Question:
> I hope I haven’t lost or bored anyone to death, but I guess my > question/problem is: do you think its worth it? I’m just about sick of > pumping full time but I feel so guilty, not to mention very sad, at the > thought of never putting her to my breast again. Her pediatrician says > that putting her on formula now would be fine, and that she’s already > gotten her maximum benefit from breastfeeding. And between the pumping, > feeding her 20+ times per day, and her new aversion to my breast, I almost > agree. But I can’t bear the thought of quitting!! > Please help!! > Thank you for bearing with me and for taking the time to read this…
Wow–sounds like you have really been dedicated in trying to get your baby to be able to breast feed. The thing that I would consider most heavily in making this decision is: What is best for Sarah’s health??? Breast feeding is great and should be used if at all possible, but there are those rare occasions such as your case when it is not necessarily the best solution for a whole host of reasons. I can understand your disappointment at the thought of not nursing her anymore. While I was able to nurse my son with no problems until he weaned himself (around 8 months), I felt a lot of disappointment about his birth because I had to have a Cesarean. I finally came to terms with it when I realized that the best outcome is a healthy baby. It would have been great to have a vaginal birth, but my siutation wasn’t one of those where it was going to happen with a good chance of a healthy outcome. I think you have to approach your breast feeding dilemma in the same way. Besides, if Sarah is flat refusing the breast, she’s clearly trying to let you know that she prefers a bottle. Listen to your baby and her health needs, and good luck. And remember. When she’s 3 years old, this decision that seems so agonizing now will be a distant memory. What will be important to you then will be that she’s healthy (and whether she’s out of diapers yet!) Take care, Kelly
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Path: news2.cais.com!news.cais.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!howland.reston.ans.ne t!news-e2a.gnn.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail > Newsgroups: alt.parenting.solutions > Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) > Lines: 47 > NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com > X-Newsreader: AOL Offline Reader > I hate to bore anyone with my sob story, but I’m feeling pretty alone and > I need some support/advice from anyone willing to give it. >snip> > since she eats about 20 times per day due to her swallow disorder. > Just the past few days, Sarah has begun refusing the breast *at all* and > either arches her back and screams or "blows" on my breast (her new thing > since she learned to blow raspberries). The occupational therapist that > we have been seeing says that there is a 25 to 50 percent chance that I > will be able to totally breastfeed her ever. > Thank you for bearing with me and for taking the time to read this… > Krista (mom to Sarah, 12/2/95) > Krista Beck-Gallagher
Krista— Please call your local La Leche League (in the phone book) as soon as you can. At 4 1/2 months my children were teething. Teething can cause what is known as a nursing strike. My middle daughter drove me to distraction with this. The La Leche League does not charge,and for me was very helpful. Many people will tell you to give up, that you can’t nurse. If as many people could not nurse again that said they couldn’t, the human race would be extinct. If this is what you truly want, callyour local league leader as soon as possible, and good luck- Susan
Response:
My daughter became extremely jaundiced a couple of days after birth. Her pediatrician reccomended Isomil formula so that she would get more liquids. I did not want to give up breast feeding. I lucked out. My daughter (also Sarah) would breast feed for 10 minutes on each side then would also consume 4 ounces of formula. I returned to work when she was 8 weeks old. After 2 weeks of pumping, I decided the effort of pumping was too stressful and discontinued breast feeding. The relief from the stress of breastfeeding helped the time I spent feeding my daughter be more relaxed and enjoyable for both of us. Sarah is 3 now, and very happy and very healthy. I was under a lot of pressure from successful breastfeeders not to give up. My daughter and I were both much happier after I gave up. Hope whatever decision you make is the right one for you and your daughter. — Not even a fish would get in trouble if it would keep it’s mouth shut!
Response:
*snip* >I hope I haven’t lost or bored anyone to death, but I guess my >question/problem is: do you think its worth it? >Krista (mom to Sarah, 12/2/95)
In a word: NO. And I say that as someone who is very pro-breastfeeding; my own daughter finally weaned herself two months ago at age 2 1/2 years. You are to be commended for sticking it out as long as you have. Your daughter has received the benefit of your determination to give her breastmilk which to me sounds like quite a sacrifice on your part. I had none of the problems you did and still found breastfeeding 10-12 times a day when my daughter went through her infant growth spurts to be exhausting. There is more to being a mother than feeding and I don’t see how you can find time to do all the other stuff if you’re spending all that time pumping. And, there’s no way you can get a baby that’s not interested to suck from your breast. Good luck in your decision — be proud you’ve come this far! Ileen http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/Ileen_DaPonte/
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->story snipped<<< > Anyway, the lactation consultants gave me these Ameda-Egnell nipples, > which are supposedly the closest thing there is to imitating the breast > with the intention of getting Sarah back on the breast ASAP. I still > breastfeed her before just about every feeding, which is very difficult > since she eats about 20 times per day due to her swallow disorder. > Just the past few days, Sarah has begun refusing the breast *at all* and > either arches her back and screams or "blows" on my breast (her new thing > since she learned to blow raspberries). The occupational therapist that > we have been seeing says that there is a 25 to 50 percent chance that I > will be able to totally breastfeed her ever. > I hope I haven’t lost or bored anyone to death, but I guess my > question/problem is: do you think its worth it? I’m just about sick of > pumping full time but I feel so guilty, not to mention very sad, at the > thought of never putting her to my breast again. Her pediatrician says > that putting her on formula now would be fine, and that she’s already > gotten her maximum benefit from breastfeeding. And between the pumping, > feeding her 20+ times per day, and her new aversion to my breast, I almost > agree. But I can’t bear the thought of quitting!!
Krista… I’m just another *male* parent, but I hope I can help. Frankly, in my limited experience as parent/friend to many parents, I see far too much *guilt* about breastfeeding. Noone can argue this is the best feeding solution, if it’s possible. Both our youngsters got about 4 months of breast, though we had hoped to get at least 6. But you know, sometimes it’s just not possible, or even desirable! Especially considering your daughter Sarah’s sucking/swallowing problem, why torture yourself about it? Perhaps you have friends, family or significant other who are pressuring you, perhaps the pressure comes from the past, regarding breastfeeding. Sometimes LaLeche leaguers and lactation consultants can add to the pressure and guilt. I don’t fault anyone for that, they should stand up for what they believe in. But when it comes right down to it, don’t _you_ have to decide what’s best for you and your baby? Does it really do either of you any good if you both resent feeding times? In your position, I would be asking if pursuing breastfeeding is worth it. You sound like a very caring, concerned parent who dearly loves her child. Stop beating yourself up over this, clear your mind a little, and I’m sure you can make the best desision for your own flesh and blood. Once those details are out of the way and your baby is gaining weight and prospering, you can again start enjoying the wonders of your infant without all the emotional baggage. Good luck with the parenting thing… Greg Lubianetzky father to Teri, 7 years and Tommy, 7months
Response:
> (KristaChan) > writes: >My daughter began having problems with breastfeeding
… >I guess my >question/problem is: do you think its worth it? I’m just about sick of >pumping full time but I feel so guilty, not to mention very sad, at the >thought of never putting her to my breast again. Her pediatrician says >that putting her on formula now would be fine, and that she’s already >gotten her maximum benefit from breastfeeding. And between the pumping, >feeding her 20+ times per day, and her new aversion to my breast, I > almost >agree. But I can’t bear the thought of quitting!!
If you’re sick of it, and if it isn’t working, and if it gives no further benefit to the baby, then why continue? It’s not a religious issue; there is nothing to feel guilty about. Do what works best for you and your baby, and get back to enjoying parenthood. Good luck! -Troy
Response:
(KristaChan) writes: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->My daughter began having problems with breastfeeding at about 3 weeks >(she’s 4.5 months now) and we began seeing a lactation consultant. Sarah >(that’s my daughter) began losing weight at about 6 weeks and was referred >to a pediatric occupational therapist. She’s been gaining, albeit slowly, >but she was just diagnosed with a suck/swallow disorder this past week. >Just the past few days, Sarah has begun refusing the breast *at all* and >either arches her back and screams or "blows" on my breast (her new thing >since she learned to blow raspberries). >I hope I haven’t lost or bored anyone to death, but I guess my >question/problem is: do you think its worth it? I’m just about sick of >pumping full time but I feel so guilty, not to mention very sad, at the >thought of never putting her to my breast again. Her pediatrician says >that putting her on formula now would be fine, and that she’s already >gotten her maximum benefit from breastfeeding. And between the pumping, >feeding her 20+ times per day, and her new aversion to my breast, I almost >agree. But I can’t bear the thought of quitting!!
I had some breasfeeding problems with my first son. He was a non-stop nurser. I told the nurses at the hospital when I left that I wanted to only breastfeed, but they sent home little jars of sugar-water & formula with us. The first night he was home, he nursed for hours and out of desperation, I gave him about an ounce of the sugar water and he slept for about two hours. We did this until we ran out of the sugar water (sort of "topping him off" after nursing just so he would quit.) When I say non-stop nurser, I mean I would start nursing him at 9 am, check the clock and it would be noon with no end in sight. And he was losing weight. He was born 9 lbs and 1 oz and got down to below 8 lbs. On top of everything, I had seventeen days of screaming and crying when he latched on because I didn’t know how to do it properly. Our doctor recommended supplementing with formula and at 3 weeks old he had his first bottle and actually TOOK A NAP. We started giving more and more bottles. I tried renting a breastpump but I was spending my whole day either nursing or pumping. I had really wanted to nurse him and was sad everytime I tried and he would fight me and then take a bottle. At 7 months old, he was completely on formula. I decided with my second baby that if we had the same trouble, I was just going to use formula and not have these horrible fights. Well, the new baby is 13 months old today and still nurses for his breakfast and maybe every other dinner. Do whatever feels like it’s the best for your baby. If nursing is just too stressful and overwhelms everything else, there are other ways to get close. It’s whatever is best for the baby that is the most important.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Path: news2.cais.com!news.cais.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!howland.reston.ans.ne t!news-e2a.gnn.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail > Newsgroups: alt.parenting.solutions > Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) > Lines: 47 > NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com > X-Newsreader: AOL Offline Reader > I hate to bore anyone with my sob story, but I’m feeling pretty alone and > I need some support/advice from anyone willing to give it. > My daughter began having problems with breastfeeding at about 3 weeks > (she’s 4.5 months now) and we began seeing a lactation consultant. Sarah > (that’s my daughter) began losing weight at about 6 weeks and was referred > to a pediatric occupational therapist. She’s been gaining, albeit slowly, > but she was just diagnosed with a suck/swallow disorder this past week. > Anyway, I began pumping to increase my milk supply when we first started > this ordeal back when she was 3 weeks. The lactation consultants, along > with her pediatrician, took her off the breast when she was six weeks > (when she started losing the weight) and put her on expressed breastmilk. > I was basically *guarenteed* that she would be able to go back on the > breast eventually. When she continued losing weight, the hospital > dietician began having me put additives (formula and a sugar-like > substance) into her milk to increase her calories. She is still on this > "formula" now at 4.5 months, necessary because she still can’t gain weight > on plain 20/calorie per ounce breastmilk (because she can’t eat enough). > Anyway, the lactation consultants gave me these Ameda-Egnell nipples, > which are supposedly the closest thing there is to imitating the breast > with the intention of getting Sarah back on the breast ASAP. I still > breastfeed her before just about every feeding, which is very difficult > since she eats about 20 times per day due to her swallow disorder. > Just the past few days, Sarah has begun refusing the breast *at all* and > either arches her back and screams or "blows" on my breast (her new thing > since she learned to blow raspberries). The occupational therapist that > we have been seeing says that there is a 25 to 50 percent chance that I > will be able to totally breastfeed her ever. > I hope I haven’t lost or bored anyone to death, but I guess my > question/problem is: do you think its worth it? I’m just about sick of > pumping full time but I feel so guilty, not to mention very sad, at the > thought of never putting her to my breast again. Her pediatrician says > that putting her on formula now would be fine, and that she’s already > gotten her maximum benefit from breastfeeding. And between the pumping, > feeding her 20+ times per day, and her new aversion to my breast, I almost > agree. But I can’t bear the thought of quitting!! > Please help!! > Thank you for bearing with me and for taking the time to read this… > Krista (mom to Sarah, 12/2/95) > Krista Beck-Gallagher
Krista, This has got to be hard on you. Personally I think that you should do something for yourself at this point. I know it is disappointing that breastfeeding isn’t working out for you but I think if you switch to formula and give yourself a physical rest you may feel better mentally. Try to make the feeding a quiet, loving time and although it won’t be the same as nursing, you will enjoy it with the reduced stress and pressure. So many books and people make women feel extremely guilty if they don’t breastfeed and love it! It’s hard to have faith in the decisions that we make for our children. But you have to remember that if you’re unhappy you’re missing out and probably not being the best mommy you can be. Good luck, Jennifer
Response:
I hate to bore anyone with my sob story, but I’m feeling pretty alone and I need some support/advice from anyone willing to give it. My daughter began having problems with breastfeeding at about 3 weeks (she’s 4.5 months now) and we began seeing a lactation consultant. Sarah (that’s my daughter) began losing weight at about 6 weeks and was referred to a pediatric occupational therapist. She’s been gaining, albeit slowly, but she was just diagnosed with a suck/swallow disorder this past week. Anyway, I began pumping to increase my milk supply when we first started this ordeal back when she was 3 weeks. The lactation consultants, along with her pediatrician, took her off the breast when she was six weeks (when she started losing the weight) and put her on expressed breastmilk. I was basically *guarenteed* that she would be able to go back on the breast eventually. When she continued losing weight, the hospital dietician began having me put additives (formula and a sugar-like substance) into her milk to increase her calories. She is still on this "formula" now at 4.5 months, necessary because she still can’t gain weight on plain 20/calorie per ounce breastmilk (because she can’t eat enough). Anyway, the lactation consultants gave me these Ameda-Egnell nipples, which are supposedly the closest thing there is to imitating the breast with the intention of getting Sarah back on the breast ASAP. I still breastfeed her before just about every feeding, which is very difficult since she eats about 20 times per day due to her swallow disorder. Just the past few days, Sarah has begun refusing the breast *at all* and either arches her back and screams or "blows" on my breast (her new thing since she learned to blow raspberries). The occupational therapist that we have been seeing says that there is a 25 to 50 percent chance that I will be able to totally breastfeed her ever. I hope I haven’t lost or bored anyone to death, but I guess my question/problem is: do you think its worth it? I’m just about sick of pumping full time but I feel so guilty, not to mention very sad, at the thought of never putting her to my breast again. Her pediatrician says that putting her on formula now would be fine, and that she’s already gotten her maximum benefit from breastfeeding. And between the pumping, feeding her 20+ times per day, and her new aversion to my breast, I almost agree. But I can’t bear the thought of quitting!! Please help!! Thank you for bearing with me and for taking the time to read this… Krista (mom to Sarah, 12/2/95) Krista Beck-Gallagher
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