Question:
You sound very depressed to me (the OP, not Steve – I just can’t find the original post on my server). Your husband sounds controlling and unreasonable (e.g. why was he so insulting?), as well as focused on your daughter to the exclusion of you. You sound lonely, sad, and overwhelmed. I suggest getting some help for yourself. You seem to be in a bad spot. Feel free to email me if you’d like. KidDoc – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am a 41 yr old woman with a 5 year old daughter. My husband is 54. Yes…that’s right 54. > I work full time and he has his own business but has his 83 year old mother watching her when he gets called out. > We have totally different ideas of raising our daughter. He babys her and I don’t. Some examples: He insists she has warm milk in a toddler cup every morning…he still wipes her when she goes to the bathroom…insists she has water in her toddler cup to bring to bed…..I could go on and on. Don’t get me wrong …I think he’s a wonderful father and she thinks the sun rises and sets on him, it’s just that what he says goes and what I say doesn’t matter. > She just finished preschool and I thought it would good if she went to camp for a day or two in the summer…or art classes once or twice a week…he forbids it…says I just want to get her out of my hair (that hurt). She has no friends…we don’t have any in our neighborhood. He thinks Im nuts…shes only 5 for God sakes he keeps telling me…..let her be a kid he says… > I tell him we need counseling…he says Im the one who needs it. I really feel like packing because I know he’ll never change. She would never leave him and I will be the bad guy here…I feel like I am pushed against the wall and there is no way out. > I guess what I need is someone to tell me Im not nuts..that children should be with other children and have fun…not hanging out with Daddy and grandma…. > Sorry for the long story… > nade > It doesn’t really sound like he is abusing her or anything. She will > grow up and he will have to deal with that at some point. Why not be > gentle about it and enjoy your life together?? Is he being unfair to > you? Well, I’m not there, but if he wants to wipe her butt and doesn’t > want you do have to do it I cannot truly fault him badly. You need to > think more about what YOU want now for yourself and the rest of YOUR > life. is it that you want to push her into new adventures, or is it that > you want to get free of her now after a long childhood. You seem like > the needy partner here and there is power in that if you wish to seize > it, but then again he may call your bluff. If I were you I think I would > love my daughter, don’t try to get between them, and just be around to > help pick up the pieces when he finds his hands full at 11 or 12!! When > you say "what he says goes and what you say doesn’t matter" what you > must separate is whether that is true of what HE does for her, or what > he demands that YOU do for her. You should tell him that HE can do that > stuff if he wants but that you no longer wish to devote such time to > that, and that you resent it and have better things you’d like to do > from here on out. It’s okay to seize the day for yourself, now that > she’s in school, and the rest of the time HE can do the extra things for > her if he wishes. > Steve
Response:
I would be leery about leaving my toddler with an 83 year old caregiver, too.
Response:
I can relate to some of what you are going through. I am 30, my husband is 47, and our daughter is the first child for us both. Some of it probably has to do with his age and life experience, but he is way more protective of her (and a bigger push over) than I am. He only allows immediate family to baby-sit and acts like a papa bear guarding his cub when we are out in public. It is sweet and endearing in a lot of ways — but also maddening at times. But back to your dilemma — yes, I think she definitely needs to socialize with other kids her age. Maybe you can find something that both of you can do together on the weekends. Do you have KinderMusik or Gymboree in your area? This probably sounds cliche, but if you don’t belong to a church, maybe this is a good time to find one that has a good youth program. Who could object to bible school? Best of luck! Yvonne
Response:
Thank you Steve for your comments. > I am a 41 yr old woman with a 5 year old daughter. My husband is 54. Yes…that’s right 54. > I work full time and he has his own business but has his 83 year old mother watching her when he gets called out. > We have totally different ideas of raising our daughter. He babys her and I don’t. Some examples: He insists she has warm milk in a toddler cup every morning…he still wipes her when she goes to the bathroom…insists she has water in her toddler cup to bring to bed…..I could go on and on. Don’t get me wrong …I think he’s a wonderful father and she thinks the sun rises and sets on him, it’s just that what he says goes and what I say doesn’t matter. > She just finished preschool and I thought it would good if she went to camp for a day or two in the summer…or art classes once or twice a week…he forbids it…says I just want to get her out of my hair (that hurt). She has no friends…we don’t have any in our neighborhood. He thinks Im nuts…shes only 5 for God sakes he keeps telling me…..let her be a kid he says… > I tell him we need counseling…he says Im the one who needs it. I really feel like packing because I know he’ll never change. She would never leave him and I will be the bad guy here…I feel like I am pushed against the wall and there is no way out. > I guess what I need is someone to tell me Im not nuts..that children should be with other children and have fun…not hanging out with Daddy and grandma…. > Sorry for the long story… > nade
It doesn’t really sound like he is abusing her or anything. She will grow up and he will have to deal with that at some point. Why not be gentle about it and enjoy your life together?? Is he being unfair to you? Well, I’m not there, but if he wants to wipe her butt and doesn’t want you do have to do it I cannot truly fault him badly. You need to think more about what YOU want now for yourself and the rest of YOUR life. is it that you want to push her into new adventures, or is it that you want to get free of her now after a long childhood. You seem like the needy partner here and there is power in that if you wish to seize it, but then again he may call your bluff. If I were you I think I would love my daughter, don’t try to get between them, and just be around to help pick up the pieces when he finds his hands full at 11 or 12!! When you say "what he says goes and what you say doesn’t matter" what you must separate is whether that is true of what HE does for her, or what he demands that YOU do for her. You should tell him that HE can do that stuff if he wants but that you no longer wish to devote such time to that, and that you resent it and have better things you’d like to do from here on out. It’s okay to seize the day for yourself, now that she’s in school, and the rest of the time HE can do the extra things for her if he wishes. Steve
Response:
I guess she made friends at preschool but she only went twice a week 2.5 hours a day. No there is no local group of mothers. I’m hoping once kindergarten starts things will get better. Children today experience so many things early that I don’t want her left behind. That’s why I would like her involved in more things. Thank you for your response.
She sounds like she’s Daddy’s little girl, and that’s okay! It’s also okay that you feel she needs socialization of some type. Did she make any friends in pre-school whom you can arrange play dates with? Perhaps there is a local group of mothers that you can get together with once a week? You and your husband have different parenting styles, which is also okay. What can cause problems is if you both argue about your daughter. It’s normal for some parents to want to hang on to their little one, as they grow so darn fast! When she starts Kindergarten, she’ll be away from the house for half a day all week long, and she’ll be missed at home. Your daughter won’t suffer adverse effects if she remains home during the summer. If you are needing a break now and then, take advantage of her dad and grandma taking care of her and take some time now and then to do something nice for yourself! Good luck. ~Nancy~ Mom to Emily~2/14/00 and Wally~1/13/84 Visit my Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/nlbader63/intro.html * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
I wrote this post hoping for honest opinions. Thank you for yours.
People need to spend more time thinking about exactly what it is they want. EXACTLY what was it this chick wanted? Do you think what she REALLY wants most in life is for a bunch of strangers to tell her she’s "not nuts"? that prize seems slim.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The OP’s original question was that she wanted someone to tell > her she’s not nuts, that a child needs to have some socialization > instead of hanging out with dad and grandma. > If her post had been in a different group and had been about > her relationship with her husband and asking for advice, then > your response would be more appropriate. However, it was not. > ~Nancy~ > Mom to Emily~2/14/00 and > Wally~1/13/84 > Visit my Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/nlbader63/intro.html > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Thank you hamilton..my husband can be very controlling.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > She sounds like she’s Daddy’s little girl, and that’s okay! It’s > also okay that you feel she needs socialization of some type. > Did she make any friends in pre-school whom you can arrange > play dates with? Perhaps there is a local group of mothers that > you can get together with once a week? > You and your husband have different parenting styles, which is > also okay. What can cause problems is if you both argue about > your daughter. > It’s normal for some parents to want to hang on to their little > one, as they grow so darn fast! When she starts Kindergarten, > she’ll be away from the house for half a day all week long, and > she’ll be missed at home. Your daughter won’t suffer adverse > effects if she remains home during the summer. > If you are needing a break now and then, take advantage of her > dad and grandma taking care of her and take some time now and > then to do something nice for yourself! > Good luck.
nonsense — the key in this letter is not warm milk and butt wiping [although I think this is not a good sign in a father with a 5 year old daughter] but that Mom is totally disregarded. This is an abusive controlling relationship — a man who thinks his wife’s point of view is of no consequence, a mother who has no right to make a simple decision like enrolling her daughter in an art class — adds up to a sick environment. the babying is not an issue — the treatment of Mom as an indentured servant is —
Response:
Just a question here. Do you think it is wise judgement to leave a 5 year old alone with a 83 year old woman? I don’t. Once when my daughter was 3 my mother in law fell in the backyard and broke her shoulder, just as my husband was pulling into the driveway. That would have been disasterous if he didn’t arrive in time. As far as my freedom goes, I work full time and when I am finished I come home to my chores. That is that. You are correct when you say to make the best of a bad or good situation and I have been doing that for 15 years.
The heart of the problem is that mom wants more freedom. As she puts it, she wants the girl in classes to "get her out of mom’s hair". To me, it’s the woman who is hung up on power. She wants personal freedom, and can have it, in that dad and grandma would be happy to babysit. The woman also wants to be able to dictate terms. She doesn’t just want the child out of her hair. She’s wasting a great opportunity. No situation is ever entirely perfect. You have heard of making the best of a bad situation? Here’s a GOOD situation. All this woman has to do is make the best of a GOOD situation.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> She sounds like she’s Daddy’s little girl, and that’s okay! It’s > also okay that you feel she needs socialization of some type. > Did she make any friends in pre-school whom you can arrange > play dates with? Perhaps there is a local group of mothers that > you can get together with once a week? > You and your husband have different parenting styles, which is > also okay. What can cause problems is if you both argue about > your daughter. > It’s normal for some parents to want to hang on to their little > one, as they grow so darn fast! When she starts Kindergarten, > she’ll be away from the house for half a day all week long, and > she’ll be missed at home. Your daughter won’t suffer adverse > effects if she remains home during the summer. > If you are needing a break now and then, take advantage of her > dad and grandma taking care of her and take some time now and > then to do something nice for yourself! > Good luck. > nonsense — the key in this letter is not warm milk and butt wiping > [although I think this is not a good sign in a father with a 5 year old > daughter] but that Mom is totally disregarded. This is an abusive > controlling relationship — a man who thinks his wife’s point of view is > of no consequence, a mother who has no right to make a simple decision > like enrolling her daughter in an art class — adds up to a sick > environment. the babying is not an issue — the treatment of Mom as an > indentured servant is —
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I tell him we need counseling…he says Im the one who needs it. I = >really feel like packing because I know he’ll never change. She would = >never leave him and I will be the bad guy here…I feel like I am pushed = >against the wall and there is no way out. >I guess what I need is someone to tell me Im not nuts..that children = >should be with other children and have fun…not hanging out with Daddy = >and grandma…. >Sorry for the long story… >nade
Well, I don’t think you’re nuts, but do think that you have some major problems with your relationship, and they are threatening to spill out onto your relationship with your daughter. You sound like you feel steamrollered, much like men who say they are ignored at home — is that true in general, or it is just when it comes to child rearing? If you resent your husband and feel that your opinions don’t count, you run the risk of detaching yourself emotionally from both husband and daughter, and just going through the motions to keep the peace. He does not sound like he is being abusive to your daughter, which is great, nor does the home situation sound odd with dad and granny, frankly. I think Steve is right: you have to assert yourself for yourself, not wind up using childcare issues to score points. If he wants to give her warm milk, let him. You do your own thing with your daughter. If you feel squashed and discounted in general, you need to sort those feelings out. Lynne * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
The heart of the problem is that mom wants more freedom. As she puts it, she wants the girl in classes to "get her out of mom’s hair". To me, it’s the woman who is hung up on power. She wants personal freedom, and can have it, in that dad and grandma would be happy to babysit. The woman also wants to be able to dictate terms. She doesn’t just want the child out of her hair. She’s wasting a great opportunity. No situation is ever entirely perfect. You have heard of making the best of a bad situation? Here’s a GOOD situation. All this woman has to do is make the best of a GOOD situation.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> She sounds like she’s Daddy’s little girl, and that’s okay! It’s > also okay that you feel she needs socialization of some type. > Did she make any friends in pre-school whom you can arrange > play dates with? Perhaps there is a local group of mothers that > you can get together with once a week? > You and your husband have different parenting styles, which is > also okay. What can cause problems is if you both argue about > your daughter. > It’s normal for some parents to want to hang on to their little > one, as they grow so darn fast! When she starts Kindergarten, > she’ll be away from the house for half a day all week long, and > she’ll be missed at home. Your daughter won’t suffer adverse > effects if she remains home during the summer. > If you are needing a break now and then, take advantage of her > dad and grandma taking care of her and take some time now and > then to do something nice for yourself! > Good luck. > nonsense — the key in this letter is not warm milk and butt wiping > [although I think this is not a good sign in a father with a 5 year old > daughter] but that Mom is totally disregarded. This is an abusive > controlling relationship — a man who thinks his wife’s point of view is > of no consequence, a mother who has no right to make a simple decision > like enrolling her daughter in an art class — adds up to a sick > environment. the babying is not an issue — the treatment of Mom as an > indentured servant is —
Response:
Thank you Kay. Counseling is out of the question with him. He doesn’t do anything wrong.
Hi! You both have very different ideas about parenting. Maybe this is just one of many differences you have? It sounds as if you both care deeply for your child, and want the best for her. Your child probably does have friends in preschool. She won’t come to any harm as long as she has some chance to socialise. If her dad and grandma are kind to her, a bit of ‘babying’ won’t hurt her. They have waited so long for this child – they probably want to make the most of her whilst she is little. What will hurt her is if she is aware that her parents are arguing over her – what a responsibility for a child! I agree that you should *both* get counseling and sort out the many problems between you. Good luck Kay – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I guess what I need is someone to tell me Im not nuts..that children should be with other children and have fun…not hanging out with Daddy and grandma…. > Sorry for the long story… > nade
Response:
People need to spend more time thinking about exactly what it is they want. EXACTLY what was it this chick wanted? Do you think what she REALLY wants most in life is for a bunch of strangers to tell her she’s "not nuts"? that prize seems slim.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The OP’s original question was that she wanted someone to tell > her she’s not nuts, that a child needs to have some socialization > instead of hanging out with dad and grandma. > If her post had been in a different group and had been about > her relationship with her husband and asking for advice, then > your response would be more appropriate. However, it was not. > ~Nancy~ > Mom to Emily~2/14/00 and > Wally~1/13/84 > Visit my Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/nlbader63/intro.html > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > She sounds like she’s Daddy’s little girl, and that’s okay! It’s > also okay that you feel she needs socialization of some type. > Did she make any friends in pre-school whom you can arrange > play dates with? Perhaps there is a local group of mothers that > you can get together with once a week? > You and your husband have different parenting styles, which is > also okay. What can cause problems is if you both argue about > your daughter. > It’s normal for some parents to want to hang on to their little > one, as they grow so darn fast! When she starts Kindergarten, > she’ll be away from the house for half a day all week long, and > she’ll be missed at home. Your daughter won’t suffer adverse > effects if she remains home during the summer. > If you are needing a break now and then, take advantage of her > dad and grandma taking care of her and take some time now and > then to do something nice for yourself! > Good luck.
nonsense — the key in this letter is not warm milk and butt wiping [although I think this is not a good sign in a father with a 5 year old daughter] but that Mom is totally disregarded. This is an abusive controlling relationship — a man who thinks his wife’s point of view is of no consequence, a mother who has no right to make a simple decision like enrolling her daughter in an art class — adds up to a sick environment. the babying is not an issue — the treatment of Mom as an indentured servant is —
Response:
The OP’s original question was that she wanted someone to tell her she’s not nuts, that a child needs to have some socialization instead of hanging out with dad and grandma. If her post had been in a different group and had been about her relationship with her husband and asking for advice, then your response would be more appropriate. However, it was not. ~Nancy~ Mom to Emily~2/14/00 and Wally~1/13/84 Visit my Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/nlbader63/intro.html * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
I sense that YOU are the one who would get benefit from art classes. How many friends do you have? Maybe it’s time you got granny to sit while you developed a social life.
I am a 41 yr old woman with a 5 year old daughter. My husband is 54. Yes…that’s right 54. I work full time and he has his own business but has his 83 year old mother watching her when he gets called out. We have totally different ideas of raising our daughter. He babys her and I don’t. Some examples: He insists she has warm milk in a toddler cup every morning…he still wipes her when she goes to the bathroom…insists she has water in her toddler cup to bring to bed…..I could go on and on. Don’t get me wrong …I think he’s a wonderful father and she thinks the sun rises and sets on him, it’s just that what he says goes and what I say doesn’t matter. She just finished preschool and I thought it would good if she went to camp for a day or two in the summer…or art classes once or twice a week…he forbids it…says I just want to get her out of my hair (that hurt). She has no friends…we don’t have any in our neighborhood. He thinks Im nuts…shes only 5 for God sakes he keeps telling me…..let her be a kid he says… I tell him we need counseling…he says Im the one who needs it. I really feel like packing because I know he’ll never change. She would never leave him and I will be the bad guy here…I feel like I am pushed against the wall and there is no way out. I guess what I need is someone to tell me Im not nuts..that children should be with other children and have fun…not hanging out with Daddy and grandma…. Sorry for the long story… nade
Response:
Whoa. Steve. Awesome response.
> I am a 41 yr old woman with a 5 year old daughter. My husband is 54.
Yes…that’s right 54. > I work full time and he has his own business but has his 83 year old
mother watching her when he gets called out. > We have totally different ideas of raising our daughter. He babys her
and I don’t. Some examples: He insists she has warm milk in a toddler cup every morning…he still wipes her when she goes to the bathroom…insists she has water in her toddler cup to bring to bed…..I could go on and on. Don’t get me wrong …I think he’s a wonderful father and she thinks the sun rises and sets on him, it’s just that what he says goes and what I say doesn’t matter. > She just finished preschool and I thought it would good if she went to
camp for a day or two in the summer…or art classes once or twice a week…he forbids it…says I just want to get her out of my hair (that hurt). She has no friends…we don’t have any in our neighborhood. He thinks Im nuts…shes only 5 for God sakes he keeps telling me…..let her be a kid he says… > I tell him we need counseling…he says Im the one who needs it. I
really feel like packing because I know he’ll never change. She would never leave him and I will be the bad guy here…I feel like I am pushed against the wall and there is no way out. > I guess what I need is someone to tell me Im not nuts..that children
should be with other children and have fun…not hanging out with Daddy and grandma…. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Sorry for the long story… > nade > It doesn’t really sound like he is abusing her or anything. She will > grow up and he will have to deal with that at some point. Why not be > gentle about it and enjoy your life together?? Is he being unfair to > you? Well, I’m not there, but if he wants to wipe her butt and doesn’t > want you do have to do it I cannot truly fault him badly. You need to > think more about what YOU want now for yourself and the rest of YOUR > life. is it that you want to push her into new adventures, or is it that > you want to get free of her now after a long childhood. You seem like > the needy partner here and there is power in that if you wish to seize > it, but then again he may call your bluff. If I were you I think I would > love my daughter, don’t try to get between them, and just be around to > help pick up the pieces when he finds his hands full at 11 or 12!! When > you say "what he says goes and what you say doesn’t matter" what you > must separate is whether that is true of what HE does for her, or what > he demands that YOU do for her. You should tell him that HE can do that > stuff if he wants but that you no longer wish to devote such time to > that, and that you resent it and have better things you’d like to do > from here on out. It’s okay to seize the day for yourself, now that > she’s in school, and the rest of the time HE can do the extra things for > her if he wishes. > Steve
Response:
> I am a 41 yr old woman with a 5 year old daughter. My husband is 54. Yes…that’s right 54. > I work full time and he has his own business but has his 83 year old mother watching her when he gets called out. > We have totally different ideas of raising our daughter. He babys her and I don’t. Some examples: He insists she has warm milk in a toddler cup every morning…he still wipes her when she goes to the bathroom…insists she has water in her toddler cup to bring to bed…..I could go on and on. Don’t get me wrong …I think he’s a wonderful father and she thinks the sun rises and sets on him, it’s just that what he says goes and what I say doesn’t matter. > She just finished preschool and I thought it would good if she went to camp for a day or two in the summer…or art classes once or twice a week…he forbids it…says I just want to get her out of my hair (that hurt). She has no friends…we don’t have any in our neighborhood. He thinks Im nuts…shes only 5 for God sakes he keeps telling me…..let her be a kid he says… > I tell him we need counseling…he says Im the one who needs it. I really feel like packing because I know he’ll never change. She would never leave him and I will be the bad guy here…I feel like I am pushed against the wall and there is no way out. > I guess what I need is someone to tell me Im not nuts..that children should be with other children and have fun…not hanging out with Daddy and grandma…. > Sorry for the long story… > nade
It doesn’t really sound like he is abusing her or anything. She will grow up and he will have to deal with that at some point. Why not be gentle about it and enjoy your life together?? Is he being unfair to you? Well, I’m not there, but if he wants to wipe her butt and doesn’t want you do have to do it I cannot truly fault him badly. You need to think more about what YOU want now for yourself and the rest of YOUR life. is it that you want to push her into new adventures, or is it that you want to get free of her now after a long childhood. You seem like the needy partner here and there is power in that if you wish to seize it, but then again he may call your bluff. If I were you I think I would love my daughter, don’t try to get between them, and just be around to help pick up the pieces when he finds his hands full at 11 or 12!! When you say "what he says goes and what you say doesn’t matter" what you must separate is whether that is true of what HE does for her, or what he demands that YOU do for her. You should tell him that HE can do that stuff if he wants but that you no longer wish to devote such time to that, and that you resent it and have better things you’d like to do from here on out. It’s okay to seize the day for yourself, now that she’s in school, and the rest of the time HE can do the extra things for her if he wishes. Steve
Response:
Hi! You both have very different ideas about parenting. Maybe this is just one of many differences you have? It sounds as if you both care deeply for your child, and want the best for her. Your child probably does have friends in preschool. She won’t come to any harm as long as she has some chance to socialise. If her dad and grandma are kind to her, a bit of ‘babying’ won’t hurt her. They have waited so long for this child – they probably want to make the most of her whilst she is little. What will hurt her is if she is aware that her parents are arguing over her – what a responsibility for a child! I agree that you should *both* get counseling and sort out the many problems between you. Good luck Kay – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I guess what I need is someone to tell me Im not nuts..that children should be with other children and have fun…not hanging out with Daddy and grandma…. > Sorry for the long story… > nade
Response:
She sounds like she’s Daddy’s little girl, and that’s okay! It’s also okay that you feel she needs socialization of some type. Did she make any friends in pre-school whom you can arrange play dates with? Perhaps there is a local group of mothers that you can get together with once a week? You and your husband have different parenting styles, which is also okay. What can cause problems is if you both argue about your daughter. It’s normal for some parents to want to hang on to their little one, as they grow so darn fast! When she starts Kindergarten, she’ll be away from the house for half a day all week long, and she’ll be missed at home. Your daughter won’t suffer adverse effects if she remains home during the summer. If you are needing a break now and then, take advantage of her dad and grandma taking care of her and take some time now and then to do something nice for yourself! Good luck. ~Nancy~ Mom to Emily~2/14/00 and Wally~1/13/84 Visit my Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/nlbader63/intro.html * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
I am a 41 yr old woman with a 5 year old daughter. My husband is 54. Yes…that’s right 54. I work full time and he has his own business but has his 83 year old mother watching her when he gets called out. We have totally different ideas of raising our daughter. He babys her and I don’t. Some examples: He insists she has warm milk in a toddler cup every morning…he still wipes her when she goes to the bathroom…insists she has water in her toddler cup to bring to bed…..I could go on and on. Don’t get me wrong …I think he’s a wonderful father and she thinks the sun rises and sets on him, it’s just that what he says goes and what I say doesn’t matter. She just finished preschool and I thought it would good if she went to camp for a day or two in the summer…or art classes once or twice a week…he forbids it…says I just want to get her out of my hair (that hurt). She has no friends…we don’t have any in our neighborhood. He thinks Im nuts…shes only 5 for God sakes he keeps telling me…..let her be a kid he says… I tell him we need counseling…he says Im the one who needs it. I really feel like packing because I know he’ll never change. She would never leave him and I will be the bad guy here…I feel like I am pushed against the wall and there is no way out. I guess what I need is someone to tell me Im not nuts..that children should be with other children and have fun…not hanging out with Daddy and grandma…. Sorry for the long story… nade
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