Pure Parents

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> ????  If a mother formula feeds, it’s because she can’t be bothered.to > feed the > baby the way God intended….  Of course!!!!  That’s why!  Couldn’t be any > other > reason! > Not a very good one!! >  Not feeding on demand…., why that’s because "the parent doesn’t > want > to tend to the babies needs.  How could _anyone_ assume otherwise? > It’s true. Restrictive feeding is a lunacy that is only born of people > believing what they prefer to believe so that they CAN refuse to "be > bothered", that what it is, and that’s ALL it is!! Trying to make a baby > eat on a scedule is a LUNACY!! It is like fueling your car on a schedule > that pays NO attention to when or how much you drive it, sooner or later > you run out of gas!! The BABY knows when it needs food, that’s what > crying is for!!

Exellent analogy Steve.  I’ll have to use this one. Kim – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> _Forcing_ > the baby to sleep in a crib, why, that’s because "you’re soo selfish to > get up > throughout the night".  (Huh?  I thought people were always promoting > family > bedding as being more convenient because you _didn’t_ have to get up > through > the night.) > Same thing. People who wish to push the baby out of their lives put it > in a crib in another room so they won’t be so bothered!! People who > family-bed welcome the child in. How much you get up is irrelevant, the > point is to give the baby attention as it wishes! >  Etc.  Anyone who makes choices other than hers has _bad > motives_ > for doing so and is not a good parent.  Oh, please…… > Enid > Indeed they fucking do!!! > Steve

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >Oh, that’s clearer now.  It’s anyone who makes choices different than > >those that you make, to which you can then asbrive motives to raise > >your opinion of yourself. > How did you draw that conclusion from what she wrote? > A pretty frightening leap … especially without a safety net. > ????  If a mother formula feeds, it’s because she can’t be bothered.to > feed the > baby the way God intended….  Of course!!!!  That’s why!  Couldn’t be any > other > reason!

I never, ever said that there werent other reasons.  Im not that dense and you are putting words into my mouth.  I said that IMO, mothers who CHOOSE to not breastfeed because its easier to give a bottle of formula and she wont have to be solely responsible for feeding and she doesnt want to be tied down, is detachment parenting. I for one know that there are many factors to not being able to bf.  Ive had just about every problem known with bf but fortunately for me I had a great LC who helped me overcome them.  Without her though, I would have surely failed.  I think that women who try one time and give up without making a real effort are detachment parents.  Parents these days want the quick fix for everything and dont really want to take the time to REALLY parent. This doesnt apply to everyone obviously.  I dont believe adults should have babies to just then put them in daycare and let someone else raise them for 50-60 hours a week.  Whats the point of having them to begin with.  Not feeding on demand…., why that’s because "the parent doesn’t > want > to tend to the babies needs.  How could _anyone_ assume otherwise?

Never said this once again.  This is purely common sense.   > _Forcing_ > the baby to sleep in a crib, why, that’s because "you’re soo selfish to > get up > throughout the night".  (Huh?  I thought people were always promoting > family > bedding as being more convenient because you _didn’t_ have to get up > through > the night.)  Etc.  Anyone who makes choices other than hers has _bad > motives_ > for doing so and is not a good parent.  Oh, please……

Youre being very defensive and there is no need. Kim – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Enid > >well, count me in as detached and proud of it, > >then! > OUCH.  I never realized this. > >I’m not on  the level of communication with God where I know > >what He feels I should make for dinner tonight….. > Correction: She. > Glen I know, cuz I’m married to her and she tells me what to > make) Appleby > — > Do not underestimate your abilities.  That is your boss’s job. > It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > and take better care of their > > I have seen this term a few times now, and really have no idea what it > > refers to.  It seems it is always used with distain toward the parent. > > What _exactly_ do you mean by detachment parenting? > > Liz > IMO, detachment parenting is the opposite of attachment.  These are just > things that I find to be detachment…Giving formula because the mom > cant be bothered to feed the baby the way God intended.  Not feeding on > demand because the parent doesnt want to tend to the babies needs. > Forcing a baby to cry to sleep.  Forcing a baby to sleep in a crib > because they are too selfish to want to get up throughout the night. > Forcing the baby to eat a lot so they will sleep longer.  Basically, > just not caring enough to take proper care of the baby.  Going off for > weekends after the baby is a newborn because they need "adult time" > Things like that.  These are just some reasons I could think of that > make me see someone as a detachment parent.  I have known lots of > parents who have a baby just to fit into a certain click of people and > dont really care enough to actually raise the baby.  Oh yeah, and going > back to work at 2 weeks PP just because they cant stand to be home > taking care of the baby themselves, even though they dont need the > money.  This is a huge detachment parent IMO. > Kim > I agree completely. Isn’t THAT confusing!? > Steve

OMG, are you serious here?  We agree on something! Kim

Response:

> >Oh, that’s clearer now.  It’s anyone who makes choices different than >those that you make, to which you can then asbrive motives to raise >your opinion of yourself. > How did you draw that conclusion from what she wrote? > A pretty frightening leap … especially without a safety net.

????  If a mother formula feeds, it’s because she can’t be bothered.to feed the baby the way God intended….  Of course!!!!  That’s why!  Couldn’t be any other reason!  Not feeding on demand…., why that’s because "the parent doesn’t want to tend to the babies needs.  How could _anyone_ assume otherwise? _Forcing_ the baby to sleep in a crib, why, that’s because "you’re soo selfish to get up throughout the night".  (Huh?  I thought people were always promoting family bedding as being more convenient because you _didn’t_ have to get up through the night.)  Etc.  Anyone who makes choices other than hers has _bad motives_ for doing so and is not a good parent.  Oh, please…… Enid – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->well, count me in as detached and proud of it, >then! > OUCH.  I never realized this. >I’m not on  the level of communication with God where I know >what He feels I should make for dinner tonight….. > Correction: She. > Glen I know, cuz I’m married to her and she tells me what to > make) Appleby > — > Do not underestimate your abilities.  That is your boss’s job. > It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> and take better care of their > I have seen this term a few times now, and really have no idea what it > refers to.  It seems it is always used with distain toward the parent. > What _exactly_ do you mean by detachment parenting? > Liz > IMO, detachment parenting is the opposite of attachment.  These are just > things that I find to be detachment…Giving formula because the mom > cant be bothered to feed the baby the way God intended.  Not feeding on > demand because the parent doesnt want to tend to the babies needs. > Forcing a baby to cry to sleep.  Forcing a baby to sleep in a crib > because they are too selfish to want to get up throughout the night. > Forcing the baby to eat a lot so they will sleep longer.  Basically, > just not caring enough to take proper care of the baby.  Going off for > weekends after the baby is a newborn because they need "adult time" > Things like that.  These are just some reasons I could think of that > make me see someone as a detachment parent.  I have known lots of > parents who have a baby just to fit into a certain click of people and > dont really care enough to actually raise the baby.  Oh yeah, and going > back to work at 2 weeks PP just because they cant stand to be home > taking care of the baby themselves, even though they dont need the > money.  This is a huge detachment parent IMO. > Kim

I agree completely. Isn’t THAT confusing!? Steve

Response:

> Oh, that’s clearer now.  It’s anyone who makes choices different than > those that you make,

That excuse could be used by child molesters, Enid!! No Deary, anyone who makes WRONG decisions that HURT children. This is not some aesthetic choice between chocolate and vanillla!! Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > and take better care of their > > I have seen this term a few times now, and really have no idea what it > > refers to.  It seems it is always used with distain toward the parent. > > What _exactly_ do you mean by detachment parenting? > > Liz > IMO, detachment parenting is the opposite of attachment.  These are just > things that I find to be detachment…Giving formula because the mom > cant be bothered to feed the baby the way God intended.  Not feeding on > demand because the parent doesnt want to tend to the babies needs. > Forcing a baby to cry to sleep.  Forcing a baby to sleep in a crib > because they are too selfish to want to get up throughout the night. > Forcing the baby to eat a lot so they will sleep longer.  Basically, > just not caring enough to take proper care of the baby.  Going off for > weekends after the baby is a newborn because they need "adult time" > Things like that.  These are just some reasons I could think of that > make me see someone as a detachment parent.  I have known lots of > parents who have a baby just to fit into a certain click of people and > dont really care enough to actually raise the baby.  Oh yeah, and going > back to work at 2 weeks PP just because they cant stand to be home > taking care of the baby themselves, even though they dont need the > money.  This is a huge detachment parent IMO. > Kim

Response:

> ????  If a mother formula feeds, it’s because she can’t be bothered.to > feed the > baby the way God intended….  Of course!!!!  That’s why!  Couldn’t be any > other > reason!

Not a very good one!! >  Not feeding on demand…., why that’s because "the parent doesn’t > want > to tend to the babies needs.  How could _anyone_ assume otherwise?

It’s true. Restrictive feeding is a lunacy that is only born of people believing what they prefer to believe so that they CAN refuse to "be bothered", that what it is, and that’s ALL it is!! Trying to make a baby eat on a scedule is a LUNACY!! It is like fueling your car on a schedule that pays NO attention to when or how much you drive it, sooner or later you run out of gas!! The BABY knows when it needs food, that’s what crying is for!! > _Forcing_ > the baby to sleep in a crib, why, that’s because "you’re soo selfish to > get up > throughout the night".  (Huh?  I thought people were always promoting > family > bedding as being more convenient because you _didn’t_ have to get up > through > the night.)

Same thing. People who wish to push the baby out of their lives put it in a crib in another room so they won’t be so bothered!! People who family-bed welcome the child in. How much you get up is irrelevant, the point is to give the baby attention as it wishes! >  Etc.  Anyone who makes choices other than hers has _bad > motives_ > for doing so and is not a good parent.  Oh, please…… > Enid

Indeed they fucking do!!! Steve

Response:

> >I rarely feel >thirsty, but it’s not unusual for me to start drinking and then finish >the entire bottle > Yup.  Some things should simply not be allowed to be taken out of > context.

<chuckle> bottle of water; bottled water, evian, etc.  Not a baby bottle. Cathy Weeks Before you buy.

Response:

<snipped> >DH always says "it’ll have to be > a cold day in hell or a damned hot day in heaven before you get thirsty, Jo". > Who knows…..perhaps I’m just weird? > Josie

That is weird, Josie…  I have read the some people’s internal cue for thirst feels like hunger…  maybe that’s it? ~Bethany

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >I rarely feel > >thirsty, but it’s not unusual for me to start drinking and then >finish > >the entire bottle > Yup.  Some things should simply not be allowed to be taken out of > context. ><chuckle> bottle of water; bottled water, evian, etc.  Not a baby >bottle.

I was thinking more of the types of bottles that sometimes come in fifths. Glen (not that most parents would give their babies *that*) Appleby — Do not underestimate your abilities.  That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.

Response:

and take better care of their I have seen this term a few times now, and really have no idea what it refers to.  It seems it is always used with distain toward the parent. What _exactly_ do you mean by detachment parenting? Liz

Response:

I know that with some attachment parents, anyone who doesn’t use the same techniques is detachtment parenting. Not everyone is going to use the same parenting techniques though. Just like no one has the same belief systems. To say one is better than the other is like saying believe as I believe or you are going to hell. Perhaps Kim has  a different view. It would be interesting to see what she considers detatchment parenting. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >and take better care of their >I have seen this term a few times now, and really have no idea what it >refers to.  It seems it is always used with distain toward the parent. >What _exactly_ do you mean by detachment parenting? >Liz

Response:

> and take better care of their > I have seen this term a few times now, and really have no idea what it > refers to.  It seems it is always used with distain toward the parent. > What _exactly_ do you mean by detachment parenting? > Liz

IMO, detachment parenting is the opposite of attachment.  These are just things that I find to be detachment…Giving formula because the mom cant be bothered to feed the baby the way God intended.  Not feeding on demand because the parent doesnt want to tend to the babies needs. Forcing a baby to cry to sleep.  Forcing a baby to sleep in a crib because they are too selfish to want to get up throughout the night. Forcing the baby to eat a lot so they will sleep longer.  Basically, just not caring enough to take proper care of the baby.  Going off for weekends after the baby is a newborn because they need "adult time" Things like that.  These are just some reasons I could think of that make me see someone as a detachment parent.  I have known lots of parents who have a baby just to fit into a certain click of people and dont really care enough to actually raise the baby.  Oh yeah, and going back to work at 2 weeks PP just because they cant stand to be home taking care of the baby themselves, even though they dont need the money.  This is a huge detachment parent IMO. Kim

Response:

Oh, that’s clearer now.  It’s anyone who makes choices different than those that you make, to which you can then asbrive motives to raise your opinion of yourself.  well, count me in as detached and proud of it, then!  I’m not on  the level of communication with God where I know what He feels I should make for dinner tonight….. Enid – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> and take better care of their > I have seen this term a few times now, and really have no idea what it > refers to.  It seems it is always used with distain toward the parent. > What _exactly_ do you mean by detachment parenting? > Liz > IMO, detachment parenting is the opposite of attachment.  These are just > things that I find to be detachment…Giving formula because the mom > cant be bothered to feed the baby the way God intended.  Not feeding on > demand because the parent doesnt want to tend to the babies needs. > Forcing a baby to cry to sleep.  Forcing a baby to sleep in a crib > because they are too selfish to want to get up throughout the night. > Forcing the baby to eat a lot so they will sleep longer.  Basically, > just not caring enough to take proper care of the baby.  Going off for > weekends after the baby is a newborn because they need "adult time" > Things like that.  These are just some reasons I could think of that > make me see someone as a detachment parent.  I have known lots of > parents who have a baby just to fit into a certain click of people and > dont really care enough to actually raise the baby.  Oh yeah, and going > back to work at 2 weeks PP just because they cant stand to be home > taking care of the baby themselves, even though they dont need the > money.  This is a huge detachment parent IMO. > Kim

Response:

>Oh, that’s clearer now.  It’s anyone who makes choices different than >those that you make, to which you can then asbrive motives to raise >your opinion of yourself.  

How did you draw that conclusion from what she wrote? A pretty frightening leap … especially without a safety net. >well, count me in as detached and proud of it, >then!  

OUCH.  I never realized this. >I’m not on  the level of communication with God where I know >what He feels I should make for dinner tonight…..

Correction: She. Glen I know, cuz I’m married to her and she tells me what to make) Appleby — Do not underestimate your abilities.  That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.

Response:

> Oh, that’s clearer now.  It’s anyone who makes choices different than > those that you make, to which you can then asbrive motives to raise > your opinion of yourself.  well, count me in as detached and proud of it, > then!

What do you do that makes you think your a detachment parent and why on earth would you be proud of such a thing? kim   I’m not on  the level of communication with God where I know – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> what He feels I should make for dinner tonight….. > Enid > > and take better care of their > > I have seen this term a few times now, and really have no idea what it > > refers to.  It seems it is always used with distain toward the parent. > > What _exactly_ do you mean by detachment parenting? > > Liz > IMO, detachment parenting is the opposite of attachment.  These are just > things that I find to be detachment…Giving formula because the mom > cant be bothered to feed the baby the way God intended.  Not feeding on > demand because the parent doesnt want to tend to the babies needs. > Forcing a baby to cry to sleep.  Forcing a baby to sleep in a crib > because they are too selfish to want to get up throughout the night. > Forcing the baby to eat a lot so they will sleep longer.  Basically, > just not caring enough to take proper care of the baby.  Going off for > weekends after the baby is a newborn because they need "adult time" > Things like that.  These are just some reasons I could think of that > make me see someone as a detachment parent.  I have known lots of > parents who have a baby just to fit into a certain click of people and > dont really care enough to actually raise the baby.  Oh yeah, and going > back to work at 2 weeks PP just because they cant stand to be home > taking care of the baby themselves, even though they dont need the > money.  This is a huge detachment parent IMO. > Kim

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >IMO, detachment parenting is the opposite of attachment.  These are just >things that I find to be detachment…Giving formula because the mom >cant be bothered to feed the baby the way God intended.  Not feeding on >demand because the parent doesnt want to tend to the babies needs. >Forcing a baby to cry to sleep.  Forcing a baby to sleep in a crib >because they are too selfish to want to get up throughout the night. >Forcing the baby to eat a lot so they will sleep longer.  Basically, >just not caring enough to take proper care of the baby.  Going off for >weekends after the baby is a newborn because they need "adult time" >Things like that.  These are just some reasons I could think of that >make me see someone as a detachment parent.  I have known lots of >parents who have a baby just to fit into a certain click of people and >dont really care enough to actually raise the baby.  Oh yeah, and going >back to work at 2 weeks PP just because they cant stand to be home >taking care of the baby themselves, even though they dont need the >money.  This is a huge detachment parent IMO.

Let me preface this by saying that I have not read all of The Book on attachement parenting …. but I have been reading something else that makes those book make a lot more sense. This book is "A General Theory of Love", writen by 3 psychiatrists who were disallusioned by the methods that they were taught, because those methods simply didn’t work (duh?). They discuss some studies that were done on early parenting and the correlation between those methods (warm, cold and a mix) and how the kids turned out. By itself, that mention wouldn’t mean much. Then they went on to discuss some animal studies with mice and monkeys which showed the same things but, because they could use harsher methods with animals, were far more pronounced in the effects. Now, I have often said that we are creating our own monsters in society.  Reading this, though, smacked me in the face full force with my own words. This book is one that I *highly* recommend. — Do not underestimate your abilities.  That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.

Response:

Why are you two arguing when you pretty much agree with each other?  You both are into attachment parenting, right?  You could be friends!   So you don’t like the same book- that’s OK!   Relax.  Deep breaths.  Ah, that’s better… ~Bethany

Response:

>I rarely feel >thirsty, but it’s not unusual for me to start drinking and then finish >the entire bottle

Yup.  Some things should simply not be allowed to be taken out of context. — Do not underestimate your abilities.  That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.

Response:

>Not everyone feels thirsty when they need water.  Giving people an >intake guideline is a pretty good idea, especially for people like me: >I rarely get thirsty, and I walk around in a slightly dehydrated state >much of the time.  I know when I get dehydrated, not because of being >thirsty, but because I can tell from other symptoms.  I rarely feel >thirsty, but it’s not unusual for me to start drinking and then finish >the entire bottle of water within a few minutes.  Prior to taking my >first sip, I wasn’t in the least thirsty.  My grandmother was the same >way, evidently.

feels like to BE thirsty. I can honestly say that I do not ever recall a time when I was thirsty……like others talk about being thirsty anyway. Even hot spicy foods do not make me thirsty, as it seems to make other people. I just drink for the taste. I love coffee (alot)….juices…..water…..hot chocolate….tea….lemonade….whatever. But I really don’t think I’ve ever been thirsty, so to speak. I’ve never gone to drink anything and found myself gulping it down or finishing the entire drink in minutes, as you said. My mom says that I’ve never been thirsty only because I drink coffee nonstop…..but I didn’t even begin drinking coffee until I was 14 years old and I do not recall ever being thirsty *before* that time either. DH always says "it’ll have to be a cold day in hell or a damned hot day in heaven before you get thirsty, Jo". Who knows…..perhaps I’m just weird? Josie

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > Look, they are referring to the myth of drinking gallons of water in > > order to keep up your supply. > That’s not what the book says. It says you should drink according to > your thirst. I have been drinking according to my thirst – instead of > drinking extra water – and I became dehydrated and my baby became > constipated. > If you became dehydrated then you obviously had to drink next to nothing > and thats just not even rational.  You dont need to drink extra water > but you do need to drink! You have to be quite dehydrated and sick in > order for it to affect your baby.  Maybe you just werent nursing enough > and your baby was constipated because he wasnt eating, or maybe he just > got constipated.  You are blaming something that may not have anything > to do with the other.

Not everyone feels thirsty when they need water.  Giving people an intake guideline is a pretty good idea, especially for people like me: I rarely get thirsty, and I walk around in a slightly dehydrated state much of the time.  I know when I get dehydrated, not because of being thirsty, but because I can tell from other symptoms.  I rarely feel thirsty, but it’s not unusual for me to start drinking and then finish the entire bottle of water within a few minutes.  Prior to taking my first sip, I wasn’t in the least thirsty.  My grandmother was the same way, evidently. Cathy Weeks Before you buy.

Response:

> i believe that what they are saying is that there are very few > medications that you can take while breastfeeding that will harm your > baby.  Yes there are some that are harmful but your Dr. will tell you > this when prescribing.  Most medication is fine.  YOu can go over to > misc.kids.breastfeeding and ask for Naomi and she will gladly look up in > Hales what you cant take.  Its quite simply and you shouldnt try to > scare people into not bf because they want to take cold medicine.

That may be true but it is not what the book says. My beef is not with Attachment Parenting, as I said in my post, but with this stupid, hysterical book in particular. The book says nothing about consulting your doctor re: medicines. It says nothing about the fact that cold medicines can hurt your baby if taken while breastfeeding. And you don’t need a prescription for cold medicine. Ironically, I’ve had to stop taking my allergy medicine (which can be bought over the counter) and now that my hormonaly immunities have worn off my allergies have come back full force. And I’m continuing breastfeeding. But I could easily see someone reading this book and thinking it was perfectly okay to take their over the counter allergy medicine. > Look, they are referring to the myth of drinking gallons of water in > order to keep up your supply.

That’s not what the book says. It says you should drink according to your thirst. I have been drinking according to my thirst – instead of drinking extra water – and I became dehydrated and my baby became constipated. You don’t address my concerns about how manipulative and emotive the writing style is. That line, " It IS exactly as bad as it sounds," rand through my ears each evening as my baby cried with colic. Very nice. There is more than one way to sleep train a baby. My six month old is sick with fatigue by the end of the day because she’s more interested in exploring than napping. When she’s tired she shouts and cries and can’t get to sleep unless she hungry and my breast is in her mouth. She’s often exhausted during the day but can’t get to sleep because she can’t nurse. So she gets increasingly upset. It’s HER I’m worried about. I would never leave her to cry for hours but I am encouraing a regular bedtime by lying by her side with my breast available until she’s ready to nurse and fall asleep. And yes, the first time she did cry with fatigue for about twenty minutes. But I was right there next to her patting her head until she did fall asleep. Why doesn’t the book have a bibiliography? Why don’t they mention the name of one single study? I do breatfeed, I do co-sleep. This book is still crap. Before you buy.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> i believe that what they are saying is that there are very few > medications that you can take while breastfeeding that will harm your > baby.  Yes there are some that are harmful but your Dr. will tell you > this when prescribing.  Most medication is fine.  YOu can go over to > misc.kids.breastfeeding and ask for Naomi and she will gladly look up > in > Hales what you cant take.  Its quite simply and you shouldnt try to > scare people into not bf because they want to take cold medicine. > That may be true but it is not what the book says. My beef is not with > Attachment Parenting, as I said in my post, but with this stupid, > hysterical book in particular. The book says nothing about consulting > your doctor re: medicines. It says nothing about the fact that cold > medicines can hurt your baby if taken while breastfeeding. And you > don’t need a prescription for cold medicine.

Which medication are you talking about?  Of course you should consult your Dr. before taking any medication while nursing.  Common sense!  I dont know of any cold medication which could harm your baby.  Ive taken most everything including benadryl, nyquil, claritin, darvaset, tylenol 3 and robitussin.  How do you think these medication can hurt your baby and who told you this? > Ironically, I’ve had to stop taking my allergy medicine (which can be > bought over the counter) and now that my hormonaly immunities have worn > off my allergies have come back full force. And I’m continuing > breastfeeding. But I could easily see someone reading this book and > thinking it was perfectly okay to take their over the counter allergy > medicine.

Again, who told you to take it and how did it affect your baby?   > Look, they are referring to the myth of drinking gallons of water in > order to keep up your supply. > That’s not what the book says. It says you should drink according to > your thirst. I have been drinking according to my thirst – instead of > drinking extra water – and I became dehydrated and my baby became > constipated.

If you became dehydrated then you obviously had to drink next to nothing and thats just not even rational.  You dont need to drink extra water but you do need to drink! You have to be quite dehydrated and sick in order for it to affect your baby.  Maybe you just werent nursing enough and your baby was constipated because he wasnt eating, or maybe he just got constipated.  You are blaming something that may not have anything to do with the other. > You don’t address my concerns about how manipulative and emotive the > writing style is. That line, " It IS exactly as bad as it sounds," rand > through my ears each evening as my baby cried with colic. Very nice.

I dont understand what you mean by this? > There is more than one way to sleep train a baby. My six month old is > sick with fatigue by the end of the day because she’s more interested > in exploring than napping. When she’s tired she shouts and cries and > can’t get to sleep unless she hungry and my breast is in her mouth.

6mths is different than a newborn who must be demand fed in order to keep up with the milk demand.  Plenty of babies cry out of exaustion and colic and a mother is suppose to tend to babies needs as best she can. Im still not sure what your beef about this is.  What exactly do you think they should be saying? > She’s often exhausted during the day but can’t get to sleep because she > can’t nurse.

Why cant she nurse?  So she gets increasingly upset. It’s HER I’m worried > about. I would never leave her to cry for hours but I am encouraing a > regular bedtime by lying by her side with my breast available until > she’s ready to nurse and fall asleep. And yes, the first time she did > cry with fatigue for about twenty minutes. But I was right there next > to her patting her head until she did fall asleep.

This isnt sleep training like the book is referring.  They are referring to the Ferber method and you dont sound like you were doing anything different than what they would have chosen. > Why doesn’t the book have a bibiliography? Why don’t they mention the > name of one single study?

I dont have the book right now because I lent it out but I thought they had all kinds of references in it.  I doubt very highly that Dr. Sears would have endorsed this book if it were full of non-sense. kim – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I do breatfeed, I do co-sleep. This book is still crap. > Before you buy.

Response:

> A dangerous book full of misinformation. > While I believe in many Attachment Parenting ideals – I co-sleep, > breastfeed, and use a sling – I found this book to be dangerously > dogmatic. These authors are so eager to convince parents of their > belief system that they are actually providing incorrect information > that could put babies lives at risk.

This is simply your opinion.  I love the book and feel the exact same way as they do. > For example – they say that breastfeeding women shouldn’t worry about > taking medication while breastfeeding as such a small amount of > medication makes it through into the breatmilk that babies won’t be > affected. This is completely false. You can kill your baby by taking > the wrong kind of medication while breastfeeding.

i believe that what they are saying is that there are very few medications that you can take while breastfeeding that will harm your baby.  Yes there are some that are harmful but your Dr. will tell you this when prescribing.  Most medication is fine.  YOu can go over to misc.kids.breastfeeding and ask for Naomi and she will gladly look up in Hales what you cant take.  Its quite simply and you shouldnt try to scare people into not bf because they want to take cold medicine.   They also say that > breastfeeding women don’t need to worry about drinking a lot of water. > Again, this is false. If you are dehydrated your baby could become > constipated.

Look, they are referring to the myth of drinking gallons of water in order to keep up your supply.  Its common sense that if you yourself stop drinking you will become dehydrated but to say that you must drink lots of water to keep up your suppy is a freaking myth.  Women should try to take in 500 more calories a day which could be as simply as an extra snack.  Unless you are not drinking at all there is no reason to tell women they will dehydrate if they dont drink a gallon a day.  Any dr. will tell you everyone should try to drink 8 glasses of water a day.  Common sense. > Additionally, their writing style and arguments are overly emotive and > based entirely on annecdotal evidence. Note the lack of a > bibiliography. They mention studies but never quote names or dates. For > example, they basically say that if you don’t sleep with your baby you > are putting your baby at risk of SIDS. The actual research shows that > sleeping with your baby does not decrease the likelyhood of SIDS. Check > with the American Academy of Pediatrics.

There havent been enough studies on co-sleeping to back this up yet BUT I believe the studies done showed that over the period of 7 years there have been noted about 250 deaths associated with co-sleeping.  They never said how many of those were drug addicts, alcoholics or obese. Lets compare this number to the thousands of babies who EVERY YEAR die in a crib!!!  Common sense once again.  Mind you, I could be off a bit on the number but it was a huge difference when actually compared. > They are completely against sleep training – saying things like when > your baby cries, "It is exactly as bad as it sounds." Very comforting > to new parents who have babies with colic. Also, they don’t mention > anything about the serious, health damaging affects of sleep > depravation on parents and babies. They say that if you aren’t willing > to be sleep deprived for several years than you are being selfish.

COMMON SENSE.  Babies arent dogs and shouldnt be "trained" to sleep.  I have had a colicky baby and know first hand what its like to nurse every hour and be sleep deprived.  Its called motherhood.  You cant just close the door and let them scream themselves to sleep or shove a bottle in their mouth to get them to go through the night.  Its a proven fact that when babies cry for prolonged periods of time that it affects the brain.  Take the baby to bed and nurse in bed.  Feed on demand and co-sleep.  People have done it for thousands of years and its the de-tachment parents who need to wake up and take better care of their kids.   > In conclusion – read this book if you are interested in Attachement > Parenting but please take it with a very large grain of salt. These > people aren’t professionals – they are fanatics and don’t know what > they are talking about.

As opposed to you who would rather spout off at the mouth about things you apparently know nothing about.  I believe that one of the women is a nurse and the book was reccommended by Dr. William Sears, who by the way speaks of the same things in his books.   Kim – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Before you buy.

Response:

A dangerous book full of misinformation. While I believe in many Attachment Parenting ideals – I co-sleep, breastfeed, and use a sling – I found this book to be dangerously dogmatic. These authors are so eager to convince parents of their belief system that they are actually providing incorrect information that could put babies lives at risk. For example – they say that breastfeeding women shouldn’t worry about taking medication while breastfeeding as such a small amount of medication makes it through into the breatmilk that babies won’t be affected. This is completely false. You can kill your baby by taking the wrong kind of medication while breastfeeding. They also say that breastfeeding women don’t need to worry about drinking a lot of water. Again, this is false. If you are dehydrated your baby could become constipated. Additionally, their writing style and arguments are overly emotive and based entirely on annecdotal evidence. Note the lack of a bibiliography. They mention studies but never quote names or dates. For example, they basically say that if you don’t sleep with your baby you are putting your baby at risk of SIDS. The actual research shows that sleeping with your baby does not decrease the likelyhood of SIDS. Check with the American Academy of Pediatrics. They are completely against sleep training – saying things like when your baby cries, "It is exactly as bad as it sounds." Very comforting to new parents who have babies with colic. Also, they don’t mention anything about the serious, health damaging affects of sleep depravation on parents and babies. They say that if you aren’t willing to be sleep deprived for several years than you are being selfish. In conclusion – read this book if you are interested in Attachement Parenting but please take it with a very large grain of salt. These people aren’t professionals – they are fanatics and don’t know what they are talking about. Before you buy.

Response: