Pure Parents

Question:

I am posting this sad news to the group just in case some of you have the same crib/playpen.  Two days ago an 18-month old Manassas, Virginia boy died trapped inside a crib/playpen.  Police said that he died from asphyxiation from pressure on his neck when the sides of the playpen dropped and folded into a V around the boy’s head and neck as he was sleeping.  As reported in The Fairfax Journal Newspaper, police described the crib as a Century brand Zoo Friends Fold’N'Go Travel Yard, Model 10-710ZFF, manufactured in February 1995.  The playpen has not been recalled by the manufacturer, but the accident has prompted an investigation from the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Margaret

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Kristina, >         According to many child care books, family bed can be safe.  In Dr. > Sears book "THE BABY BOOK" he lists sharing sleep with your baby as a way to > lower the risk of SIDS.  My two month old daughter has slept in our bed since > the day she was brought home from the hospital.  WE have NEVER rolled on her. > Yes, we go to bed the same time she does.  She naps in her crib, btw and if she > does go to bed before us, she is in her crib until we go to bed.  (We don’t > disturb her until her next feeding.)  Maybe some of the reason she is in our > bed is for my convenience, but I sleep better if I do not have to wake up 100% > four times a night.  What good would I be to my baby if I was too tired to care > for her? >         As for the diaper changing thing.  I change her diaper around 11:00 pm > when we go to bed for the night, and I change it again at the 4 am feeding. > She sometimes nurses every 1.5 hrs while she is building up my milk supply for > a growth spurt, I don’t think she needs to be changed every 1.5 hours.  Call me > a bad mom if you want, but you should realize that every parent has a different > parenting style and this is mine.  My children are safe, clean, fed and clothed > and most importantly, LOVED! > Andrea > (Mom to Derrek 6/7/89 and Heather 8/16/96)

I would NEVER say that you or anyone else is a "bad" parent for having their babies in bed with them. I agree with you that all parents do things differently and do what they feel comfortable with. I must say that I have read Dr. Sears book and that it is just a little too different for me. I personally believe that babies should be around the family and interacting however I dont agree with the baby being carried with Mom all day or with children sleeping in bed. In your case I would ask why if she is willing to sleep in her crib, do you purposely take her out into your bed? When I nursed Aidyn at night I was NEVER fully awake. I think I was a very well rested, well adjusted Mommy in those early weeks. I had read somewhere that because parents are always at a semi-alert state when baby is in their bed that they still are not really getting adequate rest because they arent *really* sleeping. Also, first and foremost I am a woman and how are my needs for intimacy going to be met when my child is in our bed? I suppose you can always be creative;), but sometimes its nice to be spontaneous. I COMPLETELY advocate family time in Mom and Dads bed in the morning for talking and laughing, but personally I would not chose to have a baby in my bed through the night. Like you said, different strokes for different folks! -Kristina

Response:

Kristina,         According to many child care books, family bed can be safe.  In Dr. Sears book "THE BABY BOOK" he lists sharing sleep with your baby as a way to lower the risk of SIDS.  My two month old daughter has slept in our bed since the day she was brought home from the hospital.  WE have NEVER rolled on her. Yes, we go to bed the same time she does.  She naps in her crib, btw and if she does go to bed before us, she is in her crib until we go to bed.  (We don’t disturb her until her next feeding.)  Maybe some of the reason she is in our bed is for my convenience, but I sleep better if I do not have to wake up 100% four times a night.  What good would I be to my baby if I was too tired to care for her?         As for the diaper changing thing.  I change her diaper around 11:00 pm when we go to bed for the night, and I change it again at the 4 am feeding. She sometimes nurses every 1.5 hrs while she is building up my milk supply for a growth spurt, I don’t think she needs to be changed every 1.5 hours.  Call me a bad mom if you want, but you should realize that every parent has a different parenting style and this is mine.  My children are safe, clean, fed and clothed and most importantly, LOVED! Andrea (Mom to Derrek 6/7/89 and Heather 8/16/96)

Response: