Pure Parents

Question:

I have a problem with my 4yr old, he used to eat almost anything, now that he is "trying to use his control" he refuses any fruit, any vegetables(except potatoes, so far) no O.J., even his once favorite sweet corn and fruit snacks are now refused.  I think we should find ways to sneak veggies in his food, such as carrot bread, he has a good appetite, but only for meat & bread, which also brings about problems going potty, my husband thinks we should only offer fruit& veg until he gets hungry enough to eat them, I feel this is too strict, Can anyone offer any help, or recipes disguising this foodgroup? Thanks, Angie

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>but only for meat & bread, which also brings about problems going potty, >my husband thinks we should only offer fruit& veg until he gets hungry >enough to eat them, I feel this is too strict, Can anyone offer any help, >or recipes disguising this foodgroup?

One thing I can think of, if he’ll eat meat OK, is putting veggies in meatloaf.  You can put shredded carrots, maybe mushrooms, green peppers, etc.  This is how I make meatloaf anyway – it uses less meat, which I’m trying to help my husband eat less of. Also, maybe beef stew?  Carrots, potatoes, celery?  I think the carrot bread is a good idea, too.  Don’t forget banana bread! Amy Mother of John (7/31/95) and Joseph (10/25/96)

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I’m new to this newsgroup, and I apologize if this post repeats another. My 2 year-old is so picky and unpredictable in his eating habits, it is driving us up the wall.  I’ve heard people say that you should put only what you are eating in front of them, and if they are hungry, they will eat, but this doesn’t work with him.  If he doesn’t like what we’re eating, he won’t eat.   These days all he wants are cheese and jam on toast and a few other things.  No vegetables, except an occasional bite of carrot, and only occasional fruits–pears only, right now.  He loves snacks, which I keep as nutritious as possible, but they’re all carbs–crackers, mostly.  My instinct is not to worry, he’ll outgrow it, but I’ve also read that this is the time to acclimate them to new foods, since later they will not be as receptive to trying things.  He virtually_never_ tries anything new.  Even if there is no problem with this in the long run, in the short run, it means he wants to snack more, gets irritable more quickly, and wakes early in the am to nurse if he hasn’t had dinner, then keeps us up all night with his hungry belly.  Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Mahalo (thanks) and Aloha, Gillian

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re: picky eater, I myself have encountered the stress of three children whom were very picky with food. The family G.P. made a comment during a visit at which I was distraut over my two year-olds eating behavior. She said "Allow your child the opportunity to eat what they will and never force food on them. As long as there is a healthy amount of food made available at all times of the day,your child will eat when she feels hungry and sooner or later she will start to try new foods and get onto a proper schedule. Just have patience,love and support". connie.    

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Probably many parents "give in" early and make the child a separate meal at the first signs of not eating.  Perhaps your child is not hungry enough to eat what is in front of him.  Would it be cruel to advise you to "stick to your guns" and only give him what you eat? I do sympathize with picky eaters, though.  I was one and I remember having to sit in front of mashed potatoes gone cold.  The idea of eating them was repellent! Try making your own fruit and vegetable juices/applesauce.  Sometimes hard things are a nuisance.  Cut up fruit and vegetables in slices, don’t give a whole carrot or apple. Jennifer

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>opportunity to eat what they will and never force food on them. As long >as there is a healthy amount of food made available at all times of the >day,your child will eat when she feels hungry and sooner or later she

I agree with this – I put food out, and if he wants it, he eats it.  I try not to make a special meal for him, unless we are eating something not fit for him, e.g., too spicy.  As my pediatrician pointed out to me when I was antsy about him not eating much, no child this young will starve themselves on purpose.  Made *me* feel better, anyway… Amy Mother of John (7/31/95) and Joseph (10/25/96)

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I’m new to this newsgroup, and I apologize if this post repeats another. > My 2 year-old is so picky and unpredictable in his eating habits, it is > driving us up the wall.  I’ve heard people say that you should put only > what you are eating in front of them, and if they are hungry, they will > eat, but this doesn’t work with him.  If he doesn’t like what we’re > eating, he won’t eat.   These days all he wants are cheese and jam on > toast and a few other things.  No vegetables, except an occasional bite of > carrot, and only occasional fruits–pears only, right now.  He loves > snacks, which I keep as nutritious as possible, but they’re all > carbs–crackers, mostly.  My instinct is not to worry, he’ll outgrow it, > but I’ve also read that this is the time to acclimate them to new foods, > since later they will not be as receptive to trying things.  He > virtually_never_ tries anything new.  Even if there is no problem with > this in the long run, in the short run, it means he wants to snack more, > gets irritable more quickly, and wakes early in the am to nurse if he > hasn’t had dinner, then keeps us up all night with his hungry belly.  Any > suggestions would be much appreciated. > Mahalo (thanks) and Aloha, > Gillian

I have the same problem at my home so I know how you feel.  And he also would eat carbs all day long if allowed.  Here are few things that I try to do (with mixed results depending on a day): – try to involve him in preparation of the food.  I sit him on the counter next to me and let him put ravioli or past to cook. When we do sit to eat I try to make him aware of the fact that he just cooked the ravioli himself and that makes a difference. (sometimes, of course) -If I am cutting some vegetables I offer him a slice at the time, not making it a big deal if he does not want it.  I looks like I am very preoccupied with cutting and not with trying to feed him and it worked couple of times as a good time to introduce the stuff he would normally not even touch. – I do try to give him the same food that we eat but make sure it’s not spiced at all, cut to smaller pieces, and pretty plain (no souce etc) The same goes for frozen vegies as well, he likes them very plain and not even warm.  I don’t mind that as far as he would eat some.  Peas and corn workes the best. – If we get rather desperate in getting him to eat meat we also try another trick- "distraction". We sing a song together or read a book and offer a piece of chicken at the same time.  No pushing! (that NEVER WORKED and we just got very frustrated). If he is hungry enough and wants to eat he will do it.  The trick is to make the distration the main attraction and NOT the food. – The other thing that worked sometimes is a re-introduction of food he happened to try a long time ago, liked it and then hated it.  After some time he forgets that he does not liked it and may try again.   Well, I hope this helps a little. Joanna P.S. We also started a vitamin supplement when he was about 8 or 10 mos old and still give him one vitamin a day.  He loves it!

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My sister called the other day and asked how to get her baby (two weeks old) to sleep at night instead of during the day. I told her that they work it out for themselves and I don’t really remember having this problem with mine too much. They tried a radio – thinking maybe it was too quite – didn’t work. They tried a thing that surrounds the baby and simulates the mother’s hearbeat – didn’t work. The baby will sleep at night in bed with them – big surprise there <G> – but dad doesn’t want to "get into a bad habit" – worked with mine. They think maybe the crib is too big as she sleeps in the cradle downstairs during the day – could have something there. I suggested moving the cradle in their room.  I hate to see babies sleeping in their own room.  They have to be lonely and scared after being with mom so long.  Don’t know if they’ll try it or not.  (plus it make bfing easier and if the babe falls asleep in the big bed, big deal)  But that’s just me. Any other suggestions?  I promised her I’d ask. Nyoka

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> re: picky eater, > I myself have encountered the stress of three children whom were very > picky with food. > The family G.P. made a comment during a visit at which I was distraut > over my two year-olds eating behavior. She said "Allow your child the > opportunity to eat what they will and never force food on them. As long > as there is a healthy amount of food made available at all times of the > day,your child will eat when she feels hungry and sooner or later she > will start to try new foods and get onto a proper schedule. Just have > patience,love and support". > connie.    

Thanks for your support.   Just so you know, for some reason, your reply posted 4 times!  Maybe there’s a problem with your server. Aloha, Gillian

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I’m with you on all points, Nyoka.  Babies don’t belong in their own rooms, and they often sleep better in the parents’ bed.  They should do some reading or talking to others who "co-sleep."  Maybe this will reassure Dad that it won’t create any bad habits, just a more secure baby/child.  I love Dr. Sears’s The Baby Book and Nighttime Parenting; maybe they could use an introduction to attachment parenting. We did have trouble with our baby knowing night from day, probably in part because he was kept in the intensive care nursery after birth.  HE’d conk out during the day and we couldn’t wake him at all.  At night, we had to have the lights on during feedings, because we were using a feeding tube and pumping.  I think the lights might have been part of the problem.  But for your sis, I’m guessing it’s the sleeping arrangements that need to change. Aloha, Gillian

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>…These days all [the 2 year-old] wants are cheese and jam on toast and

a few other things.  No vegetables, except an occasional bite of carrot, and only occasional fruits–pears only, right now.  He loves snacks, which I keep as nutritious as possible, but they’re all carbs–crackers, mostly.  My instinct is not to worry, he’ll outgrow it…< Control only what YOU can.  Offer him what you think he should be eating. He’ll choose how much (or how little) of each thing to eat.   One trick is to mix things.  Say he likes pancakes.  You make them but you substitute apple sauce for cooking oil in the batter (I do this in most recipes).  He’s getting some needed vitamins and fiber with his starch.   Another idea is to offer things in a new state.  Instead of diced raw apples or carrots, put the chunks in a dish and microwave until they are soft; then re-cool them under cold water.  He may prefer the softer texture due to teething or something.   Also, letting him help to make stuff will always increases it’s appeal to him.   – Ron Low Levity is the dearth of gravity.  Brevity is the height of clarity.  

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>One trick is to mix things.  Say he likes pancakes.  You make them but you >substitute apple sauce for cooking oil in the batter (I do this in most >recipes).  He’s getting some needed vitamins and fiber with his starch.   >Another idea is to offer things in a new state.  Instead of diced raw >apples or carrots, put the chunks in a dish and microwave until they are >soft; then re-cool them under cold water.  He may prefer the softer >texture due to teething or something.   >Also, letting him help to make stuff will always increases it’s appeal to >him.  

Hey Ron – Great idea with the vegetables.  I never thought about recooling them.  This would make a good snack.  I think I’ll try it out on my kids.   Also love the idea of the apple sauce in pancakes, I never think to use it as an oil substitute, although I see this in magazines and recipes all the time. –Thanks  Suzi – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Levity is the dearth of gravity.  Brevity is the height of clarity.  

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>My sister called the other day and asked how to get her baby (two weeks >old) to sleep at night instead of during the day. >I told her that they work it out for themselves and I don’t really >remember having this problem with mine too much.

A lot of babies (so I’m told) and even mine, have their days and nights mixed up.  It does work it’self out but there are things that you can do to help.  Wake the baby up frequently durring the day.  Esp. try not to let the baby sleep much after dinner.  If they sleep all day they will be to rested to sleep. >They tried a radio – thinking maybe it was too quite – didn’t work. >They tried a thing that surrounds the baby and simulates the mother’s >hearbeat – didn’t work.

Try a night light.  Babies are often afraid of the dark. >The baby will sleep at night in bed with them – big surprise there <G> – >but dad doesn’t want to "get into a bad habit" – worked with mine.

Our baby slept with us for her first few months.  But now she sleeps in her own crib.  Don’t worry about forming a habit just yet.  When the baby is ready for her own space she will let you know. >They think maybe the crib is too big as she sleeps in the cradle >downstairs during the day – could have something there.

I have heard that theory too.  Try partitioning off one side of the crib with a rolled up towel. >I suggested moving the cradle in their room.  I hate to see babies >sleeping in their own room.  They have to be lonely and scared after being >with mom so long.  Don’t know if they’ll try it or not.  (plus it make >bfing easier and if the babe falls asleep in the big bed, big deal)  But >that’s just me.

And me too.  my experience was that it was much eiseir to get our baby into the crib if it was in our room with us. >Any other suggestions?  I promised her I’d ask.

Only that every baby is different and they will develope at their own pace.  Don’t get yourself and the baby all stress out trying to force the development. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Nyoka

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<<My 2 year-old is so picky and unpredictable in his eating habits, it is driving us up the wall.>> From all of the nutrition and therapist books I have read, and the advice of many professionals (doctors, psychologists, therapists), your child is doing what 2 year olds do. Basically, don’t force, give vitamins if needed, and keep trying to introduce new foods. One day they might hate something, the next week they may love it. Many believe snacking is a good way for a toddler to eat. I would feed whatever the child will eat rather than making food an issue at this age.   Don’t feel bad, my son went through a milk and goldfish cracker phase — literally that was all he would eat! Of course we were very concerned, considering he is a premie and now weighs 20 lbs, 33" tall at 22.5 months (but he’s like a 19 month old). So I had to check out everything, but he turns out to be quite typical for a micropremie. He is doing extremely well otherwise, so I don’t worry. Still…. I wish he would eat more! Suzanne (mom to John Henry, 24 weeker, now 22.5 months) John Henry’s homepage:  http://members.aol.com/Suzanne900/index.html

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