Question:
>Allie, >Excuse me, but it is not our job to make sure that "your" world is quiet once you step outside your house.
Excuse me? These are YOUR kids…bratty disruptive, mal-parented menaces. Who’s job is it exactly to mold your childrens behavior if it’s not your job???? > A shopping mall is far from quiet, and ther are not just little children who make noise, have you listened to >any adults or teenagers lately?
I get just as incensed at stupid adults who block the isles with their shopping carts and decide to throw a block party in the middle of a grocery isle. No…stupid behavior and dumbness are not unique to only people with kids. While I"m on the subject. Where do the teenagers of today get the mouths they do? The language they use is so foul that I often wonder if their parents *know* the type of talking and swearing they do? > Unless you have small children of your own, >you really don’t know what some of these moms are going through.
Now this I don’t buy. I"m sorry Tina, but it makes no sense to say that because I don’t have small children now that I have no idea what mothers are going through. As I said before, the mixture of children and stores is not new. What is new is the incapability of the parents of the 90’s to deal with issues that parents for generations before you, dealt with quite well. Allie
Response:
>I a child it throwing a total tantrum *anywhere in public* that child needs to be removed >from the situation until they calm down. >Case in point. My friend’s son is 4 1/2 and *still* throws the occasional tantrum. >He’s always been tantrum prone (even once threw one because she got him out >of the *wrong* door of the car). They tried to go to "Olive Garden" once and he started >throwing a fit. _So they left_. Boxed up the food and left! Very appropriate, responsible >response. You can’t always enjoy yourself when you have kids. If you’re at the grocery store >and your kid is throwing a fit, go to the car and calm down. Yes, this takes extra time.
Exactly my point. I"m not talking about NOT bring children into places period. I"m talking about bringing in children to places they simply can not handle, have proven they can not handle and yet the parents drag them along week after week. The child goes bazerk and it’s hell for all concerned. >OTOH, my son is 18 mos old and is almost always very good when we are >out. But he sometimes screams out of pleasure. Pure pleasure. I won’t leave if he’s making >happy noises (unless we happen to be at a 4 star restaruant, which will probably never happen, sigh). >A kid making normal, happy noises should not *bother* other people. If they do, then its the other people’s > problem and they should stay home! So maybe Allie should hire someone to shop for her.
Nowhere in my post did I say "happy noises". Kids squealing out of glee is not the issue here. Bratty spoiled children and stupid inconsiderate, inept parents with lacking parental skills, are. As for hiring someone to do my shopping for me. Nah, I don’t think so…the most effective thing I saw was an older person scold a young mother for her incompetence. It was rather delightful to see. The young mother was mortified. The older lady got a thumbs up from atleast 4 other passers by. You think I"m alone in my "thinking"? You think I need to chill out?..ha!..Think again 
Allie
Response:
> These places also cater to other people such as the >elderly who just might stand a good chance of tripping over a kid >hurting the kid and them selves.
Or the child might have a whole shelf of can goods fall in on them. I kind of suspect tho that parents who think it’s ok for their kids to use every public place they enter as a playground, are also the same fools who are the first in line to sue if the kid does fall from climbing on a shelf or has a whole stand of tin cans fall in on them. >I do not blame the children for their action, they are just being >kids. I blame parents who or inconsiderate of other people. The >parents who think having kids gives them the right to be >inconsiderate of other people. I can also point a finger at the >people who go a bit overboard on the peace and quiet bit. If you go >to McDonalds you best expect to find screaming kids.
Agreed. And that’s what I think bothers me most. Most of these people think they have some special licence to be ignorant and inconsiderate of those around them. I do not park in a handycapped parking NOT because I might get a fine..but I don’t because it’s inconsiderate of me to think I am "MORE" special than anyone else. This whole mentality of the world owing these parents something really gets my goat. They do think they are some how special and the rest of us should be tolerant of their parental incompetence. Allie
Response:
>Thank you for your sane response. When I read the original post I was >so infuriated that I couldn’t respond in a calm manner.
I can’t say I"m surprised that my post infuriated you. If the shoe fits…hmmm. Look, I’m not here to "cause" you discomfort. But I think your methods of controlling your child are lacking. You said what?..you had to repeat your tantrum "discouraging" how many times? 2? 3? And so far in the last 3 months…how many more times have you tried this so called "effective" method of tantrum control? Wow…I’ll give you an A plus for effort. So tell me, how effective are your methods? Your kid knows that Mom’s not gonna just march him out of the store "forever". Kids are clever, they know how to push and what they can get away with. Clearly your child knows you’ll let him get away with tantrums, cuz he keeps pulling them! Your 2 year old is pushing around other kids? And this 90’s P C Parenting methods are again effective? I think not. If they were, you wouldn’t have had to repeatedly remove the little guy from the store. What does it take to get through to you types? Your methods aren’t working!!!! You are raising little brats! >I have a very active, very noisy almost-2 year old who is just dreadful >in public sometimes.
Lemme see, you know your kid is dreadful in public, you’ve continued to use methods of discouragement that are about as effective as spitting on a house fire. And you get infuriated with me implying that your "types" should be held up to closer scrutiny? Well gee…*laugh*…No wonder. I know why I"m equally infuriated you. > I just kept telling him >over and over in a calm voice that when he calmed down, we could go back >in. We went through this about twice before we finally went home.
Yep…really effective. Not. *sigh* Can’t wait to see what this kid will be like when he’s 14. Allie
Response:
> True there is a limit to what behavior a parent should allow >to happen, but usually young children will test your parenting skills >a few times during a trip.
That’s what I"m talking about tho. It’s like there are no limits with some of these parents. They think it’s perfectly acceptable to let their kids run them! Who are the adults and who are the kids? Someone somewhere in the child’s life has to enforce rules, if "they" as parents can’t, they shouldn’t have kids. > I notice some people getting upset just because a child is being a >"child". Like singing or yapping away about something, or maybe >twisting and moving their body in all directions while waiting in >line. I mean, CHILL OUT, ok? I mean, so your life might be disrupted >for a few minutes, but soon enough you will be out of the store and >back to your quiet life without kids.
It’s assumed that I don’t have kids. What difference does it make if I do or don’t. I don’t think that those who have kids have a monopoly on common sense. That’s as rediculous as saying, well you aren’t a parent in the 90’s.. blah blah. Hate to tell you all, but kids and parenting and basic parenting skills are as old as time. Theres really not that much that is unique to the 90’s when it comes to basic common sense parenting skills. Being tolerant of tantrums, coming up with excuses for badly behaved kids, I think, is beyond the realm of common sense. Allie
Response:
(Snipped a bunch of good stuff about where screaming is and is not appropriate) > BTW for those who read this and think I must be some intolrant mean > old man. I drive a school bus and belive me I think I am the most > tolrant person when it comes to noise that ever walked the face of > the earth.
You actually seem quite reasonable to me. If a person goes to a nice place to eat, they have the right to have a pleasant, quiet meal. (We get a sitter for our year and a half old for these occasions.) If a person is shopping for groceries, chances are they are going to have to drag the kid(s) along. But, do you really expect grocery shopping to be a pleasure, anyway? It does bother me when I see a parent completely ignoring their child’s behavior in a store. When my kid acts up, I tell her that I understand she doesn’t like what we are doing, but some things just need to be done. I try silly faces or songs to distract her. Sometimes (maybe even most times), it doesn’t work. But at least I’ve tried! The thing I find most unacceptable, is parents that give their young children free rein in stores. I angers me to see an unsupervised child pulling (and damaging) merchandise off of shelves or running into people, much more than any ear-piercing scream ever would. From my experience in retail, I’ve seen that parents that don’t supervise their children, also do not pay for damage their children cause, except in the rising costs that get divided amongst all consumers. Plus, someone could take off with your child or they could wander off into a dangerous area. (Why is it that the most dangerous things are always the most facinating to children?) To sum up, it’s not nice to take your kids places that are upscale and nice when you know they’ll have a tantrum. It’s worse to just let them wreak things or run wild (even when it’s not a "nice" place). On the other hand, a little understanding for the parent that is doing the best they can would be nice, too! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>Carol Bailey, mother of a child that does have tantrums in public<<<
Response:
>So what Linda is saying is that because parents have errands to run and >can’t always leave kids with a babysitter, then it is OK for them to >scream and act u p in public? How about parental responsibility to keep >their kids under control and well behaved? No, Linda, lets just ignore >their screaming and bothering other people! Good grief! >The parent is responsbile for the behavior of the child and need to teach >them to behave when in a public place. A parent should never tolerate bad >behavior.
*sign*…It’s obvious from the posts here that you and I are very much alone in our thinking. I still don’t get why parents think it’s ok for their children to act up in public. Are the parents of today so incapable that they simply cannot handle their kids? Who’s the adult and who’s the child? I thank god I"m not a school teacher. If this is the kind of parents that are "around" today…I think they all deserve huge raises in pay! Allie
Response:
> *sign*…It’s obvious from the posts here that you and I are very much > alone in our thinking. I still don’t get why parents think it’s ok > for their children to act up in public. Are the parents of today so > incapable that they simply cannot handle their kids? Who’s > the adult and who’s the child? > I thank god I"m not a school teacher. If this is the kind of > parents that are "around" today…I think they all deserve > huge raises in pay! > Allie
I REALLY hope you have a 2yr old someday… No PARENT on this group is condoning bad behavior in public. But you obviously don’t get it, do you? Ann
Response:
>She says that she does see a limit…and i think we can all assume by her >examples of "kid being a kid" acceptable behavior, that screaming is not >included. But she did seem to wish to convey that other ppl could use a >lesson in tolerance when children are in their presence. >Cathy
I think I am tolerant of children. I"m not whining about kids being kids in places like Burger King etc. Matter of fact it’s kind of fun to see our next generation having a good time and whooping it up in a place that is *appropriate* and encourages that behavior. I don’t think however that I should have to be tolerant of stupid parents who have the mentality level of gold fish, letting their kids act like spoiled brats. It’s one thing to simply hate kids and not want to be around them. I"m not like that. I simply cannot understand the parents out there who think this IS acceptable behavior. Its not. Having to deal with poorly managed, spoiled children is something that nobody should have to tolerate. Allie
Response:
>I don’t have any kids (yet) but I don’t feel the least bit bothered by >loud kids.
I"m not talking about chattering kids here. I"m talking about children who lay on the floor or are toted along howling and kicking and screaming blue bloody murder for the entire duration of the store visit. One might call *that* child abuse. The child clearly is in a situation where he/she just cannot handle the surroundings. >Running around bothering patrons in a resturaunt shouldn’t >be tolerated,
*laugh*, maybe I"m just unlucky but I see this in restaurants all the time. And NO I"m not talking about Burger King and the like. I"m talking about sit down restaurants that do not cater to family dining. I waitressed for a number of years in a few different type of establishments and it amazes me that the parents of today do not understand that a hot plate of spaghetti on their *unattended* 4 year olds head, is a dangerous situation!!! >but how can you expect anyone to get errands done, and >not take their kids? A sitter isn’t always an option.
Why not? > As far as noise >goes, here is what I think: Adults make noise in publis all the time. >Have you heard people talking and laughing loudly in public? Why >should it be any different for kids? In public i expect to hear noise >all around. I would only expect ‘peace and quiet’ in particular >places, like libraries, movie theaters, formal (non fast food) >resturaunts, etc. I see nothing wrong with letting kids, or adults for >that matter, be loud in place like grocery stores and malls. I’ve come >to see it as one of those things we should just accept.
Noise is one thing here, but again this does not address bad behavior on the part of the child. Disruptive adults are fined and tossed out of public places. What makes you with children *above* the same treatment? Parents of yesteryear dealt with this type of thing quite well. So what makes you parents of the 90’s so special that you can’t control your kids? Allie
Response:
> Somehow I get the feeling this was posted just to make those of us WITH >children angry!
Quite the contrary, I asked because I want to know what is in the mind of parents who think it’s perfectly ok for their kids to be disruptive badly behaved and socially inept. Is this really such an outrageous question? I think not. > I guess Allie is saying we should keep them in a cage and >NEVER let children in public places…. Hey, how about locking them in the >car when we do grocery shopping, would that make YOU happy?
No. Again, absolutely not. What about the fathers of these children? Would it be so difficult to babysit for an hour…spend some quality time with their kids and also give the "mom" a break away to get her errands done quickly? As for single moms…is there not one other single parent out there who you could trade babysitting time with? Little Johnny or Janie can have fun playing with their little friends, not be stressed out and dragged through a store they don’t want to be at. And you the parent/mom can get your errands done quicker. Why is it so outrageous to expect people to network with people that have similar situations to their own? Folks, the mixture of stores and children aren’t new. What is new is this increasely "90’s" way of thinking that children aren’t supposed to be taught that certain behavior is expected of them in certain places. Again, I do not understand the mentality of parents who think that it’s ok to disrupt everyone around them. Just cuz you spent 10 hours in labour giving birth to this kid, does not mean the rest of the world owes you something! Sheesh! > I also get the impression, that WE as parents are supposed to be able to >control every little whim because our kids are dolls, not individuals with >feelings, moods, ect:
You know…this kind of stuff didn’t happen in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. What makes you, the 90’s parent, so unique and above common courtesy of those around you? Can someone answer me that? > Geez, lady cut us some slack. Can’t wait til your a parent someday and >your 2 yr old goes nuts on you in a PUBLIC place! There’s nothing kinder >than a look from another parent who understands what you are going thru.. > Ann
My nephew throws tantrums for his mother all the time. When he’s with me he doens’t. Lemme see, is that possible that he knows he won’t get away with it and therefore doesn’t try? I suspect so. It’s about enforced guidelines. If you allow your kids to act like brats, they will be brats. Allie
Response:
> If a toddler is having a tantrum because he doesn’t WANT to go grocery > shopping right now, then dragging the screaming child up and down the > aisles of the grocery store IS teaching the child how to behave! It > shows the child that he will not accomplish what he wants by throwing > a tantrum. Reacting by removing the child will indeed mean that you > don’t have to hear the child scream right this minute, but it GREATLY > increases the chances that the kid will try it again next time. In > other words, letting the child have his tantrum now without getting > any results is an investment in the future. He’ll learn it’s > pointless and stop tantruming.
Thank you for your sane response. When I read the original post I was so infuriated that I couldn’t respond in a calm manner. I have a very active, very noisy almost-2 year old who is just dreadful in public sometimes. He’s actually worse when we go places he *wants* to go because then he doesn’t want to leave and pitches a fit. I would like to publicly thank the people (strangers!) who have supported my decisions on how to handle it, telling me that I’m doing the right thing while my child was kicking and screaming on the floor because he wasn’t getting his way. This happened a few weeks ago at a toystore when Aaron pushed another child after I’d told him we’d have to leave if he did it again. After his second offense, we went outside the store where he just went into a total meltdown, kicking and screaming and hanging on the handles of the store’s door. I just kept telling him over and over in a calm voice that when he calmed down, we could go back in. We went through this about twice before we finally went home. I don’t feel like I’m inflicting him on anyone because I don’t take him places where children aren’t welcome. I think malls and most stores are okay places for children unless there’s a danger that they’ll break something or hurt themselves. We go to "family" restaurants or fast-food when we eat out where there’s lots going on and lots of noise so that he will blend in (and that’s usually during the day, not at dinner-time). Leigh in raLeigh
Response:
Oh PLEASE!!! At certain ages it is NORMAL for kids to act up and throw tantrums and be noisy. What do you suggest parents do? Lock up their toddlers? No better yet, gag them! Obviously you have never had children or you would understand the reality of it. There are far more RUDE adults out there than children. I would always cringe when some such person would sit next to me on a plane, guffawing and snorting so loudly that the pilot probably had to put in ear plugs, whilst complaining about noisy children on planes. I could go on and on and on. Quiet existence in this world? Yeah right! And if parents with children aren’t welcome, management can easily make that point — many fine restaurants do. So obviously most places want our money, as do the mall merchants (many malls have playground areas even!) and the grocery stores (who even have special carts for children) and the movie theatres (they charge the little guys less) and the airlines — they want our business so bad that they let our little ones fly for free or at discount rates. Its the American way. Suzanne (mom to John Henry, 24 weeker, now 23 months and very rambunctious!)
Response:
| So what Linda is saying is that because parents have errands to run and | can’t always leave kids with a babysitter, then it is OK for them to | scream and act u p in public? How about parental responsibility to keep | their kids under control and well behaved? No, Linda, lets just ignore | their screaming and bothering other people! Good grief! | | The parent is responsbile for the behavior of the child and need to teach | them to behave when in a public place. A parent should never tolerate bad | behavior. First of all, let me state that i agree with you that it is the parents’ job to teach their children to behave in all situation. But that being said… If a toddler is having a tantrum because he doesn’t WANT to go grocery shopping right now, then dragging the screaming child up and down the aisles of the grocery store IS teaching the child how to behave! It shows the child that he will not accomplish what he wants by throwing a tantrum. Reacting by removing the child will indeed mean that you don’t have to hear the child scream right this minute, but it GREATLY increases the chances that the kid will try it again next time. In other words, letting the child have his tantrum now without getting any results is an investment in the future. He’ll learn it’s pointless and stop tantruming. My Kenneth is three. He has become a little perfectionist and has been known to burst into tears because he didn’t get something exactly right or because someone says something critical to him. We’ve tried everything; the only thing that stops the crying is showing him that Life Goes On. In other words, if this happened in a grocery store (and thankfully it has not, so far), the solution would be to continue to take him through the grocery store as though nothing happened. We’re hopeful that this strategy will also help him outgrow his unrealistic expectations of himself, and accept the fact that making a mistake is not a cause for an emotional meltdown. Another investment in the future. Removing him from the situation is going to make the emotional turmoil worse, and prolong the perfectionism. You may have to hear the sound of a child crying for a few minutes; i’m sorry, but your temporary comfort is less important than teaching our son proper conduct in the long run. – Cindy Kandolf, mamma to Kenneth (3 years) Bilingual Families Web Page: http://www.nethelp.no/cindy/biling-fam.html
Response:
I was discussing this yesterday with a friend who is a waitress/bartender. I agree, you can’t keep kids quiet all the time. And there are different types of noise. I a child it throwing a total tantrum *anywhere in public* that child needs to be removed from the situation until they calm down. Case in point. My friend’s son is 4 1/2 and *still* throws the occasional tantrum. He’s always been tantrum prone (even once threw one because she got him out of the *wrong* door of the car). They tried to go to "Olive Garden" once and he started throwing a fit. _So they left_. Boxed up the food and left! Very appropriate, responsible response. You can’t always enjoy yourself when you have kids. If you’re at the grocery store and your kid is throwing a fit, go to the car and calm down. Yes, this takes extra time. OTOH, my son is 18 mos old and is almost always very good when we are out. But he sometimes screams out of pleasure. Pure pleasure. I won’t leave if he’s making happy noises (unless we happen to be at a 4 star restaruant, which will probably never happen, sigh). A kid making normal, happy noises should not *bother* other people. If they do, then its the other people’s problem and they should stay home! So maybe Allie should hire someone to shop for her. Nyoka – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I am gonna throw my 2 cents in here also. There are places where you >are to expect to find screaming kids. The most common of these places >are fast food places such as McDonalds and Burger King. Face it these >places cater to small kids, they even have playgrounds >There are also places where you can expect to find kids, but you >shuyld also expect to find them a bit more controled. Places such as >grocery stores, department stores and similar places. Yes they may >be loud, jabber like crazy and even throw an occasional tantrum. But >I do not expect them to be running around the place like it was a >playground. These places also cater to other people such as the >elderly who just might stand a good chance of tripping over a kid >hurting the kid and them selves. >There are also places such as fancy restaruants which do not >necceassairly cater to family style dining. Patrons of these places >pay a good price to enjoy thier meal and do not want to have to listen >to a small child throw a tantrum or be bothered by thier running all >over the place. >I do not blame the children for their action, they are just being >kids. I blame parents who or inconsiderate of other people. The >parents who think having kids gives them the right to be >inconsiderate of other people. I can also point a finger at the >people who go a bit overboard on the peace and quiet bit. If you go >to McDonalds you best expect to find screaming kids. >BTW for those who read this and think I must be some intolrant mean >old man. I drive a school bus and belive me I think I am the most >tolrant person when it comes to noise that ever walked the face of >the earth.
Response:
>So I ask the parents out there, what makes you think it’s >perfectly ok for you and your kids to disrupt the rest of the >worlds quiet existence? What makes you think it’s ok to allow >your kids to run through restaurants disrupting other patrons? >What is the reasoning for parents who find this "acceptable >behavior", to add to the stress levels of all other shoppers? >I just don’t get the philosophy. *sigh* >Allie
Allie, Excuse me, but it is not our job to make sure that "your" world is quiet once you step outside your house. A shopping mall is far from quiet, and ther are not just little children who make noise, have you listened to any adults or teenagers lately? If you go to fast food places (especially in the mall), there will be children, and they will make noise. Some of them will throw tantrums too. Unless you have small children of your own, you really don’t know what some of these moms are going through. And like was said in the previous post, there are mothers who have to get things done and sitters aren’t always an option. Tina
Response:
I am gonna throw my 2 cents in here also. There are places where you are to expect to find screaming kids. The most common of these places are fast food places such as McDonalds and Burger King. Face it these places cater to small kids, they even have playgrounds There are also places where you can expect to find kids, but you shuyld also expect to find them a bit more controled. Places such as grocery stores, department stores and similar places. Yes they may be loud, jabber like crazy and even throw an occasional tantrum. But I do not expect them to be running around the place like it was a playground. These places also cater to other people such as the elderly who just might stand a good chance of tripping over a kid hurting the kid and them selves. There are also places such as fancy restaruants which do not necceassairly cater to family style dining. Patrons of these places pay a good price to enjoy thier meal and do not want to have to listen to a small child throw a tantrum or be bothered by thier running all over the place. I do not blame the children for their action, they are just being kids. I blame parents who or inconsiderate of other people. The parents who think having kids gives them the right to be inconsiderate of other people. I can also point a finger at the people who go a bit overboard on the peace and quiet bit. If you go to McDonalds you best expect to find screaming kids. BTW for those who read this and think I must be some intolrant mean old man. I drive a school bus and belive me I think I am the most tolrant person when it comes to noise that ever walked the face of the earth.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >This is a multi-part message in MIME format. >Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 >Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > So what Linda is saying is that because parents have errands to run and > can’t always leave kids with a babysitter, then it is OK for them to > scream and act u p in public? How about parental responsibility to keep > their kids under control and well behaved? No, Linda, lets just ignore > their screaming and bothering other people! Good grief! >that is not what Linda said at all….i will include a snip of her >statement here: >"I can see how this might bother you if you yourself have never brought >up kids. I mean let’s face it, people with kids do have to shop to get >things. True there is a limit to what behavior a parent should allow >to happen, but usually young children will test your parenting skills >a few times during a trip." >She says that she does see a limit…and i think we can all assume by her >examples of "kid being a kid" acceptable behavior, that screaming is not >included. But she did seem to wish to convey that other ppl could use a >lesson in tolerance when children are in their presence. >Cathy
That snip is from someone else’s post, not mine. But still, I never said that its ok for kids to scream and act up in public. I just don’t think it’s any more annoying than adults who are loud in public. I think people should be able to talk loud, laugh loud, and even argue loud. It doesn’t bother me even slightly. The same goes for kids who scream loud. That doesn’t mean it isn’t ‘bad behavior’ its just that bad behavior that I personally have no responsibility to deal with doesn’t affect me. —Linda
Response:
Screaming kids and public places. I just came back from our local shopping mall. Lucky me. I was treated to at least 7 screaming, fussing or crying kids. Why? I really don’t get this phenomenon of allowing your kids to pull tantrums and make a fuss in public places. One parent was idiotic enough to just keep toting the kid along as he fussed and screamed his way up and down each isle of the grocery store. Again I ask the question…Why? Perhaps I just need to sound off, but this whole concept of badly behaved, badly socialized children is really getting out of control. This occurrence isn’t just a "today" thing either. It’s not limited to Saturdays. It can be a Monday morning, or a late Wednesday evening…somehow..someway, there’s always one stupid parent with one major brat perusing the stores! Why do these twit parents bring their kids into places they KNOW are going to be to much for the child to handle? So I ask the parents out there, what makes you think it’s perfectly ok for you and your kids to disrupt the rest of the worlds quiet existence? What makes you think it’s ok to allow your kids to run through restaurants disrupting other patrons? What is the reasoning for parents who find this "acceptable behavior", to add to the stress levels of all other shoppers? I just don’t get the philosophy. *sigh* Allie
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Screaming kids and public places. >I just came back from our local shopping mall. Lucky me. >I was treated to at least 7 screaming, fussing or crying kids. >Why? >I really don’t get this phenomenon of allowing your kids >to pull tantrums and make a fuss in public places. One >parent was idiotic enough to just keep toting the kid >along as he fussed and screamed his way up and down each >isle of the grocery store. Again I ask the question…Why? >Perhaps I just need to sound off, but this whole concept of >badly behaved, badly socialized children is really getting >out of control. This occurrence isn’t just a "today" thing >either. It’s not limited to Saturdays. It can be a Monday >morning, or a late Wednesday evening…somehow..someway, >there’s always one stupid parent with one major brat >perusing the stores! Why do these twit parents bring their >kids into places they KNOW are going to be to much for >the child to handle? >So I ask the parents out there, what makes you think it’s >perfectly ok for you and your kids to disrupt the rest of the >worlds quiet existence? What makes you think it’s ok to allow >your kids to run through restaurants disrupting other patrons? >What is the reasoning for parents who find this "acceptable >behavior", to add to the stress levels of all other shoppers? >I just don’t get the philosophy. *sigh* >Allie
I don’t have any kids (yet) but I don’t feel the least bit bothered by loud kids. Running around bothering patrons in a resturaunt shouldn’t be tolerated, but how can you expect anyone to get errands done, and not take their kids? A sitter isn’t always an option. As far as noise goes, here is what I think: Adults make noise in publis all the time. Have you heard people talking and laughing loudly in public? Why should it be any different for kids? In public i expect to hear noise all around. I would only expect ‘peace and quiet’ in particular places, like libraries, movie theaters, formal (non fast food) resturaunts, etc. I see nothing wrong with letting kids, or adults for that matter, be loud in place like grocery stores and malls. I’ve come to see it as one of those things we should just accept. —-Linda
Response:
>Screaming kids and public places. >I just came back from our local shopping mall. Lucky me. >I was treated to at least 7 screaming, fussing or crying kids. >Why? >I really don’t get this phenomenon of allowing your kids >to pull tantrums and make a fuss in public places. One >parent was idiotic enough to just keep toting the kid >along as he fussed and screamed his way up and down each >isle of the grocery store. Again I ask the question…Why?
I can see how this might bother you if you yourself have never brought up kids. I mean let’s face it, people with kids do have to shop to get things. True there is a limit to what behavior a parent should allow to happen, but usually young children will test your parenting skills a few times during a trip. I notice some people getting upset just because a child is being a "child". Like singing or yapping away about something, or maybe twisting and moving their body in all directions while waiting in line. I mean, CHILL OUT, ok? I mean, so your life might be disrupted for a few minutes, but soon enough you will be out of the store and back to your quiet life without kids. Lisa Jones
Response:
So what Linda is saying is that because parents have errands to run and can’t always leave kids with a babysitter, then it is OK for them to scream and act u p in public? How about parental responsibility to keep their kids under control and well behaved? No, Linda, lets just ignore their screaming and bothering other people! Good grief! The parent is responsbile for the behavior of the child and need to teach them to behave when in a public place. A parent should never tolerate bad behavior.
Response:
> So what Linda is saying is that because parents have errands to run and > can’t always leave kids with a babysitter, then it is OK for them to > scream and act u p in public? How about parental responsibility to keep > their kids under control and well behaved? No, Linda, lets just ignore > their screaming and bothering other people! Good grief!
that is not what Linda said at all….i will include a snip of her statement here: "I can see how this might bother you if you yourself have never brought up kids. I mean let’s face it, people with kids do have to shop to get things. True there is a limit to what behavior a parent should allow to happen, but usually young children will test your parenting skills a few times during a trip." She says that she does see a limit…and i think we can all assume by her examples of "kid being a kid" acceptable behavior, that screaming is not included. But she did seem to wish to convey that other ppl could use a lesson in tolerance when children are in their presence. Cathy
Response:
>So what Linda is saying is that because parents have errands to run and >can’t always leave kids with a babysitter, then it is OK for them to >scream and act u p in public? How about parental responsibility to keep >their kids under control and well behaved? No, Linda, lets just ignore >their screaming and bothering other people! Good grief!
I was responding to his part about taling them out to a place they can’t handle. Some parents have no choice but to take them out. >The parent is responsbile for the behavior of the child and need to teach >them to behave when in a public place. A parent should never tolerate bad >behavior.
I’m saying that the people who need to mellow out don’t have to be the kids, if adults would quit being so tense about noise. —Linda
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Screaming kids and public places. >I just came back from our local shopping mall. Lucky me. >I was treated to at least 7 screaming, fussing or crying kids. >Why? >I really don’t get this phenomenon of allowing your kids >to pull tantrums and make a fuss in public places. One >parent was idiotic enough to just keep toting the kid >along as he fussed and screamed his way up and down each >isle of the grocery store. Again I ask the question…Why? >Perhaps I just need to sound off, but this whole concept of >badly behaved, badly socialized children is really getting >out of control. This occurrence isn’t just a "today" thing >either. It’s not limited to Saturdays. It can be a Monday >morning, or a late Wednesday evening…somehow..someway, >there’s always one stupid parent with one major brat >perusing the stores! Why do these twit parents bring their >kids into places they KNOW are going to be to much for >the child to handle? >So I ask the parents out there, what makes you think it’s >perfectly ok for you and your kids to disrupt the rest of the >worlds quiet existence? What makes you think it’s ok to allow >your kids to run through restaurants disrupting other patrons? >What is the reasoning for parents who find this "acceptable >behavior", to add to the stress levels of all other shoppers? >I just don’t get the philosophy. *sigh* >Allie
Somehow I get the feeling this was posted just to make those of us WITH children angry! I guess Allie is saying we should keep them in a cage and NEVER let children in public places…. Hey, how about locking them in the car when we do grocery shopping, would that make YOU happy? I also get the impression, that WE as parents are supposed to be able to control every little whim because our kids are dolls, not individuals with feelings, moods, ect: Geez, lady cut us some slack. Can’t wait til your a parent someday and your 2 yr old goes nuts on you in a PUBLIC place! There’s nothing kinder than a look from another parent who understands what you are going thru.. Ann
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