Question:
> Obviously we are all gonna have to agree to disagree – my kids are extremly > happy children and are healthy and loved – I would hazard a guess that they > would be the same if we mollycoddled them. We all parent in our own ways > but i think all this is child dependant! maybe no one way is correct! How > would we know anyway? Every child is different! > Susan
I’ll agree with that. Every child is different and we can’t accurately comment on other people’s methods when we don’t know the half of their situation. Fascinating to read all the opinions though. Leonie, Mum to two happy and healthy if not independant daughters. (We have a TV presenter over here that stole your name Susan.)
Response:
:I agree. There is a line that divides mollycoddling a child and :teaching a child discipline, and the sleeping issue is one of the most 
bvious times to see it Wow. I really disagree that you can "mollycoddle" a 5 week old baby. Norma
Response:
> :I agree. There is a line that divides mollycoddling a child and > :teaching a child discipline, and the sleeping issue is one of the most > bvious times to see it > Wow. I really disagree that you can "mollycoddle" a 5 week old baby. > Norma
I actually missed the original thread and didn’t realise that the child in question was a 5wk old. My point was directed at children with a few more months behind them, at least six months old in fact, and when they begin to show that they understand a little of what goes on around them. When my babies were 5 wks old, I was still spending nearly all of my time with them, especially when they cried as it broke my heart to see them so helpless and unhappy. I spent many hours rocking my children to sleep. I believe that we are solely responsible for ensuring that our newborns do not want for anything but I also believe that situations change slightly as the child grows up, and techniques are allowed to change with it. And for the record (I may have read this in another thread but I can’t remember where so it is now here), my child may have slept through the night at 5 days old but that wasn’t because I left her crying, therefore wearing her out. She has always been a placid baby and it was just her nature. I rocked her to sleep on my shoulder every night and then when she developed colic, I rocked her for 5 hours every night to sleep. I admit that we were very lucky with her though. My utmost respect goes out to everyone who had a rougher deal. I remember thinking that when number two came along and she didn’t sleep through until 6 weeks, I felt like it was the end of the world. I laugh at that now and more importantly, I got through it. Leonie.
Response:
damn how dare she!! I knew I should have copywritten my name! heehee maybe were related! 
Susan Wood Original Even though im only 21!! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Obviously we are all gonna have to agree to disagree – my kids are extremly > happy children and are healthy and loved – I would hazard a guess that they > would be the same if we mollycoddled them. We all parent in our own ways > but i think all this is child dependant! maybe no one way is correct! How > would we know anyway? Every child is different! > Susan >I’ll agree with that. Every child is different and we can’t accurately >comment on other people’s methods when we don’t know the half of their >situation. Fascinating to read all the opinions though. >Leonie, >Mum to two happy and healthy if not independant daughters. >(We have a TV presenter over here that stole your name Susan.)
Response:
:
:> :> :I agree. There is a line that divides mollycoddling a child and :> :teaching a child discipline, and the sleeping issue is one of the most :> bvious times to see it :> :> Wow. I really disagree that you can "mollycoddle" a 5 week old baby. :> :> Norma : : : I actually missed the original thread and didn’t realise that the :child in question was a 5wk old. My point was directed at children with :a few more months behind them, at least six months old in fact, and when :they begin to show that they understand a little of what goes on around :them. When my babies were 5 wks old, I was still spending nearly all of :my time with them, especially when they cried as it broke my heart to :see them so helpless and unhappy. I spent many hours rocking my :children to sleep. : I believe that we are solely responsible for ensuring that our :newborns do not want for anything but I also believe that situations :change slightly as the child grows up, and techniques are allowed to :change with it. : And for the record (I may have read this in another thread but I can’t :remember where so it is now here), my child may have slept through the :night at 5 days old but that wasn’t because I left her crying, therefore :wearing her out. She has always been a placid baby and it was just her :nature. I rocked her to sleep on my shoulder every night and then when :she developed colic, I rocked her for 5 hours every night to sleep. I :admit that we were very lucky with her though. My utmost respect goes ut to everyone who had a rougher deal. : I remember thinking that when number two came along and she didn’t :sleep through until 6 weeks, I felt like it was the end of the world. I :laugh at that now and more importantly, I got through it. : :Leonie. Slept through the night at 5 days? That is rare indeed! You were very fortunate, usually babies that young need to eat around the clock (especially mine . But even though you speak of getting stricter when a baby gets to around 6 months old, all that I have learned, both from the books I read and classes I took, and from my own experience with my six, is that it is really not mollycoddling, and you cannot really spoil, a young baby especially of younger than one year. It would seem we have slightly different parenting styles. Do you agree with me, though, that babies and children in general should be generously marinated in love until ripe and juicy 20 years later? :-) Norma
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > : > :> > :> :I agree. There is a line that divides mollycoddling a child and > :> :teaching a child discipline, and the sleeping issue is one of the most > :> bvious times to see it > :> > :> Wow. I really disagree that you can "mollycoddle" a 5 week old baby. > :> > :> Norma > : > : > : I actually missed the original thread and didn’t realise that the > :child in question was a 5wk old. My point was directed at children with > :a few more months behind them, at least six months old in fact, and when > :they begin to show that they understand a little of what goes on around > :them. When my babies were 5 wks old, I was still spending nearly all of > :my time with them, especially when they cried as it broke my heart to > :see them so helpless and unhappy. I spent many hours rocking my > :children to sleep. > : I believe that we are solely responsible for ensuring that our > :newborns do not want for anything but I also believe that situations > :change slightly as the child grows up, and techniques are allowed to > :change with it. > : And for the record (I may have read this in another thread but I can’t > :remember where so it is now here), my child may have slept through the > :night at 5 days old but that wasn’t because I left her crying, therefore > :wearing her out. She has always been a placid baby and it was just her > :nature. I rocked her to sleep on my shoulder every night and then when > :she developed colic, I rocked her for 5 hours every night to sleep. I > :admit that we were very lucky with her though. My utmost respect goes > ut to everyone who had a rougher deal. > : I remember thinking that when number two came along and she didn’t > :sleep through until 6 weeks, I felt like it was the end of the world. I > :laugh at that now and more importantly, I got through it. > : > :Leonie. > Slept through the night at 5 days? That is rare indeed! You were very > fortunate, usually babies that young need to eat around the clock > (especially mine . But even though you speak of getting stricter when > a baby gets to around 6 months old, all that I have learned, both from the > books I read and classes I took, and from my own experience with my six, is > that it is really not mollycoddling, and you cannot really spoil, a young > baby especially of younger than one year. It would seem we have slightly > different parenting styles. Do you agree with me, though, that babies and > children in general should be generously marinated in love until ripe and > juicy 20 years later? :-) > Norma
Yep and damn straight! A side dish of happy induced dipping oils wouldn’t hurt either. Leonie.
Response:
Obviously we are all gonna have to agree to disagree – my kids are extremly happy children and are healthy and loved – I would hazard a guess that they would be the same if we mollycoddled them. We all parent in our own ways but i think all this is child dependant! maybe no one way is correct! How would we know anyway? Every child is different! Susan – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >What? How can the child be all right?? The child has simply given up hope >of being listened and responded to. What is wrong with comforting a child >to sleep? Are we really to believe that by being with our child as they >fall asleep during their early years will damage them in some way later in >life? The debate appears to be that if we soothe our child to sleep then >we are not teaching them to fall asleep by themselves… quite the >contrary. We are actually teaching them to feel secure about falling >asleep. If we ignore them and let them fall asleep by crying until they no >longer can, then we are in fact enforcing feelings of anxiety associated >with falling asleep. Thoughts to ponder. Mom
Response:
> :I agree. There is a line that divides mollycoddling a child and > :teaching a child discipline, and the sleeping issue is one of the most > bvious times to see it > Wow. I really disagree that you can "mollycoddle" a 5 week old baby. > Norma
Is that the one that turned into a chimp? (8^9)
Response:
I couldn’t even imagine letting an infant cry for that long! My daughter is 3.5 now, but when an infant crying even for a few minutes would cause her to turn bright red/purple, cough, choke and eventually throw up! I always rocked my daughter mostly to sleep and she slept throught the night just fine and still does. That sounds extremely COLD – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > What? How can the child be all right?? The child has simply given up hope > of being listened and responded to. What is wrong with comforting a child > to sleep? Are we really to believe that by being with our child as they > fall asleep during their early years will damage them in some way later in > life? The debate appears to be that if we soothe our child to sleep then > we are not teaching them to fall asleep by themselves… quite the > contrary. We are actually teaching them to feel secure about falling > asleep. If we ignore them and let them fall asleep by crying until they no > longer can, then we are in fact enforcing feelings of anxiety associated > with falling asleep. Thoughts to ponder. Mom
Response:
>I couldn’t even imagine letting an infant cry for that long! My >daughter is 3.5 now, but when an infant crying even for a few minutes >would cause her to turn bright red/purple, cough, choke and eventually >throw up! I always rocked my daughter mostly to sleep and she slept >throught the night just fine and still does. That sounds extremely COLD
The original statement said the baby cried ON and OFF for 45 minutes. Now I can only speak for myself, but my baby has cried on and off even after she’d gone to sleep. If she’s over tired or teething. She’ll wake up, cry for a little bit and go back to sleep. If I were to pick her up when she’s doing this it would just wake her up more. Thankfully she doesn’t do this often at all. She goes to sleep on her own, most of the time, with a CD of lullabies playing. Now there are some babies who, for some reason, turn red, cough, choke, etc as you mentioned. Whether they cry harder or are more sensitive, I don’t know. One of my nieces is like that. If your child gets sick when he/she cries then it is a different story. But not all babies do. Kendra *Proud to be Outlandish!* http://www.geocities.com/heartland/lane/6516
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I couldn’t even imagine letting an infant cry for that long! My >daughter is 3.5 now, but when an infant crying even for a few minutes >would cause her to turn bright red/purple, cough, choke and eventually >throw up! I always rocked my daughter mostly to sleep and she slept >throught the night just fine and still does. That sounds extremely COLD > The original statement said the baby cried ON and OFF for 45 minutes. Now I > can only speak for myself, but my baby has cried on and off even after she’d > gone to sleep. If she’s over tired or teething. She’ll wake up, cry for a > little bit and go back to sleep. If I were to pick her up when she’s doing > this it would just wake her up more. Thankfully she doesn’t do this often at > all. She goes to sleep on her own, most of the time, with a CD of lullabies > playing.
My daughter is the same way. It took us a while but we finally figured out that if we didn’t let her cry for more than a minute, but instead ran right to her, she’d be awake (and ready to play) for upwards of 2 hours. We discovered that she wasn’t really "awake" and that we were making theproblem worse. We now usually wait a minute or two to see how stressful the crying is. However, if her cry rises in pitch (in the slightest) or last for more than 3 minutes we go to her. This usually means she is up for real, and needs one of us. — Paige GO LEAFS!!! proud to be Outlandish "when the guy who invented the drawing board got it wrong, what did he go back to?"
Response:
as usual, I came into the post late and thought the baby was crying for a straight 45 minutes, which you must admit is kind of excessive? I will tell you as Maya got older (3.5 now) she got hip to the fact that if she cried and started coughing and choking that everyone would pamper her etc. She’s such a little actress, she’d cry for 2 seconds and then start faking the coughing and so on….I’d look at her and just – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I couldn’t even imagine letting an infant cry for that long! My >daughter is 3.5 now, but when an infant crying even for a few minutes >would cause her to turn bright red/purple, cough, choke and eventually >throw up! I always rocked my daughter mostly to sleep and she slept >throught the night just fine and still does. That sounds extremely COLD > The original statement said the baby cried ON and OFF for 45 minutes. Now I > can only speak for myself, but my baby has cried on and off even after she’d > gone to sleep. If she’s over tired or teething. She’ll wake up, cry for a > little bit and go back to sleep. If I were to pick her up when she’s doing > this it would just wake her up more. Thankfully she doesn’t do this often at > all. She goes to sleep on her own, most of the time, with a CD of lullabies > playing. > Now there are some babies who, for some reason, turn red, cough, choke, etc as > you mentioned. Whether they cry harder or are more sensitive, I don’t know. > One of my nieces is like that. If your child gets sick when he/she cries then > it is a different story. But not all babies do. > Kendra > *Proud to be Outlandish!* > http://www.geocities.com/heartland/lane/6516
Response:
> > The original statement said the baby cried ON and OFF for 45 minutes. > My daughter is the same way. It took us a while but we finally figured > out that if we didn’t let her cry for more than a minute, but instead > ran right to her, she’d be awake (and ready to play) for upwards of 2 > hours. We discovered that she wasn’t really "awake" and that we were > making the problem worse. We now usually wait a minute or two to see how > stressful the crying is. However, if her cry rises in pitch (in the > slightest) or last for more than 3 minutes we go to her. This usually > means she is up for real, and needs one of us. > — > Paige
I agree. There is a line that divides mollycoddling a child and teaching a child discipline, and the sleeping issue is one of the most obvious times to see it. With both my daughters I have been able to tell what’s wrong by the pitch of the cry, and obviously the high pitch screams get attended to straightaway, but if it’s a half-hearted attempt carrying on and off for 30 mins or so, I leave them be. They both have slept through the night since 5 days old (my 2.5) and 6 weeks old (my 8 mth) and so have always had a sleep routine and so far in my eldest case, she was quickly rebutted when trying to test us on bedtime. It didn’t hurt her, she loves her routine now and often puts herself to bed. An acquaintance has a three year old son who has never been left to cry for very long, no matter what kind of cry it was (one wonders whether the parents are aware that there are differences!), and the result now is that he still wakes up at least twice a night wanting to be comforted and they still get up for him because they don’t know otherwise. I love my daughters a great deal but the day I forget to think about my needs as well is a sad day indeed. Children fit into your life and you work around their needs a lot of the time but they do not rule your life. However having said all that this point below is quite interesting: Patricia R. wrote The debate appears to be that if we soothe our child to sleep then :we are not teaching them to fall asleep by themselves… quite the :contrary. We are actually teaching them to feel secure about falling :asleep. If we ignore them and let them fall asleep by crying until they no longer can, then we are in fact enforcing feelings of anxiety associated with falling asleep. Thoughts to ponder. Mom This could well be true for a lot of children but I don’t think it could be said for all. It comes back to the routines the parents have put in place. If a routine is fun and relaxing then when it actually gets to the point of tucking the child in for the night, the child is satisfied after having a big day (all days are big for wee people) and they know that they need sleep. My 2.5 as I mentioned before is great at bedtime but even my 8 month old understands and quietly goes to sleep. And besides, if they do wake up sick or scared or whatever, I am always willing to break their routine and comfort them with whatever it takes. Routines don’t mean absolutely no lee-way, it just makes life easier for everyone. Leonie.
Response:
What? How can the child be all right?? The child has simply given up hope of being listened and responded to. What is wrong with comforting a child to sleep? Are we really to believe that by being with our child as they fall asleep during their early years will damage them in some way later in life? The debate appears to be that if we soothe our child to sleep then we are not teaching them to fall asleep by themselves… quite the contrary. We are actually teaching them to feel secure about falling asleep. If we ignore them and let them fall asleep by crying until they no longer can, then we are in fact enforcing feelings of anxiety associated with falling asleep. Thoughts to ponder. Mom
Response:
:What? How can the child be all right?? The child has simply given up hope f being listened and responded to. What is wrong with comforting a child :to sleep? Are we really to believe that by being with our child as they :fall asleep during their early years will damage them in some way later in :life? The debate appears to be that if we soothe our child to sleep then :we are not teaching them to fall asleep by themselves… quite the :contrary. We are actually teaching them to feel secure about falling :asleep. If we ignore them and let them fall asleep by crying until they no :longer can, then we are in fact enforcing feelings of anxiety associated :with falling asleep. Thoughts to ponder. Mom : "Attachment parenting" is a new name for a very old way of raising babies. People who do not comfort their babies in my opinion are so out of touch with their instinctual selves. You CANNOT spoil a baby under a year old. They need you constantly. Norma
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