Question:
> possible problems – too much work for > Anne, what if somebody’s sick, what about overtime
I wonder how any of us gets by at all. At day care, the workers get paid breaks and lunch away from the kids. Will the new workload require Anne to go without a break. Would you find it OK if she dumped the kids someplace safe (playpen) and ignored them for a while? Levity is the dearth of gravity. Brevity is the height of clarity.
Response:
The kids’ needs are going to be VASTLY different, physical and emotional. What happens when the other child needs more than your child and your child is "pushed to the side" for the lack of a better phrase. Socialization will, in all probability, not work out as their ages are too different and maturity will be at different levels. Just a thought. Sharon
Response:
>I have a wonderful full-time live-out nanny –Anne — who helps take care of my >10-month old son; she has been a wonderful, if expensive, addition to our lives. >I have been recently approached by a new mother about seeing if perhaps Anne >could >also take care of her child when he’s two or three months old (when my son will >be >12 or 13 months old.) She is willing to bring her little one to my house, share >Anne’s (increased) salary, etc. Anne is tentatively interested
My advice is, if you can afford a sole-charge nanny, keep her that way. Sharing is _very_ difficult, and it won’t benefit your son to have a tiny baby around all day. They can’t really play wiht other children till 2+ generally. — Jane Lumley
Response:
>I am thinking seriously about this because I’m interested in having my son around >other kids (although of course the social interaction will be greater in the future) >and of course it will save money, but I am concerned about possible problems (too >much work for Anne, what if somebody’s sick, what about overtime).
We did a "nanny sharing" arrangement in our home from about 1.5-2.5 years of age, with my own son and another little boy. We looking to do it only part-time, but when I found someone with a boy so close in age to mine (3 mos difference) and who was scheduled to start at the same preschool eventually, I jumped at it. They are still best buddies to this day (now 4 years old). But there were definitely disadvantages. At that age, social interaction is not so important, and it was like having twins (and all the rivalries therein). If they are going to have social interaction, I think the best thing is to have it with a child of a different age. The nanny spent a *lot* of time working out sharing arrangements! The upside is that to this day they play practically without any conflict. The preschool teachers are always amazed at their loyalty and kindness to each other. The other down side was that it definitely made life much more hectic since it was at our house. We had a lot more transitions – the other boy showing up, both of us leaving, then the other one leaving at the end of the day (usually kicking and screaming). If the nanny didn’t show up (it happens even with the best), I felt responsible, since she was my employee. But all in all, it worked out well, primarily because the other parents were very flexible and helpful (her mother lives right down the street from me, for example, so in a pinch there was usually a backup for them), and we had very similar opinions on things (and none of them were very strong except for basic safety and respect issues). Do a lot of talking and thinking about this. I wouldn’t do it just for the interaction. For us, it was the only way we could afford a nanny, and for that reason, I was very happy and willing to put up with the problems. The friendship that resulted isn’t something we could have promised – it might just as well have turned out another way. Marilyn Walker http://www.cherryvalleybooks.com/ CHERRY VALLEY BOOKS – Kids and Parenting on the Internet Easy searching and browsing with integrated ordering, free freight options, and credits toward free books. $5 off all orders through 8 November. Please check us out!
Response:
I used to teach at a training school for nannies. The biggest complaints I heard from the nannies were about trying to resolve different parenting sytles, instructions, and work hours of two different couples. If you and the other mother are very compatible in the way you want both daily life and emergencies handled, then there is a chance things will work. Maybe you should take some time to talk over your expectations of the nanny. I don’t see why two children should be too much work. After all, many parents are at home daily with two or more children (or twins or triplets) and they seem to manage. My gut feeling is that if you are happy with your nanny and can afford her, you should keep the arrangement as it is. There are plenty of opportunities for your child to interact with others – parks. YMCA mother or nanny and child classes. Gym,boree style programs. good, happy nannies are hard to find, so I question whether you should rock the boat. Tish – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I have a wonderful full-time live-out nanny –Anne — who helps take care of my >10-month old son; she has been a wonderful, if expensive, addition to our lives. >I have been recently approached by a new mother about seeing if perhaps Anne could >also take care of her child when he’s two or three months old (when my son will be >12 or 13 months old.) She is willing to bring her little one to my house, share >Anne’s (increased) salary, etc. Anne is tentatively interested >I am thinking seriously about this because I’m interested in having my son around >other kids (although of course the social interaction will be greater in the future) >and of course it will save money, but I am concerned about possible problems (too >much work for Anne, what if somebody’s sick, what about overtime). >I’m wondering if any of you who have good or bad outcomes with this could let me >know your pros and cons. I’d appreciate hearing from you very much, and would also >appreciate it if you could email me at
Response:
I have a wonderful full-time live-out nanny –Anne — who helps take care of my 10-month old son; she has been a wonderful, if expensive, addition to our lives. I have been recently approached by a new mother about seeing if perhaps Anne could also take care of her child when he’s two or three months old (when my son will be 12 or 13 months old.) She is willing to bring her little one to my house, share Anne’s (increased) salary, etc. Anne is tentatively interested I am thinking seriously about this because I’m interested in having my son around other kids (although of course the social interaction will be greater in the future) and of course it will save money, but I am concerned about possible problems (too much work for Anne, what if somebody’s sick, what about overtime). I’m wondering if any of you who have good or bad outcomes with this could let me know your pros and cons. I’d appreciate hearing from you very much, and would also appreciate it if you could email me at
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