Pure Parents

Question:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I babysit my youngest brother (6) while my mother works full time. I am >getting so sick of it already. I have another brother (12) who still >cannot tie his own shoes (no joke, I am serious) and my parents say they >just don’t have the time. I am constantly clipping the 6 y/o’s >fingernails and toe nails, and I feel like my parents are taking a major >advantage of me. Today is the kicker. My mom was supposed to pick up my >brother early from my house. Well, her car is making a funny noise, so >instead of having him picked up by 330p, it will be more like 530p. She >says she does not have the time to teach her 12 y/o to tie his shoes, >yet has the time to clean her cupboards with a new towel she has. I am >furious. I am getting ready to quit on her. On Sunday, she dropped them >off so her and my father could go out for the evening at 12N, that was >already agreed upon, but they had not eaten lunch yet. I mean, I grew up >when we had lunch at 11. She seems so lazy to me. And my brothers do not >do chores at all. My mother, when she feels it needs done, cleans their >rooms. In order for me to watch my bothers at her house I have to clean >the living room so I can walk through it to get to the kitchen, AND >clean the kitchen so I can make lunch. I am so sick of it. And when I >bring it up to her she says "You raise your kid your way and I will >raise my kids my way". She does not see that she is NOT raising them. >Thanks for letting me vent. Any suggestions on how to reach her will be >appreciated. Personal emails are great. And this IS NOT a flame on >working parents. If you can be a parent and a worker, that is great

Sara I appreciate that you feel as if your mom is taking advantage of you, but there are some questions about specifics that can help us to give better advice on what course of action you may want to take. First, it sounds like you are old enough to have your own household and your own child? If that is the case, how much support is your mother giving you toward your own living expenses? Are you being paid for your services or are you babysitting for free? My answer to how to talk to your mom about what is happening depend a lot on your situation in relation to her and your dad. Also, you mention that when you were young you ate at 11 am. Is this indicative of the fact that your mom has become more laid back about her parenting since you were young?  Perhaps she has learned new parenting skills that you wish she had applied when you were a child? If there are issues of this kind involved, perhaps you need to think that through before you talk to her. Get your ideas clear in your own head so that you know where you are coming from in the dispute. As for your 12 year old brother, perhaps his not knowing how to tie his shoes involves wanting attention from whoever does it for him.  Think about the issues that may be involved from his point of view as well as your own if you can. Dorothy

Response:

I babysit my youngest brother (6) while my mother works full time. I am getting so sick of it already. I have another brother (12) who still cannot tie his own shoes (no joke, I am serious) and my parents say they just don’t have the time. I am constantly clipping the 6 y/o’s fingernails and toe nails, and I feel like my parents are taking a major advantage of me. Today is the kicker. My mom was supposed to pick up my brother early from my house. Well, her car is making a funny noise, so instead of having him picked up by 330p, it will be more like 530p. She says she does not have the time to teach her 12 y/o to tie his shoes, yet has the time to clean her cupboards with a new towel she has. I am furious. I am getting ready to quit on her. On Sunday, she dropped them off so her and my father could go out for the evening at 12N, that was already agreed upon, but they had not eaten lunch yet. I mean, I grew up when we had lunch at 11. She seems so lazy to me. And my brothers do not do chores at all. My mother, when she feels it needs done, cleans their rooms. In order for me to watch my bothers at her house I have to clean the living room so I can walk through it to get to the kitchen, AND clean the kitchen so I can make lunch. I am so sick of it. And when I bring it up to her she says "You raise your kid your way and I will raise my kids my way". She does not see that she is NOT raising them. Thanks for letting me vent. Any suggestions on how to reach her will be appreciated. Personal emails are great. And this IS NOT a flame on working parents. If you can be a parent and a worker, that is great Sara

Response: