Pure Parents

Question:

First things first. I posted this message several months ago in an attempt to solve a problem, which, thanks to the rare, wonderful advice from some helpful people, the situation has resolved itself. Thank you to all of those who helped. In the end, getting him up a little earlier and putting him to bed in his next-day clothes worked wonders. I don’t think he’s a morning kid. How this got back on the NG I don’t know, but I must say, despite the fact that I’m sure know one will care, that I’m really dissapointed in the harassment about taking him to daycare. This happened the first time I posted. It became a daycare issue. FYI: My son happily says goodbye to me in the morning now, waves bye-bye. And he’s just as happy when my husband picks him up, and he’s just as happy all the way until he goes to bed. Hmmm? Could it have been a phase? I’ve heard kids are apt to go through them. For those of you who stay home with your child(ren), good for you! I wish I could! (And here come the flames about, "if you gave up your house, and all of your other luxuries, you could") Right. Maybe and maybe not. But I’m not a person who bore a child, decided my work was too important to sacrifice, and shipped them off to a nanny. Like many working parents, I work to give my son a safe, decent life, out of welfare and with some pride. Working parents have been attacked so terribly on this newgroup…if that’s how it’s going to be, include that in a warning of some sort before a person subscribes, "Stay-at-home parents only, please, or prepare to be judged." I’m a middle class worker, trying to give my child the best I can. Maybe there’s a newsgroup where that’s okay. God knows, it’s not here. alicat

Response:

: What is with the "troll alerts" at the top of every one of your posts. : It adds a lot of lines and the posts appear to be on topic for many of : the kids/parenting groups that they are appearing on? They were not on topic for milw.general.  Those posts had to do with the topics being in violation of milw.general’s charter. Tracy http://www.teleport.com/~nimue/index.html      | ICQ: 18737275 **** spamguard in place! to email me: nimue at teleport dot com ****

Response:

> What is with the "troll alerts" at the top of every one of your posts. > It adds a lot of lines and the posts appear to be on topic for many of > the kids/parenting groups that they are appearing on?

  Someone (troll) has specifically targeted the milw.* groups and are including them in posts that have nothing to do with them.  They then post to the parenting groups with completely invented problems that are guarenteed to push everyone’s buttons and generate a lot of message traffic.  Which the milw.* groups then have to wade through, because they are automatically included on all responses.   Alideale got included and labeled a troll because Alideale’s message was also addressed to a milw.* group.       hugs and all that,           Traci   — There is a time when you have to explain to your children why they’re born, and it’s a marvelous thing if you know the reason by then.                       – Hazel Scott

Response:

What is with the "troll alerts" at the top of every one of your posts. It adds a lot of lines and the posts appear to be on topic for many of the kids/parenting groups that they are appearing on?

Response:

They have had a lot of these in alt.child-support as well.  It is something to do with the milw.general NG and a certain anonymous poster, other than that I’m just as clueless. > What is with the "troll alerts" at the top of every one of your posts. > It adds a lot of lines and the posts appear to be on topic for many of > the kids/parenting groups that they are appearing on?

– Char You can have peace or you can have freedom, but never count on having both at the same time. – Lazarus Long

Response:

I have 2 children 1 who is almost 4 and the other 15 months.  They both go to daycare 3 days of the week.  My daughter (the oldest) usually refuses to get dressed on work mornings (by herself), but comes out fully clothed on my days off!  Tried many different things over time, usually tell her that she has to the count of 3 or she will not get to watch TV, get a treat or what have you.  I have read that some people just take there kids in PJ’s to daycare and have them get dressed there.  Therefore you have taken the control away from them, however my daycare must take other kids to school, so this does not seem fair.  I am now planning at her age to make rules. For my part, I will lay out her clothes the night before (she can choose if she wants) and she must get into them prior to turning on the television set.  Another way that may work is to make a "STAR" chart.   This is something I am now trying as well. Have him help you make it.  Put pictures of things such as getting dressed, cleaning up toys etc. on the chart.  Then give him a "gold star" each time he does one of these things without a huge fight ( can’t expect miracles with a 2 year old) and after you have accumulated a certain number then he can get something special  (treat, lunch out at his choice of restaurant, TV program to watch etc.)  Hope this gives you some ideas.  Best of luck. Margo

Response:

[followups set]

[in response to an anonymously-crossposted, forged troll targeting milw.*] >All posts from xs4all.nl and/or nym.alias.net are trolls; since >you can be anonymous just about anywhere, the only reason people >use those things is to avoid getting kicked off of a real ISP for >forgeries, etc.

That is not quite correct. While the aliasing services are being abused very heavily right now, they do have a legitimate role for those who want strong anonymity for legitimate purposes, particularly if they want to be reachable by return email. See alt.sex.abuse.recovery for examples. That said, I believe the operators of these services are being irresponsible for not taking steps to make them less useful for trolling Whatever is done must make the nature of the post obvious, even to the greenest newbie with a WebTV browser. A bunch of X-headers accomplish nothing. At this point crossposts should probably be blocked entirely. If the anon-remailer admins cannot be more responsive, I fear that these services will be run off the ‘net. Even "nice" trolls, like Trollboy, must be handled very carefully. Why, he’s already eaten Glen and myself today! And thanks to David Ritz for his troll-ID ‘bot.

Response:

TROLL ALERT #3 this morning: Marie Houck (milw. general deleted prior to posting) > OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your

child dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he > screams, he hits, he pulls his diaper off. Nothing calms him down.

NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he knows that if he > gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? Whatever it

is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> suggestions? >  HELP! alicat

Response:

Okay, this is Alicat. I’m kind of new to the NG thing. Why does this message call me a troll? Can someone please explain? Thank you alicat

Response:

yes, it could be a separation anxiety thing, and about 2 -ish would be when it would get particularly interesting, since around 2 a lot of kids start to insist on more independence..  but there could be other things going on, and without knowing you’re particular situation, I wouldn’t want to guess. What I’d say for you, though, since you know this is going to happen every day, try a couple of things.  First, when you realize how mad you are getting, step back.  Who cares about being a few minutes late, just step back and take a deep breath.  Calm yourself. Talk to your son when he’s calm.  Tell him, in words he can understand, how you feel about the morning "events", and how come he has to go to day care. If it IS the daycare thing, though, it should pass fairly quickly  Once he gets used to it and starts realizing he’s having fun. My son went through the kicking and screaming in the morning thing for a while, and although it’s hard, I’d just ignore it and physically assist him in getting dressed…  when he realized that mommy was just going to bear-hug him, he’d get his clothes on.  Although, now that I think on it, at one point he wouldn’t do shoes, and it took me two days to figure out that he wasn’t being ornery, they were too small and pinching, because he’d sprouted again, while I wasn’t looking! Good luck, Lisa http://www.javanet.com/~lanat

>OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child

dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he >screams, he hits, he pulls his diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING!

I get so mad! Could it be that he knows that if he >gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? Whatever it is,

I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->suggestions? > HELP! alicat

Response:

> P.S. I also have a friend who’s child was going through the same thing. > After trying the above methods with little success, one morning the battle > of the clothes began again.  My friend CALMLY told her daughter, "I’m > leaving here in 5 minutes, I need for you to put your clothes on (her > daughter was about 3.5 y/o at the time), or else I will take you to school > (pre-school) in your jammies!"  Her daughter did not comply, so, she took > her to school in her pajamas! (of coarse, she had to explain to the teacher > what was going on).  I don’t know that I would have done it that way, > however, it was discipline using consequences and it worked for her

I was going to suggest the same thing.  If the reason he is throwing the fit and not getting dressed is because he doesn’t want to go to daycare, then this will take care of that.  He will soon learn that it doesn’t matter if he throws a fit and doesn’t get dressed, he is still going.  I would bet if that is the problem, it won’t take long for it to stop. (That is, unless he LIKES going in his pajamas.) Just be sure to take his clothes in so he can change there.

Response:

> I understand that, and am not willing to have my life > revolve around raising a kid. > — > Elaine Gallegos

Yikes!  My life revolves around *4* children!  And we are not finished yet!  (I know what you mean, my life changed utterly and completely with my first baby.  It *does* revolve around them! LOL!!) Suzy

Response:

> Nope…she doesn’t stay home with her children.  She doesn’t even have > children!!!!

 I don’t have children because if you do,  you’re obligated to stay home with them, and raise them. It wasn’t an oversight that I forgot to have children. belive me, if and when I get children, either my husband or I are going to actually BE there.  No one should be forced to have children, but if they do, by god they’d better be ready to take care of them.  Makes you "appreciate" the advice even more doesn’t it????? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Lisa > Mom to Kelsey (2.5) > You know what? I don’t put my child in daycare either; and I don’t think > it’s necessarily the best thing, but that’s MY opinion, and I would NEVER be > so RUDE about voicing it. Are you staying home with your children and > teaching *them* to be so rude? If so, perhaps you may want to consider a > daycare facility where the kids will learn some manners. > Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a > filthy, lonely daycare facility?

– Elaine Gallegos

Response:

>Lisa: >ROFL! You’re kidding, right??? What a hoot! Nothing better than non-parents who >give parenting advice. The world gets weirder every day. >Kathleen

Do a DejaNews search sometime – Elaine’s inane comment was actually quite mild this time.

Response:

> Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a >filthy, lonely daycare facility?

You know, I don’t think I’ve ever, except for maybe once or twice, agreed with your opinions, Elaine,  and I know that I’ve almost always considered the manner of your posts quite rude so I don’t know why I’m surprised here but for some reason I am. Out of curiosity, did I miss something or am I right in saying that there was no mention of the daycare being "filthy" and "lonely"? I don’t know, I’ve always suspected that you’re a troll and I’m not convinced otherwise yet.   Linda

Response:

Nope, not kidding.  She gives some really wild "advice" sometimes.  I think most of it is to start something.  You should check out some of her other posts.  You’d really ROTFL!!!  :) Lisa Mom to Kelsey (2.5)

Lisa: ROFL! You’re kidding, right??? What a hoot! Nothing better than non-parents who give parenting advice. The world gets weirder every day. Kathleen

Response:

sod off, elaine. C. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >  Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a > filthy, lonely daycare facility? > OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child > dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls his > diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he > knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? > Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any suggestions? > HELP! > alicat > — > Elaine Gallegos

Response:

Much better than that, Kathleen. Elaine doesn’t even have children. SHe just hangs out here in hopes of gleaning some wonderful advice from us.  ANd to Ali—-DOn’t even think about fretting over this.:) C. "You know what? I don’t put my child in daycare either; and I don’t think it’s necessarily the best thing, but that’s MY opinion, and I would NEVER be so RUDE about voicing it. Are you staying home with your children and teaching *them* to be so rude? "

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Because some of us cannot be as perfect as you. What would you like a single > mother to do? >  I would HOPE that they would realize that if they didn’t have a husband, or > other partner, there would be no one to raise the baby. >  Welfare? Get a life. Don’t attack mine. > > Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a > >filthy, lonely daycare facility? > >> OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child > >> dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls > >his > >> diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that > >he > >> knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want > >to?? > >> Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any > >suggestions? > >> HELP! > >> alicat > >– > >Elaine Gallegos > alicat > — > Elaine Gallegos

I know you probably mean well, and in a perfect world no child would be in daycare.  But life happens, and imperfections arise.  Husbands die, or run away.  SO’s become DSO’s and a single mother is created.  Most moms try to do their damnedest with the resources they have.  I was raised in a two parent family, very traditional.  But me and my sister would have been better off if my mother had divorced my father, because he was mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive, and it was utter hell growing up with him.  There are so many different situations, it is impossible for one person to fathom them all.  But do have faith that for the most part, most moms try their best and manage to do a darned good job. *JMHO* Suzy

Response:

Some kids have a hard time with waking up in the morning. If your day care provider doesn’t mind you can just take her in pajamas or you could dress her in sweats and a t-shirt the night before and only change her diaper in the morning. (one year I took my daughter to school every morning and this is the only thing that worked for my son who was about 3 at the time). If she is very grumpy in the morning, an earlier bed time might help, too. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child > dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls his > diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he > knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? > Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any suggestions? > HELP! > alicat

Response:

>OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to >get your child dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, >he screams, he hits, he pulls his diaper off. Nothing calms >him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he knows >that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t >want to??  Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I >do it? Any suggestions?

Do make sure there is nothing to dread about daycare, but there are practical things you can do at home.   This is about power struggle.  To minimize power struggles, give the child power, in the form of choices.   First, get yourself up and ready long before it’s time to leave.  Then give your child as many control choices about how things play out as you can.  Leave the choice from among two outfits up to the child.  Let the child decide if the fresh diaper goes on before or after the socks, should you brush their teeth or would they do it themselves – whatever else you can think of.   At each opportunity to choose, give the kid a minute to decide.  If the choice is something that was not offered or if no choice was expressed, say: "That was not a choice. I will choose.  I choose BLUE."  Then dress the kid in the blue outfit (and stick to your guns at this point because the kid will test you by insisting on RED now.)   When the time comes to leave and the kid has removed the socks and still is not dressed, LEAVE ANYWAY.  They won’t die of cold.  Bundle everything thing they should be wearing into a sack and strap the wriggling tike into a car seat and hit the road.  If the kid fusses, you can say "I’m sorry you’re cold but you would not let me dress you before it was time to leave."   There are three things that go with this.   – Give briefings, not warnings, that it will be time to leave    soon, starting at least 5 minutes before departure.   – Go through the motions of offering choices even if the    kid can’t communicate yet.  You may need to say: "I    could not understand your choice" for a while, but they    will catch on.  Speak in the language you want them    to learn.   – Never ask a question unless you are prepared to    respect the answer.  Don’t say: "Are you ready to get    in the car" unless they really may decide to wait until    later.  Instead say: "It’s time to get in the car."   – Ron Low Levity is the dearth of gravity.  Brevity is the height of clarity.   non-commercial e-mail always welcome Allow 2 days for replies

Response:

>….About the daycare concern: IT >depends…How much does he like to be there?? IS he screaming when you >leave him?? What do his caregivers say?? Cheers,and good luck, C>

Thanks for your advice. I’m going to try EVERYTHING that I’ve read already, and hoping to hear some more. As for the question above…once he’s there, he’s fine. Of course, I call and check on him after mornings like these, and he’s fine. He plays as usual and gives no trouble to his provider…so I really doubt it could be there…don’t you think? alicat

Response:

Hi Alicat, BTW, thank you for your response re. my 18 month old who hits!  We’ve been really consistent with the "time outs" on the floor and it seems to be helping.  It was so nice to hear that others have had the same problem and have managed to "fix" it! As for the dressing. . .  Declan has been really hard to dress for a couple of months now.  I usually start getting him ready LONG before we have to go out.  I try to make a game out of getting dressed – say "boo" when I put his shirt over his head, "boo hands" when I put his hands through his sleeves, etc.  I also try to be very cheerful the whole time.  It works most of the time; however, I still have great difficulty keeping his socks on long enough to get the shoes on!!!  (The only shoes he loves to wear are his wellington boots!) Good luck with him! Deirdre – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child > dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls his > diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he > knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? > Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any suggestions? > HELP! > alicat

Response:

You know what? I don’t put my child in daycare either; and I don’t think it’s necessarily the best thing, but that’s MY opinion, and I would NEVER be so RUDE about voicing it. Are you staying home with your children and teaching *them* to be so rude? If so, perhaps you may want to consider a daycare facility where the kids will learn some manners. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >  Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a > filthy, lonely daycare facility? > OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child > dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls his > diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he > knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? > Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any suggestions? > HELP! > alicat > — > Elaine Gallegos

– M. Kathleen DeFilippo Technical Services Professional http://members.home.net/mkdefilippo/index.htm

Response:

Because some of us cannot be as perfect as you. What would you like a single mother to do? Welfare? Get a life. Don’t attack mine. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a >filthy, lonely daycare facility? > OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child > dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls >his > diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that >he > knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want >to?? > Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any >suggestions? > HELP! > alicat >– >Elaine Gallegos

alicat

Response:

Alideale: Ignore the flaming idiot. :::sigh::: I hate it when people get into that "I’m a better parent than you are because…" bullshit. Oh well. So much for civility. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Because some of us cannot be as perfect as you. What would you like a single > mother to do? Welfare? Get a life. Don’t attack mine. > Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a >filthy, lonely daycare facility? >> OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child >> dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls >his >> diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that >he >> knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want >to?? >> Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any >suggestions? >> HELP! >> alicat >– >Elaine Gallegos > alicat

– M. Kathleen DeFilippo Technical Services Professional http://members.home.net/mkdefilippo/index.htm

Response:

Nope…she doesn’t stay home with her children.  She doesn’t even have children!!!!  Makes you "appreciate" the advice even more doesn’t it????? Lisa Mom to Kelsey (2.5)

You know what? I don’t put my child in daycare either; and I don’t think it’s necessarily the best thing, but that’s MY opinion, and I would NEVER be so RUDE about voicing it. Are you staying home with your children and teaching *them* to be so rude? If so, perhaps you may want to consider a daycare facility where the kids will learn some manners.

Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a filthy, lonely daycare facility?

Response:

what a mean reply!  Not everyone can stay home with their kids.  I certainly feel lucky that I can, but would hope to find a wonderful place for my boys to be if I couldn’t.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a >filthy, lonely daycare facility?

Response:

Lisa: ROFL! You’re kidding, right??? What a hoot! Nothing better than non-parents who give parenting advice. The world gets weirder every day. Kathleen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Nope…she doesn’t stay home with her children.  She doesn’t even have > children!!!!  Makes you "appreciate" the advice even more doesn’t it????? > Lisa > Mom to Kelsey (2.5) > You know what? I don’t put my child in daycare either; and I don’t think > it’s necessarily the best thing, but that’s MY opinion, and I would NEVER be > so RUDE about voicing it. Are you staying home with your children and > teaching *them* to be so rude? If so, perhaps you may want to consider a > daycare facility where the kids will learn some manners. > Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a > filthy, lonely daycare facility?

– M. Kathleen DeFilippo Technical Services Professional http://members.home.net/mkdefilippo/index.htm

Response:

One solution is to "dress" him the night before.  Get some nice looking sweat pants/shirts combinations.  Assuming he doesn’t leak through his nighttime diaper, all you have to do is change him.  Sweats don’t rumple, so he’ll look fine, and he is only sleeping in them, not rolling around the yard, so they are still clean. This is a real time saver even for kids who aren’t as difficult in the morning.

Response:

 Why did you even have a baby if all you wanted to do was stick him into a filthy, lonely daycare facility? > OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child > dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls his > diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he > knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? > Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any suggestions? > HELP! > alicat

– Elaine Gallegos

Response:

>I know that my daughter started protesting about getting dressed at about 18 >mo. of age.  What worked for us was, I would lay out 2 outfits (any more >than that was too overwhelming), and let her choose.  Now at almost 4 yrs. >of age, she chooses her own clothes  I have also heard that letting your >child help you choose what he is to wear and laying it out the night before, >helps speed things up in the morning a reduce the power struggle.  Often >EMPOWERING your child (i.e. giving choices is one way to "empower" a child), >works much better than OVERPOWERING a child >Hope this helps – "Good luck" >Terri

I had the same problem with my son at about the same age – I DREADED it every day!   I think the above suggestion is great!  I found that I had alot of success with offering choices but not always.  That was ok as long as I could ward off the majority of the "getting dressed" horrors.   It passes, sort of. Good luck! Linda

Response:

alicat,  Welcome to the wonderful world of two!*g*..I think some parents all have a problem with this at some point. I used to try and start getting ready as early as possible (like if you leave at 9, get ready for 7!)..O.k maybe not that prepared..It also helps to make it a game..Like see who can get dressed the fastest–Mom or child or Dad or whoever…Sing songs while you get him dressed as a good distraction….About the daycare concern: IT depends…How much does he like to be there?? IS he screaming when you leave him?? What do his caregivers say?? Cheers,and good luck, C> – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child > dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls his > diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he > knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? > Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any suggestions? > HELP! > alicat

Response:

OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls his diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any suggestions? HELP! alicat

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I know that my daughter started protesting about getting dressed at about 18 mo. of age.  What worked for us was, I would lay out 2 outfits (any more than that was too overwhelming), and let her choose.  Now at almost 4 yrs. of age, she chooses her own clothes  I have also heard that letting your child help you choose what he is to wear and laying it out the night before, helps speed things up in the morning a reduce the power struggle.  Often EMPOWERING your child (i.e. giving choices is one way to "empower" a child), works much better than OVERPOWERING a child Hope this helps – "Good luck" Terri P.S. I also have a friend who’s child was going through the same thing. After trying the above methods with little success, one morning the battle of the clothes began again.  My friend CALMLY told her daughter, "I’m leaving here in 5 minutes, I need for you to put your clothes on (her daughter was about 3.5 y/o at the time), or else I will take you to school (pre-school) in your jammies!"  Her daughter did not comply, so, she took her to school in her pajamas! (of coarse, she had to explain to the teacher what was going on).  I don’t know that I would have done it that way, however, it was discipline using consequences and it worked for her – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >OKAY! Anyone else have an incredibly horrible time trying to get your child >dressed and out the door in the AM? He kicks, he screams, he hits, he pulls his >diaper off. Nothing calms him down. NOTHING! I get so mad! Could it be that he >knows that if he gets dressed he has to go to daycare, and doesn’t want to?? >Whatever it is, I’ve got to get it to stop! How do I do it? Any suggestions? >HELP! >alicat

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