Question:
>lyn, first, i’m so moved by the fact that you can see so much good and beauty >in life despite what you’re going through. you are going to be fine!! >my only concern with the lawyer is that they can sometimes make situations >more >adversarial than they need to be. having been divorced twice, i know how true >this is. just do what feels right in your heart.
Diane put this much better than I could. Just know that we are all here for you, Lyn. This too shall end. Best regards, Check out our website too–do you love oak furniture? http://www.barnfurniture.com
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Lyn, Know that you are definitely in my thoughts and prayers!!! I pray that things can go fairly smoothly and that you are relieved of some of the major stress in your life!!! Hang in there and be safe in your travels!!! Donna G
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for you big guy. Duckie — Remove the duck to email me privately (.)> A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Why, oh why, can’t people be reasonable and work things out in a civil > manner without having to do the "court" thing. I went to my lawyers > appointment this morning with a heavy heart and a feeling of > hopelessness. That feeling hasn’t improved much. I told her my story > and showed her all of my documentation and I guess I secretly hoped > she would tell me that I’d be better off to bite the bullet. That > didn’t happen…in fact she was relatively appalled at what has been > done to me…especially lately, and said that I have an excellent case > and that we should go ahead with it. I guess that’s a good thing from > a money point of view, for me, but the potential emotional cost to my > two sons frightens me to no end. She (my lawyer) is going to start > things off by writing a letter to my ex and explaining the legal facts > of life to her, and giving her one final opportunity to settle things > in a peaceful equitable manner, with the strong implication that if > she chooses not to, the results will be expensive and counter > productive to all concerned, (except the lawyers, of course). I’m > praying that she will see reason and work with us on this. It takes > an hour to get to my home from Medicine Hat and I think I cried most > of the way. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m not built for > confrontation, because I have to much empathy for everyone, but this > time I have to be strong and stand up for my self, no matter how much > it hurts. On the other issues I have, namely access to my children > and having the rules followed on BOTH sides, she suggested a fairly > new practice they have. Both parties (and their lawyers) meet and > work through their issues in a non-courtroom situation. Whatever is > decided at this conciliation meeting then becomes a legally binding > agreement. This covers everything from child support to parenting to > access and visitation. Sounds much better than an impersonal court > case to me. That will happen some time in the new year…right after > I come up with my 1000.00 retainer. I had another lawyer in mind to > use for my upcoming divorce from Annette, but since he also requires a > 1000.00 retainer, I might just as well use this current lawyer for > both issues. At least divorcing my current wife promises to be > inexpensive and quick. She has agreed to sign an affidavit stating > that she is committing adultery and that will eliminate the year long > waiting period. I just want all of this crap dealt with and in the > past so that I can go on with my life. After being so sick for so > long, I find life to be potentially wonderful and I’d like to be able > to enjoy it…soon. All this stress is not at all good for me and I’m > afraid it will ultimately bring on a new flare. I don’t believe I > could handle that right now. I won’t say that I’m in total remission > because I still have constant pain, but it’s so much better than it > was and I don’t want to go back to not being able to walk, much less > work. Keep me in your prayer and I’ll continue to do the same for all > of you. > On the work front, I load tomorrow to go to Houston. I can’t unload > until Monday morning so I likely won’t leave town until sometime > thursday. Compared to my last trip, Houston seems close to home. > I’ve lived in Canada all my life and until the last couple of weeks, I > had no idea just how vast this country is. Beautiful though. I told > my dispatcher that I didn’t mind the idea of going across Canada now > and then at all. Maybe next time I’ll get to go all the way to > Newfoundland. I was almost there this time. Take care all…talk to > you soon. > http://www.monarch.net/users/Lynsplace/
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~KJ Akron, Ohio http://arthritisinsight.com Knowledge is power…support is essential. http://www.arthritisinsight.com/help/donationdrive/index.html AI 2001 Holiday Donation Drive
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{{{{{Lyn}}}}} Don’t know what else to say except that we are here for you. Sarah L "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (unattributed)
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Lyn Being assertive is not being confrontational in the nasty sense and I think that your kids will understand this if not right now they will in time. Don’t let all that stress get to you put some distance between it and your inner self – you can do it! Do it for your kids as well as for yourself. Mo
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> ((((Lyn)))) > I am also a very non-confrontational person, but in this case I think your > boys will see that it’s important to stand up for yourself and for them. In > the long run they will see what it means to really be a man, defending his > children and his honor. > I’m proud of you for not being ugly and vindictive in a time when it would > be very easy to do so. > Take care, > Kelly C. > Why, oh why, can’t people be reasonable and work things out in a civil > manner without having to do the "court" thing. I went to my lawyers > appointment this morning with a heavy heart and a feeling of > hopelessness. That feeling hasn’t improved much. I told her my story > and showed her all of my documentation and I guess I secretly hoped > she would tell me that I’d be better off to bite the bullet. That > didn’t happen…in fact she was relatively appalled at what has been > done to me…especially lately, and said that I have an excellent case > and that we should go ahead with it. I guess that’s a good thing from > a money point of view, for me, but the potential emotional cost to my > two sons frightens me to no end. She (my lawyer) is going to start > things off by writing a letter to my ex and explaining the legal facts > of life to her, and giving her one final opportunity to settle things > in a peaceful equitable manner, with the strong implication that if > she chooses not to, the results will be expensive and counter > productive to all concerned, (except the lawyers, of course). I’m > praying that she will see reason and work with us on this. It takes > an hour to get to my home from Medicine Hat and I think I cried most > of the way. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m not built for > confrontation, because I have to much empathy for everyone, but this > time I have to be strong and stand up for my self, no matter how much > it hurts. On the other issues I have, namely access to my children > and having the rules followed on BOTH sides, she suggested a fairly > new practice they have. Both parties (and their lawyers) meet and > work through their issues in a non-courtroom situation. Whatever is > decided at this conciliation meeting then becomes a legally binding > agreement. This covers everything from child support to parenting to > access and visitation. Sounds much better than an impersonal court > case to me. That will happen some time in the new year…right after > I come up with my 1000.00 retainer. I had another lawyer in mind to > use for my upcoming divorce from Annette, but since he also requires a > 1000.00 retainer, I might just as well use this current lawyer for > both issues. At least divorcing my current wife promises to be > inexpensive and quick. She has agreed to sign an affidavit stating > that she is committing adultery and that will eliminate the year long > waiting period. I just want all of this crap dealt with and in the > past so that I can go on with my life. After being so sick for so > long, I find life to be potentially wonderful and I’d like to be able > to enjoy it…soon. All this stress is not at all good for me and I’m > afraid it will ultimately bring on a new flare. I don’t believe I > could handle that right now. I won’t say that I’m in total remission > because I still have constant pain, but it’s so much better than it > was and I don’t want to go back to not being able to walk, much less > work. Keep me in your prayer and I’ll continue to do the same for all > of you. > On the work front, I load tomorrow to go to Houston. I can’t unload > until Monday morning so I likely won’t leave town until sometime > thursday. Compared to my last trip, Houston seems close to home. > I’ve lived in Canada all my life and until the last couple of weeks, I > had no idea just how vast this country is. Beautiful though. I told > my dispatcher that I didn’t mind the idea of going across Canada now > and then at all. Maybe next time I’ll get to go all the way to > Newfoundland. I was almost there this time. Take care all…talk to > you soon. > http://www.monarch.net/users/Lynsplace/
Response:
says… > hy, oh why, can’t people be reasonable and work things out in a civil > manner without having to do the "court" thing. I went to my lawyers > appointment this morning with a heavy heart and a feeling of > hopelessness.
My divorce was the most difficult and toughest action I have ever taken. Just take it a day at a time Lynn, and focus on the positive stuff that comes your way. MY heart goes out to you it is tough and dirty. — MZ — reply to mzuschlag at attbi dot com Visit my website: http://www.mzuschlag.com
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Oh, yeah, Lyn, The binding mediation really is the way to go. The mediator isn’t bound up like a judge is, and can cut thru the non-issues – plus it’s a service, so no charge! Because I’m disabled I got to do mediation over the phone rather than driving over 100 miles to attend; got my child’s father straightened out about custody/visitation instead of having a laywer and judge do it. Lemme tell ya from experience that binding mediation is a much more humane and inexpensive alternative to civil court hearing, after hearing, after hearing. I hope you get it settled this way and soon! I wish you the best on it…yer one of the good guys. 
Soft Huggings from Rosie — "If you wanna get it done, you gotta fight for yourself." — Meat Loaf, Bat Outta Hell II
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Why, oh why, can’t people be reasonable and work things out in a civil > manner without having to do the "court" thing. I went to my lawyers > appointment this morning with a heavy heart and a feeling of > hopelessness. That feeling hasn’t improved much. I told her my story > and showed her all of my documentation and I guess I secretly hoped > she would tell me that I’d be better off to bite the bullet. That > didn’t happen…in fact she was relatively appalled at what has been > done to me…especially lately, and said that I have an excellent case > and that we should go ahead with it. I guess that’s a good thing from > a money point of view, for me, but the potential emotional cost to my > two sons frightens me to no end. She (my lawyer) is going to start > things off by writing a letter to my ex and explaining the legal facts > of life to her, and giving her one final opportunity to settle things > in a peaceful equitable manner, with the strong implication that if > she chooses not to, the results will be expensive and counter > productive to all concerned, (except the lawyers, of course). I’m > praying that she will see reason and work with us on this. It takes > an hour to get to my home from Medicine Hat and I think I cried most > of the way. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m not built for > confrontation, because I have to much empathy for everyone, but this > time I have to be strong and stand up for my self, no matter how much > it hurts. On the other issues I have, namely access to my children > and having the rules followed on BOTH sides, she suggested a fairly > new practice they have. Both parties (and their lawyers) meet and > work through their issues in a non-courtroom situation. Whatever is > decided at this conciliation meeting then becomes a legally binding > agreement. This covers everything from child support to parenting to > access and visitation. Sounds much better than an impersonal court > case to me. That will happen some time in the new year…right after > I come up with my 1000.00 retainer. I had another lawyer in mind to > use for my upcoming divorce from Annette, but since he also requires a > 1000.00 retainer, I might just as well use this current lawyer for > both issues. At least divorcing my current wife promises to be > inexpensive and quick. She has agreed to sign an affidavit stating > that she is committing adultery and that will eliminate the year long > waiting period. I just want all of this crap dealt with and in the > past so that I can go on with my life. After being so sick for so > long, I find life to be potentially wonderful and I’d like to be able > to enjoy it…soon. All this stress is not at all good for me and I’m > afraid it will ultimately bring on a new flare. I don’t believe I > could handle that right now. I won’t say that I’m in total remission > because I still have constant pain, but it’s so much better than it > was and I don’t want to go back to not being able to walk, much less > work. Keep me in your prayer and I’ll continue to do the same for all > of you. > On the work front, I load tomorrow to go to Houston. I can’t unload > until Monday morning so I likely won’t leave town until sometime > thursday. Compared to my last trip, Houston seems close to home. > I’ve lived in Canada all my life and until the last couple of weeks, I > had no idea just how vast this country is. Beautiful though. I told > my dispatcher that I didn’t mind the idea of going across Canada now > and then at all. Maybe next time I’ll get to go all the way to > Newfoundland. I was almost there this time. Take care all…talk to > you soon. > http://www.monarch.net/users/Lynsplace/
Response:
Lyn-If you need to talk, you have my number. Hang in there pal. Char "Remember, I’m pulling for ya’. We’re all in this together." Red Green
Response:
lyn, first, i’m so moved by the fact that you can see so much good and beauty in life despite what you’re going through. you are going to be fine!! my only concern with the lawyer is that they can sometimes make situations more adversarial than they need to be. having been divorced twice, i know how true this is. just do what feels right in your heart. thinking of you, diane
Response:
Hi Lyn, I want you to know that many here understand what you are going through. I also want you to know that you are prayed for and all your family. You are probably doing what must be done and what anyone of us would do under the same circumstances. Having said that, we must learn from our mistakes and those include our choices we make in the people that are in our life. I know it looks dark now but just remember that the right person could be just around the next corner. Please do the best you can to control the damage with your kids. None of this is their fault and they do not need the heavy weight of all this on their shoulders any more than what must be. I want you and yours to have as good a Christmas as can be. Harv – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Why, oh why, can’t people be reasonable and work things out in a civil > manner without having to do the "court" thing. I went to my lawyers > appointment this morning with a heavy heart and a feeling of > hopelessness. That feeling hasn’t improved much. I told her my story > and showed her all of my documentation and I guess I secretly hoped > she would tell me that I’d be better off to bite the bullet. That > didn’t happen…in fact she was relatively appalled at what has been > done to me…especially lately, and said that I have an excellent case > and that we should go ahead with it. I guess that’s a good thing from > a money point of view, for me, but the potential emotional cost to my > two sons frightens me to no end. She (my lawyer) is going to start > things off by writing a letter to my ex and explaining the legal facts > of life to her, and giving her one final opportunity to settle things > in a peaceful equitable manner, with the strong implication that if > she chooses not to, the results will be expensive and counter > productive to all concerned, (except the lawyers, of course). I’m > praying that she will see reason and work with us on this. It takes > an hour to get to my home from Medicine Hat and I think I cried most > of the way. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m not built for > confrontation, because I have to much empathy for everyone, but this > time I have to be strong and stand up for my self, no matter how much > it hurts. On the other issues I have, namely access to my children > and having the rules followed on BOTH sides, she suggested a fairly > new practice they have. Both parties (and their lawyers) meet and > work through their issues in a non-courtroom situation. Whatever is > decided at this conciliation meeting then becomes a legally binding > agreement. This covers everything from child support to parenting to > access and visitation. Sounds much better than an impersonal court > case to me. That will happen some time in the new year…right after > I come up with my 1000.00 retainer. I had another lawyer in mind to > use for my upcoming divorce from Annette, but since he also requires a > 1000.00 retainer, I might just as well use this current lawyer for > both issues. At least divorcing my current wife promises to be > inexpensive and quick. She has agreed to sign an affidavit stating > that she is committing adultery and that will eliminate the year long > waiting period. I just want all of this crap dealt with and in the > past so that I can go on with my life. After being so sick for so > long, I find life to be potentially wonderful and I’d like to be able > to enjoy it…soon. All this stress is not at all good for me and I’m > afraid it will ultimately bring on a new flare. I don’t believe I > could handle that right now. I won’t say that I’m in total remission > because I still have constant pain, but it’s so much better than it > was and I don’t want to go back to not being able to walk, much less > work. Keep me in your prayer and I’ll continue to do the same for all > of you. > On the work front, I load tomorrow to go to Houston. I can’t unload > until Monday morning so I likely won’t leave town until sometime > thursday. Compared to my last trip, Houston seems close to home. > I’ve lived in Canada all my life and until the last couple of weeks, I > had no idea just how vast this country is. Beautiful though. I told > my dispatcher that I didn’t mind the idea of going across Canada now > and then at all. Maybe next time I’ll get to go all the way to > Newfoundland. I was almost there this time. Take care all…talk to > you soon. > http://www.monarch.net/users/Lynsplace/
Response:
((((Lyn)))) I am also a very non-confrontational person, but in this case I think your boys will see that it’s important to stand up for yourself and for them. In the long run they will see what it means to really be a man, defending his children and his honor. I’m proud of you for not being ugly and vindictive in a time when it would be very easy to do so. Take care, Kelly C.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Why, oh why, can’t people be reasonable and work things out in a civil > manner without having to do the "court" thing. I went to my lawyers > appointment this morning with a heavy heart and a feeling of > hopelessness. That feeling hasn’t improved much. I told her my story > and showed her all of my documentation and I guess I secretly hoped > she would tell me that I’d be better off to bite the bullet. That > didn’t happen…in fact she was relatively appalled at what has been > done to me…especially lately, and said that I have an excellent case > and that we should go ahead with it. I guess that’s a good thing from > a money point of view, for me, but the potential emotional cost to my > two sons frightens me to no end. She (my lawyer) is going to start > things off by writing a letter to my ex and explaining the legal facts > of life to her, and giving her one final opportunity to settle things > in a peaceful equitable manner, with the strong implication that if > she chooses not to, the results will be expensive and counter > productive to all concerned, (except the lawyers, of course). I’m > praying that she will see reason and work with us on this. It takes > an hour to get to my home from Medicine Hat and I think I cried most > of the way. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m not built for > confrontation, because I have to much empathy for everyone, but this > time I have to be strong and stand up for my self, no matter how much > it hurts. On the other issues I have, namely access to my children > and having the rules followed on BOTH sides, she suggested a fairly > new practice they have. Both parties (and their lawyers) meet and > work through their issues in a non-courtroom situation. Whatever is > decided at this conciliation meeting then becomes a legally binding > agreement. This covers everything from child support to parenting to > access and visitation. Sounds much better than an impersonal court > case to me. That will happen some time in the new year…right after > I come up with my 1000.00 retainer. I had another lawyer in mind to > use for my upcoming divorce from Annette, but since he also requires a > 1000.00 retainer, I might just as well use this current lawyer for > both issues. At least divorcing my current wife promises to be > inexpensive and quick. She has agreed to sign an affidavit stating > that she is committing adultery and that will eliminate the year long > waiting period. I just want all of this crap dealt with and in the > past so that I can go on with my life. After being so sick for so > long, I find life to be potentially wonderful and I’d like to be able > to enjoy it…soon. All this stress is not at all good for me and I’m > afraid it will ultimately bring on a new flare. I don’t believe I > could handle that right now. I won’t say that I’m in total remission > because I still have constant pain, but it’s so much better than it > was and I don’t want to go back to not being able to walk, much less > work. Keep me in your prayer and I’ll continue to do the same for all > of you. > On the work front, I load tomorrow to go to Houston. I can’t unload > until Monday morning so I likely won’t leave town until sometime > thursday. Compared to my last trip, Houston seems close to home. > I’ve lived in Canada all my life and until the last couple of weeks, I > had no idea just how vast this country is. Beautiful though. I told > my dispatcher that I didn’t mind the idea of going across Canada now > and then at all. Maybe next time I’ll get to go all the way to > Newfoundland. I was almost there this time. Take care all…talk to > you soon. > http://www.monarch.net/users/Lynsplace/
Response:
Why, oh why, can’t people be reasonable and work things out in a civil manner without having to do the "court" thing. I went to my lawyers appointment this morning with a heavy heart and a feeling of hopelessness. That feeling hasn’t improved much. I told her my story and showed her all of my documentation and I guess I secretly hoped she would tell me that I’d be better off to bite the bullet. That didn’t happen…in fact she was relatively appalled at what has been done to me…especially lately, and said that I have an excellent case and that we should go ahead with it. I guess that’s a good thing from a money point of view, for me, but the potential emotional cost to my two sons frightens me to no end. She (my lawyer) is going to start things off by writing a letter to my ex and explaining the legal facts of life to her, and giving her one final opportunity to settle things in a peaceful equitable manner, with the strong implication that if she chooses not to, the results will be expensive and counter productive to all concerned, (except the lawyers, of course). I’m praying that she will see reason and work with us on this. It takes an hour to get to my home from Medicine Hat and I think I cried most of the way. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m not built for confrontation, because I have to much empathy for everyone, but this time I have to be strong and stand up for my self, no matter how much it hurts. On the other issues I have, namely access to my children and having the rules followed on BOTH sides, she suggested a fairly new practice they have. Both parties (and their lawyers) meet and work through their issues in a non-courtroom situation. Whatever is decided at this conciliation meeting then becomes a legally binding agreement. This covers everything from child support to parenting to access and visitation. Sounds much better than an impersonal court case to me. That will happen some time in the new year…right after I come up with my 1000.00 retainer. I had another lawyer in mind to use for my upcoming divorce from Annette, but since he also requires a 1000.00 retainer, I might just as well use this current lawyer for both issues. At least divorcing my current wife promises to be inexpensive and quick. She has agreed to sign an affidavit stating that she is committing adultery and that will eliminate the year long waiting period. I just want all of this crap dealt with and in the past so that I can go on with my life. After being so sick for so long, I find life to be potentially wonderful and I’d like to be able to enjoy it…soon. All this stress is not at all good for me and I’m afraid it will ultimately bring on a new flare. I don’t believe I could handle that right now. I won’t say that I’m in total remission because I still have constant pain, but it’s so much better than it was and I don’t want to go back to not being able to walk, much less work. Keep me in your prayer and I’ll continue to do the same for all of you. On the work front, I load tomorrow to go to Houston. I can’t unload until Monday morning so I likely won’t leave town until sometime thursday. Compared to my last trip, Houston seems close to home. I’ve lived in Canada all my life and until the last couple of weeks, I had no idea just how vast this country is. Beautiful though. I told my dispatcher that I didn’t mind the idea of going across Canada now and then at all. Maybe next time I’ll get to go all the way to Newfoundland. I was almost there this time. Take care all…talk to you soon. http://www.monarch.net/users/Lynsplace/
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