Pure Parents

Question:

> Been there done that.  Tell them firmly but politley that he is your > child and you will ask for help when you want it.  Or just smile sweetly > and let their advice pass right by.   > : good to let him cry, builds up his lungs! > I’ve always loved this piece of advice. I tried explining that once a kid > is breathing that his lungs don’t need "building up"  That in fact for > some kids letting them cry it out is dangerous.  My husbands cousin is of > the "let them cry type"  He tells with a certain amount of glee the time > his then about 9 month old threw up because he cride so much.  

Let’s pray we don’t return to this particular old wives tale when we’re grandparents ourselves. My step mum taught this sort of thing to all her mums to be (and I’m talking up to 1984 because she did it to me – I just hope she changed her tune after this). Sincerely, Chris — Mrs. Chris McMillan. Snail mail: 42 Eastcourt Avenue, Earley, Reading, Berks RG6 1HH. UK. Tel. 0118 926 5450. Fax. 0118 966 8167.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Nicholas has actually been doing better the last couple of nites.  My >husband and I are convinced that he’s teething.  I’m not sure how well he’s >adjusting to me being at work.  During the day when my mom is watching him, >he barely will eat 3 ozs.  I’ve been pumping in the meantime during lunch >and the afternoon.  When I come home, all Nicholas wants to do is nurse, >nurse, nurse and then nurse some more!  Which is fine by me BUT I’m not >sure he’s getting enough from me.  Since Monday, I feel like I’m not very >full.  He’s been tugging and pulling at my nipple also…almost as if he’s >trying to get more out? >Make sure that you drink a lot (in european measures, 3-4 >litres a day).To let him nurse often is good, the oftener he >nurses, the more milk you will get, that is if you drink enough >liquids along with it.  Take a big glass of water with you >(and have one by the bed) each time you nurse him, as a >routine.  It really helps!  Also check on his "nursing >tecnique": The baby must have as much as possible of your >breast, most of the brown area, in his mouth. This is crucial >to avoid nipple soreness.   >And one important thing:Avoid worrying, too much worrying can >reduce your milk production.  Get help in practical matters as >much as you can, especially from your husband. Do not clean the >house or go shopping or any other things that take your energy. > Give all you have left to your baby!

It is also important that Nicholas has the equivalent of 6-8 really wet cloth nappies/diapers a day (3-4 wet disposables).  What goes in must comes out, and if he is feeding well, having wet and dirty nappies, and gaining weight and growing well (height and head circumference) then he is getting enough from you.  At 4 months postpartum, your body will be settling down after the birth and you *will* begin to feel noticably "less full".  This is a normal part of adjustment to life after birth – the law of supply and demand – and does not necessarily mean that you have less to feed the baby. Who ever heard of a 4 month old baby sleeping through the night anyway?? Cheers Mandy in New Zealand

Response:

> By the way, I am returning to work on Monday, and I’m a bit stressed about > that.  Between having an hour commute each way and being away from Nicholas > all day, seems very overwhelming.  Getting no sleep on top of all this is > not helping any.

I work from home most of the time, and have indeed noticed that when I am stressed about something, Ted picks up on it. If I am trying to meet a deadline, invariably he is cranky that day. Once I decide to put things down and work some other time, he and I both feel better. The two days before I went back to work were very stressful for me, which I feel made him cranky. Once I actually started working, everything calmed down. It was the anticipation that was the worst for me. Best of luck. Judi

Response:

>Make sure that you drink a lot (in european measures, 3-4 >litres a day).To let him nurse often is good, the oftener he >nurses, the more milk you will get, that is if you drink enough >liquids along with it.  Take a big glass of water with you >(and have one by the bed) each time you nurse him, as a >routine.  It really helps!  

Actually, although drinking *plenty* is a good idea for everyone to guarantee good health, drinking too much can actually reduce milk supply (according to research). We all vary (I could easily drink that much fluid), but many people do not need as much so, 3-4 litres could be far too much. You should drink to your thirst and not so much that you feel bloated. Most of us don’t recognise thirst, and tend to eat food or do something to distract ourselves when really we ought to drink some water. Try and notice when you are thirsty and the advice about a drink every time you nurse is good. Milk supply is mainly dependent on frequent nursing and an effective suck (a baby with a poor suck may not stimulate the nipple adequately, despite constant nursing). It is less dependent on good diet and fluids than you might think. — Anna (mummy to Emma, born 17th Jan 1995 and Alice, born 11th Sept 1996) You were hungry and I was sorry. You were thirsty, and I blamed the world. You were a stranger, and I pointed you out. You were naked, and I turned you in. You were sick, and I said a prayer. You were in prison, and I wrote a poem.                         STEVE TURNER Web Page: http://www.ratbag.demon.co.uk/anna

Response:

I want to thank everyone for their advice.  It’s nice to know that others have similar problems.  Reading all the different posts in this ng makes me realize that I’m not the only one with these types of problems.  I actually enjoy reading the ng everyday…my husband and I now wrestle for the computer! Nicholas has actually been doing better the last couple of nites.  My husband and I are convinced that he’s teething.  I’m not sure how well he’s adjusting to me being at work.  During the day when my mom is watching him, he barely will eat 3 ozs.  I’ve been pumping in the meantime during lunch and the afternoon.  When I come home, all Nicholas wants to do is nurse, nurse, nurse and then nurse some more!  Which is fine by me BUT I’m not sure he’s getting enough from me.  Since Monday, I feel like I’m not very full.  He’s been tugging and pulling at my nipple also…almost as if he’s trying to get more out?  I thought for sure he’d be waking up more frequently during the night to nurse some more, but he only did that once. Normally, he’ll fall asleep around midnite and not wake till around 8-9am. I haven’t been leaving for work in the morning until he’s awake so I can nurse him. Thanks again!!  I’m sure you’ll be seeing more of me. -Sophia  (mommy to Nicholas 9/11/96) PS. Nicholas’s daddy is wondering if anyone has had a chance to try his game?  He’d really like your feedback on it!  Nicholas and I play all the time!  We really enjoy it.  It’s like a cross of Rummy and Concentration with a garden theme and very cute animations…Nicholas’s favorite is the snowman.  Daddy was working on the game while I was pregnant and we think Nicholas recognizes the music. = http://www.playfulminds.com    family game demos available for download =

Response:

>Nicholas has actually been doing better the last couple of nites.  My >husband and I are convinced that he’s teething.  I’m not sure how well he’s >adjusting to me being at work.  During the day when my mom is watching him, >he barely will eat 3 ozs.  I’ve been pumping in the meantime during lunch >and the afternoon.  When I come home, all Nicholas wants to do is nurse, >nurse, nurse and then nurse some more!  Which is fine by me BUT I’m not >sure he’s getting enough from me.  Since Monday, I feel like I’m not very >full.  He’s been tugging and pulling at my nipple also…almost as if he’s >trying to get more out?

Make sure that you drink a lot (in european measures, 3-4 litres a day).To let him nurse often is good, the oftener he nurses, the more milk you will get, that is if you drink enough liquids along with it.  Take a big glass of water with you (and have one by the bed) each time you nurse him, as a routine.  It really helps!  Also check on his "nursing tecnique": The baby must have as much as possible of your breast, most of the brown area, in his mouth. This is crucial to avoid nipple soreness.   And one important thing:Avoid worrying, too much worrying can reduce your milk production.  Get help in practical matters as much as you can, especially from your husband. Do not clean the house or go shopping or any other things that take your energy.  Give all you have left to your baby!

Response:

: Hello!  My name is Sophia, mommy to Nicholas who is almost 4 months old. : Recently (past week and a half), we’ve been having a very difficult time : getting Nicholas to fall asleep at nite.   Most kids change their sleep patterns as they grow.  He could be teething (as you mention later in your post) he could be having a growth spurt. : I’ve read in some books, i.e.. The Baby Book and Nighttime Parenting by Dr. : Sears, that you can’t spoil a baby when they are this young.  But it seems As far as I’m concerned he’s dead on.  Picking up a child when he crys at this age you are teacheing him that you love him and will care for him. Babies need consistancy to grow up happy and content.  Picking him up when he crys teaches him this as well. : crying, we pick him up because it feels good for him and us.  BOTH GRANDMAS : INSIST THAT WE ARE SPOILING HIM.  I do find this very upsetting, in that I Been there done that.  Tell them firmly but politley that he is your child and you will ask for help when you want it.  Or just smile sweetly and let their advice pass right by.   : good to let him cry, builds up his lungs! I’ve always loved this piece of advice. I tried explining that once a kid is breathing that his lungs don’t need "building up"  That in fact for some kids letting them cry it out is dangerous.  My husbands cousin is of the "let them cry type"  He tells with a certain amount of glee the time his then about 9 month old threw up because he cride so much.   : Does anyone have any suggestions? Unfortunatly no,  Acetaminophin for teething, along with an ice teething ring.  These are like the cold packs you put in an ice chest, but they’re small and have cute shapes.  the cold feels REAL good to most kids.   Personally I hate the teething gel, but you might want to consider that. And yes, he could be teething at 4 months. : By the way, I am returning to work on Monday, and I’m a bit stressed about : that.  Between having an hour commute each way and being away from Nicholas : all day, seems very overwhelming.  Getting no sleep on top of all this is : not helping any. This is where I simply say nothing, since I’m an at home Mom by choice. —                              Heather          Our Fantasies are the stepping stones to our realities.

Response:

Hello Sophia, It seems part of being a mother is finding your way through a maze of well-intentioned advices to the truth for you and your baby.  Each baby is different and what worked well for one may not work well for another.  I just wanted to suggest massaging your baby before bedtime with oil.  It is a method that is getting a lot of exposure in the west but has been done in the east -in Africa and India for centuries.  Lately the western scientists have studied premature babies and massage.  The group who received massage showed statitistically significant increases in brain wiring (I don’t know how to say it like a scientist, but the connections between the synapses were much greater), in accepting physical touch (a problem in preemies) and in general weight-gain.  If it is good for preemies, it probably is good for normal term babies and it really has a soothing effect.  You only need a good oil-coconut for hot climates or summers and extra virgin olive oil for cold climates or winters and a warm room-like the bathroom after you run the water for a bit.  You can start at the head and go down.  There are some videos in your library (at least we have them) which can show you some standard moves, but really it is a give and take, hide and seek game you play with your child.  The oil actually feeds the brain and muscles (that is why it has to be pure oil-no smells or anything added) and the children really like it after they get used to it.   Good luck and enjoy ! Barbara Costian

Response:

Sophia, Is there a reason you don’t want to take Nicholas to bed with you? Don’t tell Grandmas… just do it. We have bed rails on our bed and our night-time ritual goes like this: [BTW, Matthew is 14 months, and we've been doing pretty much the same thing for at least 6 months - routine helps a lot] -bath (mommy and daddy) -jammies (mommy and daddy) -nursing in bed (dimly lit room and mommy only: less distraction) -wind-down time (daddy returns and we play in the bed in the darkened room, maybe watch a little TV, read a baby book) -cuddle in mommy’s arms while she sings Matthew to sleep -mommy turns back on TV and relaxes with baby in her arms for AT LEAST 10 minutes to make sure he’s asleep -transfer baby to warm spot on bed, place baby monitor near and we’re done. Some nights it takes longer than others, and the whole thing almost never takes less than 40 mintues, but he’s out until he wakes up for his first nursing after midnight. The investment of time at 7:30 is worth my sleep from 10-2. Couple of hints: don’t start the ritual until you have reason to believe he’s actually starting to get tired. As you are finding out, you can’t force a baby to sleep. I could never let a baby cry for even a few minutes on the pretense of "not spoiling" it: that just seems ridiculous to me. His needs are much more basal at this point: manipulation is in the future. Now, perhaps he DOESN’T want to be in the crib. He probably wants to be near you. If you are so tired, take him to bed with you and go to bed when he does for a few nights. See what happens. I know some husbands don’t like that idea, but you’d be suprised how many of them change their mind one they sample the peace and quiet it brings. My MIL said nothing about our sleeping arrangements. I can tell my mother only sort of approved: for quite a while she kept asking "when" we were going to start putting him in the crib. I finally just stopped talking about it and now I think she’s accepted that this is just the way we are raising OUR (not her) baby. Now. It also sounds like he is teething. Matthew had his first two teeth through at 4 months, so it can certainly happen. the drool and wrist chewing are sure signs. That may explain the resistance to nurse: the sucking may hurt. Matthew’s teeth always bother his most at night and in that period when he is trying to fall asleep: there’s nothing else to think about or focus on. AND you are returning to work. So you are having the "hell week" most new mommy’s hate and no doubt your stress is being noticed by your little guy. Hang in there. See if the pediatrician will let you give him tylenol for the teething pain, TRY to take at least one nap a day when he naps before you head to work, and really, try taking your baby to bed with you: once you are back at work, you’ll love the time spent close to him, even if he is asleep. Let us knowhow things are going. There’s ALWAYS more advice. Trink, mommy to Matthew, 10/21/95

Response:

> Fist off — you are not spoiling him and crying only unduly raises > his blood pressure and does not help his lungs in any way, shape or > form.  I’m sure you knew that, but I just wanted to affirm your > feelings.  Don’t tell the grandmas what’s going on.  Just be vague > that he’s doing better. If they press for details about times, etc. > say that you’ve stopped watching the clock.

This is good advice for how to handle those pesky grandmas! And remember this:  They think you are spoiling your baby because you give him everything he wants.  Well, babies don’t have wants, they have NEEDS.   (I saw this posted to this ng once, but I can’t remember who said it). This may help put things in perspective.  After all, he won’t be a baby very long.  They grow up much faster than you think. –Laurel in Colorado

Response:

>It does sound as if your baby may be starting to teetn (the first teeth >appear, on average at ages 5 to 6 months, but can be much later), but I >think the real problem is that your baby hasn’t learned to fall asleep on >his own.  You settle him to sleep, but then find he wakes and fusses when >you put him in the crib.  What might help is to settle him until he is >ALMOST asleep and then put him in the crib,  Naturally he won’t like this >at first, but if you develop some good sleep inducing routines, such as >dimming the lights, rocking him in your arms, and putting on a musical >mobile over his crib, he will eventually come to associate these with >sleep.

I agree.  This has really worked with our son, almost three months old.  I want to add that when he starts crying in the middle of the night, we do not pick him up unless it’s likely he’s hungry.  Instead, we will change his position–often, he wakes up when he has turned himself on his back, so we turn and prop him on his side–or we lightly rub or pat his back for a minute.  Our baby uses a pacifier, but we do not give it to him unless he really seems to need it, so he does not have such a habit that we are constantly replacing it, thank goodness, but sometimes *that* is what he wants for getting back to sleep.  Or sometimes, he will have a period after midnight of about an hour or so where he is more or less awake, but he will hum, or amuse himself by playing with his hands, and in this case we leave him totally to his own devices.  Hope this helps.  l.f.

Response:

> Or is it possible >that it could be teething?  It seems a bit too soon.  Although he is >drooling, and sucking on his fists a lot.  Something he didn’t do too much >of before.

Plenty of kids teeth at only four months old. My daughter already had teeth by that age, and the behavior you mentioned sure sounds like it. Cold teehters are a great help, but you may have to hold them for him until he gets the idea (and the coordination) to hold them himself.

Response:

>> Or is it possible >that it could be teething?  It seems a bit too soon.  Although he is >drooling, and sucking on his fists a lot.  Something he didn’t do too >much >of before. >Plenty of kids teeth at only four months old. My daughter already had >teeth by that age, and the behavior you mentioned sure sounds like it. >Cold teehters are a great help, but you may have to hold them for him >until he gets the idea (and the coordination) to hold them himself.

Our son started to teeth at around 3 months but didn’t actually get a tooth until he was 9 months old. The thing that worked for us was a little baby orajel before bedtime, and maybe some Tylenol (children’s of course) if it seemed to really be bothering him. However, he didn’t sleep all the way through the night until about 11 months, and even now at 19 mo. he occaisionally wakes up for a drink of milk or now and then has night terrors. We lived through the first year by trading off: whichever one got up with him at night got to sleep in for an extra half hour (remember, he woke up at 6 am usually!). the best advice I can give is to just wait it out, and try to catch naps when he does. Good Luck! -Amy M. Windmill

Response:

Some four month olds are not yet ready to "let cry" so be careful. Also, keeping a baby up later than his/her regular bedtime as Lisa suggests will only cause more problems.  A baby that is overtired (i.e. babe is kept up despite signs of fatigue) will take much, much longer to settle down as he/she can’t relax enough to fall asleep and also physiologically his/her body has now pumped out a spurt of adrenaline during the time that the parents were keeping him awake.  Adrenaline is serving the purpose to keep his/her body awake (like us drinking coffee).  One can’t expect a baby to fall asleep under these circumstances!  In fact the opposite is true, try settling your baby a few minutes before he/she shows signs of tiredness (a general rule of thumb is 1.5 – 2 hours of wakefulness between naps for a 4 month old and 2-3 hours between naps for an 8 month old).  A baby who is happy and relaxed versus crying and overtired will settle much easier with less crying.  Be alert to your baby’s signs of tiredness and keep a log if you find this helpful.  Just like you feed your baby when he’s hungry, talk to him when he’s lonely, change him when he’s soiled, you can sleep him when he’s tired!  Follow your baby’s cues.  Also, like Lisa has pointed out, sleep associations are very important.  Always encourage some sort of "lovey" like a blanket or stuffed animal that is present whenever the baby goes to sleep.  Sometimes an article of mom’s clothing that has her scent on it works well.  Keep the room dark and conduct the bedtime rituals in the baby’s room as this helps with associating sleeping with the appropriate environment.  Making sure your baby is getting enough naps (e.g. 2 -3 per day) is essential to successful nighttime sleep as well.  Remember that "sleeping through the night" technically is only 5 hours or so.  Good luck.  There are many books out on this subject.  Choose one that feels right to you and fits your parenting style.

Response:

Fist off — you are not spoiling him and crying only unduly raises his blood pressure and does not help his lungs in any way, shape or form.  I’m sure you knew that, but I just wanted to affirm your feelings.  Don’t tell the grandmas what’s going on.  Just be vague that he’s doing better. If they press for details about times, etc. say that you’ve stopped watching the clock. I have a family bed, so I can’t say for sure about the crib, but I’ve found that if I warm up the spot I’m going to be putting my baby down on helps alot, b/c I think the temperature change rouses them. (I sit there, but you could use a hot water bottle or heating pad, just be sure to remove it.) Also, is he FULLY asleep conked out before you put him down?  Wait 10 or 15 or 20 or 30 minutes.  That’s a lot less than hours of rocking, waking, rocking waking.  I think music boxes are great soothers as is a lullabye tape. And the tip in the Dr. Sears book about putting your hand on the back of the head worked wonders for Amy, but Jake doesn’t fall for that one. Best of luck!  And learn the art of napping during the day when the baby sleeps!!! That works wonders.  I never could nap before b/c I’d get a migraine, but when Amy was a baby and now with Jake I can (until my period returns). Colette

Response:

All the infant books I read counselled against letting the child fall asleep in your arms,  because then the child doesn’t learn to fall asleep by himself in the crib.  Since humans wake up many times during the night, a child who hasn’t learned to fall asleep by himself will then cry.  (Same thing if you let the baby fall asleep with a pacifier … it will drop out during the night, then when he wakes and can’t find it, he will cry). I would suggest the Ferber method.  I am sure you can find articles about it on line, but the basic scenario is to let the child cry himself to sleep, but go in and comfort him every 5 minutes the first several nights, then every 10 minutes, gradually lengthening the time.  Most people swear by this, some babies it works in a matter of days, some more like 5-7 days. I don’t think what you have been doing is a question of spoiling the child, or that teaching a child to sleep by himself is the reverse of spoiling.  But you need your sleep, especially if you are returning to work. Katie.

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> This may help put things in perspective.  After all, he won’t be a baby > very long.  They grow up much faster than you think.

Too right they do. Chris  –   Mrs. Chris McMillan. Snail mail: 42 Eastcourt Avenue, Earley, Reading, Berks RG6 1HH. UK. Tel. 0118 926 5450. Fax. 0118 966 8167.

Response:

> Hello!  My name is Sophia, mommy to Nicholas who is almost 4 months old. > Recently (past week and a half), we’ve been having a very difficult time > getting Nicholas to fall asleep at nite.   > I’ve read in some books, i.e.. The Baby Book and Nighttime Parenting by Dr. > Sears, that you can’t spoil a baby when they are this young.  But it seems > like, he doesn’t want to be in his crib.  As soon as we pick him up, he > settles down.  We have never let him cry…as soon as he starts fussing or > crying, we pick him up because it feels good for him and us.  BOTH GRANDMAS > INSIST THAT WE ARE SPOILING HIM.  I do find this very upsetting, in that I > don’t mind picking him up and holding him all the time because he seems so > content when we do, but listening to both my mother and my mil is starting > to annoy me.  They keep saying it’s good for him to cry…it builds his > lungs!

You can’t spoil a baby of four months – he needs love. He may well be starting to teeth (one of the early ones) and this could be his problem. It’s not recommended that babies have solids before a minimum of six months (in the USA anyway – we know the UK are backward in their ideas and say 4 months onwards but don’t do it). The other thing is, are you a bit stressed at the thought of being back at work? Babies pick up on our emotions without us noticing. Sincerely, Chris Mrs. Chris McMillan. Snail mail: 42 Eastcourt Avenue, Earley, Reading, Berks RG6 1HH. UK. Tel. 0118 926 5450. Fax. 0118 966 8167.

Response:

Hello!  My name is Sophia, mommy to Nicholas who is almost 4 months old. Recently (past week and a half), we’ve been having a very difficult time getting Nicholas to fall asleep at nite.   The usual scenario is as follows:  My husband and I will rock Nicholas to sleep in our arms. Then when we put him down in his crib, he wakes up crying.  This goes on from about 10pm til 1-2am.  It has been very tiring and frustrating as I feel VERY exhausted the next day.  I feel like it’s interfering with my mothering the next day because I’ve been getting migraines from being overtired. Some of the things we’ve tried and have worked successfully (but not consistently) in the past are:  nursing him to sleep, bringing him into bed with us, or my hubby will rock him on his fuzzy chest.:) I’ve read in some books, i.e.. The Baby Book and Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears, that you can’t spoil a baby when they are this young.  But it seems like, he doesn’t want to be in his crib.  As soon as we pick him up, he settles down.  We have never let him cry…as soon as he starts fussing or crying, we pick him up because it feels good for him and us.  BOTH GRANDMAS INSIST THAT WE ARE SPOILING HIM.  I do find this very upsetting, in that I don’t mind picking him up and holding him all the time because he seems so content when we do, but listening to both my mother and my mil is starting to annoy me.  They keep saying it’s good for him to cry…it builds his lungs! Does anyone have any suggestions? He usually is not very gassy.  He is exclusively breastfed.  I used to be able to get him to nurse to sleep but this past week, he refuses to breastfeed after about 9pm.  As a matter of fact, as soon as I even try to get him to latch on he starts protesting.  Is it possible that he needs or wants something other than breastmilk, such as cereal.  Or is it possible that it could be teething?  It seems a bit too soon.  Although he is drooling, and sucking on his fists a lot.  Something he didn’t do too much of before. He also doesn’t have a temperature, although he did feel a little warm tonite…thermometer only read 98.3. Any advice or suggestions is greatly appreciated. By the way, I am returning to work on Monday, and I’m a bit stressed about that.  Between having an hour commute each way and being away from Nicholas all day, seems very overwhelming.  Getting no sleep on top of all this is not helping any. -Sophia  (mommy to Nicholas 9/11/96) — = http://www.playfulminds.com    family game demos available for download =

Response:

It does sound as if your baby may be starting to teetn (the first teeth appear, on average at ages 5 to 6 months, but can be much later), but I think the real problem is that your baby hasn’t learned to fall asleep on his own.  You settle him to sleep, but then find he wakes and fusses when you put him in the crib.  What might help is to settle him until he is ALMOST asleep and then put him in the crib,  Naturally he won’t like this at first, but if you develop some good sleep inducing routines, such as dimming the lights, rocking him in your arms, and putting on a musical mobile over his crib, he will eventually come to associate these with sleep. The first few nights, he’ll probably cry when he’s put in the crib away, but you and your husband need to agree that he’s big enough to learn to settle himself.  Once he gets used to this way of doing things, he’ll stop crying when you put him to be, and will just settle himself. One more tip: the first few nights you try this approach, keep him up later than usual–maybe a half hour to hour–so he’ll be good and tired, which will encourage him to settle. Hope this helps, Best, Lisa

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hello!  My name is Sophia, mommy to Nicholas who is almost 4 months old. > Recently (past week and a half), we’ve been having a very difficult time > getting Nicholas to fall asleep at nite. > The usual scenario is as follows:  My husband and I will rock Nicholas to > sleep in our arms. Then when we put him down in his crib, he wakes up > crying.  This goes on from about 10pm til 1-2am.  It has been very tiring > and frustrating as I feel VERY exhausted the next day.[snip] > Or is it possible > that it could be teething?  It seems a bit too soon.  Although he is > drooling, and sucking on his fists a lot.   > Any advice or suggestions is greatly appreciated. > By the way, I am returning to work on Monday, and I’m a bit stressed about > that.  Between having an hour commute each way and being away from Nicholas > all day, seems very overwhelming.  Getting no sleep on top of all this is > not helping any.

This sounds like what I tried to do with my first.  I decided in advance of my second child to let the baby sleep with me.  We (me & baby) both a lot more sleep this way.   Even if he doesn’t want to nurse, just the snuggling will soothe him to sleep.  Also, this gives you more time to be with him since you’ll be missing him all day when you start back to work.  Also, don’t listen to either grandmas.  Use  your own judgement on how to handle your own baby. YOU are his mother and you can love him and spoil him anyway you feel is beneficial to both of you.  You do need some sleep in order to be a good mother – "If momma aint happy, ain’t nobody happy!". I really think sleeping with the baby will help you both sleep more.  Also, a lot of babies start drooling due to teething at this age even though he may not actually get any teeth for months.  The teeth are moving around under those gums. Good luck and sweet dreams!! –Laurel in Colorado

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