Question:
>Babies usually get better about sleeping on their own as they get older.
when oh when??!! my kids are 20 months old and almost-4-yrs…..still ain’t better! every night it’s "musical beds" or "family bed". How I wish I would have Ferberized my kids before their 1st birthdays. My kids are the "worst examples" a la Ferber. And I just read an article in the 11/96 issue of Parenting about sleeping, yep, my kids are the worst example. How I wish I would have read Ferber before my first baby was born. My 2nd baby was ok, until he was hospitalized this past August with pneumonia, now we have nothing but sleep problems since during his illness he was held/rocked/slept with us constantly. Anyway, didn’t mean to sound sarcastic. It’s just that we’ve created a terrible sleeping situation for us and our kids and are having a tough time fixing it. I’ve already slept downstairs on the couch just to have a decent night sleep, how crazy is that?! Christine M. Dakes Mom to: "Big Kah-hoon-ah" Zakary Joseph 3/5/95 – "Moon Doggie" …And we’re livin’ here in Allentown, PA
Response:
I forgot to mention that Dr. Sears’ books have a long explanation of sleep cycles in infants which is really very helpful and comforting when dealing with sleep "problems". This is especially helpful when you have well meaning, but ill-informed relatives and friends telling you that the baby should be sleeping on her own, you should "let her cry", or that you are "spoiling" her. Sherry.
Response:
What is the main goal of all these sleep problems? The main goal is for everyone to get a good night’s sleep so all will feel well and rested in the morning. So why do some parents worry about where that sleep occurs? The worry and subsequent battles about getting children to sleep where they WON’T sleep results in NO sleep and everyone is cranky in the morning. I know I like sleeping with my husband – so why in the world would anyone assume a child would like sleeping alone? Dr. Sears has an excellent book, "Nighttime Parenting". I’d also recommend Tine Thevenin’s book "The Family Bed." Deb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Our 4 month old sleeps with us and has since birth. She won’t fall > asleep on her own, unless we’re in the car, and 9 times out of 10, she > wakes as soon as we stop. Consequently, she rarely naps, unless I nurse > her to sleep and stay with her the whole time; and she wakes several > times a night and must be nursed back to sleep. I want to get her to > sleep on her own for fear that I’ll never get her out of the bed; > however, I am afraid that she’s too young for the "crying it out" > solutions I’ve read about. HELP!!!
Response:
I fully sympathize with your problem (I too have had this problem). And I agree that she is too young for the "crying it out" solutions. One of the big proponents of that "solution" is Dr. Ferber. He has a book on his method; I understand that even he doesn’t recommend it for babies under 6 months. It really is natural for a baby this young to have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep on her own. It may help to remember that babies this age don’t have the ability to keep themselves awake if they need to sleep. So if she takes only short naps and wakes after the car stops or the nursing stops, she’ll make up for it later. She might even sleep better at night. The other thing to remember is that it is perfectly natural for a baby of four months to not sleep through the night. Frequent waking and nursing is normal. Their little bodies are not capable of going that long without food. For moral support and possible suggestions check out Dr. Sears’ baby book and his "Nighttime Parenting" book from your local library. These may be of help. Babies usually get better about sleeping on their own as they get older. Good luck. Sherry Magazine mom to Rebecca (15 months)
Response:
Our 4 month old sleeps with us and has since birth. She won’t fall asleep on her own, unless we’re in the car, and 9 times out of 10, she wakes as soon as we stop. Consequently, she rarely naps, unless I nurse her to sleep and stay with her the whole time; and she wakes several times a night and must be nursed back to sleep. I want to get her to sleep on her own for fear that I’ll never get her out of the bed; however, I am afraid that she’s too young for the "crying it out" solutions I’ve read about. HELP!!!
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