Question:
Kate: If you will notice in the credits, I DID NOT WRITE THE ARTICLE. That doesn’t mean that I agree or disagree with it. It only means that I posted it. If you are a therapist as you state, you should know that it’s important to be sure you are attacking the correct person or there will never be resolution for the situation. Lois
Response:
> I would like to make one correction. The gay population > is actually 1-3% not 10 %. This has been studied and > reported many times over.
What if you include bisexuals? > I am also curios about surveys that show the majority > of gay folks report "early chilhood sexual experiences" > What does that mean? As a therapist in California, I > have yet to work with any one of the homosexual > community, male or female, who did not report themselves > as having early childhood sexual experiences. In other > words they had been molested. For some reason no one seems > to make this connection. And please do not quote the research > that indicates they are born this way. Even the person doing the > research, has come out publically to say we can not draw this > conclusion from his study.
How many of your heterosexual patients did not report themselves as having early sexual experiences? Almost all women (gay _or_ straight) I’ve been comfortable enough to discuss my own childhood experiences with have had similar ones. I’ve heard the connection you’ve mentioned above speculated on before, but no back up for it at all. Have there been any studies comparing gay and straight? <snip> > I probably will get a lot of flak from this but I report it like I see > and experience it. Those of the gay community that I have helped > are very greatful. > Don
I’m not giving you flak, I’m just not at all convinced by your reasoning. — Lise Mendel Mommy to Abigail (5/9/93) and Dorothy (10/19/95) http://www.access.digex.net/~catalyst/
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I would like to make one correction. The gay population > is actually 1-3% not 10 %. This has been studied and > reported many times over. > I am also curios about surveys that show the majority > of gay folks report "early chilhood sexual experiences" > What does that mean? As a therapist in California, I > have yet to work with any one of the homosexual > community, male or female, who did not report themselves > as having early childhood sexual experiences. In other > words they had been molested. For some reason no one seems > to make this connection. And please do not quote the research > that indicates they are born this way. Even the person doing the > research, has come out publically to say we can not draw this > conclusion from his study. > Remember we are not talking about anything other than sexual > habits or practices. This does not make them terrible people, > any more than we should throw rocks at prostitutes, who by the > way indicate 93% were sexually abused, most often by a family > member. > I probably will get a lot of flak from this but I report it like I see > and experience it. Those of the gay community that I have helped > are very greatful. > Don
I believe that your biases are so apparent, as you clearly own right up to them, that you should not be counseling anyone in the gay community. How can you help a gay person with that attitude? Or help them do what? Go straight. Feel good about themselves by comparing them to prostitutes. Telling them that sexuality is just a behavior habit or practice. No sir….It is a way of life for many health, normal, well adjusted people. This is increadible…You make generalizations about sexual assault/moslestation=homosexuality based on the limited scope of your own therapist/client experience. It occurs to me that maybe they didn’t need help with the sexuality issues, but went to you for the abuse issues and they happen to have been gay. How nice of you to compare homosexuals to prostitutes. I’m sure you clients would be please too. 1 – 3%…give us a break. Where do you get your figures. The Christian Coalition or the Americans for Family Values Association. The figures I have seen used are 5 – 6% percent. Lois’ post was information only….direction for where parents can go to try and understand and cope with children who tell them or talk to them about their sexuality. PFLAG is and incredible organization, and a great resource. So while you are our there trying to find someone to blame, for the worlds homosexual population, and want to quible over "this is how I see it, you are obviously wrong", Lois is trying to point people in a helpful direction. Kate
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->This is a multi-part message in MIME format. >Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii >Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit >Content-Disposition: inline; filename="GAY.TXT" >PARENTING A GAY TEEN >From LIVING WITH TEENS, by Blossom M. Turk, Ed.D., >Legendary Publishing Company, 1990. >QUESTION: We are the parents of a gay son. When our son >first told us about his homosexuality five years ago, we >thought our world had come to an end. Then, through my >sister, who lives in Los Angeles, we found out about a >group called Parents Flag. The Federation of Parents and >Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Inc., is a non-profit tax- >exempt, all-volunteer organization of parent groups. >They are not affiliated with any religious, political, >economic or ethnic group. Their primary objective is to >help parents and their gay children to live and understand >one another. The information made available by Parents >Flag to the families and friends of gay people is based on >current research and writings about homosexuality. For >example, how many know that approximately 10 percent of the >world population is homosexual? Gay men and women come >from families of every culture, ethnic group, religion and >socio-economic level. >Contrary to what so many people think, gay people come from >model two-parent families, single-parent homes. homes with >strong and weak fathers, homes with submissive and domi- >neering mothers. What I am saying is, there is no stereo- >type, no special pattern. >Contrary to what so many people believe, the medical and >psychological research about homosexuality indicates that >being gay is not something one chooses to be or not to be. >Gay men and women will tell you that they were never forced >or taught to be gay, but rather that they felt different >even when they were very young. >As the parents of a gay son, we are concerned about the >ignorance and superstition that surrounds the whole >question of homosexuality. >Gay persons lead lives as varied, as loving and as respon- >sible as heterosexuals. Our children establish long- >lasting relationships; they are clerks, artists, doctors, >lawyers, teachers and athletes; they shop, watch televi- >sion, vote and pay taxes. >It is true that some gay people fit the special stereo- >types, but most look and act just like persons from the >heterosexual community., Physical appearance and manner- >isms have nothing to do with a person’s sexuality. >Parents need to know that there is an organized group out >there that can help them to understand and accept their gay >children. >RESPONSE: The Parents Flag headquarters in Los Angeles has >booklets, books and audio cassettes available that focus on >research and other information about homosexuality. In >addition, they furnish speakers for organizations and will >provide parents of gay children the name of the nearest >parent group or contact in their areas. >Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii >Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit >Content-Disposition: inline; filename="MOMSIG" >Lois E Paul, Executive Director Voice (209) 478-5585 >Help The Children FAX (209) 478-5586 >41 West Yokuts Avenue, Suite 107 TDD/TTY (209) 478-5685 > HTTP://www.adopting.org/htc.html >Mother to Helene (27), Erica (26), Thiago (16), Andy (10) >and grandmother to Joshua (5), Jessica (5), and ? (due in Dec 96) > – All Children Are Gifted…. > They Just Open Their Presents At Different Times-
I would like to make one correction. The gay population is actually 1-3% not 10 %. This has been studied and reported many times over. I am also curios about surveys that show the majority of gay folks report "early chilhood sexual experiences" What does that mean? As a therapist in California, I have yet to work with any one of the homosexual community, male or female, who did not report themselves as having early childhood sexual experiences. In other words they had been molested. For some reason no one seems to make this connection. And please do not quote the research that indicates they are born this way. Even the person doing the research, has come out publically to say we can not draw this conclusion from his study. Remember we are not talking about anything other than sexual habits or practices. This does not make them terrible people, any more than we should throw rocks at prostitutes, who by the way indicate 93% were sexually abused, most often by a family member. I probably will get a lot of flak from this but I report it like I see and experience it. Those of the gay community that I have helped are very greatful. Don
Response:
PARENTING A GAY TEEN From LIVING WITH TEENS, by Blossom M. Turk, Ed.D., Legendary Publishing Company, 1990. QUESTION: We are the parents of a gay son. When our son first told us about his homosexuality five years ago, we thought our world had come to an end. Then, through my sister, who lives in Los Angeles, we found out about a group called Parents Flag. The Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Inc., is a non-profit tax- exempt, all-volunteer organization of parent groups. They are not affiliated with any religious, political, economic or ethnic group. Their primary objective is to help parents and their gay children to live and understand one another. The information made available by Parents Flag to the families and friends of gay people is based on current research and writings about homosexuality. For example, how many know that approximately 10 percent of the world population is homosexual? Gay men and women come from families of every culture, ethnic group, religion and socio-economic level. Contrary to what so many people think, gay people come from model two-parent families, single-parent homes. homes with strong and weak fathers, homes with submissive and domi- neering mothers. What I am saying is, there is no stereo- type, no special pattern. Contrary to what so many people believe, the medical and psychological research about homosexuality indicates that being gay is not something one chooses to be or not to be. Gay men and women will tell you that they were never forced or taught to be gay, but rather that they felt different even when they were very young. As the parents of a gay son, we are concerned about the ignorance and superstition that surrounds the whole question of homosexuality. Gay persons lead lives as varied, as loving and as respon- sible as heterosexuals. Our children establish long- lasting relationships; they are clerks, artists, doctors, lawyers, teachers and athletes; they shop, watch televi- sion, vote and pay taxes. It is true that some gay people fit the special stereo- types, but most look and act just like persons from the heterosexual community., Physical appearance and manner- isms have nothing to do with a person’s sexuality. Parents need to know that there is an organized group out there that can help them to understand and accept their gay children. RESPONSE: The Parents Flag headquarters in Los Angeles has booklets, books and audio cassettes available that focus on research and other information about homosexuality. In addition, they furnish speakers for organizations and will provide parents of gay children the name of the nearest parent group or contact in their areas.
[ MOMSIG < 1K ]
Lois E Paul, Executive Director Voice (209) 478-5585 Help The Children FAX (209) 478-5586 41 West Yokuts Avenue, Suite 107 TDD/TTY (209) 478-5685 HTTP://www.adopting.org/htc.html Mother to Helene (27), Erica (26), Thiago (16), Andy (10) and grandmother to Joshua (5), Jessica (5), and ? (due in Dec 96) - All Children Are Gifted…. They Just Open Their Presents At Different Times-
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