Question:
>I do wonder, in the absence of the mythical, what is the answer to "why?" when >talking about rights and wrongs?
This may be asking to be flamed, but I do feel that we live in a society, take and benefit to some extent from that society, and therefore should follow that society’s general rules. Also, if you wouldn’t like it done to you, don’t do it to someone else (else it may indeed be done to you). — Susan Campbell
Response:
> At that point it was obvious to me to find a non-denominational > foundation. And there are many many different "types". It took some > shopping around for me to find something I was comfortable with and > blended well into. Your son is at a perfect age for church shopping > without disrupting consistency and stability.
Does this non-denominational foundation require any growth on your part, or does it fit so well that it does not require anything more of you spiritually, than you already are ? > I do agree that it is a family practice. However, I also think that a > family should encourage a child’s individual pursuits within the family > unit so their own spirituality can flourish and they are able to esteem > some independence in this.
We are individual by our nature. Children need some absolutes in their lives. Religion can be nurturing by it’s absolutes. Whatever feels good or sounds good does not necessarily encourage spiritual growth. When children grow to be adults they will indeed become independant and able to soundly make other religious or spiritual choices. The foundations that were sewn in their families in their early years will sustain and carry them throughout their lives. > My daughter is now 15 and active in youth groups. She and I both love > her friends dearly and there are times I don’t know where she’d be > without them. The parents have followed suit according to the kids > connections and actively strive between us to be "the village raising > the child". When she feels stressed by life — she says her spirituality > is the one thing that’s going right. It’s been very positive for us.
Sounds like any good church I know of. Barb
Response:
>I decided the >following was most important: … >4. Respect and tolerance for alternate belief systems…
What is this is? If you believe, how can you tolerate dangerous non-believers? The only belief systems I can’t respect are those that believe something despite the total lack of supporting evidence. – Ron Low Levity is the dearth of gravity. Brevity is the height of clarity.
Response:
>On the other >hand a secular code of morality (which is religion independent) can help >you to teach right from wrong
I’d like to hear more about this universal right and wrong. Maybe things like: – Love is good – Lying is bad – It is right to help others – It is wrong to hurt others – It is wrong to commit suicide – It is right to have an abortion if you can’t love the child whoops, I guess it’s not so clear cut, but I guess there are other newsgroups to discuss this. I do wonder, in the absence of the mythical, what is the answer to "why?" when talking about rights and wrongs? – Ron Low Levity is the dearth of gravity. Brevity is the height of clarity.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >If your looking to religion to help you teach him right from wrong, I would >have to say that religion won’t help you out much. Learn about some of the >philosophies out there for yourself. In my opinion religion and >spirituality are really the same thing. If you want to give your son a >well rounded approach to life, the choices are between the mystical and the >secular. That is to say, mystical which is a belief in the supernatural >and a confusing code of morality that is derived from it. On the other >hand a secular code of morality (which is religion independent) can help >you to teach right from wrong without all of the guilt associated with it. >Whichever way you go, teach your child tolerance and respect for the >beliefs of others. >I am also a new dad and plan on teaching my daughter a secular morality >without religion. I feel that her learning right from wrong will be hard >enough without her having to worry about eternity and damnation. I will >teach her to truly be her own person. I will teach her to think for >herself and to be accountable for her actions, the rest of it will be up to >her. >JV
I agree with most of what JV has to say, except that I think religion and spirituality are separate issues. I believe that religion is a culture by which spirituality is taught, but by all means not the only one. Philosophies such as taoism are other spiritual cultures. I go along with the other posters about knowing first what you believe in spiritually–your place in the universe and among mankind, your sense of responsibility and your reaction to adversity–and then find the way that will help your child learn your spirituality. Be open to all kinds of ways: Western religion or even any religion is not a necessary way to go. Elena, mom to Dana (13 mo.)
Response:
> Hi, > I’m a fairly new dad. My son is a little over 14 months now. > I am not a particularly religious fellow but know my son needs to be > taught about spirituality and the soul. > Any solutions?
wouldn’t worry about it. if it is important to you, you will teach it… if it is not, you won’t…. who says he "has to"? that is my question. i’m sure you will do fine with whatever you teach about it. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Barry > http://web.idirect.com/~baryzone
Response:
If your looking to religion to help you teach him right from wrong, I would have to say that religion won’t help you out much. Learn about some of the philosophies out there for yourself. In my opinion religion and spirituality are really the same thing. If you want to give your son a well rounded approach to life, the choices are between the mystical and the secular. That is to say, mystical which is a belief in the supernatural and a confusing code of morality that is derived from it. On the other hand a secular code of morality (which is religion independent) can help you to teach right from wrong without all of the guilt associated with it. Whichever way you go, teach your child tolerance and respect for the beliefs of others. I am also a new dad and plan on teaching my daughter a secular morality without religion. I feel that her learning right from wrong will be hard enough without her having to worry about eternity and damnation. I will teach her to truly be her own person. I will teach her to think for herself and to be accountable for her actions, the rest of it will be up to her. JV – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi, > I’m a fairly new dad. My son is a little over 14 months now. > I am not a particularly religious fellow but know my son needs to be > taught about spirituality and the soul. > Any solutions? > Barry > http://web.idirect.com/~baryzone
Response:
> Hi, > I’m a fairly new dad. My son is a little over 14 months now. > I am not a particularly religious fellow but know my son needs to be > taught about spirituality and the soul. > Any solutions? > Barry > http://web.idirect.com/~baryzone
I was presented with the same situation when my daughter was born. I decided to really think about the elements that were most important to me and that I wanted to provide for her. In our case, I decided the following was most important: 1. The core personal relationship with God 2. Not getting caught up in the surrounding doctrinal quibbles 3. The responsibility to know what she believed — vs ousting what she didn’t believe 4. Respect and tolerance for alternate belief systems 5. The ability to determine an independent belief system in time within the "safety" of acceptance by the family unit 6. A healthier, supportive and family/community oriented peer group At that point it was obvious to me to find a non-denominational foundation. And there are many many different "types". It took some shopping around for me to find something I was comfortable with and blended well into. Your son is at a perfect age for church shopping without disrupting consistency and stability. I do agree that it is a family practice. However, I also think that a family should encourage a child’s individual pursuits within the family unit so their own spirituality can flourish and they are able to esteem some independence in this. My daughter is now 15 and active in youth groups. She and I both love her friends dearly and there are times I don’t know where she’d be without them. The parents have followed suit according to the kids connections and actively strive between us to be "the village raising the child". When she feels stressed by life — she says her spirituality is the one thing that’s going right. It’s been very positive for us. I’m not suggesting my value is yours — just exampling my decision making process and the results thus far. You sound like a thoughtful parent and I’m sure you’ll make the right decisions for your family. Best wishes!
Response:
Don’t think about do as I say not as I do. Your children look at you to see what you do. That is part of their learning process. I was sent to sunday school and my parents didn’t attend. But something special happened to me. I was blessed with the Holy Spirit in my youth. This strength helped me to resist drugs I believe. As a father myself I attend Church. I sometimes have our own church service at home. Get out the kids bible read a chapter and talk about it. I can only go to church Once a Month Because I work weekends- my type of profession I have chosen. If you don’t believe it it hard for your children to recieve it. You may want to start some reading about it or checkout your local churchs in your neighborhood and see if they have a mans night. Attend it with other fathers to learn what they have to say. Glenn the Soachman
Response:
>BA>I’m a fairly new dad. My son is a little over 14 months now. >BA>I am not a particularly religious fellow but know my son needs to be >BA>taught about spirituality and the soul….Any solutions? >It is hard to teach your children anything that you , yourself do not >foolow….
I just want to express support for this viewpoint. The best way to teach one’s children about spirituality and the soul is to spend time learning more about it oneself. Children are very perceptive about parent’s real beliefs – perhaps, more than we give them credit for – and they readily take on board the attitudes, beliefs etc. of us parents (including all the parts of ourselves we don’t like!!) With religious/spiritual beliefs, there will be a time of rebellion during the teenage years no matter what. But if parents practice spirituality and don’t preach it, the children are *much* more likely to return to the parental values and beliefs in the post-rebellion period than if the parents had preached without practice. Steve Myers http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk Note: my ‘from’ address is mis-set to reduce ’spam’ emails. However, if ‘reply’ing, the correct address should appear. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.
Response:
BA>Hi, BA>I’m a fairly new dad. My son is a little over 14 months now. BA>I am not a particularly religious fellow but know my son needs to be BA>taught about spirituality and the soul. BA>Any solutions? BA>Barry BA>http://web.idirect.com/~baryzone It is hard to teach your children anything that you , yourself do not foolow. I went to church as a little girl but not much as an adult until I had kids of my own. When I was a little girl my mom put my on a bus headed for Sunday school every sunday but she didnt not attend. I think I would have gotten more from it if she had and it were the lifestyle in which we lived. When my first child was little I began taking him to church he really got a lot out of it. Now our entire family goes and our kids are greatly benefited. A lot more then if we didnt go to learn what we were asking them to. We were never particularly religious either but over the years have become more in touch and work at learning together as a family. I wish my parents had made that effort for me, would have made a big difference to me that is for sure.
Response:
Hi, I’m a fairly new dad. My son is a little over 14 months now. I am not a particularly religious fellow but know my son needs to be taught about spirituality and the soul. Any solutions? Barry http://web.idirect.com/~baryzone
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