Question:
Kristina, Theres lotsa room in the house, why use the bed?? ;-} – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Kerrie: >Not to get personal but how do you and your husband have sex? You >obviously dont do it while your child is in bed with you. >This is my concern with family bed, as well as safety for an infant. >Kristina
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family bed info: http://home.earthlink.net/~leedlelop/Annespage.htm
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> Kerrie: > Not to get personal but how do you and your husband have sex? You > obviously dont do it while your child is in bed with you. > This is my concern with family bed, as well as safety for an infant. > Kristina
Sex doesn’t have to take place in bed, or at night. As for safety for the infant, there are some very compelling studies which claim that co-sleeping with the mother might be safer for the infant than sleeping in a seperate room. Apparently co-sleeping helps regulate the baby’s breathing and heart-beat, providing some protection against SIDS. No, I don’t have the studies available, but anyone interested might chose to look in Dr. William Sears’ book (I believe the title is A Parent’s Guide to Understanding and Preventing SIDS) Phan– mom to Keith (12-93) and Jack (due 2-98)
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> Kerrie: > Not to get personal but how do you and your husband have sex? You > obviously dont do it while your child is in bed with you. > This is my concern with family bed, as well as safety for an infant. > Kristina
When our babies were small we did it with them right there, asleep. When they got a few months old we had a mattress on the floor in the baby’s room. We went there and left the baby on our bed with a pillow beside it to keep it from moving. At about 12 months we started putting them to bed on the mattress in their room. During the night they would wake up and join us, so we made love before then. Now they are both in their own bed. Petra in Tacoma, WA
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> . I am interested in hearing of any > >>experiences, pro & con, of the family bed.Snip>>>>>! > Our daughter is 2 also and has been sleeping with us from early on. > It has just really worked well for us. Snip>>>>> but I am curious about the > situation with families with older children. How old are your kids? > Do they still sleep with you or in their own rooms? How did things > change (if they have)? Thanks! > Jennifer, Katelyn’s mom >Our two are ten and seventeen. They both slept with us since birth, my >eldest started to sleep separately when she was about twelve, but from >>(snip) >No hassles, or problems as far as we are concerned. We have always >sought out private time during the day, so we have never felt >particularly deprived but blessed for full nights sleep!! >Rayner
Just had to comment on this. . . I have three sons who have slept with my husband and myself from birth, also. The eldest never visits our bed any more. He is 16 now and stop visiting our bed at about 12 yrs. My 12 year old still visits once in a while, but this is steadily decreasing in frequency. My 8 year old still enjoys sleeping with mom and dad, but sleeps in his bed probably 2 nights a week. My younger sister and I slept with my parents until we were 13 and 15. I do not sleep in their bed any more (smile). In our home we kind of bed hop, landing where ever one is comfortable. My husband and I also find private time, and enjoy blissful sleep during the night. I know there will come a time (very soon) when I will sadly miss those little ones, with sleeping faces like angels, snuggling up close and drifting peacefully off to sleep. gin
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> . I am interested in hearing of any >>experiences, pro & con, of the family bed.Snip>>>>>! > Our daughter is 2 also and has been sleeping with us from early on. > It has just really worked well for us. Snip>>>>> but I am curious about the > situation with families with older children. How old are your kids? > Do they still sleep with you or in their own rooms? How did things > change (if they have)? Thanks! > Jennifer, Katelyn’s mom
Our two are ten and seventeen. They both slept with us since birth, my eldest started to sleep separately when she was about twelve, but from time to time would come back and sleep with her mother and younger sister. I sleep in another bed as I have never been comfortable sleeping with others, and they are just to mobile, and large for me. I feel somewhat vunerable to being kicked in the night! Our ten year old wanted her own room, and now she has one but still prefers to sleep with her mother. Our eldest sleeps in her own room but sometimes on very cold nights wants to cuddle up for extra warmth, and will sleep with mum, and sis! No hassles, or problems as far as we are concerned. We have always sought out private time during the day, so we have never felt particularly deprived but blessed for full nights sleep!! Rayner
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. I am interested in hearing of any >experiences, pro & con, of the family bed. I have talked to him >about getting a big boy bed and putting it in his own room and he >does express some interest in that but I know that right now he >ends up in our bed for at least half of the night and can’t see that >changing just because he has a new bed. I know if we go through >a lot of middle of the night battles we can keep him in his own bed >but I don’t know if it is worth it at this point, since his sleeping >with us is acceptable to both of us. Any info on web pages that >address this subject, or personal experiences would be very >much appreciated. I am very new to this group and apologize if >this subject has been covered recently. Thanks!
Our daughter is 2 also and has been sleeping with us from early on. It has just really worked well for us. I have had some people tell me that we should be putting her in her own bed soon "or it will be too late." I’m not sure what it will be too late for, but I get the general jist. I read in another post "when will it stop?" Meaning, I think, that if you have the kids sleep with you, when will you be able to break the habit. I’m actually interested in this, myself. We have no plans to transition or "wean" Katelyn to her own bed (even though she’s had one since she was born), but I am curious about the situation with families with older children. How old are your kids? Do they still sleep with you or in their own rooms? How did things change (if they have)? Thanks! Jennifer, Katelyn’s mom – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
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We tried the family bed thing. I just couldn’t sleep unless baby (either one) was right next to me so I could hear him or her breath. It was also a lot easer to get enough sleep if I didn’t have to wake up too much while breast feeding. Around 9 months old, my son became so unpleasant to sleep with that we put him in a crib in his own room. We didn’t get to that point until we rutinely woke up to find him litterally trying to push both of us out of bed. We are still sleeping with my daughter, but not for long. She just squirms too much. It keeps both DH and I awake. She also seems more comfortable when we put her in the crib. Also, now that she rolls and is getting ready to crawl, I worry about her falling out. FWIW Cris, Mom to Nicky (3 yo) and Kate (5 mo) Patchwork quilts: http://members.aol.com/CBGEnt/patchwork.html – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >My son was on an apnea moniter for quite a while after birth, so >his crib was in our room. He is now 2 and is still in our room. This >is not a problem to us as far as private time, etc., but it is now >past time to take the crib down. I am interested in hearing of any >experiences, pro & con, of the family bed. I have talked to him >about getting a big boy bed and putting it in his own room and he >does express some interest in that but I know that right now he >ends up in our bed for at least half of the night and can’t see that >changing just because he has a new bed. I know if we go through >a lot of middle of the night battles we can keep him in his own bed >but I don’t know if it is worth it at this point, since his sleeping >with us is acceptable to both of us. Any info on web pages that >address this subject, or personal experiences would be very >much appreciated. I am very new to this group and apologize if >this subject has been covered recently. Thanks!
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>Our son falls asleep in our bed, and whichever parent goes to bed last puts >him in his bed. Sometimes he comes back in the middle of the night, leaving >a >trail of lights on behind him! As he gets older (3 1/2 now) he spends most >nights in his own bed but knows that he can come into ours if necessary. >Do whatever you and your partner feel is right. Our arrangement works for us
I also have a 3 1/2 year old with the same type of sleeping arrangements. It works really well for us too. Linda
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HI! Our site has a neat page with the history of family beds you might be interested in. It also has some great links to other pages of family bed information! We have two in our bed, 2 yrs and 7 mos and wouldn’t have it any other way! Anne:O) COME VISIT THE FUNKY FAMILY WEBSITE! Breastfeeding, Family Bed, Attachment Parenting, Elmo, Toddler pages, Pooh, Baby Pages, Hunting Stuff for Dad, and much much more! http://home.earthlink.net/~leedlelop Bring a mug of cocoa or java and enjoy your visit!
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Hi Kelly, I personally don’t have any experience with family bed issues, but just my opinion I would let your feeling on this one be your guide. Get your son the big boy bed – let him pick his sheets, etc. if possible. Then try to get him to go to sleep in his own bed but don’t make a battle of it. I will bet that some nights he will sleep all night in his own bed and other nights you will have a "visitor" in the middle of the night. As time goes on I bet he will prefer his own spot. Good luck. — – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My son was on an apnea moniter for quite a while after birth, so > his crib was in our room. He is now 2 and is still in our room. This > is not a problem to us as far as private time, etc., but it is now > past time to take the crib down. I am interested in hearing of any > experiences, pro & con, of the family bed. I have talked to him > about getting a big boy bed and putting it in his own room and he > does express some interest in that but I know that right now he > ends up in our bed for at least half of the night and can’t see that > changing just because he has a new bed. I know if we go through > a lot of middle of the night battles we can keep him in his own bed > but I don’t know if it is worth it at this point, since his sleeping > with us is acceptable to both of us. Any info on web pages that > address this subject, or personal experiences would be very > much appreciated. I am very new to this group and apologize if > this subject has been covered recently. Thanks!
Response:
My son was on an apnea moniter for quite a while after birth, so his crib was in our room. He is now 2 and is still in our room. This is not a problem to us as far as private time, etc., but it is now past time to take the crib down. I am interested in hearing of any experiences, pro & con, of the family bed. I have talked to him about getting a big boy bed and putting it in his own room and he does express some interest in that but I know that right now he ends up in our bed for at least half of the night and can’t see that changing just because he has a new bed. I know if we go through a lot of middle of the night battles we can keep him in his own bed but I don’t know if it is worth it at this point, since his sleeping with us is acceptable to both of us. Any info on web pages that address this subject, or personal experiences would be very much appreciated. I am very new to this group and apologize if this subject has been covered recently. Thanks!
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Jennette..My only suggestions are: do it slowly, start making a fuss about his room, take a special say and buy him the bed, let him pick his own sheets, bedding, comforter etc….involve him in it..Practice reward and not punishment, if he jumps back in with you..At first, I would tell my daughter that if she could make it through the night, she could crawl in wiht us in the morning, she would get a special treat, and we would be very proud…IT took awhile, but she is very INDEPENDENT now!, and has never needed a blankie, soother etc…CHeers to you, usually there is alot of pressure form family who think this practice is abnormal, as mine did..C. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Our son is 22 months old and has been sleeping in our bed since day 1!!! My > husband is fine with this. I am starting to feel that the bed is too crowded, > and I don’t have any time to myself…heck, i can’t even sleep without my son > running his fingers through my hair. What do you suggest I do to get him into > his own room?? > Jennette
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thanks for all the great advice i will let you all know how it goes!!!!! wish me luck!
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Our son is 22 months old and has been sleeping in our bed since day 1!!! My husband is fine with this. I am starting to feel that the bed is too crowded, and I don’t have any time to myself…heck, i can’t even sleep without my son running his fingers through my hair. What do you suggest I do to get him into his own room?? Jennette
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Tess is 28 months old and just started sleeping in her own room this week. It’s funny that you said your dh is fine w/ him in your bed. Everyone felt sorry for my dh and the fact that we were never alone in our bed (like there aren’t other rooms we can be alone in.) but the truth was that HE was the one that wanted her in our room! I weaned her from bf at 23 months and she started sleeping all night. Then after she would go to sleep I would move her into a toddler size bed next to ours. After a couple of weeks, she didn’t want in our bed anymore. It seems that she felt it was crowded too. Anyway, we bought a bed from a 2nd hand store and while we were refinishing it we told her it was "her" new bed and she was excited. We bought Barbie sheets for it and set it up with the plan that I would start naps in it to get her used to waking up in that room. That night at bedtime we took a bath, brushed her teeth and kissed Daddy goodnight (he was on the phone). When we went into our room where the toddler bed was she started crying and said she wanted her "big girl bed". I took her in there, tucked her in and sat on the edge of her bed until she went to sleep. (about 7 or 8 minutes). I forgot to tell my dh though and when he walked down the hall he was upset and said "I thought we were going to gradually work into her sleeping in her own room!" Believe me-she handled it better than we did. I loved telling his mother that he was not thrilled with her being "all the way across the hall". She thought I was being overprotective to the detriment of her son. It’s been 4 nights and has worked out fine. We are all getting used to her being in her own room. She woke up about 6:00 for a few days to come in our room but didn’t this morning. Good luck. Julie-Mommy to Tess *Those who say "Motherhood is a thankless job" should be pitied. They are missing the whole point.*
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> That night at bedtime we took a bath, brushed her teeth and kissed Daddy > goodnight (he was on the phone). When we went into our room where the toddler > bed was she started crying and said she wanted her "big girl bed". I took her > in there, tucked her in and sat on the edge of her bed until she went to sleep. > (about 7 or 8 minutes). I forgot to tell my dh though and when he walked down > the hall he was upset and said "I thought we were going to gradually work into > her sleeping in her own room!"
This is just so sweet! Thank you for posting it for all of us to share. Susan
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