Pure Parents

Question:

Neat idea, but….. Some babies do things by the books as my daughter did, and some babies are early on everything as my son is, and some babies take their sweet time as my niece did.  And I would be afraid that if someone or I was to post somethign that our child did at say 3 months, that normally isnt’ done until the average age of 6 months, that someone else would start getting worried about thier child unnecessarily because thier child wasn’t doing this or that yet. We don’t want to make anyone worry or think that their baby isn’t normal.   Each baby is normal, they just each pick a different time to do different things. Maria

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Neat idea, but….. >Some babies do things by the books as my daughter did, and some babies are >early on everything as my son is, and some babies take their sweet time as >my niece did.  And I would be afraid that if someone or I was to post >somethign that our child did at say 3 months, that normally isnt’ done >until the average age of 6 months, that someone else would start getting >worried about thier child unnecessarily because thier child wasn’t doing >this or that yet. >We don’t want to make anyone worry or think that their baby isn’t normal.   >Each baby is normal, they just each pick a different time to do different >things. >Maria

I think that the argument here revolves around what is normal, and what is average.  This was explained to me once when I was concerned about the early childhood development of my daughter (now 20).   Quite simply, there is a time by which about half of children have reached a certain milestone, and that time is the ‘average’ time (mathamaticians: no flames please) for that milestone. Half of children are going to develop (in some, not necessarily all aspects) ahead of the average.  Their parents may well be excited about that, but that does not mean their child’s development is anything extraordinary.  Equally, the half of children who reach that milestone after the average are not necessarily developing in an abnormal way. The ‘normal’ time may be well spread around the average, and this is likely to give some parents cause for concern if their child is close to the longer extreme of the normal band.  As they see children of similar ages to their own having achieved milestones that their own has not achieved, there is bound to be a question the longer the child does not reach that particular mark.  But as you say, this may be quite normal. Doug F.

Response:

I don’t mean to be negative, but I’m not so sure that a milestones posting is such a great idea.  I’ve found that parents are EXTREMELY competetive and having parents post what their child is doing is just going to make other parents who’s infants are not doing a specific activity bonkers (does that make sense?).  Someone posted here once – "Every child is gifted, they just open their presents at different times".  Parenting is not a competition – and I’m afraid that a milestones posting will turn out to be just that. Just my opinion Pip mum to Zoe (8 1/2 months) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have been using this news group quite a bit lately and thought an > interesting addition would be a milestones posting for every month of an > infants growing phase.  So, I guess I’ll see if others are interested in > this by making a post for months 1 through 12 and hopefully y’all will > start posting the milestones your babies are going through underneath them > and maybe any problems that go along with them so that others can use them > for reference and sometimes comfort.   > hope it works > randi reynolds

Response:

I have been using this news group quite a bit lately and thought an interesting addition would be a milestones posting for every month of an infants growing phase.  So, I guess I’ll see if others are interested in this by making a post for months 1 through 12 and hopefully y’all will start posting the milestones your babies are going through underneath them and maybe any problems that go along with them so that others can use them for reference and sometimes comfort.   hope it works randi reynolds

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