Question:
FWIW, I didn’t wear underwear either, still don’t. I was very prone to yeast infections and the doc told me to give it some air. (now that was more than you wanted to know, lol) Sue B.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Am I the only one who wonders whether or not this is more trolling?? > I don’t buy it. A Tshirt long enough for the aunt not to notice there > was no > shorts in the beginning, and also short enough so there was no way to > move > without fear of exposure? And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with > underwear at > Dad’s house? > What father would actually let a 15yr old girl go out with her fanny > hanging > out to the world just to prove a point? > I think this was just a post to get the guys on the group going with > mental > pictures. > And just in case we can start another flame war about CPS, right? > – Blanche > I think you may be right about this being troll-bait. However, I’d like > to take issue with your words "And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with > underwear at Dad’s house?" > When I was 15, I didn’t sleep in underwear in my father’s house. I > either wore a t-shirt or nightgown and no underwear. (Mom always told me > it was healthier). I guess the difference is that my mother also lived > in the house, but really I don’t think he needed my mother as a > chaperone to me. Most men (and people for that matter) have full > control of their behavior, and would behave appropriately toward nudity > in their adolescent girls, regardless of the presence (or lack thereof) > of their wives. > Cathy Weeks > Before you buy.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Am I the only one who wonders whether or not this is more trolling?? > I don’t buy it. A Tshirt long enough for the aunt not to notice there was no > shorts in the beginning, and also short enough so there was no way to move > without fear of exposure? And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with underwear at > Dad’s house? > What father would actually let a 15yr old girl go out with her fanny hanging > out to the world just to prove a point? > I think this was just a post to get the guys on the group going with mental > pictures. > And just in case we can start another flame war about CPS, right? > – Blanche
I think you may be right about this being troll-bait. However, I’d like to take issue with your words "And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with underwear at Dad’s house?" When I was 15, I didn’t sleep in underwear in my father’s house. I either wore a t-shirt or nightgown and no underwear. (Mom always told me it was healthier). I guess the difference is that my mother also lived in the house, but really I don’t think he needed my mother as a chaperone to me. Most men (and people for that matter) have full control of their behavior, and would behave appropriately toward nudity in their adolescent girls, regardless of the presence (or lack thereof) of their wives. Cathy Weeks Before you buy.
Response:
>>What father would actually let a 15yr old girl go out with her fanny hanging >out to the world just to prove a point? >Steve maybe?
You mean Steve with his fanny hanging out to the world? Ewwww. The mental image! And I thought it was difficult to sleep after *Steve’s* threatened lawsuit? MAN yer cruel! — Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job. It is your job to find ways around your boss’s roadblocks.
Response:
To be honest, I thought it was strange myself. I guess that’s why I wrote what I wrote in my first post. Sue B.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Am I the only one who wonders whether or not this is more trolling?? > I don’t buy it. A Tshirt long enough for the aunt not to notice there was no > shorts in the beginning, and also short enough so there was no way to move > without fear of exposure? And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with underwear at > Dad’s house? > What father would actually let a 15yr old girl go out with her fanny hanging > out to the world just to prove a point? > I think this was just a post to get the guys on the group going with mental > pictures. > And just in case we can start another flame war about CPS, right? > – Blanche
Response:
maybe if his daughter woke up in time to dress this wouldn’t happen. yeah, it’s weird, but i’m sure she learned her lesson. i’m not sure where the "abuse" you claim comes into play. so she was dressed sloppily.. i am 3-4 days a week. big deal. clothes don’t make the man (or the kid). i’m torn in that i think it’s kind of crappy for your bro to make the kid wake up VERY early to help make dinner which is several hours away.. that’s just weird… but at the same time if he’s reasonable and she was uncooperative.. the daughter shouldn’t make the family wait while she sleeps.. throw her ass in the car and go make turkey. i think it might be unhealthy for his daughter for you to judge her on her unkempt appearance.. she’s just a kid.. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > First, let me say this… > I thank you for reading my post. I am posting anon because I am EMBARRASED > at my family & what I saw happen, so I don’t want to be identified. > Yesterday I returned from spending 9 days with my family during > thanksgiving. > I was staying with my sister, who is single. We were holding thanksgiving > dinner at my sister’s house. My bother has a 15 year old daughter, he is > single after his wife left 3 years ago. MANY family members were due to > come to my sister’s house for thanksgiving dinner. > At 9AM our brother came over to help us perpare the dinner for the rest of > the > family. His daughter (my neice) came in with him but I could tell by the > way she looked > when she entered the room that something was wrong, she looked terrible & > wouldn’t > hardly look at us. She looked upkept, appeared to be wearing only a long > t-shirt & > shorts, & was barefoot. Then she went in to the bathroom for a LONG time. > My brother explained to us that she wouldn’t get out of bed that morning, & > finally > he had to order & PULL her out of bed to leave the house. He said she > didn’t shower > or get dressed because she wouldn’t get out of bed, & what she was wearing > there was > what she had slept in. > My brother went to the bathroom door & told her it was time for her to come > help with the preperation. A few moments later she came out. Then I > realized what he > was referring to. After getting a better look at her & spending a few > minuted around, I > realized that all she had on a was long t-shirt, there was NO shorts or > underwear on her! > The t-shirt was barely long enough to cover her pubic area, & if she had to > move or > bend very much the t-shirt was not long enough to prevent her exposing > herself. > She was constantly tugging down at the t-shirt, rarely sitting & when she > did sit > it was obvious that she was straining to sit at an angle that would best hid > her > exposed areas from us. > At one point when she was away I asked my bother if he realized that all she > had > on was that long t-shirt. He responded that it was the result of her not > getting up > when told so she lost her time to clean up & dress, and that the long > t-shirt is > what she had slept in. I offered to let her borrow some of my clothes & he > said that was not acceptable because she had a chance to dress before > leaving but instead chose to lay in bed and had to accept the results of her > actions. > A couple hours later they left for about an hour & then returned. She had > obviously > had time to clean up and dress appropriately. The rest of the thanskgiving > day went well. > I want to report my brother to the authorities for abuse. I can’t believe > he made my > neice walk out of his apartment, to his car, then from his car to walk 1/2 > block to my sisters > house & then do it all over again in reverse when they left, with her > basically naked except for > a t-shirt that wasn’t long enough to properly cover. She had to be exposing > herself > with every step. > My sister says to forget it, & that it is likely a lesson that our neice > won’t need to > learn again. She says the reporting to the authorities will only cause more > trouble > & could possibly cause more abuse if she went to a bad foster home. > When I brought up the lack of clothing & being naked at some moments, she > said > that being naked was a cheap price to pay for learning some lessons. She > also said > that nothing bad happened such as her being hit or other physical things. > I can’t believe my sister is supporting my brother on this. I still believe > I should > report the incident to the authorities. Have any of you experience > reporting > such situations & know what should happen?
Response:
> I would agree that this would not be appropriate for a teenager. But, I > guess I am thinking that everyone is so quick to call the authorities. How > horrible. Do you realize what the impact that could have on a potentially > fine situation or an isolated event.
It should be done! > Some teenagers are just downright nasty > and they don’t care about anyone but themselves.
They have the right to be nasty without being abused and sexually humilated, or do you think that teens you don’t like should be raped? > I agree with Aula and think > that some kind of communication should happen. It is just scary that the > first thing that pops into the minds of nosy people (I’m not saying this > particular family member is nosy, she has a right to be. I mean outsiders) > is to call the authorities especially on family members. > Sue B.
Nobody can tell another how to deal with their child and make it stick without AT LEAST THREATENING to call CPS, and that threat SHOULD be made QUITE plain and the daughter should be told she does NOT have to submit to such unconscionable abuse! Steve
Response:
> >Am I the only one who wonders whether or not this is more trolling?? >I don’t buy it. A Tshirt long enough for the aunt not to notice there was no >shorts in the beginning, and also short enough so there was no way to move >without fear of exposure? And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with underwear at >Dad’s house? >What father would actually let a 15yr old girl go out with her fanny hanging >out to the world just to prove a point? > Steve maybe? > Free Spirit
No. I would NEVER FORCE a child to be sexually humiliated or tell them how they must dress, nor drag them out of the house against their will! If my child liked flashing I would try to argue she should limit it to where it is safe. Steve
Response:
> Am I the only one who wonders whether or not this is more trolling?? > I don’t buy it.
Maybe, who cares!? >A Tshirt long enough for the aunt not to notice there was no > shorts in the beginning, and also short enough so there was no way to move > without fear of exposure?
If she liked dressing that way, then who cares, but she was FORCED to be humiliated that way sexually, and THAT’S ABUSE!! And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with underwear at > Dad’s house?
It doesn’t matter what she sleeps in or whether they shower together, as long as it was voluntary and non-abusive! This was CLEARLY ABUSIVE!!! > What father would actually let a 15yr old girl go out with her fanny hanging > out to the world just to prove a point?
An abuser who is secretly forcing her to go nude to humilate her just in order to arouse HIM!! This is a common abuse thread. > I think this was just a post to get the guys on the group going with mental > pictures. > And just in case we can start another flame war about CPS, right? > – Blanche
Maybe, maybe it’s needed! Steve
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My brother went to the bathroom door & told her it was time for her to come > help with the preperation. A few moments later she came out. Then I > realized what he > was referring to. After getting a better look at her & spending a few > minuted around, I > realized that all she had on a was long t-shirt, there was NO shorts or > underwear on her! > The t-shirt was barely long enough to cover her pubic area, & if she had to > move or > bend very much the t-shirt was not long enough to prevent her exposing > herself. > She was constantly tugging down at the t-shirt, rarely sitting & when she > did sit > it was obvious that she was straining to sit at an angle that would best hid > her > exposed areas from us. > I can’t believe my sister is supporting my brother on this. I still believe > I should > report the incident to the authorities. Have any of you experience > reporting > such situations & know what should happen?
This is EXTREMELY abusive. He should be reported and charged with abuse! Her discomfiture and any such compulsion indicates a really sick abuse he is perpetrating on her! He may even be sexually abusing her and forcing her to reveal herself to humiliate her, many abusers are into that kind of power abuse!! Steve
Response:
Am I the only one who wonders whether or not this is more trolling?? I don’t buy it. A Tshirt long enough for the aunt not to notice there was no shorts in the beginning, and also short enough so there was no way to move without fear of exposure? And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with underwear at Dad’s house? What father would actually let a 15yr old girl go out with her fanny hanging out to the world just to prove a point? I think this was just a post to get the guys on the group going with mental pictures. And just in case we can start another flame war about CPS, right? – Blanche
Response:
> >Am I the only one who wonders whether or not this is more trolling?? >I don’t buy it. A Tshirt long enough for the aunt not to notice there was no >shorts in the beginning, and also short enough so there was no way to move >without fear of exposure? And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with underwear at >Dad’s house? >What father would actually let a 15yr old girl go out with her fanny hanging >out to the world just to prove a point?
I hate to say it, but I have known of some situations that are rather similar. It does happen in real life. -Aula – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I think this was just a post to get the guys on the group going with mental >pictures. >And just in case we can start another flame war about CPS, right? >- Blanche
Response:
> I don’t know, we make toddlers and little ones reap the consequences when > they don’t do what we ask such as getting dressed and putting coats and > clothes on. So,… > Maybe that’s what he is doing.
Yes, but most people don’t pull their toddlers out of the house half- naked at Thanksgiving when it’s likely to be cold out. In their pajammas perhaps, but not mostly naked. If you let a toddler know that if he’s not ready in a certain amount of time, that you’ll take him in his pajammas, well fine. But, the point isn’t missed if the parent threw a blanket around the kid, brought along clothes and a coat, and let the child dress himself after they’ve arrived. I don’t think ANY parenting manual OR common sense OR common decency would suggest that making a kid walk around mostly naked is an appropriate way to handle the situation, no matter what age he or she was. Cathy Weeks Before you buy.
Response:
> I would stay out of it. > Dana 
Why? From my earlier posts, I obviously disagree with you. But in order to understand better, I’d appreciate it if you could elaborate. It seems to me that (and I’m trying not to be perjorative) that keeping the peace within the family is not as important as doing right by the niece. Cathy Weeks Before you buy.
Response:
I would agree that this would not be appropriate for a teenager. But, I guess I am thinking that everyone is so quick to call the authorities. How horrible. Do you realize what the impact that could have on a potentially fine situation or an isolated event. Some teenagers are just downright nasty and they don’t care about anyone but themselves. I agree with Aula and think that some kind of communication should happen. It is just scary that the first thing that pops into the minds of nosy people (I’m not saying this particular family member is nosy, she has a right to be. I mean outsiders) is to call the authorities especially on family members. Sue B. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > First, let me say this… > I thank you for reading my post. I am posting anon because I am EMBARRASED > at my family & what I saw happen, so I don’t want to be identified. > Yesterday I returned from spending 9 days with my family during > thanksgiving. > I was staying with my sister, who is single. We were holding thanksgiving > dinner at my sister’s house. My bother has a 15 year old daughter, he is > single after his wife left 3 years ago. MANY family members were due to > come to my sister’s house for thanksgiving dinner. > At 9AM our brother came over to help us perpare the dinner for the rest of > the > family. His daughter (my neice) came in with him but I could tell by the > way she looked > when she entered the room that something was wrong, she looked terrible & > wouldn’t > hardly look at us. She looked upkept, appeared to be wearing only a long > t-shirt & > shorts, & was barefoot. Then she went in to the bathroom for a LONG time. > My brother explained to us that she wouldn’t get out of bed that morning, & > finally > he had to order & PULL her out of bed to leave the house. He said she > didn’t shower > or get dressed because she wouldn’t get out of bed, & what she was wearing > there was > what she had slept in. > My brother went to the bathroom door & told her it was time for her to come > help with the preperation. A few moments later she came out. Then I > realized what he > was referring to. After getting a better look at her & spending a few > minuted around, I > realized that all she had on a was long t-shirt, there was NO shorts or > underwear on her! > The t-shirt was barely long enough to cover her pubic area, & if she had to > move or > bend very much the t-shirt was not long enough to prevent her exposing > herself. > She was constantly tugging down at the t-shirt, rarely sitting & when she > did sit > it was obvious that she was straining to sit at an angle that would best hid > her > exposed areas from us. > At one point when she was away I asked my bother if he realized that all she > had > on was that long t-shirt. He responded that it was the result of her not > getting up > when told so she lost her time to clean up & dress, and that the long > t-shirt is > what she had slept in. I offered to let her borrow some of my clothes & he > said that was not acceptable because she had a chance to dress before > leaving but instead chose to lay in bed and had to accept the results of her > actions. > A couple hours later they left for about an hour & then returned. She had > obviously > had time to clean up and dress appropriately. The rest of the thanskgiving > day went well. > I want to report my brother to the authorities for abuse. I can’t believe > he made my > neice walk out of his apartment, to his car, then from his car to walk 1/2 > block to my sisters > house & then do it all over again in reverse when they left, with her > basically naked except for > a t-shirt that wasn’t long enough to properly cover. She had to be exposing > herself > with every step. > My sister says to forget it, & that it is likely a lesson that our neice > won’t need to > learn again. She says the reporting to the authorities will only cause more > trouble > & could possibly cause more abuse if she went to a bad foster home. > When I brought up the lack of clothing & being naked at some moments, she > said > that being naked was a cheap price to pay for learning some lessons. She > also said > that nothing bad happened such as her being hit or other physical things. > I can’t believe my sister is supporting my brother on this. I still believe > I should > report the incident to the authorities. Have any of you experience > reporting > such situations & know what should happen?
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > First, let me say this… > I thank you for reading my post. I am posting anon because I am EMBARRASED > at my family & what I saw happen, so I don’t want to be identified. > Yesterday I returned from spending 9 days with my family during > thanksgiving. > I was staying with my sister, who is single. We were holding thanksgiving > dinner at my sister’s house. My bother has a 15 year old daughter, he is > single after his wife left 3 years ago. MANY family members were due to > come to my sister’s house for thanksgiving dinner. > At 9AM our brother came over to help us perpare the dinner for the rest of > the > family. His daughter (my neice) came in with him but I could tell by the > way she looked > when she entered the room that something was wrong, she looked terrible & > wouldn’t > hardly look at us. She looked upkept, appeared to be wearing only a long > t-shirt & > shorts, & was barefoot. Then she went in to the bathroom for a LONG time. > My brother explained to us that she wouldn’t get out of bed that morning, & > finally > he had to order & PULL her out of bed to leave the house. He said she > didn’t shower > or get dressed because she wouldn’t get out of bed, & what she was wearing > there was > what she had slept in. > My brother went to the bathroom door & told her it was time for her to come > help with the preperation. A few moments later she came out. Then I > realized what he > was referring to. After getting a better look at her & spending a few > minuted around, I > realized that all she had on a was long t-shirt, there was NO shorts or > underwear on her! > The t-shirt was barely long enough to cover her pubic area, & if she had to > move or > bend very much the t-shirt was not long enough to prevent her exposing > herself. > She was constantly tugging down at the t-shirt, rarely sitting & when she > did sit > it was obvious that she was straining to sit at an angle that would best hid > her > exposed areas from us. > At one point when she was away I asked my bother if he realized that all she > had > on was that long t-shirt. He responded that it was the result of her not > getting up > when told so she lost her time to clean up & dress, and that the long > t-shirt is > what she had slept in. I offered to let her borrow some of my clothes & he > said that was not acceptable because she had a chance to dress before > leaving but instead chose to lay in bed and had to accept the results of her > actions. > A couple hours later they left for about an hour & then returned. She had > obviously > had time to clean up and dress appropriately. The rest of the thanskgiving > day went well. > I want to report my brother to the authorities for abuse. I can’t believe > he made my > neice walk out of his apartment, to his car, then from his car to walk 1/2 > block to my sisters > house & then do it all over again in reverse when they left, with her > basically naked except for > a t-shirt that wasn’t long enough to properly cover. She had to be exposing > herself > with every step. > My sister says to forget it, & that it is likely a lesson that our neice > won’t need to > learn again. She says the reporting to the authorities will only cause more > trouble > & could possibly cause more abuse if she went to a bad foster home. > When I brought up the lack of clothing & being naked at some moments, she > said > that being naked was a cheap price to pay for learning some lessons. She > also said > that nothing bad happened such as her being hit or other physical things. > I can’t believe my sister is supporting my brother on this. I still believe > I should > report the incident to the authorities. Have any of you experience > reporting > such situations & know what should happen?
You raise a good question here, and I encourage you to look at things from all the angles. We certainly do, as another poster noted, make the toddlers experience the results of their choices. While your brother may have been attempting to do that, he really did cross the line with a pubescent girl. Now, your brother may also have not been able to come up with a different way of dealing with the situation. But forcing an adolescent into a situation where she is possibly exposing her genitalia and vicinity in public [walking down the street] and to other adults, even if they are family, would generally be considered inappropriate and possibly a bizarre form of punishment, if not abusive. *IF* that were part of a pattern of similar bizarre punitive events, then one would probably want to give serious consideration to involving the authorities. If, however, you are pretty sure that this was an isolated event one would not. In the later event your brother made a poor choice and could probably benefit from some loving input that would help him come up with more socially acceptable methods of disciplining her next time something happens. You don’t say much about your relationship with your brother. Would he talk things over with you? Is he having a hard time dealing with parenting an adolescent girl without his wife? Are there other issues that your niece is presenting to him that he is struggling with? Is she acting like a major twerp and he is out of ideas and grasping for anything that might get her to be more cooperative? If any of those questions get a possible yes, then see what you can do to help him find the answers rather than calling the authorities. You wondered about what the result of an abuse call would be. Well, the authorities would investigate. This can tear families apart, and not just father and daughter, but the relatives who have opinions about the whole thing. If your niece were removed from his custody the State would hopefully attempt to identify a relative to place her with. But, if she was having problems while living with her father she has not resolved them simply by being removed from her house and they have now been exacerbated by separation from her father. This could be particularly devastating if she has yet to resolve her feelings from her mother’s departure. Further, this can place the caretaking relative at odds with the father as they may be forced to refuse to allow him to visit her, there could be disagreements over how she is to be treated/house rules, etc. Not good. Reach out to your brother and try to talk with him without sounding like you are judging him. An opening along the lines of asking him if your niece is giving him difficulties or presenting some challenges might be a way to help him decide to open up and really talk to you. Asking him what he has tried to do and what effect it has seemed to have can help you two evaluate what might have started to work and why things didn’t on certain occasions. He might even be willing to listen to suggestions about getting outside help [if he seems to need it, which I am not saying is a definite here, we have too little data to go on at this point] if you two end up agreeing that your niece could use some help with her issues. A lot of parents with children who act out feel judged by the whole world. Whether or not they have made mistakes [and don't we all make some!] is not the important part. The important part is helping them understand that they could use some more tools in their tool box to deal with this particular child and these particular circumstances and that it is no negative judgment on them for not having those tools already fully developed. I hope that things work out well and you come to a decision with which you can live. -Aula
Response:
Do I think you should do something about this? YES! Do I think you should report this? Probably not. yet. Watch for patterns in his behavior. Does he pull shit like this all the time? Or is this a one- time only thing that happened because he lost his temper? The way I see it is this: would YOU want to be treated that way? Would you expect your boss to do this to you if you don’t come to work on time? If a husband did this to a wife, she could probably have him arrested for assault. You might say "take off your pants and underwear, and see how well you learn ANY lesson." 1. She could have stayed home by herself. Why couldn’t he have left her behind? 2. He could have started waking her up MUCH, MUCH earlier. Teens often DO have a hard time getting up, and keeping that in mind would have shown a lot of consideration on his part. Consideration that she would have appreciated. And perhaps returned 3. It’s easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission. Loan her the clothes without his permission, or even asking him. When he throws a fit, you can say in a falsely sweet voice "oh, I just can’t believe anyone would be so mean as to make a young woman strip in front of her family." Then if he makes a scene and pushes the issue, say "I think that’s REALLY inappropriate. I’m leaving, See you next Thanksgiving. Oh, and don’t even THINK of bringing a near-naked family member to my house." You might also point out that he could be arrested for abuse if a policeman had witnessed his daughter’s indecent exposure. The way she was dressed was potentially illegal. You might outline all of this in a letter to him. You might also ask him if the relationship (or lack therof) he has with his daughter for the rest of his life is more or less important than punctuality. And you might make some suggestions for how he SHOULD have handled it, AND suggestions for strategies for teaching punctuality that aren’t so incredibly rude. Oh, and to your sister’s comment "that nothing bad happened such as her being hit or other physical things" ….being hit isn’t the only bad thing that can happen to a child. I know some incredibly messed up adults whose parents never hit them, but were mean as hell. Humiliation is not a particularly wise parenting tool. And anyone who would do what he did to his daughter might ALSO be hitting her. Cathy Weeks – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My brother explained to us that she wouldn’t get out of bed that morning, & > finally > he had to order & PULL her out of bed to leave the house. He said she > didn’t shower > or get dressed because she wouldn’t get out of bed, & what she was wearing > there was > what she had slept in. > My brother went to the bathroom door & told her it was time for her to come > help with the preperation. A few moments later she came out. Then I > realized what he > was referring to. After getting a better look at her & spending a few > minuted around, I > realized that all she had on a was long t-shirt, there was NO shorts or > underwear on her! > My sister says to forget it, & that it is likely a lesson that our neice > won’t need to > learn again. She says the reporting to the authorities will only cause more > trouble > & could possibly cause more abuse if she went to a bad foster home. > When I brought up the lack of clothing & being naked at some moments, she > said > that being naked was a cheap price to pay for learning some lessons. She > also said > that nothing bad happened such as her being hit or other physical things. > I can’t believe my sister is supporting my brother on this. I still believe > I should > report the incident to the authorities. Have any of you experience > reporting > such situations & know what should happen?
Before you buy.
Response:
I would stay out of it. Dana
Response:
>Am I the only one who wonders whether or not this is more trolling?? >I don’t buy it. A Tshirt long enough for the aunt not to notice there was no >shorts in the beginning, and also short enough so there was no way to move >without fear of exposure? And the 15yr old doesn’t sleep with underwear at >Dad’s house? >What father would actually let a 15yr old girl go out with her fanny hanging >out to the world just to prove a point?
Steve maybe? >I think this was just a post to get the guys on the group going with mental >pictures. >And just in case we can start another flame war about CPS, right? >- Blanche
Free Spirit DD(4) DS(7)
Response:
I would talk to my brother about it, as being unreasonably harsh and embarassing for the girl. But I wouldn’t report it as abuse. Banty – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >First, let me say this… >I thank you for reading my post. I am posting anon because I am EMBARRASED >at my family & what I saw happen, so I don’t want to be identified. >Yesterday I returned from spending 9 days with my family during >thanksgiving. >I was staying with my sister, who is single. We were holding thanksgiving >dinner at my sister’s house. My bother has a 15 year old daughter, he is >single after his wife left 3 years ago. MANY family members were due to >come to my sister’s house for thanksgiving dinner. >At 9AM our brother came over to help us perpare the dinner for the rest of >the >family. His daughter (my neice) came in with him but I could tell by the >way she looked >when she entered the room that something was wrong, she looked terrible & >wouldn’t >hardly look at us. She looked upkept, appeared to be wearing only a long >t-shirt & >shorts, & was barefoot. Then she went in to the bathroom for a LONG time. >My brother explained to us that she wouldn’t get out of bed that morning, & >finally >he had to order & PULL her out of bed to leave the house. He said she >didn’t shower >or get dressed because she wouldn’t get out of bed, & what she was wearing >there was >what she had slept in. >My brother went to the bathroom door & told her it was time for her to come >help with the preperation. A few moments later she came out. Then I >realized what he >was referring to. After getting a better look at her & spending a few >minuted around, I >realized that all she had on a was long t-shirt, there was NO shorts or >underwear on her! >The t-shirt was barely long enough to cover her pubic area, & if she had to >move or >bend very much the t-shirt was not long enough to prevent her exposing >herself. >She was constantly tugging down at the t-shirt, rarely sitting & when she >did sit >it was obvious that she was straining to sit at an angle that would best hid >her >exposed areas from us. >At one point when she was away I asked my bother if he realized that all she >had >on was that long t-shirt. He responded that it was the result of her not >getting up >when told so she lost her time to clean up & dress, and that the long >t-shirt is >what she had slept in. I offered to let her borrow some of my clothes & he >said that was not acceptable because she had a chance to dress before >leaving but instead chose to lay in bed and had to accept the results of her >actions. >A couple hours later they left for about an hour & then returned. She had >obviously >had time to clean up and dress appropriately. The rest of the thanskgiving >day went well. >I want to report my brother to the authorities for abuse. I can’t believe >he made my >neice walk out of his apartment, to his car, then from his car to walk 1/2 >block to my sisters >house & then do it all over again in reverse when they left, with her >basically naked except for >a t-shirt that wasn’t long enough to properly cover. She had to be exposing >herself >with every step. >My sister says to forget it, & that it is likely a lesson that our neice >won’t need to >learn again. She says the reporting to the authorities will only cause more >trouble >& could possibly cause more abuse if she went to a bad foster home. >When I brought up the lack of clothing & being naked at some moments, she >said >that being naked was a cheap price to pay for learning some lessons. She >also said >that nothing bad happened such as her being hit or other physical things. >I can’t believe my sister is supporting my brother on this. I still believe >I should >report the incident to the authorities. Have any of you experience >reporting >such situations & know what should happen?
Response:
I don’t know, we make toddlers and little ones reap the consequences when they don’t do what we ask such as getting dressed and putting coats and clothes on. So,… Maybe that’s what he is doing. Sue B. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > First, let me say this… > I thank you for reading my post. I am posting anon because I am EMBARRASED > at my family & what I saw happen, so I don’t want to be identified. > Yesterday I returned from spending 9 days with my family during > thanksgiving. > I was staying with my sister, who is single. We were holding thanksgiving > dinner at my sister’s house. My bother has a 15 year old daughter, he is > single after his wife left 3 years ago. MANY family members were due to > come to my sister’s house for thanksgiving dinner. > At 9AM our brother came over to help us perpare the dinner for the rest of > the > family. His daughter (my neice) came in with him but I could tell by the > way she looked > when she entered the room that something was wrong, she looked terrible & > wouldn’t > hardly look at us. She looked upkept, appeared to be wearing only a long > t-shirt & > shorts, & was barefoot. Then she went in to the bathroom for a LONG time. > My brother explained to us that she wouldn’t get out of bed that morning, & > finally > he had to order & PULL her out of bed to leave the house. He said she > didn’t shower > or get dressed because she wouldn’t get out of bed, & what she was wearing > there was > what she had slept in. > My brother went to the bathroom door & told her it was time for her to come > help with the preperation. A few moments later she came out. Then I > realized what he > was referring to. After getting a better look at her & spending a few > minuted around, I > realized that all she had on a was long t-shirt, there was NO shorts or > underwear on her! > The t-shirt was barely long enough to cover her pubic area, & if she had to > move or > bend very much the t-shirt was not long enough to prevent her exposing > herself. > She was constantly tugging down at the t-shirt, rarely sitting & when she > did sit > it was obvious that she was straining to sit at an angle that would best hid > her > exposed areas from us. > At one point when she was away I asked my bother if he realized that all she > had > on was that long t-shirt. He responded that it was the result of her not > getting up > when told so she lost her time to clean up & dress, and that the long > t-shirt is > what she had slept in. I offered to let her borrow some of my clothes & he > said that was not acceptable because she had a chance to dress before > leaving but instead chose to lay in bed and had to accept the results of her > actions. > A couple hours later they left for about an hour & then returned. She had > obviously > had time to clean up and dress appropriately. The rest of the thanskgiving > day went well. > I want to report my brother to the authorities for abuse. I can’t believe > he made my > neice walk out of his apartment, to his car, then from his car to walk 1/2 > block to my sisters > house & then do it all over again in reverse when they left, with her > basically naked except for > a t-shirt that wasn’t long enough to properly cover. She had to be exposing > herself > with every step. > My sister says to forget it, & that it is likely a lesson that our neice > won’t need to > learn again. She says the reporting to the authorities will only cause more > trouble > & could possibly cause more abuse if she went to a bad foster home. > When I brought up the lack of clothing & being naked at some moments, she > said > that being naked was a cheap price to pay for learning some lessons. She > also said > that nothing bad happened such as her being hit or other physical things. > I can’t believe my sister is supporting my brother on this. I still believe > I should > report the incident to the authorities. Have any of you experience > reporting > such situations & know what should happen?
Response:
First, let me say this… I thank you for reading my post. I am posting anon because I am EMBARRASED at my family & what I saw happen, so I don’t want to be identified. Yesterday I returned from spending 9 days with my family during thanksgiving. I was staying with my sister, who is single. We were holding thanksgiving dinner at my sister’s house. My bother has a 15 year old daughter, he is single after his wife left 3 years ago. MANY family members were due to come to my sister’s house for thanksgiving dinner. At 9AM our brother came over to help us perpare the dinner for the rest of the family. His daughter (my neice) came in with him but I could tell by the way she looked when she entered the room that something was wrong, she looked terrible & wouldn’t hardly look at us. She looked upkept, appeared to be wearing only a long t-shirt & shorts, & was barefoot. Then she went in to the bathroom for a LONG time. My brother explained to us that she wouldn’t get out of bed that morning, & finally he had to order & PULL her out of bed to leave the house. He said she didn’t shower or get dressed because she wouldn’t get out of bed, & what she was wearing there was what she had slept in. My brother went to the bathroom door & told her it was time for her to come help with the preperation. A few moments later she came out. Then I realized what he was referring to. After getting a better look at her & spending a few minuted around, I realized that all she had on a was long t-shirt, there was NO shorts or underwear on her! The t-shirt was barely long enough to cover her pubic area, & if she had to move or bend very much the t-shirt was not long enough to prevent her exposing herself. She was constantly tugging down at the t-shirt, rarely sitting & when she did sit it was obvious that she was straining to sit at an angle that would best hid her exposed areas from us. At one point when she was away I asked my bother if he realized that all she had on was that long t-shirt. He responded that it was the result of her not getting up when told so she lost her time to clean up & dress, and that the long t-shirt is what she had slept in. I offered to let her borrow some of my clothes & he said that was not acceptable because she had a chance to dress before leaving but instead chose to lay in bed and had to accept the results of her actions. A couple hours later they left for about an hour & then returned. She had obviously had time to clean up and dress appropriately. The rest of the thanskgiving day went well. I want to report my brother to the authorities for abuse. I can’t believe he made my neice walk out of his apartment, to his car, then from his car to walk 1/2 block to my sisters house & then do it all over again in reverse when they left, with her basically naked except for a t-shirt that wasn’t long enough to properly cover. She had to be exposing herself with every step. My sister says to forget it, & that it is likely a lesson that our neice won’t need to learn again. She says the reporting to the authorities will only cause more trouble & could possibly cause more abuse if she went to a bad foster home. When I brought up the lack of clothing & being naked at some moments, she said that being naked was a cheap price to pay for learning some lessons. She also said that nothing bad happened such as her being hit or other physical things. I can’t believe my sister is supporting my brother on this. I still believe I should report the incident to the authorities. Have any of you experience reporting such situations & know what should happen?
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