Question:
I live in the UK and unfortunately the doctors here will not give him an allergy test until he is at least 7. It would be great if we could work out what he should and shouldn’t eat. We think he is allergic to Dairy products so he has Soya products instead, but this apparently could change at any time. We have been offered an elimination diet but this would involve a very strict and restricting diet to start with and I do not relish the idea with his current mood for eating. XX, Rosie.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> How many naps is he getting? > My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he > absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before and > I > know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming > but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. > He > suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches > himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been > mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the > best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will > this > make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any > advice on this matter. > Anxiously waiting, > Rosie.
Response:
My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before and I know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. He suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will this make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any advice on this matter. Anxiously waiting, Rosie.
Response:
> My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he > absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before and I > know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming > but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. He > suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches > himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been > mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the > best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will this > make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any > advice on this matter. > Anxiously waiting, > Rosie.
offer him a variety of foods — if he doesn’t want them — tea is over. at this age you may want to let him change his mind and eat but don’t get in a swivet — missing a few meals won’t hurt him don’t argue with him — eating is his job not yours
Response:
Thanks for the quick reply. there is something else you may be able to help me with also. When he starts to have his tantrum I let him know I am not pleased by raising my voice which makes him scream louder, do you think it is wrong for me to be angry at him and that it may make him scared rather than help him learn a lesson. Thanks again, Rosie.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he > absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before and I > know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming > but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. He > suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches > himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been > mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the > best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will this > make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any > advice on this matter. > Anxiously waiting, > Rosie. > offer him a variety of foods — if he doesn’t want them — tea is over. > at this age you may want to let him change his mind and eat but don’t get > in a swivet — missing a few meals won’t hurt him > don’t argue with him — eating is his job not yours
Response:
How many naps is he getting?
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he > absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before and I > know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming > but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. He > suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches > himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been > mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the > best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will this > make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any > advice on this matter. > Anxiously waiting, > Rosie.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he > absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before and I > know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming > but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. He > suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches > himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been > mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the > best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will this > make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any > advice on this matter. > Anxiously waiting, > Rosie.
Years from now they will probably find the foods you’re trying to feed him cause the eczema. And even if they don’t the result will be the same from the stress!! Let him eat what he wants, you are in a battle of wills with your child and you cannot win, so STOP TRYING!! Simply find things he likes, a really good variety, and get him chewable vitamins. His body at that age will likely determine what he really needs if you leave it to his body to figure out. ASK HIM what he wants to eat and GIVE it to him! Steve
Response:
> Thanks for the quick reply. there is something else you may be able to help > me with also. When he starts to have his tantrum I let him know I am not > pleased by raising my voice which makes him scream louder, do you think it > is wrong for me to be angry at him and that it may make him scared rather > than help him learn a lesson. > Thanks again, > Rosie.
It would piss anybody off, give it up! What he eats is HIS business! Steve
Response:
> How many naps is he getting?
Oh great, this asshole wants to "nap" him to death. A punitive use of sleep. How stupid. She should stop abusing him with her CRAP FIRST!!! Let him eat what he wants, buy him things he likes, and see if the eczema doesn’t get lots better! Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he > absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before and > I > know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming > but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. > He > suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches > himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been > mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the > best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will > this > make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any > advice on this matter. > Anxiously waiting, > Rosie.
Response:
> > How many naps is he getting? > Oh great, this asshole wants to "nap" him to death. A punitive use of > sleep. How stupid. She should stop abusing him with her CRAP FIRST!!! > Let him eat what he wants, buy him things he likes, and see if the > eczema doesn’t get lots better!
There are times that children act up when they are overly tired. YS (AD/HD-Combined) has always been like that. When he’s tired, he gets really, really wound up, starts doing things *way* to fast, talking way to fast, and can’t seem to stop. If he *does* admit to being tired, I’ll have him stop to rest for a bit. If he doesn’t admit to being tired, I ask him to take a look at how he is behaving then tell me what that behavior usually means. Once he sits/lays down to rest for a minute, he usually falls to sleep. However, I agree that what the original poster wrote didn’t seem like what I’m used to with our kids and my nieces when it comes to an exhausted child’s behavior. The possible correlation between the eczema and the disinterest in certain foods that the child apparently liked before is a good point, IMO. Even if the particular food didn’t cause the eczema, the child may have eaten that food prior to an outbreak, thereby giving the child a "logical" correlation between that food and the eczema. I’ve an uncle in his 50’s who hasn’t liked bananas since he was a baby due to a similar incident. — Kitten = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = I’m a bitch, I’m a lover; I’m a child, I’m a mother I’m a sinner, I’m a saint; I do not feel ashamed I’m your hell, I’m you dream; I’m nothing in between You know you wouldn’t want it any other way – – - Meredith Brooks
Response:
> Thanks for the quick reply. there is something else you may be able to help > me with also. When he starts to have his tantrum I let him know I am not > pleased by raising my voice which makes him scream louder, do you think it > is wrong for me to be angry at him and that it may make him scared rather > than help him learn a lesson.
If he starts crying/screaming and there is no physical cause, I’d suggest *not* getting angry at all, but instead make a game out of it. Smile, sing "la, la, la" (or some other silly thing) at least as loudly as he is crying, then giggle and do it again. When he looks at you like you’re going out of your gord, laugh and ask him how loud he can get, then sing your silly "song" again. Pretty soon he’ll be laughing along with you. However, you should *ALWAYS* make sure there is nothing physically wrong (including tiredness) causing his outburst before following the above tactic. Anger teaches lessons you *don’t* want to teach your child. Yes, we all get angry at times, but think about how you wish your children to deal with their anger at the ages of 2, 5, 10, 15, 20, 30, etc. Are you living what you’d like them to learn? — Kitten = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = I’m a bitch, I’m a lover; I’m a child, I’m a mother I’m a sinner, I’m a saint; I do not feel ashamed I’m your hell, I’m you dream; I’m nothing in between You know you wouldn’t want it any other way – – - Meredith Brooks
Response:
My 15 month old is in his own way a "rebel". He eats well but does not give up once he has something on his mind. My doctor suggested to put him in a playpen for a one minute time out since he is too young to sit still or listen to lectures. I tried it for the first time today and it works. I realise that your son scratches himself but a pair of mitts with an elastic around them works wonders. I had to do this when my son fell and scratched his hand and he refused to leave a bandaid on. As for the eating, kids will not let themselves starve to death. Don’t force him but offer a variety of foods around the house at most times. My daughter was a picky eater and my doctor suggested that I let her eat what she wants, when she wants, where she wants, even if it’s in the bathtub. I used to keep a plate of cheese, crackers, pasta noodles, etc. around for her to eat and somedays she ate and some she didn’t. I wish you luck and please let us know what works for you. As for you Steve, I was just wondering what the colour is the sky in your world? I have been in this newsgroup for a month and you have no tact. It is fine if you want to state your opinion but why so vulgar? I know that you get pleasure out of shocking people and upsetting them and that is why you do it, but I just thought that I would warn you that you are making a complete idiot of yourself by doing it. You seem to like a good debate so take a bite of this. How Steve is a Moron by J.L. "Simply find things he likes, a really good variety, and get him chewable vitamins." He is sixteen months old. He is not old enough for chewable vitamins, let alone how is she going to expect him to eat them if he won’t even eat food? Do vitamins taste better than food? Let me know the verdict on this one. "His body at that age will likely determine what he really needs if you leave it to his body to figure out" If his body knew what was good for him at this age, he still wouldn’t be shitting in his diapers you moron. Again, I state that he is 16 months old. "It would piss anybody off, give it up! What he eats is HIS business!" Steve He is a baby. He doesn’t even know what business means, never mind having is own. You must of been having an off moment because that doesn’t make any sense at all. "Oh great, this asshole wants to "nap" him to death. A punitive use of sleep. How stupid. She should stop abusing him with her CRAP FIRST!!! Let him eat what he wants, buy him things he likes, and see if the eczema doesn’t get lots better!" Steve So here you are not only trashing the person who posted, but the person offering some advice. Maybe the baby is a bad sleeper and this may be a big part of the problem. That was all the person was suggesting. Of course though, the Great Steve knows all so everybody take a bow. And what the hell is "doesn’t get lots better!" supposed to be? There is a little something called grammar. You should try it sometime. I also think that as a mother she would know what foods would cause his eczema to flare up or not. "ASK HIM what he wants to eat and GIVE it to him!" Steve I did not know that 16 month olds could carry a converstaion, maybe I should go ask my son when he feels like going to bed. I cannot belive that I have not had the pleasure of meeting someone this simple-minded before. Well I am on the topic of trashing Steve: "We let out kids have sex at home in their rooms with their friends so that it would never be furtive or rushed and so they would always have our support and contraception/barrier supplies, and the time to think about how to do it properly or whether to do it. Ours started at ages 11 and 12. They were never hurt and never pregnant. They are both young professionals now." Steve Now this I know you put on just to piss off people. Unless you sexually molested your children while they were growing up, they would not be mentally prepared for sex, let alone want it. Either you were pimping them or you are full of shit. Are they young professional whores now? I know when I come back here tomorrow, I will be at the centre of your wrath, but that’s ok. I know that if you didn’t derive some pleasure out of this, you wouldn’t reply. If you really felt all this resentment towards other people, you wouldn’t even leave your house, let alone talk to other humans. Either that or you wouldn’t waste your efforts on a parenting newsgroup like ours. You are probably the same 15 year old that goes into the pregnancy chat rooms and tells the mothers-to-be that you like to kill and eat newborns. From reading all the advice you have given, it is obvious that you don’t know the first thing about children which proves my statement even more that you are nothing but some lonely teenager that lives in his parents basement. Unlike other people in this NG, I look forward to your reply. Let your moronic ways shine on through. J.L.
Response:
P.S. I notice that Steve never posts. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have children? And if you say it’s because you would never ask fucking morons like us any questions, then why do you come in here and post almost everyday? J. L.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he > absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before and I > know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming > but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. He > suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches > himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been > mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the > best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will this > make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any > advice on this matter. > Anxiously waiting, > Rosie.
Personally, I think if you try to force him to eat, or create a negative atmosphere at mealtime, then mealtimes will be a stressful time. For both of you. He may just be going through a "thing": maybe he is teething & just doesn’t want to eat, coming down with a flu or a cold, is trying to assert is independence, etc. I have gone through many of these periods with my 2 1/2 yr old daughter. As much as it drives me crazy that she doesn’t eat – I just have to bite my tongue & make the atmosphere pleasant. Act like it is no big deal to you if they eat or not. Offer nutritious food that you know they like. Sit down, & enjoy your meal. If he hasn’t eaten when the meal is done, wordlessly take the food away. I also offer small nutritious snacks in between meals too. Babies & toddlers know how much food they need. You cannot force them to eat. If he doesn’t have a full meal with all the food groups in one sitting, aim for all the food groups in one day – or one week. And give him vitamin supplements. Jenn
Response:
> Thanks for the quick reply. there is something else you may be able to help > me with also. When he starts to have his tantrum I let him know I am not > pleased by raising my voice which makes him scream louder, do you think it > is wrong for me to be angry at him and that it may make him scared rather > than help him learn a lesson. > Thanks again, > Rosie.
Try try try to not be angry with him. When he is losing control, it is scary to see his mother losing control too. Remain calm. Whatever the cause of the tantrum, ignore it, or remove him from the situation, help him calm down & after it is over let him know that you still love him with lots of hugs. Jenn
Response:
> > > How many naps is he getting? > Oh great, this asshole wants to "nap" him to death. A punitive use of > sleep. How stupid. She should stop abusing him with her CRAP FIRST!!! > Let him eat what he wants, buy him things he likes, and see if the > eczema doesn’t get lots better!
Spoken like somebody who wants to raise brats…. Not to state the obvious, but sometimes parents can miss the obvious things, like making sure their kid gets enough sleep. Some young children at that age resist naps, and some parents, when their kid is crying after 4 minutes, takes them out of their crib and the kid never gets enough sleep during the day. Perhaps you should speak to a pediatrician about this, or at least read a Book, Steverino. Steve – "Hey – I’m calling you from my new cell phone in my car!" Steve’s Mom – "Come home quick – the News says that there’s some idiot driving the wrong way on the interstate!" Steve – "Heck Momma, I;m on the Interstate and everyone is driving the wrong way!" > There are times that children act up when they are overly tired. YS > (AD/HD-Combined) has always been like that. When he’s tired, he gets > really, really wound up, starts doing things *way* to fast, talking way > to fast, and can’t seem to stop. If he *does* admit to being tired, > I’ll have him stop to rest for a bit. If he doesn’t admit to being > tired, I ask him to take a look at how he is behaving then tell me what > that behavior usually means. Once he sits/lays down to rest for a > minute, he usually falls to sleep. > However, I agree that what the original poster wrote didn’t seem like > what I’m used to with our kids and my nieces when it comes to an > exhausted child’s behavior.
Hey – I was taking a shot with what I am familiar with. We have been fairly luck when it comes to things like skin conditions. The possible correlation between the eczema – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> and the disinterest in certain foods that the child apparently liked > before is a good point, IMO. Even if the particular food didn’t cause > the eczema, the child may have eaten that food prior to an outbreak, > thereby giving the child a "logical" correlation between that food and > the eczema. I’ve an uncle in his 50’s who hasn’t liked bananas since he > was a baby due to a similar incident. > — > Kitten > = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = > I’m a bitch, I’m a lover; I’m a child, I’m a mother > I’m a sinner, I’m a saint; I do not feel ashamed > I’m your hell, I’m you dream; I’m nothing in between > You know you wouldn’t want it any other way > – > – - Meredith Brooks
Response:
> P.S. > I notice that Steve never posts. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have > children? And if you say it’s because you would never ask fucking morons > like us any questions, then why do you come in here and post almost > everyday?
Shut-ins have to have something to do while listening to Rush Limbaugh and G.Gordon Liddy while they are working up a good beer drunk before their daily bottle/pigion shooting spree….
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > > How many naps is he getting? > > Oh great, this asshole wants to "nap" him to death. A punitive use of > > sleep. How stupid. She should stop abusing him with her CRAP FIRST!!! > > Let him eat what he wants, buy him things he likes, and see if the > > eczema doesn’t get lots better! > Spoken like somebody who wants to raise brats….
I THOUGHT you were nothing but an abusive little shit with a paranoia of anyone who won’t OBEY them, and *I* WAS RIGHT!! NEWS FOR YOUSE: That isn’t where "brats" come from, you’ve been LIED to TERRIBLY by the abusive shaming guilting power-freaks who raised you! > Not to state the obvious, but sometimes parents can miss the obvious things, > like making sure their kid gets enough sleep. Some young children at that > age resist naps,
You’d resist something that was forced on you too, that’s human nature, and that’s why NOBODY WITH ANY SENSE tries to force a child to do something that’s good for him. Anything good they will do automatically when they need it. Mine simply fell asleep when they were tired and nobody needed to get upset or anything. Have a little fucking faith in nature, would you? I know that makes your kind of guilt-rridden abused control-freak all shakey and nervous and such trust makes your kind feel like the universe is running wrong, but it is the actual factual truth!!! > and some parents, when their kid is crying after 4 minutes, > takes them out of their crib and the kid never gets enough sleep during the > day.
Nonsense, if you pick them up right away they feel loved and cared for and stop worrying and go to sleep! Somebody gave you a whole bunch of really sick untrue justifications for the kind if ABUSE they raised you with, but IT’S ALL FUCKING LIES!! > Perhaps you should speak to a pediatrician about this, or at least read a > Book, Steverino.
I knew Dr. Spock personally, asshole, I once took him to supper and spent an evening with him. Go read better books, asshole. The only so-called "books" you’ve been reading were by a tiny minority of sick littlke control freaks writing backlash books against professionalism and good sense when such trust in the universe makes you nervous! > Steve – "Hey – I’m calling you from my new cell phone in my car!" > Steve’s Mom – "Come home quick – the News says that there’s some idiot > driving the wrong way on the interstate!" > Steve – "Heck Momma, I;m on the Interstate and everyone is driving the wrong > way!"
If you read only the few little signs erected by twisted abused little control freaks like you, you’ll miss the great big ones up high put there by the rest of us!! You’re problem is that you didn’t expect the REAL signs to be THAT BIG!! Steve
Response:
> My 15 month old is in his own way a "rebel". He eats well but does not give > up once he has something on his mind. My doctor suggested to put him in a > playpen for a one minute time out since he is too young to sit still or > listen to lectures.
All your idiot ped has done is have you convince your child that you are the enemy of his real wants and needs. He doesn’t need lectures, nobody does. It is normal for a kid to be purposeful, and it is not anything bad of him or for him. By pushing him off when things get hard you are abandoning him when he needs to show you what he wants, and he’s getting to feel you don’t matter to anything important to him!! > As for you Steve, I was just wondering what the colour is the sky in your > world? > I have been in this newsgroup for a month and you have no tact.
That’s absolutely true, now you know the cosmic basis for my philosophy, I NEVER EVER LIE! I don’t believe in lying generally. > It is fine > if you want to state your opinion but why so vulgar?
Not using the filthy speech everyone wants to use is a form of lying. I’m also against PC speech. > I know that you get > pleasure out of shocking people and upsetting them and that is why you do > it,
Actually I have no need for that. If people were already like me I would be pleased and go do other things I keep trying to find time for. Your amateur psych is amusing, however. > but I just thought that I would warn you that you are making a complete > idiot of yourself by doing it.
Oh I imagined you were stupid enough to believe you actually think something like that, it would undoubtedly make you think your mother would be proud of you for it. > You seem to like a good debate so take a > bite of this. > How Steve is a Moron by J.L. > "Simply find things he likes, a > really good variety, and get him chewable vitamins." > He is sixteen months old. He is not old enough for chewable vitamins,
Sure he is. Look it up, there are numerous documents on the proper levels of vitamins for small children. I believe in them. We used to crush them for them. > let > alone how is she going to expect him to eat them if he won’t even eat food?
Chewables taste good. Also, he must eat or he will die. Whatever he eats grind them up in that. > Do vitamins taste better than food? Let me know the verdict on this one.
YThe chewable C certainly does, and the rest isn’t bad. No, mix crushed ones in with what he likes. > "His body at that age > will likely determine what he really needs if you leave it to his body > to figure out" > If his body knew what was good for him at this age, he still wouldn’t be > shitting in his diapers you moron.
Sure he would. Until he can manage it that is the most convenient thing to do. > Again, I state that he is 16 months old.
We heard you the first time. > "It would piss anybody off, give it up! What he eats is HIS business!" > Steve > He is a baby. He doesn’t even know what business means, never mind having > is own.
Sure he does, he has an ego after 2-4 months of age, and he wants what he wants for reasons we cannot even remember! > You must of been having an off moment because that doesn’t make any > sense at all.
Hahah, you mean YOU are. > "Oh great, this asshole wants to "nap" him to death. A punitive use of > sleep. How stupid. She should stop abusing him with her CRAP FIRST!!! > Let him eat what he wants, buy him things he likes, and see if the > eczema doesn’t get lots better!" > Steve > So here you are not only trashing the person who posted, but the person > offering some advice.
The alleged "person" offering that advice revealed himself in his next post on this thread as believing that otherwise he would become a "brat"!! That kind of emotionally primitive paranoid response is classic among disciplinary authoritarian assholes. He was INDEED wishing to use "naptime" punitively, just as I predicted. > Maybe the baby is a bad sleeper and this may be a big > part of the problem. That was all the person was suggesting.
No, you need to read this fool first. I know his type, he follows a long established pattern among Rightist control-freaks abused as children. > Of course > though, the Great Steve knows all so everybody take a bow.
I know what I know! > And what the > hell is "doesn’t get lots better!" supposed to be? There is a little > something called grammar. You should try it sometime.
If you had quoted me it would have revealed itself to have been acceptible english. > I also think that as > a mother she would know what foods would cause his eczema to flare up or > not.
GEE, YOU’D THINK!! Having worked the ER I know what parents know, and it is often "not a hell of a lot"! > "ASK HIM what he wants to eat and GIVE it to him!" > Steve > I did not know that 16 month olds could carry a converstaion,
Mine could make their desires known. > maybe I should > go ask my son when he feels like going to bed.
No, simply don’t force him. I never forced mine! > I cannot belive that I have not had the pleasure of meeting someone this > simple-minded before.
The truth is always more simple than contrived falsehood like yours. > Well I am on the topic of trashing Steve: > "We let out kids have sex at home in their rooms with their friends so > that it would never be furtive or rushed and so they would always have > our support and contraception/barrier supplies, and the time to think > about how to do it properly or whether to do it. Ours started at ages 11 > and 12. They were never hurt and never pregnant. They are both young > professionals now." > Steve > Now this I know you put on just to piss off people. Unless you sexually > molested your children while they were growing up,
You likely call normal sexuality in their presence "molestation", when half the cultures on earth do the same as we did. We did not "molest" them, unless you call our normal sexuality "moestation"! > they would not be > mentally prepared for sex, let alone want it.
They were, and did. The only people you know where intentionally DIS-prepared for sex by being shamed about their bodies and being artificially isolated from it in a very sick manner! You don’t even know what peri-pubescent people NORMALLY want when they aren’t raised in ignorance and darkness. > Either you were pimping them > or you are full of shit.
The third alternative is that you’re full of shit, and that is the truth here. > Are they young professional whores now?
I don’t know, do you think professional programmers are "whores"?? That’s what they both are, programmers!! And what would be an "amateur whore" then?? > I know when I come back here tomorrow, I will be at the centre of your > wrath, but that’s ok. I know that if you didn’t derive some pleasure out of > this, you wouldn’t reply.
If you had died before you spewed this filthy little rectal contraction of your mouth here, then I’d never have missed you at all. So if your kind simply croaks on your own vomit, it would be fine with me. > If you really felt all this resentment towards > other people, you wouldn’t even leave your house, let alone talk to other > humans.
Since I do leave my house and talk to others LIKE ME and otherwise then that would simply make you WRONG! > Either that or you wouldn’t waste your efforts on a parenting > newsgroup like ours.
It’s a calling. > You are probably the same 15 year old that goes into > the pregnancy chat rooms and tells the mothers-to-be that you like to kill > and eat newborns.
That would be difficult since I am 51 years old and also don’t find eating newborn to be very palatable. > From reading all the advice you have given, it is obvious > that you don’t know the first thing about children
Which is of course how I raised two of my own. > which proves my statement > even more that you are nothing but some lonely teenager that lives in his > parents basement.
Well, since my 70 year old mother lives 2000 miles from here and doesn’t HAVE a basement that would be difficult. > Unlike other people in this NG, I look forward to your reply. > Let your moronic ways shine on through. > J.L.
You’re the jerk, and you have proven that, and not much else. Steve
Response:
> P.S. > I notice that Steve never posts.
YOU mean posts QUESTIONS? > Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have > children?
Two grown and off on their own in their late 20’s. > And if you say it’s because you would never ask fucking morons > like us any questions,
That’s entirely correct, but also I have no questions I don’t know the answers to about childrearing. > then why do you come in here and post almost > everyday? > J. L.
To make sure the truth is told to and about fucks like you! Steve
Response:
> > P.S. > I notice that Steve never posts. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have > children? And if you say it’s because you would never ask fucking morons > like us any questions, then why do you come in here and post almost > everyday? > Shut-ins have to have something to do while listening to Rush Limbaugh and > G.Gordon Liddy while they are working up a good beer drunk before their > daily bottle/pigion shooting spree….
God, I’d never listen to those Rightist clowns! And I don’t drink, smoke, or use drugs. I don’t shoot bottles, I go to the range. Steve
Response:
> My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he > absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before > and I know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming > but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. > He suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches > himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been > mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the > best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will > this > make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any > advice on this matter. > Anxiously waiting,
WRT Eczema, have your son tested for food allergies. Our 3 year old daughter suffered from eczema until we discovered that it was triggered by a mild allergy to wheat. She still gets wheat products, but we limit it, and it is a great help in relieving her symptoms.
Response:
> My 15 month old is in his own way a "rebel". He eats well but does not give > up once he has something on his mind. My doctor suggested to put him in a > playpen for a one minute time out since he is too young to sit still or > listen to lectures. > All your idiot ped has done is have you convince your child that you > are the enemy of his real wants and needs. He doesn’t need lectures, > nobody does. It is normal for a kid to be purposeful, and it is not > anything bad of him or for him. By pushing him off when things get hard > you are abandoning him when he needs to show you what he wants, and > he’s getting to feel you don’t matter to anything important to him!!
See here Steve, you shoot your mouth off before you even know what you are talking about. My doctor is not a ped, he is a family doctor. He is not an idiot, or else he wouldn’t be the doctor at 2 large corporations, have his own pratice and have a wife who is a child physcologist. I didn’t say he needed lectures, it was just an off handed remark. I do not really care your views on wether I should put him in his playpen or not but let me ask you this, if you are such good friends with Dr. Spock, I am sure your dinners are not very pleasurable considering most of his views are the same as everyone elses in here except yours. Fight me on this one Steve, I can quote if you wish. > I know that you get > pleasure out of shocking people and upsetting them and that is why you do > it, > Actually I have no need for that. If people were already like me I > would be pleased and go do other things I keep trying to find time for. > Your amateur psych is amusing, however.
So you have taking it as your great calling to help turn us parents and our evil ways around? If what you say about you is true, I am sure that a 51 year old man has better things to do than to feel he is obligated to force his opinions somewhere where they are not appreciated. What about grandchildren? Do you have any? Probably not because your young professional were damaged when they had sex so young. Unless they were loosened up by their father’s wandering hands prior to that. So it’s either that or your an overcontrolling freak who feels the need to make everyone think like him. You say children need to be let loose and experience things, well parenting is the same. You learn together and we come in here to gain ideas from other parents. It called brainstorming, not Let Steve force his views on everyone else. > but I just thought that I would warn you that you are making a complete > idiot of yourself by doing it. > Oh I imagined you were stupid enough to believe you actually think > something like that, it would undoubtedly make you think your mother > would be proud of you for it.
See there you have no comeback except for rambling off a bunch of words. It has no merit, no fact, no basis. Who said anything about my mother? You might as well of just said…..blah blah blah, I think you’re stupid….blah blah blah. Just plain ol’ "you are stupid" would of been suffice here. . > The alleged "person" offering that advice revealed himself in his next > post on this thread as believing that otherwise he would become a > "brat"!! That kind of emotionally primitive paranoid response is classic > among disciplinary authoritarian assholes. He was INDEED wishing to use > "naptime" punitively, just as I predicted. > Maybe the baby is a bad sleeper and this may be a big > part of the problem. That was all the person was suggesting. > No, you need to read this fool first. I know his type, he follows a > long established pattern among Rightist control-freaks abused as > children.
And you don’t think that you are a control freak? > "ASK HIM what he wants to eat and GIVE it to him!" > Steve > I did not know that 16 month olds could carry a converstaion, > Mine could make their desires known.
Not by speaking plain english. "Yes mum, I would appreciate some cheese and crackers. That would be delightful! " > maybe I should > go ask my son when he feels like going to bed. > No, simply don’t force him. I never forced mine!
That there was sarcasim Steve, I know you are not a stranger to it. It was nowhere near bedtime, I just used it as an example. But according to your buddy there, (Dr. Spock), we should let our children cry themselves to sleep. I consider that forcing them. If you feel the need to argue with someone about parenting, why not him? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Well I am on the topic of trashing Steve: > "We let out kids have sex at home in their rooms with their friends so > that it would never be furtive or rushed and so they would always have > our support and contraception/barrier supplies, and the time to think > about how to do it properly or whether to do it. Ours started at ages 11 > and 12. They were never hurt and never pregnant. They are both young > professionals now." > Steve > Now this I know you put on just to piss off people. Unless you sexually > molested your children while they were growing up, > You likely call normal sexuality in their presence "molestation", when > half the cultures on earth do the same as we did. We did not "molest" > them, unless you call our normal sexuality "moestation"!
So you let them watch you have sex then? I still find it hard to believe that you let you children have sex when they were in grade 5/6. Just because other cultures walk around naked and marry when they are 12, doesn’t mean that ours does. You are a product of your environment. If everyone in their culture has sex around that young age, then they are more prepared for it. In this culture, you made your children outcasts. You let your children be raped when it would of done no harm to have them wait a few years. If it wasn’t for you, they wouldn’t even know what "real" sex was at that age. I find it hard to believe that you worked in an ER knowing the human body as it is and still let your children do this. > Are they young professional whores now? > I don’t know, do you think professional programmers are "whores"?? > That’s what they both are, programmers!! And what would be an "amateur > whore" then??
Perhaps some one of a young age, 11, 12 maybe. > Either that or you wouldn’t waste your efforts on a parenting > newsgroup like ours. > It’s a calling.
Don’t do us any favours Steve. Please. > From reading all the advice you have given, it is obvious > that you don’t know the first thing about children > Which is of course how I raised two of my own.
I feel sorry for them then. How can you find you views to be educated and of worth when absolutely everyone in here disagrees with you? Yes, I know that we are all "idiots", but isn’t it more likely that you are the one and only idiot intead of you being the only smart one out of hundreds? > Unlike other people in this NG, I look forward to your reply. > Let your moronic ways shine on through. > J.L. > You’re the jerk, and you have proven that, and not much else. > Steve
I apologize, I forgot that you were an idiot. J.L P.S. You are 51 years old. The majority of us are decades younger than you. Why don’t you go to a grandparents NG and mouth off your opinions there? You were raised in a time where your daughters were to remain virgins till marraige. I still find you very unbelievable.
Response:
>"So you have taken it as your great calling ……"
Is what I meant to say. J.L. "Me fail English? That’s unpossible!" Ralph Wiggum
Response:
He only ocasionally sleeps in the daytime, he doesn’t seem to want to sleep.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> How many naps is he getting? > My son is 16 months and has started having tantrums at tea time, he > absolutely refuses to have even one mouthful of food he has had before and > I > know he likes. I have to force myself to be firm and ignore his screaming > but he works himself into such a state that he won’t even have his milk. > He > suffers from Eczema so I cannot completely ignore him as he scratches > himself rotten when stressed. Up until now Dinner & tea times have been > mostly OK with the few exceptions. I don’t know how to deal with him the > best way, will he eventually learn that he has to eat his meals or will > this > make mealtimes a stressful time for him? I would be very grateful for any > advice on this matter. > Anxiously waiting, > Rosie.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > My 15 month old is in his own way a "rebel". He eats well but does not > give > > up once he has something on his mind. My doctor suggested to put him in > a > > playpen for a one minute time out since he is too young to sit still or > > listen to lectures. > All your idiot ped has done is have you convince your child that you > are the enemy of his real wants and needs. He doesn’t need lectures, > nobody does. It is normal for a kid to be purposeful, and it is not > anything bad of him or for him. By pushing him off when things get hard > you are abandoning him when he needs to show you what he wants, and > he’s getting to feel you don’t matter to anything important to him!! > See here Steve, you shoot your mouth off before you even know what you are > talking about. My doctor is not a ped, he is a family doctor.
Irrelevant. > He is not an > idiot, or else he wouldn’t be the doctor at 2 large corporations, have his > own pratice and have a wife who is a child physcologist.
He’s still an authority-ridden crank, there are lots of these damaged people in this society. > I didn’t say he > needed lectures, it was just an off handed remark. I do not really care > your views on wether I should put him in his playpen or not but let me ask > you this, if you are such good friends with Dr. Spock, I am sure your > dinners are not very pleasurable considering most of his views are the same > as everyone elses in here except yours. Fight me on this one Steve, I can > quote if you wish.
Nonsense. I know better. > > I know that you get > > pleasure out of shocking people and upsetting them and that is why you > do > > it, > Actually I have no need for that. If people were already like me I > would be pleased and go do other things I keep trying to find time for. > Your amateur psych is amusing, however. > So you have taking it as your great calling to help turn us parents and our > evil ways around? If what you say about you is true, I am sure that a 51 > year old man has better things to do than to feel he is obligated to force > his opinions somewhere where they are not appreciated.
Where they are not apreciated is precisely where they are needed. > What about > grandchildren? Do you have any? Probably not because your young > professional were damaged when they had sex so young.
No, they simply haven’t been married yet. > Unless they were > loosened up by their father’s wandering hands prior to that.
Now that’s merely an offensive slur, it proves you’re nothing but titillated by people like us. You imagine all sorts of garbage. > So it’s either > that or your an overcontrolling freak who feels the need to make everyone > think like him.
I care not what you think, only what you do to your children. You can think any fucking thing you want if you fucking keep it to yourself! > You say children need to be let loose and experience > things, well parenting is the same.
Children have no victims for their self-exploration, parents have their children as the victims of their abusiveness. > You learn together and we come in here > to gain ideas from other parents. It called brainstorming, not Let Steve > force his views on everyone else.
I say what I believe, like you say what you believe. Live with it. > > but I just thought that I would warn you that you are making a complete > > idiot of yourself by doing it. > Oh I imagined you were stupid enough to believe you actually think > something like that, it would undoubtedly make you think your mother > would be proud of you for it. > See there you have no comeback except for rambling off a bunch of words. It > has no merit, no fact, no basis. Who said anything about my mother?
I did. > You > might as well of just said…..blah blah blah, I think you’re stupid….blah > blah blah. Just plain ol’ "you are stupid" would of been suffice here.
Well you are! > > Maybe the baby is a bad sleeper and this may be a big > > part of the problem. That was all the person was suggesting. > No, you need to read this fool first. I know his type, he follows a > long established pattern among Rightist control-freaks abused as > children. > And you don’t think that you are a control freak?
I am interested in controlling parents’ controlling of their children. I am defending their victims. > > "ASK HIM what he wants to eat and GIVE it to him!" > > Steve > > I did not know that 16 month olds could carry a converstaion, > Mine could make their desires known. > Not by speaking plain english.
And is that the only way your child tells you what he wants?? How stupid. > "Yes mum, I would appreciate some cheese and crackers. That would be > delightful! "
If all he can do is grab or lean in the general direction and wail it is your job to figure out what he means and render it! > > maybe I should > > go ask my son when he feels like going to bed. > No, simply don’t force him. I never forced mine! > That there was sarcasim Steve, I know you are not a stranger to it.
Since I don’t need it at home I actually am somewhat. > It was > nowhere near bedtime, I just used it as an example. But according to your > buddy there, (Dr. Spock), we should let our children cry themselves to > sleep.
That’s a lie. In that passage he said later he made a dire mistake he has taken decades to live down. You’d have to have a book copyright 1948 and none later to believe he thought that! > I consider that forcing them. If you feel the need to argue with > someone about parenting, why not him?
I took him to task for it, and he said he has never heard the end of it since that off-style remark in his first book. He did write a lot more after that against that practice. > > Now this I know you put on just to piss off people. Unless you sexually > > molested your children while they were growing up, > You likely call normal sexuality in their presence "molestation", when > half the cultures on earth do the same as we did. We did not "molest" > them, unless you call our normal sexuality "moestation"! > So you let them watch you have sex then?
Since they were born, nearly every day, just like many third world peoples. > I still find it hard to believe > that you let you children have sex when they were in grade 5/6.
Well, then you would be wrong. They wanted to do so. They were very mature for their years, as we were biologically, both of us were sexually mature by 10 (my wife) or 11 (me). > Just > because other cultures walk around naked and marry when they are 12, doesn’t > mean that ours does.
We weren’t living in "ours", we were living in OURS! > You are a product of your environment. If everyone in > their culture has sex around that young age, then they are more prepared for > it.
That’s an idiotic circularity if I ever heard one!! But I see what you meant to say, and yes, our kids felt well-exposed to sex by seeing us all the time. They were quite matter of fact about it, and when they first realized that they had begun craving it they made perfectly normal plans to do it with the first partner that pleased them. First we gave our daughter an ornate vibrator dildo and she used it first so that she would be fully ready. > In this culture, you made your children outcasts. You let your > children be raped when it would of done no harm to have them wait a few > years.
That’s a lie, they weren’t raped, they planned it themselves quite laboriously!! Nobody MADE them! > If it wasn’t for you, they wouldn’t even know what "real" sex was at > that age.
So you’d like to keep children in ignorance, how abusive and crude of you!! And if you even make them eat alone you can even teach them shame for that too, so why not!?? Shame is completely taught, it doesn’t arise normally. > I find it hard to believe that you worked in an ER knowing the > human body as it is and still let your children do this.
It is precisely BECAUSE of what we knew that we did this!! We had researched the practices of all the world’s cultures and believed that this culture had been quite wrong and perverted by European enslavement of serfs for two or three thousand years. We also opposed monogamy and had many sexual partners. > > Are they young professional whores now? > I don’t know, do you think professional programmers are "whores"?? > That’s what they both are, programmers!! And what would be an "amateur > whore" then?? > Perhaps some one of a young age, 11, 12 maybe.
The term is misbegotten. A "whore" charges by definition. Nobody in MY family would ever even CONSIDER charging someone else for sex. So then "amateur whore" would be an oxymoron. Instead we jokingly call ourselves sluts, and we’re proud of the fact that we do it for FREE! > > Either that or you wouldn’t waste your efforts on a parenting > > newsgroup like ours. > It’s a calling. > Don’t do us any favours Steve. Please.
It’s a calling, not a … read more »
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