Question:
> When my son was in first grade he had a teacher that was such a horror that > the parents banded together and insisted that she be taken out of the class. > These were little children that she had in tears daily, some so frightened >that they had nightmares and refused to go back to school. Early on, I went >to talk with her (before we had heard the stories from the other parents) >because my son was complaining that she frightened him. She did look rather >old and stern, but I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. When I >said my son was having fears about going to school, she immediately said that >this indicated problems in the home that he was acting out at school! I knew >better, though and told her so — he had always been a very bright and verbal >child who would definitely let us know immediately about any problem he was >experiencing. Unfortunately, some of the other parents were not so >self-assured, so it took until we got together and compared notes about this >teacher before they would believe their kids.
This reminds me of sixth grade (now that was a *long* time ago). I remember one kid being taken out of our class and put into another because of a personality conflict with the teacher. This was not necessarily a problem kid or a problem teacher. They just had a personality conflict. It happens. For me this was a wonderful teacher, one of my favorites. For this particular kid he wasn’t a wonderful teacher. Your problem sounds like a definate problem teacher. I just wanted to note that not everyone can get along and sometimes a change for one kid will take care of the problem. Nyoka (mom to Trevor 8/8/95)
Response:
> I believe parents need first to know their child,
In my opinion, this is fundamental to *all* parenting. It’s also something that’s not done nearly enough. How many times do we read in this newsgroup about parents for whom their offspring might as well be from another planet? Much of this is caused by not taking the time and trouble to really get to know where the kid is coming from. > I’m not saying the teachers are always right, but the > children have the most to gain by fabricating stories.
Actually, whoever is in the wrong has the most to gain by fabricating stories. > Unfortunately there are parents that always get conned by > their children and don’t listen to what the teacher is > observing.
For every such story you come up with, I bet I could come up with one where the *teacher* conned the parent and didn’t listen to what the *kid* had to say….. You had it right at the start when you said to listen to all sides and use your judgement. It’s just a bit of a challenge not to build a little bias into one’s judgement….
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I had an incident with a teacher that has made me quite wary of > completely trusting what the teacher has to say. My son was in first > grade and was apparently having a tough time and disrupting the class. > I went and sat in on class for a couple of hours one day and of course > mine was fine! *L* But I saw that the teacher was oblivious to some of > the goings on between some kids in the class. Well, about a month > later, I had a conference with her and she proceeded to tell me how > terribly my son behaved on a field trip on the previous Friday and that > she had to keep him right beside her for the whole day. > I looked at the teacher and said "Well, that’s funny, ’cause he was home > sick and missed the trip on Friday!" The teacher blushed with > embarrassment and I never got another bad report from her. > I am not saying this is standard for teachers, and I do trust what they > say for the most part, but I still try to get my child’s side of the > story too. > Laura H
My son came home with bites on 2 occasions from day care. Both times he’d been in with the smaller kids (he was borderline age), and both times it was with this one care giver that we’d only seen a couple of times there. After the second time she told me my child pushed and hit the other kids every time she had him, and that’s why he got bit. I was mortified. My child, one of "those" kids. I ended up talking to several of the care givers at the day care, and they all told me what a sweet child I have and how good he plays when he’s with them (both with the older and younger groups). Oddly enough, I’ve not seen that first care giver again, and he’s never come home with another bite. Nightingale
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I had an incident with a teacher that has made me quite wary of > completely trusting what the teacher has to say. My son was in first > grade and was apparently having a tough time and disrupting the class. > I went and sat in on class for a couple of hours one day and of course > mine was fine! *L* But I saw that the teacher was oblivious to some of > the goings on between some kids in the class. Well, about a month > later, I had a conference with her and she proceeded to tell me how > terribly my son behaved on a field trip on the previous Friday and that > she had to keep him right beside her for the whole day. > I looked at the teacher and said "Well, that’s funny, ’cause he was home > sick and missed the trip on Friday!" The teacher blushed with > embarrassment and I never got another bad report from her.
When my son was in first grade he had a teacher that was such a horror that the parents banded together and insisted that she be taken out of the class. These were little children that she had in tears daily, some so frightened that they had nightmares and refused to go back to school. Early on, I went to talk with her (before we had heard the stories from the other parents) because my son was complaining that she frightened him. She did look rather old and stern, but I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. When I said my son was having fears about going to school, she immediately said that this indicated problems in the home that he was acting out at school! I knew better, though and told her so — he had always been a very bright and verbal child who would definitely let us know immediately about any problem he was experiencing. Unfortunately, some of the other parents were not so self-assured, so it took until we got together and compared notes about this teacher before they would believe their kids.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I had an incident with a teacher that has made me quite wary of > completely trusting what the teacher has to say. My son was in first > grade and was apparently having a tough time and disrupting the class. > I went and sat in on class for a couple of hours one day and of course > mine was fine! *L* But I saw that the teacher was oblivious to some of > the goings on between some kids in the class. Well, about a month > later, I had a conference with her and she proceeded to tell me how > terribly my son behaved on a field trip on the previous Friday and that > she had to keep him right beside her for the whole day. > I looked at the teacher and said "Well, that’s funny, ’cause he was home > sick and missed the trip on Friday!" The teacher blushed with > embarrassment and I never got another bad report from her. > I am not saying this is standard for teachers, and I do trust what they > say for the most part, but I still try to get my child’s side of the > story too. > Laura H
I believe parents need first to know their child, and then of course they must listen to all sides and ask questions. I’m not saying the teachers are always right, but the children have the most to gain by fabricating stories. Unfortunately there are parents that always get conned by their children and don’t listen to what the teacher is observing. I enjoyed your observations. Rodger — "The great thing is this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving." Oliver Wendell Holmes – — – — – — – — – — – — – — – — Rastar Corp. -http://www.rastarinc.com/phonecop PHONECOP Home/Office Phone Enforcer
Response:
I used to see my kid’s teachers in the same light that I saw them as a child myself: perfect. THEN, I got to know a few teachers (1st thru 4th grade, some old, some young) who lived in my neighborhood and was SHOCKED to hear some of the things they would say about kids! Okay, true, we have all said nasty things about work from time to time, but to hear the hateful, mean, and just obnoxous things some of these teachers said about some of the kids that they just "didn’t like" made my blood run cold. The worst part about it was that these were nice people on the surface. Experienced educators who had no intention of leaving teaching…I’m sure no parent would question that they were doing a good job with their classroom. One of these teachers actually came right out before school was to start and said she HATED kids! Maybe they acted fine in class, but I know children well enough to know they pick up on attitudes, and so when I hear reports that my child was misbehaving in class the very first question I ask everyone, including myself is: WHY? Being stuck all day in a room with a person who doesn’t want to be there could have a negative effect on anyone. Kim
Response:
Thought provoking: I’d wager you’ll get a bulk of responses from parents that have become convinced the teacher is "out to get their child". Most of these parents won’t deal with the real problems, won’t sit down and talk with the teachers, and usually take their child’s word without question. They don’t work with the kids on a daily basis, …but then when a crisis occurs they pop out of the woodwork full of venome, blame and indignation. It is unfortunate that the "sticking up for kids" of the greatest worth, usually gets the least attention. What rarely gets attention is the parents that stick up for their children daily by spending time teaching & coaching. They are on the line and constantly shaping young minds. One such program that gets scarce attention is Odyssey of the Mind – An organization dedicated to foster creativity and self-assurance. Sorry – this is probably not what you want to hear, but unfortunately I see the scenario too often to stay silent. Rodger — "The great thing is this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving." Oliver Wendell Holmes – — – — – — – — – — – — – — – — Rastar Corp. -http://www.rastarinc.com/phonecop PHONECOP Home/Office Phone Enforcer
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Thought provoking: I’d wager you’ll get a bulk of responses > from parents that have become convinced the teacher is > "out to get their child". Most of these parents won’t > deal with the real problems, won’t sit down and > talk with the teachers, and usually take their child’s word > without question. They don’t work with the kids on a > daily basis, …but then when a crisis occurs they pop > out of the woodwork full of venome, blame and indignation. > It is unfortunate that the "sticking up for kids" of the > greatest worth, usually gets the least attention. > What rarely gets attention is the parents that stick up for > their children daily by spending time teaching & coaching. > They are on the line and constantly shaping young minds. > One such program that gets scarce attention is Odyssey of the > Mind – An organization dedicated to foster creativity and > self-assurance. > Sorry – this is probably not what you want to hear, > but unfortunately I see the scenario too often to stay silent. > Rodger
I had an incident with a teacher that has made me quite wary of completely trusting what the teacher has to say. My son was in first grade and was apparently having a tough time and disrupting the class. I went and sat in on class for a couple of hours one day and of course mine was fine! *L* But I saw that the teacher was oblivious to some of the goings on between some kids in the class. Well, about a month later, I had a conference with her and she proceeded to tell me how terribly my son behaved on a field trip on the previous Friday and that she had to keep him right beside her for the whole day. I looked at the teacher and said "Well, that’s funny, ’cause he was home sick and missed the trip on Friday!" The teacher blushed with embarrassment and I never got another bad report from her. I am not saying this is standard for teachers, and I do trust what they say for the most part, but I still try to get my child’s side of the story too. Laura H
Response:
Hi– For an article I’m writing for a national (and important) women’s magazine, I need stories from parents about times they went to bat for their kids. Specifically, I’m looking for a story about a kid who had teacher trouble, about a kid who was in with a bad bunch of kids, about a teen who got pregnant (or who got a girl pregnant), about a parents who felt they had to stick up for their child because the situation the child was in was potentially life-altering, and about a time parents helped the child fight a battle because the kid asked them too. In your email reply, please include your name and telephone number, a briefly describe your story. I will get back to you if I feel it suits the article. I can change names in the article to protect privacy. However, the magazine and I will know your real name, and a "fact checker" from the magazine will call you to confirm the details. Thanks a lot. I look forward to hearing these stories.
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.