Question:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This was certainly the case for us. We tried going to underwear > unsuccessfully several times since he was about 2 1/2. I fretted a bit > over whether he’d *ever* get it or whether he was still going to be in > diapers a year from now. Then, the Sunday before last, we made another > try at switching to underwear. He had a couple of accidents on Sunday > and Monday, but has been dry and clean since Tuesday. He did it all > himself. All we did was put on the underwear; the rest was up to him. > BTDT. Unfortunately, Erica has no interest yet in wearing underwear. > She’s perfectly content in her diaper. She’s a few months older than > your son but extremely strong willed and stubborn. I too refuse to > turn it into a battle of wills. It can’t just be me who wants > it…she has to want it too>
Don’t worry about it, Marion. If she doesn’t want to use the toilet or wear underwear, you can certainly let it ride for quite a while longer. I think a child in diapers is *infinitely* easier to manage than a partially potty-trained one who isn’t really on board with the program! And I really never have met a normal child who went to kindergarten wearing diapers, let alone college <g>. FWIW, Julian was motivated by the knowledge that he wouldn’t be able to go to preschool with his cousin this month if he was still in diapers. In addition, we gave him the "maybe you’re just not big enough to use the potty" routine; that got his back up a bit. Between those two things and finally just being *ready*, it was a cinch this time. — Be well, Barbara (Julian [7/22/97] and Aurora’s [7/19/99] mom) Before you buy.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Whichever of the three things I’ve just mentioned is the real reason > for his behavior (or perhaps there are more explanations I haven’t > thought of), it’s pretty clear to me that your son is telling you in > the only way he knows how that he’s just not ready for potty training. > While he’s physiologicaly able to recognize the need to urinate and do > something about it, if he’s not able to get it in the toilet where it > belongs reliably, he’s just not ready yet. > Potty training is not a contest: you won’t get any brownie points in > parent heaven because your child was potty trained at an earlier age > than the neighbor’s. Potty training should never be a battle of wills > between parent and child: if you allow it to become one, you (the > parent) are the sure loser because the owner of the bladder and the > bowels is the one who gets to decide where and when to evacuate them. > Potty training is not about discipline or being "good", it’s a physical > developmental milestone like walking or talking, and just as you can’t > force a child to walk or talk by punishing him if he doesn’t, you can’t > force a child to use the toilet by punishments.
Thank you for expressing my feelings exactly. I have never understood why people who would never dream of pushing a child to walk when they weren’t ready, or *make* him practise new words over and over think that just because a kid has reached some "magic" age is automatically ready to use the toilet. > My advice is simple: put him back in diapers and back off the potty > completely. When *he* expresses an interest in using the potty again, > put him back in underwear and try again for a few days. If it doesn’t > work, revert to diapers and repeat. Eventually, he’ll get it, and when > he does, it will be very easy for both you and him > This was certainly the case for us. We tried going to underwear > unsuccessfully several times since he was about 2 1/2. I fretted a bit > over whether he’d *ever* get it or whether he was still going to be in > diapers a year from now. Then, the Sunday before last, we made another > try at switching to underwear. He had a couple of accidents on Sunday > and Monday, but has been dry and clean since Tuesday. He did it all > himself. All we did was put on the underwear; the rest was up to him.
BTDT. Unfortunately, Erica has no interest yet in wearing underwear. She’s perfectly content in her diaper. She’s a few months older than your son but extremely strong willed and stubborn. I too refuse to turn it into a battle of wills. It can’t just be me who wants it…she has to want it too> Marion——Tampamom to Louis(7) and Erica(3) — Tomorrow is a mystery Yesterday is history Today is a gift…that’s why it’s called "The Present" Before you buy.
Response:
> Hopefully someone has some ideas. > Here goes. I have a 2 1/2 yr old that has been pretty much potty trained > for about 2 weeks with no accidents in his pants. But the problem is that > he takes off his pants and training pants and pees the carpet, floor or > whatever. We have tried taking things away…and he still does it. Does > anyone have any ideas??? Please Help!
It seems to me that there are three possible explanations for your son’s behavior: 1. He doesn’t want to urinate on himself, but doesn’t feel confident that he can get to the toilet in time, so he pulls down his pants and does his business wherever he happens to be at the time. 2. He doesn’t feel comfortable going in the toilet. You never know: maybe he is afraid of being flushed down himself! Sometimes, young children have fears they aren’t able to express verbally. 3. He feels pressured to go in the potty and is peeing everywhere else on purpose. Now, if he’s doing this, it’s not to get your goat; he’s just expressing the stress and discomfort in the only way he can. Whichever of the three things I’ve just mentioned is the real reason for his behavior (or perhaps there are more explanations I haven’t thought of), it’s pretty clear to me that your son is telling you in the only way he knows how that he’s just not ready for potty training. While he’s physiologicaly able to recognize the need to urinate and do something about it, if he’s not able to get it in the toilet where it belongs reliably, he’s just not ready yet. Potty training is not a contest: you won’t get any brownie points in parent heaven because your child was potty trained at an earlier age than the neighbor’s. Potty training should never be a battle of wills between parent and child: if you allow it to become one, you (the parent) are the sure loser because the owner of the bladder and the bowels is the one who gets to decide where and when to evacuate them. Potty training is not about discipline or being "good", it’s a physical developmental milestone like walking or talking, and just as you can’t force a child to walk or talk by punishing him if he doesn’t, you can’t force a child to use the toilet by punishments. My advice is simple: put him back in diapers and back off the potty completely. When *he* expresses an interest in using the potty again, put him back in underwear and try again for a few days. If it doesn’t work, revert to diapers and repeat. Eventually, he’ll get it, and when he does, it will be very easy for both you and him. This was certainly the case for us. We tried going to underwear unsuccessfully several times since he was about 2 1/2. I fretted a bit over whether he’d *ever* get it or whether he was still going to be in diapers a year from now. Then, the Sunday before last, we made another try at switching to underwear. He had a couple of accidents on Sunday and Monday, but has been dry and clean since Tuesday. He did it all himself. All we did was put on the underwear; the rest was up to him. — Be well, Barbara (Julian [7/22/97] and Aurora’s [7/19/99] mom) Before you buy.
Response:
>Here goes. I have a 2 1/2 yr old that has been pretty much potty trained >for about 2 weeks with no accidents in his pants. But the problem is that >he takes off his pants and training pants and pees the carpet, floor or >whatever. We have tried taking things away…and he still does it. Does >anyone have any ideas??? Please Help!
It’s kinda normal for kids who grasp the idea of using trhe toilet to "backslide" a bit every now and then. It is the same thing as a kid who knows how to talk also using the old baby-talk on occasion or kids who know how to walk but still crawl sometimes. They are testing which they prefer. The part about just urinating any old place kinda suggests something else, perhaps. Especially if he takes care to make sure that he doesn’t wet his pants in the process. I would try asking him about it (not yelling or anything to make him feel bad — just asking). It might be that he has seen some guy urinate in the bushes or similar and decided to try that out at home. — Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.
Response:
Hopefully someone has some ideas. Here goes. I have a 2 1/2 yr old that has been pretty much potty trained for about 2 weeks with no accidents in his pants. But the problem is that he takes off his pants and training pants and pees the carpet, floor or whatever. We have tried taking things away…and he still does it. Does anyone have any ideas??? Please Help! Denise
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