Pure Parents

Question:

> Hamilton said:  >Steve has put it all crudely but he is basically right > I agree.  Obviously your dad is a jerk, and it would have been *nice* if > he’d given you some money but he doesn’t *have* to.  I agree also with the > other poster who mentioned how you couldn’t afford the $11 for the stove. > How much is your internet connection? If I had to choose between the stupid > computer or stove to feed my family I know which one I’d give up. > Priorities – time to learn the difference between needs and wants. > Later, Sophie

My computer was a gift several years ago and the internet comes from my friend who works for this company.  I pay nothing. Kim

Response:

Sarah said:  >If you can’t turn >to your family in times of need and crisis, who the fuck can you turn to? I >was raised that you take care of your own.

I totally agree BUT it’s obvious Kim’s Dad was never that way and will never be that way.  It just seems like it’s time she realize that *and* get over it.  To me it sounds like she expects her Dad to help, while he shouldn’t HAVE to but he should WANT to.  It stinks that it sounds like the rest of her family is pretty crappy too, that they won’t even help a little either. Later, Sophie

Response:

First of all, I don’t think that was *our* Steve writing…he has better puncuation than that…*S* Secondly, I agree with you.  And it is a two-way street in my life. There have been a few times since I left home, when I have asked my folks to help me out of a financial scrap or two (but like you said, I keep it rare and only when it is a crisis). When I left my first husband, I went home to Mommy.  I won’t ever appologize for it, nor consider it something that I *should* have planned for.  After he died, my parents were invaluable to me and our son to help me get back on my feet. And on the flip side, my old Pops has a weak ticker and has been in for surgery and heartattacks on a couple of occasions.  I take care of my Mom, drive her where she needs to go, lent them money when they were short. Heck, I even *employed* my Pops as a consultant when DH and I started our own company. While I agree that better money management and stuff like that is certainly important, I don’t think that addresses Kim’s real point.  If you can’t turn to your family in times of need and crisis, who the fuck can you turn to?  I was raised that you take care of your own. Sarah – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > IMO, Parenting does not end when your child turns eighteen.  Maybe this is > just my perspective because of the way I have been raised and the family > ties that I have.  My mother and father have always been there and continue > to be there for us whenever we need them.  However, I was also raised to > learn the value of money, and a strong work ethic, so I do not ask them for > very much very often.  I feel the same way about my children.  They are my > children and my responsibility until the day that they bury me.  Parenting > for me does not end when my kids get married or turn eighteen. > JMHO > Nique > kim.. > your father has done his job.. he raised you.  you are an adult woman now, > who found an adult man to wed.  together you have brought a kid into this > world… > your child is YOUR responsibility..  not your father’s, not anyone else’s. > maybe your dad didn’t do such a great job raising you, now that i think > about it.. maybe now he’s trying to teach you one final lesson. > you are not a child anymore.   please stop acting like one.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > > A few people here seem to base filial affection directly on cash. > > If my father cant give me $100.00 out of his million to put a diaper on > > my kid and keep my oven and you cant understand than you are just as > > much of a jerk as he is. > > Kim > > > > Elaine doesn’t understand the concept of family or much else for > that > > > > matter. > > > > Sarah > > > > > If her own father can’t give $11.25 for the stove payment and > maybe > > > > another > > > > > $25 for diapers a few groceries than I agree that "fuck" is a > pretty > > > > apropo > > > > > term for him. > message > > > > > > So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash? > Kim…you > > > > > have > > > > > > some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of > them. > > > > > > > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a > better > > > > > > > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that > this > > > > must > > > > > > > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out > pretty > > > > well. > > > > > > > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate > enough > to > > > > call > > > > > > > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly > what > > > I > > > > > > > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous > and > I > > > told > > > > > > > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids > needed > > > > > > > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it > > > > today.(we > > > > > > > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to > him > but > > > > that > > > > > > > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys > > > because > > > > > > > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man > actually > > > said > > > > > > > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked > if my > > > > dh > > > > > > > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to > and we > > > > had > > > > > > > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, > how > > > > much > > > > > > > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids > go > > > > > > > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work > because > > > he > > > > > > > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have > any > > > > money. > > > > > > > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to > > > > overhear > > > > > > > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me > over > some > > > > > > > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me > food > > > from > > > > > > > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 > to > > > keep > > > > my > > > > > > > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how > > > > incredibly > > > > > > > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through > > > chemo) > > > > > > > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such > nice > > > > > > > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > > > > > > > kIm

Response:

Lesa, I thought Sue was asking Hamilton how many children she has.  As if it matters, but anyway.  That was how I read it. Later, Sophie

Response:

>IMO, Parenting does not end when your child turns eighteen.  Maybe this is >just my perspective because of the way I have been raised and the family >ties that I have.  My mother and father have always been there and continue >to be there for us whenever we need them.  However, I was also raised to >learn the value of money, and a strong work ethic, so I do not ask them for >very much very often.  I feel the same way about my children.  They are my >children and my responsibility until the day that they bury me.  Parenting >for me does not end when my kids get married or turn eighteen.

Kool! To me, kids are about relationships.   Through those relationships, kids learn and grow. I wonder if the folks saying that ya shouldn’t be going to parents for help are people who would dump a friend if the going got rough. — Do not underestimate your abilities.  That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.

Response:

IMO, Parenting does not end when your child turns eighteen.  Maybe this is just my perspective because of the way I have been raised and the family ties that I have.  My mother and father have always been there and continue to be there for us whenever we need them.  However, I was also raised to learn the value of money, and a strong work ethic, so I do not ask them for very much very often.  I feel the same way about my children.  They are my children and my responsibility until the day that they bury me.  Parenting for me does not end when my kids get married or turn eighteen. JMHO Nique

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> kim.. > your father has done his job.. he raised you.  you are an adult woman now, > who found an adult man to wed.  together you have brought a kid into this > world… > your child is YOUR responsibility..  not your father’s, not anyone else’s. > maybe your dad didn’t do such a great job raising you, now that i think > about it.. maybe now he’s trying to teach you one final lesson. > you are not a child anymore.   please stop acting like one. > > A few people here seem to base filial affection directly on cash. > If my father cant give me $100.00 out of his million to put a diaper on > my kid and keep my oven and you cant understand than you are just as > much of a jerk as he is. > Kim > > > Elaine doesn’t understand the concept of family or much else for that > > > matter. > > > Sarah > > > > If her own father can’t give $11.25 for the stove payment and maybe > > > another > > > > $25 for diapers a few groceries than I agree that "fuck" is a pretty > > > apropo > > > > term for him. message > > > > > So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash? > Kim…you > > > > have > > > > > some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of > them. > > > > > > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a > better > > > > > > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that > this > > > must > > > > > > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out > pretty > > > well. > > > > > > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough > to > > > call > > > > > > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly > what > > I > > > > > > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and > I > > told > > > > > > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids > needed > > > > > > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it > > > today.(we > > > > > > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him > but > > > that > > > > > > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys > > because > > > > > > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man > actually > > said > > > > > > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked > if my > > > dh > > > > > > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to > and we > > > had > > > > > > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, > how > > > much > > > > > > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids > go > > > > > > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work > because > > he > > > > > > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any > > > money. > > > > > > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to > > > overhear > > > > > > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over > some > > > > > > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me > food > > from > > > > > > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to > > keep > > > my > > > > > > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how > > > incredibly > > > > > > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through > > chemo) > > > > > > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such > nice > > > > > > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > > > > > > kIm

Response:

Hamilton said:  >Steve has put it all crudely but he is basically right I agree.  Obviously your dad is a jerk, and it would have been *nice* if he’d given you some money but he doesn’t *have* to.  I agree also with the other poster who mentioned how you couldn’t afford the $11 for the stove. How much is your internet connection? If I had to choose between the stupid computer or stove to feed my family I know which one I’d give up. Priorities – time to learn the difference between needs and wants. Later, Sophie

Response:

What does this have to do with anything Sue?  Now that things are tight because the area  around her changed or her hub lost a job and they went w/o income for a couple of months she’s supposed to decide if they can afford the children they have?  Times change after children are born.  Incomes change after children are born.  People lose jobs after children are born. If Kim was saying that they were having troubles with money, and were planning on conceiving another child, then this would be a valid concern. Since these things happened after her children were born, its not.  Or are you listening to Elaine’s advice to give away your children if you find yourself in the situation of a single parent, and adding to it by saying that if your financial situation takes a downward turn you should give away your children as well?

> And how many kids do you have? > Sue B.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > > > kim.. > > > > your father has done his job.. he raised you.  you are an adult > woman now, > > > > who found an adult man to wed.  together you have brought a kid into > this > > > > world… > > > My dad didnt raise me.  He left my mom for another woman and mooched > off > > > of her.  He gives my sisters everything and Ive never asked him for a > > > dime.  Ive kept his dirty little secret for him all this time and I > wont > > > do it any longer.  If you cant count on your own parents to help you > > > when your having a rough time of it then who can you go to?  Its not > > > like we waste our money on drugs or alcohol.  It wasnt our fault that > he > > > lost his job.  My grandparents helped he and my mother tremendously > when > > > they went through rough times and now he uses his new money to control > > > us all.  He just needs time to figure out how he can use this need of > > > mine to get something he wants.  Fortunately my co-workers got > together > > > and gave us a huge gift cert. for food at our local grocery store and > my > > > mom and her boyfriend are buying us a stove as a Christmas gift.  I > dont > > > expect anything major from my dad but he is a millionaire and if he > cant > > > spare $100.00 then he is just sorry. > > > k > > Steve has put it all crudely but he is basically right — and once again > > you are wallowing and whining — ‘My sister, she got all the love and > the > > stuff and she got EVERYTHING and poor me’ — what does THAT old self > pity > > have to do with your situation now? — be a grownup.  An adult couple > with > > kids needs to have an emergency fund to support them for a few months > when > > the perfectly predictable events like layoffs occur.  This is normal > stuff > > — you didn’t get struck by a meteor.  Dad may be a jerk [obviously he > > is]  but Dad doesn’t owe you a living.  You are responsible for your > > family.  You should be focusing your energy on living your life so you > are > > prepared for this sort of natural bump in the road — not spending it > > whining on the internet that Dad loved sissy more. > > Would I help my kids out in such a situation?  Sure?  Do I owe them to > > bail them out when they plan poorly as adults?  Well, not really.  And > yes > > I have been there myself with an unemployed husband – through no fault > of > > his own.  It wasn’t easy — but we organize our life to be able to > absorb > > such ordinary setbacks and cope.  And we certainly didn’t obsess about > > whether we got the biggest piece of pie when we were 12. > I do believe that my father doesnt "owe" me anything.  Yes we are adults > but we also dont make a lot of money.  We happen to live in an area that > is the quickest growing area in America right now and the rents and > prices of houses went up so fast that we got stuck.  Yes we need to plan > better but do you understand that some people dont make enough money to > do that?  We dont have the money to pack up and move someplace cheaper, > we dont have big educations which would enable us to make 6 digit > salaries.  We own probably 2 pairs of pants a piece and dont live beyond > our means on purpose.  Im not whining that dad gave sissy more than me. > Its just that if you had more money than you knew what to do with and > you had a daughter in the situation I was in, wouldnt you do SOMETHING > to help?  It wouldnt even have to be monetary.  Not one person in my > family has called to offer any kind of support at all.  Why you ask? > Well, they are all very well off and have never had to struggle for > anything. (except my dad who chooses not to remember how he and mom > struggled for years) These people cannot understand our position because > they have never been there.  Yes there are a lot of jobs out there but > they dont pay worth a shit and offer no benefits.  Its not like we are > sitting on our asses waiting for handouts.  I probably wouldnt feel this > way if my dad werent married to his wife for money purposes only.  I > just couldnt imagine watching my kids struggle when I had more than > enough to give. > Kim

Response:

And how many kids do you have? Sue B. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > > kim.. > > > your father has done his job.. he raised you.  you are an adult woman now, > > > who found an adult man to wed.  together you have brought a kid into this > > > world… > > My dad didnt raise me.  He left my mom for another woman and mooched off > > of her.  He gives my sisters everything and Ive never asked him for a > > dime.  Ive kept his dirty little secret for him all this time and I wont > > do it any longer.  If you cant count on your own parents to help you > > when your having a rough time of it then who can you go to?  Its not > > like we waste our money on drugs or alcohol.  It wasnt our fault that he > > lost his job.  My grandparents helped he and my mother tremendously when > > they went through rough times and now he uses his new money to control > > us all.  He just needs time to figure out how he can use this need of > > mine to get something he wants.  Fortunately my co-workers got together > > and gave us a huge gift cert. for food at our local grocery store and my > > mom and her boyfriend are buying us a stove as a Christmas gift.  I dont > > expect anything major from my dad but he is a millionaire and if he cant > > spare $100.00 then he is just sorry. > > k > Steve has put it all crudely but he is basically right — and once again > you are wallowing and whining — ‘My sister, she got all the love and the > stuff and she got EVERYTHING and poor me’ — what does THAT old self pity > have to do with your situation now? — be a grownup.  An adult couple with > kids needs to have an emergency fund to support them for a few months when > the perfectly predictable events like layoffs occur.  This is normal stuff > — you didn’t get struck by a meteor.  Dad may be a jerk [obviously he > is]  but Dad doesn’t owe you a living.  You are responsible for your > family.  You should be focusing your energy on living your life so you are > prepared for this sort of natural bump in the road — not spending it > whining on the internet that Dad loved sissy more. > Would I help my kids out in such a situation?  Sure?  Do I owe them to > bail them out when they plan poorly as adults?  Well, not really.  And yes > I have been there myself with an unemployed husband – through no fault of > his own.  It wasn’t easy — but we organize our life to be able to absorb > such ordinary setbacks and cope.  And we certainly didn’t obsess about > whether we got the biggest piece of pie when we were 12. > I do believe that my father doesnt "owe" me anything.  Yes we are adults > but we also dont make a lot of money.  We happen to live in an area that > is the quickest growing area in America right now and the rents and > prices of houses went up so fast that we got stuck.  Yes we need to plan > better but do you understand that some people dont make enough money to > do that?  We dont have the money to pack up and move someplace cheaper, > we dont have big educations which would enable us to make 6 digit > salaries.  We own probably 2 pairs of pants a piece and dont live beyond > our means on purpose.  Im not whining that dad gave sissy more than me. > Its just that if you had more money than you knew what to do with and > you had a daughter in the situation I was in, wouldnt you do SOMETHING > to help?  It wouldnt even have to be monetary.  Not one person in my > family has called to offer any kind of support at all.  Why you ask? > Well, they are all very well off and have never had to struggle for > anything. (except my dad who chooses not to remember how he and mom > struggled for years) These people cannot understand our position because > they have never been there.  Yes there are a lot of jobs out there but > they dont pay worth a shit and offer no benefits.  Its not like we are > sitting on our asses waiting for handouts.  I probably wouldnt feel this > way if my dad werent married to his wife for money purposes only.  I > just couldnt imagine watching my kids struggle when I had more than > enough to give. > Kim

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > kim.. > > your father has done his job.. he raised you.  you are an adult woman now, > > who found an adult man to wed.  together you have brought a kid into this > > world… > My dad didnt raise me.  He left my mom for another woman and mooched off > of her.  He gives my sisters everything and Ive never asked him for a > dime.  Ive kept his dirty little secret for him all this time and I wont > do it any longer.  If you cant count on your own parents to help you > when your having a rough time of it then who can you go to?  Its not > like we waste our money on drugs or alcohol.  It wasnt our fault that he > lost his job.  My grandparents helped he and my mother tremendously when > they went through rough times and now he uses his new money to control > us all.  He just needs time to figure out how he can use this need of > mine to get something he wants.  Fortunately my co-workers got together > and gave us a huge gift cert. for food at our local grocery store and my > mom and her boyfriend are buying us a stove as a Christmas gift.  I dont > expect anything major from my dad but he is a millionaire and if he cant > spare $100.00 then he is just sorry. > k > Steve has put it all crudely but he is basically right — and once again > you are wallowing and whining — ‘My sister, she got all the love and the > stuff and she got EVERYTHING and poor me’ — what does THAT old self pity > have to do with your situation now? — be a grownup.  An adult couple with > kids needs to have an emergency fund to support them for a few months when > the perfectly predictable events like layoffs occur.  This is normal stuff > — you didn’t get struck by a meteor.  Dad may be a jerk [obviously he > is]  but Dad doesn’t owe you a living.  You are responsible for your > family.  You should be focusing your energy on living your life so you are > prepared for this sort of natural bump in the road — not spending it > whining on the internet that Dad loved sissy more. > Would I help my kids out in such a situation?  Sure?  Do I owe them to > bail them out when they plan poorly as adults?  Well, not really.  And yes > I have been there myself with an unemployed husband – through no fault of > his own.  It wasn’t easy — but we organize our life to be able to absorb > such ordinary setbacks and cope.  And we certainly didn’t obsess about > whether we got the biggest piece of pie when we were 12.

I do believe that my father doesnt "owe" me anything.  Yes we are adults but we also dont make a lot of money.  We happen to live in an area that is the quickest growing area in America right now and the rents and prices of houses went up so fast that we got stuck.  Yes we need to plan better but do you understand that some people dont make enough money to do that?  We dont have the money to pack up and move someplace cheaper, we dont have big educations which would enable us to make 6 digit salaries.  We own probably 2 pairs of pants a piece and dont live beyond our means on purpose.  Im not whining that dad gave sissy more than me. Its just that if you had more money than you knew what to do with and you had a daughter in the situation I was in, wouldnt you do SOMETHING to help?  It wouldnt even have to be monetary.  Not one person in my family has called to offer any kind of support at all.  Why you ask? Well, they are all very well off and have never had to struggle for anything. (except my dad who chooses not to remember how he and mom struggled for years) These people cannot understand our position because they have never been there.  Yes there are a lot of jobs out there but they dont pay worth a shit and offer no benefits.  Its not like we are sitting on our asses waiting for handouts.  I probably wouldnt feel this way if my dad werent married to his wife for money purposes only.  I just couldnt imagine watching my kids struggle when I had more than enough to give. Kim

Response:

>kim.. >your father has done his job.. he raised you.  you are an adult woman now, >who found an adult man to wed.  together you have brought a kid into this >world… >your child is YOUR responsibility..  not your father’s, not anyone else’s. >maybe your dad didn’t do such a great job raising you, now that i think >about it.. maybe now he’s trying to teach you one final lesson. >you are not a child anymore.   please stop acting like one.

Wow!  This is amazing to me. Now Steve has been a proponent of comunism/socialism for some time. One of the things that differentiates that philosophy from capitalism, in my mind, is that socialist countries at least *profess* to care more about people and want to at least appear to want to give them whatever assistance they need. Hell, now Steve sounds more like a bloody Republican than a socialist. — Do not underestimate your abilities.  That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> kim.. > your father has done his job.. he raised you.  you are an adult woman now, > who found an adult man to wed.  together you have brought a kid into this > world… > My dad didnt raise me.  He left my mom for another woman and mooched off > of her.  He gives my sisters everything and Ive never asked him for a > dime.  Ive kept his dirty little secret for him all this time and I wont > do it any longer.  If you cant count on your own parents to help you > when your having a rough time of it then who can you go to?  Its not > like we waste our money on drugs or alcohol.  It wasnt our fault that he > lost his job.  My grandparents helped he and my mother tremendously when > they went through rough times and now he uses his new money to control > us all.  He just needs time to figure out how he can use this need of > mine to get something he wants.  Fortunately my co-workers got together > and gave us a huge gift cert. for food at our local grocery store and my > mom and her boyfriend are buying us a stove as a Christmas gift.  I dont > expect anything major from my dad but he is a millionaire and if he cant > spare $100.00 then he is just sorry.   > k

Steve has put it all crudely but he is basically right — and once again you are wallowing and whining — ‘My sister, she got all the love and the stuff and she got EVERYTHING and poor me’ — what does THAT old self pity have to do with your situation now? — be a grownup.  An adult couple with kids needs to have an emergency fund to support them for a few months when the perfectly predictable events like layoffs occur.  This is normal stuff — you didn’t get struck by a meteor.  Dad may be a jerk [obviously he is]  but Dad doesn’t owe you a living.  You are responsible for your family.  You should be focusing your energy on living your life so you are prepared for this sort of natural bump in the road — not spending it whining on the internet that Dad loved sissy more. Would I help my kids out in such a situation?  Sure?  Do I owe them to bail them out when they plan poorly as adults?  Well, not really.  And yes I have been there myself with an unemployed husband – through no fault of his own.  It wasn’t easy — but we organize our life to be able to absorb such ordinary setbacks and cope.  And we certainly didn’t obsess about whether we got the biggest piece of pie when we were 12.

Response:

> kim.. > your father has done his job.. he raised you.  you are an adult woman now, > who found an adult man to wed.  together you have brought a kid into this > world…

My dad didnt raise me.  He left my mom for another woman and mooched off of her.  He gives my sisters everything and Ive never asked him for a dime.  Ive kept his dirty little secret for him all this time and I wont do it any longer.  If you cant count on your own parents to help you when your having a rough time of it then who can you go to?  Its not like we waste our money on drugs or alcohol.  It wasnt our fault that he lost his job.  My grandparents helped he and my mother tremendously when they went through rough times and now he uses his new money to control us all.  He just needs time to figure out how he can use this need of mine to get something he wants.  Fortunately my co-workers got together and gave us a huge gift cert. for food at our local grocery store and my mom and her boyfriend are buying us a stove as a Christmas gift.  I dont expect anything major from my dad but he is a millionaire and if he cant spare $100.00 then he is just sorry.   k – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> your child is YOUR responsibility..  not your father’s, not anyone else’s. > maybe your dad didn’t do such a great job raising you, now that i think > about it.. maybe now he’s trying to teach you one final lesson. > you are not a child anymore.   please stop acting like one. > > A few people here seem to base filial affection directly on cash. > If my father cant give me $100.00 out of his million to put a diaper on > my kid and keep my oven and you cant understand than you are just as > much of a jerk as he is. > Kim > > > Elaine doesn’t understand the concept of family or much else for that > > > matter. > > > Sarah > > > > If her own father can’t give $11.25 for the stove payment and maybe > > > another > > > > $25 for diapers a few groceries than I agree that "fuck" is a pretty > > > apropo > > > > term for him. > > > > > So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash? > Kim…you > > > > have > > > > > some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of > them. > > > > > > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a > better > > > > > > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that > this > > > must > > > > > > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out > pretty > > > well. > > > > > > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough > to > > > call > > > > > > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly > what > > I > > > > > > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and > I > > told > > > > > > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids > needed > > > > > > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it > > > today.(we > > > > > > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him > but > > > that > > > > > > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys > > because > > > > > > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man > actually > > said > > > > > > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked > if my > > > dh > > > > > > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to > and we > > > had > > > > > > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, > how > > > much > > > > > > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids > go > > > > > > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work > because > > he > > > > > > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any > > > money. > > > > > > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to > > > overhear > > > > > > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over > some > > > > > > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me > food > > from > > > > > > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to > > keep > > > my > > > > > > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how > > > incredibly > > > > > > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through > > chemo) > > > > > > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such > nice > > > > > > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > > > > > > kIm

Response:

kim.. your father has done his job.. he raised you.  you are an adult woman now, who found an adult man to wed.  together you have brought a kid into this world… your child is YOUR responsibility..  not your father’s, not anyone else’s. maybe your dad didn’t do such a great job raising you, now that i think about it.. maybe now he’s trying to teach you one final lesson. you are not a child anymore.   please stop acting like one. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> A few people here seem to base filial affection directly on cash. > If my father cant give me $100.00 out of his million to put a diaper on > my kid and keep my oven and you cant understand than you are just as > much of a jerk as he is. > Kim > > Elaine doesn’t understand the concept of family or much else for that > > matter. > > Sarah > > > If her own father can’t give $11.25 for the stove payment and maybe > > another > > > $25 for diapers a few groceries than I agree that "fuck" is a pretty > > apropo > > > term for him. > > > > So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash? Kim…you > > > have > > > > some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of them. > > > > > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a better > > > > > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that this > > must > > > > > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out pretty > > well. > > > > > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough to > > call > > > > > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly what > I > > > > > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and I > told > > > > > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids needed > > > > > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it > > today.(we > > > > > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him but > > that > > > > > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys > because > > > > > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man actually > said > > > > > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked if my > > dh > > > > > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to and we > > had > > > > > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, how > > much > > > > > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids go > > > > > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work because > he > > > > > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any > > money. > > > > > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to > > overhear > > > > > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over some > > > > > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me food > from > > > > > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to > keep > > my > > > > > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how > > incredibly > > > > > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through > chemo) > > > > > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such nice > > > > > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > > > > > kIm

Response:

another thing.. how the hell do you risk lettting your child starve while paying 20 bucks a month for an internet account, plus whatever it cost to buy you a computer… I don’t mean to sound cruel.. but you are an adult.. you need to start taking responsibility for your actions and learn from your mistakes.. don’t put yourself in this position again. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a better > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that this must > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out pretty well. > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough to call > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly what I > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and I told > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids needed > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it today.(we > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him but that > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys because > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man actually said > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked if my dh > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to and we had > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, how much > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids go > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work because he > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any money. > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to overhear > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over some > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me food from > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to keep my > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how incredibly > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through chemo) > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such nice > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > kIm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a better > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that this must > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out pretty well. > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough to call > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly what I > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and I told > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids needed > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it today.(we > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him but that > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys because > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man actually said > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked if my dh > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to and we had > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, how much > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids go > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work because he > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any money. > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to overhear > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over some > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me food from > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to keep my > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how incredibly > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through chemo) > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such nice > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > kIm

your dad isn’t obligated to support his adult daughter and her adult husband, who got together to pop out a kid, but didn’t think to save enough to buy food for their kid. jesus, lady, take some responsibility for yourself.  your dad owes you NOTHING at this point.  you and your husband should take another look at your spending habits and learn from this.  next time hard times come around, be prepared.

Response:

>So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash?   Kim…you have >some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of them.

Elaine …. Shit, nrevermind.  Yer pretty useless. — Do not underestimate your abilities.  That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.

Response:

> A few people here seem to base filial affection directly on cash.

If my father cant give me $100.00 out of his million to put a diaper on my kid and keep my oven and you cant understand than you are just as much of a jerk as he is. Kim – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Elaine doesn’t understand the concept of family or much else for that > matter. > Sarah > > If her own father can’t give $11.25 for the stove payment and maybe > another > > $25 for diapers a few groceries than I agree that "fuck" is a pretty > apropo > > term for him. > > > So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash?   Kim…you > > have > > > some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of them. > > > > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a better > > > > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that this > must > > > > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out pretty > well. > > > > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough to > call > > > > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly what > I > > > > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and I > told > > > > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids needed > > > > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it > today.(we > > > > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him but > that > > > > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys > because > > > > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man actually > said > > > > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked if my > dh > > > > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to and we > had > > > > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, how > much > > > > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids go > > > > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work because > he > > > > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any > money. > > > > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to > overhear > > > > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over some > > > > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me food > from > > > > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to > keep > my > > > > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how > incredibly > > > > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through > chemo) > > > > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such nice > > > > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > > > > kIm

Response:

This is very good advice. You seem to live a bit above your means. Making sure a little is saved for a rainy day is one way to avoid crisis like these. I noticed that hubby got laid off less than a month ago and you couldn’t afford to pay $11.25 on a bill. You need a good financial planner who will help you figure out all your bills and may be able to consolidate alot of them into one payment a month which makes it easier to budget what you have to spend each month. There are some things you may have to give up like dinners out, ISP bills, etc. You need to understand what are necessities and what are luxuries. My hubby is a stay at home Dad and when we first decided to do this there were certain things we had to give up like our second car, vacations, etc. Years later this has now paid off, we have paid all our bills, paid off the house, and we are now taking the kids to Disney! Instead of complaining about money yuo and your husband need to sit down and figure out what you need and what you want. I personally think that your hubby should be spending time with his children at night and not working a second job. You have mentioned that you are a stay at home Mom, maybe it would make more sense for you to work nights and let your husband spend time with his kids. I don’t mean to seem heartless but it is just my humble opinion, Kim – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Kim, > Now that the crisis will be over, I hope you would take the advice offered > before and try to figure out your budget and a way to save some money for > future problems. > Please don’t accuse me of passing judgement on you.  However, if you can save > $20 a week from the new paycheck (that’s bigger than the one he used to get), > you can afford to buy a stove in not so many months. Consider trying to chop > away at any interest accruing expenses. > Now is the time to make changes for the positive. > – Blanche

Response:

Kim, Now that the crisis will be over, I hope you would take the advice offered before and try to figure out your budget and a way to save some money for future problems.   Please don’t accuse me of passing judgement on you.  However, if you can save $20 a week from the new paycheck (that’s bigger than the one he used to get), you can afford to buy a stove in not so many months. Consider trying to chop away at any interest accruing expenses.   Now is the time to make changes for the positive.   – Blanche

Response:

A few people here seem to base filial affection directly on cash.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Elaine doesn’t understand the concept of family or much else for that > matter. > Sarah > If her own father can’t give $11.25 for the stove payment and maybe > another > $25 for diapers a few groceries than I agree that "fuck" is a pretty > apropo > term for him. > > So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash?   Kim…you > have > > some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of them. > > > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a better > > > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that this > must > > > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out pretty > well. > > > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough to > call > > > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly what I > > > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and I told > > > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids needed > > > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it > today.(we > > > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him but > that > > > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys because > > > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man actually said > > > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked if my > dh > > > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to and we > had > > > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, how > much > > > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids go > > > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work because he > > > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any > money. > > > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to > overhear > > > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over some > > > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me food from > > > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to keep > my > > > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how > incredibly > > > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through chemo) > > > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such nice > > > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > > > kIm

Response:

Elaine doesn’t understand the concept of family or much else for that matter. Sarah

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> If her own father can’t give $11.25 for the stove payment and maybe another > $25 for diapers a few groceries than I agree that "fuck" is a pretty apropo > term for him. > So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash?   Kim…you > have > some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of them. > > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a better > > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that this must > > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out pretty well. > > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough to call > > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly what I > > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and I told > > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids needed > > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it today.(we > > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him but that > > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys because > > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man actually said > > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked if my dh > > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to and we had > > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, how much > > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids go > > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work because he > > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any money. > > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to overhear > > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over some > > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me food from > > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to keep my > > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how incredibly > > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through chemo) > > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such nice > > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > > kIm

Response:

If her own father can’t give $11.25 for the stove payment and maybe another $25 for diapers a few groceries than I agree that "fuck" is a pretty apropo term for him.

> So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash?   Kim…you have > some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of them.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a better > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that this must > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out pretty well. > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough to call > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly what I > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and I told > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids needed > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it today.(we > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him but that > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys because > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man actually said > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked if my dh > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to and we had > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, how much > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids go > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work because he > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any money. > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to overhear > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over some > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me food from > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to keep my > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how incredibly > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through chemo) > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such nice > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > kIm

Response:

My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a better paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that this must have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out pretty well. However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough to call my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly what I told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and I told him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids needed diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it today.(we rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him but that I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys because we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man actually said that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked if my dh was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to and we had no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, how much do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids go without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work because he was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any money. This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to overhear me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over some hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me food from their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to keep my stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how incredibly giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through chemo) and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such nice friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. kIm

Response:

So he’s "fuck" of a man if he doesn’t fork over some cash?   Kim…you have some problems, but I suspect that money is about the least of them. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My dh has found a really good job about 4 miles away.  Its a better > paying and higher position than he has ever had.  I knew that this must > have happened for a reason and it seems to have worked out pretty well. > However, I just had to tell you guys that I was desperate enough to call > my Dad today and beg for money and guess what…He did exactly what I > told you he would.  I almost threw up from being so nervous and I told > him straight out that it was an emergency and that my kids needed > diapers and they were going to take my oven if we didnt pay it today.(we > rent it) I told him that it was very hard for me to come to him but that > I had no choice and we were getting our food from food pantrys because > we havent received unemployment yet.  This fuck of a man actually said > that he wanted to say yes but then wanted to say no.  He asked if my dh > was working and I said yes but he isnt making what he used to and we had > no money.  My own fucking father wouldnt just say "no problem, how much > do you need, I wont let my daughter go hungary or my grandkids go > without diapers" I mean, I was balling my eyes out at work because he > was so evil.  HE actually had the nerve to say he didnt have any money. > This coming from a millionaire.  My office manager happened to overhear > me talking to him and some of the girls at work brought me over some > hamburger and are going to cook for us tomorrow and bring me food from > their church.  My other girlfriend is going to loan me $11.25 to keep my > stove until Monday when we get paid.  I just cant believe how incredibly > giving my friends are (one of them has a husband going through chemo) > and my own dad wont do anything.  Im very lucky to have such nice > friends even if my family isnt worth a shit. > kIm

Response: