Question:
Hello group…need some advice. My year and a half old son has recently started banging his head on any available hard surface when he’s upset. I know that this can be a way to relieve stress, but it’s really starting to concern me. He rarely–if ever–bangs himself hard enough to cause any sort of an injury. (He’s smart enough to know that hurting himself won’t solve anything!) As a stay-at-home-mother with only one child, I find it hard to believe that this is a cry for attention. Has anyone else had similar problems? When is a good point to step in and give him comfort without appearing to let the head banging "win"? I don’t want to inadvertently encourage this by giving it too much attention, but I don’t want to ignore it, either, as he keeps banging his head until he gets some sort of a reaction. Please help! Amanda
Response:
Okay…I should have read ahead first. I found the OTHER head banging posting and followed the URL supplied. Wonderful news! So, just ignore the posting, I ’spose.
Response:
My son (20 months) does the same thing. Sometimes if he’s mad and he’s not near the wall, he’ll actually look around for something to bang his head on…..sometimes he’ll get a running start and go flying head first into the wall. Other times, he’ll settle for the couch. The floor does just fine too when he’s mad. He’s even tried to bang his head off me! I brought this up with the doctor……she told me to just ignore it. It’s hard to do, but it’s seemed to have worked to some extent. He only does it now when he knows I’m watching (which tells me right away that it’s an attention getter) and he’ll bang his head, then look up to make sure I saw. If I pretend to not see him, he’ll stop. -Treelo – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hello group…need some advice. > My year and a half old son has recently started banging his head on any > available hard surface when he’s upset. I know that this can be a way to > relieve stress, but it’s really starting to concern me. He rarely–if > ever–bangs himself hard enough to cause any sort of an injury. (He’s smart > enough to know that hurting himself won’t solve anything!) > As a stay-at-home-mother with only one child, I find it hard to believe that > this is a cry for attention. Has anyone else had similar problems? When is > a good point to step in and give him comfort without appearing to let the > head banging "win"? I don’t want to inadvertently encourage this by giving > it too much attention, but I don’t want to ignore it, either, as he keeps > banging his head until he gets some sort of a reaction. > Please help! > Amanda
Response:
My son is three now. Boy did he bang his head when he was little! But now that he’s three, he will smack his hand on the wall, and "fake" injury for attention. Sometimes he will knock over a toy and cry "oh no, oh no, toy fall down" like it was an accident. I can hardly wait to see what comes next. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hello group…need some advice. > My year and a half old son has recently started banging his head on any > available hard surface when he’s upset. I know that this can be a way to > relieve stress, but it’s really starting to concern me. He rarely–if > ever–bangs himself hard enough to cause any sort of an injury. (He’s smart > enough to know that hurting himself won’t solve anything!) > As a stay-at-home-mother with only one child, I find it hard to believe that > this is a cry for attention. Has anyone else had similar problems? When is > a good point to step in and give him comfort without appearing to let the > head banging "win"? I don’t want to inadvertently encourage this by giving > it too much attention, but I don’t want to ignore it, either, as he keeps > banging his head until he gets some sort of a reaction. > Please help! > Amanda
Response:
+AD4-My son is three now. Boy did he bang his head when he was little+ACE- But +AD4-now that he’s three, he will smack his hand on the wall, and +ACI-fake+ACI- +AD4-injury for attention. Sometimes he will knock over a toy and cry +ACI-oh no, +AD4-oh no, toy fall down+ACI- like it was an accident. I can hardly wait to see +AD4-what comes next. Try body slamming the wall and saying +ACI-ow, I hurt my body+ACI- – that’s what my son was doing recently (he’ll be 4 next month). Heidi
Response:
Carol: Neat answer. You sound like a ’sensible’ Mom to me. Love your description of the current ’stage’ — made me smile and I could picture it! That kid’s the next Leonardo di Caprio. Bruce – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > It’s far from wisdom, but my son banged his head for a while, around age > 1. I found it was usually out of frustration or boredom. Sometimes > he’d do it and we’d laugh. That almost always stopped it. After a > while, he just outgrew it. Don’t overreact with fear, it’s just another > unique stage Our latest is the dropping to the knees then spread > eagling on the floor and pouting. This is done at home, in stores, at > friends…haha I smile, tell him I love him, walk over him and continue > on. (tho always have my eye on him) He gets up after 30 seconds… > Looking forward to stage#9999 
> Carol
Response:
It’s far from wisdom, but my son banged his head for a while, around age 1. I found it was usually out of frustration or boredom. Sometimes he’d do it and we’d laugh. That almost always stopped it. After a while, he just outgrew it. Don’t overreact with fear, it’s just another unique stage Our latest is the dropping to the knees then spread eagling on the floor and pouting. This is done at home, in stores, at friends…haha I smile, tell him I love him, walk over him and continue on. (tho always have my eye on him) He gets up after 30 seconds… Looking forward to stage#9999 Carol
Response:
I had to laugh when I read your note Carol. My son likes to do the same thing in regards to spreading eagle. Sometimes it’s associated with a fit, and sometimes he just gets so excited he has to roll around on the floor. We have hardwood floors on our house <no carpet at all> and he’s especially prone to sprawl out on carpets floors. I think he likes the feeling! Kids go through so many weird and wonderful stages! Liz
It’s far from wisdom, but my son banged his head for a while, around age 1. I found it was usually out of frustration or boredom. Sometimes he’d do it and we’d laugh. That almost always stopped it. After a while, he just outgrew it. Don’t overreact with fear, it’s just another unique stage Our latest is the dropping to the knees then spread eagling on the floor and pouting. This is done at home, in stores, at friends…haha I smile, tell him I love him, walk over him and continue on. (tho always have my eye on him) He gets up after 30 seconds… Looking forward to stage#9999 Carol
Response:
i am also interested in any wisdom swimming around out there. my son is 9.5 months old and bangs his head against the stove (i think he likes the noise), or the wall, or the kitchen cabinets…pretty much anything he can. sometimes he laughs, although once he banged it so hard he actually started to cry. he doesn’t do this during the night, though, but it is causing us some concern as well. it is nice to know some family out there is going through a similar situation. daniella (muma to austin 3/10/98)
Response:
Try putting some type of cushion in the crib for the child to prevent banging his head. It doesnt’ sound like tantruming/attention getting if he wakes up and then goes back to sleep on his own. Sounds more related to the sleep (dreams?) then the environment. Ron http://www.parentingtoolbox.com Join the Parenting Thoughts Newsletter!
Response:
Perhaps this subject has come up before. If so, please bear with me. My 15-month-old son has been waking somewhere around 3 or 4 am and banging his head against the side of the crib. He gets on all fours and pitches forward. I am talking rhythmic and with GUSTO. It wakes us up and creates much anxiety. Eventually, he falls back to sleep, but sometimes does it multiple times in one night. I have heard this is normal, but I wonder if anyone has any wisdom on the subject. Thanks in advance. Alison
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