Question:
>Hi, everyone, >I, myself have a six years old girl. One of my friend who doesn’t have >kid and doesn’t want to have any kid always ask me how can working parent >afford to have kid. I don’t understand why some people are so afraid of >having children and working full time. Can someone out there help me >figure it out. Kids are adorable!!!! >Meg.
All I can say is I’m glad I was between jobs when our baby was born. It was a full time job for both of us to try to keep up with the unfimilier demands of parenting. We were up when the baby was up, we napped when ever the baby napped. Once we settled into a routine it got better. Once the baby started sleeing through the night it got down right heavely. Now, 20 months latter, things have settled down. Know what? Every one says that having a baby was the best thing that happend to me. Gordon, Julie’s dad. Receipt of unsolicited e-mail will result in legal action pursuant to applicable federal laws. Translation: NO SPAM! or else. (2 Spammers down, and counting) Specific single replies to this posting are OK.
Response:
> Gordon, Julie’s dad.
Funny that almost all comment is based on what is good for you as a parent or what you believe is good enough for your child. As a happy father of 5 kids (20yrs to 3,5 yrs) I wonder Are the children having fun? for thats wat matters. All people ar equal but every child is unique in its own needs. Some of our children spent more time at home, others more at the daycare centre. There is no right or wrong, there’s only the question of looking at your child, listening to his or her (often non-verbal) messages and than take responsability for your own choice. When one of my boys had to go to hospital for two months I was very happy for him that he was used to the caring love of other adults.Our children have over a hundred languages but we stole 99 from them (Loris Malaguzzi) let’s give them back what is theirs. Aad de Booij (sorry for my english, but I’m dutch) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Receipt of unsolicited e-mail will result in > legal action pursuant to applicable federal laws. > Translation: NO SPAM! or else. (2 Spammers down, and counting) > Specific single replies to this posting are OK.
Response:
> > I’ve seen the products of full-time daycare, and I’m not impressed. > I worked> full time, had a beautiful baby girl and she attended full time day care > from the age of 6 mo ( > There is nothing more satisfying or incredible than having children. And > yes you are quite right that people must be prepared to rase their children > properly. But it is grossly unfair to state that the only way is your way. > Your comments on the "products of full time day care" are way out of line.
Everyone has brought up some big issues on how to raise children. As a mother of two, I waited until my children were 18 months before putting them in daycare and then it was just two days a week for a half day. I firmly believe that babies should spend as much of their early development with a parent. However, as some of these posts reveal, that is not always possible and parents must make hard decisions on choosing a caregiver for their child. There is an interesting article in ParentTime (with whom I work) on how young is too young for daycare. According to the article, 57% of new mothers now place their babies in daycare before their first birthday. Despite the debate, there is no conclusive evidence that daycare can be harmful to a child’s development. The key is to find the right daycare and while hard to find, those places do exist. ParentTime provides advice and tips on what to look for in a daycare as well as places to get more information on daycare in your area. You can find the article at: http://www.pathfinder.com/r0/ParentTime/ngs/in?/ParentTime/homepage/h… age.baby.html (Type DayCare in the Search bar to find the article) What do others think about this issue? Judy
Response:
AMEN MARY JO!!!!!
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Mike >I have to believe that you just have a strange sense of humour and enjoy >baiting people and do not really believe what you said. > I’ve seen the products of full-time daycare, and I’m not impressed. > Those kids will definitely make their mark in the world with their > aggressiveness and selfishness, at the expense of their humanity. > People who are not prepared to raise kids properly simply should not > have them. > I took, what I am sure you will perceive as a wicked path…. I worked >full time, had a beautiful baby girl and she attended full time day care >from the age of 6 mo ( I had a live out nanny up to that point). And let me >just add another nasty element for you…. I did it as a single parent! >There is nothing more satisfying or incredible than having children. And >yes you are quite right that people must be prepared to rase their children >properly. But it is grossly unfair to state that the only way is your way. >Your comments on the "products of full time day care" are way out of line. >If you are confusing independance and positive self esteem with >agressiveness and selfishness, so be it. I am the proud mother of a >vibrant, intelligent, independent and compassionate 9 yr old girl. I would >not change a thing in her upbringing. >I only hope that during your "quality time" spent with your children all >these years, you have not instilled your obvious narrow mindedness. If so, >how sad for your kids…, because that is truly a handicap in this >wonderful world of differences. >MJ
Response:
Mike I have to believe that you just have a strange sense of humour and enjoy baiting people and do not really believe what you said. > I’ve seen the products of full-time daycare, and I’m not impressed. > Those kids will definitely make their mark in the world with their > aggressiveness and selfishness, at the expense of their humanity. > People who are not prepared to raise kids properly simply should not > have them.
I took, what I am sure you will perceive as a wicked path…. I worked full time, had a beautiful baby girl and she attended full time day care from the age of 6 mo ( I had a live out nanny up to that point). And let me just add another nasty element for you…. I did it as a single parent! There is nothing more satisfying or incredible than having children. And yes you are quite right that people must be prepared to rase their children properly. But it is grossly unfair to state that the only way is your way. Your comments on the "products of full time day care" are way out of line. If you are confusing independance and positive self esteem with agressiveness and selfishness, so be it. I am the proud mother of a vibrant, intelligent, independent and compassionate 9 yr old girl. I would not change a thing in her upbringing. I only hope that during your "quality time" spent with your children all these years, you have not instilled your obvious narrow mindedness. If so, how sad for your kids…, because that is truly a handicap in this wonderful world of differences. MJ
Response:
>Mike >I have to believe that you just have a strange sense of humour and enjoy >baiting people and do not really believe what you said.
Sorry, I meant every word. No flame-bait, just my opinion. Not politically correct, but my opinion just the same. > I took, what I am sure you will perceive as a wicked path…. I worked >full time, had a beautiful baby girl and she attended full time day care >from the age of 6 mo ( I had a live out nanny up to that point). And let me >just add another nasty element for you…. I did it as a single parent!
People do what they need to do. Obviously you had to support yourself. But wouldn’t you at lleast admit it would’ve been better the other way? Your reasons for becoming a single parent are your own. Will you tell me that’s preferable to having a father in the house? I’m no fan of Dr. Laura, who I think is overly arrogant and self-righteous, but she does have a point that it is best to have not only two parents, but that they be raised by parents, who are the only ones who can truly love them the way they need to be loved. >There is nothing more satisfying or incredible than having children. And >yes you are quite right that people must be prepared to rase their children >properly. But it is grossly unfair to state that the only way is your way. >Your comments on the "products of full time day care" are way out of line. >If you are confusing independance and positive self esteem with >agressiveness and selfishness, so be it. I am the proud mother of a >vibrant, intelligent, independent and compassionate 9 yr old girl. I would >not change a thing in her upbringing.
Good for you,and I mean that. But you aren’t the majority. There are exceptions to everything, obviously. If there are, say, 10 million kids of single and/or working parents, and only 1% are the exception, that’s still 100,000 sets of parents who could tell me I’m wrong. >I only hope that during your "quality time" spent with your children all >these years, you have not instilled your obvious narrow mindedness. If so, >how sad for your kids…, because that is truly a handicap in this >wonderful world of differences.
I only seem narrow-minded to you because our views differ. That in itself is narrow-minded; however, in the interest of civilized discourse, I won’t call you that. Good luck to you, and try not to get so upset. Mike P. Michael L. Pierich The Turkey Ridge Homepage http://www.epix.net/~michael
Response:
>Hi, everyone, >I, myself have a six years old girl. One of my friend who doesn’t have >kid and doesn’t want to have any kid always ask me how can working parent >afford to have kid. I don’t understand why some people are so afraid of >having children and working full time. Can someone out there help me >figure it out. Kids are adorable!!!!
Yes, Meg, kids are adorable when they’re born. But they’re not pets. My wife did not work at all until our two kids were 12 and 13. We lived on government cheese and not much else. We couldn’t give them much at Christmas, and lived in a shack. But the kids never realized we were poor. Al they knew was that mommy was home every day with them, and later she was there without fail when they came home from school. I’ve seen the products of full-time daycare, and I’m not impressed. Those kids will definitely make their mark in the world with their aggressiveness and selfishness, at the expense of their humanity. People who are not prepared to raise kids properly simply should not have them. Mike Michael L. Pierich The Turkey Ridge Homepage http://www.epix.net/~michael
Response:
Hi, everyone, I, myself have a six years old girl. One of my friend who doesn’t have kid and doesn’t want to have any kid always ask me how can working parent afford to have kid. I don’t understand why some people are so afraid of having children and working full time. Can someone out there help me figure it out. Kids are adorable!!!! Meg.
Response:
>I don’t understand why some people are so afraid of >having children and working full time. Can someone out there help me >figure it out.
Hi Meg…you are officially opening a can of worms 
) The working/not working thread took over this newsgroup for months. I am a professional by trade but for me I cannot give either my child or my profession all that they deserve so before getting pregnant, my husband and I decided that if we were to have children that the child deserved to have one of us home. To us, parenting is a full time job…he brings home the paycheck with his full time job…I take care of our child and run our household…that is my full time job. I will go back to my profession when she is in elementary school…then I will have more energy for clients and she will be occupied in school. I hope that gives you a different perspective on child rearing. I am not saying that it is the only right way…I am saying that that is what works for our family. I have already raised a son (he is 20 now) and I did the same thing with him…I can honestly say that I am incredibly grateful that I stayed home with him not only because I see what a self assured young man he is today but because I don’t have any thoughts of…I wish I were home more…I wish that I worked less…I wish that I saw his first steps…etc…in other words, I know that I did all that I could (and then some). Debra
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