Pure Parents

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > … > : extending his already late bedtime (9-9:30) to the 10-10:30 realm. As > : his preschool teacher said, if her daughter went to bed at 10 every > : night, she would be certifiably insane (the teacher, not the daughter). > : I feel myself becoming psycho mom. Any pearls of wisdom? > … > Howdy Lisa, > You are not alone.  My almost 3 year old son goes to bed around 9:30pm. > Sometime ago, my husband and I decided that we liked our son on a > later bedtime to share more time together.  Plus we needed to do > nebulizer treatments for asthma – we enjoyed the quiet time, and > the easy way of getting him to bed (he would be tired!). > Well, overtime we realized we were all getting sleep deprived – > – because our bedtimes would be much later after our son went to sleep. > Now we start dinner earlier, if he does not eat, oh well – only one > cookie and milk before going to bed (and brushing teeth), up to 3 books > and that’s it.  Recently our son did not eat dinner, he said he was hungry, > so instead of a cookie he had a yogurt.  If he eats a light dinner, he > eats a bigger breakfast or lunch the next day. > Before you become psycho Mom, try keeping track of his food/sleep > schedule over a couple of normal days, and try changing the schedule > alittle at a time to get him closer to the time you feel is a reasonable > bedtime.  Maybe a snack at 8:30pm – or a later dinner, or no snack > after 4:00pm – or an early dinner? > We mapped out our sons days and realized he got a snack late, we would > exercise late, eat late, and his bedtime ritual was over hour long!  So we > made changes, like exercising during lunchtime instead of after work, > starting dinner earlier, cutting down the bedtime ritual – we slowly > (and still) making changes on this…to keep to 9 – 9:30pm bedtime > which is reasonable for us. > Best of luck, > Phyllis

Thanks to Phyllis and everyone who replied to my horror story (calling it a horror story was a bit of a stretch, wasn’t it?). It seems all it took was turning the clocks back and getting over an infection that was messing up Max’s appetite and everything’s pretty terrific at our house right now. He’s eating a good dinner and getting to bed by 8:30-8:45. I’m thrilled to have a few hours of relaxation before I turn in. I think in retrospect that he had been gradually shifting his waking hours later and later and when we turned the clocks back, he ended up in quite a good pattern. Now I just have to keep it there. Thanks again for everyone’s suggestions, even though I didn’t end up needing them this time. I’m always interested to hear how people cope with these things. Oh, and I wanted to share a bit of advice my son’s preschool teacher gave another mother this morning. She said to cope with late night or early a.m. pleas of hunger, she used to leave a snack out beside her daughter’s bed so she could help herself if she got hungry after hours. Not bad, I thought. Best to everyone. Lisa Guisbond

Response:

… : extending his already late bedtime (9-9:30) to the 10-10:30 realm. As : his preschool teacher said, if her daughter went to bed at 10 every : night, she would be certifiably insane (the teacher, not the daughter). : I feel myself becoming psycho mom. Any pearls of wisdom? … Howdy Lisa, You are not alone.  My almost 3 year old son goes to bed around 9:30pm. Sometime ago, my husband and I decided that we liked our son on a later bedtime to share more time together.  Plus we needed to do nebulizer treatments for asthma – we enjoyed the quiet time, and the easy way of getting him to bed (he would be tired!). Well, overtime we realized we were all getting sleep deprived – – because our bedtimes would be much later after our son went to sleep. Now we start dinner earlier, if he does not eat, oh well – only one cookie and milk before going to bed (and brushing teeth), up to 3 books and that’s it.  Recently our son did not eat dinner, he said he was hungry, so instead of a cookie he had a yogurt.  If he eats a light dinner, he eats a bigger breakfast or lunch the next day. Before you become psycho Mom, try keeping track of his food/sleep schedule over a couple of normal days, and try changing the schedule alittle at a time to get him closer to the time you feel is a reasonable bedtime.  Maybe a snack at 8:30pm – or a later dinner, or no snack after 4:00pm – or an early dinner? We mapped out our sons days and realized he got a snack late, we would exercise late, eat late, and his bedtime ritual was over hour long!  So we made changes, like exercising during lunchtime instead of after work, starting dinner earlier, cutting down the bedtime ritual – we slowly     (and still) making changes on this…to keep to 9 – 9:30pm bedtime which is reasonable for us. Best of luck, Phyllis

Response:

Your son is *exactly* like my daughter!  She eats very little, most of the time she eats little or no dinner, I don’t force her. Same bedtime deal, pleads hunger.  Same reaction, I know she really is hungry, give her a snack.  My daughter, age 3.5, goes to bed at 10 or 10:30 normally.  Absolutely nothing I do can get her to sleep any earlier than that.  I stopped the bedtime snack now.  Just told her hey, ya shoulda eaten dinner. No one believes that my daughter is always up so late, but she does nap at daycare.  She *never* in her life slept more than 8-9 hrs at night.  Yet so many of her peers sleep 10-12 hrs a night!  I’m so jealous! Anyway, back to the original problem.  Try to be very casual and blunt, telling Max "well, that’s a shame, you should have eaten more dinner,  tomorrow try to eat dinner and you won’t be hungry at bedtime".  Be very casual, stern, sincere, blunt, sort of like "sorry, but those are the rules".  He’ll fuss, just ignore it. Try to be on his side, pity him "gee too bad you’re hungry, tomorrow is your chance to correct this problem".  Try even using a happy/upbeat tone of voice, as if you are giving him advice, not "punishing" him. Good luck… Christine M. Dakes       Mom to:                             "Big Kah-hoon-ah"                          Zakary Joseph 3/5/95  – "Moon Doggie" …And we’re livin’ here in Allentown, PA                  

Response:

><< Things are getting out of hand. My son never seems interested in having ><< much of a meal around dinnertime, and I don’t push him to eat more than ><< he wants, following the advice of about everything I’ve read. But then ><< he pleads hunger at bedtime and I worry about sending him to bed hungry. ><< So the just before bedtime snack is becoming part of the routine and ><< extending his already late bedtime (9-9:30) to the 10-10:30 realm. As ><< his preschool teacher said, if her daughter went to bed at 10 every ><< night, she would be certifiably insane (the teacher, not the daughter). ><< I feel myself becoming psycho mom. Any pearls of wisdom? ><<

Lisa; Our oldest has had a 9 o’clock bedtime since she was 3, so you’re not alone there. She also has a bedtime snack before brush-up time. At the risk of oversimplifying things, why not begin the bedtime routine an hour earlier than you do now? Good Luck with the Parenting thing. . . Greg Lubianetzky Father to Teri, 7 years and Tom, 1

Response:

Things are getting out of hand. My son never seems interested in having much of a meal around dinnertime, and I don’t push him to eat more than he wants, following the advice of about everything I’ve read. But then he pleads hunger at bedtime and I worry about sending him to bed hungry. So the just before bedtime snack is becoming part of the routine and extending his already late bedtime (9-9:30) to the 10-10:30 realm. As his preschool teacher said, if her daughter went to bed at 10 every night, she would be certifiably insane (the teacher, not the daughter). I feel myself becoming psycho mom. Any pearls of wisdom? Lisa Guisbond, mom to Max

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Things are getting out of hand. My son never seems interested in having >much of a meal around dinnertime, and I don’t push him to eat more than >he wants, following the advice of about everything I’ve read. But then >he pleads hunger at bedtime and I worry about sending him to bed hungry. >So the just before bedtime snack is becoming part of the routine and >extending his already late bedtime (9-9:30) to the 10-10:30 realm. As >his preschool teacher said, if her daughter went to bed at 10 every >night, she would be certifiably insane (the teacher, not the daughter). >I feel myself becoming psycho mom. Any pearls of wisdom? >Lisa Guisbond, mom to Max

These kids learn to manipulate at a very young age!!!!  :>  You’re being had….but understandably so…I’ve been had by 5 !!!  I’d start the bedtime much earlier….and give him a bedtime snack like vegtable or chicken noodle soup….my kids used to want to eat dinner at 5 , before dad came home…so I stopped fighting, let them eat soup or something somewhat nutritious….when they realized it wouldn’t bee crackers or cookies or chips…they quickly got into the habit of eating dinner at 6 with all of us.  Good luck!  Dede

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