Question:
>Not all wage-earning mothers are working because they >want to. I would trade the guilt I suffered for your insecurities any day. >Amanda
I don’t consider the name calling appropriate, but thought I would take this opportunity to express I have nothing to be insecure about since you apparently thought I did. I have everything a woman could want as I see this is the case with many other mothers in this NG. I have a wonderful loving husband, a beautiful home, adorable children, etc..etc… I have nothing to be insecure about at all. I just vented about people making a comment about me being a homemaker…I am not insecure about raising my children at all. I know they feel loved and I know it because I am the one raising them. Sorry to hear you have guilt. Michelle….mommy of 3
Response:
>>Not all wage-earning mothers are working because they >want to. I would trade the guilt I suffered for your insecurities any day. >>Amanda
"Amanda" did not write that, I did. >I don’t consider the name calling appropriate,
Who is calling anyone names? >but thought I would take this >opportunity to express I have nothing to be insecure about since you apparently >thought I did. I have everything a woman could want as I see this is the case >with many other mothers in this NG. I have a wonderful loving husband, a >beautiful home, adorable children, etc..etc… I have nothing to be insecure >about at all. I just vented about people making a comment about me being a >homemaker…I am not insecure about raising my children at all. I know they >feel loved and I know it because I am the one raising them. Sorry to hear you >have guilt.
I thought all humans had insecurities. At least all parents!. Apparently I was mistaken. Good for you that you can be so perfect, although methinks you doth protest too much. Why so defensive?
Response:
>I appreciate the struggles and sacrifices you have made. Do you appreciate >mine? >Calling me ‘insecure’ however, is a cheap shot as you don’t know me. Name >calling is *so* uncalled for.
I said I would trade my guilt for your insecurities anytime. If you don’t have any, I guess I get the better deal! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Different women, different lives, different motivations. >Amanda > >I don’t believe that anyone was ‘putting down’ mothers that didn’t stay > home > >with their children…we’ve merely been saying that being a SAHM mom >isn’t > >as easy as a lot of folks tend to think it is. You might want to re-read > >the entire thread. > When I was a single working mother who also attended school full time, the > dishes still needed to be done, the laundry, the cleaning, etc. The only > thing I was unable to do was raise my child, as the daycare/sitters did > that. > But this is better than living off welfare, no? > Not everyone has the luxury of a two-parent lifestyle, let alone a > two-income lifestyle. Not all wage-earning mothers are working because >they > want to. I would trade the guilt I suffered for your insecurities any >day. > >Amanda
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >> You have no idea how lucky you are that you can afford to stay home and > >> just do "mom" things. You have no right to put down others who don’t > >> have that luxury.
Response:
I appreciate the struggles and sacrifices you have made. Do you appreciate mine? Calling me ‘insecure’ however, is a cheap shot as you don’t know me. Name calling is *so* uncalled for. Different women, different lives, different motivations. Amanda
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I don’t believe that anyone was ‘putting down’ mothers that didn’t stay > home >with their children…we’ve merely been saying that being a SAHM mom isn’t >as easy as a lot of folks tend to think it is. You might want to re-read >the entire thread. > When I was a single working mother who also attended school full time, the > dishes still needed to be done, the laundry, the cleaning, etc. The only > thing I was unable to do was raise my child, as the daycare/sitters did > that. > But this is better than living off welfare, no? > Not everyone has the luxury of a two-parent lifestyle, let alone a > two-income lifestyle. Not all wage-earning mothers are working because they > want to. I would trade the guilt I suffered for your insecurities any day. >Amanda >> You have no idea how lucky you are that you can afford to stay home and >> just do "mom" things. You have no right to put down others who don’t >> have that luxury.
Response:
Yes, Homemakers do get a raw deal–so to speak–when it comes to respect from the working world. On the other hand, when I get the comment "must be nice" I smile so big and say "Yes, it is! I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m sorry you have to work and miss so much of life." Usually there is no comment back, just a look of realism. Makes my day every time:) Carol
Response:
>I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you >work?
Michelle, I totally agree with you. I quit my job 2 years ago to stay home with my kids. When someone asks me for a work number I simply tell them it’s the same as my home. If I am asked where I work or what I do I tell people that I work at home raising my children. It actually seems to me that more women are doing this. We give up a lot because of the lack of my paycheck but it’s worth it. Kim Mommy of 2
Response:
>I don’t believe that anyone was ‘putting down’ mothers that didn’t stay home >with their children…we’ve merely been saying that being a SAHM mom isn’t >as easy as a lot of folks tend to think it is. You might want to re-read >the entire thread.
When I was a single working mother who also attended school full time, the dishes still needed to be done, the laundry, the cleaning, etc. The only thing I was unable to do was raise my child, as the daycare/sitters did that. But this is better than living off welfare, no? Not everyone has the luxury of a two-parent lifestyle, let alone a two-income lifestyle. Not all wage-earning mothers are working because they want to. I would trade the guilt I suffered for your insecurities any day. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Amanda > You have no idea how lucky you are that you can afford to stay home and > just do "mom" things. You have no right to put down others who don’t > have that luxury.
Response:
>>I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you >work? >Michelle, >I totally agree with you. I quit my job 2 years ago to stay home with my kids. > When someone asks me for a work number I simply tell them it’s the same as my >home. If I am asked where I work or what I do I tell people that I work at >home raising my children. It actually seems to me that more women are doing >this. We give up a lot because of the lack of my paycheck but it’s worth it.
I really think it is a great choice IF you can swing it. And of course, it can be dad if that works out better. It takes a lot of sacrifice, but, imho, it is worth all the sacrifice not to miss the precious moments that you miss if you must work and have your children in a childcare center or with a nanny. Did if with mine and loved every minute of it. Would not change that decision at all. Dorothy
Response:
I don’t believe that anyone was ‘putting down’ mothers that didn’t stay home with their children…we’ve merely been saying that being a SAHM mom isn’t as easy as a lot of folks tend to think it is. You might want to re-read the entire thread. Amanda – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I have just read this whole thread, and it seems that many stay-at-home > moms are insecure about being moms who stay home. > With my first child, I stayed home and did all the things mentioned in > the post below. It wasn’t "hard." I was doing what I loved doing, and > it was fun. I was able to devote all my time and energy to my child and > making a home for him. > Several years later, with my second child, I am doing all the things in > the post below PLUS working.I can say, without a doubt, that staying > home without having to work is much easier. What I am now doing is very > hard. I am juggling everything, all the parenting, the wage earning, > everything. > It would be nice if I could honestly say that it’s just as hard to have > a full-time life of cooking, cleaning and caring for my kids as it is > to do all that plus working. It would be nice to say it . . . but it > simply isn’t true. > You have no idea how lucky you are that you can afford to stay home and > just do "mom" things. You have no right to put down others who don’t > have that luxury. > Avril > I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do > you work? > I simply say I stay home with my children right now…..they > say….Oh, you > don’t work…it must be nice. HA!! > It slays me how people think by working they are doing more. I am > not a sit at > home eat my bon-bons kind of mom…I am extrememly busy all the > time. I am > several things…here is a small list > Domestic Engineer > Taxi driver > Maid > Housekeeper > Chef > Accountant > Team mom > Teacher > Counselor > not to mention what I do for myself in the time I get…which is few > and far > between. I don’t get lunch breaks…I certainly don’t get 10 minute > smoke > breaks (although I take them) I don’t get to complain when things > aren’t done > right…and certainly…I can’t quit!! I think homemakers deserve a > lot of > credit. We do a lot to keep our kids with us and keep things > running. The > next time someone states that I don’t work…I’m going to remind them > of all > the things in a day that their baby-sitter does for their kids while > they work > and let them know that’s what I do for my own kids….Sorry…had to > vent…..I > feel better > Michelle….mommy of 3 > Share what you know. Learn what you don’t.
Response:
Well, I am sick of that too. But last week my husband had to take the day off of work to stay with our daughter because my mother was having back surgery. I got home around 4:30 in the afternoon and he was so tired. He begged me to take my daughter and I said "but honey you haven’t made dinner yet, picked up the house, or cleaned up dinner yet" he looked at me and said "how do you do it?" Well, it made me feel good, I didn’t take my daughter thought because I made dinner, etc. The next day I called him at work at lunch time and told him all that I had done that morning. " I vacuumed upstairs, picked up the bedrooms, clean the bathroom, vacuumed downstairs, the kitchen also, clean the entire kitchen from yesterday, cleaned the 1/2 bath, and did 3 loads of laundry and it was only 12:25 in the afternoon." Well, he was glad to be at work and I was glad to be with my daughter all day. I love it when reality hits them. Tricia and baby Sarah – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you work? > I simply say I stay home with my children right now…..they say….Oh, you > don’t work…it must be nice. HA!! > It slays me how people think by working they are doing more. I am not a sit at > home eat my bon-bons kind of mom…I am extrememly busy all the time. I am > several things…here is a small list > Domestic Engineer > Taxi driver > Maid > Housekeeper > Chef > Accountant > Team mom > Teacher > Counselor > not to mention what I do for myself in the time I get…which is few and far > between. I don’t get lunch breaks…I certainly don’t get 10 minute smoke > breaks (although I take them) I don’t get to complain when things aren’t done > right…and certainly…I can’t quit!! I think homemakers deserve a lot of > credit. We do a lot to keep our kids with us and keep things running. The > next time someone states that I don’t work…I’m going to remind them of all > the things in a day that their baby-sitter does for their kids while they work > and let them know that’s what I do for my own kids….Sorry…had to vent…..I > feel better > Michelle….mommy of 3
Response:
> Hi! > Acctually, I usually just get compliments when I say I’m a homemaker. And I’m > proud of what I am doing, raising my own child instead of handing him over to > someone else. The humans is the only spiecie who have kids and then let someone > else take care of them, and for what reason? So they can have a carriere?
Vast number of critters on this planet either 1) lay eggs, go off and do whatever the heck they want with the rest of their lives or 2) Eat their young Or both. How many species do you know that take care of their young for 18 years or more? Enid
Response:
That’s true, but how many kindergarden for hmmm, let’s say cows, are there today? That is if they are given the chance of taking care of their youngs themself. And many spices don’t live for 18 years, so for that I guess we have to talk in "dog-years"??? And yes, a working mom sure beats eating up your litter… Veronica – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi! > Acctually, I usually just get compliments when I say I’m a homemaker. And I’m > proud of what I am doing, raising my own child instead of handing him over to > someone else. The humans is the only spiecie who have kids and then let someone > else take care of them, and for what reason? So they can have a carriere? > Vast number of critters on this planet either > 1) lay eggs, go off and do whatever the heck they want with the rest of > their > lives > or > 2) Eat their young > Or both. How many species do you know that take care of their young > for 18 years or more? > Enid
Response:
I must admit that in my daily activities, I haven’t yet run into any of the idiots that think staying home with children are easy. I’ve been lucky that when I answer that I stay home with our children, most people chime in with, "that’s work!" On the few occasions when someone hasn’t said anything, my husband has been there to loudly add that I have the hardest and most important job in the world. After that, I guess most people agree without choice.<BG> The important thing is to wholeheartedly believe in what we do and also for us to really "want" to do it. I’ve had quite a few conversations with family in regard to our parenting choices. They don’t ruffle me at all. I know we’re right in doing whatever we possible can to raise our children in the best possible way. Don’t let the small minded get you down. Mainmom to Tara (13) Joseph (4) Sierra (3)
Response:
How odd. I have been thinking about this for the past couple of days too. I was thinking of "nurse" to add to the list, unless it is already there. I just read the original post. Sara
Response:
I have just read this whole thread, and it seems that many stay-at-home moms are insecure about being moms who stay home. With my first child, I stayed home and did all the things mentioned in the post below. It wasn’t "hard." I was doing what I loved doing, and it was fun. I was able to devote all my time and energy to my child and making a home for him. Several years later, with my second child, I am doing all the things in the post below PLUS working.I can say, without a doubt, that staying home without having to work is much easier. What I am now doing is very hard. I am juggling everything, all the parenting, the wage earning, everything. It would be nice if I could honestly say that it’s just as hard to have a full-time life of cooking, cleaning and caring for my kids as it is to do all that plus working. It would be nice to say it . . . but it simply isn’t true. You have no idea how lucky you are that you can afford to stay home and just do "mom" things. You have no right to put down others who don’t have that luxury. Avril – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you work? > I simply say I stay home with my children right now…..they say….Oh, you > don’t work…it must be nice. HA!! > It slays me how people think by working they are doing more. I am not a sit at > home eat my bon-bons kind of mom…I am extrememly busy all the time. I am > several things…here is a small list > Domestic Engineer > Taxi driver > Maid > Housekeeper > Chef > Accountant > Team mom > Teacher > Counselor > not to mention what I do for myself in the time I get…which is few and far > between. I don’t get lunch breaks…I certainly don’t get 10 minute smoke > breaks (although I take them) I don’t get to complain when things aren’t done > right…and certainly…I can’t quit!! I think homemakers deserve a lot of > credit. We do a lot to keep our kids with us and keep things running. The > next time someone states that I don’t work…I’m going to remind them of all > the things in a day that their baby-sitter does for their kids while they work > and let them know that’s what I do for my own kids….Sorry…had to vent…..I > feel better > Michelle….mommy of 3
Share what you know. Learn what you don’t.
Response:
Hi! Acctually, I usually just get compliments when I say I’m a homemaker. And I’m proud of what I am doing, raising my own child instead of handing him over to someone else. The humans is the only spiecie who have kids and then let someone else take care of them, and for what reason? So they can have a carriere? The greatest carriere one can have is to raise a family and if I can bring good, secure and happy people in to the world, my "mission" here in life is done! We are fortunate enough that I can stay at home, I know that there are many women who has to work and I would to if I didn’t have any option. But then I really would have envied all the so called "stay-at home" moms. Veronica – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you work? > I simply say I stay home with my children right now…..they say….Oh, you > don’t work…it must be nice. HA!! > It slays me how people think by working they are doing more. I am not a sit at > home eat my bon-bons kind of mom…I am extrememly busy all the time. I am > several things…here is a small list > Domestic Engineer > Taxi driver > Maid > Housekeeper > Chef > Accountant > Team mom > Teacher > Counselor > not to mention what I do for myself in the time I get…which is few and far > between. I don’t get lunch breaks…I certainly don’t get 10 minute smoke > breaks (although I take them) I don’t get to complain when things aren’t done > right…and certainly…I can’t quit!! I think homemakers deserve a lot of > credit. We do a lot to keep our kids with us and keep things running. The > next time someone states that I don’t work…I’m going to remind them of all > the things in a day that their baby-sitter does for their kids while they work > and let them know that’s what I do for my own kids….Sorry…had to vent…..I > feel better > Michelle….mommy of 3
Response:
>I stopped fighting that battle. Now, I tell people that I am the CEO of a >small family run business. Hey, it’s true!!!
I am the owner of JLMA productions {John Laura Melissa and Alex} heeheehee –The above post was written and scripted by the adorably insane {and modest} Laura — Wicked Witch of the Net — Discourage inbreeding- ban country music
Response:
LOL! What a GREAT idea!! Cally ceo of Samantha and Mackenzie Inc. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I stopped fighting that battle. Now, I tell people that I am the CEO of a > small family run business. Hey, it’s true!!! > Amanda > I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you > work? > I simply say I stay home with my children right now…..they say….Oh, > you > don’t work…it must be nice. HA!! > It slays me how people think by working they are doing more. I am not a > sit at > home eat my bon-bons kind of mom…I am extrememly busy all the time. I > am > several things…here is a small list > Domestic Engineer > Taxi driver > Maid > Housekeeper > Chef > Accountant > Team mom > Teacher > Counselor > not to mention what I do for myself in the time I get…which is few and > far > between. I don’t get lunch breaks…I certainly don’t get 10 minute smoke > breaks (although I take them) I don’t get to complain when things aren’t > done > right…and certainly…I can’t quit!! I think homemakers deserve a lot > of > credit. We do a lot to keep our kids with us and keep things running. > The > next time someone states that I don’t work…I’m going to remind them of > all > the things in a day that their baby-sitter does for their kids while they > work > and let them know that’s what I do for my own kids….Sorry…had to > vent…..I > feel better > Michelle….mommy of 3
Response:
I know how you feel. I am in school 3 times a week, 2 hours at a time while my husband keeps the kids. In one of my classes, the teacher went around asking all of us where we work, and asking questions about everyone’s job. Because of where I was sitting, I was the last one asked. I was the only one out of the whole class that doesn’t work. When I told him I stay home with my children, he said "Oh" and started teaching. I felt like a mouse. I have a few friends at school who have small children, go to work in the mornings, go get the kids from sitters and take them to another sitters and go to school, then go pick them up and put them to bed then complain about their kids being hyper when they finally get to see them! I understand having to work, but NEVER complain about your children being excited to see you and jumping on you hugging you. I’ve babysat one girl’s kids and she made me mad fussing at her son for that. I love coming home from school and mine running to me and jump on me. After I graduate, I will not work, I will continue being an at-home mother. Marie
>I am just about up to my neck with listening to people
say…Where do you work? > I simply say I stay home with my children right
now…..they say….Oh, you >don’t work…it must be nice. HA!! >It slays me how people think by working they are doing
more. I am not a sit at >home eat my bon-bons kind of mom…I am extrememly
busy all the time. I am >several things…here is a small list >Domestic Engineer >Taxi driver >Maid >Housekeeper >Chef >Accountant >Team mom >Teacher >Counselor >not to mention what I do for myself in the time I
get…which is few and far >between. I don’t get lunch breaks…I certainly don’t get 10 minute smoke >breaks (although I take them) I don’t get to complain
when things aren’t done >right…and certainly…I can’t quit!! I think
homemakers deserve a lot of >credit. We do a lot to keep our kids with us and keep
things running. The >next time someone states that I don’t work…I’m going
to remind them of all >the things in a day that their baby-sitter does for
their kids while they work >and let them know that’s what I do for my own
kids….Sorry…had to vent…..I – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->feel better >Michelle….mommy of 3
Response:
I’ve often told people who ask that I’m a full time mediator; a chef; a professional organizer; I hardly ever say stay at home mom. Marie B.
Response:
> I’ve often told people who ask that I’m a full time mediator; a chef; a > professional organizer; I hardly ever say stay at home mom. > Marie B.
I tell people I’m a housewife. Frankly, if they don’t like that, it is really their problem, not mine. (Okay, and it’s not strictly true, in my case, either, as I have any number of piddly little part-time jobs….). Enid
Response:
I stopped fighting that battle. Now, I tell people that I am the CEO of a small family run business. Hey, it’s true!!! Amanda
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you work? > I simply say I stay home with my children right now…..they say….Oh, you > don’t work…it must be nice. HA!! > It slays me how people think by working they are doing more. I am not a sit at > home eat my bon-bons kind of mom…I am extrememly busy all the time. I am > several things…here is a small list > Domestic Engineer > Taxi driver > Maid > Housekeeper > Chef > Accountant > Team mom > Teacher > Counselor > not to mention what I do for myself in the time I get…which is few and far > between. I don’t get lunch breaks…I certainly don’t get 10 minute smoke > breaks (although I take them) I don’t get to complain when things aren’t done > right…and certainly…I can’t quit!! I think homemakers deserve a lot of > credit. We do a lot to keep our kids with us and keep things running. The > next time someone states that I don’t work…I’m going to remind them of all > the things in a day that their baby-sitter does for their kids while they work > and let them know that’s what I do for my own kids….Sorry…had to vent…..I > feel better > Michelle….mommy of 3
Response:
> I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you work? > I simply say I stay home with my children right now…..they say….Oh, you > don’t work…it must be nice. HA!!
I know what you mean!!! That is a big pet peeve of mine. One guy who moved into the neighborhood asked when meeting me "Do you work?" I said that yes I work very hard at home with my children. I went on to tell him that Stay Home Mothers (Parents) work just as hard if not harder than people who are gainfully employed. Of course none of this sunk through his skull as he said back to me "My wife doesn’t work either." GRRRRR. Hard to have a discussion with someone who doesn’t listen to what the other party is saying. Sharon
Response:
I had a good firend once who looked at me when I was SAHM and said she just didn’t know how I did it, that she’d never be able to just sit at home all day. I told her I’d never be able to do that either, and then listed all the things I did during the day with 2 samall kids–she gave me a very large appology. Lesa
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you work? > I simply say I stay home with my children right now…..they say….Oh, you > don’t work…it must be nice. HA!! > It slays me how people think by working they are doing more. I am not a sit at > home eat my bon-bons kind of mom…I am extrememly busy all the time. I am > several things…here is a small list > Domestic Engineer > Taxi driver > Maid > Housekeeper > Chef > Accountant > Team mom > Teacher > Counselor > not to mention what I do for myself in the time I get…which is few and far > between. I don’t get lunch breaks…I certainly don’t get 10 minute smoke > breaks (although I take them) I don’t get to complain when things aren’t done > right…and certainly…I can’t quit!! I think homemakers deserve a lot of > credit. We do a lot to keep our kids with us and keep things running. The > next time someone states that I don’t work…I’m going to remind them of all > the things in a day that their baby-sitter does for their kids while they work > and let them know that’s what I do for my own kids….Sorry…had to vent…..I > feel better > Michelle….mommy of 3
Response:
I am just about up to my neck with listening to people say…Where do you work? I simply say I stay home with my children right now…..they say….Oh, you don’t work…it must be nice. HA!! It slays me how people think by working they are doing more. I am not a sit at home eat my bon-bons kind of mom…I am extrememly busy all the time. I am several things…here is a small list Domestic Engineer Taxi driver Maid Housekeeper Chef Accountant Team mom Teacher Counselor not to mention what I do for myself in the time I get…which is few and far between. I don’t get lunch breaks…I certainly don’t get 10 minute smoke breaks (although I take them) I don’t get to complain when things aren’t done right…and certainly…I can’t quit!! I think homemakers deserve a lot of credit. We do a lot to keep our kids with us and keep things running. The next time someone states that I don’t work…I’m going to remind them of all the things in a day that their baby-sitter does for their kids while they work and let them know that’s what I do for my own kids….Sorry…had to vent…..I feel better Michelle….mommy of 3
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