Question:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– >>—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– >>>I didn’t raise any children at a time when a carseat was required, >>>but you should be able to move the buckle so she can’t reach it. >>>Steve >>They may not have been required, but they were around if your >>children are about the same age as mine or younger. >>Did you not think to use them? Just curious. My oldest is 30 and >>we used a carseat with him. >>Dorothy >My oldest is 28 and we were from Illinois, where there was no >mandatory child seat law. And then by the time we moved to >California they didn’t have any such law for our youngest. >Steve >That wasn’t what I asked. I asked if you used them even though there >was no law about it. >We did. >Dorothy
They weren’t the law, none of our peers had them, they were expensive, nobody could afford them, they cost a week’s food for a family of 4. They were a yuppie toy, like a minivan. Steve
Response:
> Steve, > I would love to find a safe carseat that she cannot get herself out of! We > are "carseat poor" at the moment from having tried three different styles of > car seats and buckles. If you know of some that are good please let me > know. > Nique
I have a Century "Room to Grow" seat. Basically it has a padded arm, or overhead shield, that goes in down and latches in the front of the seat. I have been thinking about your question, and I don’t think that my daughter could unbuckle it. If she is buckled in properly, she would not be able to reach forward far enough to push the button to unlatch it. I found a site that has a picture and a "review" of the seat: http://www.epinions.com/kifm-Baby_Equipment-Car_Seats-All-Century_SE_… d Good luck! Jennifer
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >Not really. If the little girl hears what could happen when she > >unbuckles herself WHEN she unbuckles herself it is not removed at all > >from the action. > >And no little kid wants to go to bed early. > >She knows she has to go to bed everynight, but earlier than she’s > >supposed to? > >She’ll be sure to pass that by. > >Actually it will make her NOT want to do whatever it was that got her > >sent there earlier than usual. > Three year olds don’t have an adequate sense of time to anticipate that. >A three year old doesn’t need a sense of time know they don’t want to >go to bed early.
That’s a year from now to a 3 y/o. Don’t be stupid. > And threatening something distant and unrelated to the seatbelt is wrong. >Oh yeah, you want the mother to use a lock and key to keep the little >girl in the carseat.
What was done heretofore was to put the child in something they could not yet get out of. How is this different? >That’ll look real good to a cop if they ever get pulled over.
A cop won’t care. Infants can’t get out of them either. >Don’t teach her she needs to keep buckled in.
You’re fishing, ignorantly too. >Just lock her up!
You’re over the top, you need a rest. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >> I can’t think of a more terrible idea! > >How bout a few hard slaps on the behind? > >Lots of parents would do that. > Those parents are wrong and need to be jailed. > >How bout screaming at her? > >Lots of parents would do that. > That’s not reasonable adult behavior. > >Is telling her she might go to bed earlier than normal sounding > >better? > >I used that with my two kids and it worked great. > You think it worked "great" because you got to show your kids how much you > hated them and take revenge on them long before they understood why they > were being abused that way. You did this because of your own cruel vicious > psychopathology from being terribly abused as a child and always having > wanted desperately to get back at somebody, anybody, for doing that to > you!! In other words, you’re a fucking sickie, BUD!! >Did that feel good?
That isn’t important. It’s the truth. > >I only had to say, "If you do that again…" and my kids would finish > >the sentence for me, "I know, I’ll have to go to bed early." > >And whatever it was that they were doing, stopped. > And they never ever loved or trusted you and don’t speak to you now. > If you pretend that they do you’re just a fucking liar who’s prating. >Do you think you’re psychic?
I don’t even need to be to tell who YOU are and why. You act like it’s fucking written on your forehead. You’re like an idiot wearing a sign that says "idiot". – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >And if she wants to crawl around the car for half an hour? > >Climb into the front seat? > >Play with the radio? > >Use the cellphone? > >Honey! Whenever you’re ready we’ll be on our way. Let me know when you > >want to get back in your car seat. We’ll all just wait for you. You’re > >in control. > >"She’s old enough to understand this." > >You’ve got that right. > >You must have all the time in the world. > >Thanks for your post, Dan > You’re so frightened of a small child taking advantage of you that you > can’t even spit, you sad little wretch. To you any situation in which you > don’t get to impose your will by cruelty and viciousness you think that > YOU’RE being abused again, after having the snot beaten out of you in your > desperately abused youth. You have no ability to see a larger picture, nor > any reserve of patience and understanding from which to draw. You never > explain, you abuse, you never discuss, you abuse, you never love, you > abuse. People like you need to be harmed yet somemore if you even TRY to > visit your viciousness now as an adult upon a child, just to frighten you > out of it, since it is all that YOU understand clearly!! >Well isn’t that special. >The Spiro Agnew of LSD speaks.
You look like a fool, this has nothing to do with Agnew. And for you to say "LSD" is no more than hysterical name-dropping. You don’t even know what it is. You’re like a 15th century cleric saying "heresy". I knew you couldn’t do any better than that. > With people like you it’s all about your convenience, and you resent anyone > else ever having a convenient situation occur for them!! This is all true > because you had something really important inside you DAMAGED! You are now > defective, and your kind should be kept away from the lives of children to > live out your days and die taking your abject viciousness and cruelty with > you for good and always, instead of passing your disease to another > generation of children! > Steve >I can’t tell you how much what you post means to me. >And from the responses from the other people on the NG, how much what >you post means to all of them.
You can barely speak. >How does it feel to have everybody who reads what you post think that >you’re nothing but an insignificant joke?
You can’t speak at all. Steve
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Not really. If the little girl hears what could happen when she >unbuckles herself WHEN she unbuckles herself it is not removed at all >from the action. >And no little kid wants to go to bed early. >She knows she has to go to bed everynight, but earlier than she’s >supposed to? >She’ll be sure to pass that by. >Actually it will make her NOT want to do whatever it was that got her >sent there earlier than usual. > Three year olds don’t have an adequate sense of time to anticipate that.
A three year old doesn’t need a sense of time know they don’t want to go to bed early. > And threatening something distant and unrelated to the seatbelt is wrong.
Oh yeah, you want the mother to use a lock and key to keep the little girl in the carseat. That’ll look real good to a cop if they ever get pulled over. Don’t teach her she needs to keep buckled in. Just lock her up! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> I can’t think of a more terrible idea! >How bout a few hard slaps on the behind? >Lots of parents would do that. > Those parents are wrong and need to be jailed. >How bout screaming at her? >Lots of parents would do that. > That’s not reasonable adult behavior. >Is telling her she might go to bed earlier than normal sounding >better? >I used that with my two kids and it worked great. > You think it worked "great" because you got to show your kids how much you > hated them and take revenge on them long before they understood why they > were being abused that way. You did this because of your own cruel vicious > psychopathology from being terribly abused as a child and always having > wanted desperately to get back at somebody, anybody, for doing that to > you!! In other words, you’re a fucking sickie, BUD!!
Did that feel good? >I only had to say, "If you do that again…" and my kids would finish >the sentence for me, "I know, I’ll have to go to bed early." >And whatever it was that they were doing, stopped. > And they never ever loved or trusted you and don’t speak to you now. > If you pretend that they do you’re just a fucking liar who’s prating.
Do you think you’re psychic? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->And if she wants to crawl around the car for half an hour? >Climb into the front seat? >Play with the radio? >Use the cellphone? >Honey! Whenever you’re ready we’ll be on our way. Let me know when you >want to get back in your car seat. We’ll all just wait for you. You’re >in control. >"She’s old enough to understand this." >You’ve got that right. >You must have all the time in the world. >Thanks for your post, Dan > You’re so frightened of a small child taking advantage of you that you > can’t even spit, you sad little wretch. To you any situation in which you > don’t get to impose your will by cruelty and viciousness you think that > YOU’RE being abused again, after having the snot beaten out of you in your > desperately abused youth. You have no ability to see a larger picture, nor > any reserve of patience and understanding from which to draw. You never > explain, you abuse, you never discuss, you abuse, you never love, you > abuse. People like you need to be harmed yet somemore if you even TRY to > visit your viciousness now as an adult upon a child, just to frighten you > out of it, since it is all that YOU understand clearly!!
Well isn’t that special. The Spiro Agnew of LSD speaks. > With people like you it’s all about your convenience, and you resent anyone > else ever having a convenient situation occur for them!! This is all true > because you had something really important inside you DAMAGED! You are now > defective, and your kind should be kept away from the lives of children to > live out your days and die taking your abject viciousness and cruelty with > you for good and always, instead of passing your disease to another > generation of children! > Steve
I can’t tell you how much what you post means to me. And from the responses from the other people on the NG, how much what you post means to all of them. How does it feel to have everybody who reads what you post think that you’re nothing but an insignificant joke? LOL as usual! Thanks for your post, Dan
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– >I didn’t raise any children at a time when a carseat was required, >but you should be able to move the buckle so she can’t reach it. >Steve >They may not have been required, but they were around if your >children are about the same age as mine or younger. >Did you not think to use them? Just curious. My oldest is 30 and >we used a carseat with him. >Dorothy
My oldest is 28 and we were from Illinois, where there was no mandatory child seat law. And then by the time we moved to California they didn’t have any such law for our youngest. Steve
Response:
> My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the carseat. > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail:
Nique, When my DD started unbuckling her car seat, I simply turned the bottom clasp thing around backwards so that the red button was facing down instead of up….I was still able to get my fingers in the right place to unbuckle it easily, but it made it too hard for her to manuver and get it unbuckled. Hopefully, if you do this for a couple of weeks or so she’ll lose interest in the unbuckling trick. BTW, I think what you did so far was good way to deal with it, sharp turns and all. Even if it didn’t seem to make an impression on her, it might have. Tracey in CT
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > > My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. > As > a > > > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the > carseat. > > > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > > > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther > until > > > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot > have > her > > > all over the car, so we have to stop. > > > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > > > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, > DH or > > > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > > > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car > seat, we > > > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she > could > > > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She > did > not > > > seem to care either way. > > > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am > worried > > > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and > then > > > something terrible will happen. > > > Any suggestions on this one appreciated. > > Hey Nique, > > Tell her if she does it again she’ll be sent to bed early because she > > didn’t stay buckled up. > > If you have to send her to bed early a time or two she’ll get the > > message. > > All the best, Dan > Sending her to bed early is greatly removed from unbuckling herself, both > in > time and in action. Not to mention that this is a great way to make her > hate > going to bed. I can’t think of a more terrible idea! OK, I can, but it > takes some effort. > How about simply stopping the car. The car seat is directly related to > riding safely in the car. Pull over and the care doesn’t move again until > she’s sitting in her seat. No disucssions, no threats, just a simple > statement. She’s old enough to understand this. > Lisa, In my OP, I noted that we definitely do that, I will not drive unless > they are buckled in, but the pulling over needs to stop. It does help > sometimes to have her entertained in the seat, but it is limited. In > addition, there are times when it is very difficult to pull over and stop > the car. Sometimes the pulling over is just as dangerous. I do it anyway, > but it is really becoming unnerving. If I could find one, I would like to > find a carseat that she cannot get herself out of, but as yet I have not > found one. So I am searching for a solution to get her not to unbuckle > herself. > Nique
I was thinking about this while doing some yardwork earlier today. What about giving her an example. If you’re willing take some water-filled balloons and put them in the back seat. Put her back there too, and make sure that there’s someone else with her to make sure she stays buckled. Find a nice large, empty parking lot and explain to her that the balloons are like people without their seatbelts on. Get the car going to a good speed (even 25 mph will do) and then stop suddenly. Let her see the balloons fly to the front of the car and splatter all over. Yes this is graphic, and yes it may be scary. She needs to understand why you want her to stay bucked. Kids this age can be very concrete in their thinking (i.e. the car isn’t stopping suddenly now so why should I worry). Let her know that this can happen very suddenly if there’s an accident or some danger on the road. Let her know that you don’t want her to go flying and splatter all over the front of the car and that’s why she has a car seat. Let her know that you wear your seatbelt for the same reason (and you do wear yours don’t you).
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > > My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. > As > a > > > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the > carseat. > > > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > > > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther > until > > > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot > have > her > > > all over the car, so we have to stop. > > > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > > > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, > DH or > > > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > > > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car > seat, we > > > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she > could > > > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She > did > not > > > seem to care either way. > > > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am > worried > > > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and > then > > > something terrible will happen. > > > Any suggestions on this one appreciated. > > Hey Nique, > > Tell her if she does it again she’ll be sent to bed early because she > > didn’t stay buckled up. > > If you have to send her to bed early a time or two she’ll get the > > message. > > All the best, Dan > Sending her to bed early is greatly removed from unbuckling herself, both > in > time and in action. Not to mention that this is a great way to make her > hate > going to bed. I can’t think of a more terrible idea! OK, I can, but it > takes some effort. > How about simply stopping the car. The car seat is directly related to > riding safely in the car. Pull over and the care doesn’t move again until > she’s sitting in her seat. No disucssions, no threats, just a simple > statement. She’s old enough to understand this. > Lisa, In my OP, I noted that we definitely do that, I will not drive unless > they are buckled in, but the pulling over needs to stop. It does help > sometimes to have her entertained in the seat, but it is limited. In > addition, there are times when it is very difficult to pull over and stop > the car. Sometimes the pulling over is just as dangerous. I do it anyway, > but it is really becoming unnerving. If I could find one, I would like to > find a carseat that she cannot get herself out of, but as yet I have not > found one. So I am searching for a solution to get her not to unbuckle > herself. > Nique
Check with OT departments at local rehab centers. I know that there are such devices for mentally handicpapped children.
Response:
> Nan, > No she is my "bitty baby", she is still too little for the booster seats. > Well, I suppose she is exactly on the low end of the booster seats (she is > 30lbs.), so I am not sure, we may look into some of those though. I am going > to do some searching for the devices that cover the locking mechanism that > Wendy suggested in her post. I had never seen those. So off I go to the > Babies R Us site to do some surfing there. > Thanks > Nique
If you have any luck finding something, I’d appreciate a link 
I can easily anticipate my 2.2 yo trying something like this in the future. I have seen booster seats that are for 20 lb. children, but I believe they should stay in a carseat as long as possible, myself. ~Nan~
Response:
>> How about simply stopping the car. The car seat is directly related to > riding safely in the car. Pull over and the care doesn’t move again until > she’s sitting in her seat. No disucssions, no threats, just a simple > statement. She’s old enough to understand this. >That’s what I do. Direct consequences and all that.
Don’t be a sickie, Wendy. If a child doesn’t understand the reason for a seatbelt then they are also too young to understand any of your coercive viciousness as well and how it relates. And if they are old enough to you won’t HAVE to!! Thinking that you have some "right" to abuse children for what they cannot grasp is a sick attitude. > I might mention >(okay, "lecture") about how inconvenient it is not to be able to >resume our journey, and I might demand compliance for safety’s sake, >but I’d deal with it on the side of the road, not hours later.
There’s nothing wrong about talking about the need for safety, but it is totally separate and distinct from simply placing them back in their seat and driving on. They might understand the lecture after they are old enough, but it’s unrelated at the time. >This works for kids fighting in the car, too. >Wendy, Mummy to Caroline (11), Gary (9) and Samuel (3) who bought a >minivan with three seats across the middle to get a "demiltarized >zone" by taking out the middle seat. :-)
Pulling over without explanation works fine for that with your older ones. Steve
Response:
This came up with each of my girls when they were 2yo. Not that they could ever open their buckles themselves (you must have a very strong girls or a very loose buckle!) but they’d writhe and refuse to buckle in until it became a huge ordeal to get into the car. With my first – somebody on one of the parenting groups suggested I let my daughter get in unbuckled and do a sharp stop so she’d fall off her seat – which seemed to me to be rather harsh and I was truly afraid I might not be able to control how much she was hurt in such an exercise. Fatefully, however, just a few weeks later, I had a horrible lapse of concentration (I was discussing something with my mom while we got into the car and I totally forgot to buckle my daughter in)… first turn off our small street I braked and she fell off her seat onto the floor. She was shaken, though not hurt, and we’ve never had a belt problem with her again. She knows exactly why we need the belts and is enthusiastic about co-operating – in fact she is the seatbelt police of the family now and makes sure everyone is securely buckled before we move. We had a similar problem with my youngest a month or two ago. She would not listen however many times I explained to her she would fall and "bonk" herself if she didn’t strap in. She’d just scream and writhe to avoid being tied down. So, I have to admit that one day I got tired of it and let her sit unstrapped, drove a few yards and braked enough for her to jerk forwards and knock her head on the rubber headrest of the front seat. She wasn’t bruised or anything but the shock factor was enough. She now gets into the car, pats the head guard and says "bonk" and I agree we must use our belts so we don’t get bonked. Then she climbs cheerfully into her seat, puts her arms in the straps and helps me buckle. I don’t know that I’m recommending you do what we did, especially with an older 3yo (if she’s strong enough to unbuckle perhaps she is big enough for a booster instead of a carseat?) and when you might try bribery (special toys/tapes etc) first, as well as a buckle lock, but perhaps as a last resort, if nothing else works. Regarding buckle locks, Penny Gaines posted this recently in mk: At www.gltc.co.uk you can get a cover for the seat belt buckle – I don’t know whether that might be of use: It is product G1102 This handy plastic clip fits over any ordinary seat-belt buckle and is designed to help prevent the accidental release of the seat belt by small children but will NOT hinder the buckle in the event of an emergency. Can be fitted and removed in seconds by adults. Good luck! –Lisabell
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the > carseat. > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther until > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have > her > all over the car, so we have to stop. > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, DH > or > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car seat, > we > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she > could > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did > not > seem to care either way. > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then > something terrible will happen. > Any suggestions on this one appreciated. > Nique > Nique, I haven’t had any luck searching out the product I’d mentioned in my > previous post. > I am wondering though… is she big enough to be in a booster seat yet? > There are models of booster seats available that utilize your car seat > belts/shoulder harness, iirc. It might be easier to devise a way to keep > her buckled in, using your automobile seatbelts. > ~Nan~
Nan, No she is my "bitty baby", she is still too little for the booster seats. Well, I suppose she is exactly on the low end of the booster seats (she is 30lbs.), so I am not sure, we may look into some of those though. I am going to do some searching for the devices that cover the locking mechanism that Wendy suggested in her post. I had never seen those. So off I go to the Babies R Us site to do some surfing there. Thanks Nique
Response:
>Not really. If the little girl hears what could happen when she >unbuckles herself WHEN she unbuckles herself it is not removed at all >from the action. >And no little kid wants to go to bed early. >She knows she has to go to bed everynight, but earlier than she’s >supposed to? >She’ll be sure to pass that by. >Actually it will make her NOT want to do whatever it was that got her >sent there earlier than usual.
Three year olds don’t have an adequate sense of time to anticipate that. And threatening something distant and unrelated to the seatbelt is wrong. > I can’t think of a more terrible idea! >How bout a few hard slaps on the behind? >Lots of parents would do that.
Those parents are wrong and need to be jailed. >How bout screaming at her? >Lots of parents would do that.
That’s not reasonable adult behavior. >Is telling her she might go to bed earlier than normal sounding >better? >I used that with my two kids and it worked great.
You think it worked "great" because you got to show your kids how much you hated them and take revenge on them long before they understood why they were being abused that way. You did this because of your own cruel vicious psychopathology from being terribly abused as a child and always having wanted desperately to get back at somebody, anybody, for doing that to you!! In other words, you’re a fucking sickie, BUD!! >I only had to say, "If you do that again…" and my kids would finish >the sentence for me, "I know, I’ll have to go to bed early." >And whatever it was that they were doing, stopped.
And they never ever loved or trusted you and don’t speak to you now. If you pretend that they do you’re just a fucking liar who’s prating. >And if she wants to crawl around the car for half an hour? >Climb into the front seat? >Play with the radio? >Use the cellphone? >Honey! Whenever you’re ready we’ll be on our way. Let me know when you >want to get back in your car seat. We’ll all just wait for you. You’re >in control. >"She’s old enough to understand this." >You’ve got that right. >You must have all the time in the world. >Thanks for your post, Dan
You’re so frightened of a small child taking advantage of you that you can’t even spit, you sad little wretch. To you any situation in which you don’t get to impose your will by cruelty and viciousness you think that YOU’RE being abused again, after having the snot beaten out of you in your desperately abused youth. You have no ability to see a larger picture, nor any reserve of patience and understanding from which to draw. You never explain, you abuse, you never discuss, you abuse, you never love, you abuse. People like you need to be harmed yet somemore if you even TRY to visit your viciousness now as an adult upon a child, just to frighten you out of it, since it is all that YOU understand clearly!! With people like you it’s all about your convenience, and you resent anyone else ever having a convenient situation occur for them!! This is all true because you had something really important inside you DAMAGED! You are now defective, and your kind should be kept away from the lives of children to live out your days and die taking your abject viciousness and cruelty with you for good and always, instead of passing your disease to another generation of children! Steve
Response:
>Steve, >I would love to find a safe carseat that she cannot get herself out of! We >are "carseat poor" at the moment from having tried three different styles of >car seats and buckles. If you know of some that are good please let me >know. >Nique
I didn’t raise any children at a time when a carseat was required, but you should be able to move the buckle so she can’t reach it. Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >> My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. >As a > >> result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the >carseat. > >> Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > >> When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther >until > >> she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have >her > >> all over the car, so we have to stop. > >> We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > >> We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, >DH or > >> her sister in the car without being buckled up. > >> We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car >seat, we > >> did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she >could > >> get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did >not > >> seem to care either way. > >> I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am >worried > >> that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and >then > >> something terrible will happen. > >> Any suggestions on this one appreciated. > >Hey Nique, > >Tell her if she does it again she’ll be sent to bed early because she > >didn’t stay buckled up. > >If you have to send her to bed early a time or two she’ll get the > >message. > >All the best, Dan > That’s stupid and abusive. If you belted her in to the seat to keep her > there because she couldn’t grasp the danger, than all you failed to do > was used good enough locking buckles. Get some with keys. Just do what you > set out to do in the first place, lock her in. It’s not a bit different > than what you HAD been doing, you just used pitiful latches. > Steve
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the carseat. > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther until > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have her > all over the car, so we have to stop. > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, DH or > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car seat, we > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she could > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did not > seem to care either way. > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then > something terrible will happen. > Any suggestions on this one appreciated. > Nique
Nique, I haven’t had any luck searching out the product I’d mentioned in my previous post. I am wondering though… is she big enough to be in a booster seat yet? There are models of booster seats available that utilize your car seat belts/shoulder harness, iirc. It might be easier to devise a way to keep her buckled in, using your automobile seatbelts. ~Nan~
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> How about simply stopping the car. The car seat is directly related to > riding safely in the car. Pull over and the care doesn’t move again until > she’s sitting in her seat. No disucssions, no threats, just a simple > statement. She’s old enough to understand this.
That’s what I do. Direct consequences and all that. I might mention (okay, "lecture") about how inconvenient it is not to be able to resume our journey, and I might demand compliance for safety’s sake, but I’d deal with it on the side of the road, not hours later. This works for kids fighting in the car, too. Wendy, Mummy to Caroline (11), Gary (9) and Samuel (3) who bought a minivan with three seats across the middle to get a "demiltarized zone" by taking out the middle seat. :-)
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Hi Nique, My DD figured out her buckle all by herself during a trip last fall. I was driving in hard rain through Cincinatti of all places when she popped up in my rear view mirror. I almost had a heart attack! I understand your frustration. I pulled over and wrapped some string around the locking button in that case and when I got home, we bought a new seat with a five point harness and a plastic slip cover that goes over the locking mechanism. I recommend Babies-R-Us for those kind of attachments for the seat you already have. I don’t think any amount of explination or the idiotic suggestion of punishment is going to help. They are too small and simply need to be a car seat that will keep them safe – no ifs, ands or buts. On the lighter side, you’ve already been given a good indication of some fine motor skill prowess – not necessarily a bad thing at all…*S* The *understanding* of the importance of a seat belt and the consequences without one is probably best left for when she is old enough to graduate from a car seat. At that point just not moving the car until everyone is buckled up should be status quo. Sedona
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the carseat. > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther until > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have her > all over the car, so we have to stop. > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, DH or > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car seat, we > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she could > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did not > seem to care either way. > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then > something terrible will happen. > Any suggestions on this one appreciated. > Nique
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hey Nique, > Tell her if she does it again she’ll be sent to bed early because she > didn’t stay buckled up. > If you have to send her to bed early a time or two she’ll get the > message. > All the best, Dan > Sending her to bed early is greatly removed from unbuckling herself, both in > time and in action.
Not really. If the little girl hears what could happen when she unbuckles herself WHEN she unbuckles herself it is not removed at all from the action. And no little kid wants to go to bed early. She knows she has to go to bed everynight, but earlier than she’s supposed to? She’ll be sure to pass that by. > Not to mention that this is a great way to make her hate going to bed.
Actually it will make her NOT want to do whatever it was that got her sent there earlier than usual. > I can’t think of a more terrible idea!
How bout a few hard slaps on the behind? Lots of parents would do that. How bout screaming at her? Lots of parents would do that. Is telling her she might go to bed earlier than normal sounding better? I used that with my two kids and it worked great. I only had to say, "If you do that again…" and my kids would finish the sentence for me, "I know, I’ll have to go to bed early." And whatever it was that they were doing, stopped. > OK, I can, but it takes some effort. > How about simply stopping the car. The car seat is directly related to > riding safely in the car. Pull over and the care doesn’t move again until > she’s sitting in her seat. No disucssions, no threats, just a simple > statement. She’s old enough to understand this.
And if she wants to crawl around the car for half an hour? Climb into the front seat? Play with the radio? Use the cellphone? Honey! Whenever you’re ready we’ll be on our way. Let me know when you want to get back in your car seat. We’ll all just wait for you. You’re in control. "She’s old enough to understand this." You’ve got that right. You must have all the time in the world. Thanks for your post, Dan
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As > a > > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the > carseat. > > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther > until > > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have > her > > all over the car, so we have to stop. > > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, > DH or > > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car > seat, we > > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she > could > > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did > not > > seem to care either way. > > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried > > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then > > something terrible will happen. > > Any suggestions on this one appreciated. > Hey Nique, > Tell her if she does it again she’ll be sent to bed early because she > didn’t stay buckled up. > If you have to send her to bed early a time or two she’ll get the > message. > All the best, Dan > Sending her to bed early is greatly removed from unbuckling herself, both in > time and in action. Not to mention that this is a great way to make her hate > going to bed. I can’t think of a more terrible idea! OK, I can, but it > takes some effort. > How about simply stopping the car. The car seat is directly related to > riding safely in the car. Pull over and the care doesn’t move again until > she’s sitting in her seat. No disucssions, no threats, just a simple > statement. She’s old enough to understand this.
Lisa, In my OP, I noted that we definitely do that, I will not drive unless they are buckled in, but the pulling over needs to stop. It does help sometimes to have her entertained in the seat, but it is limited. In addition, there are times when it is very difficult to pull over and stop the car. Sometimes the pulling over is just as dangerous. I do it anyway, but it is really becoming unnerving. If I could find one, I would like to find a carseat that she cannot get herself out of, but as yet I have not found one. So I am searching for a solution to get her not to unbuckle herself. Nique
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Steve, I would love to find a safe carseat that she cannot get herself out of! We are "carseat poor" at the moment from having tried three different styles of car seats and buckles. If you know of some that are good please let me know. Nique – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a >> result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the carseat. >> Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: >> When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther until >> she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have her >> all over the car, so we have to stop. >> We have talked to her about why it is not safe. >> We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, DH or >> her sister in the car without being buckled up. >> We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car seat, we >> did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she could >> get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did not >> seem to care either way. >> I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried >> that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then >> something terrible will happen. >> Any suggestions on this one appreciated. >Hey Nique, >Tell her if she does it again she’ll be sent to bed early because she >didn’t stay buckled up. >If you have to send her to bed early a time or two she’ll get the >message. >All the best, Dan > That’s stupid and abusive. If you belted her in to the seat to keep her > there because she couldn’t grasp the danger, than all you failed to do > was used good enough locking buckles. Get some with keys. Just do what you > set out to do in the first place, lock her in. It’s not a bit different > than what you HAD been doing, you just used pitiful latches. > Steve
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the carseat. > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther until > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have her > all over the car, so we have to stop. > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, DH or > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car seat, we > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she could > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did not > seem to care either way. > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then > something terrible will happen. > Any suggestions on this one appreciated. > Hey Nique, > Tell her if she does it again she’ll be sent to bed early because she > didn’t stay buckled up. > If you have to send her to bed early a time or two she’ll get the > message. > All the best, Dan
Sending her to bed early is greatly removed from unbuckling herself, both in time and in action. Not to mention that this is a great way to make her hate going to bed. I can’t think of a more terrible idea! OK, I can, but it takes some effort. How about simply stopping the car. The car seat is directly related to riding safely in the car. Pull over and the care doesn’t move again until she’s sitting in her seat. No disucssions, no threats, just a simple statement. She’s old enough to understand this.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the carseat. > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther until > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have her > all over the car, so we have to stop. > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, DH or > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car seat, we > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she could > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did not > seem to care either way. > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then > something terrible will happen. > Any suggestions on this one appreciated. >Hey Nique, >Tell her if she does it again she’ll be sent to bed early because she >didn’t stay buckled up. >If you have to send her to bed early a time or two she’ll get the >message. >All the best, Dan
That’s stupid and abusive. If you belted her in to the seat to keep her there because she couldn’t grasp the danger, than all you failed to do was used good enough locking buckles. Get some with keys. Just do what you set out to do in the first place, lock her in. It’s not a bit different than what you HAD been doing, you just used pitiful latches. Steve
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the carseat. > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther until > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have her > all over the car, so we have to stop. > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, DH or > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car seat, we > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she could > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did not > seem to care either way. > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then > something terrible will happen. > Any suggestions on this one appreciated.
Hey Nique, Tell her if she does it again she’ll be sent to bed early because she didn’t stay buckled up. If you have to send her to bed early a time or two she’ll get the message. All the best, Dan
Response:
My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the carseat. Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther until she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have her all over the car, so we have to stop. We have talked to her about why it is not safe. We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, DH or her sister in the car without being buckled up. We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car seat, we did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she could get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did not seem to care either way. I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then something terrible will happen. Any suggestions on this one appreciated. Nique
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My 3yo has recently learned how to unbuckle herself from her carseat. As a > result, we are now going through a battle trying to keep her in the carseat. > Here is what I have tried so far to no avail: > When she unbuckles herself, we pull over and will not go any farther until > she is safely back in the carseat. This is a must because I cannot have her > all over the car, so we have to stop. > We have talked to her about why it is not safe. > We are DEFINITELY positive role models for her, she never sees myself, DH or > her sister in the car without being buckled up. > We took her to an empty parking lot and when she was out of the car seat, we > did a few sharp turns and sudden stops to demonstrate to her that she could > get hurt. We did the same turns and stops with her buckled in. She did not > seem to care either way. > I am at a loss on this one. I have to have her buckled in and am worried > that she is going to unbuckle the straps and I will not know it and then > something terrible will happen. > Any suggestions on this one appreciated. > Nique
At 3, lecturing and demonstrations aren’t going to have much effect. The last time this issue was raised, I thought someone had posted a link or information about a product that can be put over the buckle of the carseat. Alas, I wasn’t paying much attention and didn’t save the info. I’ll try a google search later and see if I can come up with something. ~Nan~
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