Question:
My son was born with a very weak suck, so I had to pump to build up my milk supply. It took me an hour to get an ounce or two of breast milk into him. My lactation consultant gave us "sucking exercises" to improve his suck, and in about 4 to 6 weeks the problem was resolved. Good Luck Heidi
Response:
One of the best supports for breast feeding my wife and I received was through a "lactation consultant" who used to work in the maternity unit where our son was born. He was 10 lb. at birth and HUNGRY. Unfortunately he didn’t take to nursing at first so we had to use a SNS, which became my responsibility because the nurses and lactation consultant didn’t want Caleb to associate that kind of feeding, vs. BF, with Mom. I had fun being the one to administer the feedings. The lactation consultant helped us gradually shift the feedings to nursing. A lot of it had to do with positioning, and patience. It was a struggle for a while, and my wife certainly felt, for a while, like she was a failure at nursing. The consultant was great with that aspect, and helped me to be too. We stopped using the SNS somewhere around 4 weeks, I think. Now Caleb is very happy to nurse, though he’s so big and hungry that we supplement with formula. Get support and don’t give up easily. Good luck.
Response:
Yikes! You win! 
Kathleen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Kathleen, I think I can top that, (did you ever think otherwise?=)) Jacob was >gaining weight poorly so I consulted with a lactation consultant. She started >me on the Supplemental Nursing System and sent me home with a breast pump. I >would have to make up formula, set up the SNS system (a lot of work 5 different >parts) then tape a tube down my breast and get the baby latched on with out tape >in his mouth and the tube in his mouth as well as a proper latch. Then after >nursing for 30 or so minutes, I would have to pump my breasts for 20 minutes. >Then store the milk, clean up the SNS, actually acknowledge my sweet 2.5 yr. old >daughter, pee, and set it up again I did this for awhile only to find out Jake >lost 2 oz on this crazy method, not knowing at the time why, he had reflux and >wasn’t taking in nearly enough, during nursing he would arch and become >unlatched and get upset while I tried to get him back on. I am completely >sympathetic to what you are saying. It is awful when you want something so bad >and know how good it should be for the baby, but it just isn’t working. I >didn’t eat for days and cried all the time. I felt so bad, like I had done >something wrong. My husband finally said to me "What’s the most important thing >to you?" I answered the Jake gain weight, he says, well he’s not and he has >better chance of gaining weight with a bottle. So that day I called up the >lactation consultant told her what was going on and she started me off with this >stupid Habermann feeder. Yuck, I hatred that thing. I bought an Avent and for >Jake, he took it much better, but when we first started giving bottles it took >at least 45 minutes to get a lousy 1.5 oz into him. Of course lately he’s >starting to back track, that’s another thread. >(SNS note: It is useful and has benefited many other women, and would have >served its purpose but because of Jake’s reflux he had a suck/swallow/breath >problem.)
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Response:
Kathleen, I think I can top that, (did you ever think otherwise?=)) Jacob was gaining weight poorly so I consulted with a lactation consultant. She started me on the Supplemental Nursing System and sent me home with a breast pump. I would have to make up formula, set up the SNS system (a lot of work 5 different parts) then tape a tube down my breast and get the baby latched on with out tape in his mouth and the tube in his mouth as well as a proper latch. Then after nursing for 30 or so minutes, I would have to pump my breasts for 20 minutes. Then store the milk, clean up the SNS, actually acknowledge my sweet 2.5 yr. old daughter, pee, and set it up again I did this for awhile only to find out Jake lost 2 oz on this crazy method, not knowing at the time why, he had reflux and wasn’t taking in nearly enough, during nursing he would arch and become unlatched and get upset while I tried to get him back on. I am completely sympathetic to what you are saying. It is awful when you want something so bad and know how good it should be for the baby, but it just isn’t working. I didn’t eat for days and cried all the time. I felt so bad, like I had done something wrong. My husband finally said to me "What’s the most important thing to you?" I answered the Jake gain weight, he says, well he’s not and he has better chance of gaining weight with a bottle. So that day I called up the lactation consultant told her what was going on and she started me off with this stupid Habermann feeder. Yuck, I hatred that thing. I bought an Avent and for Jake, he took it much better, but when we first started giving bottles it took at least 45 minutes to get a lousy 1.5 oz into him. Of course lately he’s starting to back track, that’s another thread. (SNS note: It is useful and has benefited many other women, and would have served its purpose but because of Jake’s reflux he had a suck/swallow/breath problem.) — Kandee M. Wright Web Site Developer http://www.alphalinx.com/ http://www.alphalinx.com/~kandee
:Kandee: : :You are SO right… but add this one into the mix: how about — nurse till :the baby’s too tired to suckle the breast, but still hungry. Then, go get :a bottle of expressed milk, and feed it to the baby. Get the baby back to :sleep, then sit and pump for fifteen minutes. Do this from 8-10 times a :day, every day for seven weeks, and you know why I finally put Andrew on :formula. I had the *worst* of both worlds, and none of the best of either. :Of course, if I had it to do over again, I would have stuck it out longer, :but I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown… by the time I’d nursed :him, bottle-fed him, gotten him back to sleep (not an easy task when he :was a little guy), and pumped, I’d usually get about 30-45 minutes to :sleep until the next feeding. : :Kathleen : : :>Speaking as a mom who has both breastfeed and bottle feed, I find breast feeding :>10 times easier even in the first weeks. I couldn’t BF my son because he has a :>suck/swallow problem due to reflux and I find it so much more complicated to :>bottle feed than nurse. You have to make the bottles clean them, and it takes :>two hands to feed. With bfing it took only one hand after a few weeks and I :>could leave the house with diapers and a spare outfit and that’s it now, I have :>to have water, bottles, formula, etc. In the end what matters is that the baby :>thrives but you will find breast feeding a lot easier. :> :>Don’t actually give the baby bottles, but next time the baby asks to eat, don’t :>just offer the breast go in the kitchen and run warm water, make sure it is room :>temperature, you’ll notice the baby getting fussy, next pour 4 ounces into the :>bottle, (if you don’t have one just use a glass), now add 2 scoops of powder :>(can be anything), Is the baby screaming yet? Now shake (cover the top with :>your hand if it’s just a glass, make sure it is well mixed, Is the baby getting :>louder? Some mom’s are lucky enough to predict feedings, but some aren’t. Now :>grab a bib put it on the baby and settle down and nurse her (breastfeed). See :>how long that took? I know as babies get older they settle into a schedule and :>bottle feeding becomes easier, but nothing is easier that a warm breast filled :>with sanitary, just the right temperature milk. If I seem a little harsh, I :>just wanted to show how that it isn’t easier. Not all babies end up on a 3 to 4 :>hour schedule either. : :**Spam Trap** :Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail.
Response:
Kandee: You are SO right… but add this one into the mix: how about — nurse till the baby’s too tired to suckle the breast, but still hungry. Then, go get a bottle of expressed milk, and feed it to the baby. Get the baby back to sleep, then sit and pump for fifteen minutes. Do this from 8-10 times a day, every day for seven weeks, and you know why I finally put Andrew on formula. I had the *worst* of both worlds, and none of the best of either. Of course, if I had it to do over again, I would have stuck it out longer, but I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown… by the time I’d nursed him, bottle-fed him, gotten him back to sleep (not an easy task when he was a little guy), and pumped, I’d usually get about 30-45 minutes to sleep until the next feeding. Kathleen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Speaking as a mom who has both breastfeed and bottle feed, I find breast feeding >10 times easier even in the first weeks. I couldn’t BF my son because he has a >suck/swallow problem due to reflux and I find it so much more complicated to >bottle feed than nurse. You have to make the bottles clean them, and it takes >two hands to feed. With bfing it took only one hand after a few weeks and I >could leave the house with diapers and a spare outfit and that’s it now, I have >to have water, bottles, formula, etc. In the end what matters is that the baby >thrives but you will find breast feeding a lot easier. >Don’t actually give the baby bottles, but next time the baby asks to eat, don’t >just offer the breast go in the kitchen and run warm water, make sure it is room >temperature, you’ll notice the baby getting fussy, next pour 4 ounces into the >bottle, (if you don’t have one just use a glass), now add 2 scoops of powder >(can be anything), Is the baby screaming yet? Now shake (cover the top with >your hand if it’s just a glass, make sure it is well mixed, Is the baby getting >louder? Some mom’s are lucky enough to predict feedings, but some aren’t. Now >grab a bib put it on the baby and settle down and nurse her (breastfeed). See >how long that took? I know as babies get older they settle into a schedule and >bottle feeding becomes easier, but nothing is easier that a warm breast filled >with sanitary, just the right temperature milk. If I seem a little harsh, I >just wanted to show how that it isn’t easier. Not all babies end up on a 3 to 4 >hour schedule either.
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Response:
Speaking as a mom who has both breastfeed and bottle feed, I find breast feeding 10 times easier even in the first weeks. I couldn’t BF my son because he has a suck/swallow problem due to reflux and I find it so much more complicated to bottle feed than nurse. You have to make the bottles clean them, and it takes two hands to feed. With bfing it took only one hand after a few weeks and I could leave the house with diapers and a spare outfit and that’s it now, I have to have water, bottles, formula, etc. In the end what matters is that the baby thrives but you will find breast feeding a lot easier. Don’t actually give the baby bottles, but next time the baby asks to eat, don’t just offer the breast go in the kitchen and run warm water, make sure it is room temperature, you’ll notice the baby getting fussy, next pour 4 ounces into the bottle, (if you don’t have one just use a glass), now add 2 scoops of powder (can be anything), Is the baby screaming yet? Now shake (cover the top with your hand if it’s just a glass, make sure it is well mixed, Is the baby getting louder? Some mom’s are lucky enough to predict feedings, but some aren’t. Now grab a bib put it on the baby and settle down and nurse her (breastfeed). See how long that took? I know as babies get older they settle into a schedule and bottle feeding becomes easier, but nothing is easier that a warm breast filled with sanitary, just the right temperature milk. If I seem a little harsh, I just wanted to show how that it isn’t easier. Not all babies end up on a 3 to 4 hour schedule either. — Kandee M. Wright Web Site Developer http://www.alphalinx.com/ http://www.alphalinx.com/~kandee
:Hey, don’t give up so easily. The first four months :are the hardest. THen it gets easy. Let’s face it. :In today’s fast "go-go" world there is no time to :just sit. Which is what you have to do to breastfeed. :Best thing to do is to figure out how to make the time, :Get Dear Hubby to pitch in a bit around the house. :Here are a few tips that my wife found helpfull. :1) Join the Le Leche Leage. They are full of tips :and helpfull information (and moral support too). : :2) Make sure that your baby is getting a full tummy :with each feeding. Sometimes infants will go to :sleep after only a short feeding. Tickle the feet 
f rub the back of the head to keep your baby awake. :You baby should go at least two hours between feedings :at this age. : :3) Night feedings are the worst. Get yourself a :reading pillow (you know, the kind with the arms). :Use this to nurse in bed. Keep your baby in a bassinett :in your room so you don’t have to treck into the :nursery at 4 AM. Hubby may have to spend a :night or two one the couch or in the guest room :if he is botherd too much. I know I did. :Oh, yeah, get a reading lamp with a small bulb, :you don’t need a lot of light at 4 AM to see what you :are doing. It also helps to keep a bottle of water :by your bed as well. Somone else pointed out the :necessity of drinking water while nursing. The :bottle of water means you don’t have to treck to :the bathroom for a drink. :
:>This is a cryptographically signed message in MIME format. :> :>Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii :>Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit :> :>I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep :>up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we :>are both stressed out at the feedings now. :> :>Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula :>before they were ready. :> :>Email responses welcomed too :> :>Cheryl :>ICQ # 28718466 :> : :– :Just my $0.02 worth. :Hope this helps, :Gordon : 
S: :To reply: replace ‘X.bleeb’ with ‘greeder’. :
Response:
Cheryl, have you tried contacting a support group like the La Leche League. They have trained counsellors who have also breastfed themselves. They won’t pressure you to continue if you don’t want to but may be able to offer a few ideas that could help. Sometimes just a simple change in position or taking better care of yourself by resting as often as possible, eating and drinking well, can make all the difference. I gave up BF with my first at 10 weeks because of the same problem and lots of bad advice. Second one fed for 7 months (with support from a local BF counsellor) and third one I am still feeding (22 months – doesn’t suit everyone but we enjoy it). A BF counsellor from LLL may even be able to do a home visit depending on where you live. They have a few web sites.
Response:
Hey, don’t give up so easily. The first four months are the hardest. THen it gets easy. Let’s face it. In today’s fast "go-go" world there is no time to just sit. Which is what you have to do to breastfeed. Best thing to do is to figure out how to make the time, Get Dear Hubby to pitch in a bit around the house. Here are a few tips that my wife found helpfull. 1) Join the Le Leche Leage. They are full of tips and helpfull information (and moral support too). 2) Make sure that your baby is getting a full tummy with each feeding. Sometimes infants will go to sleep after only a short feeding. Tickle the feet of rub the back of the head to keep your baby awake. You baby should go at least two hours between feedings at this age. 3) Night feedings are the worst. Get yourself a reading pillow (you know, the kind with the arms). Use this to nurse in bed. Keep your baby in a bassinett in your room so you don’t have to treck into the nursery at 4 AM. Hubby may have to spend a night or two one the couch or in the guest room if he is botherd too much. I know I did. Oh, yeah, get a reading lamp with a small bulb, you don’t need a lot of light at 4 AM to see what you are doing. It also helps to keep a bottle of water by your bed as well. Somone else pointed out the necessity of drinking water while nursing. The bottle of water means you don’t have to treck to the bathroom for a drink. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->This is a cryptographically signed message in MIME format. >Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii >Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit >I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep >up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we >are both stressed out at the feedings now. >Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula >before they were ready. >Email responses welcomed too >Cheryl >ICQ # 28718466
– Just my $0.02 worth. Hope this helps, Gordon PS: To reply: replace ‘X.bleeb’ with ‘greeder’.
Response:
Can’t offer exactly what your looking for, but a funny story that will let you know your not alone. A couple of weeks after coming home all was well with feeding, but the demands on Mom were great. I took a month off so that helped but it still wiped her out. One evening she was so tired that I literally propped her up in bed, still dead asleep, and held the little one up for the feeding. My wife still only half believes me to this day, but it was the first solid 6 hours she’d had so she gives me the benefit of the doubt. Hang in there, the bonding was noticeably different with our BF child. > I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep > up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we > are both stressed out at the feedings now. > Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula > before they were ready. > Email responses welcomed too > Cheryl > ICQ # 28718466
– Bruce T. Wilson Christian / AANR Frame-Up Photography San Antonio, TX http://frameup.home.texas.net (2 Tim 1:7 KJV) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
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: Try alt.breastfeeding.support and misc..kids.breastfeeding Does anyone have experience with either of those newsgroups? Is one better/friendlier than the other? I’m having problems nursing my 10 month old son–he’s recently taken to biting when he nurses. And I’m not talking about cute little nips, either. I mean really hard bites that leave bite marks and break the skin. I don’t want to give up nursing yet, so I need some suggestions on how to heal the damage and keep him from inflicting more. Laura Uerling
Response:
laura j uerling > >I’m having problems nursing my 10 month old son–he’s recently taken to >biting when he nurses. And I’m not talking about cute little nips, >either. I mean really hard bites that leave bite marks and break the skin. >I don’t want to give up nursing yet, so I need some suggestions on how >to heal the damage and keep him from inflicting more.
To heal the broken skin – express a little breastmilk and rub it onto the skin and let it dry there. To deal with the biting – this often goes along with teething, so it might help to give him a teether to chew on as much as possible between nursing times. Biting usually happens at the end of a feeding, when the baby is pretty much finished (if it happens at the beginning, it can be a sign of significant teething pain, and you may find giving the baby some painkiller will help). When the baby is nursing, his tongue is cupped under the nipple and comes over his bottom gums/teeth. Before he can bite, he has to pull his tongue back (otherwise he would bite his own tongue, too). If you pay attention, you can feel his tongue being pulled back. So if you notice that he’s doing this at the end of the feeding, start paying close attention after he’s nursed for a while. When you feel his tongue moving (or if you miss it, and he starts to bite) you can try to stick your finger in quickly to stop him biting down. I found it was hard to get my finger in quickly enough, though. It worked better for me to use the hand that was already supporting the baby’s head to pull him into my breast, so that his nose was covered and he had to to open his mouth to breathe – releasing the nipple. Then you could offer him a teether or something else to chew on. Some mothers find it helps to say "No biting" or "that hurts" or something when they stop the biting in a loud, firm voice, but I found this really upset at least one of my babies, so I avoided doing that. If your baby is getting a pacifier, you might try getting rid of it. Some babies learn to bite the pacifier – it doesn’t care if the baby sucks or bites – and then try to do the same thing on the breast. Hope this helps. Many babies do go through a biting stage, but most quickly learn not to and are able to continue the nursing relationship. Teresa
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> I’m the father of a 5 month old boy who since day one consumes a lot. > We started him out with just his mom’s milk, but soon realized that she > couldn’t keep up with his demands. So we mix milk and formula and give > it to him in a bottle to supplement nursing. Assuming he’s available > and willing, the father could give a bottle and relieve you of some of > the stress. I love giving my son a bottle, and do it a couple times a > day.
How could Mom ever produce enough if you started supplementing early — no demand – no supply.
Response:
>I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep >up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we >are both stressed out at the feedings now. >Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula >before they were ready. >Email responses welcomed too >Cheryl >ICQ # 28718466
I remember that my son had "growth spurts" at 3 week intervals for the first few months, starting at 3 weeks old where he seemed like a bottomless pit and never satisfied. The key is to keep nursing so that your supply will increase (the nipple stimulation is what increases the production). Also make sure that you’re getting enough fluids and rest, especially towards the late afternoon and evening when you start getting stressed about getting dinner prepared. Leigh in raLeigh
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When our now still nursing happily 1 year old was that young I felt like a human pacifier. It felt like he was never satisfied and he wanted to eat all the time . At about 3 months though he calmed down and had a more regulars schedule. Get as much rest as possible, drink lots of fluids, and nurse often and on demand. If baby is gaining regular weight she’s getting enough. Good luck. We had to switch our 5 year old girl to formula at 6 months. She Liked the ease of drinking the bottle after I had to return to work part-time. Soon she was all bottle fed. She had no problem going to the cup. One day we told her she could only drink from the cup and she did. Try alt.breastfeeding.support and misc..kids.breastfeeding –Laura
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I’m the father of a 5 month old boy who since day one consumes a lot. We started him out with just his mom’s milk, but soon realized that she couldn’t keep up with his demands. So we mix milk and formula and give it to him in a bottle to supplement nursing. Assuming he’s available and willing, the father could give a bottle and relieve you of some of the stress. I love giving my son a bottle, and do it a couple times a day.
Response:
I gave up breastfeeding my son when he was eight months and switched to formula. I found it very hard to keep up with his demands, feeding every two hours, but I persevered. I did, from about three months give him a formula bottle top up at about 6 pm which seemed to help. But keep it up. Its worth it. Rosey – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep >up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we >are both stressed out at the feedings now. >Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula >before they were ready. >Email responses welcomed too >Cheryl >ICQ # 28718466
Response:
I agree that relaxation is the key. I had trouble feeding my first because I was so uptight about the housework, etc. With my second I just let everything slide, and sure enough, he ate great and my milk supply did much better than the first time. It takes a MINIMUM of six weeks to get breastfeeding well-established. Just make sure that she is having at least five or six diapers wet with pale urine every day–that tells you she is indeed getting enough. To increase your supply you can do several things besides relaxing, although I think that is key. You can also try wearing your baby in a carrier or some kind–I like the sling-type carriers. Having that baby close to your body will stimulate milk production. Sleeping with or very near the baby will help, too. If you haven’t learned how to nurse lying down, have someone show you how–it’s great! An herbal tea made of blessed thistle is good, too. there is a prepared one in health food stores called "Mother’s Milk" that is good for increasing milk supply I found. I know that I switched to formula at about six months with my first and HATED it–it was so much less convenient than breastfeeding, actually much MORE work with all the washing and sterilizing and preparing and the hassle of finding a formula that my baby wasn’t sensitive to. I wish I had stuck with the breastfeeding, even though at the time I had felt "touched out." Try sticking with it is my advice also. You could call your local La Leche League leader for more advice. Good luck. TR – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >In the first few months, Breastfeeding will take up much of your >time..then it will slowly taper off so that it is not every 1/2 hour!!:) >You have only been at this for 7 weeks. I know its tough at times, but >forget about the dishes. the laundry. THese things will wait. >Just enjoy your baby. They are only young for a very short while. I would >urge you to continue with Breastfeeding as it really is the best thing you >can be doing at this point in your childs life. >Keep up the good work, it will get easier, I promise. >Cheers,>C > I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep > up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we > are both stressed out at the feedings now. > Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula > before they were ready. > Email responses welcomed too > Cheryl > ICQ # 28718466
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In the first few months, Breastfeeding will take up much of your time..then it will slowly taper off so that it is not every 1/2 hour!!:) You have only been at this for 7 weeks. I know its tough at times, but forget about the dishes. the laundry. THese things will wait. Just enjoy your baby. They are only young for a very short while. I would urge you to continue with Breastfeeding as it really is the best thing you can be doing at this point in your childs life. Keep up the good work, it will get easier, I promise. Cheers,>C – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep > up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we > are both stressed out at the feedings now. > Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula > before they were ready. > Email responses welcomed too > Cheryl > ICQ # 28718466
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep > up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we > are both stressed out at the feedings now. > Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula > before they were ready. > Email responses welcomed too > Cheryl > ICQ # 28718466
See if you can’t hang in there for another 5 weeks or so — I had a rough start with my first and only hung in because I was trying to prevent the terrible allergies on both sides of the family [my now 24 year old son is incredibly healthy and has never had allergies so it either worked or we were lucky] After about 3 mos, it became quite easy. He nursed generally on a reasonable schedule with almost always 4 hours or so between nursings — and it was so convenient and easy as well as such a peaceful time to be with him. He did nurse in the middle of the night — but only once and went right back to sleep –. It really is difficult at first — but for most, it gets easier.
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Cheryl, Have you checked out alt.kids.breastfeeding or I think that’s it, I know there is a bfing newsgroup though. Marie B. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >You could be dehydrated. >Are you drinking a full glass of water or juice or milk before you nurse >her? Fill up the glass again and take the drink with you when you sit or >lie down to nurse her. Drink another full glass of liquid after you are >through. Think pleasant thoughts and take good care of the breasts. >Remind yourself you are doing EXACTLY what you should be doing. You will >make more milk and then breast feeding will be a breeze. It is so easy once >your breasts adjust. Give it more time. Consult with a lactation expert >for some more tips. >Skip the beer and wine advise you might get from friends. It makes the baby >spit up and a couple of studies I found on the ‘net (cited in another >thread) show the alcohol is delivered to the baby. Slight, but significant, >impairment of motor function was noted in 12 mo. old babies whose moms >consumed one or more alcoholic drinks a day. >I found it took my body about 3 months to catch up with or adjust to my >first baby’s needs. It was so hard to keep going when he was gaining almost >a pound a week on breast milk alone. I too thought about switching to >formula. But, I swear to you, I remember when I was switched to formula as >a baby. I hated it, nasty, bitter stuff. >My second baby grew at a slower rate and had too much milk. I had to >express some first so he would not drown in the first milk after the let >down. >Upstate NY Mom >I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep >up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we >are both stressed out at the feedings now. >Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula >before they were ready. >Email responses welcomed too >Cheryl >ICQ # 28718466
Response:
Even before I became pregnant, before getting married even, I had my heart set on breastfeeding all of my children as long as possible. I knew the many benefits of breastmilk and didn’t want to deny my child anything. At first, everything went well. I breastfed Jessica within half an hour of delivery. I breastfed on demand during my 3 1/2 day hospital stay. After a few days after returning home, however, it became so painful when she fed that I would cry the entire time and I dreaded feeding time. I tried everything, creams, shields, had a La Leche person come help me out, different positions. The LLL lady finally told me that some babies just have an enormous sucking reflex and that was definitely my daughter. I was so bloody and raw it wasn’t even funny. It got to the point where I couldn’t keep a shirt on. I felt like a total failure in the mommy dept but I knew it couldn’t go on this way. One night, I had my mother fix a bottle of formula and feed Jessica her nighttime bottle while I took a very hot shower and just bawled my eyes out. What was wrong with me? I thought. I had seen and heard so many successful breastfeeding stories, why couldn’t I do it? Now, 7 months later, I know it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t Jessica’s fault, it was just one of those unfortunate things. I do intend to try breastfeeding with my next child and I’m praying it is successful this time. Hope this helps, Marie B., mommy to Jessica born 5-12-98 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep >up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we >are both stressed out at the feedings now. >Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula >before they were ready. >Email responses welcomed too >Cheryl >ICQ # 28718466
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Why do you need to switch to formula? Why can’t you breastfeed as much as possible & supplement with formula? The important thing is the baby get fed & that Mom enjoys her new baby. You could start the feeding on the breast & end with formula, or have one or two feedings a day with formula if you’re really stressed. If I were you, I’d contact a breastfeeding consultant or La Leche League (be aware that La Leche League will advise strongly against formula) for help. However, you should realize that babies go through growth spurts – as she gets bigger, she needs more milk. To produce more milk, she has to nurse more frequently. The more frequently she nurses, the more she is building up your milk supply. So, there is a reason why she is nursing more. If, however, it’s really exhausting you, you might want to consider a little formula just to give yourself some relief. GOOD LUCK
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You could be dehydrated. Are you drinking a full glass of water or juice or milk before you nurse her? Fill up the glass again and take the drink with you when you sit or lie down to nurse her. Drink another full glass of liquid after you are through. Think pleasant thoughts and take good care of the breasts. Remind yourself you are doing EXACTLY what you should be doing. You will make more milk and then breast feeding will be a breeze. It is so easy once your breasts adjust. Give it more time. Consult with a lactation expert for some more tips. Skip the beer and wine advise you might get from friends. It makes the baby spit up and a couple of studies I found on the ‘net (cited in another thread) show the alcohol is delivered to the baby. Slight, but significant, impairment of motor function was noted in 12 mo. old babies whose moms consumed one or more alcoholic drinks a day. I found it took my body about 3 months to catch up with or adjust to my first baby’s needs. It was so hard to keep going when he was gaining almost a pound a week on breast milk alone. I too thought about switching to formula. But, I swear to you, I remember when I was switched to formula as a baby. I hated it, nasty, bitter stuff. My second baby grew at a slower rate and had too much milk. I had to express some first so he would not drown in the first milk after the let down. Upstate NY Mom – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I am the mother of a 7 week old girl. Since about week 3, I can’t keep >up with her feeding demands. Breast feeding IS important to me, but we >are both stressed out at the feedings now. >Could use some stories from other mothers who had to switch to formula >before they were ready. >Email responses welcomed too >Cheryl >ICQ # 28718466
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I didn’t see the original post, so I don’t know how old the baby is, but nursing every 2 hours for the first 8 weeks or so is completely normal. For some babies, that continues even longer. Spitting up after every meal could be because of too much milk, but could also be just because of a weak stomach valve. My first son did this until he was 11 months old. It was unpleasant (for me) but not a problem. : > Can anybody tell me if these 2 hour interval feedings are normal? I : > suspect that she is having too much because she vomits a lot of milk : > after every feed but I don’t to refuse her. : > : > : > I am also nursing her everytime she wants to go to sleep, this is : > usually once in the morning, once in the afternoon and before bedtime : > she just wouldn’t sleep without a full stomach. Since I am going to : > start a part time job in a month’s time and I intend to continue : > breastfeeding her until she weans herself, now I am worried that : > sleeping could be a problem without me when I work. : > : > Any advice will be appreciated. : > Thanks, : > Lai : > —
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Lai, Have you talked to your baby’s Dr. about this? I may be wrong, but there is a possibility that your baby has something called Gastroesophageal Reflux (my 4 month old has it). Sometimes babies confuse pain with hunger. In GER, the baby experiences "heartburn", which makes her very uncomfortable after a feeding. She will also tend to spit up frequently. The baby will often also act as if she is extremely hungry, then nurse for a little while and pull away from the breast crying when the tummy is really full and the reflux is at its worst! This is not a serious problem, though! The baby usually improves when she begins to sit up, and the reflux is usually gone by the time the baby walks! Treatment involves positioning on the tummy with the head slightly elevated (I know this is contrary to the "back to sleep" information related to SIDS, but kids with GER are an exception). Some doctors also recommend thickening feedings with rice cereal, but considering that you are nursing and considering the age of your baby, your Dr. might just suggest rice cereal before nursings by spoon. There are also medications available for treatment! Again, this may not be what is going on with your daughter, but you 4, I can tell you it DOES get easier!! -Beth
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First of all, well done at relactating and at continuing to breastfeed. Good news – this won’t continue indefinitely. Some babies like to nurse – and nursing is about more than nutrition, it is also about comfort and security and love. (Not that bottle fed babies don’t get all these things, but it doesn’t come from the bottle) All the nursing mums I know feel that this is an important part of nursing, and that it is fine to give baby the breast for these reasons as well as for food. There are scientific reasons for why breastfed babies feed more often than bottlefed babies – to do with the amount of milk at each feeding and the speed with which breast milk is digested. But they do eventually start to slacken off and since your little one is starting to sleep through the night, I guess this will happen fairly soon. My daughter Tilly, now 9mo, was feeding pretty much every two hours until she was eight months old, but has voluntarily cut that back quite dramatically just recently. I am very relieved, as I will be going back to work in a few weeks. She also nurses to sleep – something I am happy to continue for now. She will go to sleep in the pram, so my childminder will be able to get her to sleep when I’m at work. Anyway, the point is that lots of breastfed babies nurse as much as this at this age. You may want to check out misc.kids.breastfeeding – I find it a very supportive newsgroup, full of people with wise advice and bags of experience of breastfeeding. Anna
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writes: >I am also nursing her everytime she wants to go to sleep, this is usually >once in the morning, once in the afternoon and before bedtime she just >wouldn’t sleep without a full stomach. Since I am going to start a part time >job in a month’s time and I intend to continue
breastfeeding her until she >weans herself, now I am worried that
sleeping could be a problem without me >when I work.
Yes, it could be a problem. Or your daughter could just have that pattern with you and not with her caregiver or your husband. Try leaving her at home with dad or grandparents, if you can, for a few hours and see how she does. She may need a pacifier or a "lovey" or she may be just fine. FWIW, I nursed my oldest two after I went back to work. They would take a bottle from any adult but me and they had no problem falling asleep without nursing as long as I wasn’t around. I also expressed milk and left it with the caregiver. When I got home, my babies always wanted to nurse, even if they had just eaten. That time became our special time to snuggle and reconnect. (Having dinner simmering in a crock pot or in the oven on a timer really helped relieve a lot of stress, too!) Good luck, Denise "If you don’t believe in dragons,/It is curiously true/ "That the dragons you disparage/Choose to not believe in you."–Jack Prelutsky
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We have a daughter who is 5 1/2 months old, I breastfed her for 6 weeks and switched to formula because she cried and screamed frantically after every feedings, I was worried I didn’t have enough milk, was so stressful and gave up. Then when she was 10 weeks old, this time determined to succeed I did relactation and I am proud to say that I continued to breastfeed her up till now. The reason I failed was because she wanted to be at my breast all the time not because of hunger and I was too silly not to know, at six weeks old, I would nurse her for more than an hour and she would still cry and scream after 30 minutes or so. Now she is 51/2 months, I am still feeding her at 2 hour intervals except during the night, she is begining to sleep through the night now. Can anybody tell me if these 2 hour interval feedings are normal? I suspect that she is having too much because she vomits a lot of milk after every feed but I don’t to refuse her. I started solid food 2 weeks ago but she still cries for my breast after finishing it. I am also nursing her everytime she wants to go to sleep, this is usually once in the morning, once in the afternoon and before bedtime she just wouldn’t sleep without a full stomach. Since I am going to start a part time job in a month’s time and I intend to continue breastfeeding her until she weans herself, now I am worried that sleeping could be a problem without me when I work. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks, Lai
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Lai, It sounds like your baby is seeking the comfort that she gets from breast feeding, as well as the food. This may be why she is over eating. I had a similar problem with my son. He nursed constantly and over ate and threw up. I was told to always offer the breast on demand so that the milk supply is equal to the baby’s appetite. (Supply and demand.) I now beleive that when my son was born I offered him the breast whenever he was upset, rather than finding other ways to comfort him. The breast always made him happy, so why bother with any thing else? – It is very hard to know how much milk your baby is getting, so one always wonders if the baby could be hungry. If you could see that your baby had just consumed 6 or 7 oz you would say, "well that baby can’t possibly be hungry!" But you can’t tell, so you offer the breast. – I continued this way until my son was on a bottle (9 months). With my newest baby, now four months, I made sure that I offered her other comforts, right from the beginning. She only nurses 5 times a day, despite the fact she sleeps with me. Perhaps, it is not too late to try and find alternate comforts for your baby. When you know your child can’t possibly be hungry, yet she is fussy, walk with her, rock her, put her in a swing for a while, if she is really upset try a soothing bath or massage. Of course, you know that if you offer the breast, she will stop crying. It will be hard on you. But, if you have to go back to work, you may not have any choice but to change your system a bit. I am not one to advocate leaving your baby to cry. That is not what I am saying. I am saying do everything for your child except offer the breast, at times when you know she CANNOT be hungry. Of course, always monitoring how many wet and dirty diapers she makes. By no means, am I saying you should deprive your child of food. (I just wanted to clarify things). Good Luck, Kim – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Can anybody tell me if these 2 hour interval feedings are normal? I > suspect that she is having too much because she vomits a lot of milk > after every feed but I don’t to refuse her. > I am also nursing her everytime she wants to go to sleep, this is > usually once in the morning, once in the afternoon and before bedtime > she just wouldn’t sleep without a full stomach. Since I am going to > start a part time job in a month’s time and I intend to continue > breastfeeding her until she weans herself, now I am worried that > sleeping could be a problem without me when I work. > Any advice will be appreciated. > Thanks, > Lai
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> The reason I failed was because she wanted to be at my breast all the > time not because of hunger
I nursed my daughter until she was six months old. She too wanted to be at my breast ALL THE TIME. My nipples became raw and very sore, but she was comforted by the sucking. I bought her a soother, we nursed exclusively, my nipples healed and we were all happy. You could nurse her before bed time, and try a soother during the day at nap time to see if she’ll go to sleep while she is still getting the comforting from the soother instead of your breast. Just a suggestion. — Best wishes, Lynn. "The reason our eyes are on the front of our heads is so that we can see where we’re going and not be bothered by what’s past." Sally Huss
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It is strange that society has become so prudish about breastfeeding and the family bed. I’ve come up with a great response to family (but mostly strangers on the street) trying to give me advice. I say "My baby is only 6 weeks old and already she has learned to mind her own damn business" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Can anyone help me? My mother is very much against breastfeeding. I > breastfed my second daughter for 18 months, but I lived out in California > much of the time (my family lives in New York). But to this day she still > makes nasty comments about breastfeeding, especially an 18-month old. Now I > have a 7-week old I am breastfeeding, and my mother is still making comments > about it, and she won’t let me nurse in public when I am with her; I have to > find a discreet place away from my mom. She complains that I should not > feed the baby as much as I do, and that my boyfriend and I should not hold > her as often as we do. She also has a problem with the fact that the baby > sleeps with one or both of us, whether we are on the couch or up in bed. I > can’t be rude to her, I was raised to always treat people older than you > with respect, but she is driving me crazy, and I have simply started to not > talk about the baby at all. > Any suggestions would be appreciated. > Lynn
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*lol* Norma, Dont take it so hard. *Some* of us live extreme bohemian lifestyles and believe in things like extended breastfeeding, family beds, home-schooling, and gentle discipline. *Sigh* What’s a mother to do? Debbie C Mom to a herd – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Sorry to be so judgemental. We have raised our children in a family bed >from day 1. None has ever cried herself/himself to sleep. Silly me, >thinking this a sad way to fall asleep… >Norma >:She said her daughter was crying ON and OFF for 45 minutes – not >constently! >:I think that is pretty good going – some nights it took us an hour of >:disturbed crying before they would eventually go to sleep – it pulls at >your >:heart strings but they are going to sleep off their own steam and >eventually >:the crying time disappears! (mine dont even cry now going to bed) >:Susan >:p.s. what works for you might not work for others (I could no longer rock >:my babies to sleep – four hours of this every night with two babies does >not >:work!) >: >:>:I am now training my 15 >:>:month old daughter to sleep in her own crib now. You know what? After >:>about >:>:45 minutes of crying off and on she will go to sleep and sleep all night >:>:long! >:> >:> >:>You are _proud_ of this? >:> >:> >:>Norma >:> >:> >: >:
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Oooh, shame on you!!! You should never provide comfort to such an old child!! Tsk, tsk!
-no-archive: yes : :Egads! I was still rocking the two of mine in kindergarten and occasionally :later on. : : : : :
:> :>>Sorry to be so judgemental. We have raised our children in a family bed :>>from day 1. None has ever cried herself/himself to sleep. Silly me, :>>thinking this a sad way to fall asleep… :> :>But there are times where crying to sleep is the only way to get them to :fall :>asleep on their own. I rocked my son to sleep most of the time until he :was a :>year old. My daughter will fall asleep on her own. She rarely cries but :my :>son has cried to sleep. Length of time varied depending on how far apart :his :>cries were, whether he was over tired, etc. :> :>My SIL rocked her daughter to sleep for over 3 years. It took it’s toll on :>her. She would complain about it but would never let her just cry a little :>bit. :> :>I’m not saying "don’t rock", but a 2 or 3 year old shouldn’t need it like :an :>infant does. :> :> :> :>Kendra :>*Proud to be Outlandish!* :>http://www.geocities.com/heartland/lane/6516 :> : :
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:I am now training my 15 :month old daughter to sleep in her own crib now. You know what? After about :45 minutes of crying off and on she will go to sleep and sleep all night :long! You are _proud_ of this? Norma
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She said her daughter was crying ON and OFF for 45 minutes – not constently! I think that is pretty good going – some nights it took us an hour of disturbed crying before they would eventually go to sleep – it pulls at your heart strings but they are going to sleep off their own steam and eventually the crying time disappears! (mine dont even cry now going to bed) Susan p.s. what works for you might not work for others (I could no longer rock my babies to sleep – four hours of this every night with two babies does not work!) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >:I am now training my 15 >:month old daughter to sleep in her own crib now. You know what? After >about >:45 minutes of crying off and on she will go to sleep and sleep all night >:long! >You are _proud_ of this? >Norma
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Sorry to be so judgemental. We have raised our children in a family bed from day 1. None has ever cried herself/himself to sleep. Silly me, thinking this a sad way to fall asleep… Norma
:She said her daughter was crying ON and OFF for 45 minutes – not constently! :I think that is pretty good going – some nights it took us an hour of :disturbed crying before they would eventually go to sleep – it pulls at your :heart strings but they are going to sleep off their own steam and eventually :the crying time disappears! (mine dont even cry now going to bed) :Susan :p.s. what works for you might not work for others (I could no longer rock :my babies to sleep – four hours of this every night with two babies does not :work!) :
:>:I am now training my 15 :>:month old daughter to sleep in her own crib now. You know what? After :>about :>:45 minutes of crying off and on she will go to sleep and sleep all night :>:long! :> :> :>You are _proud_ of this? :> :> :>Norma :> :> : :
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>Sorry to be so judgemental. We have raised our children in a family bed >from day 1. None has ever cried herself/himself to sleep. Silly me, >thinking this a sad way to fall asleep…
But there are times where crying to sleep is the only way to get them to fall asleep on their own. I rocked my son to sleep most of the time until he was a year old. My daughter will fall asleep on her own. She rarely cries but my son has cried to sleep. Length of time varied depending on how far apart his cries were, whether he was over tired, etc. My SIL rocked her daughter to sleep for over 3 years. It took it’s toll on her. She would complain about it but would never let her just cry a little bit. I’m not saying "don’t rock", but a 2 or 3 year old shouldn’t need it like an infant does. Kendra *Proud to be Outlandish!* http://www.geocities.com/heartland/lane/6516
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I would like to thank all of the people who wrote back with such good advice regarding my mother’s aversion to my breastfeeding. I have decided to be more assertive with her and consider my daughter’s needs first. Thanks again.
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Can anyone help me? My mother is very much against breastfeeding. I >breastfed my second daughter for 18 months, but I lived out in California >much of the time (my family lives in New York). But to this day she still >makes nasty comments about breastfeeding, especially an 18-month old. Now I >have a 7-week old I am breastfeeding, and my mother is still making comments >about it, and she won’t let me nurse in public when I am with her; I have to >find a discreet place away from my mom. She complains that I should not >feed the baby as much as I do, and that my boyfriend and I should not hold >her as often as we do. She also has a problem with the fact that the baby >sleeps with one or both of us, whether we are on the couch or up in bed. I >can’t be rude to her, I was raised to always treat people older than you >with respect, but she is driving me crazy, and I have simply started to not >talk about the baby at all. >Any suggestions would be appreciated. >Lynn >Hi Lynn,
I hope this will help. My mother was completely against breastfeeding. In fact, I didn’t tell her I was going to nurse until I gave birth. I left my husband tell her that way I wouldn’t see her disapproving facial expressions. When I would visit her she would have me leave the room to nurse my baby and she also had nasty remarks about it. She would embarras me around other people, saying," she’s 9 months old now, she’s big enough stop nursing her, she doesn’t need you anymore." How hurtful. However, I have come to realize that showing your breast in private or public wasn’t heard of back then. I believe for some women it was embarrasing. I think it is great that you sleep with your baby. You will see how close the two of you will be. I am now training my 15 month old daughter to sleep in her own crib now. You know what? After about 45 minutes of crying off and on she will go to sleep and sleep all night long! I wouldn’t worry to much about mom. Let her know how different things are these days and if it really bothers you, sit down and talk to her. Good Luck!! Shannon
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>My sister (4 1/2) was watching me nurse my daughter once. She said >"watch doin" and I said that I was feeding Victoria, this was followed >by the inevitable "How?" I don’t remember how I worded it but I said >that I was giving her milk from my breast. All she said was "Cool." >with a shrug and she sauntered off. Didn’t bother her in the slightest.
Kenny called them the baby’s "food". Kendra *Proud to be Outlandish!* http://www.geocities.com/heartland/lane/6516
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Hi Lynn, I had the exact same problem with my mother! Luckily I live on the west coast of Canada and she’s still in Ireland! She and my father came for my son’s Christening when he was 3 months old and I had no end of comments/advise from her. (I’d never tell her that I breast fed him until he was 19 months old! I’m pregnant again and intend to do the same with this one if possible.) Another favourite of my mother’s is that crying is good for the lungs and that babies should be exposed to the sun for several hours per day!! I had to explain the sun one very quickly; I was born in January in Ireland 34 yrs ago. My son was 3 months old in the middle of the summer in 30C+ weather!! She didn’t comment again on the sun thing. As for the bf and crying, I just didn’t discuss it with her. It is my decision and times have changed. (She also thinks babies should be fed solids from day 1!!!!) Anyway, I’d advse you to have a chat with your mother and tell her that medical research has shown the benefits of breast feeding and that the World Heath Organisation recommends it up until the child is 2 yrs old. Things have changed since you and I were children. If that doesn’t put an end to it, then get her some books to read on the subject or some info. from your local heath unit or doctor. If all else fails, just try to ignore it. I know it’s hard. I find it very hurtful having to put up with the comments about my parenting choices I get from my mother. It’s as if she doesn’t see me competent enough to have a child. Good luck!! Deirdre – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Can anyone help me? My mother is very much against breastfeeding. I > breastfed my second daughter for 18 months, but I lived out in California > much of the time (my family lives in New York). But to this day she still > makes nasty comments about breastfeeding, especially an 18-month old. Now I > have a 7-week old I am breastfeeding, and my mother is still making comments > about it, and she won’t let me nurse in public when I am with her; I have to > find a discreet place away from my mom. She complains that I should not > feed the baby as much as I do, and that my boyfriend and I should not hold > her as often as we do. She also has a problem with the fact that the baby > sleeps with one or both of us, whether we are on the couch or up in bed. I > can’t be rude to her, I was raised to always treat people older than you > with respect, but she is driving me crazy, and I have simply started to not > talk about the baby at all. > Any suggestions would be appreciated. > Lynn
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My 4 y/o nephew asked me once why I fed my son with a bottle AND my breast. I explained to him that the bottle was like getting a hamburger, while the breast was like getting a steak. He thought that was cool. Later, he told his father that he couldn’t go into the living room because I was feeding John-Baron his ’steak’. Amanda
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->My sister (4 1/2) was watching me nurse my daughter once. She said >"watch doin" and I said that I was feeding Victoria, this was followed >by the inevitable "How?" I don’t remember how I worded it but I said >that I was giving her milk from my breast. All she said was "Cool." >with a shrug and she sauntered off. Didn’t bother her in the slightest. > Kenny called them the baby’s "food". > Kendra > *Proud to be Outlandish!* > http://www.geocities.com/heartland/lane/6516
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Sounds like shes a bit too overprotective! My mother was like this in some areas (she wanted me to breastfeed though) I think what you have to do is say – times are changing you do this the way you want to do! These are your kids not hers! Breastfeeding is the natural way and why should anyone be ashamed of feeding in public – if someone doesnt like it they can look away! You think its the best for your child and that you are loving her the best way you know how! you need not even raise your voice just explain that this is the way you do it – your the mother here – she had her turn! Whenever I speak to my mother on the phone I can hear the tone of her voice which means well you should do it like this or you should have expected that – sometimes almost a "I told you so" lol Ask her if she thinks the baby looks healthy and happy? if she says yes – than say - well we must be doing everything ok then! Susan http://twins.cjb.net – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Can anyone help me? My mother is very much against breastfeeding. I >breastfed my second daughter for 18 months, but I lived out in California >much of the time (my family lives in New York). But to this day she still >makes nasty comments about breastfeeding, especially an 18-month old. Now I >have a 7-week old I am breastfeeding, and my mother is still making comments >about it, and she won’t let me nurse in public when I am with her; I have to >find a discreet place away from my mom. She complains that I should not >feed the baby as much as I do, and that my boyfriend and I should not hold >her as often as we do. She also has a problem with the fact that the baby >sleeps with one or both of us, whether we are on the couch or up in bed. I >can’t be rude to her, I was raised to always treat people older than you >with respect, but she is driving me crazy, and I have simply started to not >talk about the baby at all. >Any suggestions would be appreciated. >Lynn
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> >When I first started nursing I used to "practice" going out. Even >though I was the only one at home, I would act like I was on centre >stage, covering up, trying to unhook my bra with one hand, and so on. >It worked great, so I was able to nurse outside with confidence. > So did I. I would also ask my husbands opinion (could he see anything etc). I > would also sit on the bed in front of the mirrored closet doors and practice. > Adults around never bothered me. What I always worried about was kids around. > You never know when another parent might have a tissy about breastfeeding in > their childs presence.
That’s funny, esp. since it’s usually the parent that it (the sight of a <gasp> breast) bothers more than the child 
My sister (4 1/2) was watching me nurse my daughter once. She said "watch doin" and I said that I was feeding Victoria, this was followed by the inevitable "How?" I don’t remember how I worded it but I said that I was giving her milk from my breast. All she said was "Cool." with a shrug and she sauntered off. Didn’t bother her in the slightest. > I once ducked into a dressing room, while shopping, to nurse. I didn’t lock > the door because it was no big deal to me, just a more comfortable place to > sit. A guy walked in (it was a stall right in between the mens and womens > dressing rooms) and was so embarassed. I felt sorry for him.
Oh, poor guy. > I do wish people would get over their stigma of breastfeeding. The visual > aspect I mean, not the breast vs bottle thing.
The only problem I’ve ever heard about first-hand was a friend who didn’t know where to look when his sister was nursing. Aperently she didn’t feel the need to be very discreet in front of family — Paige GO LEAFS!!! proud to be Outlandish "when the guy who invented the drawing board got it wrong, what did he go back to?"
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Breastfeeding is Best Feeding and if your mother cannot manage to overcome her problem with it (notice I said "her problem" ) then she has one option and that is to keep her mouth shut. Is she against breastfeeding altogether or just nursing "toddlers"? My mother in law was sort of the same way..not really nasty about it but just making little comments here and there.. And as for the treat older people with respect..I’d show her the same respect she’s showing you. You sound like you’re a caring and wonderful mother and I wouldn’t change what you’re doing just to make someone else happy. good luck and congratulations on your healthy breastfed kids. Stephanie
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>When I first started nursing I used to "practice" going out. Even >though I was the only one at home, I would act like I was on centre >stage, covering up, trying to unhook my bra with one hand, and so on. >It worked great, so I was able to nurse outside with confidence.
So did I. I would also ask my husbands opinion (could he see anything etc). I would also sit on the bed in front of the mirrored closet doors and practice. Adults around never bothered me. What I always worried about was kids around. You never know when another parent might have a tissy about breastfeeding in their childs presence. I once ducked into a dressing room, while shopping, to nurse. I didn’t lock the door because it was no big deal to me, just a more comfortable place to sit. A guy walked in (it was a stall right in between the mens and womens dressing rooms) and was so embarassed. I felt sorry for him. I do wish people would get over their stigma of breastfeeding. The visual aspect I mean, not the breast vs bottle thing. Kendra *Proud to be Outlandish!* http://www.geocities.com/heartland/lane/6516
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > BTW, about nursing in public. I did it all the time. I did have > nursing tops that have the concealed slits to make it easier. With a > little practice, you can get just as good at hooking and unhooking the > bra as a magician. And a baby blanket keeps your modesty in check. > There were two times in which I was nursing my babies that other people > obviously had no clue what I was doing. <snip> > You can nurse in public without it being obvious. The baby’s head hides > the small amount of skin that is exposed. Blankets hide you when you’re > flipping the boobs in and out of your bra and clothing. And as far as I > was concerned, anyone who really wanted a sneak-peek at them could look > all they wanted. Heck, they were my baby’s bottles, not some sex > object. I really didn’t care (but was careful to not offend anyone > else).
When I first started nursing I used to "practice" going out. Even though I was the only one at home, I would act like I was on centre stage, covering up, trying to unhook my bra with one hand, and so on. It worked great, so I was able to nurse outside with confidence. — Paige GO LEAFS!!! proud to be Outlandish "when the guy who invented the drawing board got it wrong, what did he go back to?"
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Very well put! I agree. One of the hardest things we will all have to do as mothers is to let our own children make their own decisions when they are grown. Even when those decisions aren’t what we’d like for them to choose. Lynn, do you know why your mother is against nursing? Does she think it’s harmful to your baby or you? Or does it have to do with personal modesty? My own mother was skeptical about nursing. She told me (in a very nice way, not pushy at all) that she thought it would increase my chances of breast cancer. This has always been a concern of hers since I had a huge breast tumor removed at 14 years old. I told her that breastfeeding would actually reduce my chances. Then she told me about someone she knew who tried to breastfeed and didn’t have enough milk. I told her I would try, if it didn’t work, I could always switch to formula later. Months after Jenny was born and was growing wonderfully with just breastmilk, my mother agreed I was right. Of course, the difference between our mothers is that mine understood that I was a grown woman, even though her child, and deserved to be respected for my decisions. Could you gently talk with your mother about her concerns? Maybe there is a chance that you can help her to understand. If not, then ask her to please respect you as an adult. Remind her that she raised you to look at all the information available and to make good decisions. You would like her to respect your decisions even though she may not agree with them. BTW, about nursing in public. I did it all the time. I did have nursing tops that have the concealed slits to make it easier. With a little practice, you can get just as good at hooking and unhooking the bra as a magician. And a baby blanket keeps your modesty in check. There were two times in which I was nursing my babies that other people obviously had no clue what I was doing. Once was a older woman in a restaurant. She was smiling at me and started talking. Then she asked if she could see my baby’s face. What a shock she got when I told her I would love to as soon as she stopped nursing! The woman was standing directly in front of me and had no idea. The same thing happened with my own Dad. Jenny was still very young when my Dad stopped by for a visit. We were walking around and talking when he asked me when would I finally let him hold Jenny. I told him he could when she finished nursing. Oh, was he embarrassed!! His face got all red and he smiled saying he had no idea. I told him that was what I wanted. I didn’t want it to be obvious. When I finished nursing her, he got to hold her. I got a big laugh out of that one! You can nurse in public without it being obvious. The baby’s head hides the small amount of skin that is exposed. Blankets hide you when you’re flipping the boobs in and out of your bra and clothing. And as far as I was concerned, anyone who really wanted a sneak-peek at them could look all they wanted. Heck, they were my baby’s bottles, not some sex object. I really didn’t care (but was careful to not offend anyone else). Lynn, do what you know is right. Actually, chances are your mother didn’t agree with her mother either. You may not agree when your kids have kids. Hopefully, you’ll be a bit more understanding, but it is hard when you really think the mother isn’t doing something right. See if talking with your mom can help bring her around. But if it doesn’t, then she can go hide in the stinky woman’s restroom while you’re nursing in public if she doesn’t like it. You are the mother. PS… It just dawned on me. One good way to start talking with her is to ask her if her mother agreed with everything she did while raising you. If not, how did she deal with it? It might give you a way of bringing her to understand that you love her and would like to find some way of working things out with her. After all, she was once a young mother with a mom of her own! Take Care! Vicki Surratt Proud Mom of Kathy (6) and Jenny (9)! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I so agree with you Debbie! You probably won’t change her mind, Lynn. But > if you stand up to her, she might back off on the comments she chooses to > make. You are doing the best that you can do for your baby. There is > nothing wrong with nursing. It is the best thing you can do, if you are > able to do it. > As far as nursing in public….I think the most public place I ever nursed > was the middle of the zoo! It’s not like you are doing a striptease for all > and sundry. You are just feeding your baby. I know I was always very > discreet about it. Not for anyone else’s benefit but because it was easier > for the baby if I found a quiet spot or covered him up with a blankie. He > wasn’t distracted that way. (I tried to nurse with my daughter and she just > didn’t want anything to do with it. But I nursed my son till he got > teeth—I am not a brave woman. lol) > I think you need to tell her that you appreciate her being a part of your > children’s lives. That you are so happy that she loves you and your > children. BUT, they are *your* children. Tell her too that if she is not > comfortable with you nursing in public, she can just skip public outings > with you and the kids till you wean the baby in a year or so. Tell her too > that the comments hurt your feelings and that you don’t want your > relationship with her tainted by animosity between the two of you. > As for the sleeping arrangements, if it works for you and your boyfriend and > the baby, then why should it bother her? It’s not like you are asking her > to sleep with the baby. And I don’t know any Grammas who wouldn’t be happy > to hold the baby while he took a nap, anywho. > I know you don’t want to hurt her feelings the way she has done yours. I > know you don’t want to disrespect her. I understand all of that. But if > you just let her keep on harping on you, that is going to damage the > relationship you have with her. And if you don’t tell her gently to butt > out, she is going to continue trying to run your life. > Keep your chin up. And stand your ground. > Sharon
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This is my advice/opinion: First of all, it is Your baby. I feel as if I could almost say "she just has the baby’s best interest in mind"….but I’m sorry to say, she doesn’t. It sounds to me like ignorance is the problem. Breastfeeding is the *best* you can give your child…cuddling and holding your baby will *never* hurt them, breast feeding a baby in public is a completely natural thing to do (I did it and was completely covered by a blanket so I "couldn’t" have offended anyone…esspecially my brothers who never minded that their own sister (eeww sisters) nursed in front of them…they never saw a thing!)…also, the "Family bed" is very common (we didn’t do it, but I know plenty of people who do), and it is all up to you. I’m really not sure why your mother would have so many issues over how you raise your baby. I mean no offense, but she is very un-informed! Try to educate her, and if that doesn’t work, you will need to politely tell her to"back off" and stand your ground. What is more important to you…..A happy, *healthy*, loved baby…..or a happy mother who has won in her "game" to control you? You sound like a good mother and smart person….don’t back down on what you think is best. Sometimes I have to tell my mom when I do things differently than how she did it. That’s part of being a mother. Oh…and I agree with the person who stated "you should give respect, to get respect", I believe this as well. I am a polite person, but when someone cannot respect me, I may not be "rude", but they will get no respect from me back. Good Luck. Melissa–mommy to Caitlyn http://pages.ivillage.com/pp/redpebb/
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I would simply say to her: that you know, that she did the best to raise you with the information that they had back then. Now research has proven that the best thing for all babies is breastmilk. Be honest with her and tell her that you and your boyfriend have decided that you want to do the best for your baby. Tell her that when she makes nasty comments it hurts you. She has to realize that you are a mother now, trying to do the best thing for your children. Just as she did way back when!!! Hope this helps. Denise – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Can anyone help me? My mother is very much against breastfeeding. I >breastfed my second daughter for 18 months, but I lived out in California >much of the time (my family lives in New York). But to this day she still >makes nasty comments about breastfeeding, especially an 18-month old. Now I >have a 7-week old I am breastfeeding, and my mother is still making comments >about it, and she won’t let me nurse in public when I am with her; I have to >find a discreet place away from my mom. She complains that I should not >feed the baby as much as I do, and that my boyfriend and I should not hold >her as often as we do. She also has a problem with the fact that the baby >sleeps with one or both of us, whether we are on the couch or up in bed. I >can’t be rude to her, I was raised to always treat people older than you >with respect, but she is driving me crazy, and I have simply started to not >talk about the baby at all. >Any suggestions would be appreciated. >Lynn
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Hi Lynn, Sounds like you have a real problem on your hands. My mom was like that to a degree, until I gave her a lot of information to mull over. LLL prints a handout regarding nursing in public, and grandparents and nursing, (if they are in print still). These are a good start. Not to be rude, but..it IS your body, and YOUR baby. It sounds very much like a control issue as well. You really need to confront your mother and inform her of those facts and give her a choice, remember the old saying "if you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all"?. It certainly applies. I apologize if this seems extreme, I feel confrontation …especially on these issues, is very important. Good luck, you may not be able to change her mind, but you can definately stand your ground. Debbie C Mom to a herd – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Can anyone help me? My mother is very much against breastfeeding. I >breastfed my second daughter for 18 months, but I lived out in California >much of the time (my family lives in New York). But to this day she still >makes nasty comments about breastfeeding, especially an 18-month old. Now I >have a 7-week old I am breastfeeding, and my mother is still making comments >about it, and she won’t let me nurse in public when I am with her; I have to >find a discreet place away from my mom. She complains that I should not >feed the baby as much as I do, and that my boyfriend and I should not hold >her as often as we do. She also has a problem with the fact that the baby >sleeps with one or both of us, whether we are on the couch or up in bed. I >can’t be rude to her, I was raised to always treat people older than you >with respect, but she is driving me crazy, and I have simply started to not >talk about the baby at all. >Any suggestions would be appreciated. >Lynn
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Hi Lynn, >Sounds like you have a real problem on your hands. My mom was like that to >a degree, until I gave her a lot of information to mull over. LLL prints a >handout regarding nursing in public, and grandparents and nursing, (if they >are in print still). These are a good start. Not to be rude, but..it IS >your body, and YOUR baby. It sounds very much like a control issue as well. >You really need to confront your mother and inform her of those facts and >give her a choice, remember the old saying "if you cant say something nice, >dont say anything at all"?. It certainly applies. I apologize if this >seems extreme, I feel confrontation …especially on these issues, is very >important. Good luck, you may not be able to change her mind, but you can >definately stand your ground. >Debbie C >Mom to a herd
I so agree with you Debbie! You probably won’t change her mind, Lynn. But if you stand up to her, she might back off on the comments she chooses to make. You are doing the best that you can do for your baby. There is nothing wrong with nursing. It is the best thing you can do, if you are able to do it. As far as nursing in public….I think the most public place I ever nursed was the middle of the zoo! It’s not like you are doing a striptease for all and sundry. You are just feeding your baby. I know I was always very discreet about it. Not for anyone else’s benefit but because it was easier for the baby if I found a quiet spot or covered him up with a blankie. He wasn’t distracted that way. (I tried to nurse with my daughter and she just didn’t want anything to do with it. But I nursed my son till he got teeth—I am not a brave woman. lol) I think you need to tell her that you appreciate her being a part of your children’s lives. That you are so happy that she loves you and your children. BUT, they are *your* children. Tell her too that if she is not comfortable with you nursing in public, she can just skip public outings with you and the kids till you wean the baby in a year or so. Tell her too that the comments hurt your feelings and that you don’t want your relationship with her tainted by animosity between the two of you. As for the sleeping arrangements, if it works for you and your boyfriend and the baby, then why should it bother her? It’s not like you are asking her to sleep with the baby. And I don’t know any Grammas who wouldn’t be happy to hold the baby while he took a nap, anywho. I know you don’t want to hurt her feelings the way she has done yours. I know you don’t want to disrespect her. I understand all of that. But if you just let her keep on harping on you, that is going to damage the relationship you have with her. And if you don’t tell her gently to butt out, she is going to continue trying to run your life. Keep your chin up. And stand your ground. Sharon
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In my opinion, that rule of treating older people with respect only holds when they treat you with respect. She is not treating you with respect, why should she get any? You need to tell her that this is your child & you want to raise her as you see fit. It’s great that your Mom is so caring about her grandchildren, but she needs to step back. There is no cure for this kind of behavior except for ignoring it or telling her to buzz off (politely, of course). Let her know that you appreciate her concern and input, but you are the Mommy, not her. Good Luck Heidi
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>Can anyone help me? My mother is very much against breastfeeding. I >breastfed my second daughter for 18 months, but I lived out in California >much of the time (my family lives in New York). But to this day she still >makes nasty comments about breastfeeding, especially an 18-month old. Now I >have a 7-week old I am breastfeeding, and my mother is still making comments >about it, and she won’t let me nurse in public when I am with her; I have to >find a discreet place away from my mom.
If you are a grown woman who choses to breastfeed her baby then you do not need mothers permision. What would she do if you began feeding your child in her presence? Make a public fuss and embarass you? Or just be disagreeable? If it’s the latter, do it anyway. If she makes a public spectacle, don’t go places with her. > She complains that I should not >feed the baby as much as I do, and that my boyfriend and I should not hold >her as often as we do. She also has a problem with the fact that the baby >sleeps with one or both of us, whether we are on the couch or up in bed. I >can’t be rude to her, I was raised to always treat people older than you >with respect, but she is driving me crazy, and I have simply started to not >talk about the baby at all. >Any suggestions would be appreciated.
You desperately need to distance yourself from this woman, mother or not. You should be enjoying this time with your baby, not living in fear of what "mom" will say or do. You can express your feelings and opinions without dissrespecting her. Breastfeeding your baby, holding your baby, sleeping with your baby, IN NO WAY dissrespects you mother simply because she disagrees with it. It doesn’t sound like she’s very informed in these areas. Why don’t you gather some information for her to read? Kendra
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Can anyone help me? My mother is very much against breastfeeding. I breastfed my second daughter for 18 months, but I lived out in California much of the time (my family lives in New York). But to this day she still makes nasty comments about breastfeeding, especially an 18-month old. Now I have a 7-week old I am breastfeeding, and my mother is still making comments about it, and she won’t let me nurse in public when I am with her; I have to find a discreet place away from my mom. She complains that I should not feed the baby as much as I do, and that my boyfriend and I should not hold her as often as we do. She also has a problem with the fact that the baby sleeps with one or both of us, whether we are on the couch or up in bed. I can’t be rude to her, I was raised to always treat people older than you with respect, but she is driving me crazy, and I have simply started to not talk about the baby at all. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Lynn
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>Many people believe in >child-led weaning–that is, allowing the child to wean at his/her own >pace, and in their own time. Many children, allowed to wean in this >fashion, choose to nurse well into the preschool years.
As a follow-up question… Are there children who need mom to decide when to wean? Not that there are too many 12 yos still nursing , but I imagine like anything else (bottles, pacifier use, etc.) there are a small percentage of children who will continue to desire to nurse as long as mom allows it. In that event, at what age is it no longer appropriate to nurse? If it is OK at 5, is it still OK at 6 or 7? What makes it fine at one (later) age and not another? I really am curious about this, for while I did nurse, both my children self-weaned well before this became an issue. Mary
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> I am not writing this to attack you. It’s more out of curiousity. Why are > you still breastfeeding your 2-3 year old child? Obviously, he eats plenty of > other food so his nutritional needs should be met. Therefore, I was wondering > what other reasons there would be to breastfeed an older child? > Please do not get defensive, I’m just curious. > Don’t worry I’m not going to get defensive.=) The responses you have
already gotten from some other people to this question have said exactly what I was going to say. it’s more of a comfort thing for him now. He still loves to cuddle and be held and rocked like he did when he was and infant and nursing for him just naturally goes along with it. He cuddles without nursing also but still enjoys the nursing part. I have friends that have preschoolers that are amazed when he crawls into my lap and snuggles as close as he can, stares at me, smiles and touches my cheek like he did when he was an infant. Preschooler are so active and this is the age when they start their independence and the really good snuggle times come farther apart because they are constantly on the move. Alot of children have their comfort things such as a blanket or a special animal etc. I just happen to be his. When ever he is hurt or sad or scared he will come to me for comfort and more often that not want to nurse. I know that Alot of people will think that this is hampering his efforts to deal with and work things out himself but from my observations I have found the opposite to be true. He is a very independent little boy, and deals with many things on his own and try to work through them,( as much as a small child can) He is also very sensitive. I baby sit and he is always the first one to want to help and comfort when someone gets hurt or is upset. I’ve taught him some breathing techniques when he is angry or upset. Nothing major just deep breathing, which really helps. I know that may sound strange but I’ve gone back to college for early childhood education and psychology and that was one of the things we learned in our child behavior class. It really works great and I catch him doing it on his own sometimes. Last week one of the children I was watching ,who is about to turn four, was having a bad day. He ended up having a rather loud fit and my son walked up to him put his arm around him looked him in the eyes and said’ It O.K. honey take some deep breaths with me." ROTFLOL Well once again this is getting lengthy so I’ll stop for now. Thanks again for all the Reponses I’ve gotten so far and thank you to all the people who have responded to me personally. I will be getting back to you soon. Hope to here from you soon. Ann
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I haven’t ,but a good friend of mine did until her daughter was 5 years old and the only reason she stopped(cold turkey I might add) was because she had another baby. I personally beleive that when a child can talk and ask for it their too old. My friends child refused to be potty trained until 51/2 , which I beleive is because the child is confused as to wether she is a baby or" big girl". I believe some people can go overboard and I have to wonder if there are not other reasons . This is just my opinion .
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>My daughter is 11 months and has shown no signs of giving it up. For a >number of reasons 1)want to get pregnant 2)want husband to put her to bed >3)goal was 1 year, I want to wean her starting in a few weeks (after we get >back from vacation) >Anyways, I am getting nervous about her reactions and how this will affect >her. What are some suggestions from those who have had to wean a twelve >month old who still likes to nurse? >Any help would be greatly appreciated. >Laura Zywicki
May I suggest, "The Nursing Mother’s Guide to Weaning" by Kathleen Huggins and Linda Ziedrich? It was well worth its $9.95 cover price. It begins with a very interesting chapter called, "The Western Way of Nursing and Weaning" and then breaks down the weaning discussions into four other chapters: "Weaning Before Four Months", "Weaning Your Four- to Twelve-Month-Old", "Weaning Your One- or Two-Year-Old", and "Weaning Your Child over Three". I have no plans to wean my daughter anytime soon, but bought the book because a friend said that it described a lot of the behaviors that her child (one month older than mine) was doing. This book helped reassure me that things about my nursing daughter, like night waking, frequency of nursing, etc., and in fact our entire nursing relationship, were perfectly natural. Tami, mom to a still nursing Amber (20.5 months)
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Hi, Ann, I didn’t nurse my children past 2 – weaned both boys at 12 months – but my sister did nurse her two girls till about 2 1/2. She encountered the same negative feelings from other people that you have, including from her husband. At one point my niece counted Mommy’s breasts as she nursed – ‘one, two’ – and my brother-in-law said, ’All right then, if she’s old enough to count them she doesn’t need them any more.’ The only possible negative thing might be that your son may have more trouble giving up nursing when you want to, because he has become used to such a pleasant thing. My sister’s girls were very hard to wean when she finally decided to, while both my boys gave it up with no trouble at all. Of course that could just be because of different personalities in our kids, may have had nothing to do with how long they nursed. At any rate, we do have to develop a thick skin sometimes to withstand others’ disapproval and stupid comments. You should nurse as long as you and your son are happy with it. I WOULD, however, seriously consider finding a new pediatrician if you haven’t already. It sounds like he has alot of rather old-fashioned theories on childraising. – Alison – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hello all, > I was wondering if anyone on the group breastfed their child past the age > of 2 or 3. …
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At the age of 1 year, I see no need to wean to a bottle – the baby will just have to wean from the bottle later on down the road. My daughters were weaned directly from the breast to a cup. I started the weaning process between 9 and 10 months, cutting out the least favorite feeding (the one the baby seemed most disinterested in) and offering the cup at that time. They had already been used to the cup. When I introduced solids at 6 months, I began getting them used to the cup as part of mealtime. Before they were able to hold one, I held it and let them drink out of it to get them used to it. I approached weaning gradually, cutting out one feeding every week. The whole weaning process took me about 6 or 7 weeks (not including getting them familiar with the cup and drinking practice from the cup before I started cutting out the feedings). Good luck! Margaret – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I would begin by expressing your milk into a bottle if you aren’t already > doing that. When hungry enough Junior will eat. You can always say "After the > bottle is done, mommy will let you nurse for a bit." Maybe put a few ounces in > the bottle and gradually increase the amount. Then after your child is used to > a bottle (if not already, for juice and stuff) Begin to add a bit of regular > milk. just a little at first, GRADUALLY adding more milk. My son actually > found he liked the bottle after a while, because it was quicker, with very > little work. I know there are bottles that are more like "mom" > you might start there. Bottom line is who can hold out longer, and it’s a hard > one, I know. Best of luck, Laura H.
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writes: >The last Emperor of China, Pu Yi, had a wetnurse until the age of nine. >It was not for any spiritual reason, but apparently for nutritional >purposes, as >the nurse’s diet was monitored closely. I don’t think that this was at >all a regular practice in China, but was only because he was the >emperor. I believe >palace officials sent the nurse away suddenly because they felt the >emperor >was growing too old to need her.
Actually I think I have the video somewhere so I should have checked first. Thanks for enlightening me though. Steve Williams http://members.aol.com/sjw1963
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>My daughter is 11 months and has shown no signs of giving it up. For a >number of reasons 1)want to get pregnant 2)want husband to put her to bed >3)goal was 1 year, I want to wean her starting in a few weeks (after we get >back from vacation) >Anyways, I am getting nervous about her reactions and how this will affect >her. What are some suggestions from those who have had to wean a twelve >month old who still likes to nurse? >Any help would be greatly appreciated. >Laura Zywicki
I would begin by expressing your milk into a bottle if you aren’t already doing that. When hungry enough Junior will eat. You can always say "After the bottle is done, mommy will let you nurse for a bit." Maybe put a few ounces in the bottle and gradually increase the amount. Then after your child is used to a bottle (if not already, for juice and stuff) Begin to add a bit of regular milk. just a little at first, GRADUALLY adding more milk. My son actually found he liked the bottle after a while, because it was quicker, with very little work. I know there are bottles that are more like "mom" you might start there. Bottom line is who can hold out longer, and it’s a hard one, I know. Best of luck, Laura H.
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Hello Ann again. I will have my son weaned before he goes to kindergarten for sure. If I didn’t I’d hate to think what he might want his first topic of show and tell to be! =) We are slowly working on the weaning process and talk about it often so he knows that soon he will be to old to "nubby" =) as he calls it. I know that it will be hard for both of us. He also knows that one day mommy will have another baby and that "they" will be the babys. We are going to try for another when he goes to kindergarten. He seems to understand. He has 4 babies in our family (cousins) and is excited about being a big brother someday. Hopefully he still will be when the time comes. Ann
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Many people believe in >child-led weaning–that is, allowing the child to wean at his/her own >pace, and in their own time. Many children, allowed to wean in this >fashion, choose to nurse well into the preschool years. > As a follow-up question… > Are there children who need mom to decide when to wean? Not that there are too > many 12 yos still nursing , but I imagine like anything else (bottles, > pacifier use, etc.) there are a small percentage of children who will continue > to desire to nurse as long as mom allows it. In that event, at what age is it > no longer appropriate to nurse? If it is OK at 5, is it still OK at 6 or 7? > What makes it fine at one (later) age and not another? I really am curious > about this, for while I did nurse, both my children self-weaned well before > this became an issue. > Mary
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My daughter is 11 months and has shown no signs of giving it up. For a number of reasons 1)want to get pregnant 2)want husband to put her to bed 3)goal was 1 year, I want to wean her starting in a few weeks (after we get back from vacation) Anyways, I am getting nervous about her reactions and how this will affect her. What are some suggestions from those who have had to wean a twelve month old who still likes to nurse? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Laura Zywicki
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