Question:
thanks for the replies— here’s where we are at: the "teacher" did a write-up to our pediatrician, and made certain to add in all of the symptoms of a.d.d.— none of which, by the way, do we witness at home, and we spend quite alot of time with him at home… we had an appointment with the pediatrician this week, and based on the teacher’s report, wrote him a prescription for ritalin. i have taken the script to the pharmacy, but have yet to pick it up. i scheduled a session of "psycho-educational evaluation" testing for next week, and will wait for those results before starting meds. i have also had some discussions with a friend who teaches in a private school where the teacher/student ratio is 9-11/1… this may be a way to go also. i am happy to keep you all up-to-date. a happy and healthy new year to all. Alan – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Unfortunately, the teacher has to be willing to "cooperate" and use behavior > modification. What do you do when they don’t? We have had meetings with > the school psychologist, the guidance counselor, the school diagnostician, > AND the teachers (both last year and this year). Many things have been > recommended. Some have even worked to some degree. Do the teachers > continue them? NO! > Marion—-Tampamom to Louis(6) and Erica(2) >As a child psychologist, I have seen too many children referred to >their pediatrician for medication when simple cooperation between the >parent and the school or some easy to use behavior modification will >solve the problem. For some tips on how to help your kindergartener >you might try http://www.cdipage.com/behave.htm. >050.remarq.com>… >> >Tampamom, >> > I know many people who are experiencing the same thing. Even in >> >kindergarten. I work with schools directly with developmentally >> >disabled children, and my nephew is a very intelligent kindergartener >> >with no special needs. >> > The schools today are not meeting the needs of children. At >all!!! >> >Not even the needs of children that don’t have special needs. >Teachers >> >seem to have forgotten what a child is supposed to act like, >> >(especially young boys) and often suggest drugs, such as ritalin, to >> >solve problems. >> If you know a teacher who is recommending medication, you should >immediately >> report them to their higherups and possibly to law enforcement in >your area. >> They are practicing medicine without a license. This is illegal. >> Leah >Before you buy.
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Hmmm… When I was bored in the third grade the school talked with my mom about putting me forward a grade. What a difference 30 years makes, eh? BTW, I wasn’t put up a grade because there was concern about moving me out of my peer group. 
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> AHA!!!! > How long have I wondered if I’M THE ONLY ONE!!! > I have seven year old identical twin boys, both who are very intelligent. We > keep them in separate classes, and recently I have been told that one of them > "must have a.d.d.". > We are having him tested, albeit, if only to rule out the teacher’s assessment, > but true enough, boys will be boys! > Is he a behaviour problem? No. > Is he a slow learner? No. > Is he disruptive? No. > What’s the problem? > We think he is bored in 2nd grade. When he comes home and reads the Los Angeles > Times on the internet, or can name just about every player in the National > Hockey League (some of the wives also), and can just about recite the entire > line-up for the Disney Channel!!! > What do you all think? > Alan
I just had to reply on the stark difference between schools then & now so I figure that just a small introduction is in order. I’ve been a lurker quite some time. I’m 39 & don’t have any kids. My boyfriend is the custodial parent of his 8 year old daughter. I’ve known both of them 10+ months. The probability is quite high that I will be this child’s step mom in the next 6-12 months. To that end, I figured I’d better find out a bit more about being a parent. Especially as I see the child as many weekends as her mom does. So basically I’m thinking about being a parent just when I was really getting into the swing of things as far as being a doting, maiden (accurate figuratively only since I have been married) aunt. Take care of yourselves, Melody
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Unfortunately, the teacher has to be willing to "cooperate" and use behavior modification. What do you do when they don’t? We have had meetings with the school psychologist, the guidance counselor, the school diagnostician, AND the teachers (both last year and this year). Many things have been recommended. Some have even worked to some degree. Do the teachers continue them? NO! Marion—-Tampamom to Louis(6) and Erica(2) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >As a child psychologist, I have seen too many children referred to >their pediatrician for medication when simple cooperation between the >parent and the school or some easy to use behavior modification will >solve the problem. For some tips on how to help your kindergartener >you might try http://www.cdipage.com/behave.htm. >050.remarq.com>… > >Tampamom, > > I know many people who are experiencing the same thing. Even in > >kindergarten. I work with schools directly with developmentally > >disabled children, and my nephew is a very intelligent kindergartener > >with no special needs. > > The schools today are not meeting the needs of children. At >all!!! > >Not even the needs of children that don’t have special needs. >Teachers > >seem to have forgotten what a child is supposed to act like, > >(especially young boys) and often suggest drugs, such as ritalin, to > >solve problems. > If you know a teacher who is recommending medication, you should >immediately > report them to their higherups and possibly to law enforcement in >your area. > They are practicing medicine without a license. This is illegal. > Leah >Before you buy.
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – teacher > suggested to me that he needed medications, I >wouldn’t even consider reporting her to the police. I would get a >second opinion from a qualified medical professional, using her advice>as > merely piece of information in my decision making. >Cathy Weeks > A teacher’s advice should be something like- "I think your child needs to be > seen by a doctor because of (ear pain, behavior, etc.) *Not* I think your > child has (an ear infection, ADHD, Autism, Eczema, whatever). A teacher also > shouldn’t suggest a treatment- be it antibiotics, ritalin, etc. A teaching > degree does not qualify someone to make a medical diagnosis. > I work with children with a variety of special needs, and can often > recognize children with certain disorders, but I would never tell a parent > your child has X.
Hmmm….I too have been a teacher. And I am certainly not qualified to make a medical diagnosis, but more importantly, I cannot act on it. However, my suspicions of medical problems are based on having worked with LOTS of kids, and are both valid, and usually correct. And I don’t see anything wrong with telling a child’s parents that I suspect a certain disorder. In fact, I spent MORE time with many of the kids I worked with than did their parents, and I feel I would have been remiss in not passing on suspicions that I had to the parents. I think what’s being argued here is merely a matter of semantics. It’s ok to say "I think you should see a doctor because of certain behavior," but it’s not ok to say "I think you should see a doctor, because I think your child may have ADHD" ? I also see nothing wrong in saying "I think your child may have ADHD, and there are certain medications that may be of help. I would advise you to consult a doctor." As a parent, I would be MORE concerned if a teacher outlined some vague behavioral issues, suggested I see a doctor, but not give me some idea of what might be going on. ("Your child is acting up in class a lot. You might go see a doctor.") I once diagnosed a kid with Lyme disease, because she had a bullseye rash on her arm, and had been outdoors a great deal. A rash is usually no big deal to parents. They put a little cortaid on most of them, and it goes away. If the parents had done this in this little girl’s case, she would have been one very sick little girl. If I had followed your advice "I think your child needs to be seen by a doctor because she has a rash on her arm" they might not have followed through. I said instead "I think she needs to be seen by a doctor because she has a bullseye rash on her arm, and that is often a warning sign of Lyme disease, which if treated early can prevent a long, drawn-out illness." I merely said that a teacher isn’t breaking the law by suggesting to a parent that the child might need medication. The teacher might have worded it poorly, but that’s a matter of insensitivity, not criminality. Cathy Weeks Before you buy.
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suggested to me that he needed medications, I >wouldn’t even consider reporting her to the police. I would get a >second opinion from a qualified medical professional, using her advice>as
merely piece of information in my decision making. >Cathy Weeks
A teacher’s advice should be something like- "I think your child needs to be seen by a doctor because of (ear pain, behavior, etc.) *Not* I think your child has (an ear infection, ADHD, Autism, Eczema, whatever). A teacher also shouldn’t suggest a treatment- be it antibiotics, ritalin, etc. A teaching degree does not qualify someone to make a medical diagnosis. I work with children with a variety of special needs, and can often recognize children with certain disorders, but I would never tell a parent your child has X. Tara P
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>As a child psychologist, I have seen too many children referred to
their pediatrician for medication when simple cooperation between the parent and the school or some easy to use behavior modification will solve the problem. For some tips on how to help your kindergartener >you might try .cdipage.com/behave.htm.
This was a very good site! I am reading "Parent Talk" by Chick Mooreman and it is a great eye opener. It also lets you forgive your old parenting styles and allows without guilt, to slide into a better way. Thank for the good information. "Man is the only kind of varmit that sets his own trap, baits it, then steps into it." J.Stienbeck
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<snip> >I don’t know if I want my 4 year old son in >school, or traditional school anyway. In my opinion schools are failing in >accepting kids as kids. I will seek out an alternative school instead, or >homeschool. — Peace, Michelle Peace, Michelle
Michelle, here is a link from some one of the sites that I found. I personally looked into the idea of homeschooling, but I felt that the small school that my son attends is very good. They are "up" on things and catch many problems when they are minor, and not when they become major. You know the small town ways… =) It takes a village to raise a child is still in tact. I also found I was not as disciplined as I wished to home school. I do worksheets and activites with my four year old, but we both become quite bored. I wish you the best of luck. I have seen many successful and well rounded kids come out of homeschool. Here are a couple of links: http://www.come-over.to/homeschool http://www.educate.org.uk/ "Man is the only kind of varmit that sets his own trap, baits it, then steps into it." J.Stienbeck
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My son has been misbehaving in Kindergarden and I don’t know what > to do> > <snip> > That is when she said he was doing fine but my son > said he was > getting in trouble. He is a very honest little boy. I really > need some > advise, i feel helpless with this situation. > Thanks, > Allie > Go over the teacher’s head, immediately, and demand a conference > with the principal. If you have a friend who is an attorney, or > one who is a social worker, or nurse, or anyone who the schoool > system cannot intimidate, then bring that person along. > Jane > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
After reading all the posts I don’t know if I want my 4 year old son in school, or traditional school anyway. In my opinion schools are failing in accepting kids as kids. I will seek out an alternative school instead, or homeschool. — Peace, Michelle Peace, Michelle Before you buy.
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – 050.remarq.com>… > The schools today are not meeting the needs of children. At all!!! >Not even the needs of children that don’t have special needs. Teachers >seem to have forgotten what a child is supposed to act like, >(especially young boys) and often suggest drugs, such as ritalin, to >solve problems. > If you know a teacher who is recommending medication, you should immediately > report them to their higherups and possibly to law enforcement in your area. > They are practicing medicine without a license. This is illegal.
I’m not sure you are right. A teacher can suggest that maybe a child needs medications, but since a parent can’t obtain the meds without getting a doctor’s prescription, the teacher’s advice hardly matters, except perhaps as an early warning that maybe the child needs to see a doctor. Think of it this way…if your child is showing the signs of an ear infection, and you realize he or she probably needs anti-biotics, are you committing a crime by saying so out loud? Even if you are wrong? No. Dispensing the drugs without seeing a doctor, on the other hand, IS practicing medicine without a license. If my stepson’s teacher suggested to me that he needed medications, I wouldn’t even consider reporting her to the police. I would get a second opinion from a qualified medical professional, using her advice as merely piece of information in my decision making. Cathy Weeks Before you buy.
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As a child psychologist, I have seen too many children referred to their pediatrician for medication when simple cooperation between the parent and the school or some easy to use behavior modification will solve the problem. For some tips on how to help your kindergartener you might try http://www.cdipage.com/behave.htm. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – 050.remarq.com>… >Tampamom, > I know many people who are experiencing the same thing. Even in >kindergarten. I work with schools directly with developmentally >disabled children, and my nephew is a very intelligent kindergartener >with no special needs. > The schools today are not meeting the needs of children. At all!!! >Not even the needs of children that don’t have special needs. Teachers >seem to have forgotten what a child is supposed to act like, >(especially young boys) and often suggest drugs, such as ritalin, to >solve problems. > If you know a teacher who is recommending medication, you should immediately > report them to their higherups and possibly to law enforcement in your area. > They are practicing medicine without a license. This is illegal. > Leah
Before you buy.
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> My son has been misbehaving in Kindergarden and I don’t know what > to do>
<snip> That is when she said he was doing fine but my son > said he was > getting in trouble. He is a very honest little boy. I really > need some > advise, i feel helpless with this situation. > Thanks, > Allie
Go over the teacher’s head, immediately, and demand a conference with the principal. If you have a friend who is an attorney, or one who is a social worker, or nurse, or anyone who the schoool system cannot intimidate, then bring that person along. Jane * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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The whole concept of pusihng data and facts without regard for learning style, or simple child-like behaviour seems to be more and more prevelant today. It’s this attitude that is causing the difficulties with test scores, etc for older kids, at least IMO. the biggest push our here now is that the teachers must need mroe training. The state has devised several training programs and all teachers will be required to take at least 6 hours of training, outside of school time. Unfortunately these trainings are pretty much worthless. There’s a training course for giving each one of the new standardized tests, and how to teach toward this test, or trainings on new techaing techniques. IN other words, the state has found ways to spend even less time adjusting their teaching to thier students learning styles and spend less time interacting with students to help them through difficulties. IMO there is absolutely nothing wrong with your child. He’s a perfectly normal 5/6 yr old. Any school that forces young children to sit at their desk for 3-4 hours without movement or activity is failing them. The same goes for a school in which the student is punished for havine the forethough and independance to pick up a dropped thermos lid. Lesa
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Thanks Hannah, > It’s nice to know that I am not the only one who feels that it is the > schools that are the problem more than the kids. I was a kindergarten > teacher before I had my son, so it’s not like I have no idea what a > classroom should be like. Unfortunately, because of the problems in the > high schools, everyone has pointed their fingers down the line until now > they are expecting kindergartners to be reading by October. They are doing > double digit addition in first grade and my son even got an Unsatisfactory > in Punctuation on his first report card this year because he didn’t always > start a sentence with a capital or always end it with a period. Tell me, > isn’t that what he’s supposed to be LEARNING in 1st grade?! They do not > have recess every day and the school day is set up so that all seat work > takes place one subject after the other in the AM and the more relaxed > subjects are scheduled in the PM > I am under no illusions about his behavior. He calls out, he gets out of > his seat, he fidgets etc. But then again, he gets into trouble in the > lunchroom for getting out of his seat to pick up the top to his thermos. > It’s ludicrous, but they are supposed to leave it on the floor, raise their > hand and wait for an aide to come over! His latest infraction was that he > turned around in line(in the lunch room) to talk to someone. > We are having him evaluated in January and I’m sad to say that in a way, I > hope he is found to have ADD if only because it will force the teacher to > deal with him. We have had 3 meetings so far and suggested myriad ways to > help guide his behavior, but it just seems to be too much "trouble" for the > teacher and she resists until we insist. It wasn’t supposed to be this > way. After the problems last year we had put in a request for his teacher > to be hand-chosen based on his personality, behavior challenges etc. (The > school won’t let you request a specific teacher, but will honor requests > phrased like I mentioned). Unfortunately, this class was all set up for a > specific teacher who the guidance counselor said would have been perfect for > Louis…but her husband was transferred out-of-state in July and this > teacher was assigned instead. I am upset that we weren’t told of the > switch &/or that Louis wasn’t then moved into another class with a teacher > who was more in tune with what we had requested. But we are waiting until > after the evaluation to request a meeting with the principal. Until then, > I am just thankful that he is on vacation, where he can act like a normal > little boy. > Marion—–Tampamom to Louis(6) and Erica(2) >Tampamom, > I know many people who are experiencing the same thing. Even in >kindergarten. I work with schools directly with developmentally >disabled children, and my nephew is a very intelligent kindergartener >with no special needs. > The schools today are not meeting the needs of children. At all!!! >Not even the needs of children that don’t have special needs. Teachers >seem to have forgotten what a child is supposed to act like, >(especially young boys) and often suggest drugs, such as ritalin, to >solve problems. The teachers are often the ones with the problem. A >lack of education and ability to direct a classroom of 30+ children. > What you need to do is schedule a meeting with the teacher >directly. Either call or go to the teacher in person to do this. Then >find out SPECIFICALLY what behaviors your child is doing. Is he >talking, getting out of his seat, touching others? Why is his name on >the board? Then propose suggestions to fix the problem. If she is >resistive then you know she does not have the interest of your child in >mind and wants to make her class easier to manage. (In this case you >should go to the Principal). If she is receptive, maybe you can attend >class like you wanted and become a help to her. > let me know if this was helpful. >good luck in concquering this challenge, you aren’t alone!! > Hannah >* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network > * >The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Thanks Hannah, It’s nice to know that I am not the only one who feels that it is the schools that are the problem more than the kids. I was a kindergarten teacher before I had my son, so it’s not like I have no idea what a classroom should be like. Unfortunately, because of the problems in the high schools, everyone has pointed their fingers down the line until now they are expecting kindergartners to be reading by October. They are doing double digit addition in first grade and my son even got an Unsatisfactory in Punctuation on his first report card this year because he didn’t always start a sentence with a capital or always end it with a period. Tell me, isn’t that what he’s supposed to be LEARNING in 1st grade?! They do not have recess every day and the school day is set up so that all seat work takes place one subject after the other in the AM and the more relaxed subjects are scheduled in the PM I am under no illusions about his behavior. He calls out, he gets out of his seat, he fidgets etc. But then again, he gets into trouble in the lunchroom for getting out of his seat to pick up the top to his thermos. It’s ludicrous, but they are supposed to leave it on the floor, raise their hand and wait for an aide to come over! His latest infraction was that he turned around in line(in the lunch room) to talk to someone. We are having him evaluated in January and I’m sad to say that in a way, I hope he is found to have ADD if only because it will force the teacher to deal with him. We have had 3 meetings so far and suggested myriad ways to help guide his behavior, but it just seems to be too much "trouble" for the teacher and she resists until we insist. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. After the problems last year we had put in a request for his teacher to be hand-chosen based on his personality, behavior challenges etc. (The school won’t let you request a specific teacher, but will honor requests phrased like I mentioned). Unfortunately, this class was all set up for a specific teacher who the guidance counselor said would have been perfect for Louis…but her husband was transferred out-of-state in July and this teacher was assigned instead. I am upset that we weren’t told of the switch &/or that Louis wasn’t then moved into another class with a teacher who was more in tune with what we had requested. But we are waiting until after the evaluation to request a meeting with the principal. Until then, I am just thankful that he is on vacation, where he can act like a normal little boy. Marion—–Tampamom to Louis(6) and Erica(2) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Tampamom, > I know many people who are experiencing the same thing. Even in >kindergarten. I work with schools directly with developmentally >disabled children, and my nephew is a very intelligent kindergartener >with no special needs. > The schools today are not meeting the needs of children. At all!!! >Not even the needs of children that don’t have special needs. Teachers >seem to have forgotten what a child is supposed to act like, >(especially young boys) and often suggest drugs, such as ritalin, to >solve problems. The teachers are often the ones with the problem. A >lack of education and ability to direct a classroom of 30+ children. > What you need to do is schedule a meeting with the teacher >directly. Either call or go to the teacher in person to do this. Then >find out SPECIFICALLY what behaviors your child is doing. Is he >talking, getting out of his seat, touching others? Why is his name on >the board? Then propose suggestions to fix the problem. If she is >resistive then you know she does not have the interest of your child in >mind and wants to make her class easier to manage. (In this case you >should go to the Principal). If she is receptive, maybe you can attend >class like you wanted and become a help to her. > let me know if this was helpful. >good luck in concquering this challenge, you aren’t alone!! > Hannah >* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * >The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Tampamom, I know many people who are experiencing the same thing. Even in kindergarten. I work with schools directly with developmentally disabled children, and my nephew is a very intelligent kindergartener with no special needs. The schools today are not meeting the needs of children. At all!!! Not even the needs of children that don’t have special needs. Teachers seem to have forgotten what a child is supposed to act like, (especially young boys) and often suggest drugs, such as ritalin, to solve problems. The teachers are often the ones with the problem. A lack of education and ability to direct a classroom of 30+ children. What you need to do is schedule a meeting with the teacher directly. Either call or go to the teacher in person to do this. Then find out SPECIFICALLY what behaviors your child is doing. Is he talking, getting out of his seat, touching others? Why is his name on the board? Then propose suggestions to fix the problem. If she is resistive then you know she does not have the interest of your child in mind and wants to make her class easier to manage. (In this case you should go to the Principal). If she is receptive, maybe you can attend class like you wanted and become a help to her. let me know if this was helpful. good luck in concquering this challenge, you aren’t alone!! Hannah * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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AHA!!!! How long have I wondered if I’M THE ONLY ONE!!! I have seven year old identical twin boys, both who are very intelligent. We keep them in separate classes, and recently I have been told that one of them "must have a.d.d.". We are having him tested, albeit, if only to rule out the teacher’s assessment, but true enough, boys will be boys! Is he a behaviour problem? No. Is he a slow learner? No. Is he disruptive? No. What’s the problem? We think he is bored in 2nd grade. When he comes home and reads the Los Angeles Times on the internet, or can name just about every player in the National Hockey League (some of the wives also), and can just about recite the entire line-up for the Disney Channel!!! What do you all think? Alan – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Tampamom, > I know many people who are experiencing the same thing. Even in > kindergarten. I work with schools directly with developmentally > disabled children, and my nephew is a very intelligent kindergartener > with no special needs. > The schools today are not meeting the needs of children. At all!!! > Not even the needs of children that don’t have special needs. Teachers > seem to have forgotten what a child is supposed to act like, > (especially young boys) and often suggest drugs, such as ritalin, to > solve problems. The teachers are often the ones with the problem. A > lack of education and ability to direct a classroom of 30+ children. > What you need to do is schedule a meeting with the teacher > directly. Either call or go to the teacher in person to do this. Then > find out SPECIFICALLY what behaviors your child is doing. Is he > talking, getting out of his seat, touching others? Why is his name on > the board? Then propose suggestions to fix the problem. If she is > resistive then you know she does not have the interest of your child in > mind and wants to make her class easier to manage. (In this case you > should go to the Principal). If she is receptive, maybe you can attend > class like you wanted and become a help to her. > let me know if this was helpful. > good luck in concquering this challenge, you aren’t alone!! > Hannah > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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I think you should have a serious talk with the teacher and if nothing happens consult the principal. To tell you the truth i’m not absolutley sure so do anything you want but this was just a sugestion so dont do anything right away. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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This a want to write to jj1547 because I think what she wrote isn’t absolutely true because you cant not listen to the teache but if you get another note home about your child come to the teacher and say what is this. And if she doesn’t answer talk to the principal. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My advice to you would be to home school your child. > My son has been misbehaving in Kindergarden and I don’t know what > to do. At > first his teacher said he was doing fine even though my son said > he had gotten > in trouble mutiply times. Then after a Halloween Parade I noticed > his name on > the board. At report card time i had a conference with his > teacher and she > said he was doing fine and that he just taked sometimes out of > turn. I wanted > to go to his class and observe his behavior (which more than > likely would be > different) but it would also let him know that i was not going to > tolerate that > behavior and that i was going to watch him myself. His teacher > said she did > not want me in her classroom, she said it would disturb things > even if i sat > quietly in the corner. This was unusual because she has parent > helpers there > everyday. I don’t know why i couldn’t help but she was against > it. I guess > because I am not as socialally involved as some other parents > Well, today i > got a note home saying he has been actting horriblly in most of > the activities > except lunch. I know something has to change and the odd things > is that he is > a very well behaved boy at home. He did really well in Preschool > and infact > was the best behaved child according to his teacher there. I just > don’t know > what to do. I am sending a note to his teacher asking her to call > me. I tried > sending a note to her previously, actually three notes and none > were answered. > Finally i asked the lady in the office to put me right through to > her > classroom. That is when she said he was doing fine but my son > said he was > getting in trouble. He is a very honest little boy. I really > need some > advise, i feel helpless with this situation. > Thanks, > Allie > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Homeschooling may be a good alternative but for now, first you need to get a more take charge attitude regarding your son and school. Public schools are public domain which means that as a taxpayer you are able to visit it anytime (of course make sure the office knows you are there) Please don’t be intimidated by the teacher. A good time to reach her is about one half hour before class starts and tell her you would like to set up a meeting with her. Start now being an advocate for your child if he is going to attend school. You must be the one to approach teachers if you have any concerns, and trust me you will. Hope this helps, — Peace, Michelle Before you buy.
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> My son has been misbehaving in Kindergarden and I don’t know what > to do teacher said he was doing fine even though my son said > he had gotten in trouble mutiply times.
First, you are on the right path by looking at the problem and asking for help. Second, nevr let a teacher tell you what to do. Go to the classrooom sit down and watch what is going on. Your child will act differently for awhile knowing your there then move into what is comfortable and normal. That is when you get a good look at what is going on. Observe your child for several days if you can, then sit down and write out behavior descriptions (what you saw and heard only, no value judgements). Then sit down with your child and share your observations, just as observations. Then let your child know that you or someone you choose will be observing for the next week and that you will sit down again in a week and discuss the observations. Just identifying the behaviors and not makine any judgements will eleminate 50% of the behaviors. During the week , after the first observation, start looking at the reasons why children misbehave in general. Is your child trying to get attention in class? Are there hurt feelings? Is it a power struggle? Is there some sorce of anger that is being released at school? I know it sound like a lot but it is not if you take it one step at a time. I work with kids all the time. This is not unusual, it helps to stay on Hope it helps. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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oops forgot my intro on the earlier post Susan Tillery mother of two boys now 11 and 13. I also volunteer, mostly in the school library, and have taught middle school and high school math.
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My advice to you would be to home school your child. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My son has been misbehaving in Kindergarden and I don’t know what > to do. At > first his teacher said he was doing fine even though my son said > he had gotten > in trouble mutiply times. Then after a Halloween Parade I noticed > his name on > the board. At report card time i had a conference with his > teacher and she > said he was doing fine and that he just taked sometimes out of > turn. I wanted > to go to his class and observe his behavior (which more than > likely would be > different) but it would also let him know that i was not going to > tolerate that > behavior and that i was going to watch him myself. His teacher > said she did > not want me in her classroom, she said it would disturb things > even if i sat > quietly in the corner. This was unusual because she has parent > helpers there > everyday. I don’t know why i couldn’t help but she was against > it. I guess > because I am not as socialally involved as some other parents > Well, today i > got a note home saying he has been actting horriblly in most of > the activities > except lunch. I know something has to change and the odd things > is that he is > a very well behaved boy at home. He did really well in Preschool > and infact > was the best behaved child according to his teacher there. I just > don’t know > what to do. I am sending a note to his teacher asking her to call > me. I tried > sending a note to her previously, actually three notes and none > were answered. > Finally i asked the lady in the office to put me right through to > her > classroom. That is when she said he was doing fine but my son > said he was > getting in trouble. He is a very honest little boy. I really > need some > advise, i feel helpless with this situation. > Thanks, > Allie
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Since I didn’t see the original post I may be out of line but… > Since the teacher is so against your participation, it sounds like she > has it in for you/your son. I wouldn’t be surprised if her actions > towards your son are causing him to act up.
Some teachers are uncomfortable with volunteers in the classroom, hard to believe in a kindergarten teacher but it is possible. > My suggestions are: > 1. Ask for specific details on how he is acting up, for example, the > situations causing it, the kids he is playing with, how the teacher is > dealing with it etc. Make her be really specific.
very good suggestion. If there is a school councilor you might also talk with him/her. > 2. Insist that you want to be a helper. If she says for sure no, then > see if there is another way you can get into the situation to observe > your toddler at school.
Every school I have been in (and we have moved a lot due to my husband’s work) has provisions to allow you to go into the classroom to observe. You may need to go through the school principal or councilor to do this and make an appointment but you should be able to do it. Also this is not a complete solution as children will sometimes act differently when they know mom is there. The child may well be on his or her good behavior or get distracted by mom’s presence. > 3. If she continues to be nasty towards you, see the principal, > supervisor or whoever her superior is. Be very calm and appear > concerned rather than irate.
Calm, concerned, and supportive is a stellar idea. Project an attitude of helpfulness. Ask "what is the problem?" " how can I help?" ’Nastiness’ can be a sign of an inexperienced or insecure teacher. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> 4. Don’t worry what she says. If your child is gentle and kind at > home and in other social settings, he doesn’t have the problem – the > teacher does. > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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I think you first need to find out why she won’t let you in the classroom when she allows other parents. Did she say she didn’t want you as a helper or just as a visitor? Is it possible to just show up? What is the official school policy regarding parent visitors/helpers? Do you know any of the moms who are allowed in? Could they sort of "spy" for you to let you know what is going on in the meantime until the above is straightened out? What does he say he is getting in trouble for? Is he having difficulty with the work? If the notes you are sending in aren’t getting a response, call and leave your message that way or ask the office when the best time to call and speak to her might be. Just some thoughts, Marion—Tampamom to Louis(6) and Erica(2) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >My son has been misbehaving in Kindergarden and I don’t know what to do. At >first his teacher said he was doing fine even though my son said he had gotten >in trouble mutiply times. Then after a Halloween Parade I noticed his name on >the board. At report card time i had a conference with his teacher and she >said he was doing fine and that he just taked sometimes out of turn. I wanted >to go to his class and observe his behavior (which more than likely would be >different) but it would also let him know that i was not going to tolerate that >behavior and that i was going to watch him myself. His teacher said she did >not want me in her classroom, she said it would disturb things even if i sat >quietly in the corner. This was unusual because she has parent helpers there >everyday. I don’t know why i couldn’t help but she was against it. I guess >because I am not as socialally involved as some other parents Well, today i >got a note home saying he has been actting horriblly in most of the activities >except lunch. I know something has to change and the odd things is that he is >a very well behaved boy at home. He did really well in Preschool and infa ct >was the best behaved child according to his teacher there. I just don’t know >what to do. I am sending a note to his teacher asking her to call me. I tried >sending a note to her previously, actually three notes and none were answered. >Finally i asked the lady in the office to put me right through to her >classroom. That is when she said he was doing fine but my son said he was >getting in trouble. He is a very honest little boy. I really need some >advise, i feel helpless with this situation. >Thanks, >Allie
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My son has been misbehaving in Kindergarden and I don’t know what to do. At first his teacher said he was doing fine even though my son said he had gotten in trouble mutiply times. Then after a Halloween Parade I noticed his name on the board. At report card time i had a conference with his teacher and she said he was doing fine and that he just taked sometimes out of turn. I wanted to go to his class and observe his behavior (which more than likely would be different) but it would also let him know that i was not going to tolerate that behavior and that i was going to watch him myself. His teacher said she did not want me in her classroom, she said it would disturb things even if i sat quietly in the corner. This was unusual because she has parent helpers there everyday. I don’t know why i couldn’t help but she was against it. I guess because I am not as socialally involved as some other parents Well, today i got a note home saying he has been actting horriblly in most of the activities except lunch. I know something has to change and the odd things is that he is a very well behaved boy at home. He did really well in Preschool and infact was the best behaved child according to his teacher there. I just don’t know what to do. I am sending a note to his teacher asking her to call me. I tried sending a note to her previously, actually three notes and none were answered. Finally i asked the lady in the office to put me right through to her classroom. That is when she said he was doing fine but my son said he was getting in trouble. He is a very honest little boy. I really need some advise, i feel helpless with this situation. Thanks, Allie
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