Pure Parents

Question:

but when an adult is fed up to the line with you shit-thinking assholes after long years of seeing your bull-crap. Then why be here Steve?

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >This never happened with my parents, they were accidentally harmless and > >gentle with us, > Steve, I think I am finally starting to figure you out. You remind me of a > little girl up the street who is nothing but a spoiled brat because her parents > give her what she wants and never efficiently discipline her. > Oh THAT’S novel, no one has tried THAT one for at LEAST three weeks > now!! The likes of you repressed heads-up your asses will fish around > for something to say that’s deprecating about my upbringing, esepcially > if I appear happier than you are!! > Now if only your THEORY about what "spoiledness" IS OR COMES FROM was > even correct (it’s NOT), why then you’d be smugly able to try > desperately to invalidate me, wouldn’t ya? > Kids who are vicious are that way because of what was done to them in > their youth by their parents, but when an adult is fed up to the line > with you shit-thinking assholes after long years of seeing your > bull-crap you would just LOVE to prefer that a critic of the SHIT IN > YOUR HEADS was merely "being mean to you" rather than telling you > something that you really NEED to listen to and won’t even wake up to > hear without a significant amount of insult, as I’ve learned from > decades of seeing the likes of you TRY to dismiss all such good advice > for fear of admitting any blame for your violence, viciousness and > cruelty to your kids!! > She says horrible > things to her acquaintancs, treats them meanly, and because of that, she > doesn’t have real friends. > Hah! I don’t pick my friends from among the ranks of abusive parents, > so when you imagine that I simply am not friendly, instead of the more > obvious conclusion, that I would NEVER be YOUR friend, you are vainly > imagining that you DESERVE my friendship, which you do NOT until you’ve > turned over a new leaf and have become a friend to your children!! > You are nothing but a spoiled little boy who is still filled with so much anger > leftover from childhood. > What you think of as "spoiledness", out of the mouth of any vicious > authoritarian like you, is a laudatory description of me!! Any slave as > uppity as I am would be declared a "behavior problem" among the more > beaten down among your other slaves! > Obviously, if you felt your parents did something > right in your growing up years, you wouldn’t have this built-up anger and > hostility towards other parents who are respecting each other and sharing > opinions > If I had met a group of genuinely harmless kind parents here, as I knew > mine to be, that might have been the case, but you fall SO far short of > that as to be laughable!! My hostility is not "built up" from childhood, > but from disgust at seeing YOU and people LIKE you abuse your children!! > instead of calling each other bad names (you gave that one away > easily–that is one of the #1 things an angry child does). > Again you’re jumping to a conclusion out of your desperation to > invalidate me, and merely so that you do not have to accept my criticism > of your parenting!! There are many other conditions whereby a normal > kind person raised by saints will cuss your fucking pants off!! Your > abuse of your children is responsible for that here, and none other!! > I think you need to > find yourself some professional help > You’d just love to turn THAT around, but in fact it’s YOU lot who need a > pshrink! I’ve known personally what several psychiatrists in my friendly > acquaintance say about abusive authoritarians like you! They told me > that you would lash out at any effort to criticize then and that you’d > always try to turn the blame around and that you would say literally > anything to get your way, like a typical little lying playground bully! > My friend Manfred even said that you would finally try to kill me if I > persisted and created a big public stinki about authority abuse of > kids!! Now I don’t doubt it. He said that your investment in your right > to get payback by abusing your OWN kids for your OWN abuse by YOUR > parents would overcome any good sense that you had. But Manfred was a > pessimist about human nature however, and he’s gone now. Many weekends > in his backyard taught me some of the subtleties I now use to get around > your defenses and keep you coming back for another treatment!! > and let us grown-ups carry on this > newsgroup without having to take care of dealing with someone’s leftover > baggage. > Well, if you "grownups" weren’t acting like little playground bullies to > your children I might not HAVE to! And what you think is "my baggage" > actually originates only from my disgust and dismay at your treatment of > your children! You’re used to your victims being far weaker than you, > but I’m not! > Take it from a wise parent and from the rest of us… you really need it. > You’d love to try to turn it around, but you’re not capable of creating > any doubt in me, I’ve been at this far too long, and I know exactly what > you’re going to do next!! > You’re quite predictable, but basically you will try to react with > horror, question my "right" to criticize you, try to talk down to anyone > like me who tells you you’re not behaving in an adult manner, then > you’ll counterattack and try to say literally anything to try to > invalidate your critic, you will question their parentage, their > upbringing, their character, impute their motives, and finally either > retire by claiming to have kill-filed me, which you never do, you are > FAR too worried about what I will say about you behind your back, and > then you will even digress into threats, bluster, obstructionism and ad > hominem even to the point of slander according to your personality and > neuroses!! > Steve

Response:

Hey.  I really like that one.  :) AJPDLA

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> If one person calls you a jackass, consider the source.  If 10 people do, > start looking for the saddle.

Response:

> >This never happened with my parents, they were accidentally harmless and >gentle with us, > Steve, I think I am finally starting to figure you out. You remind me of a > little girl up the street who is nothing but a spoiled brat because her parents > give her what she wants and never efficiently discipline her.

Oh THAT’S novel, no one has tried THAT one for at LEAST three weeks now!! The likes of you repressed heads-up your asses will fish around for something to say that’s deprecating about my upbringing, esepcially if I appear happier than you are!! Now if only your THEORY about what "spoiledness" IS OR COMES FROM was even correct (it’s NOT), why then you’d be smugly able to try desperately to invalidate me, wouldn’t ya? Kids who are vicious are that way because of what was done to them in their youth by their parents, but when an adult is fed up to the line with you shit-thinking assholes after long years of seeing your bull-crap you would just LOVE to prefer that a critic of the SHIT IN YOUR HEADS was merely "being mean to you" rather than telling you something that you really NEED to listen to and won’t even wake up to hear without a significant amount of insult, as I’ve learned from decades of seeing the likes of you TRY to dismiss all such good advice for fear of admitting any blame for your violence, viciousness and cruelty to your kids!! > She says horrible > things to her acquaintancs, treats them meanly, and because of that, she > doesn’t have real friends.

Hah! I don’t pick my friends from among the ranks of abusive parents, so when you imagine that I simply am not friendly, instead of the more obvious conclusion, that I would NEVER be YOUR friend, you are vainly imagining that you DESERVE my friendship, which you do NOT until you’ve turned over a new leaf and have become a friend to your children!! > You are nothing but a spoiled little boy who is still filled with so much anger > leftover from childhood.

What you think of as "spoiledness", out of the mouth of any vicious authoritarian like you, is a laudatory description of me!! Any slave as uppity as I am would be declared a "behavior problem" among the more beaten down among your other slaves! > Obviously, if you felt your parents did something > right in your growing up years, you wouldn’t have this built-up anger and > hostility towards other parents who are respecting each other and sharing > opinions

If I had met a group of genuinely harmless kind parents here, as I knew mine to be, that might have been the case, but you fall SO far short of that as to be laughable!! My hostility is not "built up" from childhood, but from disgust at seeing YOU and people LIKE you abuse your children!! > instead of calling each other bad names (you gave that one away > easily–that is one of the #1 things an angry child does).

Again you’re jumping to a conclusion out of your desperation to invalidate me, and merely so that you do not have to accept my criticism of your parenting!! There are many other conditions whereby a normal kind person raised by saints will cuss your fucking pants off!! Your abuse of your children is responsible for that here, and none other!! > I think you need to > find yourself some professional help

You’d just love to turn THAT around, but in fact it’s YOU lot who need a pshrink! I’ve known personally what several psychiatrists in my friendly acquaintance say about abusive authoritarians like you! They told me that you would lash out at any effort to criticize then and that you’d always try to turn the blame around and that you would say literally anything to get your way, like a typical little lying playground bully! My friend Manfred even said that you would finally try to kill me if I persisted and created a big public stinki about authority abuse of kids!! Now I don’t doubt it. He said that your investment in your right to get payback by abusing your OWN kids for your OWN abuse by YOUR parents would overcome any good sense that you had. But Manfred was a pessimist about human nature however, and he’s gone now. Many weekends in his backyard taught me some of the subtleties I now use to get around your defenses and keep you coming back for another treatment!! > and let us grown-ups carry on this > newsgroup without having to take care of dealing with someone’s leftover > baggage.

Well, if you "grownups" weren’t acting like little playground bullies to your children I might not HAVE to! And what you think is "my baggage" actually originates only from my disgust and dismay at your treatment of your children! You’re used to your victims being far weaker than you, but I’m not! > Take it from a wise parent and from the rest of us… you really need it.

You’d love to try to turn it around, but you’re not capable of creating any doubt in me, I’ve been at this far too long, and I know exactly what you’re going to do next!! You’re quite predictable, but basically you will try to react with horror, question my "right" to criticize you, try to talk down to anyone like me who tells you you’re not behaving in an adult manner, then you’ll counterattack and try to say literally anything to try to invalidate your critic, you will question their parentage, their upbringing, their character, impute their motives, and finally either retire by claiming to have kill-filed me, which you never do, you are FAR too worried about what I will say about you behind your back, and then you will even digress into threats, bluster, obstructionism and ad hominem even to the point of slander according to your personality and neuroses!! Steve

Response:

I think you about summed that one up Susan!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->This never happened with my parents, they were accidentally harmless and >gentle with us, > Steve, I think I am finally starting to figure you out. You remind me of a > little girl up the street who is nothing but a spoiled brat because her parents > give her what she wants and never efficiently discipline her. She says horrible > things to her acquaintancs, treats them meanly, and because of that, she > doesn’t have real friends. > You are nothing but a spoiled little boy who is still filled with so much anger > leftover from childhood. Obviously, if you felt your parents did something > right in your growing up years, you wouldn’t have this built-up anger and > hostility towards other parents who are respecting each other and sharing > opinions instead of calling each other bad names (you gave that one away > easily–that is one of the #1 things an angry child does). I think you need to > find yourself some professional help and let us grown-ups carry on this > newsgroup without having to take care of dealing with someone’s leftover > baggage. > Take it from a wise parent and from the rest of us… you really need it.

Response:

Exactly!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> If one person calls you a jackass, consider the source.  If 10 people do, > start looking for the saddle. says… >Steve, I think I am finally starting to figure you out. You remind me of a >little girl up the street who is nothing but a spoiled brat because her parents >give her what she wants and never efficiently discipline her. She says horrible >things to her acquaintancs, treats them meanly, and because of that, she >doesn’t have real friends. >You are nothing but a spoiled little boy who is still filled with so much anger >leftover from childhood. Obviously, if you felt your parents did something >right in your growing up years, you wouldn’t have this built-up anger and >hostility towards other parents who are respecting each other and sharing >opinions instead of calling each other bad names (you gave that one away >easily–that is one of the #1 things an angry child does). I think you need to >find yourself some professional help and let us grown-ups carry on this >newsgroup without having to take care of dealing with someone’s leftover >baggage. >Take it from a wise parent and from the rest of us… you really need it.

Response:

>This never happened with my parents, they were accidentally harmless and >gentle with us,

Steve, I think I am finally starting to figure you out. You remind me of a little girl up the street who is nothing but a spoiled brat because her parents give her what she wants and never efficiently discipline her. She says horrible things to her acquaintancs, treats them meanly, and because of that, she doesn’t have real friends. You are nothing but a spoiled little boy who is still filled with so much anger leftover from childhood. Obviously, if you felt your parents did something right in your growing up years, you wouldn’t have this built-up anger and hostility towards other parents who are respecting each other and sharing opinions instead of calling each other bad names (you gave that one away easily–that is one of the #1 things an angry child does). I think you need to find yourself some professional help and let us grown-ups carry on this newsgroup without having to take care of dealing with someone’s leftover baggage. Take it from a wise parent and from the rest of us… you really need it.

Response:

Gee Steve, you call everyone in here immature, but who’s acting like a child here.  Calling people names and such.  And personnaly, I could care less what you say about me in here.  It appears the majority of the people have you blocked anyway.  They all know you.  And for those that dont, they soon will learn. And by the way, children dont need their parents to be "friends".  They need them to be parents!  You obviously havent read enough about raising children, nor have watched enough programs about raising children.  All will tell you that kids need for their parents to parent them.  Not be their friend.  Yes, be a friend to an extent, so the child feels comfortable talking to you and such things as that.  But parent them. Your just not right Steve.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Steve,   Maybe in your world your child can talk back to you and tell you > they are not going to clean up their mess, or whatever it may be.  But not > in my world and not in most other peoples world. > Then you are living in the wrong world, and a VERY cruel and vicious > one, and I won’t leave! I’m going to keep shaming parents till they > remove the abuses from their ages old repertory that destroy a child’s > natural abilities to learn and develop. Parents ranted and raved when > the law no longer permitted them to farm them out as day labor, and when > it forbid them to beat or kill them, and this is simply another! Be a > backwards asshole and all you will feel is stupid. >  So shut up. > No, YOU shut the fuck up, you abusive little whore!! >  Sick of > hearing your stupid comments and acting like everyone in here is a > bad parent, and your god. > What I am is irrelevant. The only reason you would need to notice who is > saying these things to you is because I’m getting to your sense of > guilt, and what is the first thing that happens when brainwashed people > experience a revival of their guilt for the crap they do! They try to > find a way to make the messenger shut up instead of correcting their > criminal abuses!! >  Just go away.  Better yet, I think I will just throw > you into my killfile as has been suggested by alot of others. > Just try it, all you’ll be doing is blinding yourself and you won’t know > what I’m saying about you that everyone else sees me saying about you! > Steve > > >I think to prepare them for this > > > age, even though your daughter is head strong, you must be willing to > teach her > > > negotiation and follow through on discipline (i.e. no talking back to > mom or > > > dad or she’ll have a consequence [whatever you use ) > > [] > > > Susan > > Why the fuck are all you insecure morons so worried about what a child > > says to you!! Back-talk is NOT something to react to! You shouldn’t even > > BE forcing your child to do something so AS TO INCUR them wishing to > > talk back at you! Why are you so immature and insecure in yourselves!!?? > > You act like fucking children raising children! > > Steve

Response:

> Steve,   Maybe in your world your child can talk back to you and tell you > they are not going to clean up their mess, or whatever it may be.  But not > in my world and not in most other peoples world.

Then you are living in the wrong world, and a VERY cruel and vicious one, and I won’t leave! I’m going to keep shaming parents till they remove the abuses from their ages old repertory that destroy a child’s natural abilities to learn and develop. Parents ranted and raved when the law no longer permitted them to farm them out as day labor, and when it forbid them to beat or kill them, and this is simply another! Be a backwards asshole and all you will feel is stupid. >  So shut up.

No, YOU shut the fuck up, you abusive little whore!! >  Sick of > hearing your stupid comments and acting like everyone in here is a > bad parent, and your god.

What I am is irrelevant. The only reason you would need to notice who is saying these things to you is because I’m getting to your sense of guilt, and what is the first thing that happens when brainwashed people experience a revival of their guilt for the crap they do! They try to find a way to make the messenger shut up instead of correcting their criminal abuses!! >  Just go away.  Better yet, I think I will just throw > you into my killfile as has been suggested by alot of others.

Just try it, all you’ll be doing is blinding yourself and you won’t know what I’m saying about you that everyone else sees me saying about you! Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >I think to prepare them for this > > age, even though your daughter is head strong, you must be willing to > teach her > > negotiation and follow through on discipline (i.e. no talking back to > mom or > > dad or she’ll have a consequence [whatever you use ) > [] > > Susan > Why the fuck are all you insecure morons so worried about what a child > says to you!! Back-talk is NOT something to react to! You shouldn’t even > BE forcing your child to do something so AS TO INCUR them wishing to > talk back at you! Why are you so immature and insecure in yourselves!!?? > You act like fucking children raising children! > Steve

Response:

> Gee Steve, you call everyone in here immature, but who’s acting like a child > here.  Calling people names and such.  And personnaly, I could care less > what you say about me in here.  It appears the majority of the people have > you blocked anyway.  They all know you.  And for those that dont, they soon > will learn.

I’ve been here a fair while, how long have YOU been here? I’ve heard this dozens of times before. It never happens and never convinces. > And by the way, children dont need their parents to be "friends".  They need > them to be parents!

You’re reciting garbage formulas from abusive-authority articles on "child beating". If you are not your child’s friend then when they are grown what will you be to them? And furthermore what the hell are you RAISING them to be? If you’re not RAISING them to be obedient slaves then don’t TREAT them that way!!! My experience is that candidly most people can’t STAND their parents, they move as far away from them as they can get! That isn’t normal, wasn’t normal for 100,000 years!! Parents keep forgetting that they will know their child as an adult three times longer than they did as a child. They had damned well better learn to get along or they deserve the kinds of nursing homes I’ve seen where 3 in 4 are NEVER visited!! >  You obviously havent read enough about raising > children, nor have watched enough programs about raising children.

In that respect you would be quite in error, I devour psychological, sociological and anthropological information, and I have raised two of my own, one of each. And let me tell you about the children I knew growing up who were merely victims of these mock-loving authoritarian crap-headed parents, they never heard from their kids again, or if they did the kid hated them behind their back and dishonored them all their lives even while continuing to take their crap in a mentally ill co-dependent fashion, as I see most daughters take their mother’s crap and then hate even being them around them they have to get drunk to DO it! This never happened with my parents, they were accidentally harmless and gentle with us, they were ashamed of the things THEIR parents had done sufficiently that they didn’t KNOW what to do, and that allowed them to feel their feelings and not merely accept previous methods of abuse. This lack of abuse made me quite shocked when I got out among my friends in our neighborhood and the community at large and saw how these kids were treated by their parents! It was like Gautama Siddartha Buddha discovering suffering for the first time as a young man!! It was unbelievable! >  All will > tell you that kids need for their parents to parent them.  Not be their > friend.

That’s because YOU only read the current dogmatic functionalist American propaganda. The philosophy of beating, compelling, or brow-beating and dishonoring children until they fit a mold as cogs in a machine culture is that of authoritarian "functionalism", and America is destroying itself with it, it is the why behind violence and disorder. It is the why behind violence in the society, and behind oppressive antisexuality, and it is the core of fundamentalist bigotry and insanity, about which Europeans shake their heads about us and make fun of us because they can barely believe we’re than backward!! Prehistoric human tribes would NEVER have held together with this kind of hatred between generations, they would have killed their old for their cruelty and lost the knowledge of how to find food and died out!! We evolved quite differently than authoritarianism is forcing people to live, and they are cracking from the unnatural strain these days!! >  Yes, be a friend to an extent, so the child feels comfortable > talking to you and such things as that.  But parent them. > Your just not right Steve.

You don’t even know what right IS, little Lisa. You’re merely prating and reciting learned formulas for successfully harming your kids in the manner familiar to you, because you were harmed in that very same and familiar manner!! Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > Steve,   Maybe in your world your child can talk back to you and tell > you > > they are not going to clean up their mess, or whatever it may be.  But > not > > in my world and not in most other peoples world. > Then you are living in the wrong world, and a VERY cruel and vicious > one, and I won’t leave! I’m going to keep shaming parents till they > remove the abuses from their ages old repertory that destroy a child’s > natural abilities to learn and develop. Parents ranted and raved when > the law no longer permitted them to farm them out as day labor, and when > it forbid them to beat or kill them, and this is simply another! Be a > backwards asshole and all you will feel is stupid. > >  So shut up. > No, YOU shut the fuck up, you abusive little whore!! > >  Sick of > > hearing your stupid comments and acting like everyone in here is a > > bad parent, and your god. > What I am is irrelevant. The only reason you would need to notice who is > saying these things to you is because I’m getting to your sense of > guilt, and what is the first thing that happens when brainwashed people > experience a revival of their guilt for the crap they do! They try to > find a way to make the messenger shut up instead of correcting their > criminal abuses!! > >  Just go away.  Better yet, I think I will just throw > > you into my killfile as has been suggested by alot of others. > Just try it, all you’ll be doing is blinding yourself and you won’t know > what I’m saying about you that everyone else sees me saying about you! > Steve > > > >I think to prepare them for this > > > > age, even though your daughter is head strong, you must be willing > to > > teach her > > > > negotiation and follow through on discipline (i.e. no talking back > to > > mom or > > > > dad or she’ll have a consequence [whatever you use ) > > > [] > > > > Susan > > > Why the fuck are all you insecure morons so worried about what a child > > > says to you!! Back-talk is NOT something to react to! You shouldn’t > even > > > BE forcing your child to do something so AS TO INCUR them wishing to > > > talk back at you! Why are you so immature and insecure in > yourselves!!?? > > > You act like fucking children raising children! > > > Steve

Response:

> I was reading this thread, and maybe it’s a girl thing? My boys were crazy > at 3, and settled down before 4, and their complaints didn’t seem to last > long . My two nieces OTOH (one is 4 and one is 5) are very hard to get along > with! Nothing pleases them! It seems to come out when they are with other > children, they always have to be "top dog." When you have them alone, > they’re angels, but introduce a sibling or a  cousin, and they go straight > to devil-child mode. > Becky

My daughter did this and is finally (after a year) seemed to be getting better.   I believe that it is more restlessness-or bored-rather than just being "devilish".  After having kids and noticing other children, they all seem to be very restless or tend to be  defiant (or be less cooperative)when they are in a growth spurt. We put our daughter into Kindergarten, and she now seems contented.

Response:

>I think to prepare them for this > age, even though your daughter is head strong, you must be willing to teach her > negotiation and follow through on discipline (i.e. no talking back to mom or > dad or she’ll have a consequence [whatever you use ) [] > Susan

Why the fuck are all you insecure morons so worried about what a child says to you!! Back-talk is NOT something to react to! You shouldn’t even BE forcing your child to do something so AS TO INCUR them wishing to talk back at you! Why are you so immature and insecure in yourselves!!?? You act like fucking children raising children! Steve

Response:

>     Unfortunately, I’m the yelling parent.  Our 4 y.o. is very defiant.  

If you didn’t mistreat her she wouldn’t HAVE to be defiant!! There is absolutely NO cause to force a child to do something or try to bully them into seeing anything your way or make them jump to obey you or any such humiliating moronic immature CRAP of yours! ALL of that is DESTRUCTIVE!! >This is > very tough to take when I come home tired from work.

Then fucking GROW UP! Don’t be a parent who misbehaves! > But she’s also tired. > I’ve figured out that arguing when we’re both tired is useless.  I just do what > I have to do and get her to bed, even if it means I carry her around.  Only > problem is, she’s getting heavier and I’m getting older and weaker.  We’ll see > what gives out first, her will or my back. > Steve

Why not try to be nice to her and be her friend, treat her as a person, and she will act like a charmer and help you so genuinely that she’ll bring you to tears!! Steve

Response:

Steve,   Maybe in your world your child can talk back to you and tell you they are not going to clean up their mess, or whatever it may be.  But not in my world and not in most other peoples world.  So shut up.  Sick of hearing your stupid comments and acting like everyone in here is a bad parent, and your god.  Just go away.  Better yet, I think I will just throw you into my killfile as has been suggested by alot of others.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I think to prepare them for this > age, even though your daughter is head strong, you must be willing to teach her > negotiation and follow through on discipline (i.e. no talking back to mom or > dad or she’ll have a consequence [whatever you use ) > [] > Susan > Why the fuck are all you insecure morons so worried about what a child > says to you!! Back-talk is NOT something to react to! You shouldn’t even > BE forcing your child to do something so AS TO INCUR them wishing to > talk back at you! Why are you so immature and insecure in yourselves!!?? > You act like fucking children raising children! > Steve

Response:

Your back.  LOL.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->     Unfortunately, I’m the yelling parent.  Our 4 y.o. is very defiant. This is > very tough to take when I come home tired from work.  But she’s also tired. > I’ve figured out that arguing when we’re both tired is useless.  I just do what > I have to do and get her to bed, even if it means I carry her around. Only > problem is, she’s getting heavier and I’m getting older and weaker.  We’ll see > what gives out first, her will or my back. > Steve > Alrighty.  Just want to know if this is going on with every 4 year old. But > my 4 year old daughter, whom I call SweetPea hasnt been very sweet lately. > Just plain BOLD.  Talking back, never listening, doing things to her baby > sister to make her cry (like taking things away), being rude towards her > grandparents and us for that matter. Crying everytime she doesnt get her > way.  Just every thing.  She used to have her moments like any child, but > lately it seems endless.  From the moment she gets up till she is in bed.  I > only work part time because the hubby and I didnt think it was worth it to > use daycare.  It just wasnt for us.  So the grandparents babysit 3 days a > week for us.  I dont know whats up with her.  Is this a 4-year old thing or > is there more to it than that?

Response:

I was reading this thread, and maybe it’s a girl thing? My boys were crazy at 3, and settled down before 4, and their complaints didn’t seem to last long . My two nieces OTOH (one is 4 and one is 5) are very hard to get along with! Nothing pleases them! It seems to come out when they are with other children, they always have to be "top dog." When you have them alone, they’re angels, but introduce a sibling or a  cousin, and they go straight to devil-child mode. Becky

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Boy do I hear you.  My DD also has a younger sister, and every once and awhile, > she’s just plain mean to her.  Most of the time she wants to hug her, play with > her and make her laugh, and then, out of the blue BAM. > I’ve found two things that seem to help.  I try to ensure she gets time to play > with other children her age, and I make time for her and I to do special things > together.  I’m sure once this gets better it will be something else. > Rose > Alrighty.  Just want to know if this is going on with every 4 year old. But > my 4 year old daughter, whom I call SweetPea hasnt been very sweet lately. > Just plain BOLD.  Talking back, never listening, doing things to her baby > sister to make her cry (like taking things away), being rude towards her > grandparents and us for that matter. Crying everytime she doesnt get her > way.  Just every thing.  She used to have her moments like any child, but > lately it seems endless.  From the moment she gets up till she is in bed.  I > only work part time because the hubby and I didnt think it was worth it to > use daycare.  It just wasnt for us.  So the grandparents babysit 3 days a > week for us.  I dont know whats up with her.  Is this a 4-year old thing or > is there more to it than that?

Response:

Boy do I hear you.  My DD also has a younger sister, and every once and awhile, she’s just plain mean to her.  Most of the time she wants to hug her, play with her and make her laugh, and then, out of the blue BAM. I’ve found two things that seem to help.  I try to ensure she gets time to play with other children her age, and I make time for her and I to do special things together.  I’m sure once this gets better it will be something else. Rose – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Alrighty.  Just want to know if this is going on with every 4 year old.  But > my 4 year old daughter, whom I call SweetPea hasnt been very sweet lately. > Just plain BOLD.  Talking back, never listening, doing things to her baby > sister to make her cry (like taking things away), being rude towards her > grandparents and us for that matter. Crying everytime she doesnt get her > way.  Just every thing.  She used to have her moments like any child, but > lately it seems endless.  From the moment she gets up till she is in bed.  I > only work part time because the hubby and I didnt think it was worth it to > use daycare.  It just wasnt for us.  So the grandparents babysit 3 days a > week for us.  I dont know whats up with her.  Is this a 4-year old thing or > is there more to it than that?

Response:

    Unfortunately, I’m the yelling parent.  Our 4 y.o. is very defiant.  This is very tough to take when I come home tired from work.  But she’s also tired. I’ve figured out that arguing when we’re both tired is useless.  I just do what I have to do and get her to bed, even if it means I carry her around.  Only problem is, she’s getting heavier and I’m getting older and weaker.  We’ll see what gives out first, her will or my back. Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Alrighty.  Just want to know if this is going on with every 4 year old.  But > my 4 year old daughter, whom I call SweetPea hasnt been very sweet lately. > Just plain BOLD.  Talking back, never listening, doing things to her baby > sister to make her cry (like taking things away), being rude towards her > grandparents and us for that matter. Crying everytime she doesnt get her > way.  Just every thing.  She used to have her moments like any child, but > lately it seems endless.  From the moment she gets up till she is in bed.  I > only work part time because the hubby and I didnt think it was worth it to > use daycare.  It just wasnt for us.  So the grandparents babysit 3 days a > week for us.  I dont know whats up with her.  Is this a 4-year old thing or > is there more to it than that?

Response:

Thanks for the confidence!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Is this ever a four-year old thing. That is one age I couldn’t wait to be > through with. The good news is that once they turn five, they become real > angels, and try so hard to please parents (at least mine did, but I have heard > the same about alot of other five year olds). I think to prepare them for this > age, even though your daughter is head strong, you must be willing to teach her > negotiation and follow through on discipline (i.e. no talking back to mom or > dad or she’ll have a consequence [whatever you use )Listen to her complaints > and needs and when they are not appropriate, explain to her why and offer her a > couple of solutions that she can choose. I did this with mine and it made her > much more tolerable and pleasant to be around. Then when five came around, she > had grown into such a pleasant girl. Today at six, she negotiates pretty well > and gets along with people. > Good luck, it won’t last more than a year. > Susan

Response:

"Fair"?  Nothing to a four year old is fair!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Alrighty.  Just want to know if this is going on with every 4 year old. But > my 4 year old daughter, whom I call SweetPea hasnt been very sweet lately. > Just plain BOLD.  Talking back, never listening, doing things to her baby > sister to make her cry (like taking things away), being rude towards her > grandparents and us for that matter. Crying everytime she doesnt get her > way.  Just every thing.  She used to have her moments like any child, but > lately it seems endless.  From the moment she gets up till she is in bed.  I > only work part time because the hubby and I didnt think it was worth it to > use daycare.  It just wasnt for us.  So the grandparents babysit 3 days a > week for us.  I dont know whats up with her.  Is this a 4-year old thing or > is there more to it than that? > The word for four is fair. If you are fair to them they will be fair to > you. If you behave highhandedly they will make your life hell, and > you’ll pay for it even more later when they are older! > Steve

Response:

> "Fair"?  Nothing to a four year old is fair!

If you behave fairly they will. Take their word for it. Ask THEM what fair is. Your victim is your truest judge!! Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The word for four is fair. If you are fair to them they will be fair to > you. If you behave highhandedly they will make your life hell, and > you’ll pay for it even more later when they are older! > Steve

Response:

Is this ever a four-year old thing. That is one age I couldn’t wait to be through with. The good news is that once they turn five, they become real angels, and try so hard to please parents (at least mine did, but I have heard the same about alot of other five year olds). I think to prepare them for this age, even though your daughter is head strong, you must be willing to teach her negotiation and follow through on discipline (i.e. no talking back to mom or dad or she’ll have a consequence [whatever you use )Listen to her complaints and needs and when they are not appropriate, explain to her why and offer her a couple of solutions that she can choose. I did this with mine and it made her much more tolerable and pleasant to be around. Then when five came around, she had grown into such a pleasant girl. Today at six, she negotiates pretty well and gets along with people. Good luck, it won’t last more than a year. Susan

Response:

Good to hear its not just mine.  Hopefully, I will be able to say mine made it to 5 too!  :)

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Alrighty.  Just want to know if this is going on with every 4 year old. > But > my 4 year old daughter, whom I call SweetPea hasnt been very sweet lately. > Just plain BOLD.  Talking back, never listening, doing things to her baby > sister to make her cry (like taking things away), being rude towards her > grandparents and us for that matter. Crying everytime she doesnt get her > way.  Just every thing.  She used to have her moments like any child, but > lately it seems endless.  From the moment she gets up till she is in bed. > I > only work part time because the hubby and I didnt think it was worth it to > use daycare.  It just wasnt for us.  So the grandparents babysit 3 days a > week for us.  I dont know whats up with her.  Is this a 4-year old thing > or > is there more to it than that? > That is so very four year old!  I think four years old was like 14 but > shorter!  Really!  They have reached a new developmental stage/capability > and are trying to stretch their wings further and trying to see what they > can do now that they were not able/allowed to do before.  Keep with your > consistent firm limit setting and explain things as needed.  Quiet time to > talk things through and just to have time to chat about whatever is very > helpful and helps set the stage for this to continue hopefully forever. Tag > team with hubby as needed! > -Aula, with a child who made it to five…..

Response:

> Alrighty.  Just want to know if this is going on with every 4 year old.  But > my 4 year old daughter, whom I call SweetPea hasnt been very sweet lately. > Just plain BOLD.  Talking back, never listening, doing things to her baby > sister to make her cry (like taking things away), being rude towards her > grandparents and us for that matter. Crying everytime she doesnt get her > way.  Just every thing.  She used to have her moments like any child, but > lately it seems endless.  From the moment she gets up till she is in bed.  I > only work part time because the hubby and I didnt think it was worth it to > use daycare.  It just wasnt for us.  So the grandparents babysit 3 days a > week for us.  I dont know whats up with her.  Is this a 4-year old thing or > is there more to it than that?

The word for four is fair. If you are fair to them they will be fair to you. If you behave highhandedly they will make your life hell, and you’ll pay for it even more later when they are older! Steve

Response:

Alrighty.  Just want to know if this is going on with every 4 year old.  But my 4 year old daughter, whom I call SweetPea hasnt been very sweet lately. Just plain BOLD.  Talking back, never listening, doing things to her baby sister to make her cry (like taking things away), being rude towards her grandparents and us for that matter. Crying everytime she doesnt get her way.  Just every thing.  She used to have her moments like any child, but lately it seems endless.  From the moment she gets up till she is in bed.  I only work part time because the hubby and I didnt think it was worth it to use daycare.  It just wasnt for us.  So the grandparents babysit 3 days a week for us.  I dont know whats up with her.  Is this a 4-year old thing or is there more to it than that?

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Alrighty.  Just want to know if this is going on with every 4 year old. But > my 4 year old daughter, whom I call SweetPea hasnt been very sweet lately. > Just plain BOLD.  Talking back, never listening, doing things to her baby > sister to make her cry (like taking things away), being rude towards her > grandparents and us for that matter. Crying everytime she doesnt get her > way.  Just every thing.  She used to have her moments like any child, but > lately it seems endless.  From the moment she gets up till she is in bed. I > only work part time because the hubby and I didnt think it was worth it to > use daycare.  It just wasnt for us.  So the grandparents babysit 3 days a > week for us.  I dont know whats up with her.  Is this a 4-year old thing or > is there more to it than that?

That is so very four year old!  I think four years old was like 14 but shorter!  Really!  They have reached a new developmental stage/capability and are trying to stretch their wings further and trying to see what they can do now that they were not able/allowed to do before.  Keep with your consistent firm limit setting and explain things as needed.  Quiet time to talk things through and just to have time to chat about whatever is very helpful and helps set the stage for this to continue hopefully forever.  Tag team with hubby as needed! -Aula, with a child who made it to five…..

Response: