Question:
>Except when it’s an absolute financial necessity, why have kids if you >are going to let semi-strangers raise them? >Now, tell me where you or anyone else answers this directly.
Are you going to have a parent at home full-time until the children are all adults? It is my opinion that, in my family, if there are six years when having a parent home and around really matters the most, it is the late elementary and middle school years. I don’t understand parents who choose to have a parent at home until the kids are in school and then have two working parents. I didn’t say I don’t think they are good parents; I said I don’t understand it. That’s because my opinion about elementary school and middle school years leads me to believe that *that’s* when it really matters to have a parent at home. YMMV, of course. In our family, we figure we can manage one parent at home for about eight years. We think that those years should be later rather than sooner. Neither of us has a career that can be done part-time. So, small children spend some hours each day with non-parental caregivers (in our case, this happens to be family, so I’m not sure if you would call them semi-strangers or not). Later on, we will have one parent at home. And even later than that, we will be able to support ourselves during our retirement. If you don’t think that this answers your question, please explain why not. Marcy — Marcy Thompson
Response:
> It makes no sense to you that a mom might send her kid to daycare one or > two days a week because he gets a charge out of it and she gets some time > off?
Huh? I thought she meant the child is always in day care. If not, then it kinda makes sense to me. > Maybe it’s time for your wife to get a job and for you to stay home > with the kids full-time. It can be a pretty rugged life–rewarding but > exhausting. All the stay-at-home moms I know are always looking for > sitters that are available for half-days or full days, and my nanny has two > friends in town who work for stay-at-home moms. The "mothers’ day out" > program at a nearby church is also extremely popular.
My wife takes advantage of those things. My son is in nursery school three days a week. And you are right, it is hard work. — Don Sargent Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
> This wasn’t supposed to be a debate about this. As far as I know it > doesn’t matter who or how kids are raised as long as it’s good and > loving.
Then why do you keep bring up "semi-strangers" and daycare as raising our children? Karin, Mom to David (8/31/85) — Karin Dietterich Cruise of the Bells to Alaska in July, 1998!
Response:
> > Why do you equate the child spending part of their time in daycare as > "letting > someone else raise them"? > Does that mean you leave a note with the daycare providers saying, > "Please don’t raise my child, I’ll do that when I get home." > What in the world does raising a child mean to you?
Loving a child. Making the major decisions that impact that childs life. Respecting that child. Giving that child room to grow and the tools that he/she needs for life. Being there for that childs whole life (beyond 18), loving them, nurturing them and helping them when they ask for help. If a child spends > over half their waking hours with someone then over half their > experiences, life skills, learned personality, and so on comes from that > someone.
Don, the above sentence makes an assumption that is just plain wrong. My daughter spent the majority of her first three years of life with one caregiver (with input from several others) who, fortunately for me, has been one of my best friends since high school. My friend has been a toddler teacher for over ten years now and not once has a child mistaken her for their parent. She feels, as I do, that children know who their parents are and who their teachers are and there’s room in a childs life for both. I’m not saying it’s bad. Heck, it’s just fine. I’m just > saying when a parent can choose, why choose the part-time parenting > route?
Parents don’t stop being parents just because they’re at work. Parents don’t stop being parents just because you’re all grown up either. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > So, it still makes no sense to me. I think that’s all Bonnie and I were > > saying. Basically, you just answered our question by saying, > > "Because." I’m enlightened. > Then you’re not reading (or at least not understanding) what people are > trying > to say. > Here is my question again: > Except when it’s an absolute financial necessity, why have kids if you > are going to let semi-strangers raise them? > Now, tell me where you or anyone else answers this directly.
1. Because there’s more to a person’s life than their children. 2. Because there’s more to a person’s life than their parents. 3. Because (thought you might not feel this way) children need the exposure to outsiders. 4. Because social skills are important. 5. Because day care providers have spent years in college learning how to teach young children. 6. Because happier parents mean happier children. (In some cases, being SAH makes a happier parent, in others, it doesn’t.) 7. Because you remember your day care days fondly and you’d like your child to have the same wonderful memories. 8. Because 8 heads are better than one. (Parents and caregivers generally work as a team.) And those are just the ones off the top of my head… -Alexis – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> — > Don Sargent > Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in > Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
> > Yes, kids in day care are being ‘experienced’ by the day care provider. > The kids are also ‘experiencing’ them. I don’t understand your question. > What about you? The whole point of my question is what about your > experience with them? Shouldn’t one of the biggest reasons for having > kids be to enjoy them personally?
One thing I’ve noticed is that many parents get more enjoyment out of their kids at some ages than they do at others. My dad liked bouncing us on his knee, but didn’t have a clue what to do with us when we were too big to bounce but too young to discuss current events. I have a friend who says she wouldn’t mind marrying a man with school-age kids because she doesn’t click with babies and toddlers but really relates to gradeschoolers and teenagers. So some parents who send their kids to daycare may be intimidated about spending a lot of time with their toddler, rather than enjoying it. To answer your question directly, I would really enjoy "experiencing" my daughter 24/7 (or in her case, 12/7 since she’s asleep the rest of the time), and I could afford to, in the strict sense that we wouldn’t starve and would still have a roof over our heads if I didn’t work. But our current and future finances would take a huge hit, and my work is of a sort where it’s not easy to take time completely off and still stay marketable (though I have considerable leeway in how much I work, as long as I work some). My husband is utterly stressed at the idea of being the sole breadwinner. So taking one thing with another, we decided that the overall health of our family, both now and in the long term, would be best served by my working 32 hours a week (of which our daughter is asleep between 8 and 12). I miss her for that 20-24 hours, but I have her for the other 60+, and I still know her better than anyone else does. Does that answer your question?
Response:
> > Well, that’s the confusing part, you see. The larger debate should be > "Why do we have children?" Do we have them for the great experience? > If so, then why let someone else raise them? > Don, do you actually have any kids? Kids aren’t a 20-year movie to sit > and watch. You sound like, why rent a video-cassette if you’re not going > to watch it?
I do have kids, and yes they are a life-long (interactive) movie that you watch and enjoy. What do you think they are–a material possesion? A gift you’ve given to the world? Sheesh. > ‘Raising’ a child has many aspects to it, and I think those of us, > either gender, who choose to work while parenting are still raising > their own children. It’s the relationship that counts. It’s like saying, > so why get married if you don’t want to stay home with your spouse all > day?
Yes, I wish I could spend all my time with my wife AND kids. They are the best people I know. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I thoroughly enjoy my children, and being a mom. I also take my work > very seriously. My husband (who has workaholic tendencies 
) is > nevertheless an extremely attentive father, who looked after the kids > for four years while still managing a demanding career. > Most kids thrive on contact with lots of people, as long as they know > who the reliable anchors in their lives are. I managed to be a WAH mom > for several years… I was lucky to be with an org where this was > fine…and still sent my kid to daycare. Why? Because she loved it. She > had a ball. Started her at 2 days a week at 18 months, by the third week > she was complaining about the days she couldn’t go. Talked the school > into giving her 3 days a week. By 3 she was in a Montessori, half-day, 5 > days. At 3.5 she decided she was going into full day. I resisted. She > insisted. Eventually, I agreed to try it, and she liked it so much that > we kept on. (She was very disappointed when she went up to Kindergarten > at a Big School to find that they only had half days until 2nd grade!)
I never said it was bad for kids to be in day care. I was asking why do people have them and put them under someone else’s care when they don’t have to. Your daughter would have had just as much fun at home if you did daycare-like activities with her and a few playgroup friends…I think. > When they started school, they went to afterschool camp in the same > school. Some days I’ get off early and try to pick them up and take them > home…I think I succeeded once. Otherwise it was "Mom! You’re here!" > (pleased voice). Then, "Mom, I *can’t* go home just now. Can’t you wait? > Please? Pleease? Okay, Jessica, she’s going to wait, let’s go!"
That’s fine. My kids aren’t old enough to be that way yet so I don’t know how I’d feel about it. > A relative of mine is having the same experience. She’s at home, but the > baby goes to daycare because he loves it, and has learned a lot of > social skills.
Makes no sense to me. > Frankly, I think my kids would have hated having me there all the time. > I’d have been the worst kind of hovering mom. Also, small kids require a > lot of focused attention, and I certainly wasn’t capable of doing it for > 24 hours a day and staying mellow. This way, the kids have grown much > more confident, competent, and secure…and I’m a less crabby and > controlling mom than I would have been as a permanent SAH.
My kids are confident, competent, and secure. My wife and I don’t hover; we interact, and experience them. > I’m not suggesting that everyone’s experience would be identical. My mom > was SAH all her life, and it worked perfectly for her — and us. Though > she supported me in my career goals, she could never understand why I’d > deliberately *choose* to have a boss
Well, I hope to understand one day too. — Don Sargent Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
> > Do you really feel that a child who is taken care of by either a nanny or > day care during the day is being ‘raised’ by that caretaker? If you do, I > think you’re sorely mistaken. > Since "raising" is such a contentious word, I think I should say > "experienced". Please search and replace this in all my posts. :) > Once again, there is nothing wrong with daycare as far as I know.
Merely semantics at this point, Don. > But let me say this, the same folks who gladly leave their kids with > semi-strangers would never let the same people drive their new car. > It’s hard to understand, but I’m trying.
But you’ve already admitted that you and your wife let semi-strangers experience your son 3 days a week. Now I’m completely confused as to where you’re coming from? Is it financially necessary for you to put your son in daycare/nursery school? If not, then why do it? Karin, Mom to David (8/31/85) — Karin Dietterich Cruise of the Bells to Alaska in July, 1998!
Response:
> I never said it was bad for kids to be in day care. I was asking why do > people have them and put them under someone else’s care when they don’t > have to. Your daughter would have had just as much fun at home if you > did daycare-like activities with her and a few playgroup friends…I > think.
Perhaps in your household that is true. That is not true for everyone. Different people (both adults and children) have different skills. Doing daycare-like activities and playgroup is not one of my skills. So, why not pay the professionals to do what they are skilled at doing and which my son loves, and give myself a very needed break? If I had attempted to do "daycare at home", I don’t think it would have been a very pretty picture. > A relative of mine is having the same experience. She’s at home, but the > baby goes to daycare because he loves it, and has learned a lot of > social skills. > Makes no sense to me.
What makes no sense? That the baby loves daycare? or that the woman stays at home, but puts the baby in daycare anyway? It sounds like both of them benefit from the time spent in daycare. The baby loves it and is learning social skills. The mom gets a break, which I’m sure she enjoys. Karin, Mom to David (8/31/85) — Karin Dietterich Cruise of the Bells to Alaska in July, 1998!
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Don, do you work? How much time do you spend with > your children? > I work a typical computer geek job. Regular hours with occasional > overtime. No jive here when I say I spend about four hours a day with > my kids during the week and usually all of their waking hours with at > least one of them on weekends. > Too often, I see men with stay at home wives work long hours, > rarely spend much time with their children. > I don’t, but sometimes it’s tempting. I know lots of guys who do this > though. > — > Don Sargent > Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in > Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Just a question … would you sacrifice your career to stay at home with your child? Or would you figure out a way to do both if you had to?
Response:
> Do you really feel that a child who is taken care of by either a nanny or > day care during the day is being ‘raised’ by that caretaker? If you do, I > think you’re sorely mistaken.
Since "raising" is such a contentious word, I think I should say "experienced". Please search and replace this in all my posts. :) Once again, there is nothing wrong with daycare as far as I know. But let me say this, the same folks who gladly leave their kids with semi-strangers would never let the same people drive their new car. It’s hard to understand, but I’m trying. — Don Sargent Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
> I’m past the stage of daycare given that my son is in sixth grade. > However, he did attend daycare as a toddler. > No matter what you may think, parents whose children spend some time > (a little or a lot) in daycare still raise their children.
This wasn’t supposed to turn into a debate about how much influence daycare has in raising kids. I really don’t care for an answer about that. Let me rephrase my original question: Why have kids if you are going to let semi-strangers experience them? Put another way, If you don’t have to be away from them, especially when they are very young, then why do it? — Don Sargent Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Let’s see if I can explain this. I am a human being. There are many > facets to > being me. One of those facets is being a mom to my son. It is one of the > most > important facets in my life, but it isn’t the only one. If I don’t nurture > ALL of me, > I wouldn’t be a very good mom. > Some of the other facets in my life are: engineer, friend, lover, > musician, > church member, chief cook and bottle washer, laundress, house maintainer, > dog caretaker, etc. > I wanted very much to be a mother. It is not the be-all and end-all of my > existence. > Bonnie and I were only asking why have them only to let others raise > them. I don’t see an answer here. All you are doing is explaining why > you don’t want to spend a lot of time raising them.
Again, when a child is in day care, the day care provider does not ‘raise’ the children. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> It is possible to be a good parent and still work outside of the home. Why > is > that so hard to understand? > Once again, that wasn’t the question. Of course "good" parents don’t > have to be home very much. > And bad parents are sometimes home all the time. > — > Don Sargent > Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in > Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
> Why do people always pose this question as "why do women…"???
Just for the record I didn’t say this. My question was: Except when it’s an absolute financial necessity, why have kids if you are going to let semi-strangers raise them? It doesn’t matter which parent stays home. — Don Sargent Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
> > Maybe because they don’t equate "wanting to be a mother" and "wanting > to look after a child 24 hrs per day". > Well, that’s the confusing part, you see. The larger debate should be > "Why do we have children?" Do we have them for the great experience? > If so, then why let someone else raise them? Do we have them because we > want our superior genes to continue on, or to fulfill some sort of > "requirement" in our lives? Well, in that case I agree, why not let > someone else raise them? Just conceiving and bearing them is enough.
Do you really feel that a child who is taken care of by either a nanny or day care during the day is being ‘raised’ by that caretaker? If you do, I think you’re sorely mistaken. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Do you think fathers all go > to work (regardless of financial reasons) because they "regret the > decision to have children"? > It doesn’t matter who stays home. >And quite aside from what the parents > want out of life, I get tired of hearing that parents (read women) > who use daycare should put the children first and stay at home. > Not everyone believes that it is either necessary or desirable for > children to have mummy hovering over them constantly. > So, it still makes no sense to me. I think that’s all Bonnie and I were > saying. Basically, you just answered our question by saying, > "Because." I’m enlightened.
It makes no sense to you because you have a skewed perception of what day care is and how day care affects a child. -Alexis – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> — > Don Sargent > Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in > Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
Why do people always pose this question as "why do women…"??? When a two-parent family has a child, then the two parents have a joint decision to make regarding how the baby will be cared for. Why doesn’t anyone say "why do men go to all the trouble to have a baby and then put it in daycare?"? The decision to use outside childcare is a joint one between husband and wife. The decision to have one parent stay home is a joint one between husband and wife. I believe that most parents do the best they can for their children. And I also believe that when both parents work, that’s a decision which belongs to both parents, and it’s time we started holding men just as accountable for the good and bad results of these choices as we hold women. Last week, Ted Koppel did a show about the nanny trial. His spin on it was about the issues surrounding working mothers. At no time in the show did *any*one say "Sunil Eappen knew his wife had a career which mattered to her. Was he right to have these two boys when he knew he wasn’t going to stay home with them?" (Not that this is the right question, but this is an illustration of how when families make decisions about childcare, too many people act like it’s a unilateral decision on the part of the wife.) I am not making any judgement about the choices made by any parents. (At least not in this post.) What I am asking is that people recognize that these decisions belong to *both* parents. And that there are more choices than the mother stays home vs. the kid is in daycare 70 hours a week with strangers. Marcy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I really do have to agree here. I do not try to be rude. I do not think I >am better than anyone else, working mother or what have you… But I >*honestly* do not understand why women do everything they can to get >pregnant and etc, then put the child in day care because of many reasons >not including financial. Didn’t they want to be the mother? Did the regret >the decision to have children? >I really wonder and ask the same question, Don, and I would really like a >real, honest, fair, unselfish answer, maybe someone out there has one? >Again, I am not bashing anyone, I am simply trying to understand something >that has always confused me! >Bunnie (mother to Meranda5, Alyssa5, Kevin(almost)8) > Every time I see this kind of discussion, this question comes to mind: > Except when it’s an absolute financial necessity, why have kids if you > are going to let semi-strangers raise them? > And no, I don’t think paying for two new cars, premium cable, cell > phones, or a more than adequate home qualifies as a financial > necessity. > — > Don Sargent > Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in > Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
– Marcy Thompson
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Let’s see if I can explain this. I am a human being. There are many > facets to > being me. One of those facets is being a mom to my son. It is one of the > most > important facets in my life, but it isn’t the only one. If I don’t nurture > ALL of me, > I wouldn’t be a very good mom. > Some of the other facets in my life are: engineer, friend, lover, > musician, > church member, chief cook and bottle washer, laundress, house maintainer, > dog caretaker, etc. > I wanted very much to be a mother. It is not the be-all and end-all of my > existence. > Bonnie and I were only asking why have them only to let others raise > them. I don’t see an answer here. All you are doing is explaining why > you don’t want to spend a lot of time raising them.
I’m not letting others raise my son. Where do you get that from? Simply because I work outside of the home? I had a child because I wanted very much to be a parent. I don’t spend 24×7 raising my son. He does attend school. I don’t attend with him. I never said anything about "not wanting to spend a lot of time raising them". I said that there are more things to my life than just raising my son. I do raise my son. I also do a lot of other things with my life. > It is possible to be a good parent and still work outside of the home. Why > is > that so hard to understand? > Once again, that wasn’t the question. Of course "good" parents don’t > have to be home very much. > And bad parents are sometimes home all the time.
If that wasn’t the question, then what was the question? Karin, Mom to David (8/31/85) — Karin Dietterich Cruise of the Bells to Alaska in July, 1998!
Response:
> > Maybe because they don’t equate "wanting to be a mother" and "wanting > to look after a child 24 hrs per day". > Well, that’s the confusing part, you see. The larger debate should be > "Why do we have children?" Do we have them for the great experience? > If so, then why let someone else raise them? Do we have them because we > want our superior genes to continue on, or to fulfill some sort of > "requirement" in our lives? Well, in that case I agree, why not let > someone else raise them? Just conceiving and bearing them is enough.
Don, do you work? How much time do you spend with your children? Too often, I see men with stay at home wives work long hours, rarely spend much time with their children. While I see lots of two working parents make adjustment of their schedules so that both of them can spend a reasonable amount of time with their children. Mother is not a replacement to father. Children need to be with both parents. Julia
Response:
> Don, do you work? How much time do you spend with > your children?
I work a typical computer geek job. Regular hours with occasional overtime. No jive here when I say I spend about four hours a day with my kids during the week and usually all of their waking hours with at least one of them on weekends. > Too often, I see men with stay at home wives work long hours, > rarely spend much time with their children.
I don’t, but sometimes it’s tempting. I know lots of guys who do this though. — Don Sargent Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
> Every time I see this kind of discussion, this question comes to mind: > Except when it’s an absolute financial necessity, why have kids if you > are going to let semi-strangers raise them?
So, Don, do you have children? Do you stay at home with them? Why not? Why father children if you’re going to let semi-strangers raise them? Someone has to work! Whether it is the father or the mother or both, someone has to bring home a pay check so that the bills can get paid. Karin, Mom to David (8/31/85) — Karin Dietterich Cruise of the Bells to Alaska in July, 1998!
Response:
I really do have to agree here. I do not try to be rude. I do not think I am better than anyone else, working mother or what have you… But I *honestly* do not understand why women do everything they can to get pregnant and etc, then put the child in day care because of many reasons not including financial. Didn’t they want to be the mother? Did the regret the decision to have children? I really wonder and ask the same question, Don, and I would really like a real, honest, fair, unselfish answer, maybe someone out there has one? Again, I am not bashing anyone, I am simply trying to understand something that has always confused me! Bunnie (mother to Meranda5, Alyssa5, Kevin(almost)8) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Every time I see this kind of discussion, this question comes to mind: > Except when it’s an absolute financial necessity, why have kids if you > are going to let semi-strangers raise them? > And no, I don’t think paying for two new cars, premium cable, cell > phones, or a more than adequate home qualifies as a financial > necessity. > — > Don Sargent > Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in > Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
Every time I see this kind of discussion, this question comes to mind: Except when it’s an absolute financial necessity, why have kids if you are going to let semi-strangers raise them? And no, I don’t think paying for two new cars, premium cable, cell phones, or a more than adequate home qualifies as a financial necessity. — Don Sargent Template Software, Inc. "I might only get three strikes in Dulles, Virginia life, but I can hit foul indefinitely."
Response:
> What you might do is be profoundly grateful that you have the luxury of > staying home, and stop whining about self-esteem issues. We who are > single mothers have no choice but to work. I would much rather stay > home, but somehow, the mortgage won’t get paid and we won’t eat if I do > that.
Being a single mom is different when it comes to a choice of being a WOH or SAH mom. You have no choice. But I do agree with Sandi Matthews where the choice is concerned. If you are lucky enough to have that choice, it depends on your personal needs and/or wants. Melissa Mom to Alexandria, 6-19-95
Response:
This is a multi-part message in MIME format. Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Just one thing to say, Just as there are some who feel they must work in order to feel self worth, I wish it would be easy for others to understand that there are some of us who actaully enjoy being at home, and doing the school things, and such, who dont NEED an outside job to make us what we are,, this seems to be the hardest thing to get across,, we are all different, and someone has to be there for the school things and to volunteer for field trips and I would much rather have it be someone who WANTS to be there and enjoys it, then someone who really wishes she were elsewhere in a REAL job. It doesnt mean she loves her children any less then the field trip mom, but needs something different in her life. I will be willing to accept that you NEED to have outside Job to be FULLFILLED as long as you can accept that I can be Fullfilled and have SELF worth even if I dont have a REAL job. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > HJ, > It seems that you and some others in this newsgroup refuse to see the > point > of why some people work. Not every parent HAS to work for the money. > Some, > myself included, do it because we are suited for the job we are in AND > we > don’t think our children are being harmed by being in day care. I > admire > you and others that stay home with their children, but I couldn’t do > it. > Some have said, in this newsgroup, that I should not have had children > because I still want to work. If any of them had met me and my > children, I > don’t think they would have thought so. My children know who in the > world > loves them the most, and it’s me. > Please just TRY to comprehend my position, even though you would not > do it > yourself. > (I took the liberty of adding the bracketed text to the subject so > that > those who wish to filter out the sah/woh threads can do so.) > Angie Creed
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Response:
I said, in the post that Sandi responded to, that I admire parents who want to stay at home with their kids. Therefore, I think we’re all saying the same thing. A parent should do what is correct for their situation. Yay!
(snip) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I love >staying home with her and dont miss work. Someday I would like to >work part-time. (snip) > I will be willing to accept that you NEED to have outside Job to be > FULLFILLED as long as you can accept that I can be Fullfilled and have > SELF worth even if I dont have a REAL job.
Response:
HJ, It seems that you and some others in this newsgroup refuse to see the point of why some people work. Not every parent HAS to work for the money. Some, myself included, do it because we are suited for the job we are in AND we don’t think our children are being harmed by being in day care. I admire you and others that stay home with their children, but I couldn’t do it. Some have said, in this newsgroup, that I should not have had children because I still want to work. If any of them had met me and my children, I don’t think they would have thought so. My children know who in the world loves them the most, and it’s me. Please just TRY to comprehend my position, even though you would not do it yourself. (I took the liberty of adding the bracketed text to the subject so that those who wish to filter out the sah/woh threads can do so.) Angie Creed – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Sorry you missed the original post. I was not saying that parents are >selfish because they work. Some families NEED two incomes – but many do >not. I was using a word used in a previous post describing children as >selfish and their need for attention egocentric. I said that if one chose >to work instead of spend time with their child then that was selfish. >Those parents who do work but are available before and after school (and >other times the child is at home) at least realize the importance and >significance of their availability to their children. Those who put their >children in childcare unnecessarily so the parent can "have fun" at work >are doing a disservice to their child and passing their parental >responsibilities to strangers. >Don’t you get feelings of self-worth knowing that you are doing your best >to raise a happy, healthy child? Self-worth comes from within. Don’t you >think that parenting is a "worthy" effort? >Yes, my husband is waiting to win the lottery too so he can stay at home >with us! And he also flies satellites and loves it! >Heidi
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