Question:
You and your husband have to come to some agreement. Why doesn’t he like it? Many people have a family bed and it is a great idea, as long as every one is happy and gets enough sleep. But, if you do this, then the best thing to do is to let the child leave for his own bed when he is ready, and that may not be until he is 3 years old or older. Having the baby sleep with you makes it easier to feed him at night, both of you will sleep better, the baby will be more secure, there are theories that it decreases the risk of SIDS. But, you may run into the problem of him being unable to sleep without you there (I’m sure that there must be ways to get around that problem though). Ann
: My baby is four months old and sleeps in our bed. I like this. The baby : likes this. My husband does not. Our son slept with us until he was 9 : months. When we moved him to a crib we had to let him cry it out. I don’t : want to do this again. Any suggestions? —
Response:
> My baby is four months old and sleeps in our bed. I like this. The baby > likes this. My husband does not. Our son slept with us until he was 9 > months. When we moved him to a crib we had to let him cry it out. I don’t > want to do this again. Any suggestions?
Instead of going from your bed, which is comfortably crowded, to a big crib, try making the moves smaller. Go from your bed to a day bed placed on your bed for daytime naps. Then move the daybed to the floor of the room. Then use a cradle in your room. Then the crib in your room. Then eventually the crib in another room. Maybe your first child just didn’t like the change from the bed with you, to the big open space of a crib. Try using "baby steps" and see if that helps. Maybe even line the new sleeping item (daybed, cradle, crib) with your bed sheets so the baby recognizes your scent. Good luck. — Best wishes, Lynn. "The reason our eyes are on the front of our heads is so that we can see where we’re going and not be bothered by what’s past." Sally Huss
Response:
> I am not looking forward to the time when we will >move the baby to his own place of sleap. We were thinking that maybe a >gradual >transition from the bed to the crib would do it. Please let us know how it >comes out for you and what suggestions you receive.
My daughter (now three) slept with us exclusively until she was a year old. Then we did a very gradual transition whereby we would have her take naps in her crib during the day so she would get used to sleeping in there but she would still sleep with us at night. then we started putting her down in her crib at night (after she fell asleep) and let her sleep there until she woke up (usually two or three hours). Gradually this time expanded to the entire night. by the time she was 18 months old she was sleeping in her own room. Now her little sister (6 months old) is sleeping with us but we will try the same method of transition with her when the time comes., Sue
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Both of my children have slept with my husband and me. The first one, for years! Our second, now 21 months, sleeps with us, but we decided to try out the toddler bed. So we put it in our room and she loves it. I realize your child is to small for a toddler bed but maybe just having that to look forward to would get your husband to ease up and let the baby sleep with you for the time being. He won’t stay there forever! As for me, I can’t imagine not having my baby curled up next to me when we fall asleep. They grow up so fast and before long you can’t even hug them in public without them rolling their eyes! Try to get your husband to put up with it for a while. You’ll be glad! Dawn(Taylor and Mackenzie’s mom)
Response:
> My baby is four months old and sleeps in our bed. I like this. The > baby > likes this. My husband does not. Our son slept with us until he was > 9 > months. When we moved him to a crib we had to let him cry it out. I > don’t > want to do this again. Any suggestions?
Good luck finding a consensus on this issue. The pile of literature on the topic could fill a small library and, in the end, none of it is very decisive or authoritative. We had different experiences with each child. Because of post-birth complications, Mommy spent most of the first month in bed after the first child was born. Remarkably, he seemed to do just as well whether he was next to her or in his crib. This gave us the flexibility to do what was best for Mommy. Child number two, however, was not so agreeable. We moved when he was four months old and sleeping with Mommy became a security issue for him. He -still- makes frequent visits to our bed when he wakes in the middle of the night. We have a specific set of conditions to determine whether he stays or is taken back to his bed. Primarily, if he seems frightened or ill he stays at least for a few minutes. What’s frustrating is that he’s learned how to crawl up from the bottom of the bed without waking either of us! Bottom line: do what you think is best for -this- child. At four months I would expect that any sudden change would prove difficult, but your child’s personality may prove more accomodating than big brother’s. Does the baby sleep alone during daytime naps? If so, that may be a good sign. If not, that might be a good place to start. Good luck! — Charles I. Letbetter, Editor CATCH Online Magazine http://www.pagebrothers.com A new way of looking at parenting
Response:
: My baby is four months old and sleeps in our bed. I like this. The baby : likes this. My husband does not. Our son slept with us until he was 9 : months. When we moved him to a crib we had to let him cry it out. I don’t : want to do this again. Any suggestions? We managed to fit our cot up alongside our bed, pushed right against the bed with the cot side down. We put our son to sleep in the cot, and if he would wake and cry we could easily comfort him without even getting out of bed (lazy!) or pull him into our bed if he would not go back to sleep. Now he is 15 months and able to get around by himself, he tends to wake in the middle of the night, climb out of his cot, over my wife and go to sleep in between us! Some nights he will sleep through in his cot, but if it makes him happy to sleep with us we don’t mind at all. Jeremy.
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I felt the same way you did. I wanted him to sleep with us but my wife said it is a very bad idea. We have also had friends tell us that they did it and they could not break the habit for several years. The one thing I worried about was rolling over on him in the middle of the night. 
Tom J. — Thomas A. Jennette Media Marketing Consultants, Inc. http://www.mmconsultants.com – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My baby is four months old and sleeps in our bed. I like this. The baby > likes this. My husband does not. Our son slept with us until he was 9 > months. When we moved him to a crib we had to let him cry it out. I don’t > want to do this again. Any suggestions?
Response:
I’ve thought about this myself, and I can only tell you what I myself have speculated about. Personally, if I had a choice of who I was going to throw out of my bed, it would be my spouse, not my child. I agree that children should sleep with their parents for as long as they want and need, and I speculate that I would forewarn my spouse about this beforehand and it would not be an issue, with the end result of preferring to spend my sleep time with my child, if that is what is necessary to make the child happy. I don’t mean to throw the spouse out of the house and get a divorce; that would be terrible for the child. But I do mean that in making a choice, I would choose the baby. But that’s only my speculation; I am not a parent. Love, peace and freedom for all people, Mike Have you had a new idea today? How about love, peace and freedom for ALL people? http://www.universalway.org – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->My baby is four months old and sleeps in our bed. I like this. The baby >likes this. My husband does not. Our son slept with us until he was 9 >months. When we moved him to a crib we had to let him cry it out. I don’t >want to do this again. Any suggestions?
Response:
My baby is four months old and sleeps in our bed. I like this. The baby likes this. My husband does not. Our son slept with us until he was 9 months. When we moved him to a crib we had to let him cry it out. I don’t want to do this again. Any suggestions?
Response:
We sleap w/ our 6mo old and we both feel that it is a wonderful experiance both for the baby and for us. I am not looking forward to the time when we will move the baby to his own place of sleap. We were thinking that maybe a gradual transition from the bed to the crib would do it. Please let us know how it comes out for you and what suggestions you receive. Thanks and good luck, Thorin – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My baby is four months old and sleeps in our bed. I like this. The baby > likes this. My husband does not. Our son slept with us until he was 9 > months. When we moved him to a crib we had to let him cry it out. I don’t > want to do this again. Any suggestions?
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