Pure Parents

Question:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >>sitter is probably upbeat and happy either because she wants to reassure > >>you since you’re leaving her with your child and paying her, or because > >>she’s getting laid, or at least felt up and fingered a lot. She is socially > >>SECURE in her attractiveness and worth to the people she worships, namely > >>nice-looking boys! At 13 the other girl is bummed because she’s pubescent, > >>meaning now sexual, and stuck with her fucking stupid family for the summer > >>instead of with her friends all day every day or sucking and fucking some > >>bleach-blonde beachboy surfer on a romantic fantasy island! So what else >What if, due to societal prejudices rather than any fault of her own, >she is without good friends much less "beachboy surfers?"  And as for >attractiveness, maybe it would be better if society goes back to the >Venus of Willendorf era.  No anorexia, no eating disturbances, no body >guilt, no teenaged nicotine addiction in order to stay skinny.  Of >course, morbid obesity may take their place, so maybe this wasn’t a >good idea.

Then she can be expected to seem morose and agnst-ridden. I would prefer we taught them all how to fuck all their classmates in gym class and taught these primadonna boys that such little plump girls fuck just as well as these skinny little waifs, if not better! I’ve never seen these fragile waifs move their butt like the more pelvically muscular pear-shaped girls anyway, which I tend to prefer. Nor do they seem as able to learn how to orgasm vaginally. Then again, there are lots of angst-ridden and less than fashionable boys who need fuckmates as well, and we need to introduce these girls to the fact that fucking is for everyone, with everyone, and once they’ve fucked everyone in their class a half dozen times or so they won’t feel all these ridiculous unrealistic expectations of some knight on a horseback come to be her one and only. More likely she’ll want a gang-bang! > They should learn good mechanical sex technique in gym class from a dozen > other partners! >Or a good VR simulation when the technology becomes available!  :)

No, in this case there is no subtitute for the real thing, because the politics of teen angst and non-acceptance need to be overcome, beaten to death, and defeated once and for all, and that takes finding that lots of people you never imagined are perfectly capable of pleasing you totally in bed, and not only THAT, but that they secretly always WANTED to AS WELL AS YOU DID, which is the MOST IMPORTANT part of this lesson-plan anyway! >Here I am, being both a reactionary and a futurist in the same post….

I don’t think you understand what a reactionary is, then. > >that kids have access to > >books and movies about other kids who’ve struggled to get through > >adolesence (i.e., the Heinlein juveniles; A Wrinkle In Time; a lot of > >Andre Norton’s pre-cat books) and to help get them into writing programs, > >drama programs, improv classes, art programs, Star Trek fan clubs >The way a lot of teens are programmed now, Heinlein, Norton, and Star >Trek are too "geeky".  And besides, they take a certain amount of brains >to understand, and brains aren’t cool.  I say this even though I find >most of Heinlein to be right-wing drivel.  H.G. Wells or Ursula LeGuin, >OTOH, I could recommend.

That wasn’t MY post, and I agree with you. But we also don’t need to be recommending antique sci-fi literature when we can simply brute-force their personalities into the proper framework simply by affording them all the opportunities that their up till now secret fantasy-life has dreams about! A fantasy life is only something that occurs in cultures that fail to meet their members needs!! A fantasy life is meant NOT TO BE just a fantasy life! It is meant to be LIVED OUT IN FULL! The sickness of having all the things you want unfulfilled is a mental illness that only occurs in a culture that doesn’t give you what you want! It’s more like severe constipation than any "normal" condition! > Total antisexual garbage! Star Trek is as sickly weakly moronically > antisexual as fucking Tolkien! That dreck needs to all be FLUSHED! > Absolutely the same tired total fucking antisexual garbage reminiscent of > the same bullshit that middle American puritan bigotry and ignorance has > to offer that went out of fucking style in the fucking sixties!! >What sort of literature, particularly science fiction, do you like? >Hopefully not postmodernist. >- F.M. –

I like the economics of the Star trek universe, no money, apparent disdain for capitalism and personal profit, but not for innovation, discovery, and personal enhancement and fulfillment. But Star Trek has no bathrooms, no nudity, little or no sex, apparently, and seems to preserve the most moronic forms of US militarism in the organization of Star Fleet. People still are stuck shamefully trying to "get away with" acting out their parochial sexual fantasies on the Holodeck, and fearing being discovered with their pants down. Quite neurotically sick to a hugely shocking depth. Nothing like any truly reputable Futurism. We were doing far better than that in the Sixties in the couple of groupsex communes we founded. To even pretend that things would still be as bad as the sixties in several centuries, when the current puritanism of the USA is less than 150 years old and fading fast is nothing but a suck-up to the religious right and the antisexual idiocy that is Amerikan television. Steve

Response:

> >>sitter is probably upbeat and happy either because she wants to reassure >>you since you’re leaving her with your child and paying her, or because >>she’s getting laid, or at least felt up and fingered a lot. She is socially >>SECURE in her attractiveness and worth to the people she worships, namely >>nice-looking boys! At 13 the other girl is bummed because she’s pubescent, >>meaning now sexual, and stuck with her fucking stupid family for the summer >>instead of with her friends all day every day or sucking and fucking some >>bleach-blonde beachboy surfer on a romantic fantasy island! So what else

What if, due to societal prejudices rather than any fault of her own, she is without good friends much less "beachboy surfers?"  And as for attractiveness, maybe it would be better if society goes back to the Venus of Willendorf era.  No anorexia, no eating disturbances, no body guilt, no teenaged nicotine addiction in order to stay skinny.  Of course, morbid obesity may take their place, so maybe this wasn’t a good idea. > They should learn good mechanical sex technique in gym class from a dozen > other partners!

Or a good VR simulation when the technology becomes available!  :) Here I am, being both a reactionary and a futurist in the same post…. >that kids have access to >books and movies about other kids who’ve struggled to get through >adolesence (i.e., the Heinlein juveniles; A Wrinkle In Time; a lot of >Andre Norton’s pre-cat books) and to help get them into writing programs, >drama programs, improv classes, art programs, Star Trek fan clubs

The way a lot of teens are programmed now, Heinlein, Norton, and Star Trek are too "geeky".  And besides, they take a certain amount of brains to understand, and brains aren’t cool.  I say this even though I find most of Heinlein to be right-wing drivel.  H.G. Wells or Ursula LeGuin, OTOH, I could recommend. > Total antisexual garbage! Star Trek is as sickly weakly moronically > antisexual as fucking Tolkien! That dreck needs to all be FLUSHED! > Absolutely the same tired total fucking antisexual garbage reminiscent of > the same bullshit that middle American puritan bigotry and ignorance has > to offer that went out of fucking style in the fucking sixties!!

What sort of literature, particularly science fiction, do you like? Hopefully not postmodernist. – F.M. – If Jesus were alive today, he’d be a nerd, geek, and Linux hippie.  Not to mention commie and faggot.  All in all, quite the opposite of his hordes of book-burning macho "good old boy" followers.

Response:

>>sitter is probably upbeat and happy either because she wants to reassure >you since you’re leaving her with your child and paying her, or because >she’s getting laid, or at least felt up and fingered a lot. She is socially >SECURE in her attractiveness and worth to the people she worships, namely >nice-looking boys! At 13 the other girl is bummed because she’s pubescent, >meaning now sexual, and stuck with her fucking stupid family for the summer >instead of with her friends all day every day or sucking and fucking some >bleach-blonde beachboy surfer on a romantic fantasy island! So what else >You’re tone is sort of harsh, but I think there’s a fair amount of truth >to what you’re writing here. Teenagers do have a tendency to want some >romance in their lives.

Shit, EVERYBODY does, that’s just human-normal!! >One problem is the language you use to describe this attitude. Teenage >guys might like, but I think 99 percent of teenage girls would be totally >mortified to think of a grown man (i.e., to them, any guy over 21) >writing about them this way.

That’s because this society and its parents abuse children with stark harsh antisexuality. They literally program kids, especially girls, to believe they are abused by any sexual honesty and to feel pseudo-abused by any sexual candor. Any study of other human societies can prove to you by counter-example that this is an abnormal response and an abnormal way to treat and teach children about their sexuality. >Another problem is that, for girls, anyway, romance is sex, but romance is >also understanding.

It is to teenage boys as well. But boys have less doubt they can find understanding, except for their sexual needs and desires, and more doubt they can obtain sex. With girls, who are raised with harsher proscriptions against the expression of secret personal desires and more attention on their sexual desirability, this abusive dichotomy is reversed. They are told they can get sex easily but that they are filthy for even wanting sex, let alone wanting it from someone who’s nice to them. Boys will be boys, but girls will be sluts. >Teenagers want romance because they’re full of raging >sex hormones, but they’ve also reached the age when they learn that no one >really understands them, that no one can understand them, and that, in >many cases, no one around them is even willing or able to make a serious >effort to care about them.

Oh adults and society understand them alright, but what it is that they understand about them adults in society are not even able to admit about their OWN secret desires, so they pretend cynically that they don’t even really KNOW what teens want, because they secretly want the very same thing,] lots of sexual opportunity and romantic hydraulics reminiscent of romance novels. >If a 13-year-old girl can get some kind of safe sex (or near sex) with a >guy her age combined with something approximating compassionate >understanding, maybe that will make her genuinely happy.

Indeed, and at that age it will probably take several such boys! >Six times out of 10 what she’ll actually get is some kind of safe sex/near >sex with a guy her age who’s as wrapped up in his own problems as she is >in hers and is unable to provide either understanding or compassion. At >worst, maybe two or three times out of 10, she’ll end up having unsafe >sex, maybe terrifying sex, with an older jerk who despises her or simply >has no awareness whatsoever that she’s a human being. That kind of >experience will just make the angst even more horrible. And chances are >the girl who’s saddest and most isolated to start with is the one who’s >going to end up with the most abusive guys.

If a girl is led to believe EITHER that she must forgoe sexuality for years or decades to please shaming religious bigots, or find one and only one boy age 13 to meet all her needs she will indeed be inconsolably disappointed, but if she is instead socialized to understand that sex is an enjoyment for as many as she can find to fuck her and keep her at least sexually satisfied, the right of every sexually desirous human, and without being shamed for it, and that finding a partner or partners suitable to breed with and trust is often a longterm even lifelong quest that is actually unrelated to her current sexual needs, then she will be able to far more realistically carry on a healthy and realistic sexlife as a young person. This society needs to come the fuck off it!!! >Young guys may not suffer that much from bad or mediocre sex. But think >about it: for the typical shrimpy girl under the age of about 14 or so, >anything other than wonderful, sweet, loving sex with a great, sensitive >guy her age probably means some smelly, relatively huge guy lying on top >of her, half-suffocating her, doing stuff to her that (even if he’s trying >to be nice) sometimes hurts like hell. I could be wrong, but I just don’t >think mediocre sex is as scary or physically painful for a young guy as it >is for a young girl.

It doesn’t hurt more than about once, and a number of them break it themselves! They should learn good mechanical sex technique in gym class from a dozen other partners! As for the rest, my wife of 20 years told me that she BEGGED GOD for some nice big smelly guy to lay on her and fuck her brains out, thanks, from the time she was NINE YEARS OLD AND GROWING TITS! And she told me that all her girlfriends admitted to wanting the SAME THING! So you can stop with your ignorantly antisexual bigoted puritan theatrics!! >So, I think the answer to teen angst isn’t to send 13-year-olds to the >mall with packages of condoms, but to make sure that kids have access to >books and movies about other kids who’ve struggled to get through >adolesence (i.e., the Heinlein juveniles; A Wrinkle In Time; a lot of >Andre Norton’s pre-cat books) and to help get them into writing programs, >drama programs, improv classes, art programs, Star Trek fan clubs, etc. >where they can find ways to express their feelings, and maybe gain some >empathy for the people around them. And maybe, once in awhile, to find >members of the preferred sex who really would make good romantic partners.

Total antisexual garbage! Star Trek is as sickly weakly moronically antisexual as fucking Tolkien! That dreck needs to all be FLUSHED! Absolutely the same tired total fucking antisexual garbage reminiscent of the same bullshit that middle American puritan bigotry and ignorance has to offer that went out of fucking style in the fucking sixties!! Tired old antihumane garbage that needs wiping from the face of the fucking earth with nothing short of a big fucking flame thrower!! Steve

Response:

>sitter is probably upbeat and happy either because she wants to reassure >you since you’re leaving her with your child and paying her, or because >she’s getting laid, or at least felt up and fingered a lot. She is socially >SECURE in her attractiveness and worth to the people she worships, namely >nice-looking boys! At 13 the other girl is bummed because she’s pubescent, >meaning now sexual, and stuck with her fucking stupid family for the summer >instead of with her friends all day every day or sucking and fucking some >bleach-blonde beachboy surfer on a romantic fantasy island! So what else

You’re tone is sort of harsh, but I think there’s a fair amount of truth to what you’re writing here. Teenagers do have a tendency to want some romance in their lives. One problem is the language you use to describe this attitude. Teenage guys might like, but I think 99 percent of teenage girls would be totally mortified to think of a grown man (i.e., to them, any guy over 21) writing about them this way. Another problem is that, for girls, anyway, romance is sex, but romance is also understanding. Teenagers want romance because they’re full of raging sex hormones, but they’ve also reached the age when they learn that no one really understands them, that no one can understand them, and that, in many cases, no one around them is even willing or able to make a serious effort to care about them. If a 13-year-old girl can get some kind of safe sex (or near sex) with a guy her age combined with something approximating compassionate understanding, maybe that will make her genuinely happy. Six times out of 10 what she’ll actually get is some kind of safe sex/near sex with a guy her age who’s as wrapped up in his own problems as she is in hers and is unable to provide either understanding or compassion. At worst, maybe two or three times out of 10, she’ll end up having unsafe sex, maybe terrifying sex, with an older jerk who despises her or simply has no awareness whatsoever that she’s a human being. That kind of experience will just make the angst even more horrible. And chances are the girl who’s saddest and most isolated to start with is the one who’s going to end up with the most abusive guys. Young guys may not suffer that much from bad or mediocre sex. But think about it: for the typical shrimpy girl under the age of about 14 or so, anything other than wonderful, sweet, loving sex with a great, sensitive guy her age probably means some smelly, relatively huge guy lying on top of her, half-suffocating her, doing stuff to her that (even if he’s trying to be nice) sometimes hurts like hell. I could be wrong, but I just don’t think mediocre sex is as scary or physically painful for a young guy as it is for a young girl. So, I think the answer to teen angst isn’t to send 13-year-olds to the mall with packages of condoms, but to make sure that kids have access to books and movies about other kids who’ve struggled to get through adolesence (i.e., the Heinlein juveniles; A Wrinkle In Time; a lot of Andre Norton’s pre-cat books) and to help get them into writing programs, drama programs, improv classes, art programs, Star Trek fan clubs, etc. where they can find ways to express their feelings, and maybe gain some empathy for the people around them. And maybe, once in awhile, to find members of the preferred sex who really would make good romantic partners.

Response:

> My brother is shamefully not very good at parenting. > He for the most part paid no attention to his kids.

Have you discussed this with him? > When they were at the beach, my brother sat under the umbrella for no > more than one hour then headed back to the house by himself, leaving > the boys with us. My sister in law sat and read a book the entire time.

But he did accompany them to the beach, which means he paid them some attention.  IF you feel he expected you to do his work, tell him so. He seems to be chronically tired, and under stress; so he’s relieved when you can help out. > My husband played with the older boy in the waves and he (our nephew) > loved it. My girls played in the sand with the younger nephew. At the > beach house, I played some board games with my girls and my nephews > and niece. At night, my brother and his family went to the boardwalk

They welcome your company.  They are probably very lonely, and relish some non-judgmental company both their own age and older. > At the beachhouse, the boys watched TV *every* waking moment. They have > horrible eating habits and eat whenever and whatever suits them. They > were taking food that they knew belonged to other family members. My > older nephew, at age 11, weighs 150 lbs. My younger one is on his way > up there. They sat slumped on the couch watching with such boredom. I > offered to take them out on walks with us, play other games with the TV > off, but the older one refused (the other did do things with us).

Oh God, what a crime for young boys not to be jocks! Seriously, never mind my sarcasm, this really isn’t a good situation. Perhaps there is some medical condition involved, such as hypothyroidism or depression.  It’s not likely to affect the whole family, but not impossible either.  Or only the parents could be affected, and the kids are just copying them.  Tell your brother and sister-in-law to seek medical help first, in case something might be wrong. > My niece sat in her room all day watching TV. I am close with her and > always have been. I invited her to come to stay with us for a week next > week, as she did last year, and had a great time. She nodded her head > very agreeably and seemed almost relieved and optimistic. She seems > very sad and withdrawn and I know in my heart it is because of her > family situation.

It would be helpful to know more about this.  The kids seem bored and lonely, and generally low in energy.  The latter is not necessarily a bad thing; some people just are that way.  Eating junk food and failing to exercise make it worse.  I suspect their parents really do love them, and care for them the best they can, but lack the energy to do a good job. No doubt the kids are also isolated, maybe abused, at school – because of that, withdrawn, lonely, and suspicious. Remember my "non-jock crime" comment?  Those kids have to put up with that kind of attitude at school, from their peers, and maybe their teachers too.  Their parents can’t help here either:  no energy. The results could be a lot worse. > I can’t believe this is normal teenage behavior, is it? My babysitter, > who is 14, is always upbeat and happy. I cannot imagine her ever sitting > in her room all day watching TV and acting withdrawn.

In some ways it *is* "normal" teenage behavior.  It may well be, for kids in their situation, assuming that their situation is as I suspect. – F.M. – If Jesus were alive today, he’d be a nerd, geek, and Linux hippie.  Not to mention commie and faggot.  All in all, quite the opposite of his hordes of pseudo-patriotic book-burning macho "good old boy" followers.

Response:

>>I don’t know why I get such a reputation. >Well, if you looked again at your response, you would know. But then again, you >would say the whole thing all over again.

And that would be because you wouldn’t pay attention and obviously need to hear it all again. >I think that the reason why my babysitter is so upbeat and happy is because she >has a very good relationship in her family and her parents do things with the >kids,

Oh suuuuure, why that must be it! Bullshit, my experience and that of every kid I’ve known and every adult I talked to in the process of becoming intimate personally and sexually with dozens of people shows me that you’re both coyly lying in a smarmy facile presumptuously obnoxious Xtian antisexual mock:pillar-of-the-community bigot fashion, and that you don’t know the first fucking thing about your own sexual nature or anyone else’s! You’re in total fucking sexual denial. If you expect to predict and explain teen behavior with such a ridiculous santized version of human motivation as that, you’re going to be sadly disappointed! >not just sit in another room ignoring them while the kids pig out and >watch TV all day. That is neglect if you ask me.

You can’t "neglect" a teenager, they’re your mental equal! >This isn’t just one day, this is every day.The eleven year old is always >getting yelled at, also. Like you said, Steve, there are no bad kids, >only bad parents.

Except the KIDS aren’t BAD, you just don’t like their HOBBIES! >This situation has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

For the 11 and 9 year old, probably, but NOT for the 13 year old! >Sometimes I wonder if you blame things on that just to get attention.

I do it to call your attention to this truth that you are working like the fucking devil to ignore!! The fact that you really believe your ignorant shit is the most amazing thing to me. I can talk to teens about this stuff and they say, "yeah, wow, you’re amazing, you actually take our feelings seriously and treat us like normal adults", and then YOU blather your mamby pamby crap and just amaze me with your entrenched devotion and adherence to SUCH UNBELIEVABLY BLIND ANTISEXUAL BULLCRAP! I’ve talked to all the teens my kids fucked at home in their rooms from age 11 on who stayed to supper with us, who KNEW we didn’t care if they were our kids’ lovers and had sex right in our home, and we heard what THEY say and WOULD have wanted to say to the parents they KNEW they couldn’t talk to, and ALL YOU ARE IS ONE MORE OF THOSE!! Steve

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I just got back from the shore with my family after sharing a house with my > sister, her two daughters (ages 17 & 19) and brother, his wife, and their three > kids (niece 13, newphews 11 and 9). My brother is shamefully not very good at > parenting. He complained alot about nothing at the shore which is his usual > nature. He for the most part paid no attention to his kids. He and his wife lay > in their bedroom watching TV all day if they weren’t at the beach. When they > were at the beach, my brother sat under the umbrella for no more than one hour > then headed back to the house by himself, leaving the boys with us. My sister > in law sat and read a book the entire time. My husband played with the older > boy in the waves and he (our nephew) loved it. My girls played in the sand with > the younger nephew. At the beach house, I played some board games with my girls > and my nephews and niece. At night, my brother and his family went to the > boardwalk together. Again, my brother was always the first one in, early. At > the beachhouse, the boys watched TV *every* waking moment. They have horrible > eating habits and eat whenever and whatever suits them. They were taking food > that they knew belonged to other family members. My older nephew, at age 11, > weighs 150 lbs. My younger one is on his way up there. They sat slumped on the > couch watching with such boredom. I offered to take them out on walks with us, > play other games with the TV off, but the older one refused (the other did do > things with us). My niece sat in her room all day watching TV. I am close with > her and always have been. I invited her to come to stay with us for a week next > week, as she did last year, and had a great time. She nodded her head very > agreeably and seemed almost relieved and optimistic. She seems very sad and > withdrawn and I know in my heart it is because of her family situation. She > livens up a bit when she is around my girls but I hate to see her so sad. The > only thing I can do when she visits is share/talk alot with her (school, > friends, etc) as I always do and give her a good time, which she always has > here. I can’t believe this is normal teenage behavior, is it? My babysitter, > who is 14, is always upbeat and happy. I cannot imagine her ever sitting in her > room all day watching TV and acting withdrawn. Is there anything else I can do > for my niece? > Note to Steve: It will not solve any problems if I tell her to kill her parents > so please do not suggest that. > Susan

Having a female teenager myself (15) she would probably sit all day watching MTV and instant messaging on the computer.  She is very interested in theatre and singing so for the past 4 yrs. she has been involved with a local summer stage program at another high school.  She absolutely loves it! Her play just ended 2 wks ago and she was busy everyday with it since school let out.  We were at the shore last week also and now this week she and her 13 yr. old sister are doing a field hockey camp at a local college. My suggestion is to find out what your niece’s likes and interests are, as well as her brothers’.  Maybe as a Christmas and/or birthday gift you could pay for a camp or something else that would cultivate their interests.  If it’s too expensive possibly other family members could chip in with you.  It may make a big difference in their lives. It’s good that you have a good relationship with your niece.  Hopefully she will feel comfortable coming to you with problems. Mary Ellen

Response:

>I don’t know why I get such a reputation.

Well, if you looked again at your response, you would know. But then again, you would say the whole thing all over again. I think that the reason why my babysitter is so upbeat and happy is because she has a very good relationship in her family and her parents do things with the kids, not just sit in another room ignoring them while the kids pig out and watch TV all day. That is neglect if you ask me. This isn’t just one day, this is every day.The eleven year old is always getting yelled at, also. Like you said, Steve, there are no bad kids, only bad parents. This situation has absolutely nothing to do with sex. Sometimes I wonder if you blame things on that just to get attention. Susan

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I just got back from the shore with my family after sharing a house with my >sister, her two daughters (ages 17 & 19) and brother, his wife, and their three >kids (niece 13, newphews 11 and 9). My brother is shamefully not very good at >parenting. He complained alot about nothing at the shore which is his usual >nature. He for the most part paid no attention to his kids. He and his wife lay >in their bedroom watching TV all day if they weren’t at the beach. When they >were at the beach, my brother sat under the umbrella for no more than one hour >then headed back to the house by himself, leaving the boys with us. My sister >in law sat and read a book the entire time. My husband played with the older >boy in the waves and he (our nephew) loved it. My girls played in the sand with >the younger nephew. At the beach house, I played some board games with my girls >and my nephews and niece. At night, my brother and his family went to the >boardwalk together. Again, my brother was always the first one in, early. At >the beachhouse, the boys watched TV *every* waking moment. They have horrible >eating habits and eat whenever and whatever suits them. They were taking food >that they knew belonged to other family members. My older nephew, at age 11, >weighs 150 lbs. My younger one is on his way up there. They sat slumped on the >couch watching with such boredom. I offered to take them out on walks with us, >play other games with the TV off, but the older one refused (the other did do >things with us). My niece sat in her room all day watching TV. I am close with >her and always have been. I invited her to come to stay with us for a week next >week, as she did last year, and had a great time. She nodded her head very >agreeably and seemed almost relieved and optimistic. She seems very sad and >withdrawn and I know in my heart it is because of her family situation. She >livens up a bit when she is around my girls but I hate to see her so sad. The >only thing I can do when she visits is share/talk alot with her (school, >friends, etc) as I always do and give her a good time, which she always has >here. I can’t believe this is normal teenage behavior, is it? My babysitter, >who is 14, is always upbeat and happy. I cannot imagine her ever sitting in her >room all day watching TV and acting withdrawn. Is there anything else I can do >for my niece? >Note to Steve: It will not solve any problems if I tell her to kill her parents >so please do not suggest that. >Susan

I don’t know why I get such a reputation. It doesn’t sound as though they are being abused. People are unhappy for more particular reasons than merely having a boring family who do nothing but eat. If you don’t like doing that you don’t have to, even in their family, so I am not much concerned. People have to learn to take on their own life. She’s bummed because she’s 13 and hasn’t anyone to fuck. If you could read her mind you’d know that, hell, if you could even read YOURS you’d know that! Girls her age are only depressed if they don’t have their sexuality going somewhere.  By that age they have totally internally written off their parents, and actually have little more interest in them if they aren’t an important part of their personal life, and they often are not! Your sitter is probably upbeat and happy either because she wants to reassure you since you’re leaving her with your child and paying her, or because she’s getting laid, or at least felt up and fingered a lot. She is socially SECURE in her attractiveness and worth to the people she worships, namely nice-looking boys! At 13 the other girl is bummed because she’s pubescent, meaning now sexual, and stuck with her fucking stupid family for the summer instead of with her friends all day every day or sucking and fucking some bleach-blonde beachboy surfer on a romantic fantasy island! So what else is new? Any idiot who admits what he knows can tell you THAT! As for the boys it sounds like they haven’t grown a dick yet, so they care only for TV and video games, as is normal. If you want to make them get out and do something show them how to make wooden swords and shields so they can beat the shit out of each other, and you be referee! Or find them some gnarly trees to climb with ropes strung between them like Tarzan, or some small animal to torture. They also like robots so if you were a savvy old techno-weasel like me you could entertain them and teach them something at the same time by taking apart shit and wiring it into other shit with boards and nails and soldering irons, but to me people who don’t know that stuff all look equally like moronic useless LUMPS. What did you expect to entertain them with a fucking "nature walk"? Shit, they want to kill things or burn stuff! Steve

Response:

I just got back from the shore with my family after sharing a house with my sister, her two daughters (ages 17 & 19) and brother, his wife, and their three kids (niece 13, newphews 11 and 9). My brother is shamefully not very good at parenting. He complained alot about nothing at the shore which is his usual nature. He for the most part paid no attention to his kids. He and his wife lay in their bedroom watching TV all day if they weren’t at the beach. When they were at the beach, my brother sat under the umbrella for no more than one hour then headed back to the house by himself, leaving the boys with us. My sister in law sat and read a book the entire time. My husband played with the older boy in the waves and he (our nephew) loved it. My girls played in the sand with the younger nephew. At the beach house, I played some board games with my girls and my nephews and niece. At night, my brother and his family went to the boardwalk together. Again, my brother was always the first one in, early. At the beachhouse, the boys watched TV *every* waking moment. They have horrible eating habits and eat whenever and whatever suits them. They were taking food that they knew belonged to other family members. My older nephew, at age 11, weighs 150 lbs. My younger one is on his way up there. They sat slumped on the couch watching with such boredom. I offered to take them out on walks with us, play other games with the TV off, but the older one refused (the other did do things with us). My niece sat in her room all day watching TV. I am close with her and always have been. I invited her to come to stay with us for a week next week, as she did last year, and had a great time. She nodded her head very agreeably and seemed almost relieved and optimistic. She seems very sad and withdrawn and I know in my heart it is because of her family situation. She livens up a bit when she is around my girls but I hate to see her so sad. The only thing I can do when she visits is share/talk alot with her (school, friends, etc) as I always do and give her a good time, which she always has here. I can’t believe this is normal teenage behavior, is it? My babysitter, who is 14, is always upbeat and happy. I cannot imagine her ever sitting in her room all day watching TV and acting withdrawn. Is there anything else I can do for my niece? Note to Steve: It will not solve any problems if I tell her to kill her parents so please do not suggest that. Susan

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