & stuff on the Net. >However, because of my age we are needing to start trying for our >second child early next year.  Unfortunately, I will not be able to >breastfeed Daniel as long as I would like to because of this.  (I do >not want to take fertility drugs and such while breastfeeding.)  I >have decided to pump and freeze my excess milk in a deep freeze where >it is supposed to last 6 months or longer so that I can continue to >give Daniel breast milk as long as I can. >Can any of you give me some ideas on how one learns to deal with >having a toddler and a new baby?  How do you juggle their needs at the >same time?  I will want to breastfeed the new baby and I know how much >time that takes now, so how do I take care of a toddler and breastfeed >at the same time?  I know it is something women have done for a long >time, but I would appreciate some initial tips & ideas.  Yes, my DH >does help out but I am a SAHM and he works. >I can get some help with the household cleaning chores, but I am not >one to have a nanny.  I enjoy taking care of my son & love every >minute of it.  (The last couple of days he has started "talking" to >himself a lot — it is soooooo cute!!!!) >I am sure you all will hear from me again and I would very much >appreciate hearing from you. >–

Response:

> Hi everyone, > I am new to this list and wanted to introduce myself.  I am 41 with > one child, Daniel, who is just now 4 months old.

Welcome and congratulations on your new baby! > Can any of you give me some ideas on how one learns to deal with > having a toddler and a new baby?  How do you juggle their needs at the > same time?  I will want to breastfeed the new baby and I know how much > time that takes now, so how do I take care of a toddler and breastfeed > at the same time?  I know it is something women have done for a long > time, but I would appreciate some initial tips & ideas.  Yes, my DH > does help out but I am a SAHM and he works.

You muddle through .  It helps if your second baby is an easy one (I was lucky that way, but then again I did have wildwoman-child toddler to contend with… she took a door OFF ITS HINGES at 18 months….).  Basically you carry the baby everywhere while you chase the toddler.  I would totally childproof at least one room in the house (I mean totally, not the kind of childproofing one usually does, I mean even eliminating furniture so toddler can’t climb on it, eleiminating any book besides board books or any magazines or other paper so toddler can’t choke on it…. basically a padded cell with lots of nice things (toys or tupperware doesn’t matter) for toddler to play with where you can hang out and nurse the baby. (I had lots of people say, oh, you can learn to read to the toddler while the baby is nursing…. um, not when the toddler won’t sit still a second. Anyway, it can be very hard at first, but after the early years, having two close in age can be a real joy.  I love to watch my daughters play together,  teach each other, and grow together.  The year they were 1 and 3 was pretty ghastly, but after that it’s been getting better every year.  (They’re 7 and 9 now, and oh, the ideas they come up with together!!!!) > I can get some help with the household cleaning chores, but I am not > one to have a nanny.  I enjoy taking care of my son & love every > minute of it.  (The last couple of days he has started "talking" to > himself a lot — it is soooooo cute!!!!)

I would strongly recommend getting some help when the second comes along, not to take over care but just to provide a second set of hand a few hours a day.  Needn’t be a nanny, since you’ll be right there… a 14 year old a couple hours after school would do fine. Enid Mom to Jane (9) and Polly Alice (7)

Response:

Hi everyone, I am new to this list and wanted to introduce myself.  I am 41 with one child, Daniel, who is just now 4 months old. We are thrilled to have him and went through infertility treatment to get him.  He is such a joy, I never knew I could be soooooo happy.  I love parenting although I have a lot to learn & have been reading books & stuff on the Net. However, because of my age we are needing to start trying for our second child early next year.  Unfortunately, I will not be able to breastfeed Daniel as long as I would like to because of this.  (I do not want to take fertility drugs and such while breastfeeding.)  I have decided to pump and freeze my excess milk in a deep freeze where it is supposed to last 6 months or longer so that I can continue to give Daniel breast milk as long as I can. Can any of you give me some ideas on how one learns to deal with having a toddler and a new baby?  How do you juggle their needs at the same time?  I will want to breastfeed the new baby and I know how much time that takes now, so how do I take care of a toddler and breastfeed at the same time?  I know it is something women have done for a long time, but I would appreciate some initial tips & ideas.  Yes, my DH does help out but I am a SAHM and he works. I can get some help with the household cleaning chores, but I am not one to have a nanny.  I enjoy taking care of my son & love every minute of it.  (The last couple of days he has started "talking" to himself a lot — it is soooooo cute!!!!) I am sure you all will hear from me again and I would very much appreciate hearing from you. — Debbie S. http://www.debsdomicile.com

Response: