Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Gee Darryl, with all these answers to your post I’m surprised no one > has mentioned a living trust rather than a will. A trust has all the > functionality of a will, but without the courts getting involved as with > a will. The big advantage is avoiding months, sometimes years of probate > depending on how flush you are. My Granduncle had one and even then it > took 6 months to settle everything (sell house, find lost relatives, > estate sale, etc.), and that’s without any court involvement. Meanwhile > everything was in limbo. > If I understand correctly, you give away everything you own to, eg. > ‘The Pierce Family Trust’, you still retain control of how the trust’s > assets are handled, who handles it when you go belly up, how the assets > are distributed, care of kids, etc. > So if Darryl meets his maker, it’s a big legal ‘So what?’, the trust > didn’t die. Control of the trust passes on to your wife, mistress, Glen > A., whoever. If they’re not around, the trust dissolves itself in > accordance with previous instructions. All your will says is ‘Whatever I > forgot to give to the trust, goes to the trust.’ > Do a search for living trust and find a lawyer’s webpage in your state > for the real facts. > Lance
We recently went through this and were told that we needed both a living trust (because CA has horrible probate laws, not because we have so much to leave) and a will because the trust does not address the issue of guardianship of minor children, only distribution of material assets. A will also allows you to distrubute personal posessions,often not included in the trust, to specific people, if you want to leave small rememebrances and bequests.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Gee Darryl, with all these answers to your post I’m surprised no one > has mentioned a living trust rather than a will. A trust has all the > functionality of a will, but without the courts getting involved as with > a will. The big advantage is avoiding months, sometimes years of probate > depending on how flush you are. My Granduncle had one and even then it > took 6 months to settle everything (sell house, find lost relatives, > estate sale, etc.), and that’s without any court involvement. Meanwhile > everything was in limbo. > If I understand correctly, you give away everything you own to, eg. > ‘The Pierce Family Trust’, you still retain control of how the trust’s > assets are handled, who handles it when you go belly up, how the assets > are distributed, care of kids, etc. > So if Darryl meets his maker, it’s a big legal ‘So what?’, the trust > didn’t die. Control of the trust passes on to your wife, mistress, Glen > A., whoever. If they’re not around, the trust dissolves itself in > accordance with previous instructions. All your will says is ‘Whatever I > forgot to give to the trust, goes to the trust.’ > Do a search for living trust and find a lawyer’s webpage in your state > for the real facts.
I have always wondered if adult children might have an easier time wresting control of a living trust – no longer owned by their parents away from them than of having parents declared incompetent and seizing assets that way. Anything that begins with ‘give away everything you have, but. . .’ makes me a tad nervous.
Response:
We went thorough this because I am an only child and my husband has only one brother (unmarried) who was uncertain about taking the ikids as pre-schoolers. We named a friend guardian of the kids until they were old enough that my bil felt comfortable being responsible for them. People in the grandparent generation seemed like a bad bet because if the kids had already gone through losing both parents, you don’t want to set them up to lose their guardian because the guardian is old. Now, some interesting things we learned that really helped us: You can name a financial guardian and a personal guardian for the kids and they don’t have to be the same person. So if you know someone who is warm and loving, but doesn’t share your attitudes toward money, you can separate the function. We named a finaicial instutition (Merrill Lynch, with whom we have done business for years) as our kids’ financial guardian, specifying that money was to be provided for reasonable support, education and medical expenses until they came of age. We named my b-i-l personal guardian of the kids (then 9 and 14). The kids are fond of him, and he will do a good job of parenting, but he is too big a risk taker with money to turn it all over to him. Another thing we were advised to do is to dole out the money at different ages even when they come of age – say 1/3 at 18, 1/3 at 25. and 1/3 at 30. This protects them from youthful extravagance and also protects their assets if they marry and then divorce before all the money is received, as what they haven’t got yet can’t be part of the divorce settlement. Hope this helps. Our minds were set at easy by separating the financial and personal guardianship issues.
Response:
Tonite my wife informed me of a surprise she’s had in mind for me for next year; we’re going to IRELAND! WOO HOO! I’ve been dreaming of this for a long time now, and next year I’m finally going to go back to my family’s homeland! =) Now, on to the top. One of the things we talked about was possibly taking separate flights over and back "just in case". From there we moved on to the subject of wills and who would take our boys if anything should happen to us. What have the lot of you done on this subject? We have no close friends here, her parents are getting up in years (my MIL just turned 61 yesterday and my FIL isn’t too far behind) and my family isn’t an option. How do you decide who you would want to take your children in such a situation? Christene has a close friend out in Minnesota who has two adopted children and who has the same parenting philosophy as we do. It’s a subject we’ve broached before but shied away from as often as we approached it… Is mise le meas, | Darryl L. Pierce Alt.Atheism Member #1142, Death ‘Piper of the BAAWA | | Visit me @ http://www.geocities.com/ResearchTriangle/Thinktank/1335/ | | …ignorance and prejudice and fear go hand in hand… | | Unsolicited email to this address is acceptance of a $500 per day | | storage expense to be paid within 30 days of the sending of the email. |
Response:
>Now, on to the top. One of the things we talked about was possibly taking >separate flights over and back "just in case".
OK. Makes good sense and all. However, it makes it more difficult for both of ya to become members of that famous Mile High Club, together. — Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.
Response:
;>Now, on to the top. One of the things we talked about was possibly taking ;>separate flights over and back "just in case". ; ;OK. Makes good sense and all. ; ;However, it makes it more difficult for both of ya to become ;members of that famous Mile High Club, together. Oh, you underestimate me… =) Is mise le meas, | Darryl L. Pierce Alt.Atheism Member #1142, Death ‘Piper of the BAAWA | | Visit me @ http://www.geocities.com/ResearchTriangle/Thinktank/1335/ | | …ignorance and prejudice and fear go hand in hand… | | Unsolicited email to this address is acceptance of a $500 per day | | storage expense to be paid within 30 days of the sending of the email. |
Response:
> ;>Now, on to the top. One of the things we talked about was possibly taking > ;>separate flights over and back "just in case". > ; > ;OK. Makes good sense and all. > ; > ;However, it makes it more difficult for both of ya to become > ;members of that famous Mile High Club, together. > Oh, you underestimate me… =)
Ahh then, it must be true what they say about men with big hats … (I saw your photo on Vicki’s webpage.) d;-) — Leonie Lawson Co-Creator of Maia Shea (19/11/96) and Casta Grace (9/8/98) dum vivimus, vivamus (while we live, let us live)
Response:
;> ;However, it makes it more difficult for both of ya to become ;> ;members of that famous Mile High Club, together. ;> ;> Oh, you underestimate me… =) ;> ; ;Ahh then, it must be true what they say about men with big hats … ;(I saw your photo on Vicki’s webpage.) d;-) 
Is mise le meas, | Darryl L. Pierce Alt.Atheism Member #1142, Death ‘Piper of the BAAWA | | Visit me @ http://www.geocities.com/ResearchTriangle/Thinktank/1335/ | | …ignorance and prejudice and fear go hand in hand… | | Unsolicited email to this address is acceptance of a $500 per day | | storage expense to be paid within 30 days of the sending of the email. |
Response:
> Now, on to the top. One of the things we talked about was possibly taking > separate flights over and back "just in case". From there we moved on to the > subject of wills and who would take our boys if anything should happen to us. > What have the lot of you done on this subject? We have no close friends here, > her parents are getting up in years (my MIL just turned 61 yesterday and my FIL > isn’t too far behind) and my family isn’t an option. How do you decide who you > would want to take your children in such a situation?
If there’s not a family member your comfortable with, go through the list of close firends. Perhaps each of you could make a list of all the people you could think of whom you might consider and why,as well as a list you wouldn’t consider and why not. Then compare your lists. This was the procedure we used and it worked quite well. We found we were in total agreement. My parents weren’t an option — Dad died 8 years ago and MOm is 76 and in poor health. Neither of us approve of his parents child-rearing style. We procdeed through the list of siblings. His only sibling was not an option–at 31 his borther is still living at home, has no friends and no life outside work. Going through the list of my siblings we were torn between a sister who has three children–the youngest of which is only 2 years older than our oldest and whose children all adore my kids–and a niece who is 2 years younger than me & the same age as DH. we decided on the sister becuase she was a little older and wiser, and woudla be able to handle the emotional and psychological baggage that would come with our kids in the event of our deaths. The fact that she mentioned several times that she would love to have a houseful of kids, but just handle labor even one more time certainly helped to sway our opinion (my family is blessed with and "effective uterus" so that our labor contractions don’t cause dilation). Also, as I think someone else mentioned, 61 isn’t necessarily old. If my mother were still in good health, we’d consider her even at 76. My father was 50 when I was born, and he was a wonderful parent. Lesa
Response:
;> Tonite my wife informed me of a surprise she’s had in mind for me for next year; ;> we’re going to IRELAND! WOO HOO! I’ve been dreaming of this for a long time now, ;> and next year I’m finally going to go back to my family’s homeland! =) ; ; ;Congratulations!!! What a fantastic present, you obviously are married ;to a fantastic lady. Is it a holiday or something more long term? I’m ;so jealous. Just a visit, probably 2 weeks. I’d love to move there. I keep hearing on RT
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