Pure Parents

Question:

These are clips from a column wrote by Lori Borgman (Indianapolis Star and News).  I keep the column on my refridgerator (along with a couple of choice columns by John Rosemond, and of course reams of "kid art" and school papers and schedules.  It discusses parenting "the old fashion way", before we started analyzing everything to death. …parents were ruthless…never let me think that going the full distance was optional.  They were from the Great Depression and the WWII generation who believed you worked whether or not you felt like it.  Work in any shape or form was never optional. …never gave us many options.  Oh, it isn’t like we never had the freedom to choose.  We always got to choose after a storm whether we wanted to help pick up the weeping willow branches from the yard.  Or if we wanted to mouth off and pick the branches up by ourselves. …they required that our beds be made and our rooms tidy before leaving for school.  They never nagged about it, they just expected it.  They didn’t buy the notion that kids had the option of keeping their rooms in any condition they liked. …We were free to choose butter or sour cream on the baked potato, but fruits and vegetables were not optional.  Neither was sitting down and eating, clearing the table or helping with the dishes… Forgetting to put tools back where you found them…not an option. Not picking up jackets or shirts or sweaters off the floor…no option. Talking back?  A high risk option. Not following the rules…not optional… When they found that pack of cigarettes or got a call from the school, they weren’t real big on exploring our feelings and self-esteem. Debate never held the attraction for them that swift action did. Of course times are different today.  We have scores of options that didn’t exist 30 years ago.   For every personal failure, discouragement or hangnail we have the option of blaming our parents, our gene pool, our first grade teacher, our hormones, our low self esteem, stress, or TV. Too bad I was so far into adulthood before discovering that personal responsibility was as optional as…hollandaise on asparagus….too late for me…already been brainwashed…attempting to do the same with my kids. I can only hope they will someday exercise the option to understand that I couldn’t help it.  I was victimized by the ancient malady fondly remembered as the work ethic. (clips from Lori Borgman) W. Makah (…who also victimizes her children by not making personal responsibility an option.)

Response:

 Thanks for a very good post. it came at a time that I really needed to see it.

: These are clips from a column wrote by Lori Borgman (Indianapolis Star : and News).  I keep the column on my refridgerator (along with a couple : of choice columns by John Rosemond, and of course reams of "kid art" : and school papers and schedules.  It discusses parenting "the old : fashion way", before we started analyzing everything to death. : …parents were ruthless…never let me think that going the full : distance was optional.  They were from the Great Depression and the : WWII generation who believed you worked whether or not you felt like : it.  Work in any shape or form was never optional. : …never gave us many options.  Oh, it isn’t like we never had the : freedom to choose.  We always got to choose after a storm whether we : wanted to help pick up the weeping willow branches from the yard.  Or : if we wanted to mouth off and pick the branches up by ourselves. : …they required that our beds be made and our rooms tidy before : leaving for school.  They never nagged about it, they just expected : it.  They didn’t buy the notion that kids had the option of keeping : their rooms in any condition they liked. : …We were free to choose butter or sour cream on the baked potato, : but fruits and vegetables were not optional.  Neither was sitting down : and eating, clearing the table or helping with the dishes… : Forgetting to put tools back where you found them…not an option. : Not picking up jackets or shirts or sweaters off the floor…no : option. : Talking back?  A high risk option. : Not following the rules…not optional… : When they found that pack of cigarettes or got a call from the school, : they weren’t real big on exploring our feelings and self-esteem. : Debate never held the attraction for them that swift action did. : Of course times are different today.  We have scores of options that : didn’t exist 30 years ago.   For every personal failure, : discouragement or hangnail we have the option of blaming our parents, : our gene pool, our first grade teacher, our hormones, our low self : esteem, stress, or TV. : Too bad I was so far into adulthood before discovering that personal : responsibility was as optional as…hollandaise on asparagus….too : late for me…already been brainwashed…attempting to do the same : with my kids. : I can only hope they will someday exercise the option to understand : that I couldn’t help it.  I was victimized by the ancient malady : fondly remembered as the work ethic. : (clips from Lori Borgman) : W. Makah : (…who also victimizes her children by not making personal : responsibility an option.) — Elaine Gallegos

Response: