Pure Parents

Question:

>I did not get on this NG to get put down, called a child-abuser (among

other things), and to have people so openly criticize me. Anita you are entitled to your opinion. When things degenerate into open insults and put downs it means the other person cannot win an argument, therefore resorting to this type of thing. > I need to learn to be stronger, and not let people get >to me.

I agree. These people don’t know you – they don’t know *about* you. YOU know you and all the insults in the world won’t change that. I have got into some right howdoyoudos on other NGs and people have said the most AWFUL things to me and about me. At the end of the day *I* know myself and what I do for the community, so as far as these misguided people are concerned they can go to hell.  >I DO NOT abuse my child, and I am entitled to my own set of beliefs. Of course you dont! Of course you are! >What bothers me the most is when people do not have the same set of beliefs >that I do, and will resort to name-calling and other cheap shots to get >their point across.

Yes it’s pathetic. Don’t let it get to you. The best thing to do is laugh about it, after some of the discussions on these groups from time to time *are* laughable aren’t they? Best wishes – Gail – - – - – - – - – - – - The ADD / ADHD Gazette http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/ADDGazette

Response:

Well, I have had absolutely enough with the circumcision thread, and I wish that I had gotten out of it sooner.  I did not get on this NG to get put down, called a child-abuser (among other things), and to have people so openly criticize me.  I need to learn to be stronger, and not let people get to me.  I DO NOT abuse my child, and I am entitled to my own set of beliefs. What bothers me the most is when people do not have the same set of beliefs that I do, and will resort to name-calling and other cheap shots to get their point across.  I am hoping to participate in the other threads here, without being personally attacked.  I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! Anita proud mom of Christian, age 6

Response:

>What bothers me the most is when people do not have the same set of beliefs >that I do, and will resort to name-calling and other cheap shots to get >their point across.

I completely agree with you!!  I can’t say I’ve followed it – I deliberately avoid subjects with certain headers, that being one.   Try not to take it personally – and remember that receiving a personal attack in a debate by an opponent means they ran out of ideas/facts or don’t have the moral ground to criticize yours.   Keep your chin up! Isa If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.

Response:

<snip> > I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

Anita, The circ debates are always heated.  I have found from previous threads concerning that topic, there will never be a middle ground where the two sides may meet in peace.  So I avoid them.  I just ignore that thread and move onto other things. There are other threads that are just better to ignore, but none of them are popping into my brain at the moment.  (You will have to pardon me as I am still on my first cup of coffee.  Higher brain functions won’t kick in till after at least one more cup.) By all means, stick around for other threads.  Not all of them, not even most, get that combative. To circ or not to circ is a very personal decision and there are good reasons for both views.  Lots of people have very strong opinions on both sides.  It’s too bad that those overwhelming feelings sometimes escape through the keyboard in less than pleasant ways.  We all have to feel our way through which topics we want to discuss and which ones are better to avoid.  I am truly sorry you feel so attacked after the circ thread.  Stick around and look at some others.  I am sure you will find some very wonderful people in this group.  I know I have.  I have found people who support me when I need it and some people I have come to think of as friends even though I have never laid eyes on them.  I hope you too can have that same type of fulfillment from the group.   Hang in there. My best, Sharon

Response:

>Well, I have had absolutely enough with the circumcision thread, and I wish >that I had gotten out of it sooner.  I did not get on this NG to get put >down, called a child-abuser (among other things), and to have people so >openly criticize me.  I need to learn to be stronger, and not let people get >to me.  I DO NOT abuse my child, and I am entitled to my own set of beliefs. >What bothers me the most is when people do not have the same set of beliefs >that I do, and will resort to name-calling and other cheap shots to get >their point across.  I am hoping to participate in the other threads here, >without being personally attacked.  I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

Welcome to Usenet.  It requires tough skin.  The Circ threads are the exception, usually.  In just about any other subject the debates are civil at least. Don’t give up. Kendra Proud to be "Outlandish"! http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Lane/6516 http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Gallery/1796

Response:

Ooooooooooohh…. I made that mistake also back in ‘94 when my son was a baby I got into a circ thread and got royally toasted (much of what you described) because I tried to find middle ground and defend my choice.  I now know that I have my opinion they have theirs and never the twain shall meet. The only other subjects that generate the same amount of extreme polarization is abortion and maybe vaccination.  Spanking on occasion will flare up to that level also. For the most part, those of us that participate in the parenting groups try to respond in a respectful, logical way; but since we are imperfect we occasionally let emotion impair judgement and post first then think later.;) Just chalk it up to a lesson well-learned and enjoy the rest of the groups. — Shelly H The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936), British author.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Well, I have had absolutely enough with the circumcision thread, and I wish > that I had gotten out of it sooner.  I did not get on this NG to get put > down, called a child-abuser (among other things), and to have people so > openly criticize me.  I need to learn to be stronger, and not let people get > to me.  I DO NOT abuse my child, and I am entitled to my own set of beliefs. > What bothers me the most is when people do not have the same set of beliefs > that I do, and will resort to name-calling and other cheap shots to get > their point across.  I am hoping to participate in the other threads here, > without being personally attacked.  I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! > Anita > proud mom of Christian, age 6

Response:

Actually I just flag them as already been read.  In OE5 I have clicked on hide read messages so they disappear.  Works for me. — Shelly H The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936), British author.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> You know another way to avoid the circ threads is to killfile any thread > that > has the word circumcision in the subject header.  I just did it and now I > don’t even see the threads on the topic.  They don’t solve anything and > go around in circles.  The only thing good that can be said of these threads > is that a few posters point people to URLs that have real information so > when they are actually making the decision, it can be an informed one. > Dorothy >Ooooooooooohh…. >I made that mistake also back in ‘94 when my son was a baby I got into a >circ thread and got royally toasted (much of what you described) because I >tried to find middle ground and defend my choice.  I now know that I have > my >opinion they have theirs and never the twain shall meet. >The only other subjects that generate the same amount of extreme >polarization is abortion and maybe vaccination.  Spanking on occasion will >flare up to that level also.

Response:

You know another way to avoid the circ threads is to killfile any thread that has the word circumcision in the subject header.  I just did it and now I don’t even see the threads on the topic.  They don’t solve anything and go around in circles.  The only thing good that can be said of these threads is that a few posters point people to URLs that have real information so when they are actually making the decision, it can be an informed one. Dorothy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Ooooooooooohh…. >I made that mistake also back in ‘94 when my son was a baby I got into a >circ thread and got royally toasted (much of what you described) because I >tried to find middle ground and defend my choice.  I now know that I have my >opinion they have theirs and never the twain shall meet. >The only other subjects that generate the same amount of extreme >polarization is abortion and maybe vaccination.  Spanking on occasion will >flare up to that level also.

Response: