Question:
> Unfortunately it seems to be up to the parent to find the right treatment > and solutions.
As the parent of a 9 yo ADHDer who has also been diagnosed with CAPD and is Highly Gifted, I can vouch that, yes, parents DO have to do a lot of the legwork themselves. We certainly have!!! However, there is NO WAY we could have done on our own, without the help of a whole support community, including psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, family doctors, social workers, special ed technicians and friends and relatives and a a wonderful support community right here, on the internet. I would NEVER recommend not seeing a doctors, especially when a four year old is stabbing, repetitively, a mattress with a knife!!! Next time, it could be a human being or a family pet that is stabbed. You were lucky if you could help your child with diets and exercises, however, for most of us, it is NEVER that simple. — Danielle, Writing from Canada Visit my new web-page, view new pics of the kids, and, please, sign my guest-book!! http://members.tripod.com/~dchenier/home.html My ICQ # is 6463692 Canadian Special Education Chat Room – http://members.tripod.com/~dchenier/Canspec &canspec ICQ # 33710657
Response:
>Yes, but anyone posting something like this to a newsgroup… To be >honest, I still think it’s a troll. Note she has not returned and >answered any posts. Stabbling the waterbed ten times was sort of a >clue, imho.. It’s possible it’s real, just not very likely.. >Dorothy
A few years ago, I probably would have thought the way you do. But my own adopted son developed neuropsyh problems…problems that I had never even heard of before that time. Then I learned. I started reading. I started talking with experts and with other parents. I learned some more. There ARE kids out there…yes, even 4 year olds…who have done similar things, and worse. Thankfully, kids with these sorts of problems are in the minority…but they are real, have very real problems, and there are professionals trained to work with them. There are also medications and behavior techniques that can help them. There IS help, there IS hope…but frankly, one thing that makes it all the harder for those of us having to live with it is the criticism of strangers who simply cannot imagine that a child could do such things. One resource I would recommend is the web site of the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation: http://www.bpkids.org. It has information and links. By no means am I saying that this particular child has bipolar – that is just one of many possibilities. But this is a starting point for sources of information about kids who are different. Vicki H.
Response:
>I used to take pills for hypertension too. I got it under control mentally >through meditation. I am off pills now for a year. Even with pills it was >170/100 and now i am 120something over 80 without meds. Did the same with >cholesterol. – Do not underestimate the power of your own brain.
Understood. Now I have to say that both her blood pressure and her diabetes have two things which cause them to go out of control (with or without meds). One is the medical "cause" and the other is poorly handled stress. Meditation works fine for the second. — Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.
Response:
>So do not take the doctors word for gospel – keep checking. > That needs to be said often and loudly. > Kathy has had hypertension since I knew her (cause and effect?). > The doctors gave her various drugs over the years. None of them > really controlled it effectively.
I used to take pills for hypertension too. I got it under control mentally through meditation. I am off pills now for a year. Even with pills it was 170/100 and now i am 120something over 80 without meds. Did the same with cholesterol. – Do not underestimate the power of your own brain. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Now, she also has pretty bad reactions to fish (which limits my > dinning pleasure). > Recently she decided to go to an herbalist/naturalist at a local > health food store. The guy is pretty good. He’s the one who > recommended the tea tree oil for my excema and it seems to have > cleared it uo. > See, she was tured of spending hundreds of dollars a week to get > drugs that both don’t work and have ugly side effects. > She listed all of her problems (I wonder if I was on the list. > Should have been, I’m sure) and the medicines that she was > taking. > He looked it over for a couple of days, then called her back. > In an off-handed manner, she mentioned that some of her problems > *might* be caused, not by the salt-caused-hypertension, but by > the iodine in the salt. > BINGO! > See, the fish that she is allergic to are only salt water fish. > Funny how, in over 30 yearts, not a single doctor even > *suggested* this as a possibility — not even after an iodine > injection for a scan of her knee caused an immediate and bad > reaction. > Do *not* rely only on the word of a doctor! > — > Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job. > It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.
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Response:
>Yes, but anyone posting something like this to a newsgroup… To be >honest, I still think it’s a troll. Note she has not returned and >answered any posts. Stabbling the waterbed ten times was sort of a >clue, imho.. It’s possible it’s real, just not very likely..
I dunno. Back in the 70s, we had a waterbed. I stabbed it a whole lot of times. Kathy kept moving outta the way, so she was never harmed, though. Glen "Bad Aim" Appleby — Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.
Response:
>So do not take the doctors word for gospel – keep checking.
That needs to be said often and loudly. Kathy has had hypertension since I knew her (cause and effect?). The doctors gave her various drugs over the years. None of them really controlled it effectively. Now, she also has pretty bad reactions to fish (which limits my dinning pleasure). Recently she decided to go to an herbalist/naturalist at a local health food store. The guy is pretty good. He’s the one who recommended the tea tree oil for my excema and it seems to have cleared it uo. See, she was tured of spending hundreds of dollars a week to get drugs that both don’t work and have ugly side effects. She listed all of her problems (I wonder if I was on the list. Should have been, I’m sure) and the medicines that she was taking. He looked it over for a couple of days, then called her back. In an off-handed manner, she mentioned that some of her problems *might* be caused, not by the salt-caused-hypertension, but by the iodine in the salt. BINGO! See, the fish that she is allergic to are only salt water fish. Funny how, in over 30 yearts, not a single doctor even *suggested* this as a possibility — not even after an iodine injection for a scan of her knee caused an immediate and bad reaction. Do *not* rely only on the word of a doctor! — Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.
Response:
>>This is probably a troll, but.. if it isn’t then maybe she will >answer some questions and we can help a bit. >Why would you possible presume this is a troll? There ARE kids who >have problems – be they neurological, psychiatric, developmental, >psychological, …. And kids who have problems need professional help. >I have an adopted son with neuropsych problems myself. If you haven’t >experienced this sort of thing personally or in anyone you know…be >grateful. It DOES happen, and when it does, you refer the person to >the resources that are trained to deal with this sort of thing. >Vicki H.
Yes, but anyone posting something like this to a newsgroup… To be honest, I still think it’s a troll. Note she has not returned and answered any posts. Stabbling the waterbed ten times was sort of a clue, imho.. It’s possible it’s real, just not very likely.. Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. source unknown
Response:
>This is probably a troll, but.. if it isn’t then maybe she will >answer some questions and we can help a bit.
Why would you possible presume this is a troll? There ARE kids who have problems – be they neurological, psychiatric, developmental, psychological, …. And kids who have problems need professional help. I have an adopted son with neuropsych problems myself. If you haven’t experienced this sort of thing personally or in anyone you know…be grateful. It DOES happen, and when it does, you refer the person to the resources that are trained to deal with this sort of thing. Vicki H.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->My 4 year old is in his 2 week of pre-k and they are threatening to >remove him because he isn’t following class routine and isn’t >interacting well with the other children. Today when I came home from >work my husband explains to me that our son had gotten a knife and >slashed our waterbed. Not once but like 10 times. I asked him why he >did it and he tells me he doesn’t know. What do I do? > Call your doctor immediately. Your doctor can give you a referral for > further evaluation. It is impossible for anyone here to say whether > the problem is neurological, psychiatric, psychological, or a > combination. But there ARE professionals who can help you sort out > what is going on and how to address it. That is why they are there. > Please call today. > Vicki H.
And you have to keep digging and pushing them and get second and third opinions and do a lot of research yourself. In my case the doctors did very little. They classified DS as DCD (Developmental Coordination Disorder) and that was the end of it and nobody kept looking He too was kicked out of Pre-school at age 3.5. Through my own research and reading I found that he also had a reaction to artificial food-coloring/flavors and sugar. Kool-aid worked on him like a bad drug – he started to knock over and throw things and get totally uncontrollable. After we figured that out and removed it from his diet – he got much better – not perfect. He also had STNR and ASTNR and we did exercises for that and eliminated that problem. And I am still researching. In special ed program he started out as "uncontrollable" with an aid sitting next to him at age 4 to control him to now at age 7 "inconsistent and an occasional pain in the … " which is a definite improval. Pediatrician wanted at age 3 to put him on Ritalin, Neurologist said he had motor control problems – developmental – can’t do nothing about it. Psychologist tried to find things that bother him. Unfortunately it seems to be up to the parent to find the right treatment and solutions. So do not take the doctors word for gospel – keep checking. — Free Spirit Founding Father of the Church of Personal Freedom First Knight of the Knights of Personal Freedom. Posted Via Uncensored-News.Com – Still Only $9.95 – http://www.uncensored-news.com With Servers In California, Texas And Virginia – The Worlds Uncensored News Source
Response:
> My 4 year old is in his 2 week of pre-k and they are threatening to > remove him because he isn’t following class routine and isn’t > interacting well with the other children. Today when I came home from > work my husband explains to me that our son had gotten a knife and > slashed our waterbed. Not once but like 10 times. I asked him why he > did it and he tells me he doesn’t know. What do I do?
Ten times? Eh? "He blew up a balloon and popped it – TEN TIMES!" That must have been a feat.
Response:
>My 4 year old is in his 2 week of pre-k and they are threatening to >remove him because he isn’t following class routine and isn’t >interacting well with the other children. Today when I came home from >work my husband explains to me that our son had gotten a knife and >slashed our waterbed. Not once but like 10 times. I asked him why he >did it and he tells me he doesn’t know. What do I do?
Call your doctor immediately. Your doctor can give you a referral for further evaluation. It is impossible for anyone here to say whether the problem is neurological, psychiatric, psychological, or a combination. But there ARE professionals who can help you sort out what is going on and how to address it. That is why they are there. Please call today. Vicki H.
Response:
This is probably a troll, but.. if it isn’t then maybe she will answer some questions and we can help a bit. >My 4 year old is in his 2 week of pre-k and they are threatening to >remove him because he isn’t following class routine and isn’t >interacting well with the other children. Today when I came home from >work my husband explains to me that our son had gotten a knife and >slashed our waterbed. Not once but like 10 times. I asked him why he >did it and he tells me he doesn’t know. What do I do?
Is this the very first incidence of such behavior? What exactly is he doing at school? Has anything changed at home? New sibling? Divorce? Death of a grandparent? Or anything that might be troubling him? Is this his first experience with care outside of the home? What kind of discipline do you usually use when he *misbehaves?* Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. source unknown
Response:
There is rage and hatred against you…and your husband, probably….but why? This poor little guy is suffering and you have to find out all about it. To me it it looks simple. He is terrified of abandonment…he’s too young for pre-k, right now. Off the top of my pointed head, I would say: He needs a longer close association with a parent/parents to build security. Every child is different. Every child is ready for things at a different time. NO "rules" apply. Every child can tell you all about himself if you take the time and pay attention. From what you say, I would guess he has felt abandoned by you for some time, due to your working and not "being there" enough. But please correct me if I’m wrong about that, as I don’t really know your situation. Some thoughts I have, not necessarily…or not at all…related to Sarah: I have been amazed for years at the phrase (mostly-absent) parents use of: "quality time". I think it means nothing. The kind of time that is NEEDED…is "quantity time", in my opinion. Quantity time means that a parent is ‘there’…..ACCESSIBLE….for the moments when The Important Things happen. And "Important Things" for children pop up randomly….and at a moment’s notice. You cannot take a small human being and sit down for an hour-or-so a day for "quality time"….and think it means anything….or GIVES a child what it NEEDS. A child’s day is filled with: Different emotional states….questions that they have….struggles with kiddie "ethical-situations"…..struggles with power-imbalances with their peers…..frustrating moments where they "fail"….or where they "succeed". Moments of sudden fear where they need comforting….or moments of great elation that they need to share with those they feel closest to…because it feels EVEN BETTER then. Moments where they are puzzled…or have a sudden insight they ant to bounce off you. And on, and on, and on. These moments-of-living-and-learning should be spent more with the people the child loves and trusts the most…..parents. And not with day-care strangers, if at all possible. Of course I am not saying a child spends all day with an at-home parent. I fact they shouldn’t. But the parent IS ACCESSIBLE….in person….for the myriad things that will crop up. That’s how I feel about the first 5 years. If people don’t think it’s "fun" to do this….then I cannot get over my perplexity as to why they even BOTHERED to have children. Our mother was "at home" (usually involved in some ‘creative’ project’….or yakking with a visitor, or on the phone.) And the most wonderful learning and growing experiences I remember were when I would RUSH IN….all excited!….or all miserable….or DYING to know something…..or NEEDING to learn something….or just wanting to watch her and be with her for a little while. And then I’d take off again. She was never too busy….and she was usually fascinated. What parents give to children….and what children need to get from parents….cannot be delivered on a schedule. Especially a stingy-with-time one. For whatever it’s worth, G22
Response:
> My 4 year old is in his 2 week of pre-k and they are threatening to > remove him because he isn’t following class routine and isn’t > interacting well with the other children. Today when I came home from > work my husband explains to me that our son had gotten a knife and > slashed our waterbed. Not once but like 10 times. I asked him why he > did it and he tells me he doesn’t know. What do I do? > Before you buy.
That kind of behavior from a four year ols is MAJOR cause for concern! I serously would consider seeking professional assistance. Those sound like homocidal tendancies to me and given that we are talking about possible abuse or even a chemical imbalance of some sort. In the meantime, cut out the sugar, caffeine and maybe invest in a punching bag until this little guy has his problems sorted out. Poor thing, a little baby like that should not have extreme violence as a plausible alternative in his life….that is too sad. Sarah Mom to Kalen (9) and Victoria (9 months)
Response:
My 4 year old is in his 2 week of pre-k and they are threatening to remove him because he isn’t following class routine and isn’t interacting well with the other children. Today when I came home from work my husband explains to me that our son had gotten a knife and slashed our waterbed. Not once but like 10 times. I asked him why he did it and he tells me he doesn’t know. What do I do? Before you buy.
Response:
What do you do now? If he were mine, I’d take him to a doctor. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My 4 year old is in his 2 week of pre-k and they are threatening to > remove him because he isn’t following class routine and isn’t > interacting well with the other children. Today when I came home from > work my husband explains to me that our son had gotten a knife and > slashed our waterbed. Not once but like 10 times. I asked him why he > did it and he tells me he doesn’t know. What do I do? > Before you buy.
Response:
>> My 4 year old is in his 2 week of pre-k and they are threatening to > remove him because he isn’t following class routine and isn’t > interacting well with the other children. Today when I came home from > work my husband explains to me that our son had gotten a knife and > slashed our waterbed. Not once but like 10 times. I asked him why he > did it and he tells me he doesn’t know. What do I do? >This is VERY unusual for a four year-old. He has an INCREDIBLE amount of >anger because someone has been beating on him. Kids who are beaten or >otherwise physically and/or sexually abused do that. Kids age four who >are not abused NEVER do. Remove anyone from his life who might be the >cause of this, even secretly. Then go get him help quick!!! >Steve
Before you insist that this is the ONLY possible answer, have the child checked for physical issues. I have a friend whose child has a neurological disorder that can make him extremely aggressive when he is overstimulated. You never know. – Blanche
Response:
> My 4 year old is in his 2 week of pre-k and they are threatening to > remove him because he isn’t following class routine and isn’t > interacting well with the other children. Today when I came home from > work my husband explains to me that our son had gotten a knife and > slashed our waterbed. Not once but like 10 times. I asked him why he > did it and he tells me he doesn’t know. What do I do?
This is VERY unusual for a four year-old. He has an INCREDIBLE amount of anger because someone has been beating on him. Kids who are beaten or otherwise physically and/or sexually abused do that. Kids age four who are not abused NEVER do. Remove anyone from his life who might be the cause of this, even secretly. Then go get him help quick!!! Steve
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