Pure Parents

Question:

Well, in his defense, I *did* get a weekend in November at a Bed and Breakfast all by myself (and it was HEAVEN). It’s just been a really bad week. Kathleen with: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I’m not sure where this post originated, but from what I can tell, you are >talking about not having time for yourself, when your husband has time to >himself. >I’m sure you can all relate to the fact that when my hubby is on vacation, >I’m not.  Yeah, sure, we go out of town and are away from the normal routine >which always helps, but who is STILL taking the majority of the >responsibility for the kids when we are gone?  When do *I* get a vacation? >Well, I took care of that problem.  I remind him of the fact that I really >DON’T get a vacation like he does, so every year, I make sure I get out of >town for at LEAST one night with my hubby, mom      or friends.  Most of the time >it is for a weekend.  My vacation is coming up and I can’t wait.  I am going >to the Lake of the Ozarks for a shopping trip with 6 other girls.  Boy, will >we have a good time. >I think you should all try to get away this way.  It really does help to know >that you don’t have to worry about anyone but yourself for a couple of days. >If your husband isn’t for it, keep reminding him when he is on vacation that >you aren’t.  Maybe he will catch on like my hubby did.  :o) > I go for a one hour walk everyday.  I can use that time to think and get rid >of > a few extra pounds I’ve been carrying since Jake’s birth, this past October. > With Jacob’s problems I was really drained all the time and kept putting off > walking and finally I’m back in my routine.  Before I got pregnant with Jake I > walked 6 days a week, and I was doing the same thing before my pregnancy with > Jackie, but, I have cyatic (sp.) nerve problems with my back during pregnancy > and walking made it really bad .  I love this walking, Keith gets time alone > (meaning I’m not going, hey do it this way) with the kids.  I get refreshed >from > the fresh air, I even go on nice days with the kids, a little harder to do, >but > worth it. > — > Kandee M. Wright > Web Developer > Alphalinx > :Make it an afternoon, then.  It’s good for Dad and son to spend some time > :together when both are awake. > : > :–Janet (who’s been out alone … oh, at least once in the past six months) > :Triplets (10/21/96) > : > :>Ali: > :> > :>It’s one of those "easier said than done things". I’m so tired all the > :>time, I just don’t even have the *energy* to go out. It’s just one of the > :>little injustices of life.  Usually it doesn’t bug me, but this has > :>been a bad, BAD week. > :> > :>Kathleen > :> > :> > :>>>Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the > :>>>house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now. > :>>> > :>> > :>>Everyone needs to vent…but I don’t understand something, Why don’t you > :take a > :>>night out a week? If he can…why can’t you? It may be a matter of you > :"taking" > :>>it, rather than being "offered" it…but still.  I must be blessed, but my > :>>husband and I (we are still newlyweds, I understand) understand our needs > :for > :>>personal "time outs." If he wants a day to go to a football game, or I > :want a > :>>night of shopping…there really isn’t an arguement or a second thought > :about > :>>it. > :>> TAKE YOUR NIGHT, GIRL! TAKE IT AND DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL! > :>> > :>>:) > :>>alicat > :> > :>**Spam Trap** > :>Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail. > : > : > : > :

**Spam Trap** Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail.

Response:

> Ali: > It’s one of those "easier said than done things". I’m so tired all the > time, I just don’t even have the *energy* to go out. It’s just one of the > little injustices of life.  Usually it doesn’t bug me, but this has > been a bad, BAD week. > Kathleen

One night this weekend, see if your husband can give you a night off.  Get a good book, put on your most comfortable PJs, slip into bed, and enjoy reading all evening.  It’s peaceful, quiet, and the book can take your mind far away from parenting duties.  The next morning, sleep in as long as you can.  Even when you get up, see if your husband will handle breakfast duties for the kids so you can start your morning more slowly than normal.  Don’t let yourself worry when the kids get fussy; they won’t die overnight even if your husband doesn’t do things exactly the way you would have. This is what I enjoy far more than an evening out with the girls.  Maybe you’ll enjoy it too. Take Care! Vicki Surratt Proud Mom of Kathy (almost 6) and Jenny (9)!

Response:

After a >week and a half of my being in bed, my husband shipped my daughter and >me off to my parents house. His explanation: "I can’t deal with all this >domestic complexity." >P.S. The man has a PhD in computer science.

Ah you have now entered the realms of men – they havent a clue what to do! And they pawn us off with a "your a woman – you know about these things"  I was 19 when I had Emma and Becca and previously had lived with my parents – and been in University – not exactly where you learn household skills!  Sod em all – leave em alone for a week and they’ll cope (or say they have – they’ll prolly get their mothers round! ) Susan

Response:

We all are in this boat Im afraid! I have twins so I guess you could multiply your calculations by two (dont even start on Janet’s triplets! )  Time flys by all of us and its not nice finding yourself with a week past and not knowing where it went! I dont work but I keep very strange hours – dont get till bed usually until three am up at nine with emma and Becca (18months) – one hour nap during day and bed at eight at night! Dont ask why I dont go to bed till late (besides having insomnia! ) it’s all about the bf studying till the wee hours in the morning – but tonight I am off early! Having one child to contend with is hard enough – two can be nightmarish some days (specially at 18 months)  HEY – janet – whats it like with three?? lol Hang on in there love! Susan Wood http://twins.cjb.net – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Folks: >I was running a couple of videos back to the store last night, and, for >some reason, my brain decided to start calculating *just* how much time I >spend working each week. >Okay… Andrew gets up at 8:00, goes to bed at 8:00, and naps for three >hours. That’s nine hours times seven days, for SIXTY-THREE HOURS of >childcare. >Then, I work six hours each day on paying work, Monday through Friday >(only when he’s napping, and before he gets up). Six hours times five >days, for THIRTY HOURS. >A NINETY-THREE HOUR WORKWEEK, and that’s not even counting the housework >and other assorted stuff I do after Andrew goes to bed. Is it any wonder I >feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown?? >Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the >house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now. >Thanks for letting me vent… >Kathleen >**Spam Trap** >Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail.

Response:

I think my husband used to think it was all easy for me to be home all day until I started college this past April, and he stays home with the kids while I’m at school. 4.5 hours a night, 4 nights a week. So now, when I walk in the door, he’s the one complaining and telling stories. Though, I am a little jealous, because I don’t put them to bed at night anymore.They have their own Daddy routine.  I think you should just say, "I’m leaving for a couple of hours" and get the heck out! After 2 kids, I finally got the guts to do it. Wasn’t as bad as I expected! Marie

Response:

I’m not sure where this post originated, but from what I can tell, you are talking about not having time for yourself, when your husband has time to himself. I’m sure you can all relate to the fact that when my hubby is on vacation, I’m not.  Yeah, sure, we go out of town and are away from the normal routine which always helps, but who is STILL taking the majority of the responsibility for the kids when we are gone?  When do *I* get a vacation? Well, I took care of that problem.  I remind him of the fact that I really DON’T get a vacation like he does, so every year, I make sure I get out of town for at LEAST one night with my hubby, mom  or friends.  Most of the time it is for a weekend.  My vacation is coming up and I can’t wait.  I am going to the Lake of the Ozarks for a shopping trip with 6 other girls.  Boy, will we have a good time. I think you should all try to get away this way.  It really does help to know that you don’t have to worry about anyone but yourself for a couple of days. If your husband isn’t for it, keep reminding him when he is on vacation that you aren’t.  Maybe he will catch on like my hubby did.  :o) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I go for a one hour walk everyday.  I can use that time to think and get rid of > a few extra pounds I’ve been carrying since Jake’s birth, this past October. > With Jacob’s problems I was really drained all the time and kept putting off > walking and finally I’m back in my routine.  Before I got pregnant with Jake I > walked 6 days a week, and I was doing the same thing before my pregnancy with > Jackie, but, I have cyatic (sp.) nerve problems with my back during pregnancy > and walking made it really bad .  I love this walking, Keith gets time alone > (meaning I’m not going, hey do it this way) with the kids.  I get refreshed from > the fresh air, I even go on nice days with the kids, a little harder to do, but > worth it. > — > Kandee M. Wright > Web Developer > Alphalinx > :Make it an afternoon, then.  It’s good for Dad and son to spend some time > :together when both are awake. > : > :–Janet (who’s been out alone … oh, at least once in the past six months) > :Triplets (10/21/96) > : > :>Ali: > :> > :>It’s one of those "easier said than done things". I’m so tired all the > :>time, I just don’t even have the *energy* to go out. It’s just one of the > :>little injustices of life.  Usually it doesn’t bug me, but this has > :>been a bad, BAD week. > :> > :>Kathleen > :> > :> > :>>>Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the > :>>>house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now. > :>>> > :>> > :>>Everyone needs to vent…but I don’t understand something, Why don’t you > :take a > :>>night out a week? If he can…why can’t you? It may be a matter of you > :"taking" > :>>it, rather than being "offered" it…but still.  I must be blessed, but my > :>>husband and I (we are still newlyweds, I understand) understand our needs > :for > :>>personal "time outs." If he wants a day to go to a football game, or I > :want a > :>>night of shopping…there really isn’t an arguement or a second thought > :about > :>>it. > :>> TAKE YOUR NIGHT, GIRL! TAKE IT AND DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL! > :>> > :>>:) > :>>alicat > :> > :>**Spam Trap** > :>Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail. > : > : > : > :

Response:

I go for a one hour walk everyday.  I can use that time to think and get rid of a few extra pounds I’ve been carrying since Jake’s birth, this past October. With Jacob’s problems I was really drained all the time and kept putting off walking and finally I’m back in my routine.  Before I got pregnant with Jake I walked 6 days a week, and I was doing the same thing before my pregnancy with Jackie, but, I have cyatic (sp.) nerve problems with my back during pregnancy and walking made it really bad .  I love this walking, Keith gets time alone (meaning I’m not going, hey do it this way) with the kids.  I get refreshed from the fresh air, I even go on nice days with the kids, a little harder to do, but worth it. — Kandee M. Wright Web Developer Alphalinx

:Make it an afternoon, then.  It’s good for Dad and son to spend some time :together when both are awake. : :–Janet (who’s been out alone … oh, at least once in the past six months) :Triplets (10/21/96) :

:>Ali: :> :>It’s one of those "easier said than done things". I’m so tired all the :>time, I just don’t even have the *energy* to go out. It’s just one of the :>little injustices of life.  Usually it doesn’t bug me, but this has :>been a bad, BAD week. :> :>Kathleen :> :> :>>>Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the :>>>house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now. :>>> :>> :>>Everyone needs to vent…but I don’t understand something, Why don’t you :take a :>>night out a week? If he can…why can’t you? It may be a matter of you :"taking" :>>it, rather than being "offered" it…but still.  I must be blessed, but my :>>husband and I (we are still newlyweds, I understand) understand our needs :for :>>personal "time outs." If he wants a day to go to a football game, or I :want a :>>night of shopping…there really isn’t an arguement or a second thought :about :>>it. :>> TAKE YOUR NIGHT, GIRL! TAKE IT AND DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL! :>> :>>:) :>>alicat :> :>**Spam Trap** :>Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail. : : : :

Response:

Folks: I was running a couple of videos back to the store last night, and, for some reason, my brain decided to start calculating *just* how much time I spend working each week. Okay… Andrew gets up at 8:00, goes to bed at 8:00, and naps for three hours. That’s nine hours times seven days, for SIXTY-THREE HOURS of childcare. Then, I work six hours each day on paying work, Monday through Friday (only when he’s napping, and before he gets up). Six hours times five days, for THIRTY HOURS. A NINETY-THREE HOUR WORKWEEK, and that’s not even counting the housework and other assorted stuff I do after Andrew goes to bed. Is it any wonder I feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown?? Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now. Thanks for letting me vent… Kathleen **Spam Trap** Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail.

Response:

>Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the >house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now.

Everyone needs to vent…but I don’t understand something, Why don’t you take a night out a week? If he can…why can’t you? It may be a matter of you "taking" it, rather than being "offered" it…but still.  I must be blessed, but my husband and I (we are still newlyweds, I understand) understand our needs for personal "time outs." If he wants a day to go to a football game, or I want a night of shopping…there really isn’t an arguement or a second thought about it.  TAKE YOUR NIGHT, GIRL! TAKE IT AND DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL! alicat

Response:

Ali: It’s one of those "easier said than done things". I’m so tired all the time, I just don’t even have the *energy* to go out. It’s just one of the little injustices of life.  Usually it doesn’t bug me, but this has been a bad, BAD week. Kathleen >Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the >house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now. >Everyone needs to vent…but I don’t understand something, Why don’t you take a >night out a week? If he can…why can’t you? It may be a matter of you "taking" >it, rather than being "offered" it…but still.  I must be blessed, but my >husband and I (we are still newlyweds, I understand) understand our needs for >personal "time outs." If he wants a day to go to a football game, or I want a >night of shopping…there really isn’t an arguement or a second thought about >it. > TAKE YOUR NIGHT, GIRL! TAKE IT AND DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL! >:) >alicat

**Spam Trap** Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail.

Response:

Kathleen: What else can be said but…hang in there! These weeks, months, years…they come and go. You’ll be riding high again soon enough! Vents are always welcome…with me anyway! Take care…and have better week. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Ali: >It’s one of those "easier said than done things". I’m so tired all the >time, I just don’t even have the *energy* to go out. It’s just one of the >little injustices of life.  Usually it doesn’t bug me, but this has >been a bad, BAD week. >Kathleen >>Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the >>house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now. >Everyone needs to vent…but I don’t understand something, Why don’t you >take a >night out a week? If he can…why can’t you? It may be a matter of you >"taking" >it, rather than being "offered" it…but still.  I must be blessed, but my >husband and I (we are still newlyweds, I understand) understand our needs >for >personal "time outs." If he wants a day to go to a football game, or I want >a >night of shopping…there really isn’t an arguement or a second thought >about >it. > TAKE YOUR NIGHT, GIRL! TAKE IT AND DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL! >:) >alicat >**Spam Trap** >Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail.

alicat

Response:

I agree Kathleen!!  It is a bit depressing sometimes.  Kelsey is up from about 10 am till 10 or 11pm (usually with no nap).  Then, if I have a client I’m working on websites after she goes to bed.  My husband works nights & we only have one car so I can’t go out for a night out.  By the time the weekend comes and he’s off I’m too tired to go out!  LOL!!! I’ve been having a bad week too!!  *HUGS*  I know how you feel!  Just feel like going outside and screaming sometimes!! The part that really makes me mad is the fact that my hubby just doesn’t understand.  He thinks because I get to stay at home with the baby that my life is easy as pie!  HA!  I wish for one week we could trade places so he could really see how hard it is.  Ya know?  LOL…though I may not want to come home after that week.  I don’t know if my house would still be standing!!! Lisa — Visit my website… http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Bluffs/9283/

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Folks: >I was running a couple of videos back to the store last night, and, for >some reason, my brain decided to start calculating *just* how much time I >spend working each week. >Okay… Andrew gets up at 8:00, goes to bed at 8:00, and naps for three >hours. That’s nine hours times seven days, for SIXTY-THREE HOURS of >childcare. >Then, I work six hours each day on paying work, Monday through Friday >(only when he’s napping, and before he gets up). Six hours times five >days, for THIRTY HOURS. >A NINETY-THREE HOUR WORKWEEK, and that’s not even counting the housework >and other assorted stuff I do after Andrew goes to bed. Is it any wonder I >feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown?? >Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the >house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now. >Thanks for letting me vent… >Kathleen >**Spam Trap** >Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail.

Response:

> The part that really makes me mad is the fact that my hubby just doesn’t > understand.  He thinks because I get to stay at home with the baby that my > life is easy as pie!  HA!  I wish for one week we could trade places so he > could really see how hard it is.  Ya know?  LOL…though I may not want to > come home after that week.  I don’t know if my house would still be > standing!!!

When our first child was 18 months old, I seriously injured my back in a way that required prolonged bed rest, and eventually surgery. After a week and a half of my being in bed, my husband shipped my daughter and me off to my parents house. His explanation: "I can’t deal with all this domestic complexity." P.S. The man has a PhD in computer science.

Response:

Make it an afternoon, then.  It’s good for Dad and son to spend some time together when both are awake. –Janet (who’s been out alone … oh, at least once in the past six months) Triplets (10/21/96) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Ali: >It’s one of those "easier said than done things". I’m so tired all the >time, I just don’t even have the *energy* to go out. It’s just one of the >little injustices of life.  Usually it doesn’t bug me, but this has >been a bad, BAD week. >Kathleen >>Oh, but Mike has his bowling night every Wednesday, so HE gets out of the >>house every single week.  Oh, I’m *really* bummed out now. >Everyone needs to vent…but I don’t understand something, Why don’t you take a >night out a week? If he can…why can’t you? It may be a matter of you "taking" >it, rather than being "offered" it…but still.  I must be blessed, but my >husband and I (we are still newlyweds, I understand) understand our needs for >personal "time outs." If he wants a day to go to a football game, or I want a >night of shopping…there really isn’t an arguement or a second thought about >it. > TAKE YOUR NIGHT, GIRL! TAKE IT AND DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL! >:) >alicat >**Spam Trap** >Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail.

Response: