Question:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> —–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– >> http://www.zerotothree.org has lots of articles on child >> development >> and what to expect and tips on how to cope >> as well. >> This is a good outline of social and emotional development >> in infants as well >> http://www.newportweb.com/online/child_development/chapter_9_notes. >> htm >> Dorothy >Hi Dorothy: >I’m new to this NG and really appreciate finding new links to >parenting. I especially like the zerotothree webpage. I’m a >first-time mommy at the ripe, young age of 38 with daddy of 42. >While maturity brings some wisdom and patience to parenting, there’s >nothing like education and experience from other parents when one is >trying her very best to make these first few years as >developmentally intact as possible. Thanks again for sharing. >Mia’s Mom > You are welcome. This ng has it share of trolls and idiots, but > most > people are caring parents or teachers who are sharing their > own knowledge and experience. > I’m going to be a grandma in July… And there are other grandmas > here too and I teach 4 year olds, so have a lot of things I can > offer. > Dorothy
Hi Dorothy: I’m looking forward to learning more from you and other experienced teachers and parents. CONGRATS on that new grandbaby! :-) Mia’s Mom
Response:
This is normal for a 6 month old. I would not worry about her being "clingy". How is she with your mother if you leave them alone? I’m sure she will cry when you leave but I bet she will stop within a few minutes after you are gone and once she is distracted with something/someone else. I would rather leave her alone with a loving relative while on my honeymoon than take her along and leave her for a few hours a day with a stranger! How do you know the hotel’s childcare is safe, loving, etc.? If you have waited this long, why not wait another 6 mo. before going away? Or cut the honeymoon short, like make it a long weekend? This is just my opinion. Mary E.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more > and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite > trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc > several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them > hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes > before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is > happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to > know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in > 2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m > also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. > Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I > thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to > leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would > love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. > Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? > My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, > and we would really benefit from some space. > Is there any hope for us? > Megan
Response:
> http://www.zerotothree.org has lots of articles on child > development > and what to expect and tips on how to cope > as well. > This is a good outline of social and emotional development > in infants as well > http://www.newportweb.com/online/child_development/chapter_9_notes.htm > Dorothy
Hi Dorothy: I’m new to this NG and really appreciate finding new links to parenting. I especially like the zerotothree webpage. I’m a first-time mommy at the ripe, young age of 38 with daddy of 42. While maturity brings some wisdom and patience to parenting, there’s nothing like education and experience from other parents when one is trying her very best to make these first few years as developmentally intact as possible. Thanks again for sharing. Mia’s Mom
Response:
> I’m going to be a grandma in July… And there are other grandmas > here too and I teach 4 year olds, so have a lot of things I can > offer. > Dorothy
Will this be your first grandchild? Congrats! Marie
Response:
> Steve > Thank god I will never get to meet you in person, you rude, arrogant, stupid > man. People are certainly entitled to your opinion, but not to your > immature and thoughtless judgements.
Sure I am, I’m 52. You’re the one who’s immature, so fuck you too. > Firstly, we did not plan to have a child, she was an accident (albeit a very > lovely one) and the wedding and honeymoon had already been booked when we > found out we were pregnant.
Poor baby. Tell her how much of an accident she is. Repeat it on the Net often enough and in ten or twelve years she’ll be able to do a search on you and find it and read it herself, or a friend or enemy of hers will!! Think I’m wrong? I’ve found a pile of stuff on Google that I wrote back in 1994 the other day, don’t count on it!! > Secondly, if you’d read my post properly, you would have discovered we ARE > taking our baby with us, and for sure she can be with us most of the time, > but obviously any activities would exclude her (horseriding, snorkelling etc > – what do you do on holiday – nothing?)
I wouldn’t do things my kids can’t do, yes. I’ll wait for them to get older. That’s because I’m an adult! Horsey-riding, snorkeling? Jesus what a coupe of fucking Yuppies! You wanted to be DINKs eh? But you blew it!! Must be Catholic or something stupid! What was wrong with abortion? > Thirdly, after 6 months of getting 3-5 hrs of sleep a night, I need some > space – either with or without my husband!
Bullshit. That’s nuthin’. Fucking Yuppies with no tenacity. Baby ruined your social life, did it?? Jeepers! > Obviously you have never had a > child who won’t sleep for no medical reason.
Two of them, now in their late 20’s, but at under age one you stick a tit in their mouth and everybody goes back to sleep and daddy changes and empties all diapers when he’s home. > Some time alone with my > husband may have rekindled a relationship which is rapidly going down hill > (you try and have a relationship on several hours of sleep a night for an > extended period – and the depression and anxiety that goes with sleep > deprivation),
You either need a better husband because he’s holding your sanity hostage instead of doing his part, or you need enough gumption to go on strike sexually till you get what you need. Period, no argument permitted. You stay in bed with baby on your tit till you have enough sleep for that day, after interruptions, and you eat meals he brings you each and every day, he does the diapers and shopping and learns to cook. That’s called fatherhood!! And being a real husband! If daddy wants to fuck he comes to bed with the both of you and he pumps while baby sucks. You watch TV and read paperbacks for the duration. It’s like jail, except cushy. When the first year is over you’ll have a nice baby who is healthy and happy and walking and talking. Works like a charm. A little boring, but you catch up on your TV watching and best sellers. Nice side effect is a healthy child who doesn’t act twitchy! > Finally, out of all my friends with babies the same age (13 babies in > total), mine is the only child who cannot be left with family/care for short > periods – so its not that normal, you moron.
You’re wrong. Your baby developed attachment terror right on time like the others, but somehow you didn’t manage to destroy her yet, so she still has enough sense to tell you what’s wrong, instead of cringing in terror. Some people hit their tiny babies so that they make their parents proud, you ass!!! Yours will be happy and confident while theirs is twitching through therapy, if you don’t blow it with your greed and arrogance!! > well. next time I need advice I will seek out a parenting news group where > your name does not appear!
You asked for tricks, so here’s one: You be an adult, enjoy what you will undoubtedly miss like crazy later. Pay attention, life is what happens while you were making other plans. You don’t need to cry, you’re a grown-up, so quit whining and be a source of strength and hope for a tiny child. Suit yourself, make a murderer if you want. See who cares and see who hurts. Mostly you will. You only GET what you PAY FOR. Surely you’re familiar with the concept!! So pay the two dollars now and save millions later. Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Take the baby with you. You are without hope in trying to make a 6-m/o baby > "less clingy" as you call it. Actually it’s the normal need of a baby!! > If you need a honeymoon alone what in the fuck did you even get married > for, you morons? and why did you EVER have a baby!!?? > Steve
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – says… >>I could have sworn I emphasized "unless it was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY" >>Earning a living would fall into that category, however honeymoon would not. >>Nique >Yeah – the honeymoon, being seemingly not beholden the usual timing, should be >put off for awhile. Maybe to when the baby is 18 months? >Cheers, >Banty > Or else just take the baby along and don’t let that annoy you!! If you > weren’t terrified of having sex next to your baby you wouldn’t let it > bother you anyway!! We simply felt that any "honeymoon" we might ever have > would be a "honeymoon" for our family, and that our baby shouldn’t be > excluded!! Hell, did you know that most porn theaters let women with babies > under a year come in and see the movie???? Well, they DO! We used to do > that quite regularly! So what are you worried about!?? Why wouldn’t someone > want their child with them? > Steve
Personally when I think honeymoon, I think Lambada and Salsa until the wee morning hours along with a hell of a lot of fruity alcoholic drinks and nekkid outdoor flesh on the beach. Shaking my booty with a baby sling does not qualify as a good time…*S* DH and I don’t go out alone to fuck – we go out to DANCE…wheeeeeeeeeeeeee They should wait until the kid has an established and trusting relationship with the extended family.. Sedona Sedona
Response:
Steve Thank god I will never get to meet you in person, you rude, arrogant, stupid man. People are certainly entitled to your opinion, but not to your immature and thoughtless judgements. Firstly, we did not plan to have a child, she was an accident (albeit a very lovely one) and the wedding and honeymoon had already been booked when we found out we were pregnant. Secondly, if you’d read my post properly, you would have discovered we ARE taking our baby with us, and for sure she can be with us most of the time, but obviously any activities would exclude her (horseriding, snorkelling etc – what do you do on holiday – nothing?) Thirdly, after 6 months of getting 3-5 hrs of sleep a night, I need some space – either with or without my husband! Obviously you have never had a child who won’t sleep for no medical reason. Some time alone with my husband may have rekindled a relationship which is rapidly going down hill (you try and have a relationship on several hours of sleep a night for an extended period – and the depression and anxiety that goes with sleep deprivation), Finally, out of all my friends with babies the same age (13 babies in total), mine is the only child who cannot be left with family/care for short periods – so its not that normal, you moron. well. next time I need advice I will seek out a parenting news group where your name does not appear! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Organization: The Armory > Newsgroups: alt.parenting.solutions > I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more > and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite > trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc > several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them > hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes > before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is > happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to > know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in > 2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m > also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. > Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I > thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to > leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would > love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. > Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? > My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, > and we would really benefit from some space. > Is there any hope for us? > Megan > Take the baby with you. You are without hope in trying to make a 6-m/o baby > "less clingy" as you call it. Actually it’s the normal need of a baby!! > If you need a honeymoon alone what in the fuck did you even get married > for, you morons? and why did you EVER have a baby!!?? > Steve
Response:
>steve ‘ > You need to think and do not judge people that you do not know.
Shit, SOMEBODY’S got to do it! >who knows I am sure that some people think you are a moron to.
Is that a question, or even a sentence?? Steve
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more >and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite >trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc >several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them >hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes >before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is >happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to >know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in >2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m >also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. >Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I >thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to >leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would >love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. >Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks?
Am I the only person who noticed you *are* going to take your baby on the honeymoon with you? IMO you won’t know what your chances are of leaving her for any time at all until you get there. Babies can change an awful lot in 6 weeks. Our eldest was an extremely clingy baby, who wouldn’t be left with her grandmother (who lives next door to us) for her first 6 months. She would cry if a stranger got close to her. Then, quite suddenly, around 7 mo, she improved a lot. We took her on an overseas trip and she was suddenly smiling at people. My advice is don’t push her. Try to make her as secure as possible with you, and she will learn to trust others at her own pace. –Lisabell – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, >and we would really benefit from some space. >Is there any hope for us? >Megan
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>>I could have sworn I emphasized "unless it was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY" >Earning a living would fall into that category, however honeymoon would not. >Nique >Yeah – the honeymoon, being seemingly not beholden the usual timing, should be >put off for awhile. Maybe to when the baby is 18 months? >Cheers, >Banty
Or else just take the baby along and don’t let that annoy you!! If you weren’t terrified of having sex next to your baby you wouldn’t let it bother you anyway!! We simply felt that any "honeymoon" we might ever have would be a "honeymoon" for our family, and that our baby shouldn’t be excluded!! Hell, did you know that most porn theaters let women with babies under a year come in and see the movie???? Well, they DO! We used to do that quite regularly! So what are you worried about!?? Why wouldn’t someone want their child with them? Steve
Response:
steve ‘ You need to think and do not judge people that you do not know. who knows I am sure that some people think you are a moron to. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more >and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite >trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc >several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them >hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes >before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is >happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to >know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in >2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m >also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. >Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I >thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to >leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would >love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. >Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? > My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, >and we would really benefit from some space. >Is there any hope for us? >Megan > Take the baby with you. You are without hope in trying to make a 6-m/o baby > "less clingy" as you call it. Actually it’s the normal need of a baby!! > If you need a honeymoon alone what in the fuck did you even get married > for, you morons? and why did you EVER have a baby!!?? > Steve
Response:
> My son, now 15 months, never showed any separation anxiety at all, not at > any age. Lucky us, I guess. What is wrong with a child being used to other > people in his or her life unless that it demonstrates that Mom and Dad are > not the only cat’s meow? Poor Mom and Dad. > Stephanie
My daughter never showed an seperation anxiety either, and I think we are in a club with very small numbers. There is nothing wrong with getting your baby used to other people, but if the OP’s baby is uncomfortable with Grandma whose she’s seen since birth, I doubt leaving her in hotel childcare will be a success either. Sherrie — Momma to Madison Marie (10/18/00) and Nicholas Luke (10/17/01) Cafe Mom–Information, Humor and Inspiration For Moms, By Moms www.cafemom.net – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> But why would you want to have a baby of this age "used" to another > caretaker, unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary? And I humbly disagree, > because > my oldest daughter was still very clingy and she stayed with a babysitter > everyday while I worked. She still had a stronger need for the parent care > vs another caretaker. > Nique "Nique" > says… > > >JMHO, but I have a 7 month old, and I would never consider leaving her > with > > >another caretaker for and extended period of time at this age. This is > an > > >age where they naturally need their parents. They are still forming a > > >parent-child bond with you and learning to trust you completely. They > need > > >you right now. They are supposed to cling to you at the moment. > > >Nique > > In Megan’s case I agree. If a baby that age is used to a caretaker, > they > don’t > > show the anxiety. > > Banty
Response:
My son, now 15 months, never showed any separation anxiety at all, not at any age. Lucky us, I guess. What is wrong with a child being used to other people in his or her life unless that it demonstrates that Mom and Dad are not the only cat’s meow? Poor Mom and Dad. Stephanie
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> But why would you want to have a baby of this age "used" to another > caretaker, unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary? And I humbly disagree, because > my oldest daughter was still very clingy and she stayed with a babysitter > everyday while I worked. She still had a stronger need for the parent care > vs another caretaker. > Nique > says… > >JMHO, but I have a 7 month old, and I would never consider leaving her > with > >another caretaker for and extended period of time at this age. This is an > >age where they naturally need their parents. They are still forming a > >parent-child bond with you and learning to trust you completely. They > need > >you right now. They are supposed to cling to you at the moment. > >Nique > In Megan’s case I agree. If a baby that age is used to a caretaker, they > don’t > show the anxiety. > Banty
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more >and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite >trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc >several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them >hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes >before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is >happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to >know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in >2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m >also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. >Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I >thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to >leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would >love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. >Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? > My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, >and we would really benefit from some space. >Is there any hope for us? >Megan
The only hope now should lie with your baby who should hope, expect and have delivered a mom who will tend to her needs. She is too young to be left alone while you honeymoon, especially to be taken care of by strangers (hotel childcare) for three hours a day. She knows you are mommy and may not settle for anyone else (why torture her unnecessarily?) Take this as a compliment..you are obviously meeting her needs as she takes to you so well and only wants you. She will gradually go to other people as she gets older. My two girls were very clingy with me when they were infants. My dh would hold them for a few minutes but they would eventually reach out to me. I did my best to always be there for them and met all of their needs. Today, at ages 7 and 3, we have a very close relationship and they are able to be left alone with other adults, family members, babysitters etc with no problems and have since the age of 2. That trusting relationship with you will help forge trusting relationships with others. Your daughter does not need to "improve" or learn new "tricks". She needs her mom plain and simple. You need to work on establishing a trusting relationship for your daughter. Let her cling to you now, it won’t last forever. Wishing the three of you an enjoyable honeymoon. Susan
Response:
>I could have sworn I emphasized "unless it was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY" >Earning a living would fall into that category, however honeymoon would not. >Nique
Yeah – the honeymoon, being seemingly not beholden the usual timing, should be put off for awhile. Maybe to when the baby is 18 months? Cheers, Banty
Response:
Have you read many books or other literature about the problem? I have a book around here somewhere with some tips in, I’ll try to find it and maybe scan some pages for you, if you like? Also try http://babycenter.com and try doing a search for relevant articles, it’s a helpful site for first time parents.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more > and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite > trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc > several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them > hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes > before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is > happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to > know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in > 2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m > also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. > Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I > thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to > leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would > love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. > Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? > My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, > and we would really benefit from some space. > Is there any hope for us? > Megan
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more > and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite > trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc > several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them > hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes > before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is > happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to > know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in > 2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m > also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. > Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I > thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to > leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would > love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. > Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? > My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, > and we would really benefit from some space. > Is there any hope for us? > Megan
She’s in a developmental stage where it’s natural to be clingy. Dorothy has given you some good advice, and I’ll add that I think you’re still likely to have problems leaving her with a stranger at the hotel, if you can’t leave her with grandma, either. ~Nan~
Response:
>But why would you want to have a baby of this age "used" to another >caretaker, unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary? And I humbly disagree, because >my oldest daughter was still very clingy and she stayed with a babysitter >everyday while I worked. She still had a stronger need for the parent care >vs another caretaker. >Nique
Lessee, reasons like – earning a living? Cultural tradition? My son was clingly with me and folks he didn’t see regularly (like, everyday). But he was attached to my childcare provider, also, at that stage. Same goes for coworkers of mine who have grandparents living in the home with them. Banty
Response:
I could have sworn I emphasized "unless it was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY" Earning a living would fall into that category, however honeymoon would not. Nique
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – says… >But why would you want to have a baby of this age "used" to another >caretaker, unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary? And I humbly disagree, because >my oldest daughter was still very clingy and she stayed with a babysitter >everyday while I worked. She still had a stronger need for the parent care >vs another caretaker. >Nique > Lessee, reasons like – earning a living? Cultural tradition? > My son was clingly with me and folks he didn’t see regularly (like, everyday). > But he was attached to my childcare provider, also, at that stage. Same goes for > coworkers of mine who have grandparents living in the home with them. > Banty
Response:
But why would you want to have a baby of this age "used" to another caretaker, unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary? And I humbly disagree, because my oldest daughter was still very clingy and she stayed with a babysitter everyday while I worked. She still had a stronger need for the parent care vs another caretaker. Nique
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – says… >JMHO, but I have a 7 month old, and I would never consider leaving her with >another caretaker for and extended period of time at this age. This is an >age where they naturally need their parents. They are still forming a >parent-child bond with you and learning to trust you completely. They need >you right now. They are supposed to cling to you at the moment. >Nique > In Megan’s case I agree. If a baby that age is used to a caretaker, they don’t > show the anxiety. > Banty
Response:
JMHO, but I have a 7 month old, and I would never consider leaving her with another caretaker for and extended period of time at this age. This is an age where they naturally need their parents. They are still forming a parent-child bond with you and learning to trust you completely. They need you right now. They are supposed to cling to you at the moment. Nique
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more > and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite > trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc > several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them > hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes > before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is > happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to > know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in > 2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m > also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. > Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I > thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to > leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would > love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. > Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? > My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, > and we would really benefit from some space. > Is there any hope for us? > Megan
Response:
>JMHO, but I have a 7 month old, and I would never consider leaving her with >another caretaker for and extended period of time at this age. This is an >age where they naturally need their parents. They are still forming a >parent-child bond with you and learning to trust you completely. They need >you right now. They are supposed to cling to you at the moment. >Nique
In Megan’s case I agree. If a baby that age is used to a caretaker, they don’t show the anxiety. Banty
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more > and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite > trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc > several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them > hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes > before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is > happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to > know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in > 2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m > also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. > Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I > thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to > leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would > love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. > Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? > My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, > and we would really benefit from some space. > Is there any hope for us? > Megan
I completely understand your need from some time away from your baby. But, like Dorothy said, around 6 months is the time that babies start having separation anxiety and there isn’t a whole lot you can do about it…they just eventually grow out of it. I really don’t know what to tell you, except that if your baby can’t stay with Grandma because of her anxiety, I doubt you’ll be able to leave her with hotel childcare without a slew of problems either. Sherrie — Momma to Madison Marie (10/18/00) and Nicholas Luke (10/17/01) Cafe Mom–Information, Humor and Inspiration For Moms, By Moms www.cafemom.net
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more >and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite >trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc >several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them >hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes >before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is >happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to >know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in >2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m >also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. >Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I >thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to >leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would >love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. >Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? > My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, >and we would really benefit from some space. >Is there any hope for us? >Megan
Take the baby with you. You are without hope in trying to make a 6-m/o baby "less clingy" as you call it. Actually it’s the normal need of a baby!! If you need a honeymoon alone what in the fuck did you even get married for, you morons? and why did you EVER have a baby!!?? Steve
Response:
I have a very clingy 6 month old. Over the last month she has gotten more and more clingy. My husband is OK alone with her, but no one else, despite trying to ‘break her in’ by exposing her to grandparents, aunties etc several times a week with me, then trying to gradually get her to let them hold her. We have progressed to her being held by my mother for 5 minutes before she screams, and will tolerate my gym creche for 10 minutes… She is happy to play on the floor for ages with me in another room, but seems to know as soon as I leave the house. Heaps of people come around, and I am in 2 mum baby groups – she is continually exposed to other people while I’m also there, but she just appears to be the clingy type. Problem is we are going on our honeymoon in 6 weeks! Being my first baby, I thought it would be a lot easier than this and we originally planned to leave her with grandparents for a week. Now we are taking her, but would love to leave her with the hotel childcare for 3 hours a day. Is it possible to try and get her to improve? Are there any tricks? My husband and I have not even been able to go out to dinner without her, and we would really benefit from some space. Is there any hope for us? Megan
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