Question:
says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi! My 4 1/2 yr old son likes to play with Barbies. When McDonalds had > Barbies > for their Happy Meal Toys, he loved it! I was ok with that and didn’t > discourage it. > To me, it wasn’t any different than him playing with his little GI Joe figures. > Whatever. > When we go out and he brings a Barbie with in the car, > and we head into wherever we’re going, he quick gives me his Barbie and wants > me to hide it away. He gets upset if I don’t get it hidden fast. He says he > feels > silly and doesn’t want anyone to laugh at him for having it so he’s just going > to play with them at home. > I’m sure his 9 yr old brother has helped promote his feeling silly – my 9 yr > old > wouldn’t be caught dead with anything that’s for girls! > He really, really, really wants Detective Barbie for the computer for > Christmas, > which I’m also fine about but I noticed in the sampler of this software that it > says in one of the screens that it’s Detective Barbie "for girls". > Here’s my concern. I’m afraid that it’s going to effect him that he feels he > needs to keep something he likes hidden away for fear of ridicule. I don’t > want > him feeling like something is wrong with him. > I’m sure that many of the posters here must have boys who liked playing with > Barbies and I’m wondering how that worked in regards to the reactions of other > children. > We were at the store yesterday and my son was looking at Batman software > with another child around his age. My son loves Batman. Then my son saw > Detective Barbie sitting on the shelf and got it down so that we could look at > the pictures on the back of it and talk about them. The mother of the other > child kind of laughed and said "He likes Barbie??" I thought she was rude but > unfortunately that’s how people feel and I wonder if I should be talking about > that > with my son or if I should remain indifferent to it all. > Any advice from people who have had similar experiences would be most > appreciated. > Linda
I have no problems with boys playing with dolls however I would not allow any child to play with "barbie" to me it would be like giving kids a toy with a huge penis hanging off it. I’ve seen more realistic body types in playboy. No wonder so many pre-teens and teen feel not up to par, who can compete with barbie. p.s. theses are just my point of view, it’s not a persomal attack on anyone.
Response:
Boys who play with Barbie dolls risk growing up with sexual dysfunctions, especially if they dress the doll or apply some kind of make-up to it. I’d say it was OK for a boy to play with a Ken doll that belongs to a female playmate. It is not OK for him to own his own Barbie dolls. Barbie does give girls an unrealistic image. If brought up to human scale, wouldn’t Barbie’s measurements be something like 38 – 22 – 36? I’ve heard they’re going to make Barbie more human soon. Don’t children ever play with toys like Born-Again Bunny, Righteous Rhino, and Zealous Zebra? What about Bible action figures like David and Goliath, Elijah and Elisha, Solomon and Sheba, and so on. I still have a plastic Ark with Noah and 22 pairs of animals, one for every letter of the Hebrew alphabet. I think it would be better for boys to play with toys like that. Dinosaurs and apes are no good. They teach kids to believe in evolution. Mother Henrietta Hickey Dallas, Texas
Response:
>I have no problems with boys playing with dolls however I would not allow >any child to play with "barbie" to me it would be like giving kids a toy >with a huge penis hanging off it. I’ve seen more realistic body types in >playboy. No wonder so many pre-teens and teen feel not up to par, who can >compete with barbie. >p.s. theses are just my point of view, it’s not a persomal attack on >anyone.
LOL! I *have* noticed that Barbie has quite the figure. However, she *is* clothed so her only sin is having a pretty good shape. I’ve noticed that GI Joe doesn’t happen to be lacking in the muscle department. But they *are* clothed and in alot more than I’ve seen on alot of teens around here. 
I would think that by telling my child that he couldn’t play with a Barbie doll for the reasons you’ve mentioned, then I would be sending the message that a persons appearance is something that counts. I like to remain indifferent with my children when it comes to the area of peoples appearance. I would no more want to push a doll that’s flat than I would a doll shaped like Barbie. It all sends the message that we should place value on this. Since I didn’t have any Barbies in my house, my son started liking them on his own. Now, if I was really concerned about my child playing with Barbies for the reasons you’ve mentioned, then I might want to try and introduce other types of dolls but I wouldn’t make a big show of denying him Barbie because Barbie has a better figure. Linda
Response:
Pas87: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I have no problems with boys playing with dolls however I would not allow >any child to play with "barbie" to me it would be like giving kids a toy >with a huge penis hanging off it. I’ve seen more realistic body types in >playboy. No wonder so many pre-teens and teen feel not up to par, who can >compete with barbie. >p.s. theses are just my point of view, it’s not a persomal attack on >anyone. >LOL! I *have* noticed that Barbie has >quite the figure. However, she *is* clothed >so her only sin is having a pretty good shape. >I’ve noticed that GI Joe doesn’t happen to be lacking in the muscle >department. > But they >*are* clothed and in alot more than I’ve seen >on alot of teens around here.
Good point. People are up in arms about Barbie and body image for girls, but G.I. Joe would have the same effect on boys, no? >I would think that by telling my child that he >couldn’t play with a Barbie doll for the reasons you’ve mentioned, then I >would >be >sending the message that a persons appearance is something that counts.
I agree. I mean, look, most baby dolls have supper-cute cheeks, etc., the physical attractiveness of any doll would be enhanced. Especially with a boy wanting a barbie doll, I personally woudn’t worry. My son wanted a Barbie doll for two reasons I think: * He wanted a Barbie-Kelley set, so I think he was relating to our single-parent single-child family. And I tell him Barbie is Kelley’s mom. (Hey, Mattel, whenever are you going to even let Barbie and Ken tie the knot anyway?) * The set had a shopping cart and he was really into shopping carts at the time. When at 4 he asked for a Barbie doll (and he made it clear he had in mind a *certain* Barbie doll) I took him right to the store. The set he picked out was the Barbie-Kelley-shopping cart one on top – an African American one (and we’re white). I said sure – I got a bit of a roll of the eye from the girl at the counter like maybe she was thinking "Oh here comes our excruciatingly politically aware middle class professional mom who not only gets a Barbie for her son but one of another race". Or maybe I’m just reading all that into her expression ;-) But I think he picked those dolls because we do have Black friends and at 4 it really was all the same to him. Unfortunately, at 6, he’s picked up some questions about race from school :-( As well as the "this is for girls.." notions. My take on this stuff is that I wouldn’t have gotten him a doll unless he expressed interest (he’s totally into cars and trucks and mechanical building toys otherwise), but I sure wasn’t going to stand in the way of any interest. He plays with her with a neighbor boy sometimes, and he does want clothes for her. He’s frustrated that there are mostly "glam" clothes for the dolls – he wants jeans and sweatshirts and stuff like he sees his mom and all the neighborhood women wear. Hey – Mattel – can we have some *real* clothes, huh? I might break out the sewing machine for this – there are Barbie patterns out there. ——- "It is difficult to distinguish where the feminine ends and nature begins." - Antonio Carlos Jobim
Response:
At least your son leaves the clothes on them!! My daughter takes the clothes off, throws both the clothes & the barbie into the toy box and goes off to play with her blocks or cars! :) I think I have a tom-boy on my hands! I don’t see anything wrong with a boy playing with Barbie or any other day. It helps them develop their nurturing side and there’s definitely nothing wrong with that!! Lisa Mom to Kelsey (2.5)
He’s frustrated that there are mostly "glam" clothes for the dolls – he wants jeans and sweatshirts and stuff like he sees his mom and all the neighborhood women wear. Hey – Mattel – can we have some *real* clothes, huh? I might break out the sewing machine for this – there are Barbie patterns out there. ——- "It is difficult to distinguish where the feminine ends and nature begins." - Antonio Carlos Jobim
Response:
> Boys who play with Barbie dolls risk growing up with sexual > dysfunctions, especially if they dress the doll or apply some kind of > make-up to it. I’d say it was OK for a boy to play with a Ken doll that > belongs to a female playmate. It is not OK for him to own his own Barbie > dolls.
Oh, puh-leeze. So, I guess you’ll be saying next that girls who play with trucks and woodworking sets are going to grow up with ’sexual disfunctions’, too. FWIW, when my youngest got a Barbie and Ken, he ended up playing superheroes with them much of the time. Go figure. And believe me, he’s no ‘deviant’. > Barbie does give girls an unrealistic image. If brought up to > human scale, wouldn’t Barbie’s measurements be something like 38 – 22 – 36?
Historically, the reason Barbie ended up with the dimensions she has is because the seams in the clothing made for her were large in proportion to the doll and made her look very thick-waisted, hence, the waist was made smaller so that the clothing looked ‘normal’ on her. > I’ve heard they’re going to make Barbie more human soon.
Technology has advanced to the point that the doll’s proportions can be made more ‘realistic’ and still allow the clothing to work on the body. I think this is a good thing. > Don’t children ever play with toys like Born-Again Bunny, > Righteous Rhino, and Zealous Zebra?
Not my children, thank you. Not our faith. >What about Bible action figures like > David and Goliath, Elijah and Elisha, Solomon and Sheba, and so on.
You’d *want* a Solomon and Sheba playset? You’ve got to be kidding. >I > still have a plastic Ark with Noah and 22 pairs of animals, one for every > letter of the Hebrew alphabet.
Try again, ‘mom’. Including finals and vowels written within the body of the word (and not beneath) it, there are 32 letters in the Alefbet. Somehow, I’ll trust my son’s Hebrew School primer over you. Hope you understand. >I think it would be better for boys to > play with toys like that.
I think it’t be better if parents made choices for their own children. > Dinosaurs and apes are no good. They teach kids to believe in > evolution.
No, it teaches them that they existed. How you wish to teach your children that they got here in the first place is up to you. Leah whose children have stuffed Torahs
Response:
"I have no problems with boys playing with dolls however I would not allow any child to play with "barbie" to me it would be like giving kids a toy with a huge penis hanging off it. I’ve seen more realistic body types in playboy. No wonder so many pre-teens and teen feel not up to par, who can compete with barbie. " I heard that if barbie were made to scale as a real person, she ouwld be over 7 feet tall and have measurements of 38-22-36 or something like that. Incredible.
Response:
>> A friend’s son *asked* for Barbie plus her baby/little sister (I don’t > know the product well enough to be accurate) when my friend was > pregnant. He wanted to put them in the jeep with his two Action Men > dolls so he could have a play family just like his own. >That’s cool. I hope he got them. He sounds like a very savvy little >boy. >(And it’s Barbie’s little sister, btw…I don’t think Mattel will be >marketing ‘Single Mother Barbie’ any time soon. <g>)
Yes, he did. And played with them forever. And when his little sister was born he was so thrilled to help out and thought it was great that his play had come to life! ‘Single mother Barbie’ – I hadn’t thought really — Sue, Mum of Steffi the Pomwi, born 16 Dec 1996 sue at woollett dot demon dot co dot uk
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> A friend’s son *asked* for Barbie plus her baby/little sister (I don’t >> know the product well enough to be accurate) when my friend was >> pregnant. He wanted to put them in the jeep with his two Action Men >> dolls so he could have a play family just like his own. >That’s cool. I hope he got them. He sounds like a very savvy little >boy. >(And it’s Barbie’s little sister, btw…I don’t think Mattel will be >marketing ‘Single Mother Barbie’ any time soon. <g>) > Yes, he did. And played with them forever. And when his little sister > was born he was so thrilled to help out and thought it was great that > his play had come to life!
That’s delightful! How nurturing. I bet he’s going to be a great daddy when he grows up. > ‘Single mother Barbie’ – I hadn’t thought really
I think Barbie’s just eternally hopeful that Mattel will market other male dolls besides Ken and Steven. Look at all the bridal outfits she has, yet has never made that stroll down the aisle. :) Or maybe she’s just afraid of committment. :) :) Leah
Response:
"’Single mother Barbie’ – I hadn’t thought really " I don’t know if you American folks had these, but for a short while there were a few "counterfeit" barbies on the shelves at our stores up here (Canada). They were taken off the shelf quite quickly as it turned out to be illegal to sell them with the barbie name on them *g* A couple of examples were "White trash barbie" and "Ken, the Drag Queen" I only saw them for a fleeting second so I don’t know what to think of them….C.
Response:
> My 12 year old still has the > newborn baby boy that was purchased for him when I was pregnant with my > younger son (he was 3 1/2 when he got ‘Alex’).
I wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you mentioned this. I am due in December and wanted to have a gift for the new baby to give my son upon his arrival… hopefully to smooth things over a bit. I now know what the gift will be! Thanks! Peace, -A
Response:
>My 12 year old still has the >newborn baby boy that was purchased for him when I was pregnant with my >younger son (he was 3 1/2 when he got ‘Alex’).
A friend’s son *asked* for Barbie plus her baby/little sister (I don’t know the product well enough to be accurate) when my friend was pregnant. He wanted to put them in the jeep with his two Action Men dolls so he could have a play family just like his own. — Sue, Mum of Steffi the Pomwi, born 16 Dec 1996 sue at woollett dot demon dot co dot uk
Response:
> >My 12 year old still has the >newborn baby boy that was purchased for him when I was pregnant with my >younger son (he was 3 1/2 when he got ‘Alex’). > A friend’s son *asked* for Barbie plus her baby/little sister (I don’t > know the product well enough to be accurate) when my friend was > pregnant. He wanted to put them in the jeep with his two Action Men > dolls so he could have a play family just like his own.
That’s cool. I hope he got them. He sounds like a very savvy little boy. (And it’s Barbie’s little sister, btw…I don’t think Mattel will be marketing ‘Single Mother Barbie’ any time soon. <g>) Leah
Response:
Hi! My 4 1/2 yr old son likes to play with Barbies. When McDonalds had Barbies for their Happy Meal Toys, he loved it! I was ok with that and didn’t discourage it. To me, it wasn’t any different than him playing with his little GI Joe figures. Whatever. When we go out and he brings a Barbie with in the car, and we head into wherever we’re going, he quick gives me his Barbie and wants me to hide it away. He gets upset if I don’t get it hidden fast. He says he feels silly and doesn’t want anyone to laugh at him for having it so he’s just going to play with them at home. I’m sure his 9 yr old brother has helped promote his feeling silly – my 9 yr old wouldn’t be caught dead with anything that’s for girls! He really, really, really wants Detective Barbie for the computer for Christmas, which I’m also fine about but I noticed in the sampler of this software that it says in one of the screens that it’s Detective Barbie "for girls". Here’s my concern. I’m afraid that it’s going to effect him that he feels he needs to keep something he likes hidden away for fear of ridicule. I don’t want him feeling like something is wrong with him. I’m sure that many of the posters here must have boys who liked playing with Barbies and I’m wondering how that worked in regards to the reactions of other children. We were at the store yesterday and my son was looking at Batman software with another child around his age. My son loves Batman. Then my son saw Detective Barbie sitting on the shelf and got it down so that we could look at the pictures on the back of it and talk about them. The mother of the other child kind of laughed and said "He likes Barbie??" I thought she was rude but unfortunately that’s how people feel and I wonder if I should be talking about that with my son or if I should remain indifferent to it all. Any advice from people who have had similar experiences would be most appreciated. Linda
Response:
" The mother of the other child kind of laughed and said "He likes Barbie??" I thought she was rude but unfortunately that’s how people feel and I wonder if I should be talking about that with my son or if I should remain indifferent to it all. " Next time you get a comment like that, say "Yes, he’s always been much more progressive than other kids!" *g* My brother had a fave doll when he was little—He took it everywhere, but also hid it away when friends came over…I think the best strategy is to remain indifferent when he is simply playing with the doll, but DO ask him about his feelings about it when something comes up (like when he hides it away)..ANd support him in what he feels, and offer your own opinions on it when the discussion comes up. > CheerS and good luck to you ! C.
Response:
Well, I don’t have any experience with Barbies, but this may be relevant. Many of our acquaintances think it’s odd that Andrew has a "baby" doll. My philosophy is, if little girls learn how to be mommys from playing mommy, then why shouldn’t little boys learn how to be daddy from playing daddy? Are we all that weird that we have to ridicule other peoples’ parenting methods? :::siggh:::: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi! My 4 1/2 yr old son likes to play with Barbies. When McDonalds had > Barbies > for their Happy Meal Toys, he loved it! I was ok with that and didn’t > discourage it. > To me, it wasn’t any different than him playing with his little GI Joe figures. > Whatever. > When we go out and he brings a Barbie with in the car, > and we head into wherever we’re going, he quick gives me his Barbie and wants > me to hide it away. He gets upset if I don’t get it hidden fast. He says he > feels > silly and doesn’t want anyone to laugh at him for having it so he’s just going > to play with them at home. > I’m sure his 9 yr old brother has helped promote his feeling silly – my 9 yr > old > wouldn’t be caught dead with anything that’s for girls! > He really, really, really wants Detective Barbie for the computer for > Christmas, > which I’m also fine about but I noticed in the sampler of this software that it > says in one of the screens that it’s Detective Barbie "for girls". > Here’s my concern. I’m afraid that it’s going to effect him that he feels he > needs to keep something he likes hidden away for fear of ridicule. I don’t > want > him feeling like something is wrong with him. > I’m sure that many of the posters here must have boys who liked playing with > Barbies and I’m wondering how that worked in regards to the reactions of other > children. > We were at the store yesterday and my son was looking at Batman software > with another child around his age. My son loves Batman. Then my son saw > Detective Barbie sitting on the shelf and got it down so that we could look at > the pictures on the back of it and talk about them. The mother of the other > child kind of laughed and said "He likes Barbie??" I thought she was rude but > unfortunately that’s how people feel and I wonder if I should be talking about > that > with my son or if I should remain indifferent to it all. > Any advice from people who have had similar experiences would be most > appreciated. > Linda
– M. Kathleen DeFilippo Technical Services Professional http://members.home.net/mkdefilippo/index.htm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi! My 4 1/2 yr old son likes to play with Barbies. When McDonalds had > Barbies > for their Happy Meal Toys, he loved it! I was ok with that and didn’t > discourage it. > To me, it wasn’t any different than him playing with his little GI Joe figures. > Whatever. > When we go out and he brings a Barbie with in the car, > and we head into wherever we’re going, he quick gives me his Barbie and wants > me to hide it away. He gets upset if I don’t get it hidden fast. He says he > feels > silly and doesn’t want anyone to laugh at him for having it so he’s just going > to play with them at home. > I’m sure his 9 yr old brother has helped promote his feeling silly – my 9 yr > old > wouldn’t be caught dead with anything that’s for girls! > He really, really, really wants Detective Barbie for the computer for > Christmas, > which I’m also fine about but I noticed in the sampler of this software that it > says in one of the screens that it’s Detective Barbie "for girls". > Here’s my concern. I’m afraid that it’s going to effect him that he feels he > needs to keep something he likes hidden away for fear of ridicule. I don’t > want > him feeling like something is wrong with him. > I’m sure that many of the posters here must have boys who liked playing with > Barbies and I’m wondering how that worked in regards to the reactions of other > children. > We were at the store yesterday and my son was looking at Batman software > with another child around his age. My son loves Batman. Then my son saw > Detective Barbie sitting on the shelf and got it down so that we could look at > the pictures on the back of it and talk about them. The mother of the other > child kind of laughed and said "He likes Barbie??" I thought she was rude but > unfortunately that’s how people feel and I wonder if I should be talking about > that > with my son or if I should remain indifferent to it all.
My youngest also liked Barbies at around age 3-4, and we had a similar experience. My reaction was to put my nose in the air a bit and sniff "Why yes, he enjoys all types of toys. *We* don’t encourage gender stereotyping in our house." A little snooty? Yep. But I got my point across. I would have no more made a comment like that to a boy than I would have made a comment like that to a girl who was looking at Tonka trucks. tsk. My sons have always had some sort of baby doll. We wanted to encourage nurturing behaviors in the hope that it will help them later on when they’re grown and are fathers themselves. My 12 year old still has the newborn baby boy that was purchased for him when I was pregnant with my younger son (he was 3 1/2 when he got ‘Alex’). Some of his friends have commented ‘You’ve got a doll?’ and he has explained why he got Alex in the first place and that Alex is kind of like family now….that Alex reminds him of when he was little. His friends have been cool about it and accept the reasoning. Both boys have these little, pocket sized teddy bears that my father gave them to comfort them when my mother was dying. ’Snowball’ and ‘Puffball’ are cherished members of the family, and they are beloved ‘bedfriends’ to the boys. They helped them get through a very difficult time in our lives, as they both adored my mom and had a very special relationship with her. The cutest thing was when my younger son has a little neighbor girl over to play when he was about 5. She wanted to play ‘house’, and he agreed. It got quiet in his room, so I went to peek my head in to make sure they were still in there <g>, and they were being ‘parents’ — she was feeding one of her baby dolls, and Daniel was changing ‘Alex’, and was being very efficient about it. The girl looked over at him and said, eyes wide, "Gee, you really know what you’re doing, don’t you?" If I’d been drinking a beverage, I’d have spit it out my nose! :) Leah loves her sons’ nurturing ways
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