Question:
WOW! There’s a new one. AJPDLA > the kidnapper got the child into the bathroom, died (sic) the child’s hair
black, then >attempted to sneak him out but was caught at the door!
Response:
To AJP – You wrote something about how kids don’t just act up to act up. How true, and how insightful of you! You sound like a wonderful father. jen
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> this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I > do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales > people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, > touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him? I > can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is > important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see > what my son is up to now? any advice on that?
Have him in a stroller, hold him (like on your hip), or hold his hand. Banty
Response:
> >this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I >do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales >people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, >touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him? > Don’t take a toddler to places like that. Are his grandparents available? > You could always hire a babysitter. A person could even trade babysitting. > You and a friend could take turns shopping and babysitting.
Elaine, clearly you haven’t lived life with a small child to take care of. *Sometimes* one could do that, but making such arrangements for every errand would be prohibitively restrictive. Plus, one way to keep a toddler interested is to take him places. Banty
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> I >can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is >important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see >what my son is up to now? any advice on that?
Yes … bring a stroller. If he can’t walk with you, strap him into it. Or use a cart from the store. I LOVE the 3-seater shopping carts! They are a gift from God, IMHO … Krystal "Life isn’t measured by how many breaths we take but by how many moments that take our breath away" Eat the "treat" in my address to e-mail me.
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Shopping carts are not all that safe, though, so please be careful. Once my 4 yo reached out for something on the shelf – it was just a split second – next thing I knew she fell out of the cart and right smack on her head! Thank goodness stores are now adopting those great carts that have the specially designed seats with seatbelts in front! jen They also make a strap device you can carry in your purse and use in any shopping cart to secure your child. Would be worth the money if you went to a lot of different stores or to a store that didn’t have the good cards. They look comfy – I thought of getting one just to keep ds from sucking on the cart handle :-p. Nikki
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> I personally feel that a 3 yo should not be allowed to run around a > grocery store or mall – at that age they definetly belong in a shopping > cart or stroller. You could lose them, for one thing. At our mall a 3 yo > child ran away from his mom and a stranger tried to abduct him! It also > happened at a busy kids’ clothing store – the kidnapper got the child > into the bathroom, died the child’s hair black, then attempted to sneak > him out but was caught at the door!
this is an urban legend — try tracking each of these stories to their actual source [e.g. at the mall what evidence is there that a 'stranger tried to abduct him'? Could have happened, but in our area several of these stories trumpeted all over the news turned out to be bogus or misunderstandings e.g. one man moved a kid out of the street on his big wheel and was reported as trying to lure a kid into his van with beenie babies (the guy was driving a sedan and on his way to work) Apparently the mom saw the man pulling the kid to the side of the road, panicked and by the time enough people had said 'hey what if they used those beenie babies, anyone would get in the car -- a totally false rumor was sweeping the city] The dyed hair bit has been repeated continuously, but no one has ever documented it. Same with the famous disneyworld — ‘recognized only by her shoes which the kidnappers had not changed story’ Stranger abductions are very rare — most stories turn out to be rumors with no basis or parental abuse covered up with kidnapping stories. of course you are right that toddlers shouldn’t be running around in stores — but the greatest danger is tripping someone or pulling something onto their head or stumbling into other physical danger I’ve had a few panic attacks when my – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> kids ducked under the clothing racks and I couldn’t find them – that > taught me a lesson real fast. My kids have not been allowed to walk > through stores until they hit age 5, and even then I am ever vigilant > that they remain within handholding distance at all times. > Shopping carts are not all that safe, though, so please be careful. Once > my 4 yo reached out for something on the shelf – it was just a split > second – next thing I knew she fell out of the cart and right smack on > her head! Thank goodness stores are now adopting those great carts that > have the specially designed seats with seatbelts in front! > jen
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> WOW! There’s a new one.
Real new == it is a classic urban legend that has been around for about 20 years – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> AJPDLA > the kidnapper got the child into the bathroom, died (sic) the child’s hair > black, then >attempted to sneak him out but was caught at the door!
Response:
> Shopping carts are not all that safe, though, so please be careful. Once > my 4 yo reached out for something on the shelf – it was just a split > second – next thing I knew she fell out of the cart and right smack on > her head! Thank goodness stores are now adopting those great carts that > have the specially designed seats with seatbelts in front! > jen
I can’t picture this if your child was sitting in the back part provided for that purpose. Was she? Banty
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Yes … bring a stroller. If he can’t walk with you, strap him into it. Or > use a cart from the store. I LOVE the 3-seater shopping carts! They are a > gift from God, IMHO … > Krystal
Yes, Krystal aren’t they. I have three kids and it makes going to the store so much better. I also get them something to eat and drink while I shop. This holds their attention for a while. Sue B.
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I personally feel that a 3 yo should not be allowed to run around a grocery store or mall – at that age they definetly belong in a shopping cart or stroller. You could lose them, for one thing. At our mall a 3 yo child ran away from his mom and a stranger tried to abduct him! It also happened at a busy kids’ clothing store – the kidnapper got the child into the bathroom, died the child’s hair black, then attempted to sneak him out but was caught at the door! I’ve had a few panic attacks when my kids ducked under the clothing racks and I couldn’t find them – that taught me a lesson real fast. My kids have not been allowed to walk through stores until they hit age 5, and even then I am ever vigilant that they remain within handholding distance at all times. Shopping carts are not all that safe, though, so please be careful. Once my 4 yo reached out for something on the shelf – it was just a split second – next thing I knew she fell out of the cart and right smack on her head! Thank goodness stores are now adopting those great carts that have the specially designed seats with seatbelts in front! jen
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heh heh…. don’t plan on having any adult conversation for years to come…. ;-) Seriously, there are two schools of thought on this common dilemma. I say "common" because this is intrinsic to children of that age – he’s not a brat, he’s just a normal three year old, curious about the world with lots of gross motor skills to develop. You can: 1) Take him along with you and put up with it – in time and with patience, he will get accustomed to going out and about with you. If you play your cards well, you could end up with a kid you can take anywhere and expect to behave reasonably well. But it doesn’t happen overnight, and not without a lot of forbearance and gentle guidance from you. -OR – 2) You can leave him at home in care of a sitter, or just never go out anywhere at all. I know quite a few parents who adopt this route. They just don’t want to deal with the hassle and stress of dragging a 3 yo around the mall or grocery store. Personally, I think this just delays the inevitable – children have to learn how to behave in public sometime. But, it is an option, and from what I see, there are a fair amount of parents who choose it. I will add that I commend my one friend who chose this route because she was at least very honest about her own limitations and lack of patience. Staying at home minimized the stress between her and her child and made her life smoother. She saved shopping and errands for the weekends and evenings, as she didn’t believe in babysitters. (of course, nowadays, there is a fair amount of errand-running you can accomplish from the comfort of your pc and internet connection, but that’s another post). Should you choose option #1, a few helpful hints: – always time your outings around your child’s schedule – i.e., never go out when he is tired or hungry. – limit your outings to only one destination. I learned this the hard way – if I tried too many stops, in and out of car seats, etc, the kids just deteriorated. One stop per day, preferably no longer than an hour in length, seems to work the best. IOW, don’t try and drag your child around the mall for 5 hours! – Plan in something "kid-centric" with each excursion, and do it first vs last. For example, I used to let the kids go on one of those 50-cent rides right before entering Wal-Mart to pick up diapers. Also, when I wanted to go to the mall to try on clothes, I’d first stop at the candy store – they’d be quite occupied with the candy long enough for me to try on a few things. – Shopping carts and strollers work great! Strap them in so they can’t escape! Also, their little feet won’t complain so much. – Don’t expect them to be patient while you chat away with a salesperson or friend – they won’t be! They still aren’t all that patient, and my kids are now 5 and 7! This is, alas, just the "nature of the beast." However, I found a good strategy is to bring along another parent-friend and their child/children. Then you have two eyes watching out for all the kids, so if you need to chat with the salesperson, your friend can watch over your kids for a few minutes. – another strategy that works well for me is to make a promise contingent on how they behave. I.e.: "I know grocery shopping bores you, but if you can behave for an hour, I promise to stop at the playground for a little bit on the way home." Yes, it’s a bribe, but it works! – If your child has a meltdown in the middle of the store, first assess if he is tired or hungry. If so, personally I would not give a time-out. Instead, I’d bear with him (not feeding into it, but not punishing either), and get him some food or out of the store as quickly as I can. If however the tantrum or behavior is a form of "testing" then I would set expectations, give one warning, and then give a time-out for repeat offense. This might mean dropping everything and leaving the store. I would make a point of coming back into the store once he’s gained control (so he doesn’t start using the tantrum as a means to abort your shopping trips every time). – Finally, relax, take a deep breath. Keep calm and in control, no matter what he throws at you. That is the most important thing – preventing escalation. Eventually he will get the message and his behavior will improve. But don’t expect it to happen overnight. jen
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Missed the beginning of this thread, but had a few moments to sit here and read a little, so thought I’d put my two cents in. My son is 2, but he’ll be at 3 soon enough. He isn’t a brat, YET, but he does have many of the mannerisms you type of. It’s funny, I really thought I would have a problem with a kid who wanted to act up in public. Before we had children, when out in public, we’d see the mother’s (I never really saw or noticed many fathers with their kids – alone, that is) having to deal with their kids when they acted up in public. They’d look around and have that embarrassed look on their faces like they were causing everyone else discomfort by having their child screaming and carrying on, you know, the standard "causing a scene" that I am sure we all are now shaking our heads about as we are reading this sentence. It’s gonna happen, just a matter of when and where. Anyway, before I go off on a tangent on that one. I really did think that being a stay-at-home-dad and having to go out with my son that, if and when he created a scene, that I would have a problem. Most of the time, I have a stroller with me (in fact, always – if not on hand, in the trunk, just a simple umbrella stroller) and, if he wants to "do something," I have NO problem just putting him in that stroller and letting him cry it out. He’ll get over it. Sometimes a little distraction doesn’t hurt, like a toy or something else he can get his hands on. I’ve found, in my limited time and experience as a father, that a child will not just act up to act up. They want something, be it attention or what else. Sometimes they have to lean that the attention thing has to be put on hold. Parents need to do their "adult" things at times and, until they’re done, the child can wait, patiently or not. Either way, it’s gonna get done. What do I do, you might ask, when he gets to 3 and can unlock his stroller? Well, I would hope that by that time, doing what I do in terms of raising and guidance, that he would get to the point of just listening to me (YEAH, RIGHT, at 3!!!), but, again, I’ll have no problem dealing with it, I’m sure. While it does cause a scene to have to discipline your child in public, it must be done. It’s your child you’re raising, nobody else is raising him or her, and if they want to give you the leers and jeers, just turn to them like I do and say something like, "What, you never gave your parents problems in public before???" They’ll leave you alone QUICK. Screw ‘em. I just love doing that in restaurants. We ain’t goin’ anywhere. LOL. So what do you do? Be the parent. Be the boss. Lay out the parameters of behavior before you go out and get your child to agree to them. I tell my son, at 2, what we’re going to do, ask him if it’s all right, get that "yes," and then slap him a fiver on it. He loves that. Then we go about our business and, when he forgets what we spoke about, I politely remind him and go from there, if I need to. The bottom line is show love always, and never be afraid of being firm. Structure is key. AJP – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I > do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales > people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, > touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him? I > can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is > important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see > what my son is up to now? any advice on that?
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I agree with everyone else- go with a stroller or a harness. Try to run your "big errands" when he is not around. Do you have acess to a Mothers Morning out? That has been a lifesaver for me. Most of the larger churches and syagoges around here have them available. Also when he does some thing you like -praise him to the skies!! Be specific- " I am really proud of the way you were quiet when I was on the phone" etc.. Three y.olds are tough- I find that lots of praise works best with mine. Also keeping them very busy!!! J – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I >> do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales >> people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, >> touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him? I >> can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is >> important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see >> what my son is up to now? any advice on that? >> * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion >Network *The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – >Free! >A child who behaves like this in public must be supervised — use a leash >or a stroller and put him in it if he doesn’t stick to your side [which >may be >asking a bit much of some 3 year olds -- but most cope pretty well] Kids >should never be allowed to ‘run off’ without responding to Mom > A good friend and dear lady had a toddler who liked to "run off". One day, > the child "ran off" directly into the path of a speeding car.
Before you buy.
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I > do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales > people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, > touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him? I > can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is > important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see > what my son is up to now? any advice on that? > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion >Network *The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – >Free! >A child who behaves like this in public must be supervised — use a leash >or a stroller and put him in it if he doesn’t stick to your side [which >may be >asking a bit much of some 3 year olds -- but most cope pretty well] Kids >should never be allowed to ‘run off’ without responding to Mom
A good friend and dear lady had a toddler who liked to "run off". One day, the child "ran off" directly into the path of a speeding car.
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>this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I >do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales >people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, >touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him?
Don’t take a toddler to places like that. Are his grandparents available? You could always hire a babysitter. A person could even trade babysitting. You and a friend could take turns shopping and babysitting. Small children running loose in stores can also be difficult for other shoppers. Todders jump in front of shopping carts, pitch hissies if their moms tell them "no", and do knock down a lot of merchandice. I >can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is >important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see >what my son is up to now? any advice on that?
Sure. That’s why he needs his play yard and/or babyproof playroom. He has a real need to explore and play. He just doesn’t need to do it all over the house. Your little boy can be playing merrily in his securely fenced play yard while you have a friend over for lunch. You could even set up a little picnic table inside the play yard and entertain there.
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>this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I >do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales >people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, >touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him? I >can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is >important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see >what my son is up to now? any advice on that?
Don’t let your son run loose in a store. He’s a danger to others and will likely break something that you may have to pay for. He’s going to have to learn to hold your hand and stay close to you. You have to talk a LOT to keep up a running patter about what you are doing, in order to keep his mind engaged. You might keep a little "shopping bag" with small stuff (not too small or you’ll lose it) that he can do right beside you. Coloring book, non-noisy toys. He doesn’t see these until you need to talk. Occupy him, have a brief conversation, and get going. His attention span isn’t long, so you’ll have to move quickly. If you can, interrupt your conversation to comment on what he’s doing or to give him another idea. "Can you color that in blue?" Do not let him get away and keep calling him to come back; he’ll quickly learn that you don’t really mean it. He stays by you, period. Or, he’ll have to stay at home until he’s older. Lynne If you are in the grocery store he can push one of those little carts around or help you — kind of a pain, but they like to be busy, busy. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
> this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I > do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales > people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, > touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him? I > can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is > important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see > what my son is up to now? any advice on that? > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion
Network *The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free! A child who behaves like this in public must be supervised — use a leash or a stroller and put him in it if he doesn’t stick to your side [which may be asking a bit much of some 3 year olds -- but most cope pretty well] Kids should never be allowed to ‘run off’ without responding to Mom – if he ignores you, then your first task is to consistently follow through and not try to direct him with words. Kids whose parents follow through don’t do this — because they aren’t allowed to — and they learn to mind. A three year old is plenty well aware of what Mom expects if she has been consistent. You can’t expect to have those ‘adult’ conversations if you haven’t already taught him to behave — so you need some outings where the primary purpose is teaching him public behavior —
Response:
this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him? I can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see what my son is up to now? any advice on that? * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Three year olds don’t need to be sent away in order to be entertained. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m a stay-at-home mom and I need some help with my 3 year old son. I > know that he’s just trying to find out where his boundaries lie, but > I’m starting to get fed up. I’m looking for help on parenting > techniques. I have tried time-out. I have tried the 5-count. I have > tried taking priviledges away. I have threatened taking toys away. > None of this seems to work and I don’t want to resort to spanking him > because I believe this seriously affects (and will affect) the way he > handles situations. My mother has tried to help me with him, but he > just wears us out. She has no useful advice for me. If anyone can > help, please do! >does he have enough to do? You might put him in a pre-school part time — >it sounds like he is bored with his environment. Otherwise, toddlers need >to have space where they can explore and do stuff – without running up >against no nos all the time. This might mean making parts of the house >off limits [except with you] and then creating kid friendly active options >in the area he has access to. [I have a friend who had a child size train >ride and a trapeze in her living room -- not recommending you go that far >-- but it sure kept their little dynamo occupied. ]Focusing on negative >stuff like punishment and controls rather than on positive stuff i.e. >activities for him to burn that energy on may be part of the problem. It >sounds like he needs to spend a lot of time outdoors on play equipment >DOING stuff; that he needs to have some engaging activities in the house. >He is also old enough to involve in chores — [this won't be anyh >'help' to you on the chores -- but it constructively engages him and gets >him in the habit of helping which pays off later] Have him help you carry >stuff to the washer, or feed the cat, or hold the dustpan while you sweep >– set the table etc etc. You might actually plan your week with thought >to how to engage him in your chores as well as plan special outings etc >for him. >It also helps to keep notes on your day — what is he doing at each point >– what precedes difficult periods — sometimes when you are in the middle >of chaos it is hard to see the patterns or what may be provoking >difficulties — sometimes just changing the schedule of thibngs to do — >or when snacks are etc makes a big difference. >On disobedience – you need to be calm and firm — no wheedling or second >chances — the key may be not trying so many different things, but >following through consistently on a few e.g. if you isolate him when he is >destructive EVERY time and repeatedly, while at the same time planning to >engage him in constructive activity, you may get results. Kids sense it >when Mom is ‘trying everying’ — it communicates exasperation and lack of >control — you need to just follow through again and again before giving >up on a technique. >He sounds like he has more energy than you expected — see if you and Dad >can’t figure out activities to get him positively engaged so his main >source of entertainment isn’t resisting Mom.
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> Three year olds don’t need to be sent away in order to be entertained.
like you have a clue Elaine. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> I’m a stay-at-home mom and I need some help with my 3 year old son. I >> know that he’s just trying to find out where his boundaries lie, but >> I’m starting to get fed up. I’m looking for help on parenting >> techniques. I have tried time-out. I have tried the 5-count. I have >> tried taking priviledges away. I have threatened taking toys away. >> None of this seems to work and I don’t want to resort to spanking him >> because I believe this seriously affects (and will affect) the way he >> handles situations. My mother has tried to help me with him, but he >> just wears us out. She has no useful advice for me. If anyone can >> help, please do! >does he have enough to do? You might put him in a pre-school part time — >it sounds like he is bored with his environment. Otherwise, toddlers need >to have space where they can explore and do stuff – without running up >against no nos all the time. This might mean making parts of the house >off limits [except with you] and then creating kid friendly active options >in the area he has access to. [I have a friend who had a child size train >ride and a trapeze in her living room -- not recommending you go that far >-- but it sure kept their little dynamo occupied. ]Focusing on negative >stuff like punishment and controls rather than on positive stuff i.e. >activities for him to burn that energy on may be part of the problem. It >sounds like he needs to spend a lot of time outdoors on play equipment >DOING stuff; that he needs to have some engaging activities in the house. >He is also old enough to involve in chores — [this won't be anyh >'help' to you on the chores -- but it constructively engages him and gets >him in the habit of helping which pays off later] Have him help you carry >stuff to the washer, or feed the cat, or hold the dustpan while you sweep >– set the table etc etc. You might actually plan your week with thought >to how to engage him in your chores as well as plan special outings etc >for him. >It also helps to keep notes on your day — what is he doing at each point >– what precedes difficult periods — sometimes when you are in the middle >of chaos it is hard to see the patterns or what may be provoking >difficulties — sometimes just changing the schedule of thibngs to do — >or when snacks are etc makes a big difference. >On disobedience – you need to be calm and firm — no wheedling or second >chances — the key may be not trying so many different things, but >following through consistently on a few e.g. if you isolate him when he is >destructive EVERY time and repeatedly, while at the same time planning to >engage him in constructive activity, you may get results. Kids sense it >when Mom is ‘trying everying’ — it communicates exasperation and lack of >control — you need to just follow through again and again before giving >up on a technique. >He sounds like he has more energy than you expected — see if you and Dad >can’t figure out activities to get him positively engaged so his main >source of entertainment isn’t resisting Mom.
Response:
> I’m a stay-at-home mom and I need some help with my 3 year old son. I > know that he’s just trying to find out where his boundaries lie, but > I’m starting to get fed up. I’m looking for help on parenting > techniques. I have tried time-out. I have tried the 5-count. I have > tried taking priviledges away. I have threatened taking toys away. > None of this seems to work and I don’t want to resort to spanking him > because I believe this seriously affects (and will affect) the way he > handles situations. My mother has tried to help me with him, but he > just wears us out. She has no useful advice for me. If anyone can > help, please do!
does he have enough to do? You might put him in a pre-school part time — it sounds like he is bored with his environment. Otherwise, toddlers need to have space where they can explore and do stuff – without running up against no nos all the time. This might mean making parts of the house off limits [except with you] and then creating kid friendly active options in the area he has access to. [I have a friend who had a child size train ride and a trapeze in her living room -- not recommending you go that far -- but it sure kept their little dynamo occupied. ]Focusing on negative stuff like punishment and controls rather than on positive stuff i.e. activities for him to burn that energy on may be part of the problem. It sounds like he needs to spend a lot of time outdoors on play equipment DOING stuff; that he needs to have some engaging activities in the house. He is also old enough to involve in chores — [this won't be anyh 'help' to you on the chores -- but it constructively engages him and gets him in the habit of helping which pays off later] Have him help you carry stuff to the washer, or feed the cat, or hold the dustpan while you sweep — set the table etc etc. You might actually plan your week with thought to how to engage him in your chores as well as plan special outings etc for him. It also helps to keep notes on your day — what is he doing at each point — what precedes difficult periods — sometimes when you are in the middle of chaos it is hard to see the patterns or what may be provoking difficulties — sometimes just changing the schedule of thibngs to do — or when snacks are etc makes a big difference. On disobedience – you need to be calm and firm — no wheedling or second chances — the key may be not trying so many different things, but following through consistently on a few e.g. if you isolate him when he is destructive EVERY time and repeatedly, while at the same time planning to engage him in constructive activity, you may get results. Kids sense it when Mom is ‘trying everying’ — it communicates exasperation and lack of control — you need to just follow through again and again before giving up on a technique. He sounds like he has more energy than you expected — see if you and Dad can’t figure out activities to get him positively engaged so his main source of entertainment isn’t resisting Mom.
Response:
I’m a stay-at-home mom and I need some help with my 3 year old son. I know that he’s just trying to find out where his boundaries lie, but I’m starting to get fed up. I’m looking for help on parenting techniques. I have tried time-out. I have tried the 5-count. I have tried taking priviledges away. I have threatened taking toys away. None of this seems to work and I don’t want to resort to spanking him because I believe this seriously affects (and will affect) the way he handles situations. My mother has tried to help me with him, but he just wears us out. She has no useful advice for me. If anyone can help, please do! kalisti * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
>I’m a stay-at-home mom and I need some help with my 3 year old son. I >know that he’s just trying to find out where his boundaries lie, but >I’m starting to get fed up.
MAKE your toddler’s boundaries. Build a little play area for him to play and explore. Fence if off so he won’t be running you ragged. Begging, pleading, explaining all mean very little to tiny children. He’s not "bratty" or a naughty little boy. He’s just a normal, active toddler with a ton of energy. I’m looking for help on parenting >techniques. I have tried time-out. I have tried the 5-count. I have >tried taking priviledges away. I have threatened taking toys away.
He’s only going to be a baby for a few years. In two years, you’ll be packing him off to kindergarten. You’ll pick up his tiny shoes, his rubber duckie and then feel blue because your baby is gone… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->None of this seems to work and I don’t want to resort to spanking him >because I believe this seriously affects (and will affect) the way he >handles situations. My mother has tried to help me with him, but he >just wears us out. She has no useful advice for me. If anyone can >help, please do! >kalisti >* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * >The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Do you have a friend you can trade "babysitting time" with? For instance, you look after her child for a couple of hours, while she does things for herself, and then she takes your little guy for a couple of hours while you do your errands, or just relax. My DD just turned 3, and she loves to have one of her friends over to play with. They usually play for long periods of time together which keeps them both entertained, and gives me a chance to catch up on other things around the house. I liked the advice about the play school too. It will give you both a break for a few hours. Rose – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >this is all very helpful advice. thank you very much. but what do I >do when we’re shopping and I have errands that I have to do, sales >people I have to talk to, and I have my son running hither and thither, >touching expensive stuff and running off where I can’t see him? I >can’t possibly have an adult conversation, especially one that is >important, when I have to be turning around every 30 seconds to see >what my son is up to now? any advice on that? >* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * >The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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